I am so sorry! I am the worst! I keep missing update dates! I'm so sorry! This time of year is just so busy for me! I really hope I will be able to update on time this week, if not, I am so sorry!

Thank you so much for all the support on this story!

This chapter is based in season five when everyone was in the Underworld. The first scene takes place after the Captain Swan kiss in 5x15: "The Brothers Jones."

I do not own OUAT or its characters.

Save Myself

Emma smiled as she set her hand on the back of Killian's neck.

He placed his hand on her lower back and breathed her in. He couldn't believe that he ever thought about not going home. If he had the choice, he would've gotten Emma and her family out of the Underworld right after Emma saved him; but then Liam came and he convinced Killian that he didn't need to go back to Storybrooke to be happy. Truth is, Killian would never forgive himself if he was the reason Emma never had the life she deserved. He knew now, though, that he was going to do everything in his power to get Emma home. To keep her safe.

"Hey, are you okay?" Emma asked.

Killian opened his eyes. He hadn't even noticed that Emma pulled her head away from him. He nodded. "Aye."

Emma tilted her head a little bit to the left. "Killian…"

Killian kissed her temple. "Trust me, love. I'm just a little shaken up about Liam."

Emma's features softened. They changed from worry to comforting. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It's not your fault."

"I should've been there. I could've helped save him."

Killian shook his head. "He saved himself. He sacrificed himself, and now he finally moved on."

Emma smiled softly. She looked down for a moment, worry filling her mind.

"What is it, Emma?" Killian asked.

Emma looked up at him. "Nothing."

Killian raised an eyebrow. He knew he shouldn't push her, so he just nodded. "Alright, love. If you say so."

Emma smiled at him. "Let's go find everyone else."

Killian sat on the couch of what was supposed to be his and Emma's home, but the darkness had taken that away from them. Now, it seemed as though the Underworld version was mocking him, telling him that he failed to be the man Emma needed - the man she loved.

"Killian?"

Killian looked up and saw Emma standing in front of him with worry.

"Are you okay?" she asked. She took a seat next to him.

Killian nodded. "Aye."

Emma frowned. She took Killian's hand. "You can tell me anything."

The way Emma said it and the way she looked at him made him want to tell her everything, but he knew he couldn't. He couldn't burden her with his troubles. He didn't want Emma to doubt him going home.

Killian leaned forward and kissed her. "I know."

Emma smiled softly. "Good."

Emma threw her jacket onto the couch and let out a frustrated huff. "He's always one step ahead of us! At this point, we're never going to get you home!"

Killian heard her voice waver a bit. He rushed up behind her and wrapped his arms around her middle and pulled her against him. "Hey, it's okay. We'll find a way to get me home. Hades can't keep us down here forever."

Emma leaned back against Killian. "Do you really think so?"

Killian nodded. "If there has been one thing I've learned about you, it's that you never give up on the people you love."

Emma smiled a little. "I love you, Killian." Suddenly, Emma tensed up, realizing what she just said.

Sensing her discomfort, and perhaps uncertainty, Killian said, "I love you, too."

Emma relaxed. She turned around in Killian's arms and kissed him softly. She smiled at him.

Killian's heart swelled. What did he ever do to deserve Emma's love? The more he thought about it, the more he realized that he didn't deserve it.

Emma put her hand on his cheek. "Hey, what is it?"

Killian shook his head and took a step back.

"Killian?"

He looked up at her and saw the worry in her eyes, the brokeness, loneliness. He couldn't be the cause of that. He stepped back forward and pulled Emma into a hug. "I'm sorry."
Emma hesitated. "What's going on?"

Killian just held on tighter. "I'm just worried."

Emma tried to pull away. She wanted to reassure him, but Killian held on tight. He refused to let her go. So, instead, Emma hugged Killian back.

Killian watched as Emma hugged her mother goodbye.

"I'll see you at home," Snow said.

Emma pulled back. "Tell Neal I said hi."

Snow smiled. "Of course. Stay safe."

"Always." Emma stepped back to let her dad say goodbye to her mother. She walked over to Killian and wrapped an arm around his middle, Killian doing the same to her. "Thank you," Emma whispered.

"For what?" Killian asked.

"My mom really wants to be with Neal and Neal needs my mom. So thank you for helping."

"Of course," Killian said. "Anything for you and your family."

Emma smiled.

Killian held back a sigh when Ruby and Snow disappeared in a cloud of smoke. Emma should be going home. Henry should be going home. They're were not safe down there. No one should be down here. The more Killian tried to convince himself that it wasn't his fault that they were down here, the more he felt that it was.

Killian was so distracted in his thoughts that he hadn't even noticed that everyone had started back towards Granny's or that his grip had tightened around Emma.

"Killian, you ready to go? I'm starving." Emma exaggerated the starving.

Killian released a forced chuckle. "Aye."

Emma's eyebrows furrowed. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing."

"Killian…"

"Swan, your family's waiting," Killian tried.

Emma put her hand Killian's chest, keeping him from walking past her. "You're part of my family, Killian. What's going on? You've been distant ever since Liam-" She stopped herself. Worry and doubt filled her, old insecurities coming back. Did Killian decide that he didn't want to go home after all? She let out a shaky breath.

Killian put his hand on her cheek. "Emma?"

Emma looked down. She opened her mouth and whispered, barely audible, "Do you still want to come home?"

Killian quickly pulled Emma into a hug, holding her tightly against him. "Of course I want to come home. I never want to leave your side."

Emma wrapped her arms around his middle. Suddenly, she pulled away from him. "Then, what's wrong?"

Killian sighed. He shifted on his feet. "I-" He sighed. It was better to just get it out in the open. "How can you - your whole family - want to save me after everything I did? I almost sent you all down here - I almost sent your son down here. I don't understand how you have forgiven me when I haven't forgiven myself."

Emma acted on instinct. She put her hands on the side of Killian's face and kissed him.

Killian held Emma tight, a few tears slipped down his cheek. Killian pulled back, much to his dismay, but he just didn't feel like he deserved this - Emma.

"I love you, Killian." This time, she didn't tense up. "I know that it was the darkness that was speaking, not you. The darkness did all those things, not you. That's how I forgave you. I know it wasn't you."

"But you fought the darkness and only gave in out of love. I was weak. I was a coward."

"No, you weren't. You were brave."

Killian shook his head. "No, I wasn't."

"You were. You didn't want me to turn you into the Dark One because you knew it would be hard. You would rather die than even think about turning back into your old self. You saved yourself." Emma smiled softly.

Killian sighed. He rested his forehead against Emma's. "I love you. You are truly amazing."

Emma smiled. She grasped Killian's hand. "I love you, too. Now, let's go eat. I'm starving."
Killian chuckled, a real laugh. "Alright, love. Let's go."

I hope you enjoyed this chapter!