.
Chapter Sixteen
The Daybreak and the Happy Ho'Din touched down on Zihrent without incident, landing under cover of darkness. Anakin could feel the hangar hidden under a canopy of tall trees. He leaned over Ben's shoulder as his grandson maneuvered their ship into the hangar. "You guys have a lot of secret bases. I've never even heard of this place."
Ben powered down the engines and flipped a few switches overhead. Additional cabin lights flickered on. "Aunt Leia was very thorough when she took the Order underground. She made contingency plan upon contingency plan."
Anakin peered out at the enormous tree trunks shielding the base. "Smart."
"Come on," Ben said, motioning for Elias and Arden to follow as well. "Let's get everyone settled."
The others grabbed their gear while Anakin, who had only a borrowed lightsaber and the clothes on his back, strode down the open ramp to get a better look at their new home.
The hangar was very old, made of huge blocks of gray stone that had been reinforced over time by durasteel supports. A control room overlooking the hangar looked like a relatively new addition; he thought he recognized the faded seal of the Republic above the bank of windows. Under the control room was a large doorway about seven or eight meters wide that probably led into the base. He sensed only two lifeforms in the entire base, not including the occupants of the two freighters.
"No one to meet us?" someone called out from behind him. Anakin turned to see a gray-haired man crossing the distance between the Ho'Din and the Daybreak. He guessed that this was Ulin, the slicer who had piloted the Ho'Din here. Ben, who was walking down the ramp with Arden and Elias, reached out and gave the man a firm handshake.
"Someone's in there," Ben said, "but I don't know who. We've never been to this base before."
"Neither have we," Valin said as he and his children appeared behind them. Little Carin was staring at Anakin as if he had a second head. He felt a pang of guilt at the realization that she and most of the other children had witnessed his fight with Ben on Tatooine. He wondered what explanation they'd been given. Then he noticed two more familiar faces coming toward him, and the feelings of guilt intensified.
Davin and Dolan walked just ahead of Tahiri, still bleary-eyed from sleep; but they froze when they saw Anakin. At least he thought they were looking at him, although they didn't run to greet Ben as they had done before, so maybe it was him they were reacting to. Either way, his actions had affected them, and that was bad enough.
Tahiri placed a hand atop each of their heads and ruffled their hair. That small gesture of affection seemed to relax them. "I've never been here either, but Leia said she left it in the care of someone with unwavering loyalty."
As if on cue, two figures appeared in the doorway at the end of the hangar. They were non-human, but it wasn't until they came closer that Anakin realized he was completely unfamiliar with this species. They were shorter than the average human but more powerfully built; everywhere he looked on them he saw muscle. Their skin was dark gray, and their faces had a somewhat feline aesthetic. Every part of them looked dangerous, especially the needle-sharp teeth that poked out of their mouths.
Anakin noticed that while a few of their companions – Arden, Karanya, and the children – seemed as surprised as he was, the rest of them looked downright pleased to see the base's inhabitants. To his left, Ben stepped forward to greet them.
"I'm Ben Skywalker," he said, extending his hand. The taller of the two creatures took his hand and pressed the back of it against his flat nostrils. It – he – let out a happy sigh and released Ben's hand.
"We are pleased to welcome you to Zihrent, Ben Skywalker, son of Luke. I am Deekmawr clan Eikh'mir, and this is my companion, Matabakh clan Kihm'bar. We are here to serve you and the Jedi in any way possible."
"Thank you, Deekmawr," Ben said. "Right now we need food and a place for our younglings to sleep. We're also expecting another group of Jedi within the hour. I don't know what your supply situation is?"
Deekmawr grimaced – at least that's what it looked like, although his tone was nonplussed. "We have plenty for all. Please allow us to escort you inside."
By now the occupants of both ships had joined them, forming a dense semi-circle around their hosts. Deekmawr and Ben had turned to go into the base, and the displaced Jedi began to follow. As he started forward, Anakin noticed Matabakh sniff the air and then look at him out of the corner of his – or her – eye. He waited until Matabakh looked away before moving again.
The rest of the base appeared to be as old as the hangar, if not older. Deekmawr and Matabakh led them down several winding corridors before stopping at the entrance to a large room where tables had been set up in long, narrow rows. The mess hall, most likely. There were hallways branching off from each corner of the room. Deekmawr pointed to the hallway opposite them.
"Sleeping quarters are that way. The other two paths will take you to training facilities and spare rooms for any purpose." He looked at the children. "After your younglings are settled, we can show you to the council room and the command center."
Ben looked impressed and mildly amused. "We haven't had an official council room in years."
"The Mal'ary'ush wanted the Jedi to be equipped to survive, but also to remember."
It sounded a little cryptic, but Anakin thought he understood what the gray alien meant.
Tahiri stepped forward, still holding Davin and Dolan's hands. "Thank you both for watching over this place. I think we'll get some food for the kids and then let them rest."
Karanya and her children helped guide the younglings to the closest set of tables while Valin and Tahiri went with Matabakh to get the food. Anakin hung back with Elias, Arden, and Ulin. Ben was conversing quietly with Deekmawr.
"So, what now?" Anakin heard Arden say to Elias.
"Now we enjoy our new home until Ben or the Council tell us it's time to go," Elias said.
"I won't complain about being out of danger, but after the last week it seems kind of… boring? For the Jedi, anyway?"
Anakin surprised himself by butting into the conversation. "You'd be amazed at how boring the Jedi can be." And in that moment, he realized that he actually missed the Order, the one he'd grown up in. He missed the tranquility of the Room of a Thousand Fountains. He missed the lectures on Jedi history that seemed so useless to a young boy who'd blown up a starship by age nine. He missed the way he used to see Jedi meditating all over the Temple, like they could find peace anywhere, even amidst a group of rowdy Padawans playing ball. His Order wasn't perfect, and it had driven him crazy sometimes with all its rules and traditions; but it had in many ways been his family. And he had betrayed them.
Anakin shook his head to clear it. Elias was describing to Arden just how boring Jedi training could be, while Ulin edged closer to the tables. Tahiri, Valin, and Matabakh were returning with trays and a couple of pots.
"Younglings first," Tahiri said, eyeing Ulin. "You'll get your turn, old man."
Ulin chuckled and held his hands up in surrender. "Yes, ma'am."
Anakin waited until everyone had been served before taking a tray. One pot contained some sort of stew; the other looked like a variety of rice. Anakin took a helping of each and looked around at the seated Jedi. The ones who weren't busy inhaling their food were engaged in lively conversation. Children laughing, joking around. Adults looking relieved to be safe and to see the kids smiling. The muscles in his chest tightened. He didn't belong here with them.
Without a word, he slipped out of the mess hall and began to navigate the network of corridors that had brought him here.
.
.
"Master Veila." The voice was a soft purr at her elbow. Tahiri put down her spoon and shifted so she could better see the speaker.
"Matabakh," she said. "How can I help you?"
The Noghri woman shuffled closer. "You wanted to know when the other Jedi arrived."
Tahiri looked instinctively toward the exit, then back at Matabakh. "They're here?"
"Yes, ma'am."
She reached out with her senses, and sure enough she sensed a ship approaching the hangar. A little nudge in the Force was all it took to get Ben's attention and motion for him to join her.
"So," she said once he was within earshot, "do you want to be the welcoming committee, or shall I?"
Ben glanced down at the twins seated next to her. "I guess I'll go. You stay and finish your meal."
It was truly fascinating how well children could eavesdrop even when they were deep in conversation.
"No, Ben! Stay here!" Davin's attempts to retain Ben were aided by Dolan, who tugged none too gently on the hem of Ben's jacket. "Please!" the boys said in unison.
Even though he tried not to show it, Tahiri could see how happy Ben was to be at the center of his cousins' affections again. "I'll go greet the newcomers," she said with a smile.
Ben looked up at her as he sat down between the twins. "Thanks," he said.
Tahiri shrugged. "No problem." She followed Matabakh back to the hangar and waited while the newly arrived ship set down behind the Daybreak and the Ho'Din. Once the steam had settled, she trekked across the hangar, the Noghri guard still at her side. They reached the ship as its ramp opened; on the other side was Myri Antilles.
The younger woman came down the ramp and pulled Tahiri into a hug. "Long time no see, eh?" she said, winking for good measure.
Tahiri grinned. "Well, to be fair, we didn't get much downtime back at Haven."
"She's just giving you a hard time," Syal Antilles called down from the top of the ramp.
"I can handle it," Tahiri replied. "So you brought the Force-sensitive children and left the Denon younglings with Jysella, correct?"
"Yes, ma'am, that is correct." Myri tilted her cap to the side and pulled it down snug on her head. "And we brought a few surprise guests."
Tahiri looked skyward and pretended to think. "Hm, I wonder. You wouldn't be talking about Geridan Ames, Tredo Kohr, and Allana Djo, would you?"
Myri whistled. "Very good!"
Tahiri tapped a finger against her left temple. "They didn't make me a Jedi Master for nothing." She glanced up at the ship. "How is Kohr, by the way?"
"Doing much better," Myri said.
"Yeah," Syal interjected as she joined them at the bottom of the ramp. "So much so that he wanted to fly the ship. Ha!"
"He still needs rest, though," Myri added. "Orion said that was the one condition for bringing him here, that he had to get plenty of rest."
Tahiri nodded. "I think we could all do with some rest. Come on; let's unload your passengers and join everyone else in the mess hall."
Behind her, Tahiri heard Matabakh make a soft, grunting noise. Then she realized Allana was striding down the ramp. The Noghri moved forward and bowed in front of her.
"Welcome, Princess Allana, granddaughter of the Lady Vader." When Allana extended her hand, Matabakh took it and breathed her scent in deep. Satisfied, the Noghri woman released Allana's hand. "I am Matabakh clan Kihm'bar."
Allana's smile was warm and genuine, but also regal. Tahiri wondered if she had any idea just how much she resembled Tenel Ka. "Thank you, Matabakh. But please, call me Allana. I'm not a princess anymore."
Matabakh bowed once more. "If you so wish it, Lady Allana."
The other passengers – Ames, Kohr, and the five non-Jedi younglings who'd been rescued from Vjun – had assembled behind Syal and Myri, waiting.
"All right, kids," Myri said. "Ready to get some food?"
No answer, but there were smiles on two out of five faces, which wasn't a bad start. Tahiri and Matabakh led them all to the mess hall, where the members of the Tatooine enclave were still gathered. "Help yourselves," Tahiri said. Kohr and Ames didn't have to be told twice. In the blink of an eye they were holding food trays, bickering over who got to scoop their stew out first. While Syal and Myri helped the newly-arrived younglings, Allana found her way over to Tahiri's side.
"So," she said nonchalantly. "Where's Anakin?"
Tahiri frowned and scanned the room. "I don't know. He was here when we started eating." At least she thought he was. "Maybe I should go look for him—"
"No, no, that's okay," Allana said. "I'll find him. It's no big deal, I just wanted to say hi."
Tahiri smiled as Allana turned to walk away, and she thought how sweet it was that even though the girl had no idea who Anakin really was, she was still drawn to him. The Force truly worked in wondrous ways. And if it was the Force that had brought Anakin here, then Tahiri hoped it knew what the hell it was doing.
.
.
She found him in a far corner of the hangar, sitting in front of a rusted binary loadlifter, his dinner tray held loosely in both hands. It looked as though he'd barely touched his food. Allana sat down next to him and took a long, conspicuous breath.
He glanced over at her and smirked. "Subtle."
Allana grinned and nudged his shoulder with hers. "So why aren't you in the mess hall with the others?"
Anakin looked down at his food and shrugged. "Guess I wanted to be alone."
"Oh."
"Hey." He returned the nudge and smiled at her. "I'm glad for the company."
Allana played with the hem of her sleeve, smoothing out the creases in the fabric. "I actually came here to thank you," she said quietly. "For helping me with that Sith. I owe you one."
She heard the gentle clang of the dinner tray setting down on the duracrete floor. Anakin turned to face her. "Allana, you don't owe me anything."
"But I… you saved me." Didn't he understand that this was important? "Look, I know there's not much I can do to repay you, unless I somehow happen to save your life, but I've got to at least try, right?"
He stared at her for a few seconds, and she could see something sad behind his smile.
"What?" she said.
"You did save me," he said. "Twice. You found me on that cliff and came back for me. And inside, when I attacked that boy… you saved me from myself."
Allana looked away, unsure of how to respond. Okay, sure, maybe she'd helped rescue him from the cliff, but the other thing? She hadn't really done anything; all she'd done was tell Anakin to stop choking Festus, and anyone could have done that. "It's no big deal," she said. "You probably would have stopped on your own."
"No," he said, "I wouldn't have."
Allana hesitated for a moment. Guess I already knew that, didn't I? Still, it was a little unnerving to hear him admit it out loud.
"He used to be a Jedi," she blurted out without fully knowing why. Maybe to steer the subject in a different direction, or maybe because she didn't like the awkward silence that had crept up between them.
"Who did?" Anakin said.
"That Sith Lord, Darth Festus. Well, I guess he wasn't technically a Jedi, just one of the kids in the enclaves. I was too young to really know him; I only have one or two memories of him. He and his twin brother were captured by the Sith a long time ago." She vaguely recalled something about a transfer between enclaves that had gone horribly wrong. "I think I remember him being nice. His brother was kind of a jerk, but he was nice." Allana paused and took a long, steadying breath. "Sometimes I still can't believe how much the dark side can change a person."
The sadness surrounding Anakin grew heavier. "Sometimes the dark side brings out what was always there."
His words might as well have been a punch in the stomach. "I don't think I can accept that," she said, trying to control the waver in her voice. And why couldn't she accept it? Because she had memories of a good person and couldn't reconcile them with the monster they'd become? Because she needed to believe redemption was possible, even if the case seemed hopeless?
She realized she wasn't thinking of Festus anymore, but of another Sith Lord, long gone. Allana pressed her lips together and stared out across the hangar.
"I'm sorry about your father."
"How—?" Allana snapped her head around to look at Anakin. "How did you know I was thinking about him?"
"It's who I would have been thinking of."
Allana shrugged. "It's been over eight years since he died. And before that I barely knew him. I lived with my mother."
A twinge of pain amidst the sadness. "But you loved him," Anakin said quietly.
Allana tried to answer but couldn't get the words past her lips. She nodded in response.
"I'm sorry. We don't have to talk about it if you don't want."
"It's okay, I don't mind." She took a deep breath to contain the tears that had crept up on her. "I don't really talk about my parents much. It makes people uncomfortable."
"What about Ben?"
Allana looked down at her tunic and went back to playing with her wrinkled sleeve. "Him maybe most of all."
Anakin leaned over and nudged her again. "Well, you won't make me uncomfortable. Talk away."
She felt her cheeks redden. "I don't know, it's not like I have some speech prepared or anything like that." Now that she finally had the space to open up, she was at a loss for what to say.
His eyes lost focus for a moment, as if he was recalling some distant memory. When he looked at her again, his expression was warm, if a little bittersweet. "Tell me about your mother."
She smiled down into her lap as an image flashed through her mind, unbidden but certainly not unwelcome. Her mother kneeling in front of her, her only hand cupping Allana's cheek gently as she sang her favorite lullaby. Beautiful copper hair arranged in Dathomiri braids. Fierce gray eyes that softened only for her.
"She was…" A queen. A Jedi Knight. Proud Dathomiri warrior, noble Hapan beauty, stoic and strong and devoted. A hero. She was all those things, and they were all wonderful and important parts of the incredible person who was Tenel Ka Djo. But they were things Allana knew mostly because she'd been told about them. Her own memories were… different. Quieter.
Allana looked up at Anakin. "She used to sing me lullabies every night before bed. They were spells from her mother's clan on Dathomir – the Singing Mountain Clan." She caught the slightly puzzled look on Anakin's face and tried to clarify. "The witches of Dathomir used incantations to channel the Force. My mother trained as a Jedi under my great-uncle Luke, so she didn't have a need for the spells; but I think the lullabies were her way of teaching me when I was very little. Introducing me to the Force, even though she'd left the Order."
That seemed to spark Anakin's interest. "She left the Jedi Order?"
Allana nodded. "She had to put her people first. Hapes needed its Queen Mother."
She knew she should feel proud of her mother for making that choice, and a small part of her was, truly. She was proud of the strong sense of duty, the unshakable determination that her mother was famous for; and she liked to think that maybe some of those qualities that made Tenel Ka such a fierce queen had been passed on to her daughter. But the choice itself, the choice to leave the Order and focus everything on Hapes – well, it hadn't exactly worked out in Allana's favor, had it? She never blamed her mother for everything that went wrong, but she couldn't help wondering sometimes what it would have been like to be born outside of the shadow of the Hapan court, free of the intrigue and death threats and constant speculation about her paternity.
It would have been nice to be acknowledged as Jacen Solo's daughter before his name became synonymous with evil.
"A queen, huh?" Anakin lowered his gaze and smiled, laughing a little, as if at his own private joke.
His smile shook her from her attempted melancholy. "What? You don't believe me?"
He looked up at her, and some of the earlier sadness seemed to fade. "I do believe you. I just think it's funny."
Over the last fifteen years, she'd been on the receiving end of a lot of comments regarding her royal heritage – some good, some less than complimentary – but never once had anyone said it was funny.
She must have been making a weird face at him, because his smile widened. "Not you," he clarified. "I meant the Force, or maybe the cyclical nature of life. I don't know, it just makes sense. Of course you'd be a princess."
"I'm not a princess." She wasn't like her mother in that way. Hapes had given her a few nice memories in a sea of terrible ones, and she'd never felt a strong sense of loyalty or duty to it or its people. Since they'd exiled her as a child, clearly the feeling was mutual.
"I'm sorry," Anakin continued, sobering a little. "I didn't mean it like that. I was thinking of how much like your grandmother you are."
Allana still wasn't quite sure what he was getting at or why he was giving so much thought to the Hapan royal family. Her grandmother Teneniel Djo had died before Allana was born, and the less said about her great-grandmother Ta'a Chume, the better—
Oh. He meant Grandma Leia. She relaxed a little and gave him a teasing look. "I guess I can't go wrong if I remind you of the great Leia Organa Solo."
"Well, I actually meant your great—" He cut himself off abruptly, an odd look passing over his face. "You know what, never mind."
She was about to question him further when she caught sight of someone hurrying across the hangar, a friend she hadn't seen in ages.
"Hey, Kala Di!" Allana waved the older girl over and smiled up at her. "It's been a while. How are you?"
Kala Di Nal smiled in return as she jogged over and stopped in front of them. The tan, dark-haired girl put her hands on her hips and sighed. "Hanging in there. I was finally getting used to Tatooine." She looked out toward the open hangar entrance. "But I guess this is more like home, with all the trees."
Allana leaned toward Anakin. "Kala Di is from Dathomir, same world my mother's family comes from. Well, her mother's family, anyway."
Anakin nodded, looking up at Kala Di. "I grew up on Tatooine. Trust me, you won't miss it."
Kala Di acknowledged Anakin with a wary glance and shrugged. "I liked the sunsets."
"Yeah," Anakin said a bit wistfully, "I guess they weren't bad."
Allana smiled up at her friend. "What's got you running around in here? I thought everyone was eating?"
Kala Di shifted slightly. "Ben needs something off the Daybreak. He asked me to get it for him."
Allana fought the devious grin itching at the corners of her mouth. "He asked, or you volunteered?"
The look Kala Di shot her was nothing short of murderous. Her lovely tan cheeks turned pink as she took a step backward. "My mom volunteered me, actually. And I'd better get a move on. Don't want to keep him waiting." She turned away quickly and waved over her shoulder, calling out "See you!" in a tone that was a little too cheerful.
Allana noticed Anakin frowning at Kala Di's retreating form. "What?" she said.
He shook his head. "I feel like I'm missing something here. Does she like Ben?"
Allana let loose the grin she'd been holding back. "Oh, Kala Di adores Ben. She's been in love with him since we were kids."
"She's a little young, isn't she?"
"I guess, yeah. I mean, she's nearly eighteen. But it's not like Ben even notices. He doesn't really notice anyone that way. Too busy being the protector of the Jedi. Too busy being my protector." She rolled her eyes a little and shrugged.
That same sadness from earlier started to curl up around Anakin again. "Maybe he's protecting himself. The more people you love, the more you have to lose. And he's lost a lot."
She understood why he would say that, she really did. But Ben didn't have a monopoly on tragedy, not by a long shot. "We've all lost people we love," she said, a little harder than she meant to.
Anakin paused and shifted next to her. "Did you know I was married before I came here?"
Allana looked up at him, startled. "No. You never mentioned…"
He nodded, hands fidgeting restlessly where they lay in his lap. "I had a wife. We were going to start a family, and then I lost her. I would have done anything to save her. Sometimes I think—" He drew in a long breath, as though preparing for a deep, deep plunge. "—I think that I still would do anything if it meant I could get her back. That kind of devotion… that kind of attachment… it's dangerous. When you bind yourself to someone else like that, and you can wield so much power… what stops you from deciding her life is worth more than all the others?"
He turned to her then, clear blue eyes burning intense from under his troubled brow. She wasn't sure if he was asking the question to teach her something, or if he was still searching for the answer himself. She met Anakin's gaze, and she thought she understood now why every action, every glance, every word he spoke seemed tainted by sorrow. The loss of his wife, of his family, was etched so deep in him that he couldn't separate himself from it even if he tried.
There was a strange flutter in her chest, and she felt suddenly unbalanced, as though she'd stumbled upon some sort of cosmic tipping point and was teetering on the edge of it. She wondered if Anakin sensed it, too.
"I guess," she said softly, carefully, "I guess the thing that stops you… is understanding that she's not worth more. That none of the people we care about are worth any more than all the other people in the galaxy. We're all a part of the same universe, the same Force, right? And… and even if it might feel like losing someone precious to you is too much to bear, you have to realize that you can survive it, and you can keep moving forward."
He sighed, and the universe swayed. "It sounds so easy when you say it, but it's hardly ever that simple."
We're just talking, she told herself. That's all this is.
"I don't know if it's simple or not," she said. "I just know it's wrong to treat people like they're expendable, like they're less important just because they aren't someone you love."
He shook his head slowly. "It's not fair," he murmured.
Allana stared out across the hangar, at the open door overlooking a forest that was only just beginning to awaken. She leaned her head against Anakin's shoulder. "I know," she said gently. "None of it is."
She felt him tilt his head to rest against hers. "You would have liked her. My wife. And she would have loved you."
She found his left hand and grasped his fingers in hers, squeezing just a little. "I'm sure I would have loved her, too."
.
.
Once the meal was over and all the children had been taken to their quarters, Ben made his way to the hangar and climbed up on top of the Daybreak, where – with the shield doors open – he had a decent view of a distant, tree-lined hilltop. The sun was just beginning to peek out from behind it. He hadn't been sitting there long when he felt a familiar presence on the ground behind him. Ben leaned over the back end of the ship to greet his visitor.
"How do you like Jedi living?" he asked wryly.
Arden Veiss craned her neck to look up at him. "It's definitely interesting, that's for sure. Mind if I join you?"
He'd been hoping for some solitude, but what the hell. "Come on up."
A moment later, she appeared through the ship's top hatch. "Checking out the repairs?"
In truth, he'd forgotten all about the repairs that had been done while they were at Haven. "Nah, just catching the sunrise."
Arden sat down next to him, not too close but not so far away as to be awkward. "So, what am I supposed to call you now? Master Skywalker? Master Jedi?"
"Ben is fine," he said with a chuckle.
Arden made a face. "Can I keep calling you 'Captain'?"
"If you really want to."
"Sorry, it just feels weird. Being on a first name basis with a living legend."
Ben winced. "Arden, I'm not a legend."
"Sure you are. Jedi Knight, outlaw, son of Luke and Mara Skywalker. They used to have a Skywalker Watch on our local news to report sightings."
Ben raised an eyebrow at her. "Skywalker Watch? They must have had you all pretty terrified of me."
Arden shrugged. "They called you a terrorist. All of the evidence we saw supported that." She offered him a small smile. "I know better now."
"So, you and Elias… you guys are okay then?"
"Yeah, I think so. It's hard to stay mad at someone so adorable." She hesitated for a moment, inhaling deep as she gazed down at the hull beneath her. "Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure."
Her eyes found his again. "What happened on Yalena?"
Ben pursed his lips and stared out at the line of trees in the distance. "You want to know why Elias won't talk about it."
Arden looked down at her lap, then back up at Ben. "It must have been bad if he can't even say—"
"It was. It was really bad."
Arden shifted next to him, and Ben realized he hadn't actually given her an answer. He bent one knee to his chest and propped an arm on it, leaning forward to run a hand across his chin.
"That Sith Lord on Vjun, Doctor Mezzon? He used to have big time support among the other Lords." Ben glanced sideways and saw Arden watching him intently. "They gave him whatever he wanted: credits, victims, you name it. Yalena was his fortress. Our mission was to stop him and to rescue the Jedi he'd kidnapped.
"We couldn't save everyone, but we managed to get most of the kids to our ship. My mom was cut off, surrounded by the Sith. I didn't realize it until it was too late, but that was their plan all along. They wanted to take down my mom. Figured it would cripple us. And it nearly did."
Arden let out a long breath, almost as though she'd been holding it. "I'm sorry."
Ben shrugged, trying to shake off the weight of that terrible day. "You don't have anything to be sorry about. It's not your fault."
"So, this Sith doctor – he experimented on the children?"
Ben nodded. "It was pretty horrible. Elias was only sixteen when we went in there. I think it just hurts him too much to remember."
"And he's never talked about it? Not even to you?"
"No, I was so focused on my own loss at the time that I wasn't much help to him. We just threw ourselves into the next mission, and then the next one, and the next one." Ben gestured toward the rest of the base. "And now here we are seven years later."
Arden looked down at her hands and clasped them together. "I wish there was something I could do to ease his burden or help him get past the pain."
Ben shook his head a little and frowned. "Some things I don't think you ever get past. You learn to live with them, but they never really go away."
"You don't think that sounds kinda defeatist for a Jedi?"
"That's reality," Ben replied. "Elias may never tell you what he experienced on Yalena, but that doesn't mean he's broken, or that he doesn't trust you. In fact, he's been pretty happy lately."
A smile tugged at the corners of Arden's lips. "You think so?"
"Yeah, I do."
Her smile widened, and then she laughed.
"What is it?"
"This is the longest conversation we've ever had. Didn't realize you were such a conversationalist."
Ben raised an eyebrow and allowed himself a small grin. "I have my moments. Don't tell anyone."
"Wouldn't dream of it." She hugged her knees to her chest and leaned back. "So, what's next for all of us here?"
"You mean what's next for you?"
Arden shrugged. "Both?"
"You don't have to stay here, you know. Syal and Myri will probably leave soon. Ulin, too."
Arden's demeanor went from friendly to reserved. "I get it. Jedi only."
"That's not what I meant," Ben said. "All I'm saying is, I know you didn't sign up to be a Jedi rebel when you joined my crew, and I don't expect you to stick around. But if you do want to join us, that doesn't mean you have to stay cooped up in this base, either."
"Thanks, but I think I'll stay here for now. I didn't have much going on before I met you guys, and apart from the whole secret Jedi thing, things have been pretty good. Besides, I'm not sure what use I'd be to you on the outside. I'm not a super spy or an ace pilot or a slicer."
"You're a decent gunner," he conceded.
"Well, that settles it. The Daybreak needs me." She stood up and stretched as the sun's rays began to illuminate the entire forest. "One last question."
"Shoot."
Arden's grin had disappeared. "What's going to happen to the kids Myri and Syal brought here, the ones who aren't Jedi?"
"We'll try to find their families, but chances are they were already orphans or lost their families to the Sith. So I guess we'll help them heal and then go from there." Ben sighed and offered a half-hearted smile. Arden returned it before treading carefully across the hull to the top hatch. As she lowered herself in, she looked back at him.
"She must have been pretty amazing. Your mom."
"Yeah," Ben said, his throat tightening around the words. "She was."
Arden disappeared down the hatch, leaving Ben alone once more. He stared at the open hatch, trying not to go back to Yalena and unable to think of anything else. His mom hadn't been the only Jedi who died that day, and in light of the horrors he'd witnessed, it seemed almost trivial to prioritize her death over the others; but he couldn't help it. If he could change one thing about that day – and one thing only – it would be to bring her back.
Was he really so different from Jacen after all?
He laid back flat against the hull, reaching up with both hands to cover his face. I'm sorry, he tried to tell her, unsure if she would hear, if she could hear. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so damn sorry.
He laid there for a long while, letting the sun warm him.
.
.
At Allana's insistence, Anakin went to see Karanya Nal to ensure that his wounds were healing properly. Though not technically a healer, she seemed to possess an aptitude for it. She determined that he would need a few more days of rest and little activity for his injuries to completely heal, but with a fresh application of bacta he was free to go.
Anakin pulled his jacket back on and left the medical center to find Allana waiting patiently just outside the door. When he didn't say anything, she frowned at him the way his mother used to when admonishing him.
"Well?" she said.
Anakin adjusted the collar of his jacket and tugged the sleeves down so they covered his wrists. "I'm doing better. Should be bandage free in a couple days." They began to walk side-by-side down the corridor in the direction of the mess hall.
"So, are you going to tell me what happened on Tatooine that got you even more beat up?"
Anakin cringed inwardly. "I wasn't planning to," he admitted.
"Don't trust me, or don't think I can handle the truth?"
Anakin stopped walking. He was beginning to understand what Obi-Wan must have gone through all those years. Withholding information from a teenager was exhausting. "What do you think happened?" he said, an edge of exasperation seeping into his voice.
Allana had stopped also. "I don't know," she said. "That's why I'm asking you."
For a moment he considered telling her everything – about the fight with Ben, about being her great-grandfather, about wanting to protect her from the dark side and all the evil in the galaxy.
About her father being alive.
He was spared from answering when he noticed Kala Di Nal jogging toward them. The look she shot Anakin wasn't exactly friendly, but it was better than the way she'd looked at him in the hangar, like she was expecting him to murder everyone in sight. She didn't waste much time on him, though, as she turned to speak to Allana.
"You haven't seen your cousins lately, have you?"
"No," Allana said slowly. "I haven't had a chance to see them at all yet. Why, what's up?"
Kala Di looked more than a little annoyed. "All the younglings are supposed to be resting in their quarters; but I just did a room check, and we're missing six, including Davin and Dolan."
"That's not surprising." Allana looked up at Anakin. "We'll help you look. Who else are you missing?"
Kala Di counted them off on her fingers. "Savl Horn, Lomm Vedii from the Tatooine enclave, and two of the kids who arrived with the Antilles sisters. A Togruta girl and a human boy – blond, I think. Both pretty young. I don't remember their names, just what they looked like."
Anakin closed his eyes and reached out through the Force. The base really was a labyrinth, but he recalled what Deekmawr had said about a wing of spare rooms. It didn't take long to find all six of them there, playing in one of those rooms.
"Did you check the north wing?" he asked, opening his eyes.
Kala Di cast an embarrassed glance at Allana before looking up at Anakin. "Which way is north?"
Anakin resisted the urge to shake his head. He supposed that was another effect of his years spent fighting in the Clone Wars, moving from planet to planet. Without thinking about it – and having spent only a few fleeting minutes in view of the surface – he had acclimated himself to Zihrent's geography and had a fairly clear sense of direction, even while underground.
He turned a little and nodded over his shoulder. "Back that way."
"Not yet," Kala Di answered. "Do you sense something?"
Anakin smiled at her. "They're all there. First room you come to."
Kala Di sighed. "Thanks. Sometimes being around all these kids makes it hard to focus." She turned to leave, but Allana reached out to touch her arm.
"Why don't we go with you? I should say hi to the twins, and you might need help getting all six back to their rooms."
Anakin saw naked relief in Kala Di's eyes. "I appreciate it, thanks."
The three of them made their way to the north wing, and sure enough, the six missing younglings were in the first room. The council room, Anakin realized as the door opened. In the middle of the room, four of the children were arguing over what to play.
"We already played ball," Valin's son, Savl, was saying. "I'm bored with that." Next to him a dark-skinned boy with short, curly hair was nodding in agreement.
Davin and the Togruta girl looked at each other. "Well, we don't want to play cards, so…"
The four children realized they weren't alone, and they turned in unison to face the doorway. "Busted," Savl whispered.
Anakin tried not to grin. He looked around the room and saw Dolan in the far corner with the blond boy. It looked like he was demonstrating how best to throw a ball.
Kala Di planted her hands on her hips. "You guys are supposed to be resting in your rooms." She turned her attention on the two older boys. "Savl. Lomm. You two know better."
"Sorry," they muttered as they shuffled toward the door. Davin, Dolan, and the two rescued children followed suit. As they left the room, Allana placed a hand on each of the twins' heads.
"What am I now, a nerfherder?" she said with a smile.
Davin and Dolan exchanged glances before attempting to knock Allana over with a group hug. "We missed you," Davin said.
"Really? I couldn't tell." Allana regained her balance and hugged each of them individually. "What have you guys been up to since I last saw you?"
"We got to hang out on Booster's ship for a few months," Dolan said.
"And then Master Horn took us to Tatooine for a few days," Davin added.
"And now we're here."
Allana ruffled their hair. "And already making trouble, I see."
"We're making friends, too," Dolan pointed out.
Davin held his index finger above his head. "And that's important."
Anakin hung back to give his grandchildren space while they walked together; he allowed himself a genuine, unguarded smile as he watched them interact.
Maybe there was hope for this future after all.
"Excuse me, Master Jedi." A tiny voice drifted up to him as he felt a gentle tug on the hem of his jacket. He looked down to see the little blond boy. He wasn't great at guessing kids' ages, but this one looked about five or six.
Anakin knelt down in front of the boy. "Sorry, I didn't see you there. Are you okay?"
The boy nodded and looked at him with wide, anxious brown eyes. "Can you take me back to my room?"
Anakin experienced a slight twinge in the pit of his stomach. "Sure, I can." He stood up and offered the boy his hand, but the boy didn't take it. There was something very solemn about the way he held himself that made Anakin wonder what kind of life he'd had before being kidnapped by the Sith. As they followed after the others, Anakin looked down at the child. "I'm Anakin," he said. "What's your name?"
The little boy kept his gaze forward. "My name is Roan."
For some reason, Anakin thought of the first time he'd met Obi-Wan, after they'd narrowly escaped that mysterious Sith Lord on Tatooine. He remembered how wide-eyed and excited he'd been to meet another Jedi Knight, how his entire future had seemed like an open expanse of shining, golden promise. Pretty much the opposite of what he sensed from the little boy next to him.
Anakin inclined his head toward the child and tried to put on his most reassuring smile. "Pleased to meet you, Roan."
The boy glanced up at him for only a moment, his lips twitching as though he wanted to smile but had forgotten how. The pit in Anakin's stomach opened further.
"Hey," he said, resting a tentative hand on the child's shoulder. Roan jerked ever so slightly, but he didn't pull away. Anakin inhaled and pressed on. "It's going to be okay. I know everyone always says that, but it is. The people here really care about you, and they're not going to let anyone hurt you ever again."
The boy nodded. "Thank you," he said.
"No problem." Anakin pulled his hand away, and they walked the rest of the way in silence.
.
.
The rest of the day was uneventful. Meals were eaten, children played, Knights and their apprentices trained and sparred until they were sore. Under the protection of the old base and the pair of Noghri who guarded it, the Jedi could sleep soundly and peacefully. As night fell over Zihrent, only a few remained awake, if not vigilant.
Anakin Skywalker, alone in his new quarters, afraid to fall asleep.
Tahiri Veila, watching over the twin boys she'd raised from toddlerhood, thankful that she'd been able to return to them.
Ben Skywalker, trying once more to reach his parents somewhere in the netherworld of the Force, only to receive no answer.
The little blond Vjun survivor, Roan, who had slipped from his bunk and snuck out of his quarters without waking the other boys.
Roan made his way to the empty room he and his new friends had found earlier that day. No one would walk in on him in here. He rolled down the waistband of his pants and ripped out the tiny comlink that had been sewn into the fabric.
"Papa," he whispered into the device. "I'm here. I activated the beacon like you said."
There was only static for several seconds, and the boy grew worried that his papa wouldn't hear. Then the static cut off abruptly, and he heard someone take a breath.
"Good work, my son." His papa sounded pleased. "We're on our way."
.