A Mirror Image

I'm not going to exposit the entire Noa Arc. I hope nobody minds. I'm sure Kazuki Takahashi, who owns these characters, doesn't.

Seto's mind had been filled with Mokuba.

He hated to admit he was that attached to anyone, but Mokuba was different. He would be lost without his little brother, and he didn't care who knew it. He was willing to jump off a cliff, or a castle turret, for Mokuba. He would light himself on fire for his little brother. The Prossers put them through Hell, then Pegasus, and now Noah was too. But that didn't matter. He would go through Dante's infernal Nine Circles nine times over if it meant Mokuba's suffering would be lessened for a minute.

Their last conversation haunted him. At the blimp, a red-haired girl had begged him to take Bakura and Mai to a hospital. For a few moments, he had just stared at her. He thought he should know who she was, but it just wasn't coming to him. She had one of those hippie names-Peace, Freedom, Butterfly? She was staring at him with pleading eyes, and so was Mokuba.

"Fine," he said.

Later, Mokuba had approached him.

"Hey, big brother," he leaned against the wall, trying to seem cool. "Listen, I just wanted to tell you, thanks for getting Bakura help. I think everyone's happier now. "

"Don't mention it, Mokuba. Though I can't get excited about them being happy. It doesn't take much to please them." Kaiba cut his deck.

"You really made Joey's sister happy," Mokuba continued. "I think she likes you. How about you take her, and I'll take Téa?"

At Gardner's name, Kaiba jerked his head up to stare at his brother.

"What? Téa's hot. And I don't think she's dating Yugi, though I think she wants to, which sucks, because I'm more of a man than he is. My dick's probably bigger, too." He looked sideways at Kaiba and winked. "At least, it is around Téa."

In two seconds Kaiba had his brother pinned to the wall, his shoulders in a white- knuckle grip.

"Jesus! Seto! What the hell!" Mokuba squirmed in his grip.

Kaiba was surprised he felt so angry. He loosened his grip on Mokuba.

"God, Seto! What's wrong with you?" Mokuba glared up at Kaiba, his eyes wide and wet. The strain of keeping up a tough demeanor was shown by the tiny, almost imperceptible pout of his bottom lip. "God, if you want her so bad for yourself, just say so!"

"I don't want her!" Kaiba was surprised at how booming his voice was. Mokuba eyes widened and he pressed himself further into the wall. Even though he towered over his brother, Mokuba's actions made Kaiba feel small and weak. "Mokuba, I thought I taught you better than that. To say such disrespectful things about the girl who saved your life is disgusting and completely beneath you."

Mokuba's eyes lowered. "I'm sorry, Seto." He sighed. "I didn't mean it. I was just joking."

"It's not funny." Kaiba let go of Mokuba, who backed away and rubbed his biceps. "But I do admit I overreacted. "

Mokuba looked genuinely shocked. His brother admitting a mistake? But then he looked away, scowling. "No shit," he muttered. Kaiba still caught this, even though Mokuba was whispering into the wall.

"Look, Mokuba, I…" Mokuba turned back from the wall, interrupting Kaiba.

"But Seto…I really do like her, though. She saved my life. She's pretty and smart and nice and I…"

"She's one of Yugi's friends, and Yugi is my rival," Kaiba braked his brother's train of thought. "Have a healthy respect for her, but don't entertain any romantic notions. In fact, I helped save her and her friends' lives, so, in my point of view, we're even. You don't owe her a thing."

"Okay, Seto." Mokuba's voice was hesitant. Kaiba knew he did not succeed in wiping Téa Gardner from his younger brother's mind. Mokuba would never forget Téa Gardner, and he would keep daydreaming about her. That makes two of us, he thought to himself. Just what we need.

"And Seto, you don't even have to tell me about Joey's sister. I would never go for her, and I know you wouldn't either. I was seriously just kidding." Mokuba was still rubbing his biceps. Kaiba wished he would stop.

"What sister?"

Mokuba cocked an eyebrow. "Serenity?" At Seto's silence, he cocked the other eyebrow. "The redhead? The one who wanted you to get medical care for Bakura?"

"Oh, her," Kaiba mused on all the interactions he had seen between Wheeler and the redhead. "I thought she was his girlfriend."

That was the last real conversation he had had with his brother before Mokuba had been taken from him. As he watched Wheeler and (Summer? Season? No, Serenity. That was it.) Serenity cling to each other, he didn't feel the revulsion he knew he would normally be feeling. Instead, he felt envy.

He didn't have time for this. He didn't know where the others had been, and he didn't care. He was leaving.

Gardner stopped him.

She stepped in front of him as if she truly believed she could stop him, as if she believed they were equally matched in strength and determination. She looked him right in the eye, her arms thrown wide, exposing her heart to his gaze.

He stared back at her, into her blue eyes, and her open face, and saw that however she had changed from what happened last night, she was not broken, and she was not afraid. He couldn't take his eyes off of her.

Then he realized what she was doing. Even after everything, she still cared about Mokuba. She wanted to help him find Mokuba. She wanted to help him, the man who hurt her, after all that had happened.

He was scared she might actually step forward and hug him. He wanted Mokuba back so badly, and he realized that he couldn't cry. He wanted to cry, but he couldn't, not by himself. If she held him, though, he could let go. He was tired, so very tired, and she was offering to take some of his burden.

He saw himself stepping forward into her arms, wrapping himself around her, and just…standing there for a while.

It was that wish that made him unable to look her in the eye anymore. He couldn't recognize himself in that fantasy, and it frightened him. He turned away from her wide eyes and open arms.

Now, here was Mokuba, standing in front of him in the same pose, only not to keep him in, but to push him away. The parallels were not lost on him, even through this pain. He hadn't forgotten his last conversation with Mokuba, either, which had all come down to Téa Gardner.

His interactions with both the girl and his brother kaleidoscoped around him. He had blamed Mokuba for his own stupid mistake, and in the past twenty- four hours had thrown him into a wall. He had made Gardner bleed, and, maybe worse, had forced her to see the worst he could ever be.

I am such a shit, he thought dispassionately. I hate myself.

Noah smirked at him. He thought Yugi may be calling his name, and that made him feel the rock under his feet, the air on his skin, and the smooth cards in his hand. It made him see the emptiness in Mokuba's eyes, the red tint to the larkspur irises.

Fuck, he thought. I still can't lose to this guy. I refuse to.

Those words were comfortable in his mind, and he recognized himself. His cards were in his hand. The Blue-Eyes (the Angel, the Goddess) was in his hands.

He was Seto Kaiba. He could hate himself, but he couldn't—wouldn't—lose.