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Chapter Twenty
In the Embrace of Pain, time has no meaning.
He could hang there for hours, for days, for weeks, even, and never know the difference. Isn't that a little strange? How quickly time ceases to matter here. How it stretches on endlessly, and he's nothing more than a blink of light in some vast and terrible void. That might not be so bad, he thinks, if it weren't for the pain.
He doesn't know how long he has been here. Long enough that he can no longer scream. His throat is raw from it. Raw and tired and…
He feels him, then. Coming closer now.
"Look at me, Ben."
A hand grabs his chin, forcing his head up. That motion sends more pain wrenching down his spine.
"Tell me you understand now," his tormentor says. "Please tell me you understand."
He can barely feel his lips much less make them move to form words. His entire body, down to the last nerve, is a jumble of unrelenting agony. The man before him – his master, his flesh and blood – stares directly into his eyes. A wholly different but no less effective torture.
"When this is over," he says, "you'll understand why I did this, and you will stand by my side as you once did."
Another spasm courses through him. He feels water on his face and becomes dimly aware that he is crying, sobbing, losing control of even the most basic functions.
In the midst of the pain, he feels a faint flicker of heat, a burning light at the end of a long, dark tunnel. It builds and builds, a blazing fire poised to become an inferno, and he realizes he knows that feeling in a way. His cousin takes notice of the powerful heat as well, and the overwhelming agony ceases.
"Uncle Luke."
The new presence is angry, angrier than he's ever felt it; but it's also tightly controlled. The voice, though deadly, is the most beautiful thing he's ever heard.
"Release my son."
He falls to the floor, free of the organism that has trapped him for Force only knows how long. As he lifts his head and cracks his eyes open, he sees his father walking toward them, hands empty at his sides, the fiercest, most frightening expression he's ever seen on his face.
"I was only trying to educate him as I was educated," his tormentor says with maddening calm.
His father's voice is cold as death. "Vergere's methods were brutal, and I'll never say they were right – but she never meant to break you."
"And yet I was broken, wasn't I? Broken and reforged into something greater, able to reach a plane beyond even your understanding. I am making Ben strong, stronger than you or I could even imagine. Think of it, Uncle Luke. A galaxy where our family can be safe forever, a galaxy where your son is the reason for that safety."
"Is he going to keep us safe from you?" A new voice echoes in the chamber, and two more figures appear from behind his father. Jaina's lightsaber is activated at her side, and next to her Jag Fel holds a blaster rifle in his hands.
He can practically feel the smile twisting his cousin's lips. "Three against one? That's hardly fair, Jaina."
The building rumbles and quakes underneath him; Ben recognizes the impact of several concussion grenades going off at once.
"We have a little more than three," Jaina says. Jacen tenses for the first time since they arrived.
"It's not enough to stop—" His words are cut off as Ben's father raises a hand and sends the Sith Lord flying across the room. The moments after are a tangle of sensations and images that he barely has time to experience let alone process—
Fear as a pair of hands lift him from the floor. A glimpse of his dad moving past him, not even sparing him so much as a glance. Jag's arms and Jaina's hands, alternately pulling and pushing him out of the chamber as sirens wail and the building trembles around them. Kicking against them, begging them to go back. The comlink on Jaina's hip suddenly alive with chatter, with a voice he knows better than his own.
"Do you have him?" his mom says. The sound of her is like a wire pulled taut, but never breaking.
"Yes, we're almost to the platform!"
Bright, blinding light exploding in his eyes; he's isn't sure if it's fire or daylight, but Force it hurts. He stumbles, hardly able to feel his legs beneath him. Jag lifts him; he doesn't have the strength to keep fighting against his grip. Somewhere inside him, in the place where his father has always been, he feels a gentle touch – a hand pressed to his cheek, so strong and so final.
"Almost there, Ben," Jaina says, her voice close to his ear.
His feet hit cold durasteel, sloped upward, ridged at intervals… the ramp of a starship. They drag him up that ramp and inside, and right as they're about to set him down, he feels it happen.
All the torment – the toxins in his veins, barbs prodding his flesh, the Embrace twisting and pulling him in every unnatural direction – none of that compares to the gaping hole that tears wide in his center, the rift created by the sudden and violent disruption in the Force that can mean only one thing.
He realizes he was wrong. He can scream, and he does. He falls to his knees, half-blinded by tears as he screams and sobs and reaches desperately for the brilliant star that is his father, knowing already that it's in vain. His star goes supernova, and the shock wave in the Force is so massive that he thinks it might swallow him whole. He drags his fingers along the deck, digging in, curling them into fists that slam down hard against the floor; and he swears that no one else will die to protect him, and that he'll never leave anyone behind ever again.
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The Mon Calamari Star Cruiser Harbinger drifted in orbit over the third planet of the Troxar system. A veteran of many great and terrible battles, it nevertheless endured and now led a motley assortment of warships culled from all across the galaxy. From the Rebel strongholds in Sith territory to the last remnants of the once expansive Galactic Alliance, the call had been answered, and in greater numbers than could have been predicted. Just as their forebears had discovered decades ago when they came together to smash an empire – and just as the Jedi had discovered as recently as Zihrent – they knew they weren't alone, and that they had more strength together than they realized.
Ben sat in the cockpit of the Daybreak, staring out the viewport as Elias piloted the freighter toward the Harbinger. The Mon Cal cruiser's long lines and sloping curves filled him simultaneously with awe and dread. The sight was always an impressive one, and yet Ben couldn't help being reminded of the last time he'd seen one of these ships, breaking apart in atmosphere over Coruscant.
Still, the fleet Syal had assembled at Troxar was impressive. In addition to the Mon Cal warships that made up the bulk of the fleet, Ben saw dozens of Corellian corvettes, a few Dreadnaughts of varying design, a Galactic-class battle carrier, and several ships bearing prominent MandalMotors insignia. There were even a few older Chiss clawcraft running patrols alongside the more familiar X-wing and A-wing fighters. He hadn't realized there were so many people out there still fighting. And to think that they would risk so much so quickly when one of the last defiantly independent systems was threatened, that they wouldn't hesitate to act… well, that, too, filled him with equal parts awe and dread.
Elias guided the Daybreak into one of the cruiser's hangar bays, and the Jedi and their companions disembarked and were led to temporary crew quarters. Myri said they were still waiting on a few rebel cells, including a Hapan battle group that had splintered from the Consortium following Allana's exile and had since grown to include the scattered remnants of several worlds' defense fleets. They were supposed to be coming from somewhere in the Inner Rim – a tricky proposition, with how those hyperlanes were patrolled – but once they arrived, the attack would commence.
There was a subdued, yet oddly hopeful energy in the air as Ben and his companions made their way through the cruiser's corridors. It crackled in the Force around him, as potent as static electricity charging the air during a storm. Many of the crew members they passed took notice of the lightsabers that hung from the Jedi's belts, and the warmth that radiated from them in response was a balm on a wound Ben hadn't even realized he carried with him.
Tahiri stopped their little group at a juncture and motioned for Anakin to join her. "You're coming with me to medical," she said, hooking her thumb toward the intersecting corridor. "Need to make sure you're cleared for combat."
Ben was surprised when Anakin didn't try to argue the point. His grandfather raised one eyebrow at Tahiri, in what seemed more reluctant acceptance than anything else, and followed after her in the direction of the medbay. Ben and the others made their way to the crew's quarters and were shown to their rooms. Kohr and Ames ducked into one, arguing over who would get which bunk, while Elias and Arden quietly slipped into another, faces reddening a little as they realized he'd noticed; Ben thought about reminding them that this was only a brief stay, but he decided not to embarrass them further.
He turned to his own quarters and stepped over the threshold, closing the door behind him. The space was small and way too bright, but it was clean, at least. He crossed to one of the room's two bunks and dropped his bag on it, then allowed himself to sink down onto the thin mattress. He took a breath that didn't quite fill him, and leaned forward to rub his hands over his face.
"Tell me you understand now. Please tell me you understand."
He dug in with his fingers, pressing harder against his brow, as if doing so would scrub the words from his mind forever. He didn't understand. He would never understand, just as he would never be able to rid himself of the memory of that day, or of his foolishness in thinking that he could have made any kind of difference and somehow prevented every terrible thing that happened after.
Next to him, something inside his bag beeped; were it not for the stillness of the room, he probably wouldn't have noticed it. Ben glanced over at the bag, wondering if there was anything in there beside his datapad that would make that sound. He rifled through his bag and retrieved the device, frowning as he realized that he had an unread message that was several hours old and that he didn't recognize the sender. Had it been beeping intermittently in his bag that whole time? He must have been too preoccupied to notice.
He tapped the screen to access the message, then nearly lost his grip on the datapad when a hologram of Allana appeared before him. Her eyes rose toward his, and he almost asked her what was going on, before remembering that this wasn't a live transmission, but a recorded message she'd sent hours ago. His heart was suddenly in his throat as he took in her serious expression, and he knew then that, no matter what she had to say, there was no world in which he was prepared to hear it.
.
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Anakin navigated the cool white corridors of the cruiser with a renewed sense of purpose, having thankfully been cleared for combat by the Rebel medics. He and Tahiri had fallen into a silence that he would almost describe as amicable as she led him back toward the crew's quarters.
"This is Ben," she said, stopping in front of one in a long line of identical white doors. "Get some rest. We'll be shipping out soon."
Anakin offered a small smile and nodded in return. "You too."
Tahiri sighed, and her eyes held the faintest trace of amusement. "I probably should," she said with a laugh. "I feel like I haven't slept in days."
Anakin grinned just a little. "I know the feeling."
The Jedi Master studied him for a moment, her expression still guarded, but warmer now, like it had been on Zihrent. "You'll be all right," she said.
They were the same words she'd spoken at Haven, just before the healer's assistant had led him away. When he'd been so broken he could barely function, and her words had rung hollow in his ears. "Yeah," he said, feeling a surge of strength as he raised a hand to the door's keypad. "I think I will be."
Tahiri's only response was a small nod, and then she turned away and walked back the way they'd come. Anakin watched her for a few seconds before keying open the door.
Even though Ben's presence was hidden in the Force, Anakin could tell something was wrong the moment he walked into the room. His grandson was sitting on the edge of his bunk, one hand covering his mouth as he leaned forward over his knees. He didn't look up, not even a little.
"Hey," Anakin said, watching him closely for a reaction. "Everything okay?"
Behind his hand, Ben took a long breath. "Yeah," he mumbled, rising from the bunk as he stared down at the floor. He looked like a man operating in extreme gravity, sluggish and heavy, focused so much on the effort of staying upright that all else was beyond his notice. "I'm going for a walk," he said, only half turning to look at Anakin as he moved toward the door.
"Ben," Anakin tried again, stepping into his path. "What is it?"
Ben shook his head. "It's nothing. I just need to get out of here. Too small." And with that, he sidestepped Anakin and left the room, closing the door behind him.
Anakin stared at the door for a few seconds, an unshakeable sense of dread crowding around his heart. Ben had been a bit dispirited ever since they left Zonama Sekot, but this was… this was something else. He was considering whether or not to give chase when he noticed the datapad lying on Ben's bunk. It wasn't like him to leave something personal lying around; he was usually more meticulous than that. Was this the cause of his sudden mood shift?
He knew he shouldn't look at it, that whatever it contained, it belonged to Ben and Ben alone. But he had never been very good at following rules.
He snatched the datapad off the bed and saw that there was a message from an unknown sender, one that had been received hours ago but only recently played. Anakin activated the message, his eyes widening as Allana's miniaturized form appeared before him. She stood with her hands clasped in front of her, and there was a slightly sad but knowing smile on her face as she began to speak.
"Hello, Ben. By the time you receive this message, I will no longer be on Zonama Sekot. I discovered something after you left, something you might not even believe." Her lips pressed in a thin line for a moment before she continued. "My father is alive. He's… he's Krayt. Darth Krayt is my father. I know it sounds completely crazy, but I promise it's true. And he's on Coruscant right now, not at Bakura like you all thought."
Here she took a deep breath, and Anakin breathed with her.
"I've made a decision, Ben. I'm going to Coruscant to face him. I know there's still good in him. There has to be, and if I can help him see… then maybe all of this will finally end."
Allana smiled again, briefly, before sobering once more.
"I know it probably sounds hopeless, but I have enough hope for the both of us. For nearly as long as I can remember, you've been looking out for me and trying to protect me, and I want you to know how grateful I am for that, and for you. But you don't have to protect me anymore. I'm a Jedi Knight, and this is my destiny."
Allana reached out with one hand, and the recording ended.
He didn't know how long he stood there staring at the datapad's empty screen; his next awareness was of running through the starship's corridors searching for any sign of Ben, or for anyone who could point him in the right direction.
He stumbled upon him almost by accident when he found himself deep in the belly of the ship, close to its hangar bays. Anakin passed a few of those bays before coming to the one that held the Daybreak.
Of course, he told himself, irritated that he hadn't thought to come here sooner.
He entered the otherwise empty hangar bay and found Ben standing alone near the energy shield, staring out into open space.
"Were you even going to tell me about this?" Anakin said, holding up the datapad.
Ben turned around, eyeing the device with a look somewhere between bitterness and exhaustion. "I hadn't thought that far ahead yet," he said, not quite making eye contact.
"Hadn't thought—?" Anakin cut himself off and pressed his lips together as he tried to rein in his temper. "We have to go after her."
Ben did make eye contact then, and under those layers of fatigue and strain, Anakin saw something new, something truly distressing.
Despair.
His grandson's face twisted in a grimace. "And do what, Anakin? Storm the fortress, like we did on Vjun? Because that ended up working out so well, didn't it?"
Anakin took a step toward him. "Ben, we can do this. You and me, together—"
"Haven," Ben said, cutting him off. "Zihrent. Bakura. Tahiri and the others warned me about going to Vjun, but I didn't listen. Because I'm a Skywalker, and that's what we do, isn't it? We don't care about the rules or the reasons or what's best for everyone; no, we follow our feelings and say that it's the Force, as if that makes it all okay. I did what I felt was right, and now within a week we've lost nearly everything we had; and half of the kids we rescued have been recaptured and might be dead for all we know. And Allana—" Ben reached up to his chest and gripped his shirt between his fingers as his voice began to break. "She has no idea what she's walking into, and I didn't listen… I didn't listen to Tahiri or Myri or anyone because I was too busy pretending I could be my dad instead of being there when she needed me—"
"She needs you now, Ben. Come with me."
Ben laughed, then – an ugly, mirthless laugh that sounded almost as much a sob to Anakin's ears. "You're talking about the capital of the whole damn Empire," he said. "They built their fortress on the ruins of the old Jedi Temple. He'll be surrounded by his minions; we wouldn't even get close to him."
Anakin fought the tremor in his hands and the desperate heat rising in him, that inner voice that screamed at him to take action. "You can't let her go alone."
"This wasn't my choice," Ben said, flinging his hand toward the energy shield and the stars beyond. "She knows she's not strong enough to take on any Sith Lord, let alone the Master of them all."
"That was before she knew he was her father!"
Silence fell between them, and Anakin realized his hands were outstretched, pleading, begging. Ben looked down at those hands, then turned away to stare out at the star-studded black of space.
"She's going to get killed. Are you willing to stand by and let that happen?"
Ben whirled on him, brow creased by an intense fury. "I'm not just standing by. Did you forget what we're here to do? I have a duty to protect the Jedi Order. This is where I'm supposed to be."
"What about your duty to protect your family?"
"I am protecting my family. Stopping the Sith at Bakura and staying far away from Jacen – that's how I keep Davin and Dolan and everyone safe. My mom died trying to save a group of younglings on Yalena. She gave her life for the future of this Order, and if I put any of its children in jeopardy, then she died for nothing."
"If we don't do something, Allana will die for nothing."
Ben's face contorted as he turned quickly away. He crossed his arms in front of him, unable to disguise the fact that he was shaking.
"I know you don't want to do this," Anakin said as earnestly as he could, right hand still outstretched. "I know you want to save her. Come with me."
Ben bowed his head and shook it. "I can't," he gritted out.
"Why not?"
When Ben finally turned back to face him, his eyes were clouded and fearful. "I can't face him," he said, jaw clenched tight. "I don't trust myself to face him, do you understand?"
That fear in Ben's eyes… Anakin knew it intimately; he carried it with him at all times. Fear of the dark side, of himself and what he was capable of. Fear of loss, of not being able to protect the ones he loved. He stared into those eyes and saw such a clear reflection of himself in them that he was desperate to look away. Instead, he steeled himself against Ben's haunted stare and reached a hand out to touch his grandson's shoulder.
"You're not him. You're not me. You're stronger than us, I know it. I've seen it. Help me save her."
Ben shook himself free from Anakin's grip. "You don't know me. I don't believe what Allana believes, that there's still good in him. And even if there is, I don't care." A sudden and cold fury lit across his face. "I want him to suffer like they did and then die alone and broken. I want the last thing he sees in this world to be me, spitting on his face, right before I stab him through the heart." Ben's voice faltered, and the muscles in his jaw and neck flexed as he fought to regain control. "He killed my dad. He took everything from me. I want to return the favor, and I know I shouldn't. I know what the Jedi way is, and what I want… that's not it. So don't ask me to face him, because even if I make it out of there, it won't be me anymore. And then no one will be safe."
"Ben, you there?"
Valin Horn's voice broke in between them, cracking the mounting tension. Ben blew out a forceful breath as he retrieved his comlink with shaking fingers. "Yeah, go ahead."
"Syal wants you on the bridge."
Ben stared back at Anakin and inhaled deep. "On my way." He slipped the comlink onto his belt and started to step away from the energy shield. Anakin reached out to catch his arm, but his grandson shrugged him off. "Don't," the other man warned, pace quickening as he hurried out of the hangar bay.
Anakin watched him go, realizing that the datapad was still clutched tight in one hand. He looked down at it, the need to act vibrating through his entire body. He held the device up and replayed the end of the message, watching Allana's face closely as she gazed up at him.
"I'm a Jedi Knight, and this is my destiny."
The hologram faded, and Anakin stared at the place where it had been. Finally, he flung the device onto a nearby storage container, pacing back and forth as he rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. He was the wrong person to do this, Chosen One or not. He couldn't be trusted to stay calm or detached; this was his granddaughter, his connection to the daughter he would never know, to the wife he still loved more than anything. He'd been willing to sacrifice the Jedi Order for Padmé. What would he do to save Allana?
Would he call on the dark side, if it came to that? Would he embrace the power that lay coiled just beyond his reach, the power he had sampled for so long? He knew he could. It would be all too easy.
For three years the citizens of the Republic had called him the Hero With No Fear, and he had done everything in his power to prove them right. But he hadn't been able to rid himself of his fear then, and he couldn't do it now.
Anakin glanced over at a pair of X-wing fighters parked near the Daybreak, absently reaching for his borrowed lightsaber as he did so. His fingers brushed against the metal casing, and a memory came to him unbidden.
"Even if it might feel like losing someone precious to you is too much to bear, you have to realize that you can survive it, and you can keep moving forward."
Maybe Allana was right; and if she was, did that mean saving her was wrong? Was he supposed to let her go? Wasn't that what Yoda had been trying to tell him that day not so long ago – and yet somehow it seemed a lifetime had passed since then – as they sat in meditation, caught between shadows and light? Wasn't that what Obi-Wan had tried to teach him as they observed a shattered star? Life is impermanent. To hold onto something past its time is selfish. Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose.
All things die, Anakin Skywalker.
No, he told the insidious, whispering voice in his head. Just because everyone dies, that doesn't mean it's her time now. That doesn't mean I have to let her go without a fight, not when I can still save her.
Sekot's words returned to him, speaking in Jacen's voice: "Isn't it your calling as a Jedi Knight, to be a guardian of peace and justice? To protect those who cannot protect themselves? To be a light against the darkness?"
If he just let someone go anytime the dark side seemed too strong in him, then what kind of Jedi was he really? What kind of hero? What kind of father could he be if he wasn't willing to face his own darkness and rise above it?
Anakin dragged both hands over his face before looking once more at the X-wings. He was talking himself in circles; the truth was, he didn't know what the right choice was. He might never know. But he knew what choice he was going to make – what choice he would always make when it came to the people he loved.
.
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When Ben entered the bridge, he found Syal and Valin huddled together at the curved, sweeping viewport, heads bowed over a datapad. Syal had changed into a dark blue uniform, the rank insignia on her chest indicating a much higher position in this loose alliance of rebels than Ben had realized. He stopped at a respectful distance and threw her a lax salute, forcing the encounter with Anakin out of his mind. "Commander Antilles."
Syal looked up at him, one eyebrow raised, her mouth pressed in a hard line. "Knight Skywalker," she returned, nodding for him to join her. "We've received the latest intelligence report. Looks like the Eradicator is definitely in orbit over Bakura with the rest of the fleet."
Ben scanned the report, sensing that wasn't the only reason Syal had called him up here. "What am I looking—" He blanched as his eyes fell on a name listed near the top of the report. Of course, he thought. "What's Mezzon doing on Krayt's flagship?" he said, lowering his voice. "He's never gone anywhere near the front lines in the past."
"We think he's using Eradicator as a mobile fortress. More efficient." Syal's mouth twisted in a grimace around the word. "Immediate processing of all the Jedi and Force-sensitives they plan to capture."
Ben almost didn't read any further, he was so sickened at the thought; but then he saw another name he knew. "Orion Tivas? You're sure this is right?"
"This came from Myri's top people. If they're sure, I'm sure."
Ben inhaled slowly. "Then the kids who were captured with Orion at Haven—"
"Are being held on the Eradicator, yes."
He handed the datapad back to Syal. "Who's leading the rescue?"
She raised one eyebrow. "We thought you would."
His response was interrupted by a terse voice behind him. "Pilot, that craft has not been cleared for departure. Identify yourself."
Ben and the others twisted toward the viewport and watched as a single X-wing broke away from the fleet and made for open space. His stomach lurched at the familiar presence in that starfighter…
"I'm just taking it out for a spin," Anakin said, the forced casualness in his voice not quite masking the hard determination Ben sensed underneath. "Don't wait up for me."
The officer at the comm clearly wasn't amused. "Pilot, that craft has not been cleared. Identify yourself immediately."
There was a moment's hesitation, and Ben got the distinct impression that Anakin was smirking at them.
"This is Anakin Skywalker. Clear me or don't clear me; it doesn't matter. I have somewhere to be."
Ben stood frozen in place as the entire bridge watched the stolen X-wing disappear into hyperspace. The crew grew still, waiting to see how their commander would react. Syal turned ever so slightly toward Ben.
"Did he just say Anakin Skywalker?" she asked, her irritation and disbelief evident only in the slightly clipped manner of her speech.
Ben felt every eye on the bridge staring at him, but in that moment, he was less worried about the truth of his grandfather's identity being revealed than he was about what was going to happen when Anakin reached his destination.
"It's a long story," Ben said under his breath.
Syal shook her head and looked out at the stars. "Any idea where he's going?" she said with a sigh.
Ben hesitated for a second, his stomach knotting tighter with worry; but now was not the time to hold back.
"Coruscant," he replied. "To rescue Allana."
Syal and Valin both turned toward him in surprise. "What?" Syal said. A few of the crew members turned suspicious eyes on Ben. He tried to ignore them.
"Allana left me a message. She found out the truth about her father and decided to confront Krayt at his fortress on Coruscant."
Syal and Valin exchanged uncertain glances. "But Krayt is at Bakura," Valin said.
Ben shook his head. "I'm not sure. My feelings tell me he's on Coruscant, that this was his plan all along."
Valin's eyes were wide. "His plan?"
How could he explain without sounding crazy? He wasn't even sure how Jacen could have planned it all, but there'd been too many coincidences. Secret enclaves discovered within weeks of each other, Allana learning the truth and going to confront her father on the eve of the first major battle in years.
Anakin following after her, right into the dragon's lair.
Ben felt a pull in the Force, a call that echoed in a part of his mind he'd long since closed off. It was the place where Jacen had once been, where their bond had taken root and grown. The same place his former master had used to invade him and tear him down from the inside. Ben tried to recoil, tried to throw up every mental barrier he had; but for the first time in over a decade he found himself reaching out across time and space, seeing through his tormentor's eyes, feeling the pure, twisted joy as the news Jacen had waited so long for arrived.
Ben gasped and pulled back. White light filled his vision for a moment, and he felt several hands on him, lifting him. As his sight began to clear he saw Syal and Valin and several others standing around him. A pair of arms looped around him from behind and began to hoist him up.
"Ben?" he heard multiple voices say. The one behind him was Elias, who must have just entered the bridge; Ben tried to look over his shoulder at his friend.
"Easy there," Elias said. "You okay?"
Ben glanced at the concerned faces around him. "I think so," he said.
"What happened?" Syal asked quietly "One minute you're talking to us and the next you're on the deck."
Ben leaned against Elias for support as he got his feet back on the ground. The sick feeling in his stomach returned. "She's there," he said, breath quickening. "She's there, and he knows it." Why had he left her on Zonama Sekot? He was so stupid; he hadn't learned anything. He may as well have handed her over to the Sith himself. He tried to sift through the currents of the Force, uncertain whether what he'd seen had already happened or if he'd glimpsed a rapidly approaching future. He couldn't be sure, but the vision was so immediate, he knew there was nothing that could change it now.
"Ben, did you see something?" Valin asked, grabbing his shoulders. "Ben! What did you see?"
Ben's mouth went dry. "Jacen is on Coruscant," he said, "and he has Allana, or he will soon."
"What about Bakura?" Syal said, still keeping her voice down so as not to frighten her crew. "What's his plan?"
Ben shook his head. "I don't know, I—" And then it was clear. So clear he wondered why he hadn't put it together sooner. "He needed us apart," he whispered. "He knew he couldn't take us both together, and he knew I'd never go to him on my own, not after what he did to me."
Valin frowned. "So he's setting a trap for you?"
Ben stared out the viewport at the space where Anakin's X-wing had vanished just moments ago. "No," he said. "Not for me."
.
.
"My Lord?"
In the pitch black of his private quarters, Darth Krayt opened both eyes, staring into the nothingness before him. "I told you not to comm until the boy arrives," the Master of the Sith said softly.
"It's about the boy, my lord."
Darth Krayt rose from his bed slowly. "What about him?" he said, voice lowering to a growl.
On the other end of the comm, Sivren hesitated a moment before continuing. "Lords Ferrus and Festus boarded the ship, but the boy was not there. They found the Jedi princess instead."
"Allana." The name escaped his lips in a quiet gasp, the first slip of the tongue in many years. If Sivren noticed anything strange about his master's reaction, he didn't betray it.
"Yes, my lord. She surrendered herself to them willingly. They are bringing her here and should arrive within the hour."
Willingly. He was filled with an emotion he hadn't experienced in over a decade. Something akin to joy, something that resonated in his very bones. Finally, finally, she was coming back to him. He was so close now, so close to reuniting his family. Allana was coming to him, and he would show her a world beyond anything she could imagine.
Of course, they wouldn't be alone. The Sith Master sensed something in the back of his mind, a presence he'd not felt in years. He smiled in the darkness. As mangled and broken as it was, the bond between master and apprentice was still a two-way street. Ben had shown him everything he needed to know.
"Tell Lord Festus and Lord Ferrus to bring the princess to the throne room when they arrive. And get me Lady Varice."
"Yes, my lord, right away."
The comm crackled for about thirty seconds before Darth Varice spoke.
"What is thy bidding, my master?"
"Contact Lord Dominius, and tell him the Rebels are moving to strike at Bakura as expected. When that is done, put our defenses on alert. We're expecting company."
"The Jedi, my master?"
The man once known as Jacen Solo smiled as he called his lightsabers to him. He'd been disappointed in Anakin Skywalker the first time around. Time to see if his grandfather could prove why so many had feared him.
"Just one Jedi, Lady Varice. Just one."
.
.
Ben turned the lightsaber over in his hands, running his fingers over the scored and battered hilt. Despite all the abuse it had taken – banging against its master's hip day after day, being dropped and thrown more times than anyone would care to count – it still endured, still shone like a beacon in the dark. He had never wielded it himself; in truth, he'd never felt worthy. Once the Sith abandoned Yalena, he returned for his mother and found it lying next to her in the rubble. Both of them cast aside, like garbage. He took her body with him, gave her a proper funeral, and put the lightsaber away.
Beside him, Artoo whistled. Ben turned the lightsaber over again and stared at the switch beneath his fingertips.
"I'm not them, Artoo. I can never be them."
The droid's response was a sad, muted warble. Ben stood and slid the saber back into its place in Artoo's dome. He was about to sit back down when there was a knock at the door.
"Come in."
The door slid open, and standing on the other side was Tahiri.
Ben tried to breathe through the knot in his chest. "Here to say 'I told you so'?"
Tahiri stepped into the room and rested a hand on Artoo's dome, eyebrows furrowing. "Not at all."
Ben sat down on the edge of his bed and folded his arms across his knees. "She thinks she can redeem him."
"The way your dad redeemed Vader."
Ben shook his head, staring ahead at the bulkhead. "This is exactly what Jacen wants. Anakin is walking right into a trap."
"Maybe he already knows that."
Ben rubbed his eyes and sighed. "Am I a coward?"
"What? Why would you ask that?"
When he finally looked up, he saw something like heartbreak in Tahiri's eyes. He tried to look away but found that he couldn't.
"Why can't I face him?" Ben asked. "My dad was able to. Aunt Leia and Jaina were able to. My mom would have if she hadn't been looking after me all those times. Even my messed-up, time-traveling grandfather is going after him. So why can't I?"
Tahiri was silent, and he felt the weight of that silence crushing down on him. He stood abruptly and turned away from her, clasping his hands behind his head.
"I know what you're thinking," he said after a moment.
When she spoke, Tahiri's voice was hoarse. "Do you?"
Ben nodded and began to pace. "You warned me about excluding Allana, and now she's as good as dead. I'm supposed to be her master, and I don't even have the strength to save her."
Tahiri took a small step toward him, just enough to get him to stop pacing. "What I'm thinking," she said, "is that you have more strength that anyone I know."
Ben's throat felt thick, like he might choke if he tried to speak. He shook his head. "You're wrong," he managed to whisper.
Tahiri's smile was unexpected. She reached out and touched his elbow. "You have been through hell and back more than once, Ben Skywalker. You have endured things most people couldn't imagine in their worst nightmares, and you survived. You survived, and you pressed on, and you've become a leader and protector of the Jedi Order. Not because of some birthright, but because of your compassion and your wits and your wisdom. If all that isn't strength, then I don't know what is."
Ben blinked several times, searching for the words to refute her. "Tahiri, I—"
"Ben," she cut him off gently. "I know what Jacen did to you. I know about the Embrace."
He closed his eyes and swallowed hard, willing himself not to go back to that place. When he opened them again, he fought to keep his hands from shaking. "How did you know? I never told—"
"I could never forget the marks left by the Embrace of Pain. As soon as I saw them on you, I knew."
Ben bowed his head. "I was so ashamed," he said through gritted teeth. "I know I'm not supposed to think that way, but I couldn't help it because deep down I knew it was my fault."
"Nothing that happened was your fault, Ben. Jacen betrayed you."
"I should have known better."
"How could you have?"
"I don't know!" He dropped onto his bunk and slumped against the wall. "I don't know."
Tahiri sat down beside him and took his hand in hers. "Ben, I want you to look at me and listen."
He did as she said. Sharp green eyes stared into his, softened once again by heartbreak. He realized suddenly that her sadness wasn't for anything she had lost – it was for him, for everything he'd suffered.
Tahiri took a deep breath. "You are not a coward. You were tortured by a man you trusted. You were traumatized, Ben, even if you never realized it. No one in their right mind would expect you to confront Jacen after what he did to you. You are not – nor have you ever been – a coward. Jacen is the coward."
He remembered the agony of the Embrace, the burning in his blood, and before he could stop himself, he found himself giving voice to the deepest, darkest urgings of his heart. "I want to kill him," he whispered.
Tahiri raised both eyebrows and glanced away for a second. "You're not the only one."
"Tahiri."
She looked up at him, and he held her gaze, the words shaking inside of him, rattling at his rib cage, desperate to tear down the walls he'd erected around his most inner self. He was terrified of being known, of letting her see the darkness in him; but he couldn't keep it in any longer.
"I want to kill him," he said, unprepared for the yearning he heard in his own voice. "I dream about it, Tahiri."
She reached up without warning and took his face in both her hands, as he'd seen her do with Davin and Dolan ever since they were small. As his own mother had done, long ago. And she smiled at him, a sad, knowing smile. "At the end of the day," she said, "it's what you do that matters most. Your choices. Your dreams don't decide who you are, Ben. You do."
She released him, then placed one hand over his heart. "You're not going to make the perfect decision every time. But I trust this heart more than just about anything or anyone living. You need to trust it, too."
He wanted to believe her; he really did. "You make it sound so easy."
"I wish it was," she said, lips curving in a rueful smile. "You can't hide from the choice, Ben. You look it square in the eye, and you tell the dark side to go to hell, because you serve the light or nothing at all."
It didn't banish his fears, not by a long shot; but he couldn't help laughing just a little. "Is that your Vong half talking?" he asked with a smirk.
"Yuuzhan Vong," she corrected with an affectionate, if long-suffering, smile. "And you know perfectly well that I'm not half-anything."
"No," he said. "You're definitely not."
She pulled her hand away from him and crossed her arms in front of her. "What was it Han always used to say to us?"
"'Never tell me the odds'?"
She rolled her eyes at him and shook her head. "No, not that."
Ben thought of Uncle Han, and for a few seconds, he felt the warmth of his arm slung across his shoulders. "'Just one step at a time'."
Tahiri shrugged up at him. "That's all any of us can do." She took a step toward the door, then turned back. "Whatever choice you make, at least give me a little warning? I think we've all had enough Skywalker theatrics for one day."
He knew it was meant as a joke, but now all he could think of was Anakin and Allana and the fate that awaited them on Coruscant; that thought still clawed at his heart. "Will do," he said quietly as he watched her open the door. "And thanks, Tahiri. Thanks for putting up with me."
She looked back at him one last time. "Always, kiddo." Then she was gone.
Alone once again, he sat down on the edge of his bunk and pulled out his comlink. Artoo watched him, optic sensor following his every movement. Ben sighed and stared back at the droid for a moment. Then he flipped on the comlink.
"Elias?"
There was a long pause, but his friend finally answered. "I'm here, Ben. What's up?"
His eyes were still on the little droid. Artoo dipped his chassis forward just a fraction, in what Ben knew to be an approximation of a nod. He took a deep breath, steeling himself.
"Elias, there's something I need you to do."
.
.
Allana spent the journey to Coruscant shackled to her seat. Her captors stayed close by, although not as close as she'd initially feared. The revelation that she was their master's daughter seemed to have had the desired effect. Darth Ferrus sat in the seat to her left, pretending she didn't exist, while Darth Festus had taken the seat directly across from her and looked like he was trying to bore a hole in her skull through sheer force of will. As long as he stayed away from her, he could stare all he liked.
"How much longer, Yaanis?" Ferrus sounded irritated. Allana watched him out of the corner of her eye as the Rodian pilot responded.
"About thirty minutes, my lord."
Allana lowered her eyes. My lord. As if they weren't just a few years older than her.
"What are you smirking at?" Festus said, his voice dangerously low.
Allana composed her face quickly. "Nothing."
"You think you're so much better than us, Your Royal Highness?"
She met his stare and said nothing as an old memory tugged at the edge of her thoughts. A boy kneeling before her, smiling as he handed back the stuffed toy his brother had stolen from her. She hadn't thought of that day or that boy in a long, long time – even now it seemed more dream than reality. She could hardly believe the eyes staring back at her belonged to that same boy.
"You know I don't think that," she answered quietly.
He didn't blink as he continued to watch her. "What do I know, Allana? You think you're gonna tell me what I know? What do you know?"
She didn't answer, and she refused to look away. Maybe it was foolish to do so; maybe he would interpret it as a challenge, but she refused to be cowed by him, no matter who he was now.
A muscle in his cheek twitched, and for a few seconds she thought he was going to lunge at her. Instead, Festus leaned lazily in his seat, adopting the seemingly careless mannerisms he'd displayed before their fight on Vjun. "I'm still having a hard time believing this new information about our Lord and Master," he said, directing his comment toward his brother.
"A very hard time," Ferrus said in agreement.
Festus turned his pale blue eyes back on Allana and smiled a smile that absolutely did not belong on someone so cruel. "We were led to believe your father died in his failed attempt to overthrow Lord Krayt."
Allana quirked one eyebrow. "Then it seems you were misled."
The smile widened, and Festus rose from his seat, crossing the gap between them to sit in the empty chair to her right. She continued to look straight ahead as he leaned in close to her ear.
"I know you're bluffing, Princess. But I'll play along for now, because in thirty minutes you won't have anything or anyone else to hide behind." He grabbed her by the chin and turned her head so that their faces were only centimeters apart. "And you'll wish your friend had let me finish you off on Vjun."
She tried not to flinch at the barely restrained viciousness in his voice. They were empty threats, she told herself. Empty because she knew the truth that Festus refused to accept. In thirty minutes, she'd be reunited with her father. Maybe it was that thought that gave her the boldness to challenge him.
"Perhaps, my lord. But if you are wrong and I am right, then you might regret that I stopped my friend from killing you that day."
Something in Festus's expression shifted for a second, but it was gone as quickly as it had come, smoothed over and hidden beneath a carefully constructed veneer. "So confident," he said quietly as he released his grip on her chin. He examined her face for a moment, then retreated to his seat across from her. As soon as his back was turned to her, Allana opened her mouth and exhaled as slowly and inaudibly as possible.
They spent the remainder of the trip in relative silence. When the ship finally entered Coruscant space, Ferrus moved to the front of the craft and stood just behind the Rodian pilot. Allana craned her neck to see out the viewport. The city-planet was teeming with life and activity, as it had been for centuries. Even the war with the Yuuzhan Vong had not kept it down for long. Did the people here feel the unrelenting and merciless grip of their Sith overlords? Did they know what it was like to live from day-to-day, not knowing if it might be their last?
For the first time, Allana wondered if her quest might not be in vain after all. This didn't feel like a world crushed by tyranny. And if her father didn't see himself as a tyrant, would he feel any need to renounce the dark side?
"Shuttle Ferocity, you are clear to land in Hangar Six One Seven."
The voice on the comm startled Allana from her thoughts, and she blinked several times as her eyes focused on the building coming into view. Its black spires seemed to swallow all light around it, bathing the entire fortress in shadow. Allana shivered, hugging her arms against her body.
"Are you afraid, little princess?"
She found the end of her braid and rubbed her fingers absently over the soft plaits. He was there; she could feel him reaching out to her. At first, she shied away from his mental touch. It felt so strange. So cold and distant. Nothing like the man she had known. But slowly, tentatively, she stretched out with her feelings and felt something familiar. A warm edge to the chill. A hand on her cheek. A promise whispered to her and to her alone.
"No," she told Festus. "No, I'm not afraid."
.
.
The holofeed for Hangar 617 showed three people walking down the shuttle ramp. Darth Ferrus and Darth Festus stood on either side of their prisoner, a slight, redheaded girl who surveyed the hangar bay like a queen sizing up her subjects. When they reached the end of the ramp, they were met by Lord Krayt's personal aide.
"The Master has ordered you to take the girl to the throne room at once." Sivren's voice was a little staticky, but the twins' shock was clear.
"Surely there's no need for the Master to involve himself," Festus said quickly, pulling the prisoner toward him. "We can extract whatever information he needs from her ourselves."
The Lesser shook his head. "Lord Krayt was very insistent, I'm afraid."
The twins followed behind Sivren, Festus with his hand still wrapped around their captive's arm. He exchanged a confused glance with Ferrus, and the two boys appeared to have some kind of silent disagreement as they led the princess out of the hangar.
The Sith Master drew a steadying breath as he shut off the holofeed. He stood from his throne and gazed out at the rapidly darkening sky.
Soon, he told himself.
He didn't have long to wait. In almost no time at all, he heard a gentle whir as the turbolift ascended and slowed to a stop. On the other side of the room, the lift doors opened.
His daughter had come home.
.