AN: yay I'm back. I hope y'all enjoy this chapter, it's one of the darker ones. I may have been making Ozai better than I did in previous books but he's still an abuse I've peace of shit.

TW for abuse! Please skip past the first section if that makes you uncomfortable. It will be mentioned in the second but not explicitly written.

NOTE THAT OZIA IS ABUSIVE. Not only physically but mentally. Perhaps he loves Azula in a twisted way, but that just makes it more fucked up. I don't know if I wrote this right because I haven't been or known someone who has been a victim of abuse, so if I did any severe misrepresentation please let me know and I will change it. I simply wrote how I thought the nature of the relationship would be however I don't really know anything but what I've been told (not from actual people I know). I don't want to misrepresent anything, or underrepresent it.

With that out of the way, let's get dark bitches *smirks evilly*

BOOK ONE: FIRE

CHAPTER FIVE: princess

Is being loved supposed to hurt so damn much?

Azula's hands gripped at the floor, her fingernails digging into the smooth wood as if she could tear it apart. Her face was blank, void of any emotion whatsoever. That was weakness, and her father didn't like weakness.

Infact, that's what she was here, not only for her disrespect but for her weakness. She was reminded of this as another slash of the fire whip hit her skin, causing her nails to dig ever deeper into the ground.

He was far angrier than Azula had ever witnessed, even at Zuzu's banishment. Infact, Azula expected the only reason she was alive was due to the fact she was his last heir, and without her he would hold little power in the fire nation. Just like her Uncle, a firelord without an heir was seen as weak, no one would be there to carry on the legacy once he died.

"Not only did you treat me with such disrespect, you did so infront of my council," he bellowed angrily. Ozai had difficulty controlling the council of nobles, as all the clans had power in the fire nation political system. He wished it wasn't the way but it was, and it meant he needed to earn their respect. He couldn't use fear, couldn't use bribery, couldn't kill them. Has Ozai realized the amount of control the council had he would have taken them out before he became firelord, a mistake he regretted ever day. Ozia hit her again, far harder than he intended to. The flame gauged deeply into her back, though the wound was burnt it still bled, a testament to how deep it had gone.

Azula's body shook with each hit, but she still managed to endure. Her arms hurt from holding her weight for so long, but it was better than crumpling over. Each hit sends more pain radiating through her body. Her head hurt terribly and vision blurred, but nothing compared to his next hit. She hadn't been expecting it, though even if she had it would hardly have changed the outcome. Perhaps it was a mercy that her vision blackened, that her back became numb as her body fell to the floor. If she could have felt the pain she would have screamed, would have cried out in such a display unbecoming of a princess. Instead she fell limply to the floor, the side of her face hitting it with a thud. There would surely be a bruise on her cheek, what would the nobles think if they saw it, she wondered.

Only, the thought was short lived as more urgent ones took its place. She couldn't move, and she briefly wondered if perhaps her father had accidentally killed her. Was this what dying felt like, she wondered through the mist clouding her mind. Her back was numb, no pain or heat radiating from where she had been hit, just numbness. Her fingers felt strange, tingly almost like when she was in the place between sleep and wake. The only thing she could feel was her cheek, pressed against the cook wood floor. Why the hell was it wood? she wondered, laughing dryly in her mind. It was probably treated as not to be flammable but still, the irony of the thought caused Azula amusement. Her whole body seemed to focus on the sensation of her cheek, she could feel the tear running down it. She was confused, why had she been crying? Had she been thinking of Ty Lee? Yes, she had, the acrobat would probably be the only one to truly miss her. She was dying, she decided, only as if to prove her wrong her heart began to beat again.

It was thumping loudly, maybe it had never stopped. Maybe Azula had simply only now become aware of it. She should have been relieved but she wasn't, she realized with fear. No, she almost wished she had been dying.

Week, the voice in her mind chastised her. It was right, Azula was week. So week she had fallen over and her body was now unable to move. The fog of confusion faught to claime her mind as well, but somehow it hadn't won out yet.

She felt her fathers presence by his side, heard as he kneeled down beside her. He sounded worried, ironic, she thought bitterly. She felt his pointer prod at her neck, looking desperately for a pulse. His hands were moist and sweaty, Azula wished he would just leave her alone. He was relieved when he found one, and Azula could almost feel it washing over her. Why would he be relieved, hadn't he done this to her? Though, the more she thought of it the more it made sense. It's not like Zhao could marry a corpse.

Zhao, her mind began to wonder to him. She had challenged him to an Agni Kai. Her blood boiled with anger, she wouldn't be able to fight him as she was. She may not have been sure the extent of the damage but her nerve endings were severely damaged. The muscle would be burned as well, she may never be able to fight him, the thought made her angry. He wouldn't know what happened, wouldn't probably think she backed down. People would think she was weak.

She twitched her fingers, trying to push herself from the ground indignantly. Her body refused to respond, but she kept pushing. Her father said something only the blood rushing to her ears made it impossible to hear. She flattened her palms on the ground, pushing herself from the cool floor. It was working, her arms shook as she hoisted herself up. She was so close, only the more she pushed the more the dog surrounded her. And, eventually her mind was forced to give in. Her body fell to the ground again with a thud, her mind descended into blackness.

Ozai stared at the motionless body of his daughter. He should have felt angry with her, for her weakness. Only instead he was angry with himself. He had allowed his emotions to fuel his flame and had damaged her, perhaps this time beyond repair, he worried. Perhaps seeing her like this, broken on the ground, reminded him that he actually did care. Not just about her worth to his diplomatic games, but her. Perhaps she was his weakness.

He saw Azula begin to push herself from the ground, and watching in horror as her body collapsed beneath her. Azula had never passed out before, she always managed to limp away without even shedding a tear. Only, he could see a wet spot under her eye, however small, it told him he had gone too far.

He bent down, robes protecting his knees from scuffing on the floor. A sweetly palm prodded at her neck, desperately searching for a pulse. As soon as he found one he let out a relieved breath, however only taking a small moment of victory. A pulse of electricity shot from her body to his, a sign his lightning had not fully left her system. Her fingers were twitching, somewhat that was far more worrisome than the burns and gashes along her back. The strike that was meant to be a shock was far worse. It would be difficult to move her, and, even if he could, the palace physicians would not be able to do much for his daughter. He sighed, knowing what he would have to do.

Azula wasn't sure how long she had been in the darkness, but when she clawed her way out and awoke it was too a strange feeling. She didn't know how to describe it really. It felt like the one time Ty Lee had chi blocked her, or the reverse of it maybe? Her energy was being directed throughout her body, as if someone was moving it for her.

Her back was no longer numb, and though there was an intense burning feeling it didn't hurt as nearly bad as it should have. There also seemed to be water flowing over it, soothing and cooling the burn. Infact, it almost felt like the water was healing the damage done, a thought that would have made her laugh if she could move.

She couldn't move, the thought sent fear coursing up her spine. Why couldn't she move? It wasn't as if she had just woken up, she wasn't in that suspended state. She tried to calm down, reminding herself that if she could feel her body she couldn't be totally screwed. And so, she focused on the feeling of water running across her back.

Azula always had a strange awareness of the element. It was as if she could always send it, where it was in retrospect to her. It was ironic since she was a fire bender, but she always felt more attune with it. She felt connected to it, and more than that, she felt as if she understood it. The push and pull, the way it slowly over time manipulated landscapes into formations. It controlled everything, all life levitated towards it. For, water was life, just as fire was the destruction of said life. Azula was never the life giving type, but she could understand the ebb and flow up it. Azula was of a sharp kind, and since being a small girl she used this to manipulate others. And she could feel the water now, manipulating her body into healing itself.

"She will be fine," the voice of an elderly women spoke into the room. Up until now azula had thought it was just her and the women working on her back, however the women was very clearly talking to someone. Her tone wasn't meant to reassure, instead it was filled with ange. "She'll be alright this time," she finished her thought. Her voice held tones of anger as well as sadness, but without being able to see her face Azula couldn't deduce much. "Like Umi, her body will only be able to handle so much."

Umi, Azula scanned her memories, wondering if perhaps she had known the women. She had to, right. She remembered her mother using the name, though in what context she couldn't place.

However, a familiar voice called her from her thoughts, forcing her body to tense ever so slightly, a sign that she wasn't fully paralyzed. " Azula is far stronger than she ever was, '' her father said, voice raspy with lack of sleep. Still, the fear she felt didn't lessen. Infact, it worsened. She was overhearing her fathers private conversation, he was going to be so mad. Only, she couldn't retreat back into her mind and couldn't block out what they were talking about. And so, she stared helplessly at her eyelids as she listened.

"That may be so, but a child can only take so much," the woman hissed at her father. Azulas eyes widened, lids still over them and thus the expression unreadable. However she was shocked. Whoever this woman was had just spoken to her father in such a way, a way that could be punished with death. Azula waited for the smell of burning flesh only if never came, instead she heard her father sigh before speaking.

"I would never mean to harm Azula, I love her," he admitted to the woman. Ironic, Azula thought, considering he harmed her very often indeed. Only, the bitter thought left as soon as she realized what else he said. He said he loved her? She couldn't be sure, but it sounded like he said he loved her. No one had ever said that to her, at least not that she could remember. And Azula's memory was spectacular. After just the first five showings of love amongst dragons she memorized all the lines! Still, it must have been her mind playing tricks on her, right? Her father didn't love her, he was incapable of it. Love was weak and her father was not weak. Therefore he couldn't love her. It was as simple as that, only the sincerity in his voice spoke otherwise.

The humorless laugh caused Azula to break her train of thought and perk her ears. "Funny how you show such things, firelord," she used his title as an insult, mocking it almost. Azula was surprised her father didn't kill the women on the spot, interests piquing. She was even more surprised when the women continued speaking. "You claim you loved her mother and yet it was you who killed her. You claim you love her and yet you constantly abuse the child." The water was removed from her back as the woman grew angry, no longer trusting of her control.

Azula's eyebrows would have knit in confusion, that is if she had any control over her facial muscles. Instead she just wondered what the hell this healer woman was talking about. Ozai never loved her mother, Azula knew this for a fact. Though he may have thought fondly of her sometimes, the majority of the time Ursa was on his bad side. Azula bore witness to the yelling and abuse that took place. She knew that wasn't love.

So how is what he feels for you any different? The small voice in Azula's head chimed in. Azula shook the question away, trying her best to ignore the aching in her chest.

What the woman said furthered Azula's belief that Ozai had in Fact killed Ursa, something she had known but refused to admit. Only, the next words that came from the womens mouth confused her beyond no point.

"You cared for Ursa two. Not as much as her mother though and perhaps that's why she was spared a painful death," the woman was eerily calm now, and the water was once again on Azula's back. Except she couldn't feel it. It was as if her body had gone numb, as if she was no longer one with her physical form.

What had she said? Why had she said it like that? It almost seemed to imply - no, it couldn't. Right? Right? Suddenly all those times Ursa had mumbled about "her mother" made sense. Still, Azulas, refusing to believe it or force herself to bear witness to the rest of the conversation, In her shock and confusion she slipped back into the darkness of her mind.

When Azula awoke again it was to the feeling of a warm, delicate hand brushing her hair from her face. She felt the slightly calloused skin run along her cheekbone, the familiarity of the touch calling her closer. Her eyelids fluttered open slowly, making out a female figure sitting above her. Her eyes were golden brown, shining in the dim light of the princesses chambers.

Yes, Azula had been moved back to her chambers shortly after the healer had finished with her. Her father had sat by her side for the past few hours, but upon being summoned away had left her alone. Only, she wasn't alone anymore.

The women looked apon her with loving gaze, her fingers gently tracing the line of the girls face. It had been so long since she had seen her, since she had been able to touch the girl. The baby fat that used to cover her face was gone, her cheekbones and jaw structure far more prominent.

Raising Azula her favorite times with her would be when she was sleeping. She was so peaceful, not attempting to start or get into anything. She wasn't trying to impress her father or torture her brothers, Irsa always felt as if they real Azula was the one she saw when the child was sleeping.

She had come to the capital with the news, worried about her son and daughter. Knowing Iroh left with her son she had decided to stay and monitor the situation with Azula. However, it became far worse than she ever could have imagined. When she saw Ozai escorting the water healer to the palace she knew something terrible had happened to her daughter. She still didn't know the details, know one in the palace seemed to, but she had grown worried enought to sneek into the crown princesses chambers.

Normally she wouldn't have been able to do it, however the palace was far more crowded this past week due to the current situation in the palace. They had come to a descision, only even with her connections Irsa was unable to figure out what it was. Still, if it came down to finding out what it had been and staying with her daughter as she recovered, she would gladly choose this any day.

She saw Azula's eyes flutter open slightly, widening one they saw and blinking rapidly. Ursa knew she would have to leave, she couldn't have her daughter seeing her. And so, after placing a kiss of the girls forhead she vanished into the night, the only evidence she was there the red stain on her daughter's forehead.

Azula could have sworn her mother had been here, only her mind was in such a state were she couldn't remember much. Still, she remembered the smile, the touch. Only maybe it had never happened, Azulas mind had tricked her before. Even if Ursa was alive, what would she care, Azula wasn't her daughter anyways. Azula knew that was true, she remembered the conversation between her father and the healer very clearly.

Azula sat up slowly, her body no longer hurting but feeling far heavier than it should. Once she was upright, her back flat against her headboard, she began to assess her situation.

Azula wasn't Ursas daughter, this was a fact. Azulas mother was a women named Umi, a name Azula hadn't ever remembered hearing. She was dead, Ozai had killed her. But why? What Azula felt now was more than curiosity. She felt angry that she had been lied to, and motivated to find the truth.

Adrenaline flowing through her veins she rose on shaking legs from her bed. She was wearing a simple tunic and leggings, her hair disheveled and her crown lay on the table. She reached down to touch the golden trinket, running her fingers across the surface. The crown dignified everything she was, which as she thought about it was such a sad thought. If all she was was a princess, and the truth was she wasn't even that. She was simply the illigitamate daughter of the firelord, she may have had a claim to the thrown because of her blood, but she wasn't a princess. So who was she?

Her fingers left the crown, pulling her hand back to her body as if she had been burnt. She may not know who she was, but she was going to find out, and she knew where to start. Only she didn't know how to get there, she was far too recognizable. Even if she stole a maids uniform people would notice her, not to mention there would be questions. There was only one other option, she could use the tunnels.

They ran through the palace, in case the royals needed to abandon the palace in an attack. The old royals were truly paranoid people, they even built a bunker under the caldera. Of course all of this was abandoned, and so it was Azula would be able to use them to sneak out. Only, she didn't know the layout of the passages, she hadn't ventured into them since she was a child. Still, she supposed she would just have to figure it out.

And so Azula moved the painting aside, making her way into the intricate labyrinth that ran through the palace. Luckily for her she knew were she was heading once she got out. After all, there was only one place she would find waterbenders in the caldera. And so, she started her journey to the Brothel, determined to find the women who had healed her. Then she could finally get some answers.

An: yayy, can't wait for the next chapter and the finall arc of book one!! You should definatly review :)