Chapter summary: In a stroke of luck, the Teens enjoy their fortune and party like the world is ending. Which, it is.
CONTENT WARNING: Underage alcohol/drug use and mild sexual content
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Code: [RESTRICTED]
Operation: G.U.I.D.E. (Part Two)
Go
Uncover
Incredible
Daring
Experiences
Written by OfficiallyWrong with properties owned by Tom Warburton
And Cartoon Network
RESUMING TRANSMISSION...
Episode 15
Abby turned over, feeling the brim of her hat on her chin. Muffled voices surrounded her. One of those voices was saying her name. She didn't want to get up. When was the last time she actually slept? Perhaps if she lay there quietly, all of her troubles would just pass her by. Nigel, the planet, her failures...
"Wally don't—"
"I'm just gonna see if she's really asleep."
"If she's asleep, just let her rest. She needs it."
"We can't leave her here."
Abby groaned in her head. It was clearly too late to rest.
She opened her eyes, visioning the red cloth that masked her. She tipped the hat up, a stream of light shining into her face. It was an artificial light. Annoyed, she slammed it back down.
"Abby?"
She grumbled.
She blinked the glare away as the fuzzy image came into view, as though her mind was a camera lens moving into a rack focus. A boy looked down at her, grinning. She couldn't see his eyes. A wash of light was covering them.
"You know, I'm surprised you sleep so well in the dark like this," the voice said. "I always thought you were a light sleeper—"
Abby's hand reached over and grabbed his mouth. "Numbuh 2, I swear if you don't shut up right now I'll knock you out so hard you'll need smellin' salts to wake you up." Squeezing his cheeks together, she sat up glaring at him. Her eyes were still glazed over.
"Whadduya know?" He muffled through her hand. "It worked."
Abby blinked herself awake as the image sharpened. She quickly removed her hand from his face. "Oops."
He wasn't listening. "Sorry to wake you, Abigail. But we sort of have a situation and we didn't wanna leave you in the store."
But Abby just kept staring at him. She blinked and rubbed her eyes, but her mind wasn't playing a trick on her. "Goggles," she finally said.
Hoagie tilted his head.
"You got goggles."
"Y-yeah. You know...for the bike."
"Oh. Sure. Right. For the bike." It took a while to register. "The bike?!"
"Abby look!" Kuki ran up to her, handing the bag of crystals over. "We're rich! We can buy anything we need!"
Abby studied the girl, who was wearing a short dress with many fake buttons. It was white with green straps and accents, including a belt that snapped around the front. Her shoes were knee-high white boots with similar green strips on the sides. Over her eyes she wore a pair of green glassed specs with no frames. Her hair was down, clean, and fell over her shoulders elegantly. She was also wearing fresh makeup that sparkled under the neon lights.
All she could think to say was: "You look cute." But that was enough to make Kuki blush.
Abby peered over to where the bike was, an excited Wally was playing on it sporting one of the more rugged black leather jackets he was trying on earlier. A frayed brownish orange scarf sat around his neck. Black boots. His pants were a worn black material and his hair was washed, thrown back and lightly spiked. He had glasses too, clipped onto his jacket, but they were black aviator sunglasses, so he had very little use for them in the city. It was a good look for him. She looked down at her own body, feeling contented with the clothes she changed into earlier. Next to her in a bag was the jacket she selected for herself. It was red and puffy, with a ribbed cloth collar. She felt the urge to put it on. Wally told Hoagie that it was his turn to take the bike out and of course the nerd agreed.
Hoagie, sitting on the bench next to Abby now, reached into a bag and brought out a pair of red-rimmed round glasses. He handed them to her. "The crystals are worth a lot here. Kuki managed to salvage a few from the ship before it flooded. So, I guess you can get whatever you want within reason." He smiled. "Those glasses can translate Alien writing. I figured they'd be useful."
Abby clutched the small pair of round sunglasses clipped onto her shirt.
"I can keep them for you," he held out his hand. "And you can use them only when you need them. So you can keep those."
"You're gonna give me cavities," she said under her breath as she stood up and walked away from him.
There was something odd happening. She swore she thought that line in her head, but it slipped out somehow. Her guard was down. This wasn't good.
Wally and Kuki were together now, gazing into each other's eyes, laughing. She watched them for a while, their public display of affection truly something to see to be believed. Aside from her parents, she hadn't seen too many examples of simple, healthy relationships. Simple, here, was the operative word. She had watched Wally and Kuki's friendship turn to love, that love turn to loss, and then by some miracle turn back into love. Objectively, she had no reason to desire a relationship of her own, no reason for jealousy. But perhaps carelessness itself was what she coveted. They were so different than she was, so free. Despite everything that had happened, they never lost their glow. Actually, it seemed to burn brighter out here.
The air was still sweet, she noted as she inhaled. It made her want to fall backwards into the street and hope someone would catch her. Abby's eyes blasted wide open. Her throat was closing. What a weird thought. Wally and Kuki were now smashed together in their own little world. How nice, she thought. Knowing that no matter what they could fall back into each other. To announce themselves to the world and shamelessly unravel. She envied them.
"Does it smell to you?" she heard someone else say.
Abby sighed.
And then there was him.
The boy was scratching his head, messing the hair beneath the hat he had just purchased. The hat was a brown pageboy cap with patchwork on one side, which allowed the boy's bangs to stick out from under the brim. A long brown open coat that draped to the floor, and beneath a light blue collared shirt tucked in brown pants. Long-sleeved, most likely. A belt, no doubt, with a thin tie around the shirt's lapel. Brown practical shoes, the only thing about the outfit that was practical. And goggles.
"At first I thought it was a restaurant or incense shop, but I swear it's everywhere," he was still talking. As though nothing were amiss. As though all of this was normal.
Abby pressed Nigel's plastic sunglasses to her chest.
How could something so familiar feel so uncomfortable? She was looking at Wally and Kuki, and in her mind, Hoagie was there too. Only he wasn't like them. He wasn't like her either. She didn't know who he was like.
His ears still stuck out. His eyes were still blue. His teeth were still white. He still wore hats. He still wore blue, only now he wore long sleeves.
She felt immobilized. Like an imposter. She stepped through a portal into another dimension, one where her truest desires were almost realized. Maybe it was all a mistake.
"Abigail, did you hear me?"
Goggles. She couldn't believe it.
"Abigail?"
Kuki wore green. Wally wore orange. Hoagie chose goggles.
"Abby?"
She felt odd, like the air itself was at ease. When Nigel left, that was when everything collapsed. She wasn't allowed to feel this way. Not while he was still gone. Not yet. Not with everything still so incomplete. It was a mistake. A huge mistake. Thinking she could just waltz right back into this feeling. Even after everything Nigel did, he was still their leader and here she was carrying on like it was okay he was gone. She should've stayed home. She should've done what Maurice said. She was getting too close, and for once she understood how dangerous it actually was. It wasn't right. She wasn't allowed to feel this way. She wasn't allowed to fall backwards.
A hand gently touched her arm, as though it were a ghost in a light breeze. "Abby."
She turned, looking the bearer of her arm in the eye.
It overwhelmed her then. The smell. The feeling.
Home.
"Did you...hear what I said?"
"You lost the Toiletnator?!"
Abby had finally gotten out of her own head. Everyone was relieved.
Kuki flinched. "Um. I wouldn't say lost."
Wally grinned. "Boy, now you've done it."
"He's around here somewhere. He wouldn't've wandered off too far," Hoagie explained.
Abby had already taken off. Wally insisted he get the bike and Kuki ran to catch up with Abby.
"I hope Abigail is okay. She seems a little off."
"She's fine. We're in a weird unknown place."
"I guess so."
But they both knew that wasn't really what was going on at all.
Wally finally said. "Why Abigail?" He got on the bike, but Hoagie didn't understand what he was talking about. "She's saved your life a bumillion times by this point, but you still call her Abigail."
"I like Abigail," his friend replied simply. "The name. I like saying it."
"Bit proper to call someone by their full name though."
"Maybe," Hoagie said. "No one ever calls me by my full name. It'd be weird."
"Same. They don't exactly print Wallabee on gas station keychains. Not in the States, anyway." He popped his collar.
"Don't see much Hogarth either."
"Ho-garth?" Wally mused.
"Hogarth Pennywhistle Gilligan Jr."
Wally laughed. "Your parents must've hated you."
Hoagie just smirked. "It's my dad's name, Asshole." Wally shrunk nervously. "It's cool. He didn't like it either."
"Must've been confusing. Two buns in the same kitchen."
"Nah, he went by Penny."
"Penny for a man?"
"Pen for short."
"Your family is odd, Gilligan."
"You don't know the half of it," he said.
It didn't take them long to find Louis. The giant hall of toilets tipped them off right away. Abby was, however, astonished to find that he wasn't in fact getting himself into trouble or secretly communicating with Father to reveal their whereabouts. Instead, he was gazing into the third eye of a very attractive, if not somewhat ditsy Alien.
"So, you see," he managed to tell her. "I'm gonna stay here for a while. With Mae."
"Uh..."
"I know, I know. You're heartbroken to see me go," he stood proudly. "But not to worry, Numbuh 5 of the Kids Next Door—"
"Teens Next Door."
"I will no longer be a burden to you or your friends. From now on, I want to help kids and teenagers clean up their sticky messes. I will stay here and help clean up the streets of Dystal City! For justice! Finally, with someone who appreciates all that I do. I've discovered my life purpose!"
Wally and Hoagie arrived shortly after. Wally was uncomfortably greeted with a warm bear hug.
"I'll miss you the most arch nemesis!"
Everyone could tell he would rather die than say anything back.
And just like that, Abby no longer had any immediate problems to solve.
No pressures to uphold.
And until the S.L.I.N.G.S.H.O.T. was fixed, she had no mission to complete.
For the first time in a very long time, her schedule was completely free. The Toiletnator left with his new love interest and Abby congratulated Kuki on a job well done, saying that she didn't actually think that would work. Kuki agreed that she did do a fantastic job, although secretly she knew that she had nothing to do with it.
"So...what now?" Hoagie asked.
"Let's Party!" Kuki announced. She grabbed Wally and pulled him away from the store. "Party till we're blue in the face!"
"I'm already blue in the balls," Wally said.
Kuki blushed. "Well, we'll have to fix that too, won't we?"
"Not here, you won't," Abby stated.
There was definitely something strange going on. Even the Toiletnator was hooking up. But, Abby decided not to think about it too much. They were done with their gathering of supplies, extra weapons, food, clothes, way more than they needed. A break was a good idea.
She was not, however, looking forward to what Kuki had planned for them.
Location: HubClub in Dystal City
There was an ethereal halo of light around the club, the floor coated in a thick fog that cooled the legs when they stepped through it. Bright neon pinks and yellows, orange and blues, sparkled on the Alien backs as they moved to music that to most people on Earth would assume impossible to dance to. Kuki lead the way into the bar with the confidence of a bride at her bachelorette party. The air seemed thicker there, the closeness of the bodies creating pockets of heat. It was no wonder the floor needed to be cooled.
It was here Abby finally inquired about the smell, and a local explained that people around those parts tended to suffer from extreme anxiety and depressive episodes. So, to counteract these chemical imbalances, they pumped serotonin and dopamine into the air...among other things. Natural aphrodisiac, they said, clearly hitting on her. Though, it lost its impact once she realized that everyone was constantly hitting on everyone else in this place. This did, however, explain her sudden inability to control her repressed impulses. Now that she was aware of it, surely, she'd be able to keep everyone under control. It also explained why the Aliens were open to Hoagie's very offbeat and ill-timed flirtation tactics, and why he himself would morph into his Casanova persona whenever one remotely looked at him, only to question what he was doing a few moments later. Abby figured it would be a good idea to keep her eye on him just in case. She had many memories of him getting himself into trouble with women as a kid. Not because he was malicious, but rather because he was very stupid. A genius, but stupid, which was often how those things worked. Simultaneously, Wally and Kuki were affected by the chemicals, but they only had eyes for each other and therefore would run off at random times to have quick encounters in the bathroom stalls.
Kuki sauntered to the bar, leaning her arm on the table.
"Your finest illegal substances, my friend!" she placed the crystal down in front of the Alien bartender, who was listening to and serving eight other beings.
The whole of the bar stopped to case at the glowing rock, all of them knowing what it was.
"Kuki, don't just wave that thing around..." Abby whispered. "We don't wanna draw any unnecessary—"
"DRINKS ON US!" She shouted as the bar cheered.
Abby's voice flattened. "Attention."
"Let's partay!" Kuki cheered, and the rest of the Aliens cheered with her. Her dress glowed green and whitish-blue under the blacklight.
The bartender took the rock, smashing it with a giant hammer-type thing, and proceeded to insert what seemed to be, and hopefully was, a nostril into the residual powder, sucking it in with great force. The others stood there in awe.
"Drug currency!" Wally announced. "My kinda place!"
The others did not make a comment.
They all sat next to each other at the bar, which was covered in a thick layer of glowing blue ice. Wally got something on tap. Kuki went straight for the shots. Hoagie wasn't sure what to do so he just let the bartender pick. Finally, the bartender came to Abby.
"What'll it be?" they asked.
"I don't drink," she said.
"Oh come on, Abby," Wally shook her arm. "You're off the clock. Have a little fun."
But Abby kept her straight face. "Abby don't drink, on or off the clock."
Wally shrugged. "Whatever."
"Don't think I've ever met a Teen that didn't drink before," the bartender said. "You sure you're one of us?"
She smirked. "Sometimes I ain't so sure."
They winked with one of their many eyes. "You change your mind, you let me know."
She nodded, swiveling her chair around to see Hoagie, who wasn't paying attention to her at all. He was sitting, arms folded over the table right on the ice, staring into his glass. His chin rested on his arms. Abby couldn't see his face. Was he checking out again?
She leaned over. "Hey. You okay?"
"Abby, come here," he said. She leaned in closer. "Look." He pushed the glass forward as she stared into it. It had a halo of blue from the table, but the liquid was dark and sparkled like the night sky. He grabbed the glass' edge, swirling it around. "Centripetal force." She noticed there was a round object in the center, something like an ice cube. But the way it was positioned, it looked like a star. "Just kidding. It's mostly an optical illusion."
"Do you ever come out of your head and play in the real world?" she asked, teasingly.
Hoagie grinned, his teeth flashing against the dark backdrop. "One foot in and one foot out," he stated. He picked up the glass and drank from it. "Once you've had a sip of the Universe, everything in our reality feels small."
"I'd think it'd be the opposite," Abby told him. "Once you know how big the Universe is, the small things feel more like miracles."
"That sounds like a coping mechanism."
"What do you miss most about your dad?" she asked in rebuttal.
Hoagie sat upright. "The smell of his shoes," he said. "They were always sweaty and stank up the house." He let the memory hang for a while, almost as though he was smelling them. "What do you miss the most about Nigel?"
"His terrible singing," she said. "See? The more insignificant the thing, the more important it is when it's gone."
"What, like rainbow monkeys?"
"Or Yipper cards."
"Toys at the bottom of cereal boxes."
"Skinnin' knees on the playground."
"Tall tales."
"Bad puns," she whispered.
Hoagie felt his blush reach all the way to his ears.
"Infinite universes of insignificance," she concluded.
Hoagie was about to respond when the bartender placed a glass of a clear purple liquid in front of Abby. "From a special admirer," they said.
Abby pushed it away. "Abby don't drink," she said again. "Tell them sorry, but thanks for the offer." She turned the other direction to see Wally and Kuki, very much wrapped up in each other. The hormones in the air really got to them, she supposed.
"Better be careful, Abigail," Hoagie grinned, spinning his seat around so he could lean his elbows behind him. "Can't have our Captain getting seduced, now can we?"
"I think all those vegetables are finally gettin' to yo' system," she smirked. "Or maybe you're just naturally green."
"Pft," he rolled his eyes. "Not even. I'm just saying hormones can be dangerous. And they pump that shit into the air here."
"I got self-control," she said. "Somethin' you could use a bit more of."
"Oh-ho, cold." He raised his brows. "But not untrue."
"Wow. Not even a denial."
"It's a work in progress."
She rested her cheek on her palm. "Good. I like a team with personal goals."
"I like a woman with self-control." He sat back and swallowed, as though he were trying to gulp his own words. "Uh...I mean...shit. I did it again."
But Abby just raised her brow. "You bite your tongue?"
"No. I..." He smashed his hand over his face. "I was never taught how to talk to girls. My dad never taught me, and my mom and grandma were really...unhelpful. I watched a bunch of old movies to try to learn how, but they did not age well let me tell you."
"What's your point?"
He peeked through his hand. "I'm not very good at it. I always say or do something stupid. So, you should probably just ignore everything I say from now on."
"What do you mean? You talk to girls all the time. You talk to Kuki."
"Well, yeah but I'm not attracted to Ku—" He shut his lip and grabbed his drink off the table, holding it with both hands. He cleared his throat. "Never mind."
Abby failed to hide her grin. "What was that?"
"I bit my tongue," he muttered.
"Right. Must be the hormones," she said.
"Yeah! Exactly! The Hormones..." Hoagie recoiled in slight relief. "And you know, the situation. The fear, the anxiety, adrenaline...contributes."
"Savin' the world is a stressful job," she said in a cool tone. "Creates a lot of excess energy."
"Yeah, totally, yeah..." He fiddled with his drink for a while. "You are, though," he said after a bit. "Attractive."
"Mmm," she didn't give a clear reaction. "Subjectively?"
Hoagie chortled. "Subjectively."
The bartender sat another drink in front of Abby, who handed it right back to him.
"Not interested," she said.
"See? I'm not the only one who thinks so."
"Alright everyone we're getting ready for our open mic night so if you have a talent, now's your time to come up and show it off! Sign up begins now so let's get started!"
"An open mic!" Kuki gasped as she broke away from her boyfriend. "Can we do it, Wally? Oh, please! Please! Please!"
Wally's face grew red as he tried to settle her excitement.
"Abby?" Kuki asked her friend.
"I don't care," she replied genuinely. "Go for it."
Kuki grinned at Wally whose eyes were filling with anticipation.
"Alright! Let's show these Aliens how we rock Earth style!" He shouted, taking his girl by the hand and leading her through the crowd to the stage.
"What do you think they're gonna do?" Hoagie asked.
"I dunno but if she starts singin' the Rainbow Monkey theme song Numbuh 5 is outta here," Abby retorted.
It was Kuki and Wally's time to perform, something that was in both of their blood. Kuki never felt more alive than she did when she was on stage. And now, she had the chance to shine for a whole new crowd of people. She could hardly contain the excitement.
"Hello Dystal City!" Kuki called out to the crowd. "We're a rare Alien species and we're gonna play for you tonight!"
"Is that our band name?" Wally asked, fiddling with the string instrument that looked like a guitar.
"What's wrong with it?"
"It's a bit obvious."
"Well what do you wanna be called then?"
"I dunno, I'm trying to figure this thing out first."
"Are you sure you can play that?"
He smirked. "If it's got strings I can play it," he said. He didn't have to tune it very much before giving her a thumbs up. He started with a familiar riff to test the acoustics. "What'll it be, chica?"
Kuki blushed. "You know my favorite."
"You got it, Babe." He turned to the band. "Follow my lead and tryn' keep up." He played the first few measures alone as the crowd quieted. The band members nodded to each other. This could be a disaster, but it was worth a try.
The click of drumsticks was heard four times before the band started to play, a soft guitar melody came from their instruments, sounding exactly like the recording she had listened to so many times before. One of the band members handed her a microphone. She ran to the front of the stage and waved at the audience, feeling more at home there than she had in a long time.
"Kawari yuku nichinou ni
Nomi komareta mama
Ren'ai nanate
Shinai omotteta"
In the audience, Hoagie's jaw dropped. "That's..."
"Well, damn." Abby finished.
"Hito wo suki ni naru no wa
Rikutsu janai mitai
Watashi koi wo shita yo!"
Kuki winked at the audience, just as she had seen her favorite idols do on television. They cheered ecstatically.
"Mou ichido
Ugokidasu
Awaku itoshi hibi...
Nido nai shunkan to
Kanshouku wa
Kiete ita keredo
Kokoro ni nada nokoru
Junsui to
Hajimete koi o shita kioku!"
She gestured to her boyfriend who stepped forward into the light, showing off his elegant instrumental riffs. It was like something out of a movie, a musical interlude beautifully fit into their everyday lives.
Abby watched from the bar, her eyes glazed over. "I dunno what I'm gonna do," she said almost in a trance. "When I see him."
Hoagie folded his hands around his drink. "If he's still the person you remember, whatever it is will be enough." He peeked over at her through his periphery and her eyes were also pulled to his. Even through the lights on the glass, she could still see them.
"Nido nai shunkan to
Kanshouku wa
Kiete ita keredo
Kokoro ni nada nokoru
Junsui to
Hajimete koi o shita kioku!"
The song ended as Kuki waved to her fans and Wally finished with a final wail of the instrument. Hoagie and Abby broke each other's gaze to cheer for them.
As it turned out, music was one thing that couldn't be translated directly through the E.A.R.W.O.R.M., so the band used special equipment that cut out the frequencies of the translators in order for performers to sing in their native tongue. Although Kuki spoke mostly English, only using Japanese at home with her own family and with close family friends, all of her favorite songs were in Japanese or Korean. And Wally knew every one of them by heart.
She pecked him on the cheek at the end of the song, which got the crowd going even more.
"Give it up for A Rare Alien Species!" the lead band member said.
"Still a lame band name," Wally whispered, seductively.
"You're a lame band name," Kuki teased back.
"That's it for us! Now everybody get pissed!" He shouted into the audience, strumming the instrument once more before running off with his girl into the sea of bodies.
The three teenagers continued to drink and talk, Abby not drinking and doing most of the listening. Wally was sloshing around on the table. Drinks were exchanged throughout the night amongst patrons, with Abby continuing to get offers that she of course rejected.
"Didn't you wanna coffee or somethin'?" Wally slurred. "Hey waiter, cn' I get a coffee drink?"
"Okay, again, Abby don't drink. And Abby hates coffee."
"Thn why'dya say that you wanted an niced coffee then?"
"To pass the test, dummy."
"Ur a dummy," he retorted. "I love this song! Kuki let's dance—"
"How do you even know what this song is?" Abby asked.
"I don't buttits nice." He grinned. "Heh. Butt tits."
"Is it even a song?" Hoagie asked. "It just sounds like groaning."
Kuki slugged back another shot, winning yet another drinking game round with the locals. "Smashed it!"
"My girlfriend's part fish," Wally explained. "Real mermaid that one. Real sexy mermaid."
Abby kicked him slightly. "Yeah, yeah, go dance off some of that yellow stuff, Mister."
The bartender was about to set a drink in front of her, but she glared at them until they backed away. Wally and Kuki wandered off into the mob of dancers, probably not to be seen again for quite some time. Abby was okay with that. She had gotten used to their gross couple behavior during her last few months of childhood. Besides, this always happened at parties, even when Nigel was around. He had Lizzie back then, which she knew wasn't a great fit for him but at the end of the day she could see why he liked her. Sometimes just being liked by someone was enough to get you to like them back for a little while. Nothing wrong with that. He always went off with her when he wasn't working, Wally and Kuki did their thing. In the end, Abby almost always stuck with-
"Abigail." Hoagie slammed his hands on the counter. "We need food."
Yep, she thought. Now it was officially a party.
It had taken years for Kuki to get her boyfriend to dance in public. It was much easier than getting him to sing showtunes, but still a task. When he was drunk, he asked her all the time. Quick little dances where he could bang his head and rock out. Slow dancing took a lot longer, but finally on her sixteenth birthday he faced his fear and offered one up. Secretly, he liked them. Secretly, he liked a lot of things that he said he didn't like. He always talked during the dances, though, which made it a little less romantic. Usually it was about nonsense, just whatever was on his mind. Never about her. This was fine, because he was probably distracting himself from the fear of screwing up, Kuki figured. That or he knew she already knew how he felt. It wasn't like...a secret or anything. They were well-past the awkward phase.
So, what he said this time shocked her.
"Let's get married."
Kuki slowed herself down, trying to hold him up in case he passed out.
"Tonight," he said. "Fuck it let's do it tonight."
"I thought you wanted to wait until after high school."
"Pfft," he spit. "World might end before that."
"The world's not gonna end, Wally. Abby's going to make sure of that."
"Look, the way I see it, we got two options," he said, hardly able to hold up his head. "Either we get married...or...we die."
Kuki giggled. "Those are the only options?"
"We could'a died, you know? Out here. Almost did a couple times," he looked around. "This place is brilliant. Everyone's either too pissed or busy fucking each other to care about anything. We should move here."
"Wally, you're drunk."
"I love you," he said directly. "That's all I know. I don't wanna die without marryin' you. You're like the whole universe really. You are."
She flushed. "Wally, stop."
"We get married or we die. That's it. There's nothin' else. And we're gonna die anyway, so we may as well get married."
"You're not making any sense."
"I want to marry you..." he whispered. His voice cracked. "And I don't wanna die."
Kuki looked around, realizing what was happening. "You won't make it through the vows. You're wrecked," she appeased him as best she could.
"Fair. That's...yeah...that's fair," he agreed. "Forget I said anything. Let's get smashed and kill our brains! Party till the end of the world!"
"I think we're already there."
"It's the end of the world as we know it...and I feel fine..." he sang to himself as he fell over.
Shit, Kuki thought to herself.
"Best thing you ever ate."
Abby licked her fingers. "Delightful Children's Birthday cake, the fourth flavor, and...oh. Hot chocolate with mars mellows."
"What's the fourth flavor?"
"The original four flavors of ice cream. Vanilla, Chocolate, Strawberry, and the Fourth Flavor."
"What is the fourth flavor?"
"The fourth flavor. It ain't a flavor. It's the flavor. The Fourth one."
"Right. Why would it have a name? That would be practical."
"You go."
Hoagie stuffed some neon Alien food into his mouth. "This here is pretty fantastic, not gonna lie. But then again, I haven't had a real meal in five days so..." He swallowed. "Best thing I ever ate? Okay so there was this chili dog cart when I was a kid that I loved."
Abby smiled. "I remember."
"Did you try it?!"
"Not really Abby's thing."
"Beef, Pork, real cheddar cheese. Oh, man. They were awesome. That and..." he paused. "Okay so this is gonna sound weird."
"Is it that thing you make with cheese puffs and orange soda?"
"No, but it's creepy that you know about that." He finished off his drink. "Cranberry sauce."
"Cranberry sauce."
"I've got a bit of a sauce addiction. Alfredo sauce. Chocolate sauce. Barbecue sauce, oh man. Good barbecue sauce. But my mom makes cranberry sauce every year for Thanksgiving and I go nuts over it. Real berries, cane sugar, tart and sweet all at the same time. I put it on everything. And I mean everything." He popped another appetizer into his mouth. "Okay, worst thing you ever ate."
"Platypus stuffing," she said. "And liver. Any kinda liver." Her body shuddered at the thought of Grandma Stuffum's copious dinner monstrosities. They were too numerous to mention.
"Ehh." He winced. "That's seriously gross. I was just gonna say—"
"Rhubarb pie," Abby said without thinking.
Hoagie froze. "Okay you gotta stop doing that." The bartender brought him another drink.
"My turn," she started again. "One thing you've always wanted to do but never could."
"Win the science fair," he jeered.
She rolled her eyes. "I'm serious."
"So am I."
"That one doesn't count."
"Win Tubathon," he said.
Abby brushed her hair back. "Really? Still?"
He shrank a bit into himself. "Yeah...it's a bit of a...let's just say it's a sore spot for me." He gulped down more of his drink, preparing. "There was one year, I was...eleven...I think. Literally everyone won except for me. Actually, you were probably there."
"Yep."
"Did you race?"
"Hmhm."
His face twisted. "Did you win?"
"I did."
"Congrats." He shook his head. "Even Tommy beat me. Never let me live it down either. Dad said he won every year. I wanted to win for him. But turns out he lied about that. He lied about a lot of stuff..." He looked down at his hands. "It was embarrassing. My tube broke, and I never raced again. I don't think." He kicked his feet. "It's fuzzy. I can't ever remember much from that time. I'm not exactly thrilled about the idea of getting my childhood memories back, but I would at least like to know what happened then."
"Want me to tell you?"
"Is it gonna be something weird?"
"Not unless you think Father tryin'a bake all the contestants into a giant birthday cake for his Children is weird."
"...If I wasn't in space right now drinking space booze in a club full of horny aliens I would swear you make all this up."
She watched the Aliens pass around their drinks, the noise blaring around her. "You saved them, you know. Every kid that won that year, they did cause'a you. None of them would be here at all if it wasn't for that flabby tube'a yours."
Hoagie just stared at her.
"I know I wouldn't be..." Her hand reached down to her neck. "Y'know...as dangerous as the KND was, it wasn't too often that our actual lives were in danger. Our freedom, sure. And sometimes things more precious than our lives. But there were a few times we could'a died. Fo'real." She exhaled. "I never even thanked you. No one did. We were just happy to win."
Hoagie shrugged it off, but inside he was glowing pridefully. "That was the job, right?"
"I guess. Well, thanks anyway."
"Good enough jus' to know I'm not that incompetent," he admitted. His voice was beginning to slur now. "How'bout you? What's your thing?"
Abby smiled. "This."
Hoagie stopped. He had no response to that. She didn't expect him to. They sat for a while in the silence.
"Okay, favorite-"
"Hoagie."
"Y-yeah?"
"Yo' tie is crooked," she said, standing to her feet. She leaned over to adjust it. Hoagie stiffened at her sudden forwardness. "You know," she said. "Nigel's terrified of ties."
"Is he?"
"Thinks they constrict people into corporate zombies or somethin' like that." She pulled the knot up, tugging on the tongue slightly. "They'll strangle the life out of you, if you're not careful."
"He shouldn't give them that kinda power."
She smirked. "You don't believe in evil tie snakes?"
"I believe in everything now."
Abby let out a genuine laugh. She felt intoxicated, although she couldn't possibly have been. It was as though every inch of her body wanted to make horrible mistakes, and it took every ounce of her will power to keep herself in line. "Today threw me off," she spoke just loud enough that he could hear. "It's all a little too familiar. Almost like things used to be...almost."
He looked up at her, his head heavy. "Abby. You know even if we could get our memories back," he said. "Things aren't going to be like they used to be."
Her fingers traced on the counter. "I know that." Her body was moving forward, closer to him. "And I'm okay with it."
He paused to read her. "You are?"
She nodded. "Mm-hm."
He nodded back in understanding. "I think I'm drunk now," he spoke breathily.
Her lips turned up more, her brows lifting. "Want me to take you home?"
"Home? We're like...twenty bumillion miles from home."
She gave him a knowing look.
"Oh." He tilted his head far to the side. "Okay. Something's wrong with you."
"Wrong with me?"
"Must be something in the air," he said.
She pulled down his hat. "Very funny."
He flashed her a toothy grin. "I am very funny."
She sighed, listening to the music thudding around her. "We probably should go back."
"Probably," he said.
"Shouldn't dance or nothin'."
"Bad choice."
"Mmm. Bad choice."
Her fingers drummed on the counter.
"But...I've been makin' nothin' but bad choices. Why break the streak?"
"Uh, guys..." Kuki waddled over, dragging Wally by the arms, looking as though she were about to drop him. "A little help?"
"I got it, Kuki!" Abby said, going to her and taking one of Wally's arms and helping him to the bar, where he collapsed face-down, his skin flushed from ear to ear. "Jeez how much did he have?"
"Two is his limit," Kuki explained. "After that he just falls asleep. See?" She poked his cheek. "Wally?"
"I like coconanas..." he slurred back.
"Oh boy," Abby peered over his head.
Kuki sat down, her own cheeks flushed from the dancing among other things. "Boy living like you're dying sure takes a lot out of you, huh?"
"I'll say," Hoagie replied, rolling his shoulder back. "Can you believe these Aliens live like this every day?"
But Abby's attention was still on Wally. "He gonna be okay?"
"Oh, yeah. He does this all the time," Kuki assured her, but her voice was less perky than usual. She yawned, stretching upwards. She looked at the counter. "So, you finally got her to party, eh Hoagie?"
"Eh?" He looked at her innocently.
Abby turned to see a small martini-like glass with glowing purple liquid next to her. "For the love of..." She pushed herself up across the table. "What part of I don't drink are you misunderstandin'?!"
"Tsk, tsk," a voice came from behind. "That's no way to accept ein gift, is it?"
Abby's entire body grew stiff as a board.
"Und here I vent through all zis trouble to get your attention."
She put on a brave face and turned to meet the eyes of her 'admirer'. She, yes, she, was a human. Blue sparkling eyes, platinum blonde hair braided into a bun and pink blushed cheeks. Her lips smacked on a purple lollipop, not that Abby ever saw her without some kind of candy in her mouth.
"Henrietta?" Abby crossed her arms.
The girl beamed. "All these years you're still dry as ein bone." She winked, her lids glittered. "Zat's mein Abigail, for you."
"The hell you doin' here?"
"I could ask you ze same question," Henrietta twirled a strand of hair around her finger. "I zhought you didn't like to leave ze milky way."
Abby's face soured. "We're here on a mission."
Henrietta surveyed the drunkards at the bar. "Clearly."
"S.L.I.N.G.S.H.O.T.'s broken. We need it to get to G:KND Headquarters. It's an emergency."
Kuki pushed against her rosining cheeks. "Abby who is that?"
"Kuki, Fraulein. It's been too long." Henrietta kissed the girl on the cheek, which caused her to almost collapse. "You grow more und more lovely as ze years go by. I see you und Numbuh 4 are still in contact. Zat's...nice."
"You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen," she whispered.
"You flatter me," she touched Kuki's chin. "If you're ever bored, mein kind, don't hesitate to call. Men can be, vhat's ze American word, ein snooze?"
"Ahem." Abby glowered.
"Oh, don't be jealous, Abigail." She went back to Abby, who was not enjoying the games. "You'll always be mein favorite." She grinned at Hoagie, who was having a hard time not staring at her. "Hello, Hoagie."
"Well, hello."
"I like your coat."
He cocked a brow, his automatic pilot activating. "You'll like what's under it even more."
"Don't hold yo' breath," Abby interjected. "Henrietta Von Marzipan wouldn't suck a dick if it were coated in chocolate."
Henrietta gasped. "Abigail! You should know anyzing chocolate-coated is always on ze table."
Hoagie lost his cool a bit and laughed awkwardly.
"What do you want, Heinie?" Abby stepped in.
"You never believed in coincidences, did you? Just stumbling into each other for ein good time, no?"
Abby glared.
"Fine. Ein little birdy told me ein couple of humans from Earth von ein paintball game out in Pulsar. So, I took ein gamble und tracked you down."
"Ooh!" Kuki jumped up. "That was me! I won the paintball game!"
"I thought perhaps you vould want to help me with ein job. Seeing as you're out here already." She knocked on the counter. "I'm in ze mood for somezing sweet."
"I'm busy."
Henrietta looked around. "Vere's your boyfriend?" She shrugged. "Seems like ze gang's all back togezer. He should be here too."
"Nigel is not my boyfriend," Abby corrected.
"Oh?" She bit her lip. "Vell, good news for me zen."
Kuki nudged her own passed-out boyfriend. "Wally, wake up!" She tried to shake him, but he was out like a light. "There's some serious sexual tension going on here and you're missing it!"
"Why should I help you?" Abby sneered. "Since when do you care about the Kids Next Door?"
"I don't," Henrietta said. She looked at Hoagie, who was sitting uncomfortably, unsure of what to make of the situation. As she got closer, he got redder. "Perhaps one of you will answer mein questions?"
The boy swallowed hard.
"How about you und I take ein trip to Guatemala...hm?" She flipped up his collar.
"G-G-Guatemala?"
"Your caramels..." she whispered. "I still dream about zem to zis day. Zat intelligence. One of ze most sophisticated, complex flavors I ever tasted." She got closer, he could feel her breath on his skin. "Vat I vouldn't give for just one...more...bite..."
A hand reached in and gripped Henrietta's ear, yanking her up and away from him. "Back off," Abby snarled.
"Oh come now, mein lieb. We're only having a bit of ze fun." She pried the hand off of her ear. "Don't be ein stick in ze dirt."
"Mud."
Henrietta leaned in so that only Abby could hear her. "Breaking all ze rules zis time, aren't we?" Abby didn't reply and tried not to react. "As far as I remember, you're not allowed to be fraternizing with your old teammates."
"What you gonna do? Tell on me?"
She grinned. "Of course not. What kind of girlfriend vould I be if I did zat?"
"Henrietta, for the last time..."
"You'll change your mind, Abigail. You und I vere made for each other. You'll see. Space is so much more open-minded."
"That ain't the reason and you know it."
Henrietta then turned the others, speaking loudly. "I'm surprised to see you out here, Abby. Uno's gotten himself in anozer tussle, has he?"
"So it would seem."
"Too bad you didn't go vith him," she said. "You vouldn't have to travel so far."
Now she knew what Henrietta was up to. "Heinie..."
"But you decided to stay on Earth. Pity."
Kuki sat up. "Wait. Decided to stay?"
"Henie. Seriously. Shut it." Abby's voice groveled, her fists were clenching.
"Oh, you don't know?" Henrietta grinned in a sinister fashion. "Abigail was offered ein position with ze Galactic Kids Next Door. Very prestigious honor. She turned zem down, of course. Heaven only knows vhy."
"Abby..." Kuki folded her hands. "Is that true?"
Hoagie's face cracked. "They offered you a job?"
Abby grabbed Henrietta and dragged her aside. "Excuse me, can I talk to you for a second?" she grumbled.
"Anyzing for you."
When they were out of earshot, Abby let go. "Why?"
"I thought perhaps they'd vant to know zat you stayed for zem."
"I did not stay for them."
Henrietta puffed. "Oh, come now."
"I didn't leave for Nigel and didn't stay for no one else, got it?" she stated. "Abby does what Abby wants because Abby wants."
"Yes, of course." Henrietta rolled her eyes.
"I cannot believe you."
"I don't see ze big deal."
"Jesus, Heinie. I was this close!" Abby spun herself in a circle, walking away from her, back toward her, and then away again. "Now I got more shit to explain!"
"Close to vat? Hm?" She followed her. "Vere do you zink all zis is going to go? You will go off vith zem? Run und play in your little treehouse forever und ever?"
"I don't know!" Abby faced her again, her hands over her hat. She exhaled deeply. "I don't know," she said again.
"If they're here, und you're in space," Henrietta continued. "Zen 'sings on Earth must be very bad."
"They are," Abby said before twisting her face. "Not that you care."
"Listen. I need you, Abigail. I need someone..." she tried to find the right words. "Trustworthy."
"What makes you think I'm just gonna drop everything and help you steal more candy?"
Henrietta shook her head. "Not candy. I've had to expand mein practice."
Abby's eyes narrowed. "To?"
"Cinnamon."
"That code for somethin'?"
"It's ein Spice."
"Since when are you into Spices?" She began to walk away from her. "Nevermind. I ain't interested."
"It's said to be...mind-altering. Worth ein fortune. Do you know how much candy ve could buy with even ein ounce?"
"Forget it, Heinie. Tomorrow the S.L.I.N.G.S.H.O.T. is gonna be fixed and I am gonna be on it, soon as it is. You get your own drugs."
"So Abby got a job offer from the G:KND, huh?" Kuki said, pressing her feet against the bottom of the bar. "She must love the Earth a whole lot, since she gave up being with Nigel Uno to stay there. She cares about him so much."
Hoagie was slumped over the counter, his hand on his forehead. "I'm such an idiot," he said under his breath.
"It is not for me!" they heard the blonde German shout as Abby hustled back to the bar.
"I said no!"
"Vat if it could bring zeir memories back!"
Abby stopped.
Hoagie sat up and spun around. "What if what could?"
She sneered. "Nothin'. Yo' drunk."
"It's one little job," Henrietta pouted.
"What's the job?" Kuki asked.
"It ain't happenin'," Abby snarled.
Kuki pouted. "Yeah, but I still wanna know!"
"Cinnamon is known to be one of ze most powerful substances in ze entire Universe. At least fifty times more powerful'zn crystal. Und I just need ein incy, weency bit of it!"
"A drug?" Hoagie stood.
"I thought you were drunk," Abby griped at him.
"Drug Adventure!" Wally lifted his head off the counter for a brief instance. "I'm in!" He collapsed again shortly after.
"Abby, a drug could work." Hoagie had his finger to his chin. His mind was definitely concocting something.
"No. No. Absolutely not," she pushed him back. "No one is goin' on drugs. We've wasted too much time already."
"Abby, if we can't get to Uno, even past the G:KND security, that's it. This whole thing's been for nothing."
"Then we'll do it without the recommissioning module."
"Do you know the odds of that happening? We are going to be there tomorrow."
She stood up on her toes, so she could tower over him. "I am not puttin' anyone on drugs! End of discussion!" She spun on her heels and walked out of the club.
"Abby!" Kuki called.
Henrietta shook her head, moving next to Hoagie. "Tsk. Intelligence is such ein burden, isn't it?" she said. "If it ever gets too much for you, zere's always Guatemala."
"Excuse me," he replied as he walked off.
Kuki called. "Where are you—"
"Just stay in the bar, Kuki. Take care of Wally."
Kuki huffed. "Stay in the bar, Kuki," she grumbled. She looked at her sleeping partner. "The things I do for you, Wallabee." The boy hiccupped, then licked his lips. She stroked his head.
She always missed all the good fights.
"Abigail!" Hoagie pushed through the crowded street. "God dammit...Abigail!"
Abby didn't stop. Her pace was brisk, but she could still hear him calling her name.
He was running. She knew he wouldn't stop so she eventually slowed down. "No," she said.
Hoagie panted. "Abby—"
"No."
"Would you just listen to—"
"No."
"So, we're back to this, huh?" He heaved.
Abby was silent.
"Fine. I'll talk," he said, getting his breath back. "You know we need that recommissioning module. You won't admit it, but you know it."
"We'll be fine."
"This could be our one chance to get it to work. I can't believe you're going to pass this up!" More silence. "I just need thirty minutes, ten! Ten minutes on the stuff and I can remember how to fix the recommissioning module! No one else has to do it, okay? Just a little bit, Abby. One dose and I can get our memories back! Forever! I thought that's what you wanted!"
"Not this way!" she snapped back. "Not like this. It's too dangerous."
"We don't have much choice."
"I don't trust her!" Abby shouted.
"You don't have to trust her. There's four of us, one of her. What's she gonna do?"
Abby continued to shake her head, hugging her arms close to her.
"Hey, Abby..." He ran to her side. "Look at me. Hey. Listen to me." Perhaps it was the air, or something else, but there was no hesitation in him whatsoever as he touched her shoulders. "This is a miracle," he said. "And we could use one of those."
Abby was quiet for a long time. "And if it goes wrong?"
He shrugged. "Then you can blame me." But Abby was still hesitant. "I know what you're risking by doing this. I probably don't even know a fraction of it, but I know enough," he said. His hands broke off of her shoulders. "It's your choice."
"God, I hate you sometimes," she mumbled. "Fine."
He brightened. "Seriously?"
"Yeah, but I'm gonna be on that woman's ass the whole time I hope you know."
Hoagie grinned from ear to ear. "Thank you, Abby."
"Yeah, yeah." She sniffed. "Just don't get used to it."
"All settled? Good," Henrietta's voice rang over the crowd. The two teens turned to see her smirking at them. "So how'bout zat drink?"
END TRANSMISSION.
Listen to "Hajimete Koi wo Shita Kioku/Memories of My First Love" here: watch?v=VV34fz92Ubc
Translation lyrics into english: wiki/The_Memory_of_My_First_Love_(Song)
From the anime "Kaminomi zo Shiru Sekai/The World God Only Knows" which is great. Please use the link above instead of watching the clip from the show if you are at all interested in checking it out. It has heavy spoilers.
And of course avoid the comments! XD