Chapter Summary: An old enemy arrives at the most inopportune moment. Wally is shown the not-so-glamourous side of being in the KND as a result. Meanwhile, Abby is worried she's made a huge mistake.

IMPORTANT TRIGGER WARNING: Please see end of story for content or continue with caution if avoiding spoilers.

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Code: [RESTRICTED]

Operation: P.L.U.M.B.I.N.G.

Potty

Lipped

Unraveling

Malefactor

Bitingly

Irritates

Navigating

Group

Written by OfficiallyWrong with properties owned by Tom Warburton

and Cartoon Network

INCOMING TRANSMISSION...

Location: Planet Earth

He paced up and down the hallway, his large boots stomping all over the Persian rug. The guards stationed outside the door covered their ears in annoyance, whispering as he moved past them. He didn't listen to their words. His mind was plagued with his own thoughts. This was ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous! He continued to pace. The muscles in his back began to ache, his calves sore from the sudden bout of activity they were experiencing. The door at the end of the hall crept open, a small middle-aged woman with thick glasses strung up with a chain around her neck peeped outside. In her hands, she held a wooden clipboard. Her voice cracked as she pushed up her glasses.

"Mr...ugh..." she squinted, lifting her eyes up to see him. "Toilet-nator?"

The man stopped his pacing. "Yes!" His exclamation echoed through the corridors. "Finally!" His smile restored to his face as he waddled up to the woman. "You know I have been waiting here for two whole days? I was beginning to think you guys had forgotten about me..."

The woman looked up at him, unimpressed. "Sign here, please." She held the clipboard out to him.

"Oh, yes. Certainly." He proceeded to sign his 'name' onto the sheet. "You know, I did my fair share of fighting against the Kids Next Door back in the day..."

"Uh-huh."

"I even made an arch nemesis!" He clenched his fist. "Numbuh 4!"

"That's great," the woman replied, unamused. "I need your initial."

"I swore one day I would exact my revenge on those bratty kids! For years I waited, sitting in the shadows and waiting for my plan to come to light! Now is the time! I will have my retribution! I will have victory! For I am..."

"Mr. Toilentaor."

"Right! Mr. Toiletnator! Uh...well, no. Actually. Mr. Toiletnator sounds so...I don't wanna say old...Plus it doesn't really work with the reference and all..."

The woman took the clipboard. "Thank you, Mr. Toiletnator. Father will be with you in just a moment."

The Toiletnator clasped his hands together. "Oh, goodie! He and I go way back you know."

"Yes. I'm sure you do."

The man, dressed head to toe in a toilet-themed super-villain costume, marched into the study. It was dark, with only a few dim candles and the roar of the fireplace.

"You have five minutes," the lady said, slamming the door behind her, leaving the Toiletnator in the dark.

He huffed. "Well, that was uncalled for." He walked up to the chair. "Hiya! Father, Sir! It's me-"

"Yes, Toiletnator," the stern voice from behind the chair said. "I know it's you. What do you want?"

"Ugh!" He pouted. "You won't believe what I had to do to even get into this place! I was put on a waiting list! Which wasn't so bad, but then I had to do all of this paper work, and normally I like paper-"

Father groaned. "Today, Toiletnator."

"Oh, right." He scratched his head. "Well, see, I noticed you put me on, uh, toilet duty, Sir?"

"Yes. That's your...thing...isn't it?"

"Well, yes Sir, but I really think I could be of more help. I've been practicing my moves and I'm ready to scrub off some rebel scum! Haha! Get it? Scum? Cause I'm the-"

"Yes. I know."

"So what do you think? Are you gonna give me a mission?" He batted his eyes.

Father rubbed his temples, not bothering to turn around. "Look. We've been over this. Your brand of...uh...whatever it is you do, just isn't needed anymore. You're much more useful to everyone on toilet duty."

"I know you care about your toilet's Father, Sir. And I respect that, but I really think I could do more! Cree failed her mission. Let me try!"

"You think you can find Nigel Uno?" Father started to laugh. "You? Who couldn't even defeat the stupidest Kids Next Door operative? You're the most pathetic Adult I've ever seen! Look at you..." He turned around. "What even is this? You're dressed like a roll of toilet paper! I can't have you running around ruining my good image."

The Toiletnator's lower lip quivered. "B-but...I can do it! I know I can! Just give me a chance! I won't let you down."

"Let me make this simple, Toiletnator. I. Don't. Want. You. I. Don't. Like. You. Nobody. Likes. You. Nobody wants you on their team. Nobody wants to be friends with you. You are a loser." Father spun back around. "Now go, I don't know, swab the poop deck or something. Let the real villains handle it."

Fighting back tears, the Toiletnator sat up straight. "Well, fine then! Who needs you! I'm gonna get my own spaceship and capture Sector V! Then you'll be sorry!"

"Uh-huh. Sure." He shooed him off. "Close the door on your way out."

"I will not!" He stormed out, only to return a few moments later. "Actually, I bet the glare from the hallway is annoying, so I will close it...no!" He puffed up his chest. "I will SLAM it!" He stuck out his tongue making a raspberry at his boss before slamming the door.

He walked down the hall, grumbling past the woman with the clipboard. It was always the same. Toiletnator, that's a stupid idea. Toiletnator, you're just a hack. He would show them. He would show them all.

Sector V was going down.

Episode 13

Water surrounded the child's head, his ears, nose, eyes, even his mouth, despite his attempts to close it. In. out. Up. Down. The soap stung. It tasted hard on his tongue. Up. Breathe! Down. The water was scalding hot. It burned his skin. Up. Breathe! Don't talk! Breathe! Down. He felt the grip on his air get tighter. The water swirled around him. 5 seconds...10...he squirmed, unable to push himself up. His hands grasped the acrylic, but he couldn't hold on to anything. His lungs started to shrivel. Finally, he felt his head yanked out of the water.

"What did you say?"

He could barely hear her voice anymore.

"I'm sorry-"

Down. He forgot to breathe this time.

Up.

He gasped, getting as much air as he could. "I'm sorry!" he shouted again. "I'm sorry!"

"Next time your mother tells you to get in the tub, you get in the damn tub!"

Down.

This time it was shorter.

Up.

There was a pause. "What are you looking at?" the old voice cooed. "Get outta here before I make mincemeat outta you! Go on! Scram!"

The child opened his left eye just enough to see the blurry image of a tiny blue dot scoot out of his sight.

Down.

Up.

"Your mother, what does she do?" the old woman said. "She cooks for you, cleans for you, does everything for you! And you brats sit here and complain that the water's too hot, or the bubbles aren't bubbly enough..."

The boy hurled himself over the side of the tub, coughing the water out of his lungs.

"Kids today. They got no respect." She pulled the boy up by the ear. "I'm not gonna put up with it. Your mother, she puts up with it. God, bless her. She puts up with all your kvetching! Look at me. I'm 90 years old, I got a bunion the size of a dinner roll. When I was your age, we didn't even have fancy bath tubs or hot water. But you know what we did have? We had some goddamn manners!"

Down.

Up.

Tears were streaming down the boy's face. "I'm sorry."

"Damn right you're sorry!"

Back down.

Back up.

"I'm sorry...I'll be good-"

The child's head crashed back into the water. His hand grabbed at the old fingers which were laced into his hair. His nose brushed the bottom of the tub as his ears rang. He tried to pry the fingers off, but eventually, the child decided that it would be better to wait until it was over. If would ever be over...

Up.

"I'm sorry."

Down.

Hoagie's eyes twitched as he mumbled. "I'm sorry..."

The waves flooded his head, the water turning salty.

"I'm sorry..."

"Hoagie?"

"I'm sorry..."

"Hoagie?"

One of his eyes flipped open. The light shone almost directly into it, causing him to squint. He opened the second eye, closing the first. He alternated for a while, becoming accustomed to the light.

"Good morning, sleepy." He heard a very sweet voice greeting him.

His face twitched. "K-Kuki? Is that you?"

"How are you feeling?"

"Fine. A little light-headed I guess." he said.

"Were you having a bad dream?"

Hoagie scratched his head. "Uh...I don't remember."

"Oh. Well, I have good news!" Kuki said as she bounced from one side of the bed to the other. "Your vitals are good, no frozen limbs, and the cut on your forehead is almost healed!"

He touched his right temple, feeling a bandage over it. "Was that there before?"

Kuki giggled. "Well, considering everything you went through, it's probably the last thing on your mind."

Hoagie rubbed his feet together. Everything that happened within the last twelve hours felt like a blur. How long had he been sleeping? He didn't even remember getting in a bed. His eyes raised up to the ceiling, feeling the soft sheets between his fingers. The skin from his legs brushed against them. Wait...He lifted the sheet up, dropping it immediately.

His face grew florid. "Kuki...where are my clothes?"

The girl grinned awkwardly. "Yeah, about that..."

"My glasses."

"Right. They're-"

"Abby." His breath shortened as he started to remember. "Kuki, where's Abby?"

"She's perfectly fine. I ran some light tests just to be safe, but everything seems to be normal with her," Kuki responded gleefully.

He sighed with relief. It figured she would avoid him after what happened. That was fine, though. She had to deal with him enough already.

"We'll get you some new glasses. They should have them on the Teen planet," Kuki tried to keep the conversation going. "So you won't have to worry about seeing for the rest of the trip."

"Teen planet?"

"Abby says they have a S.L.I.N.G.S.H.O.T. there. We're back on track!"

"How am I gonna get an exact prescription?" he whined sinking back down in the bed. "This blows."

Kuki bit her lip. She waited a little while before responding. "I have something that might cheer you up."

Hoagie smiled. "Valium?"

"No. Wait here." She left his side for a moment.

"What else am I gonna do?" he droned sarcastically.

"Hold out your hands..." she said, her voice getting closer again.

Hoagie did.

He felt a soft material fall into them. Though most everything was a blurry mess, he could feel the smooth texture of leather, the hard plastic. His eyes widened as he brought the object forward. It was a green cloth with little yellow flowers all over it. Stitched together with black thread so he could clearly see the seams. A pair of yellow-tinted goggles dangled from the cloth. As he turned it around, he noticed patches of old grey fabric woven in with the new. A fresh "2" was stitched onto the front. In the back inside, a flap of grey fabric still held the name Hogarth P. Gilligan written in permanent marker.

"I wanted to give it to you before, but then everything happened with you and Abby, so I figured I would wait till you were feeling better," Kuki said in her usual innocent tone.

Hoagie couldn't see anymore. Not because of the distance this time, but because his eyes were filling with tears. He clutched the newly mended aviator cap and goggles to his chest.

"Wally thinks the flowers are too girly, but who doesn't love flowers?" she said. "D-do you like it?" He didn't say anything. Kuki sighed. "I-if you don't like it you can tell me-"

But Hoagie shook his head. "He'll love it. Thank you, Kuki..." He wiped his eyes. "This is the nicest thing...anyone's ever done for me..."

"Not too girly?"

"Not at all."

"Phew!" She joked. "That's a relief. Cause after I finished it I found a bunch of these grey jumpsuits that I could've used but it just seemed so predictable, you know?" She brushed her hair back. "That's what we get for living like hobos."

Hoagie laughed, his wide, white smile brimming. "Life on the intergalactic railroad." Kuki chuckled alongside him. "Hey, Kuki. Do you know why they call them spaceships?"

"No, why?"

"Because they sail across galax-seas."

"Hoagie, no."

The boy laughed at his own joke for the first time in a very long time without a hint of hesitation. Kuki shook her head but smiled. Hoagie wiped his nose, his cheeks flushed. The sides of his mouth hurt when he smiled. The grin took up nearly his whole face. Tiny tears hid in the corner of his eyes.

Galax-seas.

Good one.

Wally walked down the hall, his headphones placed over his ears. His feet stopped as he saw a crouched figure, its knees knocked together and its head down in its arms over them. Her hair fell over the sides of her face, uncombed. A red hat lay beside her.

"Go in," Wally said as he approached her, not bothering with a greeting.

Abby raised her head slightly. "Huh?"

"You've been sittin here six hours," he spoke bluntly.

Abby's head lowered as she sighed.

"If you're so worried, just go in."

"I can't."

"Sure you can." There was no response. "Did somethin' happen?"

Abby squeezed herself. "I screwed up."

Turning off his music, he let his headphones fall over his neck. "You talkin' about the mission or that fight?" he asked. Abby sighed again, moving deeper into herself, ashamed to even speak. "Y'know, I was startin' to think you were one of those stoic badass types like you see in the movies, the ones who don't give a shit about nothin'. But, man. The way you fired into those alien guys? I thought you were gonna bite their faces off. You were so fuckin' cool."

"Cool." Abby spat her words. They were sour to the tongue. "You think it was cool?"

"Well yeah-"

"A leader is supposed'ta be calm under pressure," she said sternly before he could speak. "They're supposed to make reasonable judgements and protect their team members, not let their emotions get the better of them."

"Yeah, but-"

"I lead a mission into unknown territory without doing proper research. I let my subordinate take a hit for me that placed him in a critical situation, and then instead of doing the responsible thing and taking the loss I risked myself and the mission and the rest of my team and on top of that I lost my temper in front of the very people we came all this way to contact. Just what part about all of this do you think was cool?"

Wally blinked, startled. "Uh...the part where you saved someone? How about that?"

"He wouldn't have needed saving if I had just done my job."

"But it all worked out in the end," Wally said. "So it doesn't matter now."

"What if it hadn't?" Abby looked up at him, her gaze pointed.

"It ain't productive to deal in what ifs," Wally said slyly, but she didn't seem amused. "You made a mistake, Abby. It happens."

But Abby shook her head, rising to her feet. "Mistakes don't win wars."

"I think you're missin' the point here..."

"I think you're missin' the bigger picture," she said. "You n' Kuki would'a been stranded out here. You realize that, don't you? The whole planet is dependin' on us to finish this mission. We could have lost everything! Taking a risk like that was completely irrational. I should never have even attempted it."

"Jesus fucking Christ, Abby!" Wally shouted. "You're not a superhero! You're allowed to be a little selfish!"

"Shh!" Abby moved into him. "He'll hear you."

"You're seriously gonna make this about the mission? You're gonna be that person?" His voice was quieter, but not by much. "Don't be a fucking idiot!"

"He told me if anything happened, I needed to finish the mission. I promised him I would, but when it came down to it..." She clenched her teeth. "I could have just-"

"Let him die?"

Abby stopped.

"You're right. You could've. So why didn't you?" he asked. His glare was unwavering as it cut through her. She felt her chest tighten. Sweat rolled down her neck as the words echoed in her head over and over again.

"I couldn't-" she started, but a lump caught the words in her throat. She looked down at the floor and sighed. Wally waited patiently for her to finish. She tried again. "I couldn't-" But nothing came out that time either.

"Yeah," Wally said. "That's right."

Suddenly, the door cracked open. A smiling Kuki appeared out of it. "Well, everything seems to be going super well! He's still a little bit in shock, but overall a successful recovery!" Kuki grinned at Abby and her boyfriend. "You can go in and visit-"

Abby picked up her hat from the floor and put it over her head, walking away from them.

"Any time...you...like..." Kuki finished as she watched their leader leave the hallway. Kuki wrung her hands, walking up to Wally who was also watching Abby.

The boy sighed, placing a hand on her shoulder. "She'll come around, Kuki. These things just take time."

Kuki nodded. "Yeah."

Abby sat in her captain's chair. One hour passed. Two...three...She found herself counting them. She hadn't been able to stop counting for a while now. It was as though time was shrinking, compressing her into her tiny ship. The time she was wasting trying to get to Nigel, the time she lost in the TND, the time it took for a heart to stop beating. There wasn't enough.

You could've laughed.

She brought her feet up onto the chair, hugging her knees. She needed to count something other than seconds. Stars. There were too many to count, but that oddly brought her comfort. There was something in life that was infinite...

After a while, she grew tired of counting and ended up staring into the cosmos. When a tiny flashing light arrived in the distance, she paid it no mind. However, as it moved forward, her attention moved toward it. What was it? A ship? She squinted. As the minutes passed, the object got bigger, taking shape. It was a ship. She sat up in her seat. It was nothing, she thought. But the ship stayed on course, moving closer. The airs on the back of her neck stood up as the shape of the ship finally came into view. It was big and black, with large canons on either side. The lights scanned the space. Searchlights.

Abby's eyes widened as her breath started to pick up.

She knew that ship.

Instantly, she grabbed the communication device on the dashboard. "Attention. This is a code red alert. We are being followed. I am shutting down all operations until further notice," she announced to the rest of the crew. "Your orders are to stay out of sight until the coast is clear." She slammed down the receiver, her body getting tenser as the ship grew closer. From behind, she heard the patter of feet.

"We're bein' followed?!" Wally shouted into the room.

"By who?" Kuki asked, who was right behind him, dragging a perplexed and practically blind Hoagie behind her, who was wearing one of the grey jumpsuits she had found earlier.

Abby stared at them, incredulously. "Do y'all just not hear what I say?"

Wally scoffed. "Yeah, yeah. Stay behind. Protect yourself. All that crud."

"What's going on, Abby?" Kuki asked. "How can we help?"

Abby sighed, turning around. She pointed to the ship. "There."

"Psh," Wally shrugged. "They don't look so tough."

"That's not an Alien ship," Abby stated. "It's from Earth." Her eyes narrowed. "An Adult ship."

Hoagie felt his skin grow cold. "Father," he whispered.

Kuki gasped. "N-no way. He found us all the way out here?"

"R-relax, Kuki," Wally tried to console her, his own voice unable to hide its quiver. "We're in an Alien spaceship. Ain't no way he'll know it's us." He looked over at Hoagie for confirmation, but the look on his face didn't bring him any sort of peace. "What's with you?"

Hoagie stumbled backwards, slowly inching his way away from the window, slipping out of Kuki's hand. "Abigail..." he whispered.

But Abby straightened up. Her back was still turned to them. "No way I'm gonna lose to you. Not today," she mumbled out into the distance.

Suddenly, the ship started to shake, the lights flickering for only an instant. The team grabbed the nearby walls and chairs to stabilize themselves. Abby's heart began to beat faster as Kuki's shrill voice bounced around the room.

"It's gone!" she squealed.

Wally tensed. "But where did it go?"

The ship shook again, this time halting entirely. Abby looked up on the window. In front of it was a tiny little box with some Alien writing. She grimaced. If only they could read the text, then they would have been able to use the features of the ship to escape. However, that was impossible now.

Wally swallowed. "What if we just ignore the creepy message and wait for it to go away?"

Kuki nodded.

But the screen opened up anyway, revealing a silhouetted being on the other side. Its voice was altered into a deep, static-filled tone, unreachable at any normal register.

"At long last, I've found you," it said. "Sector V."

Kuki screamed, hiding behind Wally who was shaking in his boots. "A-A-Are you Father?!" he demanded.

"No," Abby told him, her eyes planted on the screen. "It's probably just one of his goons."

The creature smiled. "I am no Goon, My Lady."

"Don't call me Lady," she hissed back.

"What did you do with Joey!" Wally moved away from Kuki. "You freaks better not'a hurt my baby brother!"

"Well, if it isn't Numbuh 4," the shadow said.

"Abby!" Kuki exclaimed. "Let's get out of here!"

"I can't. The ship is stuck. It won't move."

"What?!"

Suddenly, they heard footsteps coming from outside the bridge. "After all these years. I finally have you right where I want you."

"Go! Hide!" Abby commanded.

"Hide where?" Kuki asked.

"We're not leaving you here," Wally stated.

"Prepare, Sector V..."

The door slipped open automatically, steam filling the room. The shadowy figure approached.

"To meet your..." It stepped into the light. "DOOM!"

The tall, lanky figure stumbled into the room, waving his hands around in an overly-dramatic fashion. His voice was now normalized, higher pitched and still cracked as though he was still going through puberty. On his wrists and around his head, he wore rolls of toilet paper, around his neck a light, plastic toilet seat.

Abby stared at him, her jaw already on the floor. "Toiletnator?!"

Hoagie scrunched his nose. "Toiletnator?"

"Yes! It is I!" The man screeched. "The Toiletnator! I have returned!"

Wally and Kuki were no longer standing ready, unable to stop themselves from snickering every time the villain said his name.

"Toilet-nator. Like a terminator...of toilets," Hoagie mumbled.

"Oh man! It's been so long since I've seen you guys! Did you like my entrance?" He asked, getting hyped. "I recorded that message ahead of time. Then I slipped in through the back and came in all dramatic and stuff! I bet you not even Father himself would have been that cool!" He blushed. "What do you guys think? You think I could have used more fog? Make it extra spooky?"

Abby blinked, her breath regulating. She had never been so happy to see a toilet-themed villain in her life. "Abby can't believe this. Father sent the Toiletnator after us?" she asked, unable to wrap her head around it. "That's a new low."

The Toiletnator laughed awkwardly, scratching the back of his paper rolled mask. "Well, not exactly..."

"Numbuh 5 really don't have time for this," she groaned.

"Well, that's very unfortunate! For you! I'm here to exact my revenge!" His enthusiasm was met with silence. "You know, my revenge? On the Kids Next Door? My sworn enemy?" He didn't seem bothered by the following lack of response. "And once I do, I'll bring you back to Father and then he'll just have to give me a promotion!"

Wally slunk over to Abby. "You know this guy?" he sniggered.

Abby rolled her eyes. "Oh yeah."

"Wow! You guys are so old now!" the Toiletnator exclaimed. "Is that really Numbuh 3?"

Kuki flushed. "Who, me?"

"Look how cute you are!"

She kicked the ground. "Naw," she gushed. "You really think so?"

"Oh, yes!" He went over to Hoagie. "And Numbuh 2!" he gasped. "I can see your face!"

"Wow..." Hoagie blushed as he finally saw the man cross into his line of vision. "And I can see your...everything. Toilet paper looks...durable."

"It's ultra-absorbent! Extra strength!" He said, proudly. "And soft as a pillow. Feel it!"

"Oh no, I-" but the Toiletnator stripped off a piece of the cloth, rubbing it onto Hoagie's cheek. "Huh," he said. "That is nice."

Wally snickered louder. The Toiletnator turned his head, his eyes lit with a fire. "And you-"

The boy stopped. "Me?"

"Numbuh 4...My arch nemesis."

Wally still couldn't stop from smiling. "Ho, am I? What did I do, Tee-pee your house?"

"I've waited years to find you. Now I have your right where I-" But the Toiletnator just frowned, softening his gaze. "Oh, what's the use? You're all grown up now. Practically Adults! I can't fight Adults. It's against my morals!"

Hoagie's brow lifted. "Right. But fighting kids is totally okay."

"Well, Duh!" He waved his hands in the air. "Kids are the worst! They always cry and whine about everything! And they always make fun of me! Using my toilet paper for their stinky messes!" He clenched his fists.

Hoagie tried not to laugh. "It's toilet paper?"

"That's why I've been planning my revenge! But..." he sunk back down. "Now that you're Adults, it just doesn't feel right."

"Right," Abby said. "Well, it was great to see you Toiletnator and tell Father he's a scumbag for us, will ya? Thanks. Have a nice trip." She tried to push him out the door.

"Oh, no. I can't leave!" the Toiletnator said. "I have to take you back to my boss." He gained his determined face again. "I will destroy you even though it will hurt inside! It is my burden to bear!"

Abby sighed. "Abby was afraid you'd say that." Her foot shot up, slamming over his neck and knocking him to the ground in an instant. The middle-aged man was unconscious as soon as his head hit the floor.

"Don't you think that was a little harsh?" Kuki asked. "He's just a sad little man."

"Sorry, Kuki," Abby stated. "We can't take any chances. If he sends a message to Father telling him our location, we'll be screwed. I'm taking him to the brig. We'll figure out what to do from there."

She gripped him by the scruff of his neck, dragging him out of the room. Wally followed, but Kuki and Hoagie stayed behind still processing what had just happened.

"Can you believe this guy?" Wally howled as he followed Abby down the stairs where the prisoners used to be held. "Ooh look at me. I'm the Toilet-nator! I'm gonna take you down with my rolls of fury! Haha!"

But Abby wasn't laughing. "Regardless of who it is, he found us. We need to get to that S.L.I.N.G.S.H.O.T. as soon as possible."

"And he thinks I'm his arch nemesis! The toilet guy! My arch nemesis!" he ignored her. "What a nut."

Abby smirked. "Well..."

Wally stopped smiling. "Abby." He scowled. "Please don't tell me that shit-breath over there is my real arch nemesis."

She shrugged. "You do have quite a history."

"But it's not like...I mean, I fought cooler villains than that, right?" Silence. "Abby!"

"Wally, not all super villains are fire-breathing demons. A lot of them are just people who are fed up over one thing or another. They just wanna protect their way of life. In reality, evil's pretty mundane," she said.

"Isn't that what the Kids Next Door does too, though?" he asked. "With Adults, I mean? To protect their way of life or whatever."

"Except the KND would never try to eliminate Adults," she said bluntly. "Even though they really are a lot of the problem."

But as she said those words, something ate away at her. Something had been eating at her the whole time.

Wally pursed his lips. "Maybe we should."

"We don't blame innocents for the crimes of the guilty. They're trained in their janked-up ideology, yeah, but we wanna help make the world safe for everyone including them. That takes time for some folks to understand." she stated. "Most Adults just want to live their lives in peace, but they don't see the consequences of their choices for themselves. They want to believe the system works so they do, and they justify a lot of pain because of it."

"Like decommissioning."

Abby stopped. The stillness settled back into the air.

"Yeah," she whispered heavily. "Like decommissioning."

Abby and Wally brought the middle-aged super villain to the brig in the basement of the ship where they were first held by the Highway Man. She had hoped that there wouldn't be a need to use it on their trip, but now was sort of grateful they had it. It took her a while, but she managed to put up the force field. They closed him in as Wally wandered around, picking up the various doodads and alien technology that the Highway Man had stolen.

He picked up something long and skinny, looking like a weapon. "Whoa! Check this out! I bet you could pop a couple'a heads with this bad boy!"

Abby dusted off her hands. The place was filthy. "Don't mess with stuff when you don't know what it does."

"I'm not," Wally whined. "I was just sayin' it's cool. I bet we could use all sorts'a this stuff when we get to the G:KND." He tried to use the gun as a sword, but it went off. Abby gave him a sour look.

"Wally, for the last time," she explained, tiredly. "We don't want to fight the Galactic Kids Next Door. We are trying to make peace with them."

The boy huffed. "Why? They're just a bunch'a buggery brats."

"Buggery brats with no concept of death," she reminded him. Wally continued to look through the piles of junk.

"If they're really immortal then where do all the Adults come from?"

Abby leaned against the bars of the cell. "The aging virus, I guess. It's what Nigel went to the G:KND to find a cure for. It's been spreading."

Wally frowned. "You don't believe that crud, do you?" He stepped away from the pile of junk. "That we're diseased or some shit?"

She crossed her arms. "It's complicated. We really don't know that much about it. We've got no idea what the rest of the Universe is actually like. They've been keepin' us in the dark, even after Nigel left."

There was a long pause. "Can I ask a question?"

"Depends on the question."

"How come you're so chill about this Nigel Uno?"

Abby could feel her body getting stiffer. She knew the question was going to come up eventually, but she hoped to have come up with a reasonable answer by then. "Abby wouldn't say chill..."

"You haven't seen the guy in years and you're still sure he's gonna be on our side when we see him?"

Her voice was quiet. "I don't know. But I know Nigel-"

"You knew Nigel."

"I know Nigel. He ain't changed."

"You've changed," Wally said. "We changed, and we stayed on Earth. He's on the other side of the bloody Universe!"

"I have not changed!" Abby argued. "And how would you even know?"

"Cause you're different from when we met," he confessed.

"Different? Different how?"

"I dunno! Just different," he tried. "Like before you were always lookin' straight through us and now..."

Abby's eyes opened wider.

"It's like you woke up."

She lowered her head, hiding her embarrassed face. He wasn't wrong. Since Aqueous, or perhaps even earlier than that, everything had become more tactile, more alive, more fragile. She couldn't just go through the motions anymore. Doing so only got them into deeper trouble. For the first time in years, she touched her skin, feeling the hairs prickle. She noticed that the air was musty in the basement, that Wally's hair was getting longer and needed a trim. That he wore his shirt half tucked in and half out. It was as though someone splashed a bucket of cold water over her face. She was there, in that room. With him, not peering at him from the other side of a dirty window.

"I like you better this way," he said after a while.

She looked at him while he turned back around to find more junk.

"And I don't think you should cut this Uno guy as much slack as you do," he added.

"Yeah!" Another voice said. "You should tell him how you really feel!"

Abby turned to see the Toiletnator, awake and energetic as ever. "Oh. You're awake," she remarked flatly.

"Hey!" Wally snapped. "This is a private conversation! Butt out!"

The Toiletnator pouted. "I just wanted to be supportive."

"You're a villain!"

The two bickered, but Abby ignored them. Her mind was grinding.

How I really feel?

...

"Oh shove your shit back up your asshole!" Wally screamed.

"Jeez! Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?"

"Do you eat shit with that mouth?" he replied. "Cause I all I hear is-" He raspberried into his face.

"Well!"

"Will you two be quiet?" Abby snapped back. The boys quieted. "Abby's got a headache." She pinched her nose and began walking out the door.

"Wait!" The Toiletnator gasped. "You don't wanna fight me?"

She turned around.

"We already captured you, dumb fuck," Wally said.

But the Toiletnator grinned. "Ah, but without me, how will you get your ship to move again? Hmmm? I've got you there!"

Abby blinked. "Say what now?"

"Well, I knew I couldn't beat you in combat alone so...I shot a really big tractor beam at your ship-"

"Oh no."

"And basically, you guys are stuck here till I beat you." He beamed. "Pretty great, right?! I bet Father would never have thought of that!"

"Oh, no. No..." Abby covered her face with her eyes. "Seriously, Toiletnator?!" She spat at him.

"So? You can move it, can't ya?"

"No, I cannot move it! I wouldn't know how!"

"Why'd you get us a ship you don't know how to fly?!"

Abby rolled her eyes. "I can fly the ship, Wally! And it was your girlfriend who wanted this piece'a junk in the first place!"

"Ha!" The Toiletnator stood tall. "Already the threads of your bonds are starting to unravel. Soon you will all hate each other! Muahahaha! All those years of friendship vanished because of me!"

"Oh, shut up!" Wally hissed. "You're too late for that. The Kids Next Door already beat you to it."

The Toiletnator stopped. "Wait...what do you mean?" It was silent. "You guys are still friends, right?"

Abby's face was dark. The room grew still as neither she nor Wally knew how to answer that question. "This was a mistake," she whispered and began to walk away.

"Numbuh 5?" Toiletnator asked, starting to look concerned. "Is she okay?"

Wally grimaced at him. "Just shut up."

"Wally!" A high-pitched voice echoed through the chamber. "Did you clog the toilet again?"

"No..." Wally glared. "Why'dya assume it was me!"

"Well Abby wouldn't do that!" Kuki exclaimed. "She's a lady."

"Not a lady," she heard her friend growl.

Kuki looked at her with concerned eyes. "Abby? What's-"

"Yes! The final act of my plan is complete! Let's see how long you last stranded out here with no working toilets! Ahahahaha!" The Toiletnator howled from inside his prison. "I'm so evil, right? Only a truly diabolical man would come up with-"

"Shut up!" Abby snapped. "God, just...can we get some peace n' quiet for two seconds around here without somethin' goin' screwy! I'm tired!" She yelled as she stormed out. "I can't solve all the problems all the time!" As she got through the door, she found herself face to face with Hoagie, who had been dragged down there by Kuki. As soon as her eyes met his, she quickly looked away, darting around him before he could say anything.

Kuki went up the stairs to the main bridge, finding Abby focused angrily on the control panel. She tried out many of the buttons, many of which were weapons that shot out into the sky. She wasn't a grumbler, and she didn't often make a habit of talking to herself. However, Kuki could swear that she could hear her cursing under her breath. Eventually, her foot slammed into the metal frame. Again, and again, and again, the muscles in her back and shoulders tensing.

"Do you want some help?" Kuki finally asked.

Abby stopped kicking.

"Maybe a hug?"

"Just go watch the prisoner, Kuki," Abby said. "Abby'll take care of this."

Kuki just stood and watched her for a while. She put on a sunny grin. "You know, when I'm having a bad day, I like to take a nice long bubble bath. Light a few candles, get some nice smelly soap..."

"I'm not having a bad day," Abby said flatly.

There was another pause. "Or sometimes talking about it helps-"

"I don't wanna talk about it," she snipped, her words fast and insistent. "I just wanna get the ship movin' so we can find Nigel and do what we came out here to do."

"Wally says you haven't slept or eaten at all-"

Abby spun around. "What does it matter, Kuki? You n' your boyfriend always buttin' into other people's business...You know what I want? I just want one day, hm? Just one where nothin' happens. Just a day of nothing. That's what I want. Nobody gets attacked or screwed over or lied to..." Kuki noticed Abby turn her body from her again. "A day where I don't fuck everything up," she spoke, barely audible.

"Abby-"

"I don't know," she said sternly. "Any answers you want, anything you wanna hear, I don't know, okay? I ain't got the foggiest clue. So please just stop asking." She exhaled. "Please."

Kuki walked up, placing her hand gently on Abby's back. The tension released slightly.

"Wait!" The Toiletnator gasped. "You guys don't remember me?"

"Yeah, we got our memories wiped," Wally said, leaning on the side of the wall. Hoagie sat next to him in the dark, unwilling to move around in such a cluttered area. "Apparently we weren't cool enough to join the super awesome Teens Next Door..." he mocked.

"That's crazy!" the villain went to the front of his cell. "You guys were the best!"

"That's what people keep sayin'!" Wally shook his head. "It don't make no sense. This whole thing stinks of bureaucracy!"

"Or maybe it was easier to keep us at a distance," Hoagie's voice, softer than usual, came in.

"Hey! Yeah!" The Toiletnator exclaimed. "You're like a super genius! They had to let you through!"

Hoagie's head sank. "I'm not a genius."

Wally kicked the forcefield. "Ugh. I can't believe you're my arch nemesis! It's so...embarrassing!"

"Hey!" The Toiletnator whined. "Just what's so embarrassing about having me as a nemesis? Huh?"

"Try everything!" Wally walked to face him. "Look at you! You're a bloody toilet!"

"Well, I don't judge you on your lifestyle, do I?"

"You should! You're a villain! You should judge us for everything! You ain't supposed'ta ask how my friends are doing or say 'oooh I'm soooo sorry'. You should be plannin' to destroy humanity or somethin!" He slapped his palm into his face. "When I first heard I uset'a be a secret agent I was so excited! Gadgets, guns, pretty girls like in James Bond. But it's mostly just been a bunch'a crabby Adults in costumes! I ain't even fired a real weapon yet! It's all just candy and paintball and ice cream. And you!"

The Toiletnator swallowed. "Me?"

"You're the worst of all! I can't believe I let my brother get kidnapped by a bunch'a loser fucks like you!"

Hoagie gripped his feet. "Wally."

The villain's lips quivered. "But...I'm your nemesis..."

"Nemesis? You ain't even a real villain! You're a joke! My nemesis ain't some piss-ant, scrawny, middle-aged dork with a fuckin' toilet bowl on his head!"

"Wally!"

He spun to look at his friend. "What! It's the truth, ain't it! Most danger we've been in was yesterday, and that was because you two just had to go on that stupid mission and get yourselves almost bloody killed!" He turned back to the Toiletnator. "You're just a sad, pathetic, lame excuse for a bad guy! You're not my nemesis...you're just a big ol' stinky pile of...doo-doo pie!"

The Toiletnator's eyes grew wide and shiny, tears appearing them by the bucket load. "You...don't think...I'm cool?" he sniffled.

Hoagie heard this, rolling his eyes. "Oh, great. Now you've done it."

"What!" Wally exclaimed defensively.

"You think...I'm...Lame?!"

The Toiletnator was breathing heavily with each breath.

"No..." Hoagie tried to put on an easing smile. "Of course no-"

"YES!" Wally interrupted. "Finally, you get it!"

Tears streamed down the Toiletnator's face, absorbing into his toilet paper headwear. They were coming down like a waterfall, tearing the dampened paper.

"Oh, come on!" Wally groaned. "You're cryin'?!"

Hoagie stood up. "You hurt his feelings!"

"I hurt his feelings? Gilligan, lemmie tell you something. You may not have noticed...seein' as you're blind, but he is a bloody villain in a toilet costume!"

"Yes, Wally, I saw the toilet costume." He crossed his arms. "That's not the point."

"I ain't gonna be intimidated by some guy whose fashion advice came from the loo!"

"Well, you could be a little less vocal about it."

"Why? What's he gonna do?" He gestured to the Toiletnator, who had stopped crying and was now scrunching his eyes and hands tightly, in full concentration. "Oh gross. He's gonna take a shit!"

"What?!" Hoagie backed away.

There was a rumbling above them.

Hoagie turned pale. "Wh-what was that?"

The Toiletnator's concentration had not broken. "Lame you say..." He snarled. "And to think I was going to go easy on you! To think I actually felt bad for you! You're all a bunch of big fat jerks! Well I can be a jerk too." His eyes grew red. "I'm going to flush you!"

"That does not sound good," Hoagie remarked.

The rumbling got louder. Wally looked down and saw a puddle of water start to appear by his foot. "Ugh! What the-"

Rapid footsteps were heard coming down the stairs as the door flew open. Abby was there, Kuki right behind. Abby's face was livid. "What the hell did you do?!"

"I didn't do anything! He took a shit in the stall!" He complained, pointing to the Toiletnator.

Hoagie quivered. "I don't think that's what he was doing..."

"The pipes on the ship're all broken!" Abby explained. "The whole thing is flooding!"

"I told you you shouldn't've provoked him!" Hoagie snapped.

"Well, she never said he had superpowers!"

"That's right! I control the down winds and the pipes. Wherever there is a sink clogged, or a toilet unflushed, I, the Toiletnator, am there!" The Toiletnator said. "And if you care about your precious ship, you'll let me out of this cell right now!"

"Ha!" Wally scoffed cockily. "Like they would fall for a trick like that." But as soon as he said that, he felt a firm hand wrap around his arm.

"I got a better idea," Abby said. Taking down the forcefield for just a moment, she tossed Wally in with the Toiletnator, locking him inside.

"Hey!"

"There," she said. "You two talk it out."

The Toiletnator grinned wildly. "Oh, yes."

"Abby!" Wally pounded on the wall of the forcefield. "You can't be serious! Lemmie outta here! Don't leave me in here with this nutcase!"

"Now, you. Fix my ship," she said looking at the Toiletnator, who had calmed now. "I ain't payin for this idiot's crimes."

He blushed, scratching the back of his head. "Yeah, well, see...about that. I broke all the pipes and I kinda...can't put them back together. But at least you guys don't have to worry about running out of toilet paper!"

More water started to rise in the room.

Hoagie backed up against the wall, his breath getting shorter. "I kinda thought I wouldn't have to worry about drowning today. Silly, silly me."

"Get higher!" Abby shouted. She grabbed Hoagie by the arm and rushed him up the stairs. Kuki followed.

"Hey!" Wally called. "You can't leave me down here! You guys! Come back..." His lip stuck out. "You know how I feel about the water..."

"Abigail..."

She wasn't responding.

"Where are we going?"

She finally stopped, still holding tightly to Hoagie's arm. She let go for a brief moment as he heard the squeak of a metal door opening up below. Without a word, she pushed him towards the hole, water gushing from the floor into it. She made sure he found the ladder and went with him below. He didn't bother to speak at this point, knowing now that she often went on autopilot during high-stress situations. When they touched the metal floor, he knew where they were going.

"In here," She opened one of the pod doors, guiding him inside.

He turned around, not entirely sure where she was in space. "Abby-"

A warm hand cupped around his cheek. "You'll be fine," Abby said, reassuring herself just as much as him.

"Wait-"

The pod door shut. He rested his head on the glass window.

Wally paced back and forth, not even wanting to look at his new cellmate. What was Abby thinking leaving him down here? What if something happened and the water got in? She knew he couldn't swim...didn't she?

"Great! This is just great! Look at this mess!"

"Well don't look at me!" The Toiletnator stuck his nose up. "If you had just come quietly none of this would have happened!"

"Pfft. Right. Like I'm gonna surrender to you..." Wally grumbled.

The Toiletnator pouted. "Why are you so mean?"

The teenager scoffed. "Why am I- Maybe because you bloody Adults keep makin' life shitty for the rest of us! Geez! How'd you even find us anyway?"

The Toiletnator smiled. "A Toilet Knight never reveals his secrets!"

Wally rolled his eyes. "Jesus Christ." He leaned on the edge of the cell, pulling out a cigarette, the last one he had. He lit it and puffed. "So. You got me here. How you wanna settle this?"

The Toiletnator blinked at him with wide, innocent eyes. "Settle what?"

"You say we got some rivalry or somethin'. Let's just fight and get it over with so I can get out and help Kuki and the others."

The Toiletnator smirked. "Oooh. Is she your girlfriend?" he asked, emphasizing 'girlfriend' in a teasing tone.

Wally's eyes narrowed. "Yes."

"Oh."

There was a long pause.

"That's nice."

"You wanna fight or not?"

There was another pause.

"Well?"

The Toiletnator looked down, rubbing his neck with a sheepish smile. "The thing is I got this twinge in my back from moving all those pipes. Not to mention this big knot in the side of my neck. My therapist says it's from stress-"

"Ugh! Stop! Never mind!"

Wally turned to scan the wall, the water was already building up half-way. There were weapons on the other side. If he could find a way to bust out of here...he frowned.

But then he'd have to swim.

His frown turned to a scowl. He looked at the Toiletnator who was scratching his nose and looking around like absolutely nothing was wrong. Stupid idiot, he thought. Stupid idiot with stupid powers...

But at least you guys don't have to worry about running out of toilet paper.

Wally's eyes brightened with an idea.

"Good thing you don't wanna fight me, Toilet Bowl," he said with a sneer. "Cause I'd clean the floor with you."

The Toiletnator pouted. "Hey! I can fight! It's just my sciatica..."

Wally scoffed. "Please! You couldn't even take on my Nan n' she's eighty years old." Crossing his arms, he turned to his foe. "Toilets. Some great super power."

The Toiletnator's face was heating up. "I'll have you know I was entrusted with these powers by the Almighty Protector of the Potty to be a Holy Knight for-"

Wally pretended to yawn. "Yeah, yeah. Tell someone who cares."

"In all my years!" He gasped. "I have never met a more selfish, bratty person than you! You think your parents are proud of you, sitting around smoking that stuff! Letting your life waste away! You call me a loser! At least I care about something! You think you can just breeze through life on handouts but you're gonna wake up one day and have nothing! Then we'll see who the real loser is!"

Wally flinched, but only for a second. "No you."

"You're a loser!"

"No you."

"AGH!" The Adult grabbed his head. "I'm gonna teach you a lesson you brat!"

"Go ahead and try-" But before Wally could finish his sentence, the Toiletnator tackled him to the ground.

"Ugh!" he tried to push him off. "Get off!"

"Not until you take back what you said about me being lame!"

Crash! The water slapped against the forcefield as it started to spark. Just a bit more...

"I wish it was Father that found us..." Wally shouted, putting the nail in the coffin. "Now there's a villain worthy of respect."

"Only cause he's a big jerk who takes credit for all the villain's hard work!"

Wally could feel his back getting wet.

"I'd take any villain over you!"

"Really? Well let's see how you like this!" With one last scream the forcefield protecting them broke, the water gushing in. "Uh-oh." Wally quickly grabbed the toilet paper and launched a stream of it as high as he could, dodging the water before it crashed over them. He swung on it like a vine over the water to the stairs.

"Ha! You lose, asshole!" he shouted. However, the Toiletnator slowly rose out of the water. It swirled around him like a whirlpool. His eyes were blood red, black circles beneath. "Ah crud," Wally whispered, not having expected that.

"Numbuh 4!" The Villain cried out.

Wally darted out of the room as fast as he could as it continued to fill with water.

"Crud!"

Abby emerged from the water, lifting a massive metal pipe on her back. It took nearly all of her strength to get it connected to the other pipe that was gushing water into the engine room. The pipes connected as she panted.

"Okay. Wrench'm shut..." she huffed at Kuki who was sitting up above, wrench in hand.

She couldn't hide her pink cheeks. "You're so hot, Abby..."

"Appreciated! Not the time!" she shouted back.

Kuki agreed and after a couple of failed attempts managed to reattach the pipes. Even if they were a little crooked now, the water was floating through and no longer spilling onto the floor.

Abby climbed up to where she was, her sweat washed away from the water. She wrung out her shirt and hair, catching her breath.

"I'm worried about Wally," Kuki finally said. "Will he be okay down there?"

Abby wiped her brow. "He'll be safest down there long as he don't do nothin' stupid." She sighed. "Right now our biggest concern is keepin' the water outta the engine. If we can do that, we might make it outta here alive."

"Maybe we should escape in one of those pods?"

"A pod can't handle the pressure of a S.L.I.N.G.S.H.O.T. We'd have to find another ship."

"Again?"

Abby nodded.

Kuki flung her head backwards making a loud grunting sound.

"If I could get down to the pods we could sneak onto the Toiletnator's ship. If he gets away we're gonna have a real problem." She shook her head. "Damn I should'a thought of that before!"

Kuki sat back up. "Well, at least the engine is safe now."

Crack. A heavy thud shook the two. Then another, and another. More pipes were busting open. Abby looked at them reaction-less while Kuki's mouth hung agape.

"Where is all this water coming from?! We're not even connected to the ground!"

"The hell should I know? Abby ain't no magic expert."

Kuki sighed. "We're screwed."

Suddenly, she heard a crash. A white stream flew across the room. A figure darted past, grabbing the side of a pipe. The water swirled around in a whirlpool as a dark shadow entered. The only thing visible was its glowing red eyes. Kuki looked to see her boyfriend climbing up the pipe they had just fixed, slapping his butt in the face of the dark figure.

"C'mon! You call that wipin' my ass?" he jeered.

Another stream of white ran past him, wrapping around the pipe. He jumped to another.

"Missed a spot!" He shouted again, wiggling. The process repeated. The Toiletnator almost levitated into the room, the water moving around him. He looked at the others. "The pipes! Hurry!"

Abby knew immediately then what he was doing and dove into the water. "Kuki! Help me!" They pushed the pipe to the point where it was connected. Wally moved over that direction, continuing to tease the Toiletnator. Sure enough, he fired his paper at him. Wally dodged with just enough time that the paper wrapped around the pipe, sealing the leak.

Kuki grinned. "Wow! That is extra-extra strength!"

They repeated the process until the other pipes were sealed. The Toiletnator screamed in rage, charging towards Wally with his giant plunger. Wally blocked it with a crowbar he had found lying around in another room. The two fought moving back and forth, Wally blocking the villain's advances with ease. He found himself smiling. He didn't even have to think about the moves, they simply came naturally. It was as though they were a part of him.

"Take. It. Back!" The Toiletnator yelled.

"Take it in the butthole!" Wally sassed.

The Toiletnator's hands raised, a flood of water shooting out from behind him.

"Oh fuck..." he whispered. "Quick! Get to high groun-"

Slash! The wave crashed into the room, flooding the engine completely. The water continued to pour in, Kuki and Abby now barely hanging on. Kuki cried out to her boyfriend, but by the time she was able to see around her, she could no longer see him. Her heart filled with fear.

"Wally!" She looked around frantically. "Do you see him? Wally!"

"Kuki! The engine!" Abby shouted. "If we don't move now we'll be stuck here!" She crawled over and reached out her hand. "We gotta swim for it."

Kuki took it, tears in her eyes as they both let go of the pipe together, crashing into the still-raging water.

Wally gasped for air, crawling on all-fours onto the solid floor. He had been thrust under the water, holding his breath for dear life. He had managed to flail his way to the surface somehow. He noticed a piece of toilet-paper dangling from a pipe. As he started to climb it, the Toiletnator was not far behind. The water was beginning to fill the middle of the ship. He hiked himself up and up, facing the whirlpool that was encircling below him.

"What's the matter, Numbuh 4? Don't have a paddle?"

Wally looked, but couldn't find a way out.

The Toiletnator grinned. "If only Father could see me now! They all laughed at me! Said a toilet-themed villain was stoopid! Put me on toilet duty! Well who's stoopid now!"

"You're a bloody lunatic!"

"Oh, am I? Numbuh 4?" He mocked. "Am I a Loon? Am I craaazy?" He took a step forward. "Admit it! You find me intimidating!"

"No way!" He shook his head. "You're lame! Lame! Lame! Lame!"

The Toiletnator aimed his toilet paper rolls at Wally, who flinched. However, looking down he realized they were empty. "Aw, rats!"

"Ha!" Wally grinned. "How're you gonna beat me now without your fancy-shmancy toilet paper...I cannot believe I just said that out loud." His smile immediately disappeared as he hung his head in embarrassment.

"Oh, you think I'm out?" The villain taunted. "You should always remember the rules of bathroom etiquette. Rule number one—"

"Uh..." Wally shrugged. "Always wash your hands?"

"Ooh! That's a good one!" But he shook his head. "But no. Rule number one:" He lowered his head so it faced Wally like a cannon. "Always have an extra roll of toilet paper!" The wrappings from around his head came undone, tackling Wally in its web. The teenager hung upside down, struggling to get out of the cocoon. Now the Toiletnator only had a brown toilet paper roll around his face, which made him look even more ridiculous.

Wally wriggled. "What the fuck is this stuff made of?"

"Rule number two!" He shouted as he rose up to Wally's level with his powers. "Don't forget to flush!"

The rumbling began again as the water swirled faster and faster around the room.

"Rule number three is always wash your hands!" he grinned.

"Wait! Stop! My friends are down there!" Wally was now starting to feel a tinge of panic. "Kuki!"

"I know! Isn't it great?" The Toiletnator grinned so wide that it cracked his mask. "I was going to give you over to Father, but then I realized that he never let me do anything fun! Why should I be his attendant! I'm the one who does all the dirty work!"

"Does everything you say gotta be a fucking pun?!"

"Numbuh 4. A rotten child who grew up to be a rotten teen." He puffed up his chest. "If anyone's gonna take down Sector V it's gonna be me! Lou Pottingsworth III! Air to the Pottingsworth family fortune!"

"Seriously how can you say shit like that and kill my friends at the same time! How am I even supposed to react to this?"

"Kill them?" The light in the Toiletnator's eyes returned for a moment. "Oh no. I don't want to kill them. That would just be mean."

"Oh my god! You are the actual worst villain ever!" He squirmed.

"No one can save you now Numbuh 4 of the Kids Next Door!"

Wally noticed the water start to deplete.

He knew what he had to do.

He knew...but he couldn't.

He just couldn't.

"Urine trouble now!"

"Shut up!" Wally screamed. "If you're gonna destroy me at least spare me your lame-ass jokes!"

"Once I've defeated you, maybe I'll open up a restaurant. A toilet-themed restaurant! Yeah! Restaurants are a great business investment! The villain industry is oversaturated these days anyway, what with Father getting rid of the Kids Next Door and all..."

"You dumb fuck! Father didn't get rid of the Kids Next Door! That bastard's talkin' shit and you just blindly believe it!" Wally growled. "I always thought bein' a revolutionary would be cool, but it's not! It fucking sucks! I want my life back!"

"Jeez. Whiny, much?"

"Your leader took my family!" His voice cracked a bit, but he swallowed. "He took my friends! And you think this is just some chance for you to show off! Fuck you!" he yelled. "You're right. I was wrong about something...you're just as evil as the rest of them."

"He took your family?"

"Like you care!" He snapped back. "You let him steal all those kids! I bet you don't even have a family!"

The Toiletnator shook his head. "But I do have a family." He pulled off his mask revealing a blonde-haired, blue eyed man. "I am your family!"

Wally's eyes widened as he looked at the face staring back at him. He struggled to find the words, thoughts, anything to explain what he was seeing. Finally, he managed to sputter out: "D-D-Dad?"

The Toiletnator stopped. "Dad?" He looked around. "Who's Dad?"

Wally's jaw was slacked open, his mind cracking like the villain's mask. "No way. You can't be...What kind of soapy bullshit is this?!" Although, if he thought about it, were his Dad to become a villain it would be something lame like a Toilet-nator. But still. No. No... "Dad..." He could feel tears coming in. "Why?"

The Toiletnator was dumbfounded before realizing. "Oh. No no no no no. I'm not your Dad!" He cleared his throat. "Numbuh 4...I am...your...Uncle!"

"My uncle?" Wally still couldn't process.

"Surprise!" The Toiletnator announced. "I was saving that part for a dramatic moment! Since you didn't remember me, I thought hey! I bet it'll be really funny! And I was right! Did you see your face?!"

"Y-you're my Uncle? How?! I ain't never seen you before in my life!"

"Well of course not, Silly Billy! Your Dad, Sid Beatles, is my long-lost twin brother!"

Wally's face grew cold. "Wait...but that means...I'm related...to..." He stared into the goofy smile of his 'nemesis.' "No...no!" With an inhale, he screamed at the top of his lungs.

"No!"

Kuki's ears perked up. "Wally! Abby, did you hear that? I think that was Wally!"

Abby wasn't paying attention. "If we could just get to the control room we could probably lower the gate enough to drain the water."

"He sounded like he was in trouble."

"But who knows if it sustained function through the damage..." She dove back into the water. "If I could get below I could pry it open from the inside, but I can't even get the door open."

Kuki nodded. "If the walkie talkie thingy worked we could communicate with Hoagie in the pod like we did last time. Maybe he could find a way out."

"He can't see ten inches past his own face, I doubt he could locate the drain." She grit her teeth. "That's why Abby's gotta get down there and get it before the oxygen depletes."

"How long before that happens?"

"I dunno. Twenty-four...twelve hours? We'll be crushed by then."

The water around them swirled, starting to move again. This time it was moving downward. A magnetic pull drew objects into the center of the room. Abby grabbed onto Kuki's wrist who helped her climb onto the pipe before they were swept away.

"The water's going down!"

"We're being flushed!"

"What?" Kuki called over the sound of gushing water.

"I said we're being flushed!"

"I know! I do think this was all a little rushed!"

"No not-" Abby gave up. "Just hold on!"

Wally looked down below, the water getting more and more shallow as the hole in the ship sucked it down like a drain. Would Kuki make it? Would their ship even survive this? He sighed, looking at the Toiletnator's maniacal face.

"Okay! Alright! You win!"

The rushing stopped. "Hm?"

"I..." Wally felt as though he were swallowing lima beans. "I was...wrong."

His eyes grew wide.

"You almost killed me and my friends. You beat us fair and square. You're not a lame villain..." the punk sputtered. "Y-yo-you're..." He squinted his face. "You're...c-c-c-..."

"Yes?" He blinked with his large lashes.

Wally hung his head. "You're cool."

The Toiletnator gasped. "Oh, do you really think so?!"

Wally rolled his eyes. "Yeah. I guess." He was met with a long, uncomfortable embrace.

"That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me!" he squealed. "Numbuh 4 thinks I'm cool! None of the villains have ever said that to me! Hey! Am I cooler than Father?"

"Don't push it."

The Toiletnator looked around, noticing the disaster he had caused. "Oh my. This is a real mess, huh?" He scratched the back of his head. "Guess I got a little carried away there." He chortled awkwardly.

"You think?" Wally squirmed. "Now get me down from here!"

"Oh! Sorry!" The Toiletnator thought for a moment. "Here we go! Let's try this..." He squeezed his butt as hard as he could, clenching his face and his hands. Wally closed his eyes in disgust, thinking he was going to poop for real this time, but instead the water drained out of the ship, slowly and smoothly. The toilet paper ripped as Wally crashed towards the ground with a thud. "Ooops!" The Toiletnator flinched. "My bad!"

Wally just glared at him.

As the water went down, Kuki wasn't entirely sure what happened, but she knew they had to act while it was still calm. Abby opened the hatch to the launch-pad and went down the stairs, Kuki following. The water had drained down below as well. Kuki was beyond asking why they weren't in zero-gravity at this point. She knew nothing was going to make logical sense from now on. They got to the pod where Hoagie was, opening it to see if he had any trouble. They found him sitting on the ground, his cheek buried in his palm. Little puffs of air were blowing in and out his mouth and nose, his eyes completely closed.

"Hoagie!" Kuki shouted.

He shot upright. "Hm? What?"

Her mouth hung open. "Did you fall asleep?" she asked in disbelief.

"Pfft...no..." He tried to deny it. Kuki continued to stare at him. He read her silence. "Sorta."

Abby stepped forward, yanking him out of the pod. "Watch him," she told Kuki.

Hoagie's brows scrunched. "There's a nicer way to say that."

"Don't do anything," she said to him directly. "Kuki, open the hatch."

"Roger Dodger!" she said skipping over to the manual release.

It wasn't long before the ship began to drift again, the tractor beam finally turned off. Abby instructed everyone off of the ship as they piled into the Toiletnator's smaller one, taking everything that they could with them. They managed to escape with some rations, the recommissioning module, a few weapons and scraps, a small bag of their winnings from the paintball game, and their personal belongings. They all watched from the window as the ship imploded.

"Oh wow. I really soiled your guys' carpet, didn't I?" The Toiletnator said. He was met with angered looks.

"That's the second ship we've lost..." Kuki said.

"So!" The Toiletnator smiled. "What now, new friends?"

Sector V looked at each other, then back at him.

"Oh, come on!" The Toiletnator whined as Abby shut him behind the prison bars on his own ship. His arms were tied to his waist with rope. "Do I really have to stay down here?"

"You blow up my ship'n think Imma just let you go?" Abby bit back.

"I promise I'll be good! Say, I'm even thinking about giving up evil for good this time! I can join your team!" He puffed up his chest. "I can be Numbuh 6!"

"We already have a Numbuh 6."

"Oh. What about-"

"No." She turned to walk out. "You wait there till we figure out what to do with you."

"Wait! N-Numbuh 5!" he called. "What if I have to go to the bathroom?"

"Bitch you are the bathroom!"

"Oh! I never thought about that..." He laughed out of his nose as Abby rolled her eyes, walking up the stairs.

Abby collapsed on the floor, thinking her body was going to give out. She stared at the ceiling, her mind in a haze.

"The Toiletnator..." she spoke in a trance. "My ship's engine...was destroyed...by the Toiletnator." Her arms flopped to the side. "Anything else?!" she screamed at the ceiling. The others gathered around her.

Kuki grabbed Hoagie by the arm. "We're gonna go check out the new ship."

"But I can't see-"

"Let's go, Hoagie..." Kuki dragged him out of the room.

Wally peered down. "You comin'?"

Abby's arms fell over her head. "Just let Abby lie here for a while..." Wally nodded. He didn't leave right away, but instead watched her breathe. "I am on beach," she mumbled to herself. "It's a warm, sunny day. There's a crab. Hi, crab. The water's calm. I'm calm. I did not lose to the Toiletnator. I did not lose to the Toiletnator..."

"Well, he is my nemesis, so..." Wally said.

Abby lifted her arm, sharply attacking him with her gaze. Then she lowered it back down.

"I am alone on a beach..."

Abby made her way down the hall, her attempts to calm her mind not working as well as she had hoped. Her feet stopped as a figure in a light grey jumpsuit came into view. He hadn't noticed her yet. Good. There was still enough time to turn around and...

Abby froze.

How long was she going to have to keep doing this? How long before she could look him in the eye again? A week ago, she was physically barred from direct contact with him. And now that she had all the time in the world, absolutely no one holding her back, she was avoiding him. She told herself it was for his sake, to let him come to her, but that wasn't true. Her mind went back to that moment in the school bathroom stall, his frustration and anger. Their fights never made him reach that point, no matter how angry he got. There was still caring and understanding along with the frustration and pain. But now he knew the truth. He had a face to direct those years of torture to. It was so easy back then, she thought. She could hide behind a wall and act like she was the hero. She could pretend she didn't care what he thought of her as long as he was still there to have thoughts. Back then it didn't matter. It still didn't matter, but she couldn't deny it anymore. She did care. All this time she had been concerned with her own pain, her own sacrifice. And somewhere along the way, she had become proud.

To save him, she thought. Always hurting him to save him.

She had used that excuse for years.

But now there was nothing between them,

and still there was nothing between them.

And it was her fault.

Hoagie leaned on the railing, his eyes still unable to focus. Abby noticed him daze off. He didn't do anything to acknowledge the person approaching him tentatively.

"Y-yo," Abby said.

"Yo," he said back, casually.

"That was quite the, uh, adventure."

He gave a light smile. "I wish I could've seen it."

"Oh, well," Abby brushed her hair back. "Let's just say our entire mission went...ahem...down the toilet."

Hoagie made an amused puff. "I'm sure you're flushed with embarrassment."

Abby smiled. "A little. But I gotta hand it to him. He was on a roll."

That one got Hoagie to laugh out loud.

Quiet settled back into the isle.

"Y-you can use that one, if you want," Abby said. "You can consider it an apology...or...a peace offering. A parley. I dunno..." Her smile faded as the anxiety took over. "Please talk to me."

He exhaled. "Abigail..."

"I just wanna get past this. I know you must have a lot of feelings...and you might never..." she fought her way through her sentences. "You might never wanna talk again and I understand if you don't, but I can't deal with the not knowin' so if that's the case please just tell me now."

Silence.

"Right. I get it-"

"Sorry, I just..." Hoagie interrupted her. "I wasn't expecting any of that."

She sighed. "You must think I'm selfish-"

"I don't think you're selfish."

"I completely ruined your life. There's no way to forgive someone for that."

"Abigail, stop. I'm not mad at you."

There was a long pause. Abby tried to collect herself. "You're not-"

"Why would I be mad at you?" he asked. "I'm the one who was wrong."

Abby's voice was quiet, as though she aged down about three years. "No, but, that ain't true. I destroyed your life's work. I...I ruined your future-"

"That's what you think?" He replied in genuine shock. "I wouldn't even have a future if it wasn't for you." He blushed, looking away for a moment in his own embarrassment. "And I guess...I feel pretty awful about what I said. I was obviously wrong and I'm sorry." He sighed. "Even if I wasn't wrong, I still shouldn't have lashed out, so I'm sorry for that too." His body arched over the railing.

"But, I-"

"Abby, listen," he said. "My life is a mess, but none of it is your fault. I'm sorry if I made you think that, even for a second. I never want you to feel that way. Ever." There was a sternness in his voice, but not directed at her.

Her muscles relaxed, as though a warm energy were running through them. She leaned with her back against the rails, gripping them. "You weren't wrong about everything," she finally said. "What you said about me, the recommissionin' module, this mission, that was all true." Her shoulders lifted as she tried to hide in them. "I didn't want a second chance, I wanted a time machine. I thought if I could replicate the best part of my life then..." But her voice grew solemn as her shoulders sank. "But time only moves forward and there ain't nothin' I can do about that. I never even thought about your feelings. I wanted to ignore what happened and pick up where I left off instead of rebuilding what was broken. And that wasn't fair." She hugged herself. "I'm sorry, Hoagie."

More silence.

Then...

"I know people don't like me," he said, somewhat out of nowhere. "You gotta be pretty dense not to pick up on stuff like that. I've probably always known it. No matter what I do I always drive people away. People don't like needy people. I tried to change. I tried not to bother people. I tried to be un-intrusive and cool and jaded and sarcastic...whatever I could do to not be that guy. I wanted to bury his goofy smile and stupid jokes deep into the ground and become someone else. Anyone else. Funny, though. No matter what I did, I couldn't escape him. He was always the one they remembered." He ran his hands through his own hair, not wanting to berate himself too badly in front of her. "You didn't have to do it," he said. "Any of it. Nobody would have given a shit if you hadn't."

"That's not true-"

"No, it's okay. It is what it is."

"Hoagie."

"Why?" he asked, slightly more assertive. Abby didn't say anything. He shook his head. "I didn't get it. It didn't make sense. I spent so long trying to get rid of that kid, and here you were trying to bring him back. And I was pissed, cause I thought maybe I had made some huge mistake. I tried so hard to change, but maybe I was only making myself more unlikable. That idea made me sick. So, I got mad. I'm still mad. Not at you. Just at everything. It's a shitty deal on both ends. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about it."

"If I could'a found a way to keep my job and my friends, I would've." Abby admitted, regaining the cool of her demeanor.

"I know."

"But that kind of compromise...it just don't exist. I couldn't be close to my team and I couldn't stay away. Guess Abby just did what she had to do to sleep at night." Her arms loosened from around her. "That's what I said, anyway. The truth is...the Kids Next Door was everything to me. It was something I'd always known. It was all I had left to believe in. I didn't know who I'd be without it. I was terrified that if I stepped outta line or made a mistake I would lose everything. Those memories, the Kids Next Door...my whole reason for living. I couldn't give it up even though it meant hurting people. People I..." She felt a lump in her throat. "Anyway..."

"That's the thing though," Hoagie finally responded. "You can't have just one reason for living. Because one day, that thing could disappear and then you'd have nothing. And when you have nothing, you also disappear."

There was a pause. "What're yours?"

Hoagie's ears perked. "Hm?"

"Reasons for living."

Hoagie chuckled, but there was a heaviness to it. He scratched the back of his neck. "I'm not the one to ask."

Abby leaned back further. "I always believed that childhood was the best part of life, and after that it was just one long downward spiral. I thought maybe I could make it worthwhile by making the world better for kids. I did everything I could to get the job I wanted, to stop myself from becoming an Adult who just accepted the world the way it was. But even after all that, I still wake up in the morning some days and think, what's the point? What's the point of movin' forward if the best years of my life are already behind me?"

Hoagie turned her direction. "Who says they have to be?"

She smiled, sullenly. "Right. Forgot who I was talkin' to." She pushed herself up off the rail, stretching her arms out and up. "Whew. Abby's exhausted. It's been a long trip. Gonna hit the sack."

"Abigail." Hoagie's voice had an insistence that had been absent throughout the rest of the conversation. It was incredulous, somewhat heartbroken.

"You should at least try'n get some sleep before tomorrow," she said as she started to step away from him. "We still got a long way to go."

"Hold on." Hoagie's hand managed to grab hold of her wrist, stopping her before she was able to walk off. She stopped, not facing him. "You don't think that's true, do you?"

Abby inhaled deeply. "Hoagie..."

"You're eighteen," he continued. "You seriously don't think life is going to get any better? Even a little bit?" No response. "Come on. That's insane."

But Abby was desolate. "That's just the way it is."

"What?!" His voice was shrill, causing Abby to flinch. "Who the hell told you that?"

"You wouldn't understand-"

"You don't think your life is worth living? You?" But he wasn't given an answer. "That's bullshit! How could you even think that? People like you shouldn't think that way!"

"People like me?" She replied, her voice soft. She hung there, still feeling the tug of his hand on her wrist. She finally looked back at him. "As opposed to, what? People like you?" She felt his fingers twitch, knowing she had stricken a chord with him.

His grip tightened for a moment, then released altogether. "That's not..." he trembled. "I didn't-"

But Abby snatched back his arm, pulling up the long grey sleeve. Hoagie instinctively backed away from her, yanking the cloth back over his exposed skin. His face was florid, sweat accumulating all over his forehead and neck. He held his arm as tightly as he could, as close as he could, as far away from her as he could. She stared at him, not reacting.

"Sorry. That was uncalled for." she said practically emotionless. "I noticed a while ago. I'm not an idiot."

He tried to speak, struggling to even get through the first syllable.

"It's okay," she said. "You don't have to tell me." Her hand rested back on the railing, her eyes going back down to Hoagie's feet. She had spent the last six years or so looking at his feet. It had become a habit. She listened as he tried and failed to start the conversation over and over again, still unable to say even one word. An excuse. An apology. A denial. A joke. Eventually he stopped and just hung his head in shame. Abby looked up at him, watching as he agonized and held back tears of humiliation. Without a word, she walked toward him.

He smiled out of reflex. "I'm sor-"

Four fingers landed over his mouth. His forced grin relaxed.

"I've made a lotta choices," she finally said. "Not good ones. Definitely not smart ones. But...they were mine." Her own eyes locked onto his, her fingers falling from his lips. She brushed his hair behind his ear. "Even if it amounts to nothing in the end, even if everything I did was wrong, I still..."

Her hand stopped abruptly.

Her soft, tender voice got heavier. "But none'a that matters, does it?" Her eyes shifted down, her fingers crumpling. Her hand lowered as she walked past the stunned boy.

He tried to call after her, but nothing came out.

"Anyway, I'm on your team now," she finally said. "I dunno if that makes a difference, but I hope it does."

As the warmth from her body disappeared, Hoagie shriveled a bit. He didn't cry. He didn't speak. He pulled on his sleeve again, collapsing onto the railing.

Fuck.

END TRANSMISSION

IMPORTANT TRIGGER WARNING: Physical violence, abuse. Depression/Self-Harm.

NEXT CHAPTER:

Operation: G.U.I.D.E. (part 1)

Go

Uncover

Incredible

Daring

Experiences

Chapter summary: Finally close to arriving at their destination, the group and their newest tag-along are ready for a much needed rest on a planet of Teenagers. If they can get in with an grown Adult, that is.