This chapter is based in season 4B.
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I don't own OUAT.
Forgive
Killian grinned at his ship. He never thought he would walk across her planks again. Though he knew the sacrifice was well worth it, had he missed his ship. But he knew he would trade it in a heart beat to get to Emma again.
He snuffed out the candle, ready to head back to his room at Granny's. Tomorrow, he would gather all his belongings and bring them back to his beloved ship.
It was dark as he began his trek back to the diner. A cool breeze blew through the air, drawing a content sigh from him. The sea was his home. The thought that he would be able to spend his nights atop of it again was enough to speed up his pace.
Ahead of him, a figure sat on one of the cold metal benches. Immediately, he recognized her. His heart tightened when he got closer. She was facing the water, her knees drawn up to her chest. Her chin sat on one of her knees. Her red leather jacket was wrapped tightly around her. Even with the jacket, she was shaking.
"Swan?"
Her head shot up and she jumped to her feet, spinning around. When her eyes landed on him, she relaxed. "Sorry." She dropped back onto the bench, resuming her previous position.
Killian sat down next to her. Though she wasn't looking at him, he could see the redness surrounding her eyes. "What's going through that head of yours?"
She lifted her shoulders in a half-hearted shrug. A shiver ran through her.
Killian pursed his lips. "We should get you some place warm, love. You look cold."
"I'm fine," she said flatly. Killian didn't miss the slight shake in her voice. He put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. His hand rubbed her arm, attempting to warm her up. Emma shifted closer, resting her head on his shoulder. She pulled her knees closer to her chest. "What are you doing out here? It's late."
He smiled into her hair. "I was on my ship."
Emma tensed for a moment before relaxing.
"What is it, love? Tell me what's bothering you."
She sucked in a soft breath. "You're glad you have your ship back?"
"Aye, love. Why?"
Emma bit her lip and didn't respond.
Killian turned his head and planted a kiss on her head. "Tell me what you're thinking."
She remained quiet for a moment, breathing softly. When she spoke, she ducked her head. "Do you ever…regret trading your ship? I know I'm not always open, and I—"
Killian leaned back enough to see his love's face. He pushed her chin up with his hook, but she kept her eyes cast down.
"Look at me, Emma," he said gently.
She held her breath and looked up. Her green eyes were full of exhaustion. Bags hung under them. The redness around them hadn't faded.
"I have never and will never regret trading my ship," he said firmly. "It was the best decision I've ever made. I thank my lucky stars everyday that I made the choice I did."
Tears filled her eyes. "You've never regretted it? Even when I pushed you away because I wanted to go back to New York with Henry?"
He shook his head. "Never. You know why?" She shook her head. "Because even if I hadn't been able to get you to remember me, I still saw you once more. Then, you did remember me and I was able to get you home. I was able to get to know you and your boy more. Everyday since I traded my ship has been a blessing. Even when you pushed me away. I'd happily trade the Jolly Roger again to get to you."
A small smile appeared on her face. "You're pretty great, you know?"
He chuckled and set his forehead on hers. "Thank you, love." He remembered when the bird had landed on his shoulder back in the Enchanted Forest. As soon as he had read the note, his heart nearly leapt out of his chest. His eyes had stared at Emma's name for a whole minute before he was able to peel them away to read the rest of the note. In a moment, he had known what he had to do. His heart had felt lighter than it had in a year as he declared to his crew they were to make port.
She pressed her lips against his for a lingering moment before pulling away and leaning her head on his shoulder again. Killian could feel all the tension leave her body. How long had this worry ailed her?
"You should get home, love," he whispered. "Your parents might worry."
She stiffened.
Realization dawned on him. Though Emma may have been worried about him and his ship, that wasn't the reason she had come out here. She'd come out here to get away from her parents.
"How long have you been out here, darling?" Their search for the Author had lasted a couple hours before Princess Snow had insisted on taking Henry home. Killian had taken the opportunity to suggest they all get rest. He knew Emma was seeping with exhaustion, all her initial adrenaline gone. She'd argued at first, but eventually caved, saying goodnight to him before storming away from her parents. The only indication that she had gone home after was the red leather jacket around her shoulders instead of the one she had worn earlier.
She shrugged. "A while." Another shiver ran through her. She burrowed herself into Killian's side, seeking more warmth.
"Let's go to my ship. It's warmer there."
Emma hesitated before nodding. Killian smiled and stood, grabbing her hand and pulling her up. He held her close as they began the walk to Killian's ship.
"I haven't been on here since we were stuck in the past," Emma said as they stepped onto the deck of the Jolly Roger. She grinned up at Killian. "Remember?"
He rolled his eyes. "Of course I do. I had to knock out my past self."
"You didn't have to," she teased.
"I admit, I may have been a bit jealous."
She snorted. "That sounds like an understatement."
"Can you blame me? I'd been trying to gain your trust for a long time."
Emma swung their hands. "I did trust you. Just…I didn't want to open myself up to getting hurt again."
He squeezed her hand. "I would never hurt you, Swan."
She smiled softly. "I know." Another gust of wind blew through the air, making Emma shiver. She tried to suppress it, but failed.
Killian tugged her toward the Captain's Quarters. "It's warmer down here."
Emma followed him. She couldn't help but feel touched that Killian was letting her onto his ship, his home. This was what he had traded to get to her. He'd given up his home for her. She still couldn't comprehend it. She couldn't understand why he would do it, especially when she had pushed him away so far, but she knew she would do the same for him.
The room was a little different than she remembered, but that was to be expected. Her mind went to the night she had been there last, aching to leave. They had been in such different circumstances back then. Now, leaving was the last thing Emma wanted to do.
Killian appeared behind her, smiling. "Warmer?"
She nodded, pushing herself up onto the edge of the bed. "Yeah." She glanced at her feet, remembering why she had ended up here in the first place. She couldn't stand being in the same apartment as her parents. The air felt poisoned. Everytime she thought about what they told her, her blood boiled.
"You all right, love?" Killian asked quietly, sitting next to her.
She blew out a breath and leaned against him. "Yeah. I just…I don't want to go back to my parents' apartment. I felt like I was suffocating."
Killian tucked her into his side. "You don't have to go anytime soon, love."
Emma sighed. "Thanks."
Killian shifted the conversation. "Has August been reunited with his father?"
"Yeah, Marco was worried sick. Blue contacted him almost as soon as we brought August to her."
He nodded in understanding. "How does his father feel about his aging?"
Emma shrugged. "I don't know."
Killian wanted to keep the conversation light, but he knew Emma needed to talk about what happened with her parents, even if she didn't know it.
"Have your parents tried to talk to you, love?"
Emma held her breath for a moment before saying, "I don't want to talk about it."
He had known she would say that, but he frowned nonetheless. Did she not trust him enough to share her burdens with him? "Emma—"
"Killian, please stop. I know you're trying to help, but I don't want it."
He held back a sigh. All he wanted was for Emma to be at peace again. The last several hours hadn't been kind to her and it killed him.
"Emma, you forgave Baelfire for his wrong-doings, correct?"
Emma's body was stiff. "Eventually."
"He did what he did out of love, not that I agree with what he did. I can't fathom leaving you for any reason."
She gave him a small smile.
"Your parents did what they did out of love, too. If you can forgive Bae, why can't you forgive them?"
Emma didn't answer right away. She stared ahead, her body only moving to breathe. Finally, when Killian was about to change the subject, Emma said, "They lied about it. Neal didn't. He did what he had to do to save Storybrooke. My parents did what they did because they didn't believe in me."
Killian's eyebrows drew together. "How do you figure that, Swan?"
She sucked in a deep breath and huffed it out. "They chose to believe some magic unicorn that showed my mom I would be evil. My dad, though, saw me as good. Why did they decide that the fate my mom saw was my true fate? If they had just had faith in me and themselves, Maleficent's child would be fine."
Killian's heart clenched. He should have realized the prince and princess's confession cut Emma deeper than she let on.
"They were frightened, Emma," he tried. "They wanted to protect you."
"I wasn't even born yet. They cursed another child—"
"I know, love. I know."
She shifted so she was facing him. "Then why—"
"Let me finish." He gave her a reassuring smile. "I know it will take time to forgive them. I'm not saying you need to forget their sins right away, but don't shut them out. Please."
Emma's glare softened. "Don't worry about me, Killian.
"That's hard to do, love."
Emma cupped his cheek and swiped her thumb across it. "I'm fine. Really."
He rested his forehead on hers. "Okay."
Emma breathed in, exhaling slowly. Her exhaustion was catching up with her. She knew she was going to need to sleep soon. She knew Killian needed rest, too. He'd been up all day and most of the night. She didn't even know what time it was. It wasn't until her phone vibrated that she moved her head, dropping it to Killian's shoulder and pulling out her device.
She groaned. "It's my mom. She's wondering where I am. You'd think they'd let me have some freedom. I'm not a teenager."
Killian rubbed Emma's arm. "They're only worried, love. This is Storybrooke after all."
Emma shut her phone off without responding and slid it back into her pocket, leaning heavily against Killian. "I don't want to go home right now."
"Emma, you're exhausted. Perhaps you should go—"
"No, but you should go back to Granny's. You look tired too."
"I'm not leaving you alone," he said firmly.
Emma's mouth tugged up. "I'll be fine."
"That doesn't mean you want to be alone."
She glanced away. He knew her too well. "Okay." Her head laid back against his shoulder. "We can stay a little longer."
Killian stared at her lovingly, the words he wanted to say so bad dancing on the tip of his tongue. The love he felt for the woman he was holding was without end. He wanted nothing more than to tell her that, to tell her she was the very reason he was breathing. He wanted to tell her so much, but he knew he couldn't. He wasn't that selfish. She needed time. He'd already told her she was his happy ending. Before he had let those words out of his mouth, he'd been terrified that she would throw her walls up and run. When she hadn't, when she had reached out to him, he had been full of indescribable joy. He wanted to tell her that he wanted to tell her everything.
"Emma, I—" The two words left his mouth before he could stop them.
Her body tensed. She knew what he was about to say.
He forced himself not to sigh. She wasn't ready and he would never push her. "I think we could take the Jolly out and be back before the sun rises."
She relaxed, pulling back to smile at him. "I think we could. You could finally teach me what you taught Henry."
His smile, though he was disappointed, was genuine. If he couldn't say how he felt, he could show it. "Aye. Navigating the stars is the first thing every sailor should learn."
Emma hopped to her feet, grabbing his hand. "Teach me."
He chuckled and grabbed her hand. "Gladly."
I hope you enjoyed that chapter!