Chapter 6 – Day 4
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
Note: Still alive…. Please don't throw too many tomatoes at me for taking so long to update this. Life has been unreasonable and I've had the worst writer's block. This chapter might be either too short or too long depending on your own feelings but hey, it's something right? As usual please review and let me know what you think. Even if it is that you want more, more frequently. The push can't hurt. :-D
~Luna
Hinata made it to her room before the tears started, legs wobbly and chest aching. She closed her door with her usual quiet and then slid down to sit with her back against the wood. Knees pulled tight to her chest and arms resting at her sides. She could feel the warm stream of tears slipping past her closed lids and sticking her lashes together. Three days into this and she was already in over her head. In love and hurting, something she thought she was past. Years of unrequited love should have hardened her to this, and the battle of Pein was supposed to have been her confession and release. Yet here she sat crying and wishing with all she had that anyone other than Naruto had been assigned this mission.
Training or not, she couldn't separate her feelings from her actions in this case. Her success in her seduction missions, which rarely actually led to sex, had been her ability to draw her target in and convince them she wanted them and would do anything they wanted of her including keeping secrets and helping with illegal activities. Or simply remaining with them allowing no distractions to come between her and those she needed to use. It wasn't her favorite type of mission, not by far and she would have happily never done another. But, she was kunoichi, Konoha shinobi and she would do what was needed for her village. Even it seemed break her own heart. Having given her heart to Naruto in childhood it had never been in danger before. Not a single mission had touched her, not that way.
Hinata allowed herself a few more minutes to sit and let the tears fall and then fade away. She pulled herself back together and rose from the floor, eyes still closed. Brushing tears away and moving with a slight sway she changed her clothes and sank into her futon hoping for dreamless sleep and relief.
Her hope was unanswered.
The next morning dawned too early with sun shining in her eyes and waking her from restless sleep. Hinata's eyes felt swollen which of course would not do. She had several meetings for clan business this morning including a meeting with her father to discuss her new responsibilities as clan heir. All of which had to be worked around her new mission and training.
She rose steadily, her normal composure back. She used a slight brush of medical chakra to lessen the swelling and washed the remaining traces of her lapse the night before from her face before dressing in her usual clothes and exiting her room. Hanabi would be waiting for her at breakfast in the common room of their portion of the compound and she didn't want to be late.
Of late she and her sister had developed a much closer relationship, one that was built on them being opposites in personality and fighting style. Hanabi was as the heir should be in her abilities and a true genius with the byakugan. Hanabi was outgoing and harsh, where Hinata was introverted and soft spoken. Hanabi had taken to protecting her big sister, daring others to speak against her and often getting into fights. Hinata loved her with everything she had and would have gladly sacrificed herself for her sister.
Breakfast was quiet but comfortable and Hinata felt Hanabi watching her but Hanabi never broached the subject of what might be on Hinata's mind. When they were both finished eating Hanabi left for training with her chunin team. Hinata moved to her father's study and waited quietly kneeling outside the door. When Hiashi called her name she slid the door open, moved into the room and slid the door shut behind her before bowing low enough for her forehead to touch the floor. "Good morning Father" she remained that way until Hiashi responded. "Good morning Daughter", his opaque eyes were clear and cool as always and while Hinata knew her father was capable of deep emotion she also recognized the same reserve she'd seen in him all her life. She took no offense and after rising to her full kneeling height she waited for him to begin the meeting.
"Your current mission concerns me" was not the first thing she thought she would hear and it brought her mind to a pin point focus. She met eyes with him and waited for him to continue, resisting the urge to ask questions. Hiashi surprised her again by looking away. "I know we do not speak of emotion often, but this situation I feel necessitates my intervention. Would you like me to intercede on your behalf with the Hokage and have you reassigned or removed from this mission?" Hinata blinked owlishly at her father and then looked down at the floor, face heating in a way that ashamed her. It was no secret that the village was very aware of her infatuation with Naruto, or for how long she had felt that way. She felt her father's words as a censure to her control and ability as a shinobi, made all the worse because of her own thoughts the night before.
She took a shallow breath and steeled herself to answer, mouth opening with all the intention of gracefully turning him down. No words came, her mind for just a split-second warring with her heart which desperately wanted to take the out her father offered. Closing her mouth and in a small show of weakness wetting her lips she tried again. "No thank you Father" she kept her eyes down on the floor and said no more than that. And it was all that Hiashi seemed to need, he said no more about it. Instead he moved on to the new duties he wanted her to take over, including diplomatic entreaty to the daughter of another house in another village. Hinata listened intently and memorized all the information her father laid out, making plans as he went for how she would complete her duties and or delegate them as needed during her hopefully short absence during her mission.
Still, in the back of her mind she cringed and couldn't help dreading at least in a small way the training she would have to continue with Naruto in a few short hours.
Clan business complete Hinata headed to the training ground, a bit early but hoping to use the time to mediate and calm herself before Naruto arrived. Again, her hope went unanswered. As she dropped silently from the trees to the ground, not even air stirring around her feet, she saw a shadow flickering deeper in the shade of the leaves. Naruto was working through a kata, body coiling and spinning, flexing and pulling back. Fists alternatively clenching for a punch or open and slashing. Blonde hair catching the sun as he moving fluidly through a routine that she didn't recognize. She held her chakra in, not 'announcing' her presence but sure he'd felt her approach before she dropped from the limbs. He was relaxed in his movements and also focused in the power and strength he used as he moved and against her will she found herself smiling. Body warming in appreciation of the movement, she didn't resist. Time to stop fighting her reactions, they would only help move the training along and it was time to take the safeties off. They only had a few more days before they had to leave and travel to the Land of Water. A few more days to develop the physical closeness that only existed between people mutually attracted to each other.
As Naruto slowed and began the cool down moves that would allow his muscle memory to settle and release his nerves to more restful activities Hinata moved forward slowly. She let her byakugan read his chakra, a sprinkling of light through his chakra points. She didn't fully activate her ability but let the latent knowledge that always came to her fill her mind. He had strained the muscle of his right thigh, the chakra there knotted to compensate. His neck was a jumble of crossing pathways that lit the top of his spine, a reaction to the acute use of his brain ordering his body through the routine.
Naruto stopped moving, eyes opening as she came up beside him. His foxy grin spreading across his face and easy nature forefront. Hinata lifted her hand slowly from her side, Naruto dipped his head expecting her to brush her fingers along his cheek. She watched his eyes widen and upper body tense as her hand landed on his thigh over the gnarled chakra of his pulled muscle. She pressed several points and let her chakra slide gently over the muscle easing the tightness and ache that would only now be settling in and registering in his mind. "Whoa" Naruto breathed out on a sigh as the muscle relaxed all at once. His hands came up to land on her slim shoulders, tightening briefly. Blue eyes sparked for a second with the awareness that had risen the night before while they were dancing.
Hinata let her hand slide up his thigh, on the outside, to his hip. Curving around to the small of his back to rest there. She stepped into him and brought her other hand up to his neck, easing the chakra pathways there as well as she lay her head against his chest. It was an undeniably intimate position and action, her chakra mixing with his to flow through his whole system, taking just a bit of his into her. Her body warmed more. Naruto dropped his hands from her shoulders to her waist, long fingers curving around and behind her and pulling just enough to create a tension there.
Hinata took a breath before pulling back, though his grip on her waist only allowed her upper body to move. She turned her face to his, lifting so the angle would be right and brushed her lips over his, once then again. Pale eyes watching blue she pressed more firmly and then slipped her tongue out to brush his lower lip. Naruto jolted as if shocked, body going tight and the muscles of his neck and back bunching under her hands. And there is was, the answer she needed. The knowledge sparked through her, creating pleasure and pain. Sexual awareness was not love, and her emotions were too close. But she recognized that it was her fear holding this back now, that there had been several times over the past days and possibly the many months since her confession that might have hinted at the awareness on Naruto's part. She'd convinced herself that it wasn't anything, that it never would be because she had needed that. A set barrier to everything but friendship because anything less than love hurt.
Her father's acknowledgment of her weakness in relation to the man she was currently pressed too brought out the will she'd honed over the years, following Naruto's example. This was a mission and she was shinobi, she would do her duty and see this through. When she shattered at the end, she would just have to pick up the pieces.
She pressed her mouth back to his, slanting her head to deepen the kiss. His lips parted for her and she dipped her tongue in. Gliding along his and back out, a tease. Hinata watched as Naruto's eyes closed, felt his fingers tighten on her waist and then slide around and up so that one hand threaded through her hair at the base of her neck, gripping lightly and pulling her head back for a better angle of his own. She closed her eyes as well and let him in.
Hinata couldn't remember moving over to their tree, or when her mind had started to see that particular tree as theirs but they were there. Naruto was leaning back against it while she leaned on his chest. They were still kissing and she knew her lips would be bruised, just slightly, by the kisses. Their hands were still, his still resting on her waist. Hers helped her to hold the awkward position over him by resting one to the side of his hip the other holding his waist as well. She didn't know how much time had gone by, just enjoyed the heat coming off of him.
He was the one who pulled away first. Breaking the contact of their mouths and turning his head just enough when she moved forward to chase him that his mouth was out of reach. She pulled back as well and shifted, bringing herself up and away from him. Coming to her knees she felt his hands slip away from her waist.
"Hi" Naruto said quietly, and Hinata realized she hadn't said a word to him. Flushing and looking away she murmured a quiet "Hello". Naruto reached out and brushed his fingers over the warm skin of her cheek, started to say something and then stopped. Hinata mentally kicked herself, she'd made things awkward. "I apologize, I should have asked before I…" she trailed off and then looked up quickly at Naruto's quiet huff of laughter. "It's fine Hinata-chan. It's part of the training, we need to be able to touch and…more, without asking permission at every step. And it was a good step forward, we only have so much time." Hinata recognized the hesitation before he'd said "more" as a new reticence in talking about the acts they would have to perform, not a good thing. A step back when they had been moving forward so well, and all because she'd let her emotions or her want to succeed despite her emotions push them both to something that they hadn't been ready for.
"Gomen, Naruto-kun, but it was not right. We were moving slowly and I skipped a step. Whether I asked or not is admittedly a non-issue, but I'm made you uncomfortable." She hesitated before reaching out to touch her finger tips lightly to the to top of his hand in apology. He turned his palm over and brushed his fingers over her palm in acceptance. "It's alright, really! I was just caught off guard, I didn't mind and I mean it when I say I took it as the next step in our training." His foxy grin was back in place and he caught her hand and pulled just a little, sending her off balance toward him enough that she allowed him guide her back to him. He tilted his head and brushed a light kiss on the corner of her mouth and then helped her settle into his side as they had done what had only been a day before.
The rest of the afternoon passed with them sitting silently together. Reestablishing their ease in each other's presence and more than once Hinata's cheeks heated thinking of their kisses. She kept her head turned just slightly away from him and her hair hanging as a curtain between them. When it was time for her to leave, she murmured her apologies and rose. Still not looking at him. Naruto didn't let her escape. He rose with her and caught her hand, pulling her back around and sliding his hand behind her neck to guide her head back again. Something she was being to recognize as a move natural to him and one that he liked, guiding her to look at him. He leant down and caught her mouth with his, a deep kiss. Mouths sealed but no less strong and effective. She sighed into it and let her body sway to his. He accepted her weight and slid his other arm around her waist. This kiss wasn't long but it did what sitting quietly hadn't quite accomplished. It brought them back to an even keel, at least as far as the training went. When Naruto pulled back he spoke quietly "Will I see you tonight?". Hinata nodded, "Meet me at sundown at the monument, wear civilian clothes. We will go to dinner." Hinata didn't miss the fact that she had begun to lead the training and had stopped asking him what he wanted, such as if he wanted to meet at sundown for dinner. They also needed to develop this part of their mission, her control, his acceptance of her control. "I'll see you then" was all he said in return, then he released her and stepped back. Foxy grin in place, blue eyes squinted closed he brought his hand up in a brief wave before turning to leap for the branches above them.
Hinata watched his shadow fade and thought of heading to the compound. It was an unappealing idea. She found her feet moving, gathering speed and heading for the village proper instead. Hinata landed lightly on a railing of the second story apartment building Ino had moved into half a year before. She dropped from the railing and made her way to Ino's door, knocked and waited.
Ino answered almost a minute later, wearing a long robe, hair hanging loose of her usual pony tail and eyes heavy lidded. "Oh no, I've woken you" Hinata stuttered out quickly, hands coming up in apology in front of her chest. "It's fine, needed to get up anyway. Come in Hina" Ino shrugged and turned walking into the apartment and flipping a light on as she went. The shades were pulled against the late afternoon sun and she didn't seem inclined to open them. Hinata stepped in and pulled the door closed behind her, slipping out of her sandals as she went. "Tea?" she heard Ino call from the small kitchen around the corner from her small sitting room. "Hai, thank you" Hinata called back and went to settle on the comfortable couch against the far wall. Ino returned shortly after with a steaming pot of water and tea leaves in two holders by cups. She set both holders in the cups, poured the water and then sat down to give Hinata her full attention. "What happened?" she asked with her usual directness. "I…We, well, we progressed to kissing." Hinata managed to get out as her face flamed red and her hands knit her lap. "I initiated it, I didn't even say hello first. He was training, I should have said hello. I should have asked, I just…I didn't think." Ino reached out to catch at her hands, pulling one free and running her thumb over Hinata's fingers, "It's okay Hina, it's about time you did something without thinking. And Naruto's so dense, he'll think it was all for the mission and you know how he is. He trains to the point of dropping if he has to learn something quickly. The pace you've had before this probably seems glacial to him and he's been holding back for your sake, to make sure you're comfortable. Now that he knows for sure you want to move quicker, he'll likely pick up the pace to match or push a little more on his end. So, I don't think you have anything to worry about." Ino's eyes were kind and gentle, which only made it worse. Hinata popped off the couch in a burst of nervous energy and began to pace, something she would never have allowed herself to do in front of anyone but Ino.
"That's what I'm worried about." She brought her hands up, wringing her fingers again and biting her lower lip. Her anxiety was a physical sensation crawling over her skin. "I wanted to put my feelings aside, they get in the way. I wanted to move us forward at a quicker pace but now I'm not sure that's the best thing to do." Ino listened, and watched. After a few minutes, Hinata had paced the worst of the feeling away and sat back down. Ino reached out and brushed Hinata's shoulder. "It will be okay. I promise, in the end I'll be here to help you and it will be okay. I know this is scary but you're stronger than you give yourself credit for. Just breathe and see this through." Hinata nodded slowly, head hanging on the end of her neck. They sat in silence for awhile, tea untouched, until Ino yawned lightly and Hinata again felt bad for intruding when her friend needed to rest. "I should let you rest, and I need to change to meet Naruto in an hour. Thank you Ino-chan" Hinata rose from the couch and moved to slide her sandals on. Ino was behind her opening the door and waiting as Hinata moved through the portal. "Of course, Hina, anytime." It was said with a small smile and Hinata smiled back. Then she turned and moved to the railing. Propelling herself up and over to land on the group below, she began to walk. She heard the door close behind her. It was a fifteen-minute walk to the compound and she wanted to use the time to think of what she would wear and shore up her defenses.