Sorry that this is a day late! I had no time to edit yesterday!
This chapter is based during episodes 15, 16, and 17 of season 6.
Home
She wanted to scream at herself. Why had she taken the ring off? Why had she not chased after him when she heard the door slam? Why couldn't she pull herself together and leave the house?
Emma had been staring out the front window for what felt like hours. When she'd finally had the courage to leave their room, she'd found the house empty. She'd scoured it, even called his name a few times. The brokenness of the sound had made her stop. After concluding he'd left, she waited on the couch.
He probably just went to the docks to think, she thought over and over again. She knew he wouldn't leave her, but old insecurities poisoned her mind, forcing her to think that was the only explanation he wasn't back yet.
When the sun began to set, she looked out the window, hoping to catch sight of him walking up the sidewalk. As the day came to an end and darkness settled, those earlier insecurities lodged themselves at the front of her mind.
At first, Emma was able to ignore them. Killian had assured her countless times before that he would never leave her. But, then, where was he?
It wasn't until she was seeping with exhaustion that she moved back to the couch. She didn't want to sleep in their room without him. She would wait here until he got back. Perhaps he had just lost track of time?
She fought to keep her eyes open. She blinked rapidly and sat up straight, refusing to sleep. He would be home soon. He would be home and then she could apologize. She never should have taken the ring off. She never should have walked away, but gosh it had hurt to think he didn't trust her. He had been about to burn his memories, preferring that over trusting her.
No. He trusted her. She knew that. He had just been frightened—terrified. That was why he wasn't home yet. He must be worried to face her again, but she knew he would come back. Soon, he'd walk through that door and right into her arms. Soon, she would have the ring back. Soon, they would be together.
With those reassuring thoughts, she allowed sleep to overtake her as she laid on the couch, hoping and waiting for Killian to return.
Killian couldn't sleep. Nemo insisted he try, but he couldn't. All he could think about was how his love was alone, thinking he had left her. He could imagine her curled up in bed by herself. It made his heart squeeze. She didn't deserve this. She had been abandoned too many times. He once told her he'd never do that, never leave her, but now he was in a different realm with no way of communicating with her.
Her engagement ring was clenched in his hand. He held it up, the dim light in the room reflecting off of it. When he'd seen Emma with it, seen how ecstatic she'd been, he hadn't been strong enough to tell her to hold on. He didn't think he had ever seen her as happy as she had been when he slipped the ring onto her finger.
He smiled softly at the memory, but it quickly faded. He wanted to see that happiness again, see the way her entire face lit up when she smiled, see that smile aimed at him.
His heart ached at the possibility of never seeing her again. If he couldn't find a magic bean, a portal—he would be stuck.
But he wouldn't stop fighting to get home to her until he either accomplished it or died in the process. He only hoped he would be able to return before she truly thought he'd left her forever. He needed to get back before the Final Battle, before she faced her death. He couldn't bear it if she left this world thinking he didn't love her.
He pushed himself off the small cot, getting to his feet. He wouldn't sleep knowing Emma was suffering. He was going to find a way home and he wasn't going to rest until he did.
Emma laid in her old bed, curled in a ball. The day had been a rollercoaster. When she'd awoken that morning, she had expected to find Killian right next to her, but he hadn't been. After searching the house once more, she'd determinedly gone to the docks. Leroy had caught up to her, explaining how he had seen Killian board Nemo's submarine and then disappear.
At first, Emma had argued with him. Killian wouldn't have left, at least not of his own free will. Leroy hadn't seemed to know what to say, so he'd walked away. Emma had stood there, so confused because she knew Killian wouldn't leave her. He had told her so many times that he wouldn't. He had assured her over and over again. He wouldn't leave her. It just wasn't possible.
After standing there for almost a half hour, she headed to the loft. She needed to talk to someone. It just wasn't possible. Killian wouldn't leave her. He wouldn't. She knew that.
She didn't know what changed in her mind during that short walk, but somehow she'd convinced herself that he had left, and it hurt like nothing she had ever felt. Halfway to the loft, she had to stop walking. Her breathing had grown ragged. Her head spun, the world tilting underneath her as reality set in.
She had driven him away. He was gone and it was all her fault. He was gone and wasn't ever coming back.
That night, when she'd gone back to their home to pick Henry up after a disastrous night out with Regina and her mother, she had heard his voice. Finding the shell had been like finding the Holy Grail. His voice, his words—he was coming home. He hadn't left her. Gideon had sent him away. After the euphoria of that wore off, anger coursed through her.
Gideon was the one to blame. Gideon was the one that had to pay. Gideon was the one blocking Killian from returning home. He was the one that was going to fix everything.
Henry had gone up to bed when Emma had reentered the house, Gideon on her heels. She'd wanted to do everything in her power to force Gideon to bring Killian home at that moment. Whatever Gideon wanted, he wasn't going to get it. Not until Killian was home safely.
Despite knowing that Killian was fighting to get back to her, she couldn't bring herself to sleep in their home without him. So, she'd rushed upstairs the moment Gideon disappeared and slammed Killian's sea chest on Henry's bed, causing him to nearly jump out of his skin.
"He didn't leave," she'd breathed. "He's coming back. He's coming home."
Henry's smile had been wider than she had ever seen. "I knew it! He would never leave you!"
Emma had quickly grabbed her keys, saying she needed to drop him off at Regina's before going back to the loft.
Her mother had a similar reaction as Henry. "Of course he didn't leave. How could he? He loves you so much, Emma."
"How's he going to get home, Mom? What if he needs help? I don't even know where he is! Gideon's blocking him from getting back."
Her mother had assured her quickly, soothing her worries and suggesting she go home and get some rest. Emma had immediately shook her head.
"I can't be there without him, Mom. I can't."
She had smiled sadly. "Take your old room, then."
Emma had happily accepted and excused herself to retire to bed.
Now, she was curled up in a bed that was no longer her own, yearning for Killian's touch. She wanted so badly to hold his hand, see his eyes, his smile. She knew he was coming back. That pain had ceased, but now a new agony had set in. She had no idea where her True Love was. He could be in Neverland for all she knew and she wouldn't be able to help him. He couldn't get home until she defeated Gideon or found a way around his stupid spell.
She clenched the ring he'd given to her back in Camelot in her hands. He had her ring, the ring she regretted pulling off her finger. She knew he was keeping it safe. She would keep this safe. If it was safe, surely he would be too.
With that thought, her eyes slipped closed.
Emma's hand gripped Killian's as they walked up the front steps. When they reached the door, Emma paused, taking a deep breath.
"Are you all right, love?" Killian questioned softly.
Emma looked up at him and saw his encouraging smile. She had missed beyond words. "I am now." She smiled softly, pushing the door open and pulling him inside. A few days ago, being in this house had caused her so much pain that she had had to sleep at her parents' apartment, even after she heard from Killian over the shell phone. Now, all she could think about was how she was returning to it with her pirate at her side.
"It's rather chilly in her, Swan," Killian commented, walking toward the thermostat. Emma followed him, refusing to let go of his hand.
She smiled sheepishly. "I haven't been here in a couple days."
He turned the heat up before facing her again. "Why not?"
"I didn't want to be here without you." She shifted on her feet.
His heart tugged painfully. He stepped closer and caressed her cheek. "You won't ever have to again."
Emma leaned into his touch, relishing in its warmth. "I know."
He stared at her for a moment before making up his mind and leading her to the living room. He sat down on the couch, Emma following suit.
"What is it?" she asked, her hand on his leg.
He met her eyes. "I am so sorry, Emma. I didn't want to leave. I shouldn't have ever left the house in the first place. I should have followed you up those stairs. I am so, so sorry."
Emma placed her hand on his cheek. "I know you didn't want to leave, Killian. It was all Gideon. He wanted me to be alone, so that when the Final Battle comes—"
He grasped her hand tightly. "You will not be alone, Emma. I will be there."
She gave him a small smile. "I know, Killian. I know."
"I missed you so much," he whispered, swiping his thumb over her cheek. "I was worried I would never see you again." His voice broke.
"Hey, it's okay." She scooted closer to him. "We're together now."
He nodded, resting his forehead on hers.
Emma didn't want to admit the amount of relief she had felt when she had heard Killian's voice all those days ago. She should have known he would never leave her. She shouldn't have let her walls come up, but even after all these years of slowly letting them down, it was so easy for her to retreat behind them, especially when she thought the one person who would never leave her…did.
"Emma? What's wrong?" Killian's voice drew her out of her thoughts. His expression was concerned as he stared at her, wiping the tears that had escaped her eyes away.
She hadn't even realized she had started crying. She quickly tried to cover it up, not wanting to make him feel worse than he already did. It wasn't his fault that he had been gone for several days. It was Gideon's.
"I'm just happy your home," she mumbled, gripping his jacket.
He studied her for a moment before shaking his head. "No, that's not it. Emma, love, you can tell me anything."
"I know, Killian. I just…." She averted her gaze. She knew she couldn't keep her feelings a secret, it would just create a barrier between them. "I didn't want to believe that you were gone." Her voice was quiet, but she knew he could hear. "I didn't believe it, at first. I forced myself to stay awake and sit on this couch, waiting for you to come back. Eventually, I fell asleep. When I woke up, I was hoping so much that you would be there. I—" She cut off, her voice choking up. A sob lodged itself in her throat, forcing tears to slide down her face at a rapid pace.
Killian's heart broke. He quickly gathered her into his arms and held her, whispering, "It's okay. I'm here now."
Emma clutched his jacket, her face buried in his chest as the sob escaped her. Not once in the days that Killian had been gone had she let herself cry like this. She couldn't be that selfish. Her parents had enough to worry about, they didn't need to worry about her more than they already were. If they thought she was fine, they could focus on saving themselves. At night, when she was all alone with nothing but her thoughts, she had almost let the sobs consume her, but she was always able to reign them in, knowing one of her parents was awake downstairs.
Now, she didn't have to pretend. She didn't have to put on a mask. She never had to around Killian. He knew her too well. So, she didn't hold anything back. Every painful thought, every agonizing moment from the last few days clawed their way out of her throat.
Her body shook violently, the sobs completely overtaking her. She gasped for air, close to hyperventilating. She knew she needed to stop, but she couldn't. She needed to get everything out of her system, throw every tormenting feeling away. He was here. He wasn't going anywhere.
Killian ran his hand down her back, tears escaping his eyes. He had known that first day—the day Emma hadn't known he was trying to get back to her—would be torture for her. He had hoped that her parents would be able to get her to open up, but it didn't seem that way. He dropped a kiss to her head.
Her hands slid up his chest and around his shoulders. She buried her face in his neck, her sobs ceasing only slightly. Her breathing had gradually turned more and more ragged, coming in short bursts. Killian's worry was quickly escalating.
Killian leaned back some, putting his hand on Emma's cheek and pushing it up gently so he could see her eyes. "Emma, breathe. You are going to pass out. Breathe, darling. Breathe."
She nodded, trying to do as he said, but she couldn't focus on her breaths. All she could think about was how excruciating it had been when he hadn't been by her side. Tears blurred her vision, making it nearly impossible to see him.
"Sweetheart, I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere. Breathe, just breathe, okay? Please."
She took deep breaths, trying to match Killian's even breathing. She blinked rapidly, hoping to get the tears out of her eyes. She felt Killian's hand swipe them away.
"Marvelous job, love. Keep doing that. Slow, calm breaths. In…and out."
A moment later, Killian's face was no longer obscured by tears. Emma saw his reassuring smile and the tear streaks that ran down his cheeks.
"Oh, Killian." She put her hands on either side of his face, wiping the streaks away. "I'm sorry. That wasn't fair."
"No, Emma. Don't apologize. That was completely fair," he assured. "You have every right to feel like that."
She shook her head. "No, I don't. You didn't leave me. I shouldn't—"
"That doesn't change the fact that you thought I did," he interceded. "Even if you didn't believe it at first."
"But I know you wouldn't leave me, Killian. I know it. Why didn't I listen to myself?"
"Because of your scars, Emma," he said softly. "Your old insecurities came back, and that is my fault."
"Killian—"
"Shh, love. Let me finish." He gave her a small smile. "It was my job to make sure you never felt abandoned again, and I failed miserably. I am so sorry for that. I promise to never let you feel that way again. It is still my job to protect your heart."
She pressed her lips to his in a tender kiss. "I love you, Killian."
"I love you, too, Emma."
She leaned forward, wrapping her arms back around him. He pulled her closer, resting his head against hers.
"I'm home, Emma. I'm not going anywhere."
I hope you enjoyed that chapter!