I did as Adam said and went to finish my homework in my bedroom. At first, it was difficult to concentrate but after a little while I managed to get into it. It was a distraction from my heightened emotions and feelings. I even read ahead a couple of chapters in my chemistry textbook, but if I was honest, it was because I was stalling going to find Brian to apologise. I knew I had to though. Not just because Adam and Hannah expected me to, but because I knew I'd been out of line in what I'd said to him. Cruel even. I still wasn't happy with what he'd said to me about Olivia, but Hannah was right: Brian was going through a lot and it was our job to support him.

Eventually, I had nothing left to do for school. About 90 minutes had passed since I'd come up to my room and it was getting later in the evening. Guthrie and I don't have an official bedtime now, like we did when we were little, but Adam usually wants us in bed by 10pm at the absolute latest on a school night, especially as mornings on ranches are early.

I took a deep breath, as though preparing myself, and then I left my room and went downstairs. The house was quiet. Starr was fast asleep in her crib on her back, her little arms in a cactus position. Adam and Hannah were sitting on one of the couches, Adam on one side and Hannah lying with her head in Adam's lap. They were both reading- Adam the newspaper and Hannah her book. Adam was stroking Hannah's hair with a free hand; something I knew she loved. She always joked she was like a cat. They both looked up from their reading as I came downstairs.

"You get your homework done, honey?" Hannah asked me.

She sat up then.

"Yeah. I did all of it and then I read ahead a little for chemistry," I said.

Hannah smiled at me. "That's a good idea."

"Yep. Do you know where Brian is?"

"He hasn't come back inside," Adam said, "But he hasn't taken the car and he wouldn't go far anyway because of Starr so he'll be around somewhere. Perhaps check the work shed."

"Okay," I said, heading towards the front door.

"After you've squared things with him, come straight back inside, alright? It's gettin' late and it's a school night."

"Okay," I said again.

The evening was warm and humid. I first went to check that Brian's horse, Quincey, was in his stall to make sure he hadn't gone for a ride. Quincey was there, happily nibbling on hay, so after that, I went to the work shed as Adam had suggested. The work shed was where my brothers repaired things or made things for around the ranch. I knew it was also somewhere that Adam, or Brian especially, went if they wanted a bit of peace. Normally, I wouldn't hesitate to just go in, but since I knew that Brian was ticked off at me, I felt a little apprehensive at just sauntering inside, so I knocked softly before I pushed the door open.

Brian was perched on a stool at the big wooden worktable, a pencil in hand. There were papers all over the table with drawings that looked like architectural plans of some kind, although not as sophisticated as that. An empty beer can lay on its side on the table and it looked like Brian was working his way through another one.

Brian looked up at I entered.

"Hey… is it alright if I come in…?" I asked.

Brian gestured to the stool opposite him which I took as an invitation to sit down.

"What you doing?" I asked as I sat down.

"Just workin' out some stuff," Brian said shortly, looking back down at the papers. I could tell he wasn't really in the mood to talk so rather than badger him further I decided to dive straight into my apology. Brian's someone who appreciates straight talking.

"Uh… I just came to find you to say I'm sorry, you know. About earlier. About what I said."

Brian didn't look up.

"Uh huh."

Boy, he was not making this easy for me.

"I didn't mean it," I offered. "And I know it was nasty. I was just upset about Olivia, I guess. And I took it out on you."

Still, Brian didn't say anything. I started to feel irritated. He was being rude and hypocritical. He and Adam had always taught us growing up that if someone apologised, you should accept it graciously.

"And I'm really sorry about Destiny too."

Brian finally looked at me. "Okay."

He was making it abundantly clear that he didn't want me there, and I wasn't used to this kind of treatment from him. I felt uncomfortable and didn't quite know how to handle it.

"I guess I'll go inside now. It being a school night and all," I said as I slid off the stool and stood up.

"Okay. Sleep good."

I gave him a timid smile and then headed to the door and slipped out.

I was about a quarter way toward the house when I heard the shed door creak open and then my name being called.

I turned back. "Yea?"

Brian was standing in the doorway holding the door open with one hand.

"Come on back a second here, would ya?"

I walked back to the shed. When I got there, Brian held the door open for me and then followed me inside. I sat down on the same stool as I'd sat on moments earlier and Brian resumed his place on his own stool.

"I'm sorry, Heidi. I didn't make that easy for you, did I?" Brian said with a rueful smile.

"It's okay."

Brian pursed his lips. He looked deep in thought.

"It's true you know. I think that's why I got so mad."

"What's true?" I asked, confused.

"What you said. About me getting' myself into trouble. Gettin' a girl I barely knew pregnant."

"I really didn't mean what I said, Bri," I repeated. I felt really bad. He looked so vulnerable and I noticed how deep the bags under his eyes looked.

"I know. Doesn't mean it's not true though. I've been lecturin' the boys since day dot to be careful and turns out I'm the one who royally screws up."

"Starr's not a screw up," I said softly.

"I know. I meant-"

"I get it."

Brian nodded and then ran a hand over his face like he does when he's stressed or tired.

"You think she's yours then?" I asked. The way he was talking made it out like he had already accepted that he was Starr's biological father.

"I'm not an idiot, Heidi. The tests will confirm it, but yea. I'm pretty sure she's mine alright."

"I'm so happy she's here, Brian. I love her already. So much. I know that it's terrible about Destiny, but I'll be there for Starr. Always. Whatever she needs."

Brian smiled properly then. "I know. And I'm grateful for your help. I'm just not sure I'm ready to be a father."

I looked at Brian incredulously.

"Are you kidding, Bri. You're already a father! You've been a father for 13 years!"

"Not really. Adam's been the dad around here. I've just been… well I don't know what I've been."

I could not believe my ears.

"Brian, you're kidding, right?"

But he wasn't kidding. I could tell by looking at him how unsure he was. How helpless he looked. Truth be told, it was scaring me. I couldn't ever remember seeing him like that and it made me feel off balance. Adam and Brian were supposed to be invincible.

This past year had been hard on my relationship with my oldest brothers. With everything I had been through and felt, I had pulled away from them. Then, after it all came out, things between me and them got a lot better. I would say that things with Adam had recovered even, most probably because he had made such an effort at spending so much one on one time with me and really drawing out of me how I was feeling. With Brian… well- things were better for sure. I knew that he had completely forgiven me for what had happened that fateful Sunday afternoon and we didn't argue as much, because I was submitting again to his authority. Mostly. But Brian's not a big on discussing his feelings and so I kind of always felt less comfortable with him talking about mine than with my other brothers like Crane or Daniel or Guthrie or even Adam. I felt like the fact that he was opening up to me heralded a grand gesture on my part.

I got up from my stool and walked round the table to where Brian was sitting. Then I threw my arms his neck, which I was able to do because he was sitting down. I hugged him tightly. I think Brian was momentarily stunned, but after a few moments, he put his arms around me and hugged me back.

"You've been a good dad to me, Brian," I said against his shoulder. "You've always been there for me and the boys, looking out for us and taking care of us doing all the little, everyday things. And some of my best childhood memories are with you. Like the time church threw a father/daughter dance and you took me, and we went out for dinner beforehand and then we danced all night. Remember that?"

"Sure," Brian said softly. I felt his arms around me tighten.

"And the time that you came on the fourth-grade trip to the Old Timer's Museum with two other moms. Everyone wanted to be in your group because you were so much fun."

Brian chuckled.

I pulled away so I could see his face.

"I know it's devastating news about Destiny. But you'll be an amazing father to Starr. She's lucky to have you."

I saw Brian's eyes get shiny and blinked rapidly. Then he pinched my cheek lightly and said gruffly, "Thanks, kiddo. Better get inside to bed now since it's a school night."

"Okay," I said. His response had been typically Brian, but I knew that he'd heard me. And I knew things were okay between us again.

As I walked back up to the house I felt better- well about the Brian thing anyhow although anyone could see how hard he was taking this whole situation. The Olivia situation still weighed heavily on my mind. I wondered if I should call her house again and ask if her mom had heard anything.

Adam and Hannah were in the same positions on the couch I'd been when I left. Guthrie was there too now, sprawled with his feet up on one of the other couches, looking like he was finishing up some homework. Starr still lay asleep in her crib, but she'd moved positions so that now she was splayed out like a starfish.

They all took notice of me as I came in through the front door.

"Everything okay?" Adam said, which I knew was his way of asking me if I'd managed to square things with Brian.

I flopped down on opposite end of the same couch as Guthrie.

"Yea."

"Good girl."

"What's Brian doing out there?" Hannah asked.

"I don't know. He was sitting in front of lots of papers. He didn't seem like he wanted to talk about it."

"Maybe you should go out there?" Hannah said, raising her eyebrows at Adam worriedly.

But Adam shook his head. "He's alright, honey. I know Brian like the back of my hand- he needs some time alone just now to work through everythin.'"

He pointed at Guthrie and me.

"It's gettin' about time for you two to be in bed."

"I think I'm going to sleep in Ford's bed tonight. You babble on too much in your sleep." Guthrie said, nudging me lightly in the side with his foot. I could tell he was trying to suss out how irritated I was with him for telling Adam, Brian and Hannah about what was happening with Olivia. I felt like I couldn't be dealing with being out of odds with anyone else so I flicked his foot playfully.

"It didn't used to bother you when we were kids!"

Guthrie shrugged. "I'm a lighter sleeper now."

"I don't think I'm going to be able to sleep. I don't know what's happening with Olivia. Whether she's safe? Or Home? Do you think I should call again to find out what's happening?" I asked, directing my question in Adam and Hannah's direction.

Hannah looked thoughtful.

"Well- if you-"

"I think you should leave it alone tonight," Adam said firmly. "Let her parents handle this now."

Hannah didn't look convinced.

"Hannah, what do you think?" I asked her.

Hannah looked considering for a moment. But then she looked at Adam and then back at me and said, "I agree with Adam, honey. Go take a hot shower- that'll relax you before bed."

I knew what she was doing- providing a united front with Adam. If it was something she felt strongly about, or if she felt like Adam was being unfair, then she would call him out, no problem. Otherwise, she mostly deferred to him when it came to us.

I sighed heavily. "Okay," I said, "But if Violet calls with any update, can you wake me and let me know?"

Adam nodded. "I surely will."

/

According to Adam, Violet didn't call that evening. It was the first thing I asked him when I came downstairs in the morning. Like I'd predicted, it had taken me a while to fall asleep and I woke up a couple of times in the night. Plus, I had that bloated, tired feeling I get a couple of days before my period is due, so I was kind of grumpy in the morning. It meant I was running a bit late that morning and Guthrie left without me to catch the earlier bus because he had a soccer team meeting before school. I managed to get to school on time with a lot of hassling from Adam telling me to get my skates on. But it meant I didn't get to see the girls like I usually would before homeroom and first period. Which was fine with me. I mean, I did want to ask them if they had heard anything about Olivia, but I was also mad, especially with Krista for calling Olivia a 'slut'. And with the other girls for having no loyalty and sitting with Frankie, Wade and Paul like nothing had happened.

I was in my AP history class listening to Mr Humbolt talking about Native American societies when the door opened and a freshman girl who I didn't recognise walked into the classroom and handed Mr Humbolt a note. He was at the board and had to fetch his reading glasses from his desk before reading it. Then, he looked vacantly around the room. I guessed that was because it was the start of the school year, he didn't know us by name yet.

"Heidi McFadden?"

I put up my hand.

"Yea?"

Mr Humbolt's gaze settled on me.

"You're needed in Mrs Schultz's office."

"Uh… okay," I said. I was taken aback. What did the guidance counsellor want with me? I'd seen her a couple of times at the end of freshman year, but not since we'd been back at school. Plus, it was unusual for her to take someone out of class. Normally appointments were made in free periods, lunch or after school.

I quickly packed my things away and slung my backpack over my shoulder.

The girl who had brought in the note was waiting by the door and she followed me out and into the corridor.

"Do you know what this is about?" I asked her.

The girl shook her head, but her eyes were shiny with excitement. I took an instant dislike to her.

"No! But the cops are here. They're waiting in Mrs Schultz's office."

"The cops? What?!" I said, and then before Ms 'I'm loving this drama' could reply, I paced quickly down the hall towards the guidance office. In my head, I thought it was something to do with my family. Perhaps to do with Destiny or Starr and I was panicked. As I approached, I fully expected to see Guthrie there too.

I must have looked crazed with worry when I knocked on Mrs Schultz's door and went inside because the minute, she saw me she said, "Don't worry, Heidi. There's no need to panic."

There were two cops in the room, neither of whom I recognised. They were standing, almost awkwardly it seemed, like neither of them wanted to be there.

"Is this about my family?" I asked. I could hear the panic in my own voice.

Mrs Schultz's brow wrinkled in confusion.

"No. Heidi not at all."

"Then why am I here?"

Mrs Schultz gestured to the cops. "The police, well- and me- would like to have a quick chat with you. About Olivia Bradshaw."