i'm sorry my updates have been so sporadic! They should be going back to normal soon.

This chapter is based after the events in 5x15, "The Brothers Jones." I hope you enjoy it!

Never Again

Emma sat on her bed in the loft, her legs pulled to her chest. Killian had said he wanted a future, a future with her. That was all she wanted, but Liam's words kept ringing in her head no matter how hard she tried to tune them out.

Killian was everything to her, but was letting him go the best thing for him?

"Emma? Are you up here?"

Emma quickly wiped the tears from her eyes and cleared her throat. "Yeah!"

There was a sound of heavy footsteps and then Killian appeared at the top of the stairs, a bright smile on his face. "Your lad is brilliant."

She nodded, averting his gaze. "He is, isn't he?" She cursed herself when her voice wavered.

The smile vanished from Killian's face. "Emma? What's wrong?" He approached her, kneeling in front of her. He took her hand in his own. "Love?"

Emma planted her feet on the floor, but stayed seated. She leaned forward on her hands, pulling them away from Killian. "Nothing."

Killian tilted his head to the side. "Do you really expect me to believe that? What's bothering you, Swan?"

She squeezed her eyes closed. She didn't want to tell him. He idolized Liam, even after finding out the truth about him. Emma didn't want to be the one who crushed that.

"Is this about Liam?"

Emma forced a smile back. He was too perspective for his own good. She gave him a small nod, eyes on her feet.

Killian sighed. He stood and sat next to her. "Emma, please look at me."

She inhaled deeply before angling her neck so she was staring into Killian's blue eyes. "I'm sorry, Killian. He's your brother—"

He shook his head, hand resting on her cheek. "Don't apologise. Please. You have nothing to be sorry for. I do, though. I do." He knew Liam had spoken to Emma, but he didn't know what about. He had been too overjoyed about his brother's return to think anything of it.

"Killian—"

"Shh, love. Let me speak, please." His voice was soft and pleading. He wanted to say so much, tell her everything he was thinking. "I should have spoken to Liam about you. I should have told him not to be overbearing. He's…he's protective."

Emma scoffed. "I know."

His chest tightened. What exactly had he said to her? "Do you wish to talk about it?"

Emma looked away, realizing what he was asking. Did she? Did she even want to voice her worries? What if Killian realized his brother was right? What if he decided to stay?

Then I'd let him.

Only if it was what he truly desired.

She sucked in a breath. "He didn't approve of me. He said I should have let you die. He said I should let you move on. He claimed it was my fault that you died a Dark One, which is true. He said I wasn't good for you." Her voice grew quieter and quieter, but she quickly added, "That's why I was suspicious of him. I knew he was hiding something."

Killian surged forward, capturing Emma's lips in his own. "You are good for me, Emma. You saved me." He held her gaze that was now full of tears. "You turned me into a hero. You gave me a reason to live."

Tears slid down her cheeks. She put her hands on the side of his face. "You are a hero, Killian."

Killian smiled softly. "It is not your fault I died the way I did. The fault lies with me. I let the darkness consume me, let it use me to do its bidding."

Emma shook her head. "The darkness—"

"Don't deny it, sweetheart. Don't."

"Killian—"

He silenced her with a tender kiss. "Emma, Liam wanted me to be happy. He thought me moving on was what would do that. It wasn't, though. What will make me truly happy is going home with you."

Emma smiled, the tears coming faster. "Killian, I…I don't know what I'd do without you." She put her arms around his neck and hugged him.

He rubbed circles on her back and held her close. "You will never have to find out, darling. I'm not going anywhere."

Emma blinked rapidly and wiped the tears out of her eyes, pulling back. "When we first got here, I was worried I wasn't going to find you. I was worried you had moved on, like Neal."

He furrowed his eyebrows. "Baelfire? You spoke with him?" There was a hint of hope in his voice.

She nodded. "Yeah, well, kind of. On the boat ride here, I fell asleep or something. Neal talked to me. He said he was happy, that he'd moved on."

"That's wonderful."

Emma looked up at him. He was smiling, eyes bright. "What is?"

"He's happy. He deserves to be."

"Yeah, he does." A small smile worked its way across her face. "He really does." Her mind wandered to why she brought Neal up in the first place. She deflated when she recalled the reason.

Killian cupped her cheek, swiping his thumb across it. "What is it, love?"

She shook her head, blinking the tears out of her eyes. "Nothing. I'm just…I'm so glad we found you. I was going crazy not knowing where you were. Then we saw you, or a hologram of you, at the cemetery." She looked up, her eyes meeting his. "You looked so hurt. You were in so much pain. I didn't know if you got the message and we still weren't any closer to finding you. I—" She cut herself off, tears falling down her cheeks.

Killian's heart clenched. Hades had made it almost impossible for Emma to find him. Every minute he'd spent away from her had almost driven him mad. "It's okay, Emma. I'm here now."

She bobbed her head before leaning forward and burying her face in his chest, arms wrapping around him.

Killian held her close. Sitting here like this with the love of his life made him overjoyed, but he also couldn't fight the guilt that was eating him up. He'd gotten so angry with her for being suspicious of Liam, so defensive. He hadn't been there for her. He made her doubt his feelings for her. He'd convinced himself that moving on was the right thing to do. He thought that being with Liam was enough.

Oh, but it wasn't. He loved Liam, but he had his own life. After Liam died, Killian was so consumed with grief that he couldn't think straight. Centuries later, he found someone worth living for—Emma. Being with her made him feel whole. It made him feel a way he hadn't felt since before Milah's death. He had loved Milah, yes, a great deal, but nothing compared to his feelings for the woman he was holding now. He hated himself for making Emma doubt that.

"I did get your message," he whispered.

Emma began to pull away, but Killian held her there. When she noticed this, she relaxed against him.

"When you tried to send me a message, I got it," he repeated softly.

"You did?"

He nodded. "Aye. When I heard your voice, when I realized you were here—Emma, I can't even begin to express how I felt." He took a breath. "At first, I was worried. So very worried. I couldn't believe you were down here, but I knew how much danger you were in. I couldn't stand it. Then, I was elated. You were here. I was going to be with you again, see you again, hold you again." His arms tightened around her. "Then, I was determined. I was determined to find you, to make your job easier. I was going mad knowing you were down here and not being able to see you."

"Me too."

A small smile appeared on his face. "We'll find a way to get you home, Emma. You and your family."

Emma pulled away, ignoring Killian's protests this time. "That includes you, too, Killian."

His smile grew wider. "I know."

The grin that cut across her face was so full of relief and joy that Killian felt guilt yank at his chest again. She really had thought he was going to leave her. How could he ever forgive himself? He knew he had to start by making sure Emma knew with all her heart that he would never leave her again.

He rested his forehead on hers. "I want that future with you, Emma. I do."

Emma wrapped her arms around his neck. "I want it, too. We can have it, we just need to find a way out of here. A way that gets us both out of here, okay?"

He nodded. Gosh, he loved her so much. He wanted to tell her so badly, tell her everything he felt for her, but he was frightened. So very frightened. He knew she loved him, but she wouldn't admit it unless they were facing certain death. He wished with his entire being that she could say it without something like that facing them. He wished it could be normal for them. He wanted it to be something he could say to her everyday without worrying she would freeze. He wanted her to trust him enough to say it without worrying he would run because he would never, never leave her.

He leaned forward, kissing her gently before mumbling, "I love you, Emma."

For a moment, she tensed. Then, her face lit up with another smile that was larger than he'd ever seen. "I know, Killian. I know."

His smile matched hers before he kissed her again, holding her as though she would break if he held on too tight. This was happiness. This was what he wanted for the rest of his life. If Emma was feeling even half as joyful as he was, he could never deny her of that.