V: À propos de la fille aux cheveux bleus
Adele, aided by the wine, recounted her love affair with Emma, the blue haired love of her life.
'I first saw her when we were still at school, I was crossing the road and saw her as we walked past each other. I couldn't get her out of my head ever since that moment. Then once I went out clubbing with my gay friend Valentin - remember him? — but I got bored so wandered in to another club across the street and it was a lesbian bar. Emma, the blue haired girl, rescued me from a dyke who was flirting with me. We hit it off right away. She was smart, beautiful, so cool. Everything about her lit a flame inside my soul. After that initial meeting, she surprised me by coming to our school and waiting for me outside. I'm sure you remember that afternoon? I went off with her and she took me to a park not so far away. The sun was shining through the leaves on the tree branches, we just lay on the grass and talked and talked. She was fascinating. She drew a sketch of me in pencil. That was the first one of many. We ended up kissing', Adele said dreamily and Beatrice could tell she still had not gotten over it.
'We soon became lovers and no one before or since has come anywhere close to satisfying me sexually like she did. It was sex as spiritual nirvana. For both of us. We pored all our all-consuming love into each other's bodies. We were lovers! She introduced me to her family as her lover but I couldn't do the same as my parents are homophobic. I said she was a friend and tutor. Eventually they found out and kicked me out. Just after I graduated high school. I moved in with her whilst I was doing my degree in education. We lived together for years. She did her art work, I taught kindergarten. She was away a lot with her artistic circle and I eventually got bored. I cheated on her with a colleague from work. She found out about it and kicked me out after a terrible row. It was the worst moment of my life. I still have nightmares about it.
I fell apart completely and was on antidepressants for ages. We met up one more time about three years later— in this exact restaurant—where she told me that she no longer loved me though I still loved her. After that, I saw her one more time at an art exhibition of her work to which she had invited me not long after the meeting in this restaurant. I realised then that she really had moved on and left after a few minutes. I haven't seen or heard from her since. I even stopped checking the newspaper culture sections as a result as I didn't want to accidentally read about her. I buried all my energies into my career instead since then,' Adele finished. She hadn't realised but she was crying silently. It was the first time she had ever spoken to another person about her life with Emma.
Beatrice held her hand and looked at her. She took out some tissues from her handbag and offered them to Adele who wiped her tears away and forced a weak smile. There was an awkward silence for a while and then Beatrice spoke.
'Adele',she said. 'I'm so sorry. I am also envious. What you have experienced is very rare and very precious: true love. Most people go through their whole lives wishing for such an all consuming love. ' She then asked, 'What was her name?
'Emma' said Adele.
'Her full name?'
'Emma Clementine' answered Adele.
'Oh I see,' said Beatrice who was also a bit drunk by now. 'I read something about her in Le Monde yesterday. Let me see ', she said checking the contents of her handbag, 'No. it's not here. I though I had it but I must have left it at school on my desk. I'll show you at work.' They had one more drink and then decided to call it quits for the night with Beatrice driving her home. Both a bit tipsy, they kissed each other, then both blushed and turned away quickly at the same time. Adele rushed out of the car.
A few days later Adele was sitting on the school steps again during a free period smoking a cigarette when she heard a voice.' Hey Adele, still checking out asses?
It was Beatrice. They both grinned and then, when, by mere coincidence a student wallked past and they both caught themselves checking her out, giggled at the same time. 'I brought that paper I was talking about last time. Sorry I forgot before, I've been super busy at work.'
'Yeh no problem' said Adele. 'It's been crazy!'
Beatrice became serious and hesitated before giving Adele the dated newspaper. Beatrice looked at the large format paper and scanned the page until her eyes caught site of the following article:
Rising Star of Parisian Art World Separates From Long Time Partner.
Emma Clementine, speaking to reporters outside the Tate Modern in London, where she now lives, and appeared at the opening of her first photography exhibition dedicated to her life so far entitled 'All or Nothing' confirmed that the persistent rumours of her separating from her partner of ten years were true. She added that the couple had agreed that it was better for both of them to separate and focus on their careers. The relationship, a source who wishes to remain anonymous told this paper earlier, was strained ever since the tragic death of their daughter although they remain on good terms. The exhibition opens on Monday to the general public and is well worth a visit. Emma, who is one of those rare artists now famous enough to be known by just her first name only, also revealed that she has written her first novel which will be available in French from early next year and an English translation is expected to be published by the following Christmas. 'I am translating it myself', the artist revealed and...my English is still quite poor!' When asked what it will be about Emma just winked and said to buy the book. What is the title? La Vie d'Adele.
Above the short paragraph of text was a photo of Emma inside the Tate Modern standing next to a black and white photograph of a young, nude, girl reclining on an unkept bed with crumpled bedsheets with one hand covering her face. It was captioned: the first cut is the deepest.
Over the course of the remainder of this semester Beatrice and Adele became friends and then, shortly after their 4th date, lovers. From the beginning it was more of a physical relationship than anything else and they kept it an open relationship by mutually agreement, almost like friends with benefits. Beatrice was kind and funny, not as intellectual as Emma had been, more down to earth but with a passionate streak too but a controlled passion. She was also not jealous unlike Emma. She made Adele feel relaxed and at peace with herself. They both occasionally took other lovers, but would come back and describe the lovemaking to each other. They jokingly called it the Sartre-Beauvoir Model. They hadn't yet moved in together though when a poster on the underground reminded Adele one day that Emma's novel was being released on 2nd January. It was still the school holiday's and though they had celebrated Christmas together, Beatrice had already planned to spend the New Year in Tunisia with her family in Hammamet.
Thus it was that Adele woke up earlier than usual on this Saturday morning and walked into the city centre where she entered the largest bookshop in the city. In the shop windows she found a whole section dedicated to Emma's book with it being displayed prominently in the shop windows. The cover showed a representation of one of her own oil paintings of a nude reclining on a sofa. She entered the bookshop with growing trepidation and picked up one copy of the book from one of the piles on the nearest table top and walking to the nearest sofa, sat down and began to read.
She opened the hard-covered novel and read the dedication on the first page: 'I would like to dedicate this book to my parents who gave me the freedom to be who I wanted to be and for giving me good taste. Merci, Mama. Merci, Papa. I would like to dedicate this to Lise and Aude who have been an essential part of my growth and my life. Above all, I would like to dedicate this book to Adele. Adele, je t'aime. Je t'ai toujours aimé.'
With tears floating in her eyes already and her chest constricted Adele began to read.
'I first saw Adele when I was crossing the road with my girlfriend, Lise, using the zebra crossing. She stared at me and my blue hair and I smiled back at her. The second time I saw Adele was in a lesbian bar. I was there with my friends just having fun when I caught her staring at me again from the corner of my eye...'
Adele read the first chapter straight through barely remembering to take a breath. She took it to the counter and bought it, reading it as she walked home, almost getting run over once. She had finished three more chapters by the time she got home. She finished the book the same night and it ended with the following words:
'I saw from the corner of my eye, whilst talking to another art dealer interested in buying one of my nudes of her, that Adele was leaving my first gallery exhibition without saying goodbye. A few moments later I saw the Maghrebi guy run after her. It was the last time I ever saw her but I have never stopped thinking about her. I will always have an infinite tenderness for her.
A few days later the neighbours of Adele noticed a smell coming from her apartment and when she would not open the door they called the police. They found her lying in a full bath with her wrists slit, having bled to death, the soggy copy of La Vie d'Emma on her chest.