Chapter Summary: At last the recommissioning module is fixed! But the reunion is short-lived as a ticking clock and some strange side-effects threaten to undo all of teens' hard work.

INCOMING CONTENT WARNING: Drugs and themes of Mental Health

INCOMMING TRANSMISSION...

The hall was filled with flashing faces on a series of large screens, encircling the chair where Numbuh Vine sat. Other than that, it was nothing but wires and metal. The most boring room in all of headquarters in Vine's opinion.

"Again, Vine?" the Head of Council was looking directly at them. "You gotta stop doing this."

They scoffed. "I'm not the one tinker-tankering with other people's brains."

"We're trying to stop the virus! To do that we gotta stop the Adult thoughts from coming in. We can't just pick and choose which ones. Any one of them could be dangerous!"

They huffed again.

"We can't stop him from getting older, but we can stop him from growing up. Don't you want that?"

"I don't know anymore..." They said dramatically. "I want Numbuh 1 to be safe but the way he's been acting lately...it just isn't him! Oh, I'm so confused."

"If he's afraid of the thoughts," another council member said, "He won't want to have them. He'll keep wanting to stay young."

Another nodded. "Exactly."

"But that doesn't make sense!" Vine protested. "When you're scared of something all you can do is think about it! It might make him want to be young forever but fear only makes things grow."

"That's no excuse for tampering with our systems!"

"This is all just so wrong! Numbuh 1 used to be our friend. We went on missions together. We were a team! You remember, don't you?"

The Head of Council hid beneath their pine needles. "That was a long time ago."

"You can't just keep him hidden away forever! Just let him go home!"

"Home? To Earth?" They gasped. "You can't be serious! He'll turn into an Adult for sure!"

"What's wrong with that?" Vine asked. "Maybe he would be a good Adult."

"He has Father's genes. A villain."

"And the genes of Numbuh 0! A hero!"

"We don't know how the virus will affect him!"

"We don't even know if it will!"

"Stop! I know what you're doing! Your weird interest in Numbuh 1 has gone too far this time, Vine. You're not thinking clearly. You learned about this love thing and now it's gone straight to your head!"

"So what if it has!" Vine flipped their vine-like hair. "What's the point of being immortal if this is all I have to look forward to! What's so wrong with wanting to fall in love?"

"Uh...everything!" they snapped. "We don't do that! That's Adult stuff!"

"Come on! It's fun!"

"You asked me to be your boyfriend. I don't even know what that means."

"Then I take it back. You're not a prince charming. I should have never broken up with Nigie! At least he knows what love is."

"That's a bad thing. Kids don't fall in love."

"Well, maybe that's stoopid." They walked to the end of the podium, wrapping their vine-hands in prayer. "What kind of life is that? To never fall in love? Get married? Have a wedding!" She growled. "I want a wedding!"

"You only think that because Earth tells little girls that's what they should want! So they can continue to procreate!" they argued. "And you're not a girl! You're a Kid!"

"What if I want to be a girl?"

"Vine!"

"I want a wedding!" she screamed again in a tantrum. "I want it! I want it! I want it! I want it! I want it! I want it!"

"Vine!" Another member tried to calm her down, to no avail.

"I want to be a girl and wear dresses and get married with a gorgeous wedding with flowers and a band and a white dress and everything! That's my dream not something someone decided for me!" she shouted. "You don't understand what it feels like to be beautiful!"

"You're so weird."

"Fine!" They turned.

"Where are you going? We're not done here!"

"I am," they said. "I'm going to find Nigie. And we are going to leave this oppressive ugly place and go somewhere where we can be free! And then we'll get married and grow old together and live happily ever after! You know why?" she said. "Because he loves me, dammit!"

The whole council gasped as the cuss escaped their mouth.

"Vine! You—"

"Oh, stuff it!"

The Head of Council fumed. "Okay, fine. You can live happily ever after with Numbuh 1," they said. "In quarantine."

Vine was collected by the guards and hauled away, but not without one final word.

"I'll be a girl! You'll see!" she said. "I will be a blushing beautiful bride and there's nothing you can do about it!"

She shouted, looking back at the surprised faces, her voice in a growl.

"Beautiful!"

And that was how Agent Vine, supposedly, contracted the Aging Virus.

...supposedly.

...WARNING

THE AGING VIRUS EXISTS

DO NOT ENGAGE

WE WILL PROTECT YOU

DO NOT READ FURTHER

REPEAT. DO NOT -

Nigel shot out of bed, sweat drenching his body. He touched his chest, his hand moving up and down with the audible breaths. His fingers pinched the bridge of his nose. It was a horrible dream, but one he couldn't quite place. He had been having nightmares like this for what would have been years now in Earth time. However, he always forgot when he had them or what they were. The only time he was reminded was when he would awaken from one. He thought perhaps he could hear people screaming, or maybe he was dreaming of Earth. But no matter what he did, Nigel could not recall. He picked himself up, stretching his arm back as he walked toward the door.

His hand pressed firmly on a solid wall of glass.

Dreams, he supposed, were all he had now.

Now Loading...

Code: RESTRICTED

Operation: F.R.I.S.B.E.E.

Friends

Reunited

Infiltrate

Secret

Base

Expecting

End

Written by Officially Wrong with properties owned by Tom Warburton

And the Cartoon Network

*Trigger Warning: See end chapter notes for content*

Episode 20

"When it goes off, the Cinnamon will synthesize with the properties of the nostronarium creating a beam powerful enough to penetrate the firewall and release the neurological blocks caused by the decommissioning process."

"That sounds complicated," Kuki remarked from across the room.

"It's very complicated!" Hoagie called back at her. "Why do you think it took me so long?"

"But in theory," Abby added, moving next to him. "It'll work same as before."

"In theory," Hoagie agreed. "According to Wally the peak should last six to eight hours. After that, we'll know whether or not the effects will be permanent."

"Unless you eat lemons, then you only got about four," Wally waited. "There's no lemon in there, is there? Nobody eat any lemons!"

"Where would we even get lemons out here?" Rachel asked.

Hoagie perked. "Well, in my experience life's always giving you lemons..."

The others stared at him, unamused.

He cleared his throat. "Tough crowd."

"And you're sure this is safe?" Rachel asked.

"My estimate is that it's the same risk as any hallucinogen," he said. "It may trigger bad memories and negative emotional responses but there's no known physical risk to the experience. Actually, people have reported miraculous healings from them."

"Allow yours truly to educate you, Dear Rachel," Wally slipped in with an excited grin. "Years ago, waay back in the seventies, people in America re-discovered the power of psychedelics, even though ancient tribes had been usin' it like forever. And all these people were sayin' how it was gonna help people with addictions and mind problems and stuff when they made LSD. But when the hippie movement threatened to end all their fat-cat wars, the government illegalized it with a war on drugs which was really just a war on the truth—"

"Okay, Wally, we get it..." Kuki pulled him back. "It's a conspiracy. Capitalism is terrible. Viva la resistance."

Abby chuckled. "Nigel would be so proud." But her smile faded when Nigel came back into her mind.

"We're all on board," Hoagie said. "But it's your decision." He held the machine out to her. "So...what do you think, Abigail? You ready to see your friends again?"

She looked at the machine, then back at him. "Hoagie, I—I don't even know how to—"

But he knew what she was going to say. He placed the machine in her hands, holding it with her a moment before letting it go.

Watching the scene, Wally whispered to Kuki. "That cupcake is mine."

She sneered. "You can pry it from my cold dead hands, Wallabee."

"Alright, Team!" Abby shouted. "Fingers up!"

Wally rolled his eyes. "Do I have to do this part?"

"Fingers up!" She said again.

Wally stuck his up.

"And salute!"

Wally, Kuki and Hoagie stuck their fingers up their noses, each pulling out a bugger. The followed through individually, sticking their snot into the machine. Then, the stepped back. Kuki grabbed Wally's hand, who eventually got scared and grabbed Hoagie's.

Abby exhaled, readying herself. Rachel moved behind her and the machine for protection. "Ready?" Her friends nodded, their eyes slamming shut. She grabbed the handle. "Here goes nothin'..."

As she cranked the handle, the familiar tune of Pop Goes the Weasel began to play. A blueish-green light sparked from the machine, making it shake. Finally, at the end of the first phrase, a beam of light shot through the lens at the front of the machine at her friends. She wanted to stop cranking, but something told her to keep going. She was shot backward, landing in Rachel's arms. The three squeezed each other's hands tighter. The machine got harder and harder to crank.

A penny for a spool of thread

A penny for a needle

That's the way the money goes...

Pop!

The beam disappeared. Abby released the handle as the verse played out on its own. There was a lull as she caught her breath. One eye opened at a time. She waited.

Wally looked down at his clothes. His shoes. He wiggled his toes just to be sure he was alive. Kuki held her head, and Hoagie kept his eyes and fists clenched until someone spoke.

Then, a thought. "The Toiletnator is my uncle." He said it in one breath. "My uncle! I'm related to that guy!"

Hoagie's eyes popped open as he let go of Kuki's hand. "I kissed Numbuh 86. On purpose." His fingers went beneath his goggles, pulling the skin down over his eyes. "Everyone saw."

Wally laughed. "Ooof. Yeah, you win, Mate."

Hoagie groaned, his fingers moving from his eyes to his hair, grabbing it. "My life is over!" He gasped. "I can never show my face in public again."

"You guys..." Kuki sniffled, taking a step forward. "It's awful."

"What is it?" Wally went to comfort her.

"I...I..." She big her lip. "I gave away half of my rainbow monkeys!" She cried, her shoulders slouching as her head moved toward the ceiling. "I didn't even send them to a retirement home! I just gave them away...to...to a—" she could barely say the words. "Thrift store!"

"THAT'S what you care about?" Wally whined. "Your cruddy rainbow monkeys!"

Kuki gasped, offended. "They were my friends."

"Aww, it's okay Numbuh 3—" Hoagie tried.

But she snapped back at him with a hoarse growl. "It'll never be okay." She ran to Wally. "I need Mr. Huggikins."

The boys stepped back. "No way! Not this again..."

She pouted, her eyes sparkling with plea.

He glared at her. "Oh...fine. One time."

Hoagie interjected. "You guys still—-?"

"You tell anyone, you're dead." Wally glared at him until he backed up with a sheepish smile.

Kuki squeezed Wally tightly. "I love you Mr. Huggikins!" There was silence. She squeezed tighter. "I said I LOVE YOU MR. HIGGIKINS!" Still nothing. "Say it!"

Wally groaned. "I love you."

"Say it right!"

He put on a character-like voice. "I looove you."

That seemed to do the trick as Kuki went back to her smiling disposition.

"You know what?" Hoagie teased. "I take back my win."

"Shut up."

Finally, they stopped, as though a wave hit them. The three turned to the woman on the other side of the room. She was watching them, unable to speak, her eyes glistening. And has her eyes caught theirs, they each filled with tears, long-awaited and repressed. Abby almost dropped the machine, but Rachel grabbed it from her as she ran to her friends with no hesitation. She held them and kissed them as the tears continued to fall. Eventually, she called Rachel over to join them, who while hesitant, eventually agreed.

And for a moment, just a moment, everything was perfect.

"I still don't believe it!" Wally announced pacing around the room. "How could Numbuh 1 just get rid of the Kids Next Door?! Those aliens must've brainwashified him!"

Kuki jumped up. "Poor Mushi! Out there all alone with those mean Adults! We have to do something!"

"Uh, yeah I don't think you have to worry about Mushi," Hoagie said, leaning against the window. "Actually, if we were able to hack decommissioning, undoing the brainwashing might be easier than we thought. I hate to say it, but Father could be the least of our problems."

"If the G:KND really does have Khlorophill mines," Rachel explained. "They must be readying themselves for war."

"So maybe Nigel just wanted Earth out of it," Abby thought. "To protect us from gettin' in the cross-fire."

"That sounds like him alright," Wally said. "Always tryin'ta do everything himself. Not tellin' us nothin'."

"True, but that's assuming that there is no aging virus," Rachel reminded her. "Which we don't actually have proof of. I mean, aging exists so it has to be caused by something."

"If there is an aging virus, it can't be transmitted through the air, can it? Otherwise they couldn't've kept Numbuh 1 out there at all. They wouldn't've even come to Earth to begin with. They wouldn't risk it," Hoagie said. "Something's fishy about this whole thing and it ain' t sushi."

"It ain't sush—" Abby turned to him. "What does that even mean?"

Rachel paced. "Ugh...there's too much information. Nothing's fitting together!" She slammed her hands at the back of the captain's chair. "Here's what we know. Both the G:KND and the AAA are collecting Khlorophill...we don't know what they plan to do with it, if they plan on doing anything at all. From what we understand about the aging virus, it isn't transmitted through the air. If Numbuh 2 is right, it's most likely genetic. So why the quarantine? And why would Nigel buy such a ridiculous cover-up story?"

Wally nodded. "Brainwashed."

"I mean, what wouldn't Numbuh 1 buy, though?" Kuki teased.

"Numbuh 362, Sir," Abby stepped forward. "We need to focus on our planet right now. We have children in prisons across the world. Whatever is goin' on with Nigel and this...other stuff...those kids are our priority."

"You came all this way thinking Numbuh 1 would help us," Hoagie said to Abby. "Do you still think he will?"

She clutched the glasses at her chest. "I don't know. I don't know who he is anymore, or if he even still cares about Earth the way he used to. But I know that if he's in trouble, it's our job as his friends to save him. Even from himself." She flipped her hat around. "And if we end up savin' the Universe, well, Numbuh 5's cool with that."

"Alright!" Wally's fist flew into the air. "Sector V is back in action! Ready to kick some Alien butt!"

"Line up, Soldiers!" Rachel announced. The team did as ordered. "This is going to be one of the most important missions of our lives. More important than the time Father took over the KND. More important than saving the world from Grandfather and his Senior Citi-zombies. Even more important than getting the Delightful Children's yumilicious birthday cake." She folded her arms behind her back. "We are about to infiltrate the most powerful and heavily-guarded facility in the known Universe. And we may have less than eight hours to do it. It won't be easy, but if we succeed, we will not only save the Earth, its children, and our Kids Next Door...we will save our friend. Numbuh 4, you're on weapons. You see a threat, you shoot it down."

"What I was born to do," Wally beamed.

"Numbuh 3, I need you to navigate the rear. We'll need at least two pairs of eyes back there."

"You got it!" she saluted.

"Numbuh 2?" She turned the chair around. "You think you can pilot this thing?"

He smirked. "You bet your sweet ass I can." There was a long uncomfortable pause. "S-Sir."

She turned to Abby. "That leaves you and me."

"Doin' what?"

She sighed. "Whatever's necessary." She saluted to the team, and they responded in kind. "Sector V, I'm counting on you. Retrieve our code module, find the truth, and bring Nigel home. Kids Next Door..."

Not a single pin-drop was heard as they waited.

"Battle stations!"

The last time Hoagie P. Gilligan Jr. stepped on a spaceship was the day he left the Kids Next Door. After his father passed, his mother tried desperately to get him to stay home from his missions, hiding his gear, giving him endless chores around the house, and then of course there was his grandmother. But Hoagie still managed to sneak out. It was his obligation as the leader of Sector V to be available at all times. Even if he hadn't promised to be there for his team, he could never stop flying. Soaring above the clouds, above his problems and fears, it was the only thing keeping him going. In the end, that itself wasn't enough. He remembered that final voyage, alone in the cockpit of his own plane, which could convert brilliantly from a jet-like transport to a full-blow spaceship. The sky was a bit hazy over the blue ridge mountains that day, a silvering mist dancing in the swirl of autumn colors. Weather often didn't matter to him, unless the wind was too fierce, or he was caught in a storm. Even still, it was all beautiful to a pilot.

Back then he thought maybe he would fly all the way to the end of the world. That he could open the roof, unlatch himself, and fall into the sky.

He ran his hand over the metal controls, a resonance returning to him. Nestling into the chair, it fit perfectly. He remembered so many voyages, so many missions, but the only one that came to his mind now was that final trek, the territory from which he believed he would never return. Yet here he was in the pilot's seat once again.

"You need a crash-course?" Abby leaned over the top of the captain's chair.

His chest puffed up as he grinned. "I'll have you know cobwebs and I don't share the same crawlspace." He stretched up. "It's all instinct, Numbuh 5. You never forget how to fly. It becomes a part of you. Just like walking."

She peeked around. "Is that confidence or cockiness?"

"It's fact," he said.

"Ah. So you ain't nervous at all?"

"Psh," he shrugged, holding the controls and looking out into space. "I thought I hadn't been on a plane since my Dad was...I spent years thinking I never flew one." He inhaled, settling into the seat. "Sitting here almost feels like I never left. It's so weird. Good but...weird."

"This is the closest thing to a time machine we're gonna get."

"I guess so," he said. "But if it's a time machine you want, all you have to do is look out that window."

Abby didn't say anything, clearly not understanding where he was coming from.

"It takes years, sometimes centuries for a star's light to reach our point in the universe. When we look at the light from the stars, we're looking into the past. The light can even reach us even when the star itself has expired."

"You tryn'a be clever?"

"Memories are like starlight. They exist...long after we've passed."

"Do you ever just...say stuff? Without metaphors?"

"He hasn't forgotten you, Numbuh 5," Hoagie finally made himself clear. "Your light will reach him. Maybe not right away, but it will. I know it."

"You're so sure?" she half-teased. But he could tell something in her was uncertain.

"It found us." He smiled. "And we were much, much further away."

He heard her breath catch itself.

"You were wrong, you know," Abby finally said.

"What? I'm never wrong."

She leaned around the chair, whispering into his ear. "Leaders do fly their own ships."

Hoagie rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, well, not this time..." He winked. "Sir."

"Stop it. You know Numbuh 5 hates that."

"Does she, though?"

Abby kicked his seat. "Shut up and fly."

Hoagie adjusted his hat and goggles, sitting up. "Hang on to your underwear," he said, flirtatiously. After a while, no one moved. "But seriously, you might want to hang on to something."

"Right."

"Everyone strap in!" He called, and they followed his order. "This one's gonna be the ride of a lifetime." Once everyone was seated, Hoagie exhaled, staring out into space. "Just like walking," he whispered.

The ship twisted and turned through the asteroid belt at full-speed. It was a larger ship than he was accustomed to, but it wasn't so large that he couldn't navigate it. A thrill overtook him as he thrust forward, circling around floating rock in a cosmic dance between mankind and the elements of creation itself. But Hoagie wasn't thinking. In fact, for once, his brain turned completely off. He was running on instinct, and as long as he didn't doubt himself, they would be fine. However, after years and years of doubting, not-doubting did not come as easily.

"Numbuh 3! Numbuh 4! I need you on the cannons!" He shouted. "We gotta blast through some of these smaller, faster rocks."

"You got it!" Kuki said, spinning around in her chair.

"Fucking finally," Wally agreed.

"Numbuh 5, Numbuh 362, you think you can monitor those screens for blind spots?"

"What do you mean, do you think you can?" Abby griped.

Hoagie groaned. "Sorry. Will you monitor the screens for blind spots?"

Abby nodded. "That's what I thought you said."

Not only did he have to guide them through the asteroids, but also all the wayward ships that had crashed in that area. They had been floating through it for quite some time, but the ships were still out there, accumulated over millions if not billions and trillions of years. It made things interesting, as some of the debris that was cast out into space came from those ships. Still, Wally and Kuki were consistently hitting their targets, and everything was going smoothly.

However, without warning the ship lurched forward, forced slightly off-course.

"What was that?!" Hoagie called.

"Uh..." Wally called. "We might have a problem."

"What kind of problem?" An annoyed Abby asked, not wanting to know the answer.

"I think some of these things aren't asteroids!" Wally said. "I shot at one of them, and it exploded! That's why we were set off course."

"Great job, Numbuh 4!" Kuki shouted. "You shot at a bomb!" She slammed her fingers on the trigger without thinking, and the ship jerked the other way. "Oopise."

"Ha!"

"Okay can we please stop joltin' the ship around please?!" Abby cried out.

"Why would kids plant bombs? That's not like them." Rachel held on to the shaking ship. "They don't use weapons that can actually cause serious damage!"

"Crud!" Wally clamored.

"We're gonna crash and die!" Kuki whined.

"This...is...Fantastic!" Hoagie exclaimed.

"Come again?"

"Guys don't shoot anything until I say, okay?" He said. "Oh-ho. This just got fun."

"I dunno what 'fun' means to you, but this is not Numbuh 5's idea of it!" Abby snapped.

"We're going to use the momentum of the explosions to accelerate faster!" He shouted. "The faster we move, the more we can avoid the lazars."

"What lazars?!" Wally cried, only to be met with a bright light streaking across his screen. "Why does this always happen to us?!"

"We've reached the first line of security!" Hoagie said. "Numbuh 4! Shoot it now!"

The blaster shot at the bomb, causing the ship to steer to the side, avoiding another floating rock. After that, it was like a rollercoaster ride, ping-ponging through the obstacles with grace as well as speed. Hoagie leaned over the controls, feeling the thrill of the ride coursing through his entire body. They avoided most of the lazar beams and all of the rocks. Soon there were no more ships, simply the clear star-speckled vacuum of space.

Almost.

One last asteroid, this one bigger than all the others, came barreling through. And now that they had gained so much momentum and no longer had the bombs to rocket them off-course. They were headed straight for it.

"Numbuh 2...!" Abby called.

But he leaned into the speed.

"Oh you can't be serious. Do not tell me you are flyin' straight toward that thing! This is not the time to be showin' off!"

"Centripetal force," he said.

"Centripetawhaa?" Wally asked.

"Hang on!"

He dove the ship downward. The asteroid, which was moving toward the ship, was getting closer.

"Come on, come on, come on," he prayed.

Right as the ship reached the base of the asteroid, he cut the engine and allowed the ship to move just from the momentum it had built. The ship skated along the base of the asteroid, following its momentum up and around in a perfect circle. And just before it reached the exact position, Hoagie turned back on the engine and punched the ship out into space like a skipping rock.

"Ha-ha! Did you see that?!" He spun around in his chair. "The King of the Skies is back, Baby! I would like to see the Kid do something like that! Whoo, Mama! That was hot!"

He checked on the others, who were all dizzy.

"G-Good job Numbuh 2..." Kuki gave him a thumbs up.

Abby was the first to get up, walking to the window. "I remember this," she said. Her finger traced along the sky-map. "The S.L.I.N.G.S.H.O.T."

Rachel joined. "I can't believe we made it. I've never been able to get a ship through the graveyard." She looked at Hoagie. "Very impressive."

Hoagie beamed.

Wally was next to go to the window. "Is that it?" he asked. "That big block thing?"

"It's a Rubik's cube," Hoagie said.

The five were all at the window now, staring out into space. In front of them was a block the size of a small planet, getting closer. Ships were moving in and out of it. Large and small, moving through to the portal. It was shaped in a cube, with blocks moving around on their own, lighting up as they did so in bright neon.

"Do we have camouflage on this ship?" Abby asked.

Hoagie did some tinkering. "Looks like it."

"It's gihugic!" Kuki exclaimed. "Like a dance club in the sky!"

"I've plugged into the schematics I saved from my own ship," Rachel said. "There's a map on there that can lead us directly to Quarantine. But in terms of getting inside, there's no way to do that without overriding the security system. There's only one I know who has made it through to the blocks. If we fail, security will be activated, and we'll be flung back to the graveyard."

"So we have to solve the cube?" Abby asked.

"In order to gain access to the full-security override," Rachel explained. "Yeah. You gotta solve the cube."

"That sounds hard," Kuki complained.

"Can't we just follow a ship through a path that is already made?" Wally asked.

"You can't. The gate will not open for more than one ship at a time and the sensors will know you're there. And you can't get access without a permit."

"So how do we solve it?" Abby asked.

"You gotta play the game."

"Game!" Wally perked up. "Now we're talkin'!"

Abby smirked. "Well, Numbuh 5 ain't too shabby with Rubik's cube. This shouldn't be too hard."

But Rachel sighed. "It's not that kind of game."

R

DO YOU WANT TO PLAY?

YES - NO

The ship was parked in the red-zone of the cube. A screen had appeared on the front of the window, becoming a game screen. They all put on their glasses, so they could read the text, Rachel getting Hoagie's other pair which were way too big for her face.

"Galactic Warrior?" Kuki questioned. "Aren't these just tech nerds?"

"They probably created the game to keep things entertaining," Hoagie said. "Even kids in paradise have to do things they don't want to do sometimes."

Wally grinned, pushing himself to the front. "A video game, huh?" He cracked his knuckles. "Step away, Numbuh 2. This one's all mine."

"You sure about this?" Abby asked.

"Are you kidding? Most of all I've done since I turned thirteen was play video games," Wally said confidently.

"It's true," Kuki confirmed with slight grievance. "Even more than he practices his guitar and works on his bike."

"Aww," He blushed. "Thanks, Sheila."

"Okay, Baby," Abby put her hands on his shoulders. "Let's see what you got."

Wally touched the "YES" button on the screen and a controller materialized. It was a simple one with not too many buttons, which was a relief to everyone who was worried there would be some convoluted trick to all of this. The welcome screen shifted screens, a lazar scanning over the teenagers. Four helmets also materialized as the screen flashed again.

SELECT YOUR AVATARS

"Huh," Wally read the instructions.

Hoagie peered over his shoulder. "Looks like we all have to play," he said.

"How is that? There's only four helmets," Abby noticed.

"One bloke controls the game," Wally explained. "The others gotta play from the ground."

Abby rolled her eyes. "Great."

"Looks easy," Wally said, flipping through the instructional images. "There's one disc per team. The goal is to get it to the center of the grid. That's this maze-thing. You do that, we're in."

"Alright. Numbuhs 5, 3, and 2, suit up," Rachel said. "We're going in."

"Waaait!" Kuki waved her hands in the air. "Before we go any further! There's something we need to do!" She whispered in Wally's ear, then Hoagie's, and though at first, they were hesitant, eventually they agreed.

"Who has it?" Kuki asked.

"I gave it to you," Hoagie said.

"I have it," Wally said, pulling a small brown cake wrapped in plastic.

"Why do you have it?" Hoagie asked.

"Let's not talk about that..." Wally said.

Kuki took the cake and held it out to Abby. "Numbuh 5, we want to thank you for everything you have done for us. And to show our appreciation and love for you, we all agreed," she sniffled, bowing and offering the sweet. "To give you the last chocolate cupcake."

"Uh..." Abby took it. "Thanks."

She held her chest, trying not to choke up. "It's worth the sacrifice." She eyed the boys. "I would've won."

Hoagie huffed. "In your dreams, Sweet Cheeks."

"In your dreams, dough ball!" she quipped back.

"Okay, we done?" Rachel broke it up. "Everyone happy? Good. Moving on."

Wally settled into the Captain's chair as the others put on the helmets. He was given a headset to communicate with. "Alright," he said.

"Let's play."

The virtual world was a grid-map, glowing bright red with a black background. In Kuki's hand was a disc that was a luminescent white. Each of the players were given a vehicle similar to the ones on Bacchanus. Blue bikes to match their blue suits. The four stepped onto the grid, ready to play.

"Can you guys hear me?"

"Hi Wally!" Kuki waved her hand, jumping up and down. "Can you see me? Don't I look adorable!"

"We hear you, Numbuh 4," Rachel said. "Awaiting instructions."

"You guys gotta get to the center. I'll lead you there."

Walls rose up, all the way to the ceiling.

The players mounted their vehicles.

5...4...3...2...1

START

At first everyone went in the same direction, but it became clear that this was only the beginning. It was Kuki who noticed there was a gun on the side of her vehicle, telling the others. Music began to echo out, a synth-wave techno-beat, skipping every so often intentionally. It was like the first level of a game, the enemies were minor and easily taken out, lazars easily avoidable. A smooth sail – until it wasn't anymore. The walls soon separated into four distinct pathways, all of which Wally had to navigate.

"Looks like the more players the harder the game," Rachel said.

"Maybe because only one of us needs to actually make it to the end," Kuki said.

"So long as the disc gets to the middle," Wally explained. "We win."

"Then let's win," Rachel said.

Hoagie was looking at his own screen. "We can transfer the disc back and forth during open areas of the walls when we can see each other," he said. "Kuki, you can pass it on if you want."

"I got it!" She shouted as she popped a wheelie and zoomed into the far-left entrance.

Wally guided them each through their section of the Maze, now getting into a rhythm. However, just as he was getting used to it, the walls began to rotate.

"Uhh...Wally..." Kuki said as she found herself trapped. "Wally the wall is closing in! What do I do?!"

"Pass the disc!" He shouted. "You're movin' away from the center now, we gotta keep it moving forward no matter what!"

"Numbuh 3!" Hoagie waved at her through an open part of the wall. She nodded and threw him the disc, which he caught.

"Alright," he said. "So that's the deal, huh?"

"Everybody pay attention," Wally said over the speaker. "Don't throw it until I say so."

Hoagie moved with the disc for a while, avoiding the sides of the walls smashing down. Then, the red lights began to flash, and behind him two red bikes arrived from around the corner.

"Aw, man!" he swerved to get away from them. "Numbuh 4!"

"You can keep the disc on your back," Wally said. "But if you do that and get crushed, it's game over, Mate."

"Got it," he said, attaching the disc behind him. "Hey, even though we're in a life-or-death situation, this is kinda fun." He grinned.

He managed to swerve again, taking down the two bikes. It wasn't long before two more just like it came from the side.

"Man. Talk about a vicious cycle," he said, laughing to himself.

He could hear Abby groaning over the speaker.

Then, two more coming the other way, towards him.

"Uh, you guys..." He said. "I can't pass. I don't see an opening." He gulped. "There's too many of them! What do I do?"

"You can stand back, Baby," Abby's voice said. "And let the pros handle this." He looked over his head as a bike with massive air came over him, her tongue sticking out at him. While in the air, she shot the two bikes down. "Whoo! Yeah! How you like me now!"

Her bike turned around, headin' for him. "I'll take that," she said as Hoagie passed her the disc.

"Numbuh 5! Get back in your lane before it closes!" Wally shouted.

Abby saluted, scooting back through the opening.

Abby's challenge was different. She had used the moving floor to get air, finding a secret entry point into Hoagie's lane and back. A glitch, or maybe it was a good strategy. Now, she had to move the bike over ramps and ditches, avoiding patches of red on the ground.

"If you hit one of those red things, you're out," Wally told her. "There's a huge patch of it comin' up you gotta jump over it!"

Abby nodded, finding a long ramp to build momentum. A wave of red cascaded behind her, washing out everything in its path. She increased her speed and took the leap. Beautifully gliding through the air, she focused on the one spot she could land and prayed.

Bam! The bike hit the grid, skidding off. Then, the opening appeared.

"It's all you, Sir!" Abby said as she threw the disc to Rachel.

"Good work, Soldier!" Rachel said, putting the disc on her back. But as Rachel moved through her track, which previously forced her to scoot around closing walls in perfect time, everything began to go smooth. A little too smooth.

"No, no no. What?!" Wally cried. "Come on!"

"What is it?" Kuki asked.

"The disc is movin' away from the center!" he called. "Sir, you gotta turn around! You're gonna hit the wall!"

But Rachel stayed on target. "Numbuh 4, you know the thing about mazes?" she said. "The long way is almost always the right way."

"Sir!"

Rachel's eyes narrowed on the upcoming wall. "Come on..."

Then, a glitch. The wall became see-through. "Numbuh 4!"

"Go now!" he shouted. "Go! Go! Go!"

Rachel jumped her bike to make it go faster, zipping into the opening. As soon as she entered, the red lights went out, the wall sealing behind her. And it wasn't just her. All of the vehicles slowed down, the game shutting off. She stepped on the grid pattern as it lit up in white. There was a rising box on the other end of the long room, with a hole in the center.

"Looks like that's it," Rachel said.

The walls of the maze started to close in. A timer for five minutes flashed on Wally's screen, as well as Rachel's

"Numbuh 4..." Kuki called, moving away from the enclosing walls.

"Run, Sir!"

Rachel noticed the data falling behind her into an abyss and started sprinting. As she ran, giant walls arose from the grid, trying to block her, but ramps also rose for her to run and leap over. She sprinted as her team cheered her on, ducking and avoiding the collapsing grid.

3 minutes.

2 minutes.

1 minute, remaining.

A wall slowly lowered in front of her and she increased speed. Holding her breath, she slid beneath the wall as it crashed behind her, shattering everything behind it.

"Hurry up!"

Crawling up into the square, she inserted the disc. It lit up.

MISSION COMPLETE

YOU ARE A GALACTIC WARRIOR

Back on the ship, the helmets were removed, the four teenagers out of breath.

"And you thought I was just good a dodgeball," Wally grinned.

"That...was awesome," Hoagie said, high fiveing his best friend.

They looked at each other for a while before Hoagie awkwardly retracted his hands, his smile leaving him.

"N-Numbuh 4, I...About what what I...what I mean is...You deserve some kinda explanation..."

Wally put a firm hand on his shoulder. "You don't have to say anything," he said. "It's all in the past."

Hoagie's relieved smile returned. "Really?"

"Yeah, mate." He was warm and sincere. "Really."

"We did it?" Abby asked. "We're in?"

The screen was flooded with schematics and diagrams, projecting all over the area.

Rachel nodded. "We're in."

"That wasn't so hard," Kuki said before collapsing to the floor. "I'm not tired...I'm just...really excited..."

Hoagie went back to the chair to get a closer look at the computer. "We can do literally anything from here. Make any announcement, open any door."

With a few simple clicks, the wall of the cube opened, revealing the stary sky once again.

"Okay, Numbuh 3, this is it," Abby said. "If this don't work, I dunno know what we're gonna do."

"Oh, it'll work, Numbuh 5," Kuki grinned. "Trust me. When have I ever been wrong?"

"Um..." Abby didn't want to answer that.

"I've never ever had this trick not work," Kuki said confidently. "This way the mission will be easy squeezy!"

"Sure, it might get rid of some of the Kids," Abby thought aloud. "But all of them?"

"Have a little faith!" she sang. "I learned it from the best, after all."

Abby scratched her head. "Well, the best ain't been doin' the best lately," she admitted.

"Okay!" Kuki ignored her. "Numbuh 2, be ready with that password as soon as the coast is clear."

"Serves them right for givin' us a S.L.I.N.G.S.H.O.T. and then sendin' ships into asteroids," Wally said.

Rachel smiled. "I am in love with this plan. Sweet, sweet revenge."

"What should I change the password to?" Hoagie asked. Kuki skipped over to him, leaning in and whispering something in his ear. He let out a dirty, salacious laugh. "Oh...oh that's good."

"They'll never guess it!"

But Rachel was skeptical. "Are you sure?"

"Let's see," She went over to Rachel, whispering the same thing into her ear.

Rachel had a blank expression. "I don't get it."

Kuki skipped around. "Yep! They'll never guess it! Ready, everyone?" Kuki addressed the team. "This operation is now being taken over by Numbuh 3! The cutest member of Sector V! No offense, Wallybear."

"Huh?"

"Does anyone have any questions?"

Wally raised his hand. "Can I go pee?"

"Boy, you just went pee," Abby said.

"I know but I gotta go again."

"I always have to pee before a mission," Hoagie confessed. "It's a nervous habit."

Abby rolled her eyes. "Do not say that stuff out loud where Numbuh 5 can hear it."

"Hey, Numbuh 3..." Hoagie called her over. "Will this work?" He showed her the screen.

"Just fine, my nerdy friend. That will be just fine," she tried to act cool, but on the inside, she was exploding with excitement.

"Hello out there all you Galactic Kids! Today is your lucky day! We are offering a free ice cream social on the planet Aqueous! First one hundred Kids get an extra scoop! What are we celebrating? Who cares! It's ice cream! And it's free!" Kuki sang over the intercom while a recorded jingle played over her.

"Isn't all ice cream free out here?" Hoagie asked Wally.

He shrugged.

"But it's only today! So come on down!"

"It's her classic move," Abby said, proudly.

They waited for a while. At first there was nothing, but after a while a ship came through, zooming to the exit. Then another. Then another. Soon, huge waves of spacecrafts were crowding each other trying to get to the exit. The teenagers watched in shock. It took a long time but eventually all of the ships dispersed, leaving the area completely abandoned.

"I cannot believe that worked," Abby muttered in disbelief.

"Hey! You said it would work!" Kuki whined. "My plans always work!"

"Yeah but..." She gazed around the area. "This is kinda sad."

Kuki grinned. "Yes! I'm a genius!" she danced around. "Genius! Genius! I'm a real genius!" She went to go hug her boyfriend out of habit but found herself awkwardly backtracking at the last second. And he was similarly shy with her.

"We have until those Kids guess the password to get the code module and find Numbuh 1," Rachel said. "Who knows if they're even remotely close to each other."

"According to this, all the DNA is located in one spot..." Hoagie said. "And if I can...just..." He licked his lips as he swiped through the screens. "Yep. Hang on."

"Not again—"

The ship zipped through space to the exact coordinates in seconds.

Hoagie nodded, everyone else feeling nauseous. "Thank you, lazy Kids."

"How about a warning, next time?" Abby berated him.

"S-Sorry."

They pulled up to a treehouse, or at least it looked like a treehouse, but it wasn't like any tree they had ever seen on earth. Crystal fractals hung from its branches, the trunk the size of a grand palace. They parked the ship right at the base of the tree.

"Okay, guys, here's the plan," Rachel said. "Numbuh 3 and Numbuh 4 come inside with me to get the code module. If all goes well, we should be in and out quickly. We have to do this fast so no time for dilly dallying, okay?"

"Ooh! Look at the colors!" Kuki gasped.

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Numbuh 5, you know Numbuh 1 the best. I'm leaving it up to you to find him. Numbuh 2, you stay here on the ship and find out as much as you can about what these guys are planning. Stay on the lookout in case the kids hack their way back in. All of you, your memories might last, they might not. We need to be prepared either way."

"Then I think Numbuh 5 should stay on the ship for a bit," Hoagie said. "Cause if I can't fly it and something happens, we need to be able to get out of here." He twiddled his thumbs. "I mean, if that's a good idea."

"Long as you don't do nothin' embarrassing."

"Me? Embarrassing!" he gasped. "How rude. I mean, the thought!"

Abby slapped him lightly on the back with her hat.

"I'll teach her how to leap," he said. "You can only do it short distances, but if we're gonna find Numbuh 1 it's gonna be important."

"Don't look that hard."

"Everyone good on the plan?"

"Yes, Sir!" They all saluted.

"It's crunch time, people," Rachel said. "Let's save Earth and get the heck outta here."

"So that's how you do it," Abby said, leaning over the screen. "You know, this tech stuff ain't so hard. I dunno why you nerds take it so seriously..."

Her voice was fading out. Hoagie was still, his ears perked. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. He didn't know where the sound was coming from, but he didn't dare ask. Numbuh 5 would have his hide for this, he knew it. Just don't say anything, he thought. Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud. He didn't want to look at it. In the corner, the walls were already starting to droop, strange shapes and patterns were appearing. Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! The hairs on the back of his neck rose.

Numbuh 5 was still talking.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

He couldn't stop himself. He his eyes moved their way behind him. Just a peek. She wouldn't notice. Just one look...

"Numbuh 2?"

BANG! BANG! BANG!

"Numbuh 2."

Snap! Snap! Snap! Snap!

"Hey."

The banging stopped. He shook himself awake.

"Yep. That's exactly how you do it. You are a pro-fessión-al."

"You scared Numbuh 5's gonna surpass you," she teased.

"Uh-huh," he said, not listening again.

Snap!

"Ah! What?!" He jolted awake again.

Abby got close to his face, examining his eyes. "Are you high?"

He scoffed. "Pffft. Yeah."

Her face hardened.

"Oops."

She seethed. "Numbuh 2..."

"So there's maybe like a 33.3% chance the Cinnamon could cause hallucinations. It's not a real big percentage."

She grabbed his collar. "Don't front. You're trippin' right now, aren't you?"

Hoagie tried to keep a straight face. "Uh...I don't know what you're talking about."

BANG! BANG BANG!

His body seized up as he finally turned around, getting out of his chair. There was nothing there.

"I knew it. I knew usin' the Spice was a bad idea! We wasted all that time...and Henrietta...and Maurice...and you!" Abby fumed. "Oh, I don't even know what to say to you!"

"How about, thank you?" he said. "Thank you, Numbuh 2, for getting my team back so I can save my best friend and the world. I'm so happy. Yay." He waited, but her expression did not change. "Or not yay."

"Definitely not yay."

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

Hoagie's breath got shorter. "Hey, you wanna hear a joke?"

"What? No!"

"What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?"

"Dammit."

"Well, that was close," he tried again. "D-Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta-way."

Silent glare.

"You're not laughing...okay...uh..."

"Numbuh 2."

"Wanna watch the kids ping-pong across the Universe? It's really fun."

"You knew this could happen, and you still went through with it? I cannot believe you!"

"Yep, me neither," he said. "That's what I get for trying to spice up our lives."

Abby pulled out the walkie-talkie Rachel had given her and the others to keep in contact.

"Sir. We got a problem."

Somewhere inside the giant tree, Rachel replied.

"You don't have to tell me," she said.

Kuki's cheeks were red from the amount of pressure she was putting into them. "Woow! This place is sooo cool!" she went on. "Wally look..." Her hands moved through the air. "Rainbow Monkeys..."

Rachel held her hands over her head. "This is a disaster."

"You're not her boyfriend," Wally replied.

"Not what I meant."

"Kuki..." Wally tried to drag his girlfriend away from the walls. "Come on. Quit messin' around."

"Stop!" She shook him off. "You're ruining it!"

"Numbuh 3...we're on a cruddy mission," he pulled her as she resisted. "We are not...here...for...fun..."

She blew a raspberry. "You don' like anything I like," she slurred.

"Kuki for the last time. I'm a boy. I like boy things."

"That's such a gender stereotype," she said. "You know, you act all progressive and stuff, but deep down, Wally, you're kind of a square."

"A square? What is this, the seventies?" he scoffed. "You want me to be groovy man? Far out."

"You're not far-out. You're far-in."

"What does that mean?"

"Do I need to spell it out for you? Okay. Het-er-o-norm-a-tive. There. I said it and I meant it," she crossed her arms.

"You guys," Rachel stepped between them. "I know you aren't yourselves right now, but we really, really can't do this right now."

But Wally waved her off. "Buzz off, Numbuh 362. This is our treehouse. Okay? B-Buzz off."

"Oh god. This is bad."

"You are a white heteronormative man-child." She crossed her arms. "And...I'm just gonna say how I feel cuz...it's how I feel."

"I have been a good ally. A great ally, actually." Now his words were starting to slur as well. "I went to all the protests, I signed all the petitions, and done the parades. I don't like parades, but I went to the parades. And that should count."

"I made sacrifices...for you...," Kuki whined. "You know I'll never kissa girl in my life now. Never-ever."

"You don't need to kiss a girl just cuz you like them."

"Ever since I got into this relationship it's been Wally and Kuki, Kuki and Wally, all the time. What about Kuki, huh? What about just Kuki? What about her dreams? Her needs? We made a whole plan around me being some nurse and at first that was nice but I don't wanna be a nurse on a tour bus! I wanna be a star on the tour bus! And I'm tired of selling myself short!"

"Then don't be a nurse. I never said you had to be a nurse."

She sighed. "When I thought you were gonna die...I realized you are my whole world! And I thought it would be romantic, but it's not. It terrifies me."

Wally stopped. "Well it's not just about you, is it?" he said. "I don't even recognize myself now. Who is this person who's lovey-dovey all the time? I used to be tough and cool, and now I'm just...a boyfriend. Do you know how gross it is to be a boyfriend?"

"Please don't do this right now," Rachel begged.

"And now...I can't even...think about it. Cause if I think about it, it just gets weird."

"What's weird?"

"You and me! That's weird!"

"How is it weird?"

"We had sex!"

Rachel decided to sit down.

"Many, many times!" he heaved. "And now I got all these memories I didn't used to have, and all I can see is you as a little girl. I can't have sex with a little girl. That is not okay. How am I gonna go back now? It's too weird!"

"I am not a little girl."

"Sometimes you are."

"Sometimes you're a little boy."

"Maybe we shouldn't have sex at all then! Then you can kiss all the girls you want!"

"Maybe I will!"

"Yeah, do it."

"Fine."

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

The turned their backs to each other.

Rachel hoped that Abby was having an easier time of things.

Hoagie leaned over himself, unable to stop from laughing. He held his stomach, his cheeks flushed and ruddy. He had officially hit his peak. Abby watched as he lost it, and part of himself, knowing that until this passed they weren't going to get anything done.

"And then...I put on the jet pack..." he snickered. "Cause that was the line from the show!"

"Yep. I got it the first three times." That didn't stop him from snorting. "It's not that funny."

"It's so funny..." When Abby didn't respond, he sat up. "That's right, you only like Nigel butt jokes," he said, still in a fit, especially after hearing the word butt. "That was the only way I could ever make you laugh."

"Don't even try it. I'm still mad at you."

Hoagie snickered, scooching close to her. "Nigel's butt's so big, it needs its own spotlight."

Abby couldn't stop herself. She cracked a smile. "Nigel's butt's so big," she responded. "When people see it they think they landed on Mars."

Hoagie chortled. "Cause it's got two moons..."

"Yeah." Abby finally laughed.

"Nigel's butt's so big that once he fell down and said: Good thing someone left this pillow here!"

Abby nudged him. "Nigel's ass is so white, it colonized Africa."

"Nigel's ass is so white it thinks cumin is spicy."

"Nigel's ass is so white it watches Real Housewives of Orange County and finds it relatable."

"Oh no!" Hoagie grabbed his goggles. "That's awful!"

"You started it!"

He kicked his feet. "It's so funny..." he said, catching his breath. "It's funny cause...Cause I actually really thought you were gone...for real..." He started to laugh again but Abby relaxed. "Like I actually thought that you had joined the TEENZ."

Abby shrank into herself. "I should've told you."

But he remained perky. "Nonononono. It was perfect." He drew a picture with his hands. "Like the cherry on top of the shit sundae that was my childhood. You thought there was at least a little hope but surprise! It's all shit. Even the cherry is made of shit. Best punchline ever."

Abby just sat quietly, not sure what to say back.

"That's what I like about kids. They always think they're happy. Even if they're not happy, they're happy cause they don't know. They don't know anything. Life's a shit sundae. But they don't know that. They don't know what chocolate is. Cause it's just shit, and they don't know what shit is, cause everyone told them it was chocolate. But that's it. Life's a bitch and then you die." He stared at his feet. "Life's a bitch and then your dad dies. Life's a bitch and then you wake up one morning in a hospital bed wondering if it would've been better if you hadn't woken up at all. It's funny."

"I don't think it's funny."

"I mean you could'a lived here! In paradise! With Numbuh 1 forever. And you didn't..." He laughed, pointing to himself. "Cause'a me. Cause I can't keep my stupid ass out of trouble, that's what you always said. And now you're miserable. You thought you ruined my life, but I actually ruined yours! It's hilarious!"

"Numbuh 2, I wanted to stay on Earth. I like it there. I feel...needed there. I never felt that way here. I chose to stay. You did not ruin my life."

"Maybe not," he said. "But I ruined mine." He sighed, lowering his legs. "I made it a joke. That's why it's funny. Because if it isn't, then it's just...pathetic." He laughed a little too hard. "I'm pathetic. And now I've ruined it. I've ruined everything. Classic me."

"I'm not mad about the Spice, okay? I know why you did it," she finally said. "I'm mad because I ain't stupid. I know there's stuff you ain't tellin' me, that you never told me, and I got an inkling'a what it could be but...somehow, I missed it. It keeps staring me in the face, but I keep missin' it. And it makes me feel some kinda way I can't explain."

"There's nothing to miss."

She scoffed. "You've been pretendin' like everything's back to normal, but I know that ain't true. And so do you." She jumped off the platform. "You don't have to act like nothin's changed, when it has. I don't need you to give me some performance of what you think I want to see. That's not what friendship is."

"Numbuh 5, you don't want the truth, okay?" he said bluntly. "You want things to go back to how they were. With Numbuh 1 and the others all together and happy like old times. That's what you want. That's what you told me you wanted."

"And then I told you it didn't matter."

"Oh, come on. I worked my ass off to get this far. We stole the recommissioning module to get back to square one. So we could get our memories, right? Well, they're back, Numbuh 5! We're here! So, why! Why are you still not happy!"

"Because you're not happy!" she shouted back.

"Look at this world I built for you!" he got off the counter. "I built it for us. For our team. For me! And I crafted it so delicately and I made very detail perfect and it's dreamy and magical and it's fun. So what if it's a lie? That's what this is! A lie. Nothing but lies on top of lies on top of lies and I thought you accepted it. That's why we decommission people in the first place. To preserve the lie."

"And what good has that done anyone?" she defended. "Just lying, lying, lying all the time. Smilin' on the outside, dyin' on the inside. I don't want that. I don't want what happened with Numbuh 1 and me to happen to us. I've seen the dark. I can handle it. You're not protecting me from anything!"

"You don't want the truth and even if you did, I wouldn't give it to you. Cause you know why? I don't get to live in this world I made. I have to live with my own shitty sundae while everyone else is eating chocolate and that's fine. I made this mask, so you could look at it. I made this world, so you could live in it. And I am never going to let anyone take that away from me! It is all I have! This lie is all we have left of childhood. You of all people, Numbuh 5, you should understand!"

"That's not what you told me," she said. "You told me living in the past was a mistake. You said—"

"That was before."

"Before what?"

"Before I remembered!" he snapped. "Before I found the light, the one thing in my past worth preserving, and you want me to go back into the darkness? So I can be authentic? Fuck that! I'm not going back, Abby!"

Abby knew he was serious then. Never, not ever, when they were in the KND together, did he call her by her name.

"You can't keep this up. You will break. Hoagie. Listen to me," she tried to calm him, to no avail. "It doesn't have to be me, okay? It doesn't. But if you think our childhood was only worthwhile if it's a perfect fantasy, then you're wrong! Because it's not! If that's what we've been doin' this whole time, we've been doin' it wrong. This cannot be what you want, Baby."

He was out of breath, his cheeks puffed up like pastry. "The truth would destroy everything."

Abby went to him, her voice gentle. "Maybe it's time we let it."

"No, you don't—" He sighed. "I mean...everything."

He held his arm, wincing. He rolled up the sleeve of his coat, but it was too tight to go over his arm, so he slipped it off. He padded his arm.

"Shit. Am I bleeding?"

"You're puttin' too much pressure on yourself."

He rolled up his sleeve. "Fuck!" He clasped his hand over his arm. Pulling it off, he stared at his palm. There was nothing on it. "Great. Way to fucking go, Hoagie."

"Numbuh 2, it's not even—"

But he lifted his other arm with the same expression. "H-how?" His voice softened immediately as he started to panic. Rolling up his other sleeve, he ran his palm across his sleeve, lifting it and staring at it in horror. He tried swiping his palms across his arms, but it didn't help. The more he tried to act, the more panicked he became. "No. No no no no no, I've been good," he said, dropping to his knees. "I was so good." He grabbed one of his arms, doubling over in pain.

"Numbuh 2!" She dropped to the floor with him, trying to take his arm. "Numbuh 2 you're hallucinating. You need to find your focus."

He pulled away. "No! I don't want you to see it..."

"Numbuh 2. Breathe."

His breath became shallower. "Oh, God. It's everywhere..." His face contorted. "Why is this happening..." he heaved. "What did I do? Why won't it stop?" But each time she tried to help him, he moved further away. "No! Get away! Don't look at it! Don't look," He buried his head in his knees, blocking it.

"It's the Cinnamon. It messes with your head. You're okay."

"Fuck!" he screamed into the air, a cry of desperation and anger. "This wasn't supposed to happen!" he yelled. "You were never supposed to know! I didn't want you to know!" he cried, tears spilling all over. "I didn't want you to know..."

Abby undid his tie and began to wrap it around his left arm. Now that his focus was on that arm, he had forgotten about the other one. She removed his hat too. Finally, she pulled his goggles down so they hung around his neck. "Your mask is very pretty," she said. "I like it a lot. Even though it's a little gaudy sometimes," she said. "Don't be ashamed of it. The masks we wear are just as much a part of us as what we hide behind them."

He sniffled. "Was that a metaphor?" he asked in disbelief.

"I get what you were tryin' to do," she said. "Cause I tried to do the same thing. It ain't worth it, Baby. You'll just keep hurtin' yourself."

His nose went into her shoulder. "I ruined the mission."

"Nah." She stroked his hair. "No way we could'a gotten in here another way." He nestled in more. "I'm sorry I pushed you. You come to me when you're ready."

He wasn't crying anymore, just breathing shallowly.

"Nigel's butt's so big, folks ask why he still uses a car seat..." she whispered.

There was a pause. Then: "Nigel's butt's so white, Spankulot couldn't remember if he'd spanked it," he grinned.

"Nigel's butt's so white, Night-brace tried to floss it."

He lifted his head. "Nigel's butt's so big, it made the Toiletnator run out of toilet paper. Twice."

They looked at each other, unable to keep a straight face. The two of them leaned back, laughing. Their shoulders touched as they both landed butt-first on the ground. After a while, they both settled.

"We're terrible people."

"Shouldn't we be doing something?" he asked. "For the mission?"

"Eh," Abby brushed it off. "They got this. Numbuh 3 felt pretty confident about her secret password."

"Oh, yeah. They're never gonna guess it."

"What is it, anyway?"

Hoagie whispered it in her ear. Abby jolted upright, taking off her hat and slapping him in the chest. "It wasn't my idea! Or...was it..."

Abby sighed after a while.

"I'm mad at myself," she confessed. "I wasn't the friend I thought I was, even before Numbuh 1 left us. There was so much I should have done."

"I don't feel time right now."

"You're high."

"Yeah." He giggled. "But also cause maybe it's not real."

"Time isn't real?"

"That's why there's no time machines."

"Yeah." Abby leaned back. "Could be."

"Great, Wallabee! Now the Rainbow Monkeys are sad!"

Wally rolled his eyes. "Oh, no. How terrible."

"It's all dark and gloomy and it used to be all bright and colorful," she whined. "That's what you do! You take all the colors away!"

"You did that yourself. It ain't my fault. That's how drugs work."

"Oh, well. You would know."

"Y'know what, shut up, Kuki."

"You shut up!"

"You shut up!"

Rachel sat on a wooden stair-step, watching the two go back and forth, which they had been for a while now. She had thought the fight would become a more mature argument, as it had started, but soon it devolved into childish mockery. Rachel had to wonder if the Cinnamon was actually turning the two back into children.

"Okay..." she finally said over them. "Okay! That's enough!"

They stopped.

"I am going to get the code module myself! You two figure out...whatever this is! And I don't want to see your faces until you have sorted out your crud!" she snapped, marching off grumbling. "Honestly...after everything I've worked for...this is ridiculous..."

"Hey! Wait! Don't go off alone!" He sneered at his girlfriend. "Now see what you've done?"

Kuki crossed her arms. "I just want you to be a little more respectful of my situation."

"I am respectful! I've always been respectful," he argued. "Is that what you want? To kiss a girl? You can kiss a girl, Kuki. I don't care."

"Oh, yes you do!" she contradicted. "You are jealous! Of everyone!"

"I am not."

"Oh-ho!" She spun around. "You were jealous of Numbuh 2 both times you met him! You were sooper jealous of Numbuh 5. And don't even get me started on Numbuh 1!"

Wally grunted. "I don't wanna talk about him."

"When you met Numbuh 1 you thought he was just the coolest. And he had all the cool stuff you wanted. You wanted his position, his sunglasses, his boot rockets, his best friend..."

"Hey!" he shouted. "Numbuh 2 is my best friend!"

"I'm not even sure you didn't start liking me just because you knew Numbuh 1 had a huge crush on me first!"

"That's ridiculous."

"And then he left and in came hurricane Wallabee!" She spun her arm around like a top. "Tornado Beatles just wrecking up everything! Angry all the time!"

"Me? You cried like a baby! For YEARS!"

"...he was only gone for a year."

"Wah-wah-wah-wah! Numbuh 1! Why did you have to leave us? I miss you soooo much! Wah-wah-wah!" His arms flapped like birds, or like a girl trying to dry her nails.

"Jealous! You were jealous! You were jealous because the Galactic Kids Next Door picked him and not you!" Kuki was jumping up and down, pointing at him.

"I don't wanna be in the stoopid Galactic Kids Next Door!" he snapped. "I'm just sick of everything being about Numbuh 1 all the time! Ooh, Numbuh 1! He saved my butt! Ooh Numbuh 1! He's so cool! He never used to be. He never used to be cool. But all of the sudden Numbuh 1 is the son of Numbuh 0, and Numbuh 1 is Father's nephew, and Numbuh 1 got chosen to go to space cause he's so special and now! Here we are! Flown all across the cruddy Universe and what is our plan?" He gasped, putting his hands together in yogic prayer. "Oh, Numbuh 1. Pretty-please don't destroy our planet! We've been so very good. Please don't forget about us little Earth people. We're always chasin' his big fat butt and I'm sick of it!" He threw his arms down.

"Numbuh 1 wouldn't actually destroy the planet!" Kuki said. "Would he?"

"I don't want nothin' to do with him."

"How are you going to pull that off?"

"I don't know! But I don't wanna see him. I don't wanna talk to him, I ain't wastin' a second on that guy ever again! He really..." he inhaled sharply. "He really did a Numbuh..." Wally pointed to his chest. "Oh my heart!"

The drugs were in full-kick now for him. He began to cry. It was the kind of cry a small child makes after throwing a temper tantrum. A release of hot energy and pure emotion.

"Oh, Wally..." Kuki went to him. "He did a Numbuh on mine too!"

The two of them wrapped their arms around each other, sobbing. After the feelings were out, which took a good few minutes, Wally took his girlfriend by the hand.

"Kuki."

"Yes, Wally?"

"I want you to be a star."

She flushed, her smile as wide as her cheekbones. "Really?"

"Of course I do! Just because I ain't figured out my life, don't mean you gotta give up your dreams," he said. "And maybe," he blushed. "We can talk about...openin' up the relationship. N-Nothin' too much! No poly-yammering nothin'. Cause I don't wanna be intimate with anyone else. But, you know, if you wanted to, occasionally, go on a date or somethin' then I will try not to be jealous."

Kuki squealed with delight. "Really?"

"Yeah but – there gotta be rules, okay? Like it can't be anyone I know. And I want you to be honest about it, if you had like...other feelings besides the basic stuff. Cause if you fall in love with someone, I'll never forgive you ever."

"Oh yes you will. You love me." She rocked back and forth on her feet. "Are you really okay with it?"

"Well, I ain't thrilled about it," he admitted. "But if I learned anything from this whole cruddy thing, it's that regret is worse than any uncomfortable thing. So I'm gonna give it a try."

Kuki wiped happy tears from her eye. "Oh, Wallybear!" She glommed him.

"We gotta talk about the nicknames though."

"My WallyKoallyBear!" she nuzzled him.

"Yeah, yeah alright," he pushed her off gently. "Let's find Numbuh 362 and get outta here. I'm done with this place."

He took her hand and they stepped into the large tree, looking around. They called for Rachel, but she was nowhere to be found. It was even more difficult now since both Wally and Kuki were experiencing strange patterns on the walls on account of the Cinnamon. When they had explored most of the tree, they finally located the spot where the code module was meant to be, an empty space there instead. They had half-expected it to just be thrown into a pile of junk, but here absolutely everything was labeled.

"Great. No Numbuh 362. No code module." Wally stretched his arms behind his head. "Let's go back. She probably got out some other way."

Kuki skipped after him. "What do you think Numbuh 5 and Numbuh 2 are doing?"

"Probably makin' out."

Kuki gasped. "And we're missing it?!"

"I thought you were on Team Numbuh 1."

"I am," she said. "But making out is always fun to watch."

"You gotta work on your boundaries, Love."

Tucked into a massive tree in the middle of outer space, lies the largest library in the world. There are no books in this library, no videos or dvds. Instead on its shelves are rows and rows of little metal boxes, holding some of the Universe's most advanced technology. As Rachel stood in the massive archways of this ancient place, a chill ran down her spine. She dusted off her clothes, staring up at the light from the hole from which she fell. Despite her mission, there was an air of respect she had for the wisdom housed within the wooden walls. There must have been DNA from every KND operative who ever existed in the Universe here, kept on record by a sophisticated system left secret but by all but the council. How she was ever going to find the code module in this place was a mystery.

Rachel took out the glasses Hoagie had lent her to read the script, though they slid off her face if she tried to wear them properly. Eventually the bright red box came into view with the flashing letter hanging over it. She reached for the box.

"Can I help you?"

Startled, she turend around to see a little orange Alien with bulging eyes staring up at her. Its leaves were soft like petals, and the edges held the smallest hint of green.

"Um." Rachel looked around unsure of what to do. "I'm...uh..."

"I've never seen one of you before," they said. "Weird foliage you have."

"Yeah. Totally."

"I am Numbuh Coleus, the librarian. That right there is the newest addition to the collection." Their leaves formed a grin. "I don't get many visitors! No one cares about history anymore. You know I have the DNA of every creature who has ever been...or at least most of it. But still I've never seen a...you...before."

"Oh, well, you know...I'm friends with Nigel Uno. Have you heard of him?" she inquisited. "Do you know where he is? I need to talk to him it's really important."

"Sorry I don't enjoy company. Unless it's to talk about the records." Numbuh Coleous looked around pridefully. "It is a garden watered by every being on the planet. You'd think more people would be excited about it!"

"If this is a library you don't mind if I...borrow...one of these?"

"Oh, no! You can't do that! The council wouldn't like it."

"Oh, but it would be so much help for my...research!" she said. "My very important top secret research on...possums."

"Possums?"

"Yes. Does this code module have...Possum DNA?"

"What's a possum?" They lit up.

"It's a mamal and it's kinda fluffy...uh...long?"

"I'm just messing with you! I know what a possum is silly billy. But you won't find possum DNA in that code module. That's specifically DNA for Kids Next Door Operatives. I wouldn't get too close. That's got human DNA in there."

"Oh, shoot." She backed into the wall. "You mean the ones with the...you know what?"

"I hear they're keeping one in quarantine. Wouldn't let myself be caught dead around a human being. No way."

"Yeah. Psh." Her shoulder brushed the code module. "Oh my gosh is that it, right there?"

"Where?!"

Rachel grabbed the module and broke for it, praying it was the right one. But deep in her heart, she knew it was. As it slipped into her hands, the shape and texture felt familiar...distinctly Earth.

"I don't see...hey!"

But Rachel had almost vanished from sight. She pulled out her communication device and rang Wally and Kuki hoping they were listening.

"Guys change of plans! Meet at the ship! There are Kids here! I repeat. There are Kids here."

"So after my dad died it was like, all the sudden I grew up," Hoagie said, still sitting on the floor. Abby's head was tucked into his shoulder. "That was weird. Cause they tell you, you stay a kid till you're thirteen. And after that's when you sell your soul to the meat grinder and come out a perfect adult. But like...I grew up before that. I think I even grew up...before my dad died, but I don't really know how it happened. I didn't know how to go back to the Kids Next Door, you know? You look at death and it's like...there's no coming back from that."

"That must've been terrifying for you," she said.

"Death's not as scary as living, Abby," he replied. "Not by a long-shot."

"Maybe scary to witness," she admitted. "Not so much to go through."

After a while, he spoke again. "I don't know how to not be in pain," he said. "And I don't like...other people being sad about it."

"Caus'a what happened that day?"

He stiffened.

"Don't play dumb. I know you didn't fall off no stinkin' roof," she mumbled.

"Yeah," was all he could find.

"Can I ask a question?" she tried. "Is it over? Whatever this thing is. Is it done?"

"Oh, yeah. It's been over for a long time. But it's also never really over, you know?"

Abby nodded, pressing her face further into his shoulder and holding it for a moment. "Good cause Abby'd have to go down and whoop some ass if it wasn't. Ain't nobody hurt my friends and gets away with it."

"She got away with it," he said, almost without thinking. "I've been through every scenario, every outcome, every possibility. She wins. Every time." He sighed. "That's what I've been trying to say, Abby. The Kids Next Door doesn't always—" he cleared his breath. "Work." He looked at her earnestly. "We need to do better."

Abby kissed him on the shoulder and lifted herself off, so she could see him. "We will," she said.

Hoagie grit his teeth with a guilty smile. "We really should be looking for Numbuh 1."

"Nuh-uh. Not you. Not like this."

He rolled his shoulder. "I think I'm comin' down from it." But Abby didn't move. "You're putting it off."

She pouted. "Maybe. So are you."

He seethed. "Yeah, I kinda ghosted him. I know. I'm terrible."

Abby laughed. "I kinda burned him at the stake," she admitted.

"Well, I'm glad you're following in my completely healthy emotional footsteps," he teased.

"Oh right. Cause I'm the queen'a healthy over here," she added. "I literally cut you open. That is a new low for me."

But Hoagie wasn't listening. He was staring off again. Only this time, his face was more pensive. She tapped him on the shoulder to wake him. "I was trying to remember the name...of that man I used to buy chili dogs from." His lips moved to one side. "Now I can't remember it."

"Well, we can't remember everything, Numbuh 2. No one can."

But his stare grew intense. "Ask me something. Something about our past."

"Uh..." Abby scooted back. "What was the stuff Nurse Clayborne put in her crumble? You talked about that for months."

"Oh right. It was..." he froze. "Let's see it was...gross, I remember that. No, I got it! It was...no, wait that's not it." Then, he stopped. "I don't remember."

"That's okay," Abby said. "Let's try something else."

"I don't think the recommissioning is permanent," he said. "The Cinnamon isn't powerful enough to fully reverse the effects. It can only do it for a short time. I'm coming down early."

"Y-you don't know that," she bartered. "People forget stuff all the time. I don't remember everything from back then. You can keep the important stuff."

"Numbuh 5...did I fly here? I feel like I flew here but..." He looked around. "This place doesn't look familiar. Are we on the moon base?" He looked at his arm. "Why is there a tie on my arm?"

"Baby," she pulled on his arm. "Don't give into it, okay. You get up and we're gonna go face our fears and find Numbuh 1. Okay?" She stood to her feet, but his arm was limp. Her pulling it didn't give it any life. "Numbuh 2, come on!"

"It's melting away..." he said. "Ugh I'm going to be so pissed at myself. God, that's a weird sentence."

"No, no. No." She went back to the ground. "No, we're so close. It can't end yet."

"I couldn't find anything on the recommissioning module...They don't need them out here. Since no one gets decommissioned. I should have known," he said. "Stupid Numbuh 86 fixed it. Stupid Numbuh 86. She's not smarter than me. How come she fixed it?"

"Numbuh 2...there wasn't enough time."

"I can never do anything. I never win anything. That's why I'm always alone. I'm always alone. Stupid Numbuh 86. Stupid Numbuh 1. Stupid everything," he grumbled at such a fast pace, Abby couldn't really hear him. Then, he gasped. "I never said goodbye to Numbuh 4! Or Numbuh 3!" He scrambled up. "I gotta...I gotta..." Holding his head, he stumbled backwards. "I gotta tell Numbuh 1 I'm sorry."

"Hoagie."

"Numbuh 4 is gonna be so mad."

"Baby."

His hands clasped over his face. "No. I don't wanna go back. I don't wanna go back. I don't wanna be that person. I don't like the dark. I don't wanna go back. I don't wanna be alone. I don't like being alone, Numbuh 5. I don't do good alone!"

She touched his arm. "Hey!" she said, urgently. "You are not alone. You might feel lonely and you might not remember any'a this, but as long as you want me, I will be here."

He stopped hyperventilating.

"You won't always see me in the dark, but I'm sittin' right there with you. Here. Right here. Is where I want to be. And nothin' in this whole Universe could get me to move."

He groaned more pushing his hands into his eyes. "God, my head..." he said. He blinked his eyes. "What the...where are my glasses?" He fumbled around his chest. "Oh yeah, that's right. Still not used to that." Then, he noticed the tie, which was no longer around his neck. "What the..."

Abby smiled, realizing he hadn't heard a word she said. "Welcome back, Captain. You have a nice trip?"

Hoagie put on his goggles. "Well, the good news is I'm probably allergic to Cinnamon. My sinuses are having a dance party." He looked around the floor, locating his cap. "The bad news is, no memories. So it looks like we're going on a suicide mission. Hot-dog!" He went to put on his coat and fixed his tie, looking out the window with a puzzled expression. "Where...are we?"

"On a suicide mission," she said.

He squinted at her. "We're on the mission right now."

"Mhmm."

"I don't remember..." he turned around again. "Getting here. And where are the love birds at?" He grimaced. "They're not having sex, are they?"

"I sure hope not," Abby confessed, honestly thinking that could have been a possibility.

"Wait. Wait a minute. We're not in the—"

Abby nodded.

"But that would mean."

"Yes."

"So we—"

"Uh-huh."

"Which means I..." His face brightened as he realized.

"You did it."

His brows lifted. "I did it?" Then. "I did it." His hands clasped Abby's forearms. "We did it..." She nodded. "Ha-ha! We did it!" He picked her up around the legs swinging her around and around. When he set her down, he backed away a bit. "How was I? Was I funny?"

"Not even a little bit."

"Ha-ha!" He danced around himself again before freezing. "Oh, crap. We're on a mission. I need to be quiet, huh?" He hunched over, whispering. "Stealth, mission."

"Well..." Abby confessed. "Not exactly."

"So..." Hoagie stared at the screen. "They all just abandoned their posts for ice cream?"

"Pretty much."

"Jeez, Children. Sort out your priorities, why don't ya?" He examined the ships further. "They can't get into the S.L.I.N.G.S.H.O.T. at all. That's diabolical."

"It was Kuki's idea."

Turning to Abby, he got excited again. "Ooh! Did we get Nigel Uno? Is he coming with us?"

"I haven't..." Abby tried not to be too embarrassed. "Gone down to Quarantine yet."

"Oh. Did something happen?" Hoagie looked back at the screen. "Did we miss something?"

"N-No," she mumbled as she pulled the brim of her hat over her eyes.

"Oh, Abigail," he chuckled. "You saved a bunch of misfits, carried them across space, rescued a lost operative, hacked into a high-security military base without hurting a single person. You're seriously the most badass being in the whole Universe. Don't let this be the thing that stops you," he said. "We get the code module, we win either way. What have you got to lose?"

She smiled weakly. "Just everything."

Nodding, swallowing her blush.

"Okay. Let's go."

She put the coordinates in and teleported them to the Quarantine area. Hoagie was dizzy, but Abby had gotten used to it. The area was a barren tree, not fresh like the others. Petrified.

"You ready?"

But as she began to walk toward the door, Hoagie did not go with her. "Actually, I think I'm gonna stay."

She stopped. "You can't give me a speech like that and then chicken out."

"Abby, I don't know Nigel. It wouldn't make a difference if I came."

"Yes, it will!" She went back to him. "He'll see you and he'll remember all the good times you had together. He'll realize how important Earth is, and the Kids Next Door. You're not honestly gonna make me go alone?"

"I hear you," he said. "But this computer has backlogs of information of the Galactic Kids Next Door. Classified documents. Advanced technology. Tested data on the virus, far more than what we have. And if they are planning something with the Khlorophill it will be in those files. I guarantee it. If we leave, I might not be able to access it from out of range."

"Right. Science always comes first."

"Hey. No," he insisted. "Our planet comes first. If there is something in there that can save it, that can give us an edge, so we can fight Father and rescue the kids he stole, then I have to look for it." He sighed. "Nigel is your mission. He always was. But he's not mine."

"Okay. That's fair," she agreed.

"I'm going to be right in range if you need backup. I promise I won't run away like last time."

"Even if you do, you a boomerang. No matter how hard I throw you, you always come back."

He laughed. "I'm choosing to look at that one as a compliment."

She held out her hand. "Good work, Soldier."

He shook it. "It was an honor, Sir."

But as she let go, he tightened his grip.

"Abby."

She stopped. He grinned.

"Kick his ass."

"You guys. Listen. We were right. I found something...it's...I don't think I can explain it. You have to come see. Wally? Kuki? Hello? Can anyone hear me? We need to get out of here. Now. The G:KND are..."

The static broke through as the transmission went silent.

The Quarantine area was quite small, which Abby was expecting. However, it was larger than she thought. As she carefully navigated the area, though strangely it looked deserted. Not too many Adults trespassed the high-security area, she assumed. But there was something odd about that too. She called out to see if anyone was hiding in the back of their rooms but didn't hear a thing. A long-ways in, she noticed broken glass on the ground...following a trail to an empty cell.

Someone had escaped.

"Numbuh 1?" she called. There was no answer.

She kept moving. She felt like she had walked an eternity before a shadow revealed itself through one of the windows. Holding her S.C.A.M.P.P. to the glass, she shot through it, shattering the door. No alarm sounded, as Hoagie still managed to take over the security.

With a deep breath, she stepped in.

"Well," she said, leaning her weapon on her shoulder. "You would not believe what I've been through to get here."

The teenage boy in the corner slowly turned to face her, stepping out of the shadow that was hiding him. "A-Abby?"

"It's me, Baby," she said, stepping over the glass. "I got tired'a waitin, so I came to get you."

Nigel stared at her, not sure if he were in a dream. "Abby. What are you doing here?" He stepped forward. "Y-You broke the quarantine!"

Abby frowned. "That's it? Not a hello? How've you been? How'd you get in here?"

"How the heck did you get in here?"

"Ice cream trick," she said confidently.

"Abby, goodness. When I said not to leave the planet, I meant not to leave the planet!"

"Sorry to burst yo' bubble," she snickered. "I gotta write that one down."

Nigel wouldn't get too close to her, and even found himself backing away. "This is not a joke."

"Numbuh 1, listen. You gotta convince the G:KND to recommission Earth. Father has risen to power and wants to make childhood illegal!"

"I quarantined the Earth for a reason."

Abby blinked. "Uh...did you not hear what I just said? Father. Illegalizing childhood. Without the Kids Next Door, we got no chance."

Nigel sighed. "If I break the quarantine, the virus could spread again."

Abby glared at him, incredulously. "Nigel, those kids."

"They're not Kids," he said. "They're diseased from birth. They don't know what true Childhood is, as we don't. You can't expect me to sacrifice the integrity of these real Children for humans who are just going to grow up to be Adults anyway."

"You're serious." She took a step away from him. "You wanted this?"

"Of course I don't want this!" he said. "The only way to truly save those Children, to save us, is to find the cure for the virus. That's what I'm doing! And what you've done has really made a mess of things!"

"And what if there is no virus?"

That almost made Nigel laugh. "Listen to that. Listen to what you're saying. No virus. Abby, that's Adult nonsense."

Abby tried to catch her breath.

"You've been away so long..." he said, approaching her. "Fed all kinds of lies. It isn't your fault."

"Numbuh 1, I don't think—"

"Vine has the virus, Abby. She contracted it from me. She was sent to quarantine just hours ago. It's spreading and the only way to stop it is to stop it for good."

"Vine...you mean, Lizzie—" She shook her head. "But that's impossible. That's not..."

"I made a mistake letting you stay down there," he said. "I should have insisted you join the G:KND. I know you didn't want to leave your family. But Abby it's gone on too long. You and I can find a cure together. Don't you see? You don't have to suffer on Earth. You can stay here. Stay. I promise we'll figure something out."

"Nigel."

"You'll get top-of-the-line care. Ample treatment. And we won't have to be apart anymore. We don't have to grow up. We can be kids. Forever. Isn't that what anyone wants?"

Abby's mind was spinning. Stay. It was easy enough, right? Just stay. Numbuh 362 could get the code module, she could take care of Earth. Nigel was right. Why did she have to suffer? She had for a long time, too long. Didn't she deserve happiness too? Wasn't that what anyone wanted? An endless childhood? A beautiful, innocent, flawless...lie.

"No," she said.

"No?"

"That's not what everyone wants," she said.

"That's why the Kids Next Door exists. It's what we fight for."

She shook her head. "It's not what I want," she said.

"Of course it is."

"I'm tired, Nigel. I'm tired of not feeling like a person anymore, and just feelin' like a problem. Aren't you tired of it? Bein' sad all the time cause you ain't a kid no more. I wanna like myself again. I wanna drive a car. I wanna cuss sometimes, cause Lord knows I need it. I wanna like my life. All of it. Maybe if life wasn't so horrible for adults, they wouldn't make life so horrible for kids. Maybe there's a way we all get to be free. That's what everyone wants."

"We'll never be children," he said, his eyes sharp on her. "So we can't be free. Not until I do something to change it. As long as the virus exists it will continue to destroy childhood."

"This place isn't real, Numbuh 1," she said. "I know you want it to be, but it's not."

She unclipped the sunglasses from her chest, holding them out to him.

"It's time to come home."

He looked at her for a long time before taking the sunglasses from her. "Oh, Abby," he said solemnly. "What have they done to you?"

"Nigel. Wait."

"I was a fool to think a soul could be pure enough to survive on that planet without corruption," he whispered. "Numbuh 5 would never say she wanted to be an Adult. I don't know who you are, but you're not her."

"They're lying to you, not me. I know about the Khlorophill, Nigel. I know they're harvesting and storing it for some purpose they may or may not be telling you."

"Is that so?" A voice came from behind her.

Abby turned to see a Tree-like Alien moving its branches.

"Tell me, Abigail Lincoln. I'm sure we'd all be curious to know."

"We're havin' a conversation."

"Oh, I'd like to be involved," they said. "Like how you snuck into our library and tried to steal your code module back."

"Abby..."

"What use could you have for that?"

"Numbuh 362 is here," she said, watching Nigel's face expand in surprise. "She came to look for you and they sent her to the graveyard. They're lying! About everything! She has the code module. And we have a recommissioning module."

"She what...you what?!"

"Poor sick humans," the Alien shook their head. "Making up stories to justify their hideous transformation." They grabbed her by the arm, wrapping a root around it. She reached for her S.C.A.M.P.P., but it crashed to the floor.

"Get off of me!"

"Illegal possession of unauthorized Memories. Trespassing on Child property without a permit. Hacking into the security system. Breaking official quarantine," they smiled. "You've been quite busy."

"Nigel!"

But Nigel was solemn.

"You know what needs to be done," he said. "I'm sorry for you to know the truth. But I can't let you bring back the Earth Division. Too much is at risk."

"Don't do this..." she begged as she was pulled away. "Numbuh 1!"

"Please, Abby. You'll be happier this way. The truth has burdened you for too long. Let me take things from here."

Abby reached for her walkie-talkie, but a second root shot through it.

"Nice try. But you know Numbuh 362 is gone," they said. "Unless you were trying to call someone else?"

She puffed. "No."

"Once I find the cure—" Nigel started.

"Save it," she said. "Keep your damn cure. I don't want any part of it." She straightened up. "Goodbye, Nigel. Whatever this is, I hope it was worth it."

The vine pulled her out of the cell as Nigel got smaller and smaller. She knew that she had no choice now but to hope Numbuh 362 and the others pulled through.

"Hey! Anyone there? Hello!"

Hoagie picked up his walkie talkie. "Kuki?"

"Thank goodness! Where are you?!"

"Abigail took the ship to Quarantine to find Uno," he said. "Why? Did something happen?"

"Rachel's gone, man. We've looked all over but we can't find her, so we thought she was with you," Wally said. "Your machine must'a worked, cause I got no idea where the bloody fuck we are!"

"Okay, uh...just hang on a sec. Abigail? Abigail, can you hear me?"

Nothing.

"That's not good," Kuki said.

"I'm supposed to wait for her."

"Dude. I got a bad feelin' about all of this."

"Okay okay. I'm coming to get you. Just hang tight. If something happened to Rachel she will probably end up in Quarantine anyway. We'll look for them together."

"Come on!" They pulled Abby along. "Let's make this quick. I'm busy."

Abby had difficulty resisting, the root was wrapped tightly around her wrist. "I know that voice," she thought aloud. "You're the Alien who worked in the Arctic Sector. Your Numbuh had a decimal in it."

They didn't respond.

"You have to listen to me!" she begged. "Everything we know about the aging virus is wrong. I need an audience with the council. Nigel is—" They continued to ignore her. "You don't care, do you?"

"I really don't."

"How come you're here anyway?" Abby asked. "Don't like ice cream?"

"I'm lactose intolerant," they replied.

"Lactose intolerant?" She stopped walking, and they followed. "No Kid admits they're lactose intolerant." Then, a chill ran down her spine. "You have the virus."

"Wow. That was a leap," the Alien said.

Abby clawed her fingers around the root, her arms shaking. "L-Let me go."

"Oh, now you're scared of me," They replied moving toward her. "You're scared of Adults. That's adorable."

Abby pulled harder.

"You should be afraid of Kids. Careless things. Unaware of consequences or the effects of their actions, breeding chaos wherever they go." They sighed with delight. "How I miss it."

Abby used her entire body weight, now desperate to escape. "Don't you touch me!"

"Please," They scoffed. "I'm not that old."

Abby relaxed, but only a little. The root yanked her forward.

They reached a small room, the size of a janitor's closet, with a single chair that resembled something of an electric one. In front of it was a television screen, turned off. For now.

"Alright. Let's get this over with," they said.

Abby stared at the empty chair, her belly filling with fear.

"Oh, I remember. You've done this before."

Her neck tightened.

"I wanna say it's easier the second time, but I don't know myself."

"I know about the Khlorophill," she said. "I know you're planning a war. But you don't have to. We don't have to be enemies."

They didn't say anything but used a branch to push her forward. Soon, she forgot about them altogether. It was just her and the chair. Her thoughts weren't on anyone or anything else. Not Nigel. Not Sector V. Not the planet. It was a moment of clean lucidity. Despite her fear, there was a call to it, as though fate had summoned her to this place. To the chair. Everything else fell away. She fell away. There was only the chair. The chair...

...and the static.

END TRANSMISSION

Trigger warning: self-harm, improper use of illegal drugs and implied abuse/trauma.