Chapter 2

Alive But Not Alright

At first the rhythmic, monotone beeping were not enough to make her fully snap out of the tranquility that had been her induced sleep, but once it had found its way into her subconsciousness, it slowly began to sink in, to the point where it was impossible to ignore any longer and slip back into blissful unconsciousness. It took a few seconds for the beeping to fill up her head and make her somewhat aware of it, but it rang through her mind clear enough to at least make her eyelids twitch a little, followed by an almost inaudible groan coming out of her throat, said groan being held back by her closed mouth. That's when something else tagged along with the sound of the monotone beeps in an attempt to snap her out of it; an unbearable drought inside her mouth, so void of any kind of moisture that it made her tongue stick to the roof, as if it had been glued there. This added sensation made her emit another groan and she was further pulled out of a slumber that felt like she had been in for what could have been an eternity.

Despite still being halfway there in the process of waking up, she could tell that her head was resting on something soft and her body was covered by a thin fabric. A little less than a minute later, she had regained enough consciousness to make her try and attempt to open her eyes to see where that strange noise was coming from and perhaps look around if there just so happened to be a glass of water nearby to quench the immense thirst that had kicked in earlier. But as soon as she opened her eyes far enough to catch the smallest glimpse of her surroundings, she was greeted by a light above her that despite being not even that bright, it was still enough to make her eyes sting, forcing her to close them once more and emit yet another groan, this one being able to escape past her dry lips that would come dangerously close to splitting if she were to move them right now. She kept her eyes closed for a moment and then tried again. This time, despite them being somewhat sore, she was able to adjust them to the light above her, now able to tolerate it. As her sight slightly sharpened while she managed to keep her eyes open, she came to realize that the source of this mystery light was in fact that of a fluorescent tube attached to an ivory white ceiling above her, faintly flickering every now and then.

This was not the lamp that had been hanging from her bedroom ceiling ever since she had moved into that house on Holland Lane, she knew.

It was only then when she got to realize that the rhythmic beeping that had woken her up to begin with was actually coming from her right, and while her foggy mind still tried to figure out where in the world she was, she turned her head to see what had been making that sound all this time. Her sight by now had sharpened enough to figure out the shape of the box-like object next to her, fitted with a screen where a straight, thin, green light occasionally spiked, and whenever this happened, the machine emitted that same beep, over and over again.

A heart monitor… and that thing next to it, was that… an IV drip? Did this mean that she…?

Oh, dear God.

Reality had now fully kicked in for Cora Jade.

'What…?'

After whispering this, her first reaction to the sudden realization that all this time she had been lying in a hospital bed was to quickly sit up to take a further look at her surroundings, but as soon as she attempted to do so, it felt like a dozen tiny blades embedded on several spots in her sun-kissed body cut through her insides, muscles and tissue, spreading a sharp pain everywhere and knocking her back down to the mattress; Cora was this close to screaming like a banshee and send every nurse in this hospital running towards her room, but she managed to stifle the incoming scream behind her clenched teeth, clenching the fabric of the thin, yellow sheet that covered her aching body so tightly until her knuckles turned pale. As of right now, she had no other choice but to lay down until the pain would subside enough for her to make another attempt to sit up straight, she knew. Maybe there was a button to call in a nurse somewhere near her bed to press on, because you could usually find them there, right? And Cora sure as hell needed a nurse in her room right now, preferably one who could provide her with the right medication to make this agonizing pain stop or at the very least make it more bearable, also with an explanation about what the hell has happened to her and why she was here. Trying to calm herself down and distract herself from the sensation of the something sharp having split apart some parts on the inside, Cora began to breathe in and out through her nose, but even this didn't offer any comfort to her; as soon as her chest was expanding with hospital air, a much bigger imaginary blade wreaked havoc inside it, making it nearly impossible for her to hold back a loud yelp, along with a four-letter word that most people would shut in a moment like this. One of her hands let go of the sheet and grabbed onto the hair on her head instead, long, wavy, dark brown with some sections dyed in black and a slight mess from resting her head on this pillow for what had to be a long period of time. Right on that moment, something on the skin of her arm caught her attention, something that she couldn't remember ever being there… and it made her eyes widen with nothing but pure shock.

Oh yes, there was an explanation of why this arm was hurting just as much as what felt like the rest of her body asides from her legs, and it wasn't because of the needle that connected her to the IV drip inserted into her lower arm (oddly enough, it was upon realizing this that the drought in her mouth began to become more bearable). Staring at her arm, where a small tattoo of a hand with neatly manicured, black fingernails posing in the well-known shaka gesture had been inked on roughly one year ago, three cuts that couldn't be much bigger than four centimeters had sliced open various patches of skin, neatly stitched shut with a thin, black thread. Though they appeared to have been treated, it did hardly anything, if nothing, to take away the pain caused by the deep puncture wounds that laid below these cuts like vicious, tiny monsters lurking beneath a surface; one of these cuts had practically sliced the shaka tattoo in half, severing all of the fingers. Letting out a shuddering breath, Cora forced herself to take a look at her other arm, convinced that it must have sustained the same injuries since it hurt just as bad. She was proven right about this, counting a total of five cuts on this arm, though none of them had done any damage to the tattoos on this part of her body, consisting of a pair of praying hands bound together by a snake and surrounded by various flowers on her upper arm, and a human skull adorned with two different mandala designs on her lower arm. Just like the other wounds, these too had been sewn shut by a black thread.

Then this must also mean that… it only made sense, right? Cora was unsure of how much more horror she was able to take, but she needed to know. Holding the border of the broad, U-shaped line of her baby blue hospital gown, the young woman peeked at the area of her chest, and just like she had expected, one single puncture wound had been inflicted there as well, barely hidden underneath the sticky patches that kept the heart monitor's wires attached to her. But what made this one perhaps even more horrifying to her than all the other ones, was the fact that it was right in the surrounding area of where her heart was located.

Her goddamn heart.

That's when Cora had to let go of the fabric and stare back at the ceiling in order not to freak the hell out. If these wounds were the source of the pain in her arm and chest, then they must be on her stomach area as well… she could try to take a look over there later on when it would subside to some degree, but as of now, she was afraid she was going to lose whatever calmness she had forced herself to muster up to not scream in absolute horror.

She wanted to call in a nurse so badly, there were so many things she needed to ask; she wanted to ask what the hell happened to her, she wanted something to quell the pain, she wanted to ask what was going to happen to her next, and that's why she needed to find that damn button near the bed as soon as possible. Cora tried to swallow, but whatever saliva her mouth was able to produce with the help of the IV drip wasn't going to be near enough to make her throat feel any better, so dry at this point that it started to hurt, feeling like the sides were covered with sandpaper. Despite the trembling caused by the terrifying discovery of the extent of her wounds and sharp jolts traveling through it, she managed to lift her hand over the edge of her bed, slowly lowering it to try and find the button that could offer so much relief to her in so many ways. All her fingertips could touch was nothing but smooth plastic, no shape of what could possibly be a button anywhere in sight.

But as it turned out, Cora didn't need to press any button for anyone to show up in her room, because she could clearly hear footsteps from outside in the hallway get approaching the door, followed by three knocks on said door. It was still too painful for Cora to sit up, so she let her eyes do the work and focused her sight in that direction, praying to God that it was indeed a nurse who had been assigned to check up on her. As soon as the door opened, it turned out that there was yet another rather unpleasant surprise in store for her. Yes, it did turn out to be a nurse after all, most likely in her mid-thirties, short ginger hair and dressed in stainless, purple-bluish scrubs, but it appeared that she wasn't alone. Right after she quickly glanced to see if Ms. Jade was indeed awake, she turned around and gave a nod to two people behind her, walking away and giving them access to come inside, for which she was rewarded with a soft 'thank you' voiced by a man. One of the two mystery guests was a woman in her early 40's, her dark brown hair tied in a low bun and dressed in a blue blouse, a pair of black jeans and high-heeled navy-blue ankle boots, the other an African-American man who clearly was younger than her, wearing a black leather jacket that covered most of his dark red shirt, light brown pants and black shoes. Cora couldn't help but frown in confusion, having never seen these two people before in her life. They then stood in front of her bed, looking right at her, and for some reason, a sense of discomfort developed itself in the pits of Cora's aching stomach.

'Good evening, Ms. Jade.' the woman said, and though her voice didn't indicate anything threatening to some degree, it didn't do much to make Cora feel more comfortable. Quickly glancing to her right, she only noticed now that there was a large window behind the heart rate monitor, offering her a view of the starless night sky. 'How are you feeling?'

Well, that was an easy answer. 'It hurts… everywhere.' the young woman replied.

'I'm sorry to hear about that, I really am, but we need to talk to you. I am Detective Jackson, and this right here is my partner Moore. We are from the Driggs Police Department and we are here to ask you some questions.'

Driggs… so that meant she hadn't been transferred to another town; she was still in a place she was familiar with, thank God. The detectives weren't the only ones in this room who had questions to ask, however.

'What… happened to me?' Cora asked.

'Well, you see, Ms. Jade…' Detective Moore paused for a moment, most likely thinking about how to break this to her in the least distressing way possible. 'We have been informed that only a few hours ago, you have undergone emergency surgery for your injuries as soon as you were brought in here. I know this might be upsetting to hear, but the doctors have counted a total of twelve stabbing wounds on your body upon examination. You are extremely lucky to be alive, Ms. Jade… one of the wounds was just one centimeter away from a major artery of heart.'

Oh God… Cora didn't say a word as she stared at her arms with wide eyes and trembling breath, too horrified to know what to say to this.

'Do you remember what has happened earlier today, Ms. Jade?' Jackson asked. 'Do you have any recollection of who has done this to you?'

Perhaps it may have been the initial confusion of her current predicament upon waking up or maybe even the last bit of anesthetic that had been administered to her a moment before what turned out to be her life-saving surgery, but it all came back to her in the blink of an eye, clear as day, so sudden that it made a heavy chill run up her spine. Oh yes. She knew damn well who had done this to her. The one person who you'd never expect it from, the one person you were supposed to love and trust your life to… it was him. Him and him alone. Cora found it likely that the detectives may have heard stories like these many times before during their careers, some with more grim endings than others, and the statement she was going to present them with right now would surely be the newest addition to their collection of cases like these.

'My fiancé…' Cora said after she lightly nodded; God, it felt so strange to acknowledge Trevor Marsh, the man who she had spend three years of her life with and came to despise during the last half year of their relationship, as her fiancé, but she felt like it was an important detail to give to the detectives. 'Trevor… He… It was him.'

So strange how love can completely blind you when you have found that one person who you're convinced is your soulmate… so blind that you're even willing to ignore your partner's most obnoxious, negative trait, thinking that it's simply a mere downside to their personality. Because after all, nobody is perfect, right? Well, as it turned out, Trevor turned out to be exactly that throughout their relationship, to the worst extent possible, roughly one month after they had moved in together in their house on Holland Lane. No, he wasn't physically abusive. No, he had never cheated on her. He was completely inept when it came to handling their finances, as Cora soon got to realize. Being young and wanting to believe that everything Trevor told her must have been right or justified, Cora was soon convinced by her boyfriend that there was no need for her to look for a job to support themselves, telling her that their situation would already be good enough if he was the one working and she was the one staying at home to play the role as the housewife. Cora had been fine with that at first, but during the past six months, she had the suspicion that Trevor had told her this to prevent her from broadening her social life. Their sole source of income was Trevor's job at Driggs' local supermarket, working the daytime shift. At first it looked like their financial situation was not all too bad; sure, not much would be left by the end of the month, but it was still enough to pay all of the bills, buy food and the occasional repair to household appliances. But it didn't take long before the first cracks started to appear.

'I was so tired of it all.' Cora said. 'We didn't have much money at all, yet he wasted so much of it. Video games, brand clothing, new consoles, you name it… Almost every single month, he found ways to unnecessarily spend money. We could barely pay the bills at times because of that. I had turned a blind eye to it in the beginning, but I couldn't ignore it much longer, figuring that it wasn't going to change. I was so sick of having to eat lukewarm noodles for dinner for days on end, I was so sick of staring at the ceiling in the dead of night wondering how the hell we could possibly pay the rent the next day… but each time I confronted him with it, it always ended up in a shouting match. I was being the whiny bitch, I was the selfish one for not letting him have a hobby, I was being cheap for not letting him splurge every once in a while… Even after we got engaged, it didn't get any better. And so, I was planning on getting out of there…'

'How exactly, Ms. Jade?' Jackson asked.

'I started stashing money away.' Cora said, hoping to everything holy that she would be believed, because she was telling nothing else but the truth right now. 'Small amounts, so he wouldn't notice. I was hoping that I could eventually save up enough to get out and get a place for my own. But then he…'

He did find out about it; on the very night where Cora would eventually end up in the hospital, in fact. She had been hiding the money away in a shoebox, which she would cover up with a pile of clothing on the bottom of the bedroom closet. Turned out that he was looking for a pair of expensive brand shoes he had only worn three or four times after purchasing them and had thought he must have tossed them in the wardrobe after the last time he had worn them… and after some digging on the bottom, it wasn't a pair of red Air Jordans that he found in that shoebox.

Cora told the detectives about how Trevor had absolutely lost his shit. He had tossed the box right in front of Cora while she was in the progress of cooking tonight's dinner, which consisted of fish sticks and pasta, and seeing the dollar bills float across the kitchen's floor made her heart sink to her feet in an instant. She remembered her fiancé roughly grabbing her by her shirt and started screaming in her face about how much of a sneaky bitch she was for doing this and how she could have done something like this to him, after all that he had done for her during these past years, sending small droplets of spits flying to her face while doing so. It was on that moment where Cora Jade became genuinely afraid of the man she had once loved so much. She had never seen him this enraged before, not even during their previous arguments, screaming and shouting at her with so much venom and hate… but the fear thankfully quickly turned into justified anger, and she retaliated by telling him how awful he was at handling money, that it was his fault that their finances were such a fucking mess and she wanted to leave him. She didn't care where she would end up, as long as it was far away from him. Right after making that statement, Cora clearly remembered storming out of the kitchen and running upstairs, heading straight towards their bedroom. She also clearly remembered pulling a dust-covered suitcase from underneath their bed, opening it and tossing whatever pieces of clothing she could find into it. All she needed now was a few more items from the bathroom and downstairs, so she had turned around and…

'That's when I felt something hard being punched into my stomach.' Cora said. 'At first I thought I had been punched with a fist, but it felt so cold, hard and it hurt too much to be just that…'

Looking down in sheer horror on the moment, Cora Jade quickly realized that she had, in fact, been stabbed with the butcher knife they kept in one of the kitchen's drawers. And the perpetrator was someone who she had never imagined being capable of doing this. The fear instantly returned, overlapping the sharp pain, when her eyes met Trevor's, which always had this shade of grey, but now that he had been completely engulfed with rage, they looked pitch black. Like looking into the eyes of a demon… a furious demon that was out for blood, she now suddenly thought in her hospital bed, and that thought made her skin turn ice cold. Was all of this too shocking or painful to scream? Cora believed so, given that she hadn't screamed on that moment. She had stood there in the doorway, completely frozen in her tracks, staring at Trevor who had been holding the knife this whole time. Just when he felt him pull out, something inside her told her, no, screamed at her to do something, and that's what she did. Without ever emitting something that came close to a scream, only gasps and yelps, Cora tried her hardest to defend herself from the incoming flurry of attacks, shielding herself with her arms and trying to hold them up despite the pain being inflicted on them, suffering new cuts and stab wounds as seconds passed. It seemed like there was no end to Trevor's sudden burst of murderous rage, continuing to attack her like a wild savage; after piercing her right arm with the blade, he had caused enough pain for her to lower her arms, and it was then when his next attack was aimed at her chest... right on the spot where her heart was located. It should have been that wound that would have sealed Cora Jade's harrowing fate, but some way, somehow, he had missed that one artery. Cora's bloodied arms were then raised once more, but not to shield her body.

'I pushed him away.' Cora's voice had noticeably softened when she said this. 'I didn't realize that the stairs were behind him. I just wanted him to go away, I swear…'

Heavy thumping followed as Trevor tumbled down the stairs, leaving the knife behind on the second to last step at the very top. Then there was this sickening sound of something cracking when he reached the bottom… and that's when everything went quiet.

From that moment on, everything sort of became a blur, she told them. There were only a few things Cora could remember, in the following sequence; her glancing down at the floor and seeing that not only her clothes, but also the laminate flooring was entirely drenched in blood, the lightheadedness she felt when she walked down the stairs while clinging onto the railing for dear life, being forced to crawl to the kitchen where she had left her cellphone on the kitchen counter before she had started preparing dinner, the near impossibility of pressing the numbers on the screen due to her fingers being slippery from the blood, the calm voice of the female 9-1-1 operator to ask her what her emergency was… after all, everything around her went black.

'Did they find Trevor too?' Cora asked. 'Is… Is he okay?'

Detective Jackson and Moore quietly exchanged glances, as if they were discussing who should break the news to her first without words, and it was this quietness that deeply unsettled Cora.

'I'm sorry to tell you this, but…' Moore paused for a brief moment before the reveal. 'Trevor is dead. He had broken his neck.'

What…? Cora glanced down at her hands, overwhelmed by disbelief. Tears instantly welled up in the corners of her eyes, to the point where they spilled over her lower eyelids and trickle down her cheeks. These were however not the tears for someone she had deeply loved, no, she had stopped loving that irresponsible excuse of a man a long time ago, but still… she never wanted him dead, not ever, no matter how much he had gaslighted her during her arguments.

She… She did this.

She had killed him.

'I… I didn't mean to!' she sobbed while looking right back at the detectives, shaking her head and coming dangerously close to breaking down in hysterics. 'I didn't mean to kill him! I just wanted him to get away from me! Please, you have to believe me!'

'Calm down, Ms. Jade…' Moore replied, the tone in his voice being good enough to some degree for Cora to regain a bit of calmness, but not much. 'Look, we have reason to believe your story. For now, it can be assumed that you have indeed handled in self-defense, your injuries line up with this claim. But this doesn't mean we're letting you off the hook just yet. We have to investigate the crime scene for the time to come and it will be the evidence that will declare whether your story is true or not. You can expect us to show up for further questioning in the future. Until then… try to rest as much as you can, okay? You're going to need it.'

'Y-Yes…'

'Thank you for your time. Goodnight, Ms. Jade.' Detective Jackson gave her partner a brief nod, which appeared to be the cue for them to walk away from her bed, exit the room and close the door behind them.

All that Cora could do was to turn her head away and softly sob.