Chapter Summary: A tip from Pulsar leads the group to a planet entirely made of water in order to find a material that could fix the recommissioning module. Meanwhile, Abby's attempts to reconnect with Hoagie go horribly wrong, threatening both the mission and their friendship.
CONTENT WARNING: Use of trauma triggers.
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Code: [RESTRICTED]
Operation: A.B.Y.S.S.
Absent
Buoyancy
Yields
Stressful
Situations
Written by OfficiallyWrong with properties owned by Tom Warburton
and Cartoon Network
Location: The Planet Aqueous
Episode 12
Hoagie sat on his chair, his feet propped up on the table. He swiveled back and forth, clicking his fingernails together. The recommissioning module lay dismantled for perhaps the hundredth time on the counter. His eyes were glazed over as his body sank into the chair. Back and forth, back and forth. He couldn't think of anything to do, nor could he bring himself to move out of the seat. He had tried nearly everything he could imagine. The screen glowed behind him, the only light in the room. He could hear the buzzing of the machinery seeping into his brain. He was waiting for it to dissolve into white noise as it often did, but for some reason he couldn't get his mind off of it. It was like a fly buzzing around his face, one he did not have the motivation to swipe away. He had gone two nights without sleeping, and when he did close his eyes he could only hear the whirring. There was a child screaming, a woman crying, a loud, unforgiving clash and then silence.
The more he tried to sleep, the more the images would appear. He couldn't focus. His eyes went back down to the project.
He should work on the module.
He needed to finish the module.
Yet when he put his screw driver to work, the whole thing just seemed pointless. He thought that learning more about his past would help him move on from it. However, the closer he got, the more he learned, the less clear everything became. Part of him didn't want to learn any more, but it didn't matter how he felt. People were counting on him. Tommy was waiting for him. Still, he hesitated. He felt his entire body melt more and more, an overwhelming emptiness surrounding him. It shouldn't be this hard, he thought. He was caught up in his own mind, unable to turn his lazar focus to this project.
Poor little chicken. All his feathers plucked out.
Hoagie stared blankly at the ceiling.
What did that matter?
Chickens couldn't fly anyway.
There was a swift knock on the door as it swung open. "Yo," a deep voice came into the room. Hoagie barely reacted to it. "Any progress?"
"The conductor is shot," he said up to the ceiling. "Even the smallest amount of electricity and it could short-circuit. I'll need to get a new one...or to make one."
The leader at the door frowned. "Is it that bad?"
"This thing is old, and your friend Monty did a number on the wiring...so yeah. It definitely needs one."
Abby blinked. "H-how do you-"
Hoagie took the small gold cap from the table, holding it up. "The message is still there. Number Zero, huh? Jeez. Everybody's a part of this club. It's a wonder there's still child abuse at all," he quipped sarcastically.
"But you can fix it, right?"
"Tough to say. Even if we get the parts we need, there's no guarantee it will work."
"It's gotta work. It's our only trump card."
"I'm doing the best I can."
Abby sighed. "You think this metal we're lookin' for will help?"
"It might." He didn't sound too convinced.
Her face twisted into a scowl. "How about some positivity? A little optimism?" Hoagie didn't respond to her. "Boy, they really did a number on you, didn't they?" she said under her breath.
Hoagie turned around again. "What?"
"Nothin'," She said. Her voice was at a volume only she could hear. "It's only temporary." As she started to exit, she called back to him. "Guess we'll find out soon enough. We're here."
Hoagie straightened up. "Already?"
"Yep."
And with that, she disappeared behind the door. Hoagie pushed up his glasses and eyed his work space one last time. The sooner this was over, the sooner he could sleep.
He just prayed to God that would be soon.
Location: The Planet Aqueous
"Activating deep-sea expedition mode..."
The ship buzzed and hissed, forming fins and a propeller, blocking off the engines and transforming into a submarine-like vessel. Abby lowered the ship down beneath the surface of the water. Wally's knuckles whitened on the seat in front of him.
"Bloody ocean..." he groaned. "Of all the places, it had to be in the bloody fuckin' ocean."
Kuki giggled. "What happened to all that bravery you had?"
Wally flushed. "I ain't scared!" He huffed, crossing his arms. "I just don't like it. It's dark. You can't see nothin'. Can't breathe. You couldn't pay me enough money to go out there."
"That's why you n' Kuki are gonna man the ship while we handle this," Abby said.
Kuki frowned. "What? Why do I have to stay? I wanna come with you guys!" She ran up to Abby. "I have all this adrenaline from the paintball game! I feel like I'm on a whole new level! Pow! Wham!" She showed off some of her best moves. "Please!"
"No fuckin' way!" Wally snapped. "The ocean has sharks and icky seaweed and giant monster octopuses! You're goin' down there you may as well carve a tombstone that says 'stubborn idiot: eaten by a barracuda'."
"Oh, quit being melodramatic!"
"Nothin' good ever comes from the ocean!"
Kuki smirked. "He saw Finding Nemo and was never the same."
"Finding Nemo, Jaws, Creature from the Black Lagoon, That one episode of Black Lagoon..."
"Oh yeah. That was a good episode."
"See! You ain't goin'."
"I am a proud bisexual woman! You can't tell me what to do!"
"Abby, tell Kuki she ain't goin!"
"Tell Wally he's being a butt."
"You're a butt," Wally griped.
"You're a sexist."
"You're a dead goldfish."
"Guys!" Abby interrupted. "It ain't necessary. Hoagie and I got this. Besides, it'll be good for him to get outside of that room. Kuki, I need you to stay here and make sure yo' boy don't piss himself all over the ship."
"Hey!"
"And if somethin' goes wrong or we contact any of the inhabitants, I wanna make sure we got our bases covered," Abby added. "Okay?"
Kuki glared at Wally. "You're such a butt."
"The best butt."
Abby stopped the controls, the ship halting right by a large rock fixture. "This is as close as I can get, but it looks like there's a cave down there. That could be what we're lookin' for." She looked at the door. "Where is he?"
"Probably re-thinkin' his life choices," Wally said under his breath.
"Guess he's already down there." Abby got off of her seat. "I'll go see."
"Hey," Wally called. "You sure this is a good idea?"
"We gotta get that module working somehow," she said. "Gettin' past G:KND security's gonna be a chore. We wanna be as prepared as possible. Plus, it's on the way."
Wally pouted. "I guess."
Abby went down the ladder and stepped into the launch bay, which was now modified to function as a submarine. There were three pods stationed at the back, rows of diving suits hanging on the corners. They were lucky to have gotten an Adult's ship this time around. Despite everything that went wrong on this mission, she thought, things were finally starting to go in their favor. Hoagie was sitting on one of the benches inside, his suit already on and his oxygen tank secured to his back. Abby stopped at the entrance when she saw him. His eyes were fixed on the bonnet resting on his knees, his white fingers cupped over the glass. His glasses lay beside him. And as he gazed down into what looked to be nothing, Abby felt uneasy. It was as though he were in his own world, detached from the physical plane.
He looked...sad.
Hoagie's chest filled with air, holding it for a while before puffing it out through his nose.
"Hey."
"Oh. Hey." He looked up, putting his glasses back on.
Abby picked up a smile. "You ready for some high-octane adventurin'?"
Hoagie weakly smiled back. "You know it."
Abby grabbed a suit off the wall, sitting next to him, closer than she ever had before. Hoagie stiffened. "Divin' is easy. Just takes practice..." she paused. "You'll sea what I mean." She waited for her joke to land. She made it extra terrible, thinking he would pick up on it. But Hoagie didn't acknowledge her pun, which made her even more concerned. "Oh man," she leaned back slightly. "I remember the last time we went on a mission together you would not shut up."
"Happens sometimes."
"Every few seconds it was pun after pun after pun...I don't even know where they were comin' from, but you just kept on goin'."
Hoagie turned slightly away from her, his cheeks reddening. "Yeah, well, that was-"
"Whoowee, they were terrible."
"Yeah."
"Like Rainbow Monkey Funland park ride bad."
"I don't think-"
"You thought you were so funny. You even quoted yourself in the school newspaper sayin' how funny you were. Remember that?"
"Not really," he said through his teeth.
"Oh yeah, Abby remembers. Clear as day."
"Lucky her."
"And then there was the time-"
"Okay!" Hoagie shot up from the seat, setting his bonnet down. "I get it. I'm not funny."
Abby sat up, startled. "I was just kidding-"
"Well, stop. It's irritating," he said pointedly.
Abby stood up after him. "You don't gotta be so defensive."
"I'm not being defensive-"
"Yes, you are." Abby crossed her arms.
He sighed. "Whatever. Just forget it. You wouldn't understand anyway."
But Abby wasn't having it. She pouted her lip, taking a step toward him. "What's with you? You've been nothin' but salty ever since we got on this ship."
Hoagie turned back to her. "Maybe I just don't appreciate being the butt of everyone's jokes all the time," he snapped. "I get it enough from everyone else, I don't need it from you."
"Oh sure," Abby jeered. "You can make jokes about whatever, but as soon as the shoe's on the other foot-"
"Don't do that."
"You gotta learn'ta lighten up. Laugh at yourself a little. You used to be good at that."
"You don't have to tell me I was a little shit as a kid, okay? I know. I was there."
Abby's lips curved downward further. "I didn't say that."
"Sure." He sat back down, further away from her than before.
Abby's face hardened. "What the hell did they do to you?"
"What?"
Abby followed him. "The only reason you're like this is 'cause the KND took all yo' memories. The sucked you dry and spit you out and now you're nothin' but a big'ol sourpuss." She gritted her teeth. "The Numbuh 2 I knew would never have let his head get stuck this far up his ass."
"You know what, Abigail?" Hoagie's voice reached the bottom of its register as he stood, his face dark. "I am sick of you acting like you know everything all the time. I'm sick of you treating me like an outline of a human being. And I'm really sick of you insisting that you know more about me than I do! You think you know so much about me, why? Because you knew me when I was eleven? You think you can tell me what I should and shouldn't be offended by? How I should react to things? What I should like? How I should live my life?"
Abby grimaced. "Well, if you remembered..."
"Do you know what it's like to walk down the hall knowing everyone is laughing at you? Do you know what it feels like to be so lonely and desperate that you would let people kick you over the rail just to get the slightest bit of attention? No. You don't. You have your memories, Abigail, but you know nothing about me." His nose flared, his cheeks burning. "And you know what, I don't think you even want to. You want this recommissioning module so badly, but it's not for us. It's for you. So you can relive your precious glory days exactly the way you remember them because you think childhood is so much more important than anything else in the world."
"Childhood," Abby yelled back. "Is the best time in any person's life. And you would know that if you remembered-"
"Are you kidding me?" Hoagie started to laugh out of frustration. "Being a kid was the worst! I couldn't wait for adulthood!"
Abby felt her heart skip. There was a long pause as she tried to process what she just heard. "How could you say that? Adulthood is the cause of most of the world's problems! War...discrimination...poverty...vegetables!"
"Who do you think raises the children you praise so much? Hm? Who do you think had to raise my brother after my mom started working extra hours? Had to take care of my grandma when she got kicked out of her nursing home? A kid can't raise a kid, Abigail. Especially not some stupid, cocky, fat little shit-stain who nobody even wanted around-" Hoagie stopped as he felt the top of his suit being pulled upwards by a strong fist. He instinctively flinched his face to the side. His eyes clenched shut, preparing for an impact.
But it never came.
"Don't you ever..." Abby's voice hissed through her teeth. "Ever say that about him. I don't care who you are...that boy was my friend." She roughly slammed him back to the bench, leaving him completely frazzled.
The tips of his lips curved upward, twitching in hysterics. "That's not fair."
"What?"
"You can't say shit like that. Your friend? Up until this little disaster you completely ignored me!"
"I didn't want to!"
"But you did! You can't just show up one day after that and all of the sudden be friends. It doesn't work that way."
Abby felt the pain in her chest returning. "What am I supposed'ta say? I'm sorry? I'm sorry I couldn't be around when you needed me? I didn't have a choice-"
"No. Stop."
"I just meant-"
"Stop using us to make up for lost time!" He said, standing back to his feet. "You wanna pretend like those six years didn't happen? They happened. People change. They. Grow. Up. Whether you're there or not."
"You don't think I wanted to talk to you? To stand up for you? I would have given anything to be stuck in that 4th Grade class listnin' to your lame jokes again." She bit her lip. "But I couldn't take the risk. This job is all I have-"
"I know," Hoagie said. "I get it. I'm not saying you made the wrong choice. I'm just saying that you made one. So fucking own up to it and quit acting like you didn't. It's not fair to me, or to Kuki, or Wally."
"Well, then. What would you want me to do?" She asked. "Cause clearly I wasn't tryin' hard enough for yo' satisfaction." He shirked away from her. His cheeks were flushed, but not from embarrassment this time. "Well, go on then."
"I don't know, Abigail..." he moaned under his breath, his eyes shifting down to the side.
But Abby was steadfast. "No. Really. What? What could I have done to make it all better in your eyes?"
"You could have laughed!" He snapped back, shocking himself by the assertiveness of his voice. His arms lifted up to his sides, his fingers stretched out. His eyes met hers, but only for a moment before going back down to the floor, his arms falling as close to his body as he could get them.
Abby was silent, not even realizing that her jaw hung agape while she tried to re-assemble her thoughts. She tried to speak, but she had nothing. What could she say? Her mind was filing through every excuse she had ever made. Nothing seemed to validate.
Hoagie spoke before she got too far into her head. "I'm sorry, okay? Can we please just forget about it and do the mission?"
Abby shook herself awake. "Do you really think it's a good idea for us to-"
"I'm fixing the recommissioning module. I'm going on the mission. You can stay behind if you want." He walked past her, picking up his bonnet.
"Are you crazy?" She followed him. "You don't know the first thing about this planet!"
"Neither do you," he said.
Abby scrunched her nose. "I can't let you go alone."
"Okay, then. Come."
Abby could hear her heart beating in her head.
You could've laughed.
"Hoagie, I-"
"I don't-" he started. His voice immediately softened. "Want to talk about it anymore." He waited for a moment before sighing deeply. When he turned back to Abby his face was completely different, sweet and cheery as he grinned from ear to ear. "Right. So let's just pretend this never happened and go get that ore!" He held out his hand toward her. "Like professionals."
Abby was stunned. She had no idea how to respond to that.
Luckily, there was a clank from up above, distracting her. She went over to the ladder, seeing Wally and Kuki peering down with their ears hanging out like basset hounds.
Abby's face flattened. "Y'all need to learn this thing called privacy."
"A-A-Abby! Uh..." Kuki tried to cover. "We were just-"
Wally put his hand on her arm gently before interrupting. "Seein' if everything is okay down there."
Kuki fiddled her fingers together. "We heard you yelling and thought maybe you were in trouble."
That's when Hoagie stepped forward, scratching his neck. "I'm sorry. It's totally my fault. I haven't had much sleep, so I've been in a bit of a bad mood. But everything is cool now. Right, Abby?"
Abby.
"Yeah, all good." She felt a large hand clasp itself over her shoulder, pulling her in slightly. What was going on? Why was he saying that? She tried to calm her racing mind, but it was proving difficult.
Wally looked at the two skeptically, but then shrugged. "If you say so. We'll be up here if you need us for anythin'." Kuki followed him, looking back worriedly as they disappeared. As soon as they left, Hoagie's firm hand became hesitant. It peeled off of Abby's shoulder as the heat from his hand began to disappear.
"I uh..." He cleared his throat. "I may have gone a bit overboard there. I just didn't want them to worry."
Abby shook her head, forcing a smile. "Let's go get that ore."
Hoagie's face brightened as he saluted to her. "Aye, Captain!" He turned around and headed toward the pod. Abby felt herself reaching for her shoulder as her smile began to fade.
What the hell just happened?
The radar beeped as Hoagie leaned over it, pushing up his glasses. "We shouldn't dive too deep. Not sure what the ecosystem is like down here so it's better we stay as close to the ship as possible." He was holding the controls for the ship, gently pushing the pod down further and further into the blue ocean. It was a small, cramped space that barely allowed them to stand, divided into two sections: the launch bay where they left and exited the ship underwater, and the control center which steered it. They had little more than two feet between them.
No matter how she tried, Abby couldn't stop staring at him.
"This thing is so cool," he said. "I've only ever driven on land before, but my dad, he was a pilot-"
"I know," Abby said.
Hoagie tensed.
Dammit.
Abby kept quiet, starting to feel guilty. She decided she should stop doing that.
"Right. Well, anyway. He used to fly military planes and he was even friends with the guy who flew for Air Force 2. He's got a family and they live in Florida now, but my dad used to come home with all these stories..."
Abby stared at him longer as he kept talking. She wanted to listen, but her mind was still flooded with questions. Did Hoagie really not care about the fight? No, that couldn't be. He just wanted to put it away and move on. But, why? Abby's heart started to thump again.
I couldn't wait for adulthood.
That person she saw in his eyes then, he was nothing like the Numbuh 2 she remembered. When he was like this, it was almost impossible to tell the difference. It was as though nothing changed. But everything changed. She looked deeply at him. Who was this person? He wasn't Numbuh 2.
You could've laughed.
Or maybe...
He was.
She thought back, back to all the times she had spent with him. Was she even there? Did she even really see him? Did she like him? She thought she did. But the more she thought, the more she realized that for all of her useless knowledge about her childhood, about his childhood, she really had no idea who this person was. Numbuh 2...always smiling, positive, good-natured, naive, nerdy, a bit selfish but overall...happy. Perhaps that image was a lie. This Hoagie P. Gilligan Jr. was anything but happy. And as she watched him talk, she could see the smile on his face pasted on with krazy glue, flaking as the day wore down.
For the first time, the rosy color of her memories was starting to fade. And what was left...
"Is that it?"
You could've laughed.
She could've laughed.
She didn't laugh.
She couldn't.
Why?
"Hey, Abigail...that's it, right?"
Abby peered down into the abyss.
"Yeah. That's it."
Abby picked up her bonnet and secured it to her suit. "We've got enough oxygen for a good 4 hours down here," she said. "You get low, you let me know and we'll head back to the pod."
"Roger," Hoagie said. He fumbled with his suit, trying and failing to attach the bonnet.
"It's right-" Abby tried. She sighed and walked over to him, placing her hands on the corselet. "Here. It snaps like this." She secured it for him.
He stood there, still. "Thanks." She nodded and turned from him, heading towards the door. He watched her go, sighing again.
Of all the times to pick a fight...
Hoagie was beginning to realize that his stubborn mouth might have gotten him into real trouble this time. He didn't mean to insult her. Maybe he just wanted a reaction from her. He groaned. Well, he certainly got what he wanted if that was the case. He fumbled with his fingers as his feet floated down to the cave floor. The water was deep and blue, with only the light from the lantern they brought allowing them to see what was in front of them. The oxygen in the tank against the sea made an echo in his ears. It was so calming, so peaceful. He could stay under here for hours. Little Alien creatures floated by him, glowing like the luminescent phytoplankton in the tropics.
One beautiful fish, which resembled a Spanish dancer one would see in the coral reef, swam by his face. "Whoa. Did you see that?" He tried once again.
"Don't get distracted," came her cold reply.
Hoagie frowned. His attempts to patch things over weren't coming across as well as he had hoped. He wasn't even sure why he wanted to make amends in the first place. He was just as mad at her as she was at him, wasn't he?
It's because I said that, he thought.
It was a pitiful thing to say.
He knew Abigail's situation was delicate. He knew it wasn't her fault that he had such a hard time with other people. And now that he lost his medication... He shook that out of his head immediately. That was no excuse to be a jerk. He shouldn't have said that, but that didn't mean she was right either. He lifted his eyes to the top of his head. He didn't want her pity. He felt pathetic even thinking about it. So, he chose instead to place it all on the back burner and complete the task at hand. That was where he kept everything anyway.
Holding out the scanner, he followed Abby further into the cave.
"What exactly are we lookin' for?" she asked.
"According to the information I got, the nostronarium should glow when agitated by electrical stimuli." He lifted the scanner above his head. "The sonic waves of this transmitter should be enough, but I don't see anything."
"I'll turn off the light," Abby said.
The light from the lantern flickered, along with the two on their suits, off leaving them in total darkness. Hoagie tried the signal again, letting the waves soar through the water. Suddenly, a series of tiny lights, blue in hue, started to appear all around the walls of the cave.
"Whoa..."
"I think we found it." Her voice lightened.
"Yeah. Now how do we get it out?" Hoagie asked.
"Leave that to me." Abby took out a small, waterproof bag with a series of tools. There was a pick-ax type thing, a S.P.I.C.E.R., Some rope, and a couple other things Hoagie couldn't see very well. She held the lamp out to him. "Hold this, please."
Adult Activist Alliance: A.X.
Attack
Xpertly
Hoagie took the lamp, although he struggled to grab it at first due to the dim light. "I only need about four ounces," he told her. "That should be enough to replace the conductor."
"Seems a long way to go for just four ounces," she replied.
"Well, fixing an ancient machine is a lot of work for a slight advantage," he threw back at her.
Abby didn't say anything.
Dammit.
Abby swung the A.X. into the wall as Hoagie peered down into the black hole of the cave. "How far do you think it goes?"
"Who knows?" She continued to hack at the wall of the cave. "I think we should grab more'a this in case somethin' don't work the first time." She tossed Hoagie a rock. "This what you're lookin' for?"
Hoagie cupped his hands over the rock, peeking inside as best he could. "Yeah. I think so."
"You think so?"
"Well, I've never seen it before!"
Abby groaned, ignoring him as she hacked deeper into the rock. Hoagie took a step back, admiring the tall structure. He could still see the glow of the rocks up above, albeit less than before. It was ethereal, like the earth itself was alive. There was color, even down in the pitch blackness of the sea. It was one thing to read about it in books or see it on television, but here looking at it was completely different. There was so much about the world that he didn't understand. He looked at Abby, whose head was still down and focused on her task.
The truth was, he didn't know anything at all.
"It's kind of nice," he said. "All of this." Hoagie placed a hand on the wall. "If it weren't under these circumstances, I would almost say I felt..."
Suddenly, there was a deep rumble coming from inside the cave. Hoagie froze, but Abby didn't seem to notice it.
"A-A-A-Abigail-" He trembled. "D-did you hear-"
The rumbling got louder. Abby shot up.
"Is it a cave in?"
She scooped up the rest of her things in the bag. If it was, it was from deeper inside. Her eyes scanned the walls of the cave, then the mouth. Either way, it wasn't a good idea to stick around.
"Abby."
Not now, Hoagie.
Where was it coming from?
"Abby!"
Just be quiet for two-
"Abby! Look out!" She heard her voice called as a heavy body pushed her to the ground. Two hands rested firmly on her shoulders for an instant. Her eyes opened in time to see a black claw reaching down, grabbing her partner by the back. The pressure on her lifted as the claw dragged the boy kicking and screaming further into the cave. It happened so fast, she didn't even have time to blink. The sand dusted up around her as she rolled over on her stomach.
"Hoagie!"
She pushed herself up, starting to move. Her body floated, the buoyancy slowing her movements. She couldn't run. Shit. She couldn't swim. Shit shit shit shit shit!
The screaming stopped. There was a terrible, horrible sound echoing through the ocean. It wasn't a screech, or a normal sonar-like noise. Rather, it was a long, high-pitched wail, one that shook the very foundation of the cave. It was then that Abby started to panic. She kicked her feet with all her might, pushing through the water's resistance. Eventually, she located the snarling creature, who had pinned its victim to the ground, scratching at his chest. Its teeth gnashed against the side of his helmet. That's when she noticed the stream of air coming from Hoagie's back. The line to his tank oxygen had been cut. Still, she could see his arms flailing, pushing against the creature as its claws cut more and more into his suit.
"Get off'a him!" She shouted, kicking the creature hard in the side. Its sonar sounded again, this time the waves were forceful enough to push Abby back to where she started. She hit the wall, her body sinking to the cave floor.
Fuck. Her weapons wouldn't do any good either. Maybe the A.X. She looked at the scene more closely. If she missed, she could hurt Hoagie fatally. No. It was no good.
Think, Numbuh 5, think!
The creature continued to chomp on the one side of the helmet, despite there being a clear fleshy opening along the chest area. Maybe this creature ate brains.
Abby's eyes widened.
She 'ran' as fast as she could back to the lantern, picking it up and waving it across her body.
"Hey!" She shouted. "Is this what you're lookin' for?" The shadow of the creature shot up. "Come n' get it, fucker..." she said under her breath. Just as she predicted, the creature leapt off of Hoagie and came barreling straight towards her. In that instant, she switched off the lantern, sliding beneath its scaly body as it charged. She whipped out her S.P.I.C.E.R., firing outside of the cave. A flare went off, shooting into the distance.
This weapon didn't do any good under water damage, she thought. But it could still light enough to make a flare if only for a moment. She grabbed Hoagie by the hand, yanking him to his feet. His helmet was now half-cracked open, water had gushed into it as he closed his eyes and held his breath. He tugged on her, pointing to his chest, and then the ground. Beneath where he originally lay, the glowing blue rock had fallen.
"There's no time..." Abby said. She yanked him further. But he couldn't hear her. The communication piece of his helmet was smashed. She tugged on him harder. "It's not important! We have to go!" He finally got the hint and they moved as fast as they could back to the ship.
The door to the pod slammed shut as Abby smashed her hand on the drain button. As the water started to lower, Hoagie collapsed on the steel floor, hacking from deep within his lungs. Abby tore off her bonnet, running to his aid.
"Hoagie?" She called to him, pulling off the broken helmet as pieces of glass continued to fall out of it. "Hoagie. Look at me. You okay? How many fingers am I holdin' up?"
"Two." He reached his hand up to his skull.
"Here. Lemmie see." She peeled off his hat, letting it fall into the water. She continued the questions at rapid-fire. "What's your name?"
"Hogarth."
"What's my name?"
"Abigail Lincoln."
"What year is it?"
"Abigail, it's okay. I'm fine." He pulled his gloved hand down, noticing a dark liquid running across the fingers. "Shit."
"This is my fault," she said. Hoagie winced as she placed her thumb on his temple, where the glass had made a small cut. "If I had been payin' attention..."
Hoagie shook his head. "That thing came out of nowhere. There wasn't much you could d-do." His whole body began to shake, his fingers quivering as he tried to remove the rest of his suit. "H-hey. H-help me outta this thing, would ya?" Abby managed to unzip the suit and remove the corselet as Hoagie continued to shake from the cold. "Th-thanks." He proceeded to take off his over-shirt and then his shoes and socks. Finally, he went for his pant zipper.
Abby blushed, moving away from him. "Wh-whoa. What are you doin'?"
"Making sure I don't catch hypothermia," he said matter of factly. "Don't worry. I'll keep my boxers on. The thin material should dry quickly."
Abby tried to hide her heated face. "Y-yeah...good to know."
She reached her hand out to him as they made their way into the control center of the pod, which was divided from the launch point by a metal door. Hoagie continued to shiver, but the cold was starting to pass.
"You hangin' in there?"
The boy nodded. "Uh-uh. Just me in my wet underwear in a pod under the sea...no problemo." He let out an awkward laugh. He noticed her flipping off all the lights. "What are you doing?"
"The creature is attracted to light," She flipped a switch on the control panel. "It attacked because it saw the glow from our helmets. It probably can feel the surges of electricity too."
"So that's how you got its attention..." He went to sit down. "Well played."
"There could be others too. We should wait and be sure they're all gone before we do anything," she whispered. "Can you hold on for a few more minutes?"
"D-do I have a choice?"
Abby watched attentively by the window, but it didn't take long for another long black figure to slip up and over their little pod and into the vast blue sea.
"Alright...I think the coast is clear."
It wasn't long after that the pod began to shake, being affronted by another long, black shadow. This time, however, the creature didn't stop once it exited the cave, but came barreling back towards them.
"Not clear!" Hoagie shouted. "Very very very not clear!"
"We're gettin' outta here!" Abby said as she turned on the ignition. This made the creature more aware of their presence as they dodged the attack. There wasn't much time to react, however, as the tail of the creature smashed into the propeller, sending the pod on a collision course off the cliff.
There was a thud as the ship hit a small jutted piece of rock, sticking on the end like a lollypop.
Everything went black.
When Abby awoke, the pod was filled with at least a foot of water. She turned a few of the lights back on.
"N-numbuh 2?" She looked around but couldn't see him. "Numbuh 2!"
"Abby-" A few cold fingers touched her forearm. She jumped, turning around to see Hoagie's blue eyes, which were no longer shielded by glass. "Are you okay? I can't...really tell..." He squinted at her. His nose and ears were red, as well as the tips of his cheeks. His auburn hair damply fell over his forehead.
"Your glasses," was all she could think to say. She peered down into the water, which was getting higher in slow increments. "They've gotta be down here. I'll find them for you."
"Abby-" Hoagie said as she dropped into the water, swiping her hands around the floor. "Abby-Abby-Abby-" He managed to find her arm and pull her back up. "I already stepped on them."
Panic started to set in as Abby saw the great skewer in the center of the pod. "Oh no this ain't good...Great. Great job, Abby! Why in the world did I go on this stupid mission?!" She held her gloved hands up to her head.
"It was my idea-"
"Not just this! Everything! The whole damn thing! Just when I think we're finally makin' progress, this shit happens! Kidnapped by a junkman, attacked by a haunted space station, and now this? What was I thinking? We're never gonna find Nigel." She gripped her hair in her fingers. "I have no idea what I'm even doin'. I ain't fought in a real battle since I was twelve. I should'a just gone to Mars like Maurice told me to. But, no. I gotta fuck everything up. For Sector V and The Moon Base, every single time! Why do people keep makin' me do this?! Maurice, Nigel, Rachel...everyone always leaves me responsible for everything!" She kicked the water furiously. "I hate it!"
"Abigail," Hoagie said gently.
"What?!" She snapped back at him. "You wanna hear me admit that I'm talkin' outta my ass! That I'm just as lost and confused as all of you! Fine! You were right! Okay, Genius? You were fuckin' right-"
"Abby...Abby shh...It's okay." He walked over to where he assumed she was. When he was about ten inches away, he could see where her shoulders were, and placed both hands gently around them. "You're fine. I'm fine. We're going to make it through this, alright? All we need to do is contact Wally and Kuki from the ship."
Abby groaned. "God. We'll never hear the end of it."
"True. But look at it this way. Now we can tell them that the whole operation is...under water. Yeah? You get it?" He grinned. "Under water."
Abby smiled with just her lips. "You're obnoxious."
"I know, I know," He pushed his hair back. "I'm all wet."
Abby's face flared up, but her smile stayed. "Hoagie!"
He jumped. "What!"
"That's nasty."
"Wh-wha?" Hoagie's face turned redder than it already was. "N-no. No not like...eww no! You're all wet. Like from old 40's movies: 'she's a fine dame, but she's all wet.' You've never heard that phrase?"
"Not even once."
"Oh. Well, N-Never mind. We should-"
"Right, yeah." Abby went to the panel and clicked the receiver. "Wally. Kuki. Somethin's gone wrong with the ship. We need you to stage a rescue mission-"
"Wh-what?" Wally's voice came through from the other side, but it was fuzzy and difficult to make out.
"Wally. I need you to get in a pod and-"
"Hello? Abby?" It cut in and out. "I can't..."
"Wally?" She clicked the receiver again. "Wally? Can you hear me? We need you to come get us."
"I...bad...can't..."
"This ship is down!" She shouted. "S.O.S.! We need a rescu-"
The remaining lights suddenly shut off, returning the two to total darkness. Abby held the receiver, unable to move. "Wally? K-Kuki?" She pressed the button again. "Hello?" No answer. "No...no no no no. Wally! Wally! Pick up! Please! We need yo' help! The ship's in critical condition. We're losin' time! Please!" She covered her head, dropping the receiver. "I don't know what to do."
There was a thud behind her. Abby stumbled in the darkness, locating the lantern. Under its glow, she could see Hoagie leaning against the wall, his arms wrapped tightly around himself.
"Hoagie..." She walked up to him, the water now up to her knees. "Baby. You gotta hang in there, okay?"
He nodded.
"Okay, let's brainstorm. Uh...what if we filled the ship with oxygen and pushed the water out? No. That's dumb. Abby, yo' dumb. Okay...uh...how about we send a signal to the others? What could we use for a signal? The gun! Oh wait, I'd have to go outside..." She tried every button, but nothing was responding.
"A-Abigail..."
"No, it's fine. Abby's got this. Abby will figure this out."
"I'm c-cold..." His voice was at the volume of a whisper.
"I-I know, Baby. We'll get you dry soon."
But his fragile hand took her wrist. "Abby, listen. Th-there isn't much t-time..."
"I know that. I'm thinkin'," she told him.
"My body temperature...is g-getting...l-l-lower...at this rate-"
Abby grabbed his hands with both of hers, rubbing them. "Not a problem. You just gotta get the juices flowin' is all."
"You're so nice..." he said, which caused Abby to stop rubbing. "Even after everything I said..."
She held onto his hands, squeezing them. "I got a lotta time to make up for. Like you said." She sighed.
"Wh-when you save the planet...I want you t-t-t-," He breathed deeply. "To make sure my brother gets his goggles back."
Abby stopped.
"They broke...on the space station. B-but I still...I still want him to have them." He slipped his hands out, clasping them once again over the top of hers. "Make sure there's someone...who will take c-care of him. If I don't-"
"Don't you say what I think you're gonna say, Boy. Don't you even think it."
Hoagie was vibrating. "I...I can't...breathe. It's so..f-fucking cold."
Abby started to bite her lip harder. "I know! I'll give you my suit-"
"Wh-what? No. Abby-it won't fit."
"Sure it will." She picked up the bonnet sticking it on his head. "You just gotta give it...a little...push."
"My head is too big."
"Nah, it'll fit."
"H-how are you gonna swim back?" he gasped, trying to pull the helmet off which was now stuck above his ears.
She took it from him and flipped it over her knee. "I'll just hold my breath. It'll be fine."
"Abby, that's a terrible idea."
"No, it'll work, trust me. I can hold my breath forever."
"A-Abigail."
"Just gotta figure out how to adjust..."
"Abby."
"It's not...workin'...maybe if I took this-"
"Number Five!" Hoagie used the rest of his strength to pull her up to him by the shoulders. The bonnet fell into the water. "It's okay." He held her for a moment before letting his hands slip away. He reached into the water and picked up the bonnet, letting it drain before placing it back in Abby's hands. Her knees started to buckle.
This wasn't happening.
This couldn't be happening.
"Nope. Huh-uh," she said, shaking her head. She put the helmet on her seat. The moisture from the air started to condense into her hair, sticking it to the side of her face as she shook it. "You don't get to decide when we give up."
"Ab-"
"No!" She screamed. "That is not how this is gonna end!" Her pointer finger slammed into the water. "This gonna end with you and me, on that ship, up there."
Hoagie sighed. "It'll be okay. You'll find someone else who can f-f-fix the r-recommissioning module. I knnnow it. So don't worry about me."
"The recom-" Abby shook her head in disbelief. "The recommiss-" Her fists clenched. "Is that what you think?!" she shouted. "I didn't even know the recommissioning module still existed till we found it, remember? Maybe I got a little excited, okay? But you know what, a week ago I was under the impression that I would never see any of my friends again!" She lowered her head, trying desperately not to lose it. "Never speak to'm. Never fight with'm. I wasn't even allowed in the same room as them. Yeah, you're a great scientist. One of the best. You could build almost anythin', stuff I never even dreamed of. You built a whole treehouse from scrap. And when you flew a plane, Oooh baby, you sliced through that sky like butter."
"I flew planes?" Hoagie's eyes began to turn red like the rest of his face.
"Of course you flew planes! You were a great solider. That's why I put you in charge of the team when I left." She paused. "But none of that is why you're here right now. You're here 'cause I want you here. Do you know what I had to do to get you here? How hard it was makin' someone like you invisible? I had'ta lie about you to everyone. Wherever you went, I was there every exam grade, every homework assignment, every pop-quiz, every science fair pro-" She slammed her hand over her mouth.
His face had fallen slightly as everything came together.
"H-Hoagie-"
"You broke my science fair projects." There was silence. "All of them?"
"All of'm," Abby admitted. The water was getting up to her thighs now. She sighed, watching as his face transformed into a mixture of confusion and disappointment. She rubbed her elbows. "So blame me for makin' yo' life a livin' hell. Blame me for all of it, but I had to do it. You've seen what Father does! He ain't above hurting children to get what he wants! If he knew a fraction of what you were still capable of...He could've hurt Tommy or yo' Mom and I wouldn't've been able to do anything! They could've tortured you or brainwashed you or-"
Abby stopped, feeling a cool pressure surround her entire body. Every inch of her skin was burning. She lowered her forehead into Hoagie's shoulder as she felt his embrace.
"I tried so hard and it didn't even matter," she said while she fought her tears tooth and nail. "They still...I couldn't...I didn't know how else to..."
"I have an idea. I need your body heat s-so I can explain, okay?" Hoagie cut her off. "I need you to let me drown."
Abby pushed off of him. "Uh, hello? Have you been listinin' to a word I said?"
But Hoagie shook his head. "N-no. Listen." The words he spoke rattled off like a machine gun. "Human bodies can survive twice as long underwater d-during hypothermic conditions. So if you increase the flow of water coming into the pod, we can get b-back to the ship before I die of hypothermia."
Abby's jaw hit the floor. "The hell you get an idea like that?"
"I saw it in a movie."
"A movie."
"Yes."
"Wonderful."
"It was a v-very scientifically accurate movie. Well, except for the Aliens. Actually, maybe the Aliens were scientifically accurate after all. Who's to say?" Suddenly, Hoagie's face scrunched as his palm hit his forehead. "Ugh, wait. No. That won't work."
"And you were so convinced a minute ago-"
"No I mean, wwould wwork, but-"
"But what?"
"It's just that the girl in the movie was..."
"What?"
Hoagie scrunched his brows. "Smaller." His breathing started to get heavier. "Drowning is easy, but p-pulling me up to the ship'll be almost i-i-i-impossible. Never mind. It was stupid."
"I'll do it."
Abby's tone was back to its normal resolve.
"Abby, no."
Her brow lifted. "You don't think I can do it?"
"N-not necessarily but given the obvious circumstances-" He gestured to his body.
"Fuck yo' circumstances. You wanna live, or don't you?"
"Th-that's not really a fair question."
The water was now at waist level.
"This is yo' plan?"
"P-pretty much."
"And there ain't nothin' better?"
"Nnothing I can see."
Abby nodded. "Then I'll do it." Hoagie looked at her as though she agreed to swallow a horse. "Please let me try."
There was a short pause.
"Okay."
"...okay."
Abby checked to make sure everything was secure. Her helmet and oxygen tank were working, her S.P.I.C.E.R. sat in an easily reachable pocket. The rope was used to tie the very large teenage boy to the not nearly as large teenage girl, once around the waist, and once around the wrists for him to drape over the back. The chill was starting to get into Hoagie's spine and he was losing energy at a much faster rate.
"Remember..." he whispered weakly. "Before the drowning p-p-part happens to p-p-put your arms in front of your neck. Ssso I don't choke you."
"Even half conscious, you still won't stop talkin'," she said back to him.
"And...And Abby..."
"What?"
"If you ssstart to sssink, promise me you'll...you'll cut me loose." he whispered breathily. "And f-f-finish the mmission."
"Now yo' just procrastinatin'."
"Promise me."
"That won't happen, Hoagie."
"I won't go till you promise me." His head lifted up as far as he could pull it.
"I'll make it back to the ship," she said, which was obviously good enough because Hoagie lowered his head back down.
"8 minutes," he whispered.
Abby's chest rose. "8 minutes," she repeated.
Her hand felt down into the water for the A.X. she brought for mining. "Oh...Numbuh 5 can't believe she's doin' this," she said to herself as she swung it at the metal door. Due to the water pressure, it pried open easily as water flooded into the space. "It's comin! Hold yo' breath!"
But a panicked voice sounded over her shoulder. "I changed my mind! This was a bad plan! Bad plan! Why the hell would you let me go through with this?!"
"Hoagie!"
Hoagie took the biggest gasp of air he could muster.
Abby grabbed the oxygen tank from the floor on the other side of the ship. It was still streaming out, but at a very slow, controlled rate. There was clearly much more in there. Placing it around her shoulder, she thought maybe she could re-attach the hose. Suddenly, she felt a kicking against her shin. It was too late. She slipped her hands between his arms and her neck and waited. It didn't take long. The last puff of air bubbled out as she could feel him behind her, kicking and pulling, swimming upwards before finally growing completely limp. Abby shut her eyes and smashed open the glass window with the tank, pushing upwards. She swam as hard and fast as she could.
Up. Up. Go up!
But she wasn't going up. The weight was too heavy. She was sinking.
8 minutes.
7.59 7.58
She grabbed the S.P.I.C.E.R. from her holder, placing the base at the bottom of the tank.
7.57 7.56
She clenched her teeth and fired the gun. The bottom of the tank shot off and Abby and Hoagie went along with it. Up! Up! Up! Past the cave! Yes! Although she had trouble controlling it, it kept shooting upwards.
7 minutes.
Plenty of time.
6 minutes.
However, right as she was nearing the base of the ship, the air began to slow down. Abby kicked and kicked, but the tank only released less and less air. No! No no no! She felt the weight begin to settle back into her as she sank back down. She dropped the oxygen tank down into the darkness.
5.50
Abby looked at the S.P.I.C.E.R., and then at the rope around her waist and Hoagie's blue, pruned hands. She kicked harder and harder, scooping her arms out. She sent a flair flying through the water, but of course there wasn't enough time for them to see it now.
5.40
What could she do?
Abby stopped kicking, feeling her body start to sink. From her helmet, she could only see his bangs floating beside her, but she could feel the pressure of his head over her shoulder, the weight of his stomach on her back.
5.30
She gripped the gun. Her teeth clenched.
5.25
5.20
"I'm sorry."
She cocked the gun, picking it up, and then lowering it down to the base of her own oxygen tank.
Boom! The bottom flew off.
Again, she took off like a rocket.
5 minutes
4
She could see the window of the ship coming in closer.
3.30 3.29 3.28
She fired the gun below her for more momentum.
3.27 3.26 3.3 3.24
Whack! She hit the ship. Without knowing what to do next, she tried looking for an entrance. She decided to scale the bottom of the ship to find the launch pad for the pods. She looked around frantically. Finally, at the bottom, she noticed the door still open, awaiting their return.
Yes! With only...
Abby's mind stopped. 4 minutes, wait. 3 now. More than 3? Less than 4? She had completely lost count. Pushing herself onto the landing bay, she climbed up the inclined door, trying desperately to make it to the button.
3 minutes.
It had to be at least 3.
Each step sent a shock down her legs as she finally found the button to close the door. She slammed her hand over it as she waited for it to close.
2 minutes.
1.59 1.58
The door inched its way up.
"Come on!" She screamed into the empty room.
1.55 1.54 1.53 1.52 1.51 1.50 1.49
The the door latched shut.
1.48 1.47
C'mon. C'mon c'mon!
Abby began to feel light-headed as the rest of the oxygen escaped from the back of her helmet. She collapsed to her knees, the water finally beginning to drain.
1.30 1.29 1.28 1.27
1-
1-
Her eyes started to blur, her body getting heavier and heavier. She wasn't counting any more. What was she counting for again? The water drained around her, moving to the level of her head, then her chest, then her waist.
Her eyes shot open.
The metal was hard against her fingers as she ripped the helmet off of her head, gasping all of the air she could. There wasn't enough. She needed more. More air. There was something heavy pulling down on her. What was it? Get it off! She reached down and felt the rope around her waist, and then her neck. She felt two large hands in front of her.
"Hoagie!"
She saw the S.P.I.C.E.R. beside her. Grabbing it, she fired at the rope around her waist, stripping the limp body off of her back. The body was light blue and when she touched it, ice cold.
How many minutes?
"Abby!" a voice called. It was Wally, with Kuki right behind. "What the hell? I didn't even see you come-"
"30 compressions then breathe," they heard her mumble as her hands pressed into an unconscious Hoagie's chest. "30 compressions then breathe..."
14 15 16 17
They rushed over to her.
Kuki gasped.
"What the hell happened?" Wally shouted.
Abby ignored them.
22 23 24 25
Kuki bent down next to her, taking Hoagie's hand. "I don't feel a pulse."
"You see? This is what happens when you fuck with the bloody ocean! It's evil I tell ya!"
Kuki scowled. "Seriously? Now is not the time!"
"30!" Abby went to give a breath.
"Abby, no, just keep going!" Kuki said. "He needs 100 compressions a minute. If you breathe it could cause serious damage unless you're a certified professional."
"Ain't you suppos'ta be certified?" Wally exclaimed.
"I mean a real professional!"
"You went to that nursin' camp last summer!"
"Nurses aren't paramedics, Wally!"
"Ah!" Abby screamed. "Shut up! I can't concentrate!"
37 38 39 40 41 42 42
"C'mon, Baby. C'mon. This was your dumb-ass idea! Now, come on!" She screamed into the lifeless face. "I got yo' ass up here, now you gotta help me out! Don't do this..."
51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61
The compressions became slightly weaker.
"Agh!" Suddenly, she felt her body yanked off of Hoagie's by a strong push. "Get off! You're doin' it wrong!" He crawled on top of the body and resumed Abby's work. "If you think...I'm gonna let...the fuckin' ocean...take my. best. friend." He pressed harder. "Get up you stupid nerd! Get up so I can kick your fat ass!" He stopped the compressions, lifting Hoagie up by his shirt. "Hey! You listenin' to me? I said wake up!" Wham! Wally's hand flew into Hoagie's cheek.
"Wally, stop it!" Kuki shot up, pulling her boyfriend off.
Just then, a waterfall of water spewed out of the body's mouth, its throat letting out a deep guttural cough. Hoagie leaned over to his side, gasping for air.
"Ha!" Wally announced triumphantly.
"Kuki! Oxygen! Now!"
Kuki was off in an instant. Hoagie pulled on his wrists, starting to hyperventilate as he frantically tried to unbind his hands. "Wh...what's going on?" He could barely whisper. "Where am I? Who are you?" He pulled harder. "Let me go! Help!" He tried to scream, but his voice was horse. "Help! Abigail! Abigail!"
"Shh." Abby leaned over his face, which was now a pale white instead of blue. She propped his head up on her knees, stroking the hair out of his face. "It's okay, Baby. You're okay."
Kuki returned with an oxygen tank and a diving mask. "This was all I could find," she said. She twisted the top of the tank. "Keep his head propped, it'll help create a clear passage for the air to go through."
"No!" He choked as he squirmed. His voice was still raspy. "Let me go! Let me go! Abi-"
Kuki placed the mask to his face. "Just breathe...in and out...in...and out..."
Hoagie did this. His breathing steadied as his words stopped and his eyes closed.
"That's it. Good job!" She turned to her boyfriend with a glower. "You are one lucky bastard." Wall just continued to grin stupidly at her.
After a while, Kuki removed the mask, Hoagie's color having returned to normal.
"Hoagie?" she asked sweetly. "Are you with us? If you are, say something."
The boy's eyes fluttered open, squinting from the light. He coughed a few times before giving a light smile. "Hey guys...wa-ter you up to?"
Wally scowled as Abby pursed her lips. "Can I smack him again?" he asked.
"I would," she replied.
Wally lifted his hand in the air, but Kuki grabbed it shouting: "No!"
"Is Abby here?" He looked around. "I can't see..."
Abby stroked his hair again. "I'm right here, Baby."
Hoagie lifted his eyes up towards her. "Oh," he said. His voice was high and sweet, like a child's. "Hi." He grinned and waved at her.
Abby puffed out all of her air in relief, before replying. "Hi."
His hands lifted into the air. "Could you untie me, please?"
She grinned. "Nope."
"Huh?" The sound was confused and innocent. "Why not?"
But Abby's hand ruffled his wet hair. "I'm kidding." She turned to Kuki. "We need to get him some dry clothes."
"Already on it." Wally said, as he turned to up the stairs.
"I'll get something to cut the rope with," Kuki added.
Abby rested Hoagie's head down to the ground. He was still shivering from the cold. "Just sit tight, okay?" she said. "Wally's gonna find you somethin' dry to put on. And then we'll wrap you up like a nice, warm burrito."
He smiled. "That sounds so nice."
"Doesn't it?"
"Burritos are nice."
"Uhh...Abby..." Abby heard Wally say as he backed up into the room. "We've got a problem..." She sat up slightly.
She frowned. "What kinda problem?"
"Freeze!" She heard an unfamiliar voice behind her.
Oh, no.
"Remove all of your weapons and raise your hands in the air!"
No no no no no.
She turned around to see a small pair of eyes glaring at her. It was attached to a small silvery head, with a short body. It was wearing a silver jumpsuit and holding a tiny ray gun directly at her. She looked around towards Wally and Kuki to see two more Children just like it.
She stood up slowly but didn't raise her hands. "You gotta be fuckin' kidding me!"
The creature blinked at her, turning to her two companions with a curious look. One shrugged, and the other looked up thoughtfully.
"Teen word. Translation has been blocked."
"Fuck, no! Abby ain't dealin' with this shit right now! Get out!" Abby shouted. "Get off my ship!"
But the Alien raised their weapon. "By order of the Galactic Kids Next Door, you are hereby under arrest."
"Oh...Oh I'm under arrest?" Her face widened in fake shock. "You're under arrest!"
It was confused for a moment. "N-no, I am certain you are the one under arrest..."
"Get the fuck off my ship!"
"Abby! Don't provoke them!" Kuki said. "We just need to get upstairs to get some dry clothes for our friend..."
"You will be confined to this room until we have reached our destination," it said.
"We didn't even do anything wrong!" Wally whined.
"Vehicle parked without a permit, illegal entrance of the planet, unauthorized mining in a restricted area..." Another Alien said. "Disturbing the wildlife."
"Disturbin' the wildlife?!" Abby yelled, her adrenaline pumping again. "The wildlife disturbed us! That monster ran our ship into the ground!"
"Numbuh C read them their rights."
"C ain't a number, Morons!" Wally shouted.
"It's probably a translation error," Kuki told him.
"Can't you see we have a situation, here?" Abby exclaimed. "This boy needs serious medical attention-"
"That is not our problem," the one, supposedly the leader, said.
Abby's jaw fell. "Ohhh bitch," she whispered. "You got five seconds to get off my ship before I whoop yo' asses into next week! Abby's been through enough today to have to deal with yo' bullshit!"
The Aliens looked at each other. One shook their head, the other shrugged.
"Oh. You don't like that word?" Abby cocked her head to the side, pretending to pout. "How bout this one-" She flipped her two middle fingers up at them. "Take your cum-gusslin', bitch-ass fuck-holes and rub'm with sandpaper you cuntwhistlin' assbag shit for brains!"
"Abby!" Kuki ran to her, dragging her away from the Alien.
"I'm sorry. Was that too hash?" Abby asked. "Good!" She stuck her chin out at them aggressively.
"Okay. You need to tone down the sass, alright?" Kuki said, pulling her away. "You're at like, drag queen levels of sass right now."
But Abby pushed off of her. "You either get off my ship or get that boy some fucking clothes."
"S-S-Stay back!" The first Alien pointed her gun at Abby. "I said freeze!" Abby didn't stop. The gun was fired, but Abby anticipated this and managed to pull it to the side and grab her enemy's suit. The Alien evaporated into the air, vanishing for a moment before returning behind Abby. It kicked her in the back, knocking her down.
"Whoa!" Wally couldn't help but be amazed.
"You are now under the custody of the Aqueous branch of the Galactic Kids Next Door-" The Alien leader said. "If you wish to file a complaint, you may do so after your court hearing." It rubbed what looked to be its shoulder. "Why must all teenagers be this difficult?"
"It is in their programing," another said.
Abby stayed on the ground, her heart still racing. "Please..." she said. "You don't understand. He has hypothermia. If we don't do something, he could die."
The Aliens looked at each other again. Two of them looked at the third expectantly. It shook its head. The leader turned back to Abby. "Die?"
"Yes! Die!"
"What is...die?"
Abby sat up, staring at the confused faces of the Alien children.
"You know," Wally said. "Die. Dead. Death. The Grateful Dead. Dead man walking, dead in the water-"
"Too soon, Wally," Kuki whispered at him.
"Death..." Abby crossed her legs. "It's like...the opposite of life."
But the Aliens were still confused. "What is life?"
"Oh my god," Wally groaned.
"Life is like...what's happenin' now it's..." She waved her hands around. "All this. And death is like..." Abby struggled.
"Like nap time," Kuki said. "But forever."
"Nap time?" one of the Aliens perked up. "I love nap time!"
"Well, not this nap time. This nap time is bad. Very bad." Abby stood to her feet. "Look at him! He's sick! He needs help!"
"If it is nap time," another Alien asked. "When does it end?"
Abby bit her lip. "Never. It never ends."
"Yes, but then what happens, after?"
"N-nobody..." Abby scratched her head. "Nobody really knows what happens...once you're dead, you're dead. You don't wake up. You stop breathing. Y-your...your heart stops working and your brain just kinda...goes blank."
"S-stop breathing?!" One Alien exclaimed in terror.
"Such a thing is not possible."
"It is possible! And it's gonna happen if you don't let us go!" She pleaded.
"H-hey...Abigail..." she heard a soft whisper from below. She bent down to Hoagie, whose skin was so pale his blue veins were starting to become visible. His voice quivered as he spoke. "I'm g-gonna...go to sleep...for a little bit..."
Abby grabbed his face, which still felt frozen. "No...no no, Baby. You can't sleep right now, okay? You have to stay awake." She lightly slapped his cheek. "Just for a little while longer. You can do that for me, can't you?"
"It's hot in here...do you feel hot?"
"I do not like the look of this," one Alien whispered to another. "Perhaps the Teenager is telling the truth?"
But the Alien next to it crossed its arms. "I do not believe it." It turned to its comrades. "If such a thing exists, why have we not heard of it before? I think this one is making fools of us."
"Are you kiddin' me?" Abby shot back. "Look at him!"
"Yes, and why is he tied up?" The leader Alien asked. "Is he your prisoner?"
"What? No." Abby rolled her eyes. "It's a long story. Look, if you do this for us, we will go with you, okay? No fighting, no tricks...please..."
"What do you think, Numbuh Q?" One Alien said to the leader.
It was quiet for a moment.
"I would kind of like to wait and see what happens..." the Alien finally said.
Abby couldn't contain her rage any more as she rose, her ears burning, her eyes blood-shot. "Oh...Lemmie show you what's gonna fuckin' happen-"
Kuki rushed to her side, pulling her away. "Abby, stop. It's not gonna help."
"Okay death is like..." Wally continued, as though he had never gotten off the previous conversation. "Like you get old, right? You're born, you get old...and then you stop getting old. But sometimes you don't get old, you just like stop, but you're still older than you were...it's basically like you're old and then you die...unless somebody kills you. Then you're not as old as you could be...ugh..." He rubbed his head. "This is hard."
The Aliens tensed. "Did you say...get old?"
Wally nodded. "Yeah, like agi-"
The scene shifted dramatically. The Aliens backed themselves into the wall, their weapons out and shaking as they huddled together in sheer terror. "Th-they have the aging virus," one whispered.
Wally frowned. "Not that crud again." He took a step forward.
"No! Stay back!" another Alien shouted. "Do not come any closer! I-I-I am warning you. I will shoot!"
"What do we do, Numbuh Q?"
"We could already be infected."
"We cannot take diseased prisoners back to the base."
"Well, we cannot let them go!"
"You!" The one called Numbuh Q shouted at Wally. "Where are you from?"
Abby sighed, stepping forward. "Earth."
The Aliens gasped again, moving back further.
"I-Impossible..." one quivered. "How did they pass the barrier?"
"We are going to get old!"
One Alien gasped. "What if death IS what happens when we get old?"
"No! It couldn't be? We are going to death?"
Numbuh Q stepped forward. "Ch-change of plans. You will tell us everything you know about the aging virus. And then we will take you into custody in a quarantined area where you stay until a cure has been found."
"Oh, fuck that!" Wally shouted.
"We don't know anything! Please! We're running out of time!"
"You're all a bunch'a pussies. Afraid of death. We face death every day, you don't see us pissin' our pants..." Wally took a step towards them and they all screamed. Suddenly, a smirk crossed his face. "Actually, we do have the aging virus. And it's very, very dangerous." He looked at his girlfriend for a second for assistance. "Ain't that right, Kuki?"
"Wally, what are you doing?" She whispered at him, sharply.
"H-how?" Numbuh Q quivered. "J-just how is it dangerous? Tell us this instant! How is the aging virus spread?"
"I guess we could tell you...but I don't know if we can trust you with that kinda information..." His face twisted into an maniacal grin. "You might have already caught it. You might not. No way of knowing...It could be spread by touch..." He reached his hand toward them and watched them wet themselves in fear. "It could even be in the air..."
"Wallabee." Abby muttered through her teeth. "Shut. Up."
"You will tell us this instant!"
"Oh...we don't know anything. In fact, none of us do." Their faces fell as his grin got wider. His finger pointed to Hoagie. "But he does."
Abby's eyes shot toward him, aghast and fuming.
"In fact," Wally continued to step over towards Abby. "He's an expert on the stuff. We were even on our way to our meeting with Nigel Uno before you clowns interrupted our very important business."
One of the Aliens turned to Abby. "Is this true?"
She was dumbfounded. "Uh..."
"Of course it's true," Wally said. "How do you think we even got off Earth to begin with? Of course, our mission is sooper secret. We wouldn'ta even said anything, but you put us in a bad position. What do you think the big wigs up at headquarters are gonna think when we tell them you blockheads interfered with our assignment?" He shook his head. "Nigel Uno certainly ain't gonna like that."
They looked down at Hoagie, who was muttering to himself something about listening to his grandmother and getting in the bathtub. Huddling together for a moment, they conversed privately. Finally, Numbuh Q approached them.
"Very well. We shall take this Teenager above for questioning," it said. "You will remain here until we have determined whether or not your story is valid. Numbuh F, tell Numbuh N to reroute for the time being."
"What? No!" Abby shouted. "Wait! Don't take-" The Aliens passed straight through her as they evaporated into thin air, taking Hoagie with them. She ran onto the empty floor, falling to her knees in exhaustion.
Wally gave a gloating grin. "Well. I guess we all know who today's hero is!" He puffed up his chest. "Please, please. Hold your applause."
Kuki clasped her hands together in excitement. "That was amazing, Wallybear! You're so smart!"
He scratched the back of his head, his cheeks blushing with pride. "I am pretty smart, aren't I?" His nose stuck high in the air. "I don't like to say I told ya so, Abby. But ya can't trust the ocean, and ya can't trust what's in the ocean, neither. I hope you learned a valuable lesson today."
"Wallabee..." Abby snarled, not looking at him. "What did you do?"
He grunted. "Uh, I saved our asses, that's what I did!"
"We don't know anything about the aging virus..." Abby spat back at him. "Hoagie doesn't know anything about the aging virus!"
"Well, yeah, duh, but they don't know that."
"Uh-huh," she lifted her head. "And what do you think they're gonna do when they find out?"
Wally blushed. "I didn't think about that..."
"No, you didn't."
There was a long pause.
"Oh, shit."
Abby cupped her hands over her head, pulling on her hair. Blowing out her air, she sank deeper into the floor.
It wasn't difficult for the Aqueous G:KND branch members to get Hoagie's body temperature back to normal. Their bodies were able to change and control all stages and temperatures of water, even change the molecular structure of other matter to H2O for a short period of time. They did not need ships to transport them because they could teleport instantly wherever they wanted to go, so evaporating the excess water from Hoagie's body and restoring it to its natural state was nothing more than child's play.
Hoagie felt the warmth of his body, the dry cloth of his shirt and boxers. He felt something cold poking at his face. He swiped it away, but it kept poking.
"Hey. Earth creature," a voice said.
He groaned, turning over. "Tommy...knock it off...leave me alone."
But the poking continued. "Teenager."
His eyes fluttered open. He still couldn't see anything. Sitting up, he watched a bunch of silvery blobs move around him. Squinting, he still could not make them out. He rubbed his wrists, realizing they had been untied.
"Are you awake, Teenager?"
"Uh..." Hoagie squinted harder. "Yeah." He moved closer to the blobs. Suddenly, a silvery-skinned face came directly into his view. He screamed and scrambled away from it, pressing his back against the wall. "Oh my God you're Aliens."
"Greetings," The Alien leader said. "I am Numbuh Q. This is Numbuhs N, F, and C. We are Sector H20 of the Aqueous branch of the Galactic Kids Next Door." They got closer to him. "You are under our custody and will disclose all valuable information upon request."
"Ugh. My head..."
"You will feel a slight nausea and light headedness for the next few minutes. It is a result of the temperature restoration process. We expect this will not in any way effect the exactness of your answers."
He looked around. "Where are my friends? Are you here? Guys?"
"Your teammates will wait downstairs until the questioning is finished."
"Questioning?" Hoagie blinked. "Is this cause we cut a hole in your wall?"
The blobs moved around again. "We have been informed that you have very valuable information regarding the aging virus..."
"The aging virus?" His brows raised.
"You are all infected."
"Uh...I guess so. If you wanna think about it that way, sure?"
One Alien got right into his face. "Is it contagious? How does it spread? Are we going to get old and die?" Its shouts were panicked in an almost comedic way.
"Well, yeah. Everybody does."
"Negative," Numbuh Q stated. "Our people have not heard of such a concept."
That made thinks click. "Oh," he placed his fist in his palm in recognition. "You guys are immortal, aren't you?"
"You must tell us what you were going to tell Nigel Uno about the aging virus," Numbuh Q said.
"Y-you know about Nigel Uno? Did Abigail tell you?"
A few of them gasped. "So it is true..."
"We need to know if we are in danger of catching the virus. We have been in direct contact with it and..." The Alien shook. "We are so scared! You have to tell us! Is there a cure? Will we need to be quarantined too?!"
Panic started to set in as all four Aliens started screaming and crying.
"Hey, hey, Whoa...guys...gals...gender-neutral...Alien...children. Look," Hoagie said as he tried to calm them down. "You're gonna be fine."
The wailing stopped.
"Y-you are sure?"
"Yeah, you're not gonna catch the aging virus. I promise."
But one Alien, Numbuh C, was skeptical. "How can you be so certain?"
Hoagie leaned back on the wall, feeling more at ease now with the situation. "Well, probably because it doesn't exist."
Silence.
"Oh, yeah. The aging virus?" Hoagie explained. "There's no such thing. Aging is a product of your genetic code, it's not a virus you can catch like the flu. That's stupid."
"No...aging virus? But that cannot be."
"It's really not impossible," he said. "You see, aging happens on a microscopic level with your cells, though no one quite agrees on how it happens. There are prevailing theories, free radicals, evolution, cross-linking, genetic programming, the systematic turning on and off of genes..." he stopped himself. "Uh, but anyway it starts when you're a baby."
"What is..." one of them asked. "A baby?"
Hoagie nodded. "There we go. That explains it. So, you guys don't have parents either?"
"What is a parents?"
"Interesting. Okay, here's the deal. You are what's called immortal. You're not going to age and die like we do. So, yeah."
"So we are going to life!" Numbuh C shouted. "Life forever!"
Numbuh Q frowned. "But the Galactic Kids Next Door said that the aging virus was spreading...how could it do this if it is not contagious?"
"I don't know," Hoagie admitted. "But children on Earth are suffering because of their decision to disband their Kids Next Door branch and quarantine the planet. It's given a lot of bad people a lot of power. Bad Adults."
"And you are going to headquarters," Numbuh F said. "To give this information to Nigel Uno and convince him to re-instate Earth into the KND."
Hoagie's eyes widened. "Y-yeah. How did you know?"
"Your teammate explained you were on a very important mission," Numbuh Q said. "But I did not think that it was that serious. I admit, I am reluctant to accept your hypothesis as its implications go against the information given by Headquarters. I cannot trust the word of a Teenager over my superiors."
"Oh, you don't have to take my word for it," Hoagie said. "I can prove it."
That silenced the room.
"Prove?" Numbuh Q said. "How?"
"Science. There's a microscope in the lab. You'll be able to see for yourself." He looked up. "But...uh...I might need some help." He grinned sheepishly.
"Okay, see that?" Hoagie sat behind the microscope. "That's one of my skin cells. See all those little round dots?"
"I see," Numbuh Q was the first to get a look. "Yes! There they are!"
"Right. Notice how some are all together, but some are splitting into two? The nucleus of the cell will divide first, that's the big round part where all the chromosomes are."
"I do know, chromosome. Yes. For genetic material."
"Exactly. Now if we take one of your cells, we can see if any of them are undergoing reproduction."
"Where did you come up with this?"
"This is like...basic science."
"Fascinating."
"I wanna see!" Numbuh C said. Then Numbuhs N and F weren't far behind, each amazed by the tiny microscope. They fought for a while over who would provide him with the next sample, but they finally settled on the fact that Numbuh Q was the leader, so they should do it.
Hoagie slipped the cell under the microscope. He stared in disbelief. "...whoa."
"Whoa?" Numbuh Q asked, startled. They leaned into their team. "Is whoa good?"
"Whoa can be used as a term of exclamation for something exciting in a positive or negative fashion."
"I don't know what to say. I've never seen anything like this," Hoagie said as he showed them the slide. "No mitosis, no cell division of any kind...no shortened telomeres."
"What?"
"Telomeres. It's the end of the chromosome that shortens during cell division. But that's impossible. How could you even heal yourself from injury without cellular reproduction? Selective mitosis maybe?"
"Injury?" Numbuh C asked. "You mean a boo-boo?"
"Y-yeah," he said trying not to laugh.
"I am unsure," Numbuh Q said. "Boo boos go away very quick."
"I had a boo boo on my butt once," Numbuh F said.
"Right. Well," Hoagie said. "That should do it. Sorry you had to be scared like that. But my diagnosis is you have nothing to worry about."
"Thank you," Numbuh Q said graciously. "What is your name, Earth Teenager?"
"Hoagie," he said. "P. Gilligan...Jr."
"That is a very odd name," Numbuh N said.
"Why do you have so many?"
Hoagie lifted his eyebrow. "That's not even all of it."
"We are very sorry to have caused you so much trouble."
The nerd blushed. "No, no. These things happen. But listen, if you could not tell anyone about us...It's sort of a secret. We're not really supposed to leave the Earth's atmosphere and until we find out what's really going on, we'd rather not cause a panic with the other kids."
"Yes of course," the Alien said. "If there is anything we can do to make it up..."
Hoagie smiled.
"Well, actually..."
As soon as the door was unlatched, Abby was out like a bat out of hell. She climbed the ladder, Wally and Kuki following. She saw the G:KND members on the flight deck, but Hoagie was nowhere to be seen.
"What happened?" She asked. "Is he okay?"
Numbuh Q walked up to her, a look of sadness on their face. "I am sorry."
Abby's face fell. She thought she would throw up.
"Our interference in your mission has caused you much grief," they said. "Your teammate explained to us everything. They were very informative."
"T-teammate? You mean..."
"Hoagie P. Gilligan Jr." Numbuh Q passed Abby. "We will leave you now. Here," they handed her a small round object. "You have not traveled this far into the Universe before. This will give you access to any planet you wish. There is a Teen planet called Bacchanus not too far from here. They have a S.L.I.N.G.S.H.O.T. there. I understand that you do not want to draw any unnecessary attention to yourselves on your mission, especially to the G:KND. It will be best for you to blend in with the other Teenagers for now." Numbuh Q turned back to Abby, who was in such a state of shock, she couldn't move. "Ah, yes. You came here for the Nostronarium, correct?"
"Uh...yeah..."
The Alien evaporated for a minute, returning with a glowing blue rock. "Here you are," she tossed it to Abby, who thought she might cry.
"Thank you."
"Your teammate is in the lab if you wish to see them," they said. "They informed us of what is happening on your planet...our heart goes out to your children..." their voice was melancholy. "If there is anything we can do, please let us know." It grinned. "The Galactic Kids Next Door is here to help!"
Abby nodded.
"Goodbye, Earth Teenagers!" Numbuh C waved on their tip toes.
"I like them," Numbuh F said. "They smell like candy."
"I have never met a nice Teenager before," Numbuh N said.
"You have never met any Teenager before," Numbuh Q stated.
"Have so!"
"Have not!"
"Have so!"
"Have not!"
"Have so times infinity!"
"Have not times infinity plus one!"
"That is impossible! Infinity is infinity!"
They evaporated into the air, while two of the Aliens stuck their tongues out at each other. As soon as they were gone, Abby burst out running again, this time towards the lab. However, as she reached door, her feet halted. Her whole body froze. The day's events flashed in front of her like a whirlwind.
What was she going to say to him?
How was she going to be able to face him?
Wally and Kuki walked by her into the room. She held her breath, closed her eyes, and stepped through the door. When she entered, she saw him sitting on the floor, propped up against the wall. His eyes were closed. At first, she felt a surge of fear, but then she stopped herself.
"Aww," Kuki said, bending down towards him. "He's sleeping."
"Must've passed out after the Aliens left," Wally said.
"Should we move him?"
He shook his head. "Nah, just let him sleep. You wouldn't be able'ta lift him anyway."
Abby exhaled, setting the rock on the table.
Then she turned, without a word, and walked out the door.
"Abby?"
But she was already gone.
END TRANSMISSION