To Hell with Spongebob. Seriously to hell with Spongebob.

Those stupid awards at the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards might as well be permanently engraved to that square pantsed manchild. A joke like the Oscars... The Loud House never has a chance it seems; before you point out that the Loud House has gone downhill in quality then that never stopped Spongebob. Not like the show's producers deserve it; those NIck higher ups waited until Stephen Hillenburg died to desecrate his memory with two spin offs one of which included that pink stupid starfish as the lead when in the original show he has become such an irredeemable selfish jerk.

Back on track; name's Lincoln Loud and when I was a kid I was out at night kicked out of my home because of 'bad luck' and yes before you groan and say that the No Such Luck fics are done to death, I just want to point out has anyone ever put a gun to your heard and forced you to read them? No? Then whether or not it's been milked dry; you don't like reading them then just skip them!

Simple as that.

Anyway I was caught by a secret government agency where they experimented on me with serums and chemics; I gained a healing factor so advanced that I can regrow lost limbs as well as the knowledge of skills form several sword masters. I escaped and assumed the mantle of Deadpool.

Yep; you would have thought this premise would have been used by fanfic writers before. Hello, two characters who talk to you the audience... Need I say more?

So yes; I Lincoln Loud am Deadpool in this universe without the actual Marvel heroes in this universe. Under this mask; I am not a guy who starred in a Netflix movie with the Rock and Wonder Woman where it plugged his liquor company. Plus he also spoiled without warning Game of Thrones in the Hobbs & Shaw movie.

Anyway I am now a mercenary with a code of honor; I only go after people who deserve it. Anyway today I was kicked out of my latest apartment; the landlord was less tolerant of the smell of fresh blood and the trails from open wounds. "Do you know who you are on the bad side of? I am the heir to a Dukeship in Scotland! Plus you should know that I left a surprise in the toilets! I hope you die on the toilet feeling the effects of some nasty spicy tacos! I will come to your funeral to take a dump on your grave!" I shouted up at the window where the landlord stayed after I left the front door with my stuff, I had plans to contact my pal Blind Al for a new place to stay.

The guy showed a certain finger and to use another Nick reference; you can't do that on television...

"You are a hard person to find Lincoln; Lisa had been looking up leads for months and we have seen the reports. I don't want to believe that this is the road that my baby brother went down with all the dead bodies." I heard and turned around to see the much older Luna who looked serious and a deeply saddened Leni; first time I had seen them in a decade...

Luna's band was taken off and Leni was doing well in fashion; didn't hurt to look up.

"I guess that my bad luck stuck with me then Luna." I told them and I smirked underneath my mask as their wincing was the desired outcome of my phrasing it like that. "Nice seeing you but I better head off; I had a contract to kill some zombie presidents..." I told them but Leni embraced me taking me offguard.

"Linky; please! We had been trying to find you for years! We realised that we were idiots in no time and it has been disenheartening having our only brother no longer with us, nothing had been the same! Finding out that you were that scary Deadpool person; we were so cared of what you had become! Come back to Royal Woods; we can like totally fix things!" Leni told me between tears but I pushed her off.

"You were scared Leni? How did you think I felt having to sleep outside as a kid thinking that my family no longer wanted me around! Being kidnapped and being pumped through with chemicals by bad guys; noticing the bodies of other kdis who weren't luck enough to survive all this experimentation!" I shouted at her with more of her tears falling and a look of guilt on their faces.

"Brah; I am sorry that I wasn't able to protect you as I should have... You have to let us start over; you know sooner or later the law will be catching up to you! We could help you..." Luna said as if the infamous Loud sisters with their records do anything against a manhunt for Deadpool.

"Luna Loud playing the role of Lincoln's chosen guardian like other fics. You have not been above threatening me yourself or playing along with your sisters! You know I am going to ask my only friend from my childhood home if I should forgive you all!" I shouted as I picked up Bun-Bun from my box and had him shook his head. "What do you know!" I said but then Luna looked serious and tried to tackle me.

Super powered mercenary V rocker?

How else was it going to end?

I subdued them both as I went on my way; "You know that we are not going to stop coming for you Lincoln! All of us including Lori and Lynn!" Luna shotued and I scoffed; the kid that was no match against those two was long dead.

I picked up my phone to call a certain friend that I had secretly been in contact with all of this time who was surprisingly good at keeping this a secret.

"Clyde? Listen; I was just leaving my old place when I ran into Leni and Luna. They were no trouble but can you please keep an eye on what the rest could be up to please? The ones still in Royal Woods? Thanks Pal!" I said as I made my way to call for a taxi; to get to Blind Al's place.