Tumblr Prompts: "He's dead." + "Time changes people."

Future

It was seeing her again—living, breathing; just standing there, right before him, while her carcass of a titan bellowed clouds of steam that blocked out the horizon behind her—made a jolt scream down his spine, paralyzing him in place. She seemed calm and bewildered all at once, confusion evident in her hazy sapphire eyes, after all, she had been asleep for nearly a year and a half.

If only it would have been more than that. If only she'd awoken before they had reached the ocean for the very first time. Before Eren realized that he had not yet achieved true freedom, before he declared war among the Marley. Before they crossed the sea to the other side; where his brother Zeke had been expecting his arrival.

If only she'd stayed asleep. If the massacre hadn't happened—the Marleyan lives taken by his own hands—wouldn't be haunting him, drowning him in a pit of despair. But it had to be done—right?

It had to be done. He told himself. Although he despised himself—Armin no longer trusted him. Mikasa was now wary around him. The veterans regarded him as a delirious individual—a loose-cannon to be closely supervised.

And when he gazed into Annie's eyes after so long—he could only see the eyes of a man he'd indirectly slain—an older man who cried out for his daughter, all the while fighting for his own life in an uprising that Eren caused for the sake of Eldian salvation.

It clicked in his head, how similar they looked. The aquiline nose, the platinum hair, the eyes—oh goddesses—her eyes, they were his, they were his eyes, and Eren Jaeger was a murderer.

"What have you done?" Her voice trembled—she had crossed the ocean to come back home—only to find the remnants of what was left. The stench of burning bodies, titan-infused chemicals, and decay permeated the air, and even the salt of the sea couldn't push that away.

Eren said nothing, because the shame that seeped into his body like poison stole his voice. He felt heavy, and tired, a deadweight sat on shoulders, an anchor of guilt only dragging him further and further into hell.

Was he supposed to feel like this after breaking the chains? After finally achieving the freedom he strived for—the freedom he fought bloodily for? It wasn't supposed to be like this, he wasn't supposed to carry the weight of his dead enemies with him; he felt naked to the bone when her cold eyes roamed over his face—searching for an answer, a reason. It reminded him of Stohess, when she had betrayed him, and he'd been so adamant to not battle her. To not hurt her. Even when she shifted, even when his doubts became a reality.

Annie was offering him another chance, an explanation—even with the destruction of the Ghetto's where she'd come from—gone up in flames, and still stacking smoke, very few Eldians refugee's being tended too on the outskirts, courtesy of the Survey Corp.

He tried to lighten the mood—the way a madman would captivate his victims—he smiled, broken and withered, outstretched his arms before her, "We're finally free." He gushed out, "The Eldians' own this land now."

But in her eyes, there was only untapped rage, and disbelief. "What the fuck is wrong with you?!" She hissed. Then she stepped forward—anger momentarily forgotten, in place of desperation. She moved toward him like a frightened rabbit would a wolf. "My father—" She pleaded, "Where is my father?!"

In his mind's eye, Eren saw a flash of the very same look on a blond man's face, as he fought against the Marley. He'd screamed her name a dozen times, shouted for forgiveness, Annie's forgiveness—he took his guilt with him to his grave. He died in a spray of gun powder, and fire.

Eren wondered if the same will happen to him. "He's dead."

"You're lying!" She surged forward, yanked him down by the collar his shirt so they were at eye level—he could see the tears brimming at the corner of one eye not shrouded by blonde hair; it was an angry red, surrounding a pretty crystal blue. He felt sick for thinking how stunning she looked when she cried.

"You're fucking lying. Take me to him," She seethed, "Take me to my father." Her grip on his shirt tightened, and he was forced to lean further down, his nose grazed against hers, and she breathed erratically against his mouth.

"I can't." He whispered. His own hands reached up in attempt to pry her off him, "He's gone. There's nothing left."

He didn't see it coming—her fist jerking back, and then connected heavily with his jaw, snapping his head sideways, the blow made him stumble back—but she chased him, driven with hate—with sadness. Her other fist jammed into his cheek, and he felt something snap. But he did nothing—refused to defend himself against her grief.

She pounced on him—wild, and infuriated, pummeling his face until his blood stained her knuckles, and the sand beneath them soaked droplets of red. His eyes burned as steam began sealing his wounds shut—but she wouldn't have that. Annie was hysterical, she broke into a sob when her fist broke his nose.

"You son of a bitch…" She hiccupped, "You bloody asshole, he was all I had!"

Eren turned his head, spat blood on the sand. "S-sorry—" He tried to console her, but it hurt to speak. It hurt to look her in the eyes. There was no way he could tell Annie that her father died for her—for her freedom. She would never see things from his perspective, as would the others. They all just could not see what had been done for the greater good of humanity.

Annie growled softly, "Shut up." She closed her eyes, hands on each side of his head, gritty with sand, and blood. She twisted his hair in a fist as tears streamed down her cheek, and off her chin. Each one landing with a slight sting on his wounds. "Just shut up."

Eren welcomed the pain, and the grieving girl on top of him. This was better than her shifting—this was better than her wreaking havoc on the others, hell bent on revenge like he had once been. Though seeing this side to her made her appear much more human in his eyes; he had to remember that she was like him in a lot of ways.

"Why?" She coughed in his face, "Why this? What happened? This was never you, Jaeger. You caused a war—"

"Time changes people." His eyes were glassy as he peered through her, "When I saw the ocean, for the first time in my life, I saw…beyond it. I saw what could be ours, and I wanted to take it back."

Annie shook her head—as if he were spouting nonsensical things. "You caused genocide." Her voice cracked, "You annihilated them all."

She tugged harshly on his hair, causing him to hiss in pain. "What makes you so different from them now, huh?" Another tug, "What makes you think you're not like Zeke?"

Eren's eyes flashed, and in the second it took for her to speak his name, he had already flipped them over, his arms barricading her head, her shock wore off in place of a deep simmering hatred. Hatred he welcomed.

"The difference is I did something." He held her down as she kicked beneath him, "I made a better future for the Eldians'."

Annie's lips curled into a cruel smile reminiscent of her titan-form, she snorted, though there was no mirth present in her eyes. "You're scum."

Eren gritted his teeth, his face growing hot with shame, even the calming waves of the ocean could not pacify him. "Yeah? Well you're no different."

"I didn't have a choice." Annie pushed against him, but he was unyielding. "You chose to become a mass murderer." That was true. But Eren was a tenacious young man. What he did was never for nothing. And Annie would see soon, the changes that would occur without the oppression of the Marley, every person who deemed him mad would—they would eventually see the world through his eyes.

Eren was anything but patient, but for this, he would wait decades. For this, he would gladly carry the deaths of thousands of people or more—because Eren had once been a dreamer, and the only thing he dreamed of was real freedom.