AN: When Zuko is banished Azula is 14 in this time line. Okay? Okay!
Also thank you so much for the review! My original reader, I'm so glad your still here it makes me so happy.
BOOK ONE: FIRE
CHAPTER THREE: SAME FRIENDS, DIFFERENT NIGHTMARES
Friends are like stars, you may not always see them but you know they are there
Two years after her mom disappeared her brother was banished, her uncle left with him and suddenly she was alone. No, she told herself, she wasn't alone. She had her father, the firelord, but no matter how many times she repeated this she still felt urterlessly lonely, abandoned.
And so what, everyone eventually left, she told herself. She should have been grateful, she should have been happy. She was now the crowned princess, heir to firelord Ozai. Not to mention she no longer had to deal with the pain of having Zuzu as a brother. Only, she wasn't happy, something that bothered her nearly as much as Zuzu had.
Perhaps that's why she came here, every day for the last month like clockwork. Her eyes fixated on the pond and the ducklings that played within it, watching the way they rustled about.
It caused an ache in her chest, a feeling she chose to ignore as she contineued watching them. One ducking began chasing the other around the pool, something that reminded With an ache Azula remembered how she used to chase Zuzu. He never liked it, but she sure had.
She would tease him until his face was all red. And when she said red she meant red. He would become as red as a chili pepper! And sometimes she could swear their was even smoke coming from his ears. Still, before he could combust he would call their mother to intervene, ruining the fun.
Or perhaps that had been the fun, since her mother left Azula hadn't much bothered her brother. Sometimes she would tease him and Mai, but aside from that she had actually been quite civil. Still, he had continued with his little grudge against her, constantly whispering "Azula always lies" even when she didn't.
She felt a wet sensation on the right side of her face, realizing with alarm she had cried. It was a single tear, but still. Traitor, she thought as she wiped the evidence of her weakness away with a delicate pale finger. It was strange, she hadn't cried a month ago when he had been sent away. Sometimes she would forget he was gone, going to his rooms only to realize they were now hers. It was strange, to say the very least.
It probably had to do with the stress the last month had added. Her titlle change had caused much conflict throughout the nation. People feared that if her father died they would have a woman leading them, god forbid. Her fathers council was outraged, especially when he rejected the idea of marrying her. She was 14, it was outrageous. Still, they kept breathing down both their necks.
Azula had noticed the subtle changes, some war chiefs and prominent figures being called to the capital. She had noticed her father always seemed to be on edge, waiting. Whatever was happening was happening this week, she had realized when her classes had been cancelled. Perhaps it was meetings to determine what was happening, or perhaps something else, she wasn't quite sure. All that she knew was the palace was alive with activity, buzzing, the constant noise driving her to her wits end.
Speaking of the constant noise, she heard footsteps approaching from behind. Azulas ears perked, trying to determine who it was from how they approached. It was a game she liked to play, the skill she developed through such games had come in handy many times. The person walking to her was a man, that was clear by the weight of the steps. The pace told her it wasn't a servant, their was no anxiety laced in the movement. It was someone who felt comfortable aproaching her, more than that. It was someone who didn't fear her, infact felt as if he had some control over her. It wasn't her father, she knew his footsteps to well, and that left one person.
"General Zhao," she said as the man approached her, lips curving in a disgusted smile. Everything about this man she hated. His presence made her skin crawl. His voice made her wish for the sound of her teachers ruler scraping punishingly against the shalkboard. And the smell of him, the stench of whatever cologne he chose to wear truly made her want to vomit, but that could be that perhaps she had acquainted him with this smell. Maybe it truly wasn't that bad but he was.
"Crowned princess Azula," he said, approaching her so he was standing beside her, close enough that the nauseating smell was overwhelming her senses. The way he said her title was mocking it, turning the powerful name into an insult. "Funny seeing you here," his voice sounded like the crawling of a creature with many legs, clicking and hissing.
It wasn't funny, or a coincidence. She came here every day and he was very well aware of it, as proven by the fact that he had arrived at the normal time she would have been. She had decided to come early which was the only reason he hadn't been waiting for her. "Aren't you supposed to be out fighting a war," she snapped. He had been deployed in the earth kingdom not long ago, a punishment for having the audacity to request her hand in marriage. Her father couldn't kill him, it would be bad politically. And so, he had sent him to the front lines to die. This was of course before she became crown princess, before every voice in the palace demanded she marry.
"Ahh, but they called me back to help or glorious nation solve it's new problem," he emphasized the last word. Was that what they thought of her, Azula tried desperatly to calm the frantic beat of her heart.
It did no good, parasitic anger crawled it's way under her skin, it's venom seeping into her blood. She could feel it building, boiling just under the surface as she tried desperatly to tame it back. But you should never fan fire, and that's what Azula had been doing. It only builded faster, her ears ringing as her blood began to heat. It was growing, building. She could no longer see the world infront of her just the red of her own blood.
"Azula," she heard her friends clear and destinct voice call her. Whatever spell she had been under broke, the instant it did so she saw Ty Lee.
"Ty Lee, could that me you?" She responded, smirking as she strode over to the girl.
Ty Lee's face was split wide open, grinning as she bounced to her friend. She wrapped her arms tightly around her, breathing in the familiar scent of cherries, a smell that screamed Azula.
Azula returned the affection, glad for a reason to leave Zhao and even more glad to see her friend. She hadn't seen her for what felt like ever, in reality only being a few years. Of course they kept in touch with letters, however it wasn't the same. No, it wasn't, Azula thought, basking in the familiar presence of her childhood friend. Any anger or fear she felt was washed away, her heart throbbing with utter joy.
"Why's he staring at you?" Ty Lee asked, ruining the moment of utter happiness. She didn't even bother looking over her shoulder to know she was speaking of Zhao. Her foul mood attempted to return, but she pushed it down. She would not let the old sleazy man ruin this week.
Mai's family had been called to the palace on important business, the likes of which Azula could guess. Still, Ty Lee heard Mai would be there and they had managed to work out for Ty Lee to stay for the week as well. It would be like old times, the three girls hanging out as they once did. And Zhao would not ruin it!
Azula gave her friend a look and shook her head, telling her it was unimportant. At least that's what she had been trying to convey, in reality Ty Lee had realized their was something more going on, something that bothered Azula deeply. Instead of asking what she decided to change the subject. "Has Mai got here yet?" She asked as they entered the maze-like hallways of the palace. Ty Lee may not have been here in a while, but the way to her friends corridors were familiar.
However, Azula tugged her a different way, causing Ty Lee to tilt her head in confusion. "Mai is scheduled to arrive later this evening," Azula informed her friend as she dragged her along. The questioning eyes of nobles bore into the two girls, causing Ty Lee to become visibly uncomfortable. Upon realizing this Azula stroad faster, looking at the nobles in such a way that caused them to turn away in fear.
Once they made it to the firelord's wing, the presence of the nobles vanished. The weren't allowed in here, and though servants walked about, tending to their chores, it was much more peaceful. Azula's feet wakes the familiar path to her brothers, hers, she reminded herself, corridors.
Upon entering the space, the presence of surging staff disappeared. She didn't like them in her rooms, and though she would allow for them to clean them she kept them out as much as possible.
"Wow, this is so much bigger," Ty Lee pointed out as they walked to her sleeping chambers. Azula nodded, swollowing the lump as she realized that Ty Lee hadn't been since her mother left. Her rooms had changed twice since then, first to the room of the second princess, then to the crown princesses corridors, a place her brother used to reside.
She hadn't changed the rooms, leaving it as her brother had. Azula told herself it was because she was to lazy to, because that would take to much time and effort. But, I'm all honesty it was because she couldn't bring herself to. Even being here felt as if she was trespassing.
They entered the bedroom, Ty Lee immediately jumping on the far to large bed. Azula smiled, forgetting her woes as she took off her shoes and lay down next to her friend. Azula possitioned herself on her stomach, hands propping her hesd so she could see Ty Lee's big smile. Azula returned it, her own smile far less obnoxious but portraying the same feeling. "Tell me everything," she demanded.
Azula generally wasn't the person to enjoy listening to people talk, period. She hated her teachers lecturing, the old men of her fathers Court attempting to convince her of something. She especially hated it when people talked about themselves, when it had nothing to do with her. Why should she care if you had a daughter, Azula would think as she congratulated noble after noble. But, she loved hearing Ty Lee talk, especially about herself. Azula would become lost in the acrobats' words, in what was happening. And, she truly did care. And so she clung to ever small thing her friend shared, and Ty Lee shared a lot.
She told Azula about the circus, about her mentor and cats mates. She even told Azula about a women who helped her continue her traiming, someone who taught her a new method. Ty Lee had always been proficient in combat training, but the new method she described interested Azula. After no convincing at all the acrobat agreed to show her friends some moves, much to Azula's gratitude.
Ty Lee also explained what it was like to perform, to be the center of the stage and attention of everyone watching. She explained her anxiety at first, but said once she did it she found it truly liberating. Ty Lee also talked about boys, something Azula didn't particularly care to hear but listened because well, it was Ty Lee. She talked about her failures with a family on her face, how she had learned more about herself in the process and felt truly grateful.
"My auras never been pinker," she explained cheerfully, smiling at Azula so just laughed. Ty Lee knew her friend didn't belive much in Auras, something that was common with a lot of people. Still, she appreciated that Azula never invalidated it. "So, what about you?" Ty Lee asked, grinning as she sat lotus on the bed.
"What about me?" Azula teased, rolling on her back and tiling her neck to look at her friend upside down.
"What's been happening, aside from," Ty Lee didn't say it, something she appreciated. Still, Azula knew what she meant. 'Aside from your father mutilating and banishing your brother.' She cut off the traitorous thought. No, she attempted to justify, it had been a punishment. Zuzu had disrespected father and he had to learn. Only, try as she might she couldn't understand what he could have possibles said to deserve such a cruel punishment.
"Oh," Azulas mood deflated as she thought about what had been conspiring recently. "Well nothing much has been going on," she lied. She didn't want to ruin the time she had with her friend discussing things that were out of her control.
Ty Lee knew Azula was lying, she always knew. She opened her mouth, about to say something however was interrupted by light rapping on the door. "Your highness, someone has arrive for you," her head servant announced. The door opened to reveal Mai and whatever Ty Lee had been thinking of asking was immediately forgotten.
"Mai," Ty Lee bounced over to her, wrapping her arms around the expressionless girl. Mai patted the acrobats back, making eye contact with Azula and, could that have been, no, had she smiled? It was more pittyiiful smile, but I smile nonetheless. Azula stood up, greeting Mai with much less energy than her acrobatic friend had. Still, she was happy to see her gloomy partner in crime.
The night continued on well. The girls talked for hours, catching up with eachothee on what had been going on. Mai explained how boring her life had been, how she couldn't wait for her mother to give birth and to finally have a brother.
Azula cringed at this, but didn't outwardly show her reaction. Instead she smiled and said she couldn't wait to meet him, she supposed she was a little excited. Though, Mai would be able to spend far less time at the palace and Azula didn't like the thought of that. Since Zuzu had left Mai had been here quite often. Azula assumed she missed him as well, though just like herself Mai wouldn't show it. And so, they silently missed him together, a deeer understanding between them forming because of it.
Azula was grateful Mai didn't bring up the reason her parents were here. She didn't want to talk about the fact that the council wanted to push her marriage up to less than a year, that they were attempting to agree of a groom for her as she spoke. Infact, the more the conversation flowed Azula managed to forget what was happening, becoming lost in the presence of her friends.
It was around midnight when the girls became hungry, and, in celebration of old times, they snuck down to the kitchen together. They stole the cookies and sweets meant for the guest, bringing far to much up with them and eating all of them. Half an hour later they passed out, curled up together in a mess of crumbs and limbs.
Azulas new bed was big enough for everyone to me a yard apart, but still the girls slept as if they were on a twin sized bed, feet in faces and hair in each others mouths.
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Azulas sleep was fitful. It had been since her mother vanished, and it only got worse once uncle and Zuzu left. Often times she would sit awake all night for fear of what awaited her when she closed her eyes. Eventually her father would become angered that she wasn't performing as well, and she would force herself to go to sleep. She was far less scared of whatever nightmares waged for her in her mind that the ones outside, than her father.
Often times she dreamed of war, of pain, of loss. She would see dead, mangled bodies, mass graves dug. Sometimes, when they could do nothing else, the bodies were burnt, the stretch causing her to gag though it wasn't real. But, todays dream was different.
Today she was floating above the ground, a whirlwind below her lifting her into the sky like a sky scraper. She held a man in her strong grasps, his eyes pleading with her, begging for his life. She released him from her fingers, hearing his scream as he plummeted to the ground. The thud was sickening, the sound of his body squashing against the hard dirt.
She had killed before but that was different, this was an execution. Azula felt a scream rise in her throat. The scream never made it past her lips, instead she found herself gagging on wayer, gasping for air but getting none. She was drowning, her arrowed hands desperatly clawing for the reins of, she wasn't sure what of. Only, there was to much water, the waves to big, pulling her deeper and deeper until-
Azula sprang up, her body lurching from the… ground. She was on the ground, and it wasn't as if she had fallen off her bed either. No, her back was covered in dirt and grass, she was outside. She opened her eyes, the light causing her to squint to help adjust. When her eyes finally did however she simply became more confused.
She was on a hill, more of a mound. It truly wasn't that high, but high enough to give her a good view of her surroundings. There was a forest to her left, infront of her was a stream, and too her right was a prairie. Only, none of it was normal. The forests trees extended like skyscrapers into the cotton candy colored sky. The river was flowing uphill. The prairies grass was a torquies color. And in it all creatures she recognized form her uncles picture books as spirits played. They frolicked in the grass, swam in the river, sat in the trees, and flew in the sky.
Azula was speechless, the world before he was the most beautiful thing she had seen. It was magnificent. She could feel the warmth of the sun, hear the laughter in the wind. The wind which smelled like, she inhaled, yes it smelled like butterscotch cookies, her favorite. She closed her eyes, basking in the beauty of the world. The light around her, so radiant and pure. It seemed to stretch on forever. Her mind wondered out more, scanning the world she was in, and she felt it.
It was unlike any other part of the world, instead of laughter she heard screams. Instead of the sweet butterscotch shell there was the bitter aftertaste of burning flesh. And the worse part was something was pulling Azula to it. She didn't know weather it was a pull or a push, weather some external force was causing her to aprach or it was of her own internal cause. Still, she ended up in the middle of all that pain and darkness.
Azula looked up, infront of her stood a tree. She moved closer with her mind, the effort taking nothing from her. Something was trapped at it's roots, a spirit perhaps. As she drew closer however, Azula realized it wasn't a spirit but a person. And, as the blurred lines cleared she realized it was a raven haired, gold eyed girl. A girl who bore striking resemblance to her.
The girl watched as she approached, eyeing Azula as if curious. Azula was curious as well, and lifted a tentative hand to whatever force kept the girl in there. The girl responded by lifting her hand, the two hands touching through the prison wall.
Azulas hand lurched back as if she had been shocked, because for a moment it felt as if she had. She looked at the women in the tree and saw her amused eyes, bitch must have done something to her. "Who are you?" Azula asked, ignoring the lingering tingling feeling in her hand.
"The question you should be asking yourself is who are you," the woman replied, not answering Azula's question in the slightest. Rather than be annoyed however she became more intrigued.
"Why are you trapped?" Azula asked, curious as to what this person had done to end up here.
"Because you trapped me," the voice seemed to consists of hundreds of other voices inside it, making a melody that was truly terrifying. It sent cold shivers up Azulas back, but still she pressed on.
"No I haven't," Azula said, whatever the hell was going on she knew she hadn't trapped this woman here.
"Your right," the woman said, nodding at her. This just confused Azula even more.
She once again drew closer to the tree, inspecting the girl, no, women. She was years older than Azula, and her eyes spoke as if she had lived centuries.
"You look like me," Azula said, not a question.
The woman curled her lip in a sly grin. "Perhaps you look like me," she said, causing Azula's patients to finally begin to wavor.
"Why am I here?" Azula asked, angry. Whatever this was, this strange dream, Azula wanted no part in it.
"I already told you," the women said, her voice singsong. She saw Azulas anger and confusesion and sighed. "Your here because your worthless, because at the end of the day everyone always leaves you. It's not going to change, no matter how much you try to hold onto her."
Azula knew she was talking about Ty Lee. She didn't like to think about the fact that just like everyone else the acrobat had left. She tried to justify that they still talked, they were still friends, only if felt as if she was drifting further and further away.
Suddenly the world changed again, and this time she was the one trapped in the tree, looking out at herself. The face infront of hers molded to her mothers, her eyes glaring angrily at her.
"Mom," Azula released a chocked sob, running to her. But she was trapped, and bang as she might on the field that separates them she couldn't get out. "Mom please let me out," she said, somehow know she knew how to do it.
Only, her mom shook her head, laughing. "Why would I let you out?" She asked, her lips forming a smile that never reached her eyes. "So you can terrorize more people, cause more irrevocable damage?" Her mom walked up to the transparent field, her smile fading as her face became cold and unnerving . "Everything you touch burns Azula, you're a monster."
People appeared behind Ursa, children from her school. They laughed at her, all while repeating the word: monster, monster, monster.
AN: we are back! I have the plot outlined and am working on creating a schedule that I won't follow anyways so yay