Harry and Albus appeared in a darkened room, Harry's eyes tightly shut in preparation for being apparated. It was still an uncomfortable experience. As he opened his eyes, he frowned. The room was familiar.

While the light was dim, he could clearly see the light blue couch in the center of the room. It was covered in a layer of cat hair, from over a dozen different cats. The legs and base of the couch were scratched to such a severe degree that there wasn't a single spot where one could not see unmarred wood or fabric. Harry knew this couch. He had sat on this couch for countless hours watching slide shows of cats in various "cute" poses. Pictures of the same cats that were constantly crawling over him during the shows.

Looking around, he saw the familiar second-hand coffee table, old-fashioned radio in the place where most people would have a television, and thread bare rugs covering the hard-wood floors. Every item covered in scratches and fur. The only thing missing was the normally overwhelming odor.

He looked up at Albus's serene face. "This is Mrs. Figg's house."

"Yes, it is. I wonder if she'll finally take me up on the offer for some magical assistance in keeping the house clean. I am happy to see that she read my note and kept her cats locked away today."

"How do you know Mrs. Figg?"

"I'll assume you aren't asking for the full history of our friendship, which is a pleasant and somewhat interesting story, and are primarily questioning the unbelievable coincidence of my friend being your neighbor. The answer is what you are likely suspecting. After I left you with the Dursleys, I bought this house and placed Arabella here to report on your health and happiness."

Harry's face contorted into a mixture of shock and outrage. "You knew how I was treated?"

Albus sighed. "Yes… yes I knew. As I said, I knew what sort of people your relatives were, and I crafted a law that would allow you to attend Hogwarts regardless of their decisions. Indeed, your placement is what finally spurred me into accepting the constant offers I received to take up a role in the Wizengamot and ICW."

Harry took a deep, cleansing breath. He wanted to scream. He wanted to punch Albus's crooked nose. And still… Albus could have apparated them to somewhere completely different. The man could have easily withheld the information, and Harry would have been none the wiser. Albus had been shockingly truthful and helpful since the previous evening. Harry took another deep breath and looked into Albus's eyes. All he could see was sorrow.

Harry sat on the uncomfortable couch, ignoring the cloud of dust and cat hair that puffed up from the fabric. He indicated to the other side of the couch, which Albus sat down upon.

"Please explain yourself."

Albus smiled gratefully. "Thank you, Harry. Perhaps it would be easier to first explain why you were placed with the Dursleys in the first place."

"I have often wondered why my parents would leave me with them."

"Well, rest assured, they were not your parents' choice. When you were first born, they updated their will to dictate who should be given custody of you in the event of both of their deaths. In order, they were Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew, and Remus Lupin."

Harry felt a tingle of familiarity, though he couldn't place the names. "Who are they, and why wasn't I put with one of them?"

"The short answer is that they were your father's best friends throughout their time at Hogwarts. And, once your mother started dating your father, they quickly became your mother's best friends. As for why you are not with them, Sirius is in prison, Peter is no longer among the living, and Remus is a werewolf."

Harry felt his outrage spike. "I'm not with Remus because he's a werewolf!? Was that your choice, or the Ministry?"

Albus's shoulders slumped. "Neither. The Ministry likely would have fought your placement with a werewolf. Their treatment of those with the curse is… nothing short abominable. However, I would have used all my power to ensure that your parents' will was executed as they desired. Sadly, the decision was made by your parents."

Harry's outrage fizzled away. "Why?"

"Just like with Minerva and your friends, it all came down to fear making fools of us all. Are you sure you want to hear this now? It is a tale that has to do with your parents' deaths and is not happy. We can leave it for another day, if you wish."

A part of Harry wanted to wait until another day. On the other hand, he had a constant hunger for stories about his parents. Happy or sad, it would still be another memory he would have.

"I want to know!"

Albus sighed deeply and closed his eyes. After a few seconds, he opened his eyes and straightened his back again. "Very well, Harry. I suppose the story best begins with Tom being told a prophecy which he interpreted as meaning he had to kill you and Neville Longbottom."

Harry opened his mouth, but Albus raised his hand.

"Let's hold off on discussing the prophecy for the moment, Harry. For now, it is irrelevant to the story."

Harry slowly nodded in agreement.

"After you and Neville were born, your parents and the Longbottoms went into hiding together. For one month, they were safe. And then, I received news that their location had been compromised. They ran, and their new safe house lasted two weeks. That is how it went for three months, with them having to flee almost every week. All the while paranoia was ratcheting up. While it was never spoken out loud, I suspect the Longbottoms and your parents started to believe being together was a liability. So, at three months, they chose to go their separate ways."

"Why would they suspect that?"

"Based on a few small comments here and there, I think they were letting blind optimism convince them that only one of you boys was being targeted. As cold-hearted as it might seem, it is a perfectly reasonable parental response to try to save one's own child even at the cost of another person's child. Out loud, they said that splitting up would require the other side to use more resources to find them."

Harry frowned and nodded.

"As luck would have it, the Longbottoms were able to find a safehouse that remained secure. Although, in retrospect, it was likely known by Tom, and he simply was more interested in you. Once he had disposed of you, I am sure that Neville would have been the next target that evening. Your parents, however, continued running for the next two months. Eventually they accepted the offer I had been making all along of staying at Hogwarts. By that point in time, they had become convinced that there was a spy amongst their allies. Their circle of trust was reduced to me, Sirius, Peter, and Remus."

"Why wouldn't they just stay at Hogwarts in the first place?"

"They said that Hogwarts was no place to raise a baby. That they wanted a nice place where they could raise their child, and have it become a real home."

Harry's expression shifted to frustrated confusion. "But… they could have been safe! They were safe with you… they didn't have to die!"

Albus sighed sadly and placed a comforting hand on Harry's shoulder. "I think that they knew all of that at an intellectual level. But, in their hearts, I think they just wanted to give you a happy home and were suffering from cabin fever. You must understand your parents and the Longbottoms had been extremely active in the fight against Tom and his forces, so hiding went against their instincts. A parent will do many things for their children, but a parent is also still a person with needs and desires that have nothing to do with their children. Perhaps giving you a happy home was their way of continuing their defiance, while still doing the right thing for you. Accepting refuge at Hogwarts may have felt too much like surrender."

"Who cares!? They would have been safe!"

"Says the young man who chose to fight a basilisk single-handed instead of finding an adult."

Harry opened his mouth to respond but could find no immediate words to refute Albus. Albus simply waited patiently as Harry worked through his thoughts. Finally, Harry shook his head and paraphrased Albus's words. "Fear makes people stupid."

Albus nodded sadly. "Indeed, it does. It becomes easier to forgive others and ourselves once we can remember that simple truth. As for your parents, they were finally safe and could rest. However, they still wanted to find you a real home. That is when Lily, your mother, began searching through the library. I gave her full access to my personal library, and every book I could find for her. And that is how she ran across an oblique reference to a spell called the Fidelius Charm."

"What is that?"

"A spell that allows a secret to be contained in a person. The secret can only be shared by the person, known as a Secret Keeper, anyone else trying to share the secret would only speak or write nonsensical gibberish. For months, Lily and I researched and tracked down enough hints to eventually recreate a version of the spell. Your parents were thrilled, because it meant they could finally find a safe place to hide and truly raise you in a real home. All that was left was preparing a property and choosing a Secret Keeper."

Harry felt his stomach drop out. He could see where this was heading. "You said that Sirius is in prison, he was the Secret Keeper, wasn't he?"

"Yes, he was. I was not at his trial, but I was told that he confessed to betraying your parents. He had apparently joined Tom's side and was the spy we feared we had in our midst. Sadly, the tale is much more tragic than you are thinking."

Harry looked at Albus with open disbelief. "How!? One of their best friends betrayed them, and that's not enough tragedy? Damn it! Why weren't YOU their Secret Keeper!?"

"I offered to take the role many times. But your father and his friends were so tight knit, he couldn't imagine trusting anyone but his circle to the secret. As for what made the tragedy worse, I believe Sirius convinced your parents to betray Remus."

Harry closed his eyes in resignation. "… you said I wasn't with Remus because of my parents and him being a werewolf. That's what the betrayal was about, wasn't it?"

"Yes. I should say that Remus was a werewolf well before attending Hogwarts, and your father was aware of his affliction during their Hogwarts days. Normally he would never hold that curse against his friend. However, Remus tended to openly complain that the Ministry treats werewolves horribly, while Tom was offering full rights to those werewolves who joined his side. It was no surprise that so many werewolves were joining the Dark Lord's ranks."

"Was Remus right about that?"

"Yes, he was. Though he was also aware that Tom's offers were empty promises. Still, your parents were paranoid about spies, and there was Remus speaking a bit too passionately about why werewolves were joining the very man planning on killing you. They didn't want to openly confront their friend, for fear of being wrong, so they simply revised their will to exclude Remus from the list of potential guardians along with a note explaining their reason and an apology if they overreacted. At the will reading, hearing that note is what finally broke the man. On the occasions I have tried to convince him to write you, he has simply told me that James wanted him to have nothing to do with you and he was going to honor that wish."

Harry felt his heart filling with anger for Sirius Black and sadness for Remus. "Do you think he would answer me if I wrote to him?"

"Perhaps… you can make that decision on some other day. I will support whatever decision you make."

Harry nodded, his eyes moistening with unshed tears.

"With Sirius selected as the Secret Keeper, I then prepared the property and charged all the necessary wards. All that was needed was performing the ceremony for creating the secret. Your parents asked me to wait at a nearby pub, while they finalized the charm. I remember feeling a wash of magic that made me feel uneasy, much like how one feels when they have an important appointment to attend but have no idea what it could be. Sirius then brought me to the property, and they confirmed that I had no ability to find your parents. It was a final test, as they felt that if it worked against me then it should work against Tom. Sirius then handed me a slip of paper with the secret, which I memorized and destroyed, and then I once again knew where to find your parents."

"And then Sirius betrayed my parents!"

"Yes, yes he did. Though Tom did not attack right away. You and your parents had three months together as a family, where they finally felt at peace. They had certainly achieved their dream of having a home."

Harry frowned in confusion. "But… why did Tom wait so long to attack?"

Albus shrugged. "I am not certain. My best guess would be that he liked the symbolism that Halloween represented, as he had a predilection for significant numbers and dates. Then again, he was petty enough that he could have just thought it would be amusing for you to share the same Death Day as the house ghost of Gryffindor. We'll likely never know the real reason for the delay, but we can be grateful for the additional time you had with your parents."

"I suppose it doesn't really matter much. So, how did I end up with the Dursleys?"

"It comes down to the night of the attack. I was in my office when I felt a surge of magic flow over me. I wish I could say I immediately knew what it meant, but it took me well over an hour before I recognized its similarity to what I felt when the Fidelius Charm was activated. I rushed down to Hagrid's hut, as he not been given the secret, and asked him where your family lived. Much to my dismay, he was able to answer me. At that point, I was certain that all of three of you had passed, and knew I had to rush to the Longbottoms to protect them from an attack."

"Why would you think we were all dead?"

"The secret was about where the Potters lived, and according to what we understood of the spell, it could only break if the secret was no longer true. To me, that meant that the Potters no longer lived. I am ever grateful that the spell was overly specific about the usage of a plural noun, as it allowed for a single Potter to still live. I am also grateful that Hagrid is an eternal optimist that insisted that I send him to go help you. I gave him a Portkey and then travelled to the Longbottoms to protect them from an attack that never came."

Harry felt a burst of warmness for the gentle soul who was his first friend in the magical world, and then his eyes shot wide open. "Hagrid! He's still in Azkaban!"

Albus smiled kindly. "Fear not, Harry, I ensured his freedom last night as the healers were treating you."

Harry smiled in relief and relaxed into the couch, before once again furrowing his brow. "So, Hagrid brought me to the Dursleys?"

"Not right away. He first brought you to a safehouse. He called in Poppy to care for you, who in turn contacted me. Hagrid went to The Leaky Cauldron to drink away his sorrow. I arrived and was pleased that the only ill effect you had was your scar. Poppy inspected it, and knew it was beyond her capabilities. I inspected it and saw the dark magic rolling around behind it, though I didn't know what it was at the time. I called in several friends of mine who are well versed in curse breaking and the dark arts, who agreed to be obliviated after the consultations, and we all came to the conclusion that it was both a unique curse and also extremely dangerous to try treating without knowing what it was. And so, your scar remained."

"And the Dursleys?"

"Almost there, Harry, I apologize for the delay. That night, I went to the Ministry, while sending out messages to meet with Sirius and Peter. As neither responded, I initially feared that they had been captured and killed, with Sirius being tortured first to reveal the secret. The thought that he voluntarily betrayed your family never entered my mind. As I talked with the various Aurors and Ministry officials, I began to overhear rumors about Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived."

Harry's eyes widened in surprise. "How in the world did they hear… you said Hagrid went to The Leaky Cauldron. Hagrid is why I'm called The Boy Who Lived, isn't he?"

Albus smirked. "At this time, please remember the warm feelings you just had for the poor fellow."

Harry chuckled. "You know, he has nearly gotten me killed on multiple occasions and I now know he is the reason I have that horrible nickname. And still… I just can't find it in me to stay mad at him."

Albus smiled. "It is one of his most annoying and endearing traits. I have never known anyone to maintain any sort of hatred for Hagrid. Even those who would gladly fire Hagrid are still hard pressed to stay more than irritated with the man."

Harry laughed. "Maybe he's secretly a Dark Lord who has been pulling the strings all along."

"If he is, then he has certainly earned his victory."

Harry smiled at the thought of Hagrid sending his minions off to do his dark bidding, like brushing unicorns and bathing pixies. After a minute, his thoughts once again returned to the topic at hand as his smile dimmed. "So, you started hearing rumors…"

Albus's smile faded as well. "Indeed. Along with the rumors, I started hearing people speculating about what would happen to you. Primarily, who would take care of you. The consensus that was forming was that someone like you should go live in the lap of luxury amongst a proper pureblood family. The frontrunner being…"

Harry's face paled, as one family name clearly popped into his mind. "Not… not the Malfoys!?"

"Yes. And without a named person in the will or a close relative, I wouldn't have been able to legally stop it from happening."

"But… but… I'm not even related to Malfoy!"

"Well, to a degree you are related to nearly every person in our community. I think the closest relation would be a third cousin, and no one close enough to be called a Potter. But the relations are there and can be manipulated by those with enough wealth and political power. Now if consider the fact that after Tom's fall, many of his Death Eaters bought their way to freedom, which side do you think had the most political power?"

"So, without Sirius or Peter around, it was either the Dursleys or a Dark Wizard who was likely to kill me or offer me up as a sacrifice to their Dark Lord?"

"That is what the law would allow me. Technically, the Ministry likely wouldn't have approved of your Aunt taking custody, as she is not a witch. That is why I didn't ask for permission. Once you were placed with her, they had no legal reason to remove you from her custody. At the time, I still hoped that Sirius or Peter would present themselves to take care of you. Sadly, Sirius killed Peter and then was revealed to be a traitor and you were stuck with the Dursleys."

Harry sat in silent contemplation. "Why did you keep specifying what the law said? Was there an illegal choice you had?"

Albus smiled proudly. "Very good Harry, I was wondering if you would pick up on that. Yes, I have always had a backup choice. I was prepared to kidnap you, go on the run, and raise you personally."

Harry looked at the man in disbelief, a small feeling of anger stirring in his chest. "Then why, in the name of all that is good, did you leave me with god damned Dursleys?"

Albus sank back into the couch with a deep sigh. "I wanted to offer you the best chance possible at a happy childhood."

"Well… you failed!"

"Perhaps. Based on the reports, it quickly became clear that you would not find a friend in your cousin. Then, it became clear that you would not find a friend at your primary school. But I still held hope that you would make friends at Hogwarts, once away from the Dursleys. If it wasn't for that hope, I would have taken you long ago. I have stood outside your front door on dozens of occasions, trying to convince myself that kidnapping you was the right answer. Had they been a bit worse, had they ever resorted to physical violence past the bullying your cousin gave you, had I been certain that you would not find friends at Hogwarts, I would have followed through on the desire. Still, I knew that being on the run with me would mean abandoning your parents' dream of you making close friends and being happy at Hogwarts. Tell me, Harry, up until you were revealed to be a Parselmouth, would you have preferred being kidnapped by me over attending Hogwarts?"

Harry looked at Albus. The man looked sincerely saddened by his choices, and so Harry held back his knee-jerk reaction and truly thought about the answer. He forced himself to remember to before the pain of his best friends thinking he could be a Dark Wizard. He remembered all the good times he had with them, and the happiness he had felt to finally have friends. Then he remembered the preceding years of pain he had with the Dursleys. Had the good offset the bad? What if his friends had stayed true, would the good have eventually offset the bad?

Harry looked into Albus's sad eyes. "I… don't know."

Albus shook his slowly. "Neither do I, Harry. Neither do I."

The two of them then sat back and silently kept each other company for several minutes before Harry cleared his throat and spoked with a forced cheer. "So, what's the plan with the Dursleys?"

Albus grinned.

Mr. and Mrs. Dursley of Number 4 Privet Drive were perfectly normal, thank you very much! There was nothing outstanding or overly interesting about them or their house. Oh, it was certainly a point of pride that their flower beds had won the neighborhood competition for five years running, but they were not abnormally spectacular. Mr. Dursley had a perfectly respectable job at Grunnings as a manager, and a perfectly respectable job was a perfectly normal thing to have.

They also had a perfectly normal son, Dudley, attending Smeltings Academy. He was a wonderful and extremely fit boy (despite the unreasonable warnings they regularly received from the school nurse regarding him being unhealthily overweight), who had a lovely group of respectable young friends in the neighborhood (despite the false rumors that occasionally circulated about him leading them as a gaggle of bullies). He was his parents' pride and joy and would soon be returning for the summer.

The lone aspect of their lives that marred that perfect normality was Petunia's immensely abnormal nephew, Harry Potter. Despite their best efforts, they had not managed to raise him to be normal. While they knew that in two weeks, they would need pick up the abnormal boy from his school that taught him to be increasingly abnormal, they chose to ignore his existence and simply enjoy the pleasant Sunday afternoon.

Vernon sat reading a newspaper, as Petunia reviewed her recipe book to decide on what special meals to make for her darling Duddiekins, when he came home next week. The lovely silence was broken by the doorbell and a knocking on the door.

"Ruddy salesmen" grumbled Vernon. "Don't get up Pet, I'll send them away. Maybe give them a telling off for interrupting an honest person's evening."

Petunia smiled gratefully as Vernon stood and walked out of the living room, and towards the entrance hall. She always did enjoy listening to her husband putting people into their proper place. Sadly, she was to be disappointed on this evening as she heard Vernon open the door and begin speaking in a harsh voice.

"Now listen here, we aren't interested in buying… boy! What are you doing here? And, you! Who are you!?"

An elderly voice responded. "Ah, Vernon, it is wonderful to finally meet you in person. Harry's words hardly do justice in describing you. May we enter?"

"You most certainly may not!"

The sound of the door hinges creaking could be easily heard.

"What, in the ruddy hell, are you doing? You can't just be using your… abnormality in my house. Now, step outside, stop doing whatever you are doing to keep my door open, and let me slam in your freakish faces!"

"Oh, Vernon, Harry never mentioned what a jokester you are. Very droll. Ah, hello Petunia!"

Petunia stared in shock as her hated nephew and the man, who she recognized from Lily's pictures to be Albus Dumbledore, walked into the living room. Vernon following, with his face purpling in rage.

"Petunia, you are looking as lovely as ever. Vernon, please take a seat as we have much to discuss."

Vernon stared at the wand in Dumbledore's hand, and sat down stiffly on the couch next to Petunia. Dumbledore waved his wand, and there was suddenly a new couch in the room which he and Potter sat on.

Dumbledore then caused a tea set to appear on the table in front of the couches. He prepared a cup for Potter and then himself. He took a sip, and then gestured with his hand to offer tea to the Dursleys. They, unsurprisingly, ignored the offered tea.

After another sip, Dumbledore spoke up. "I hope you can forgive the intrusion, however there was a development at Hogwarts that requires your immediate attention. I won't bore you with the details, so it should suffice to say there were a series of unfortunate events that occurred over the course of the school year. These events have culminated in young Harry's expulsion from Hogwarts, hence his earlier than expected arrival."

Vernon smiled cruelly. "So, they finally showed a little bit of intelligence and decided you didn't belong with them either, eh boy?"

Potter's head bowed down. "Yes, Uncle Vernon."

"Well, I guess you'll finally be done with that abnormal freakishness and learn what it means to be normal!"

Dumbledore cleared his throat. "Ah, Vernon, your goodness knows no bounds. It is very kind of you to try to limit the emotional impact of Harry's magical education coming to end, by calling magic abnormal freakishness. However, you need not fear. Harry has hired me on as his personal tutor, so I can continue his education."

"What!?" both Vernon and Petunia spoke at the same time.

"Of course, the nature of these private tutorships means that I will be living here with you. I understand you have a guest room, so I will happily accept the offer I am sure you were about to make. And this room we are in now will make a wonderful teaching room, though it is a bit lacking…"

To the horrific shock of Vernon and Petunia Dursley, Dumbledore began waving his wand around in incomprehensible patterns. The room slowly began to increase in size, until it was at ten times as large as it had been. Bookshelves began filling all the new wall space, as the blocked fireplace became unblocked and increased to be large enough for a person to comfortably stand inside. Gas lamps burst out of the walls and lit with flames that cycled through every color of the rainbow.

"Excellent!" spoke a happy Dumbledore. "Now, just to populate those shelves..."

Dumbledore pulled a miniature trunk from his pocket, which expanded with a single tap of his wand. The trunk opened suddenly, and various books and unknowable knick-knacks began to fly out of the trunk at impossible speeds. Before the shock had worn off of the Dursleys, the shelves were filled with books, golden items that puffed smoke, jars full of eyes that were somehow still blinking every few seconds, and so many other items that practically screamed magic (and one book that literally screamed as it jumped out of the bookshelf and ran up the stairs).

"And there we go. As you can clearly see, Harry has the future of his education fully in hand" spoke a beaming Dumbledore.

"NO!" bellowed Vernon, who had finally gotten over his shock. "NO! You will not be doing any of that freakishness in my house! I forbid it!"

Dumbledore frowned, as Potter kept his head lowered and face hidden.

"Vernon" spoke a concerned Dumbledore. "My dear fellow, the law is quite clear in this regard. This is Harry's home, and I am Harry's personal tutor. Harry will be able to use his magic freely in this house, and as such he needs to have the appropriate environment for learning."

Vernon's face paled. The idea of Potter being able to perform his… to do THAT inside their home… it didn't bear thinking. "Then, consider yourself fired!"

Dumbledore smiled sadly. "I'm afraid that the law only gives Harry the power to fire me."

Vernon turned, and viciously pointed his finger at Potter. "Boy! Fire him, now!"

Potter lifted his head, and instead of seeing a meek expression, Vernon saw a look of pure resolve. When the boy spoke, it was softly and firmly. "No."

"Yes!"

"No."

"You will fire him right now, Boy, or you will regret it!"

Potter lifted his wand, spoke nonsense words, and Vernon watched as his armchair floated up in the air. It performed a full circuit of the room through the air, and then was set back down where it had been sitting initially.

Silence followed. The last time the boy had performed his freakishness over the previous summer, it was only a matter of minutes before a letter was received warning him that he was not allowed to be an obvious freak outside of school. Vernon and Petunia were both waiting for the inevitable owl.

The silence was unbroken (save silent sips of tea from Potter and Dumbledore) for five minutes. Then, the sound of fluttering wings was heard, and an owl came flying through an open window in the kitchen. It dropped a letter on Potter's lap and then flew off.

Vernon smiled vindictively as Potter opened the letter and read it out loud.

"Dear Mister Potter,

We have received intelligence that a Hover Charm was used by your wand at your place of residence this afternoon at five minutes past four.

As you know, underage wizards are not permitted to perform spells outside school, however we received the appropriate forms this morning indicating your withdrawal from Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry, and subsequent hiring of Albus Dumbledore as your personal tutor. As such, this letter is to inform you that you are now officially exempt from all restrictions for underage magic usage. Additionally, to avoid unnecessary confusion, the Trace on you and your wand has now been deactivated.

We would also ask you to remember that any magical activity that risks notice by members of the non-magical community (Muggles) is a serious offence under section 13 of the International Statute of Wizarding Secrecy.

Enjoy your holidays! Yours sincerely,

Mafalda Hopkirk

IMPROPER USE OF MAGIC OFFICE

Ministry of Magic"

Both Dursleys listened with growing horror. Not only was the doddering old Dumbledore destroying their home, but Potter now could fight back with impunity. As the two of them looked at Potter, they wondered what his smile meant. If they were in his place, they knew that they would not be gentle.

"Get out! Find somewhere else to live!" This time it was Petunia who spoke.

"Petunia" spoke a suddenly nervous Dumbledore. "You can't mean that. Harry is of your blood. He is your family. You can't just deny him his home and family."

"I do mean it! I deny him a place in my house, AND I deny that he is my family."

"Petunia!" Dumbledore spoke louder and more urgently. "Please, take that back. Harry IS your family!"

"NO! Harry IS NOT my family!"

"Please, Petunia" Dumbledore now pled. "Harry James Potter IS your family. You can't just deny your relationship."

Petunia's face had transformed to one of pure rage. "I can't deny it!? I CAN'T deny it!? I DO DENY IT! HARRY JAMES POTTER IS NOT MY FAMILY AND I DENY ANY RELATIONSHIP EXISTS!"

Petunia was anticipating seeing the mighty Albus Dumbledore crawling on his hands and knees. Finally, the old man would pay for dismissing her as a child. She felt powerful!

Albus Dumbledore did not beg. He did not crawl. He shrugged.

To clarify he shrugged with a complete lack of concern, and then pulled out his wand. With a wave, all the items from his trunk flew back in, the room decreased in size, and all modifications disappeared. He and Harry stood up, and the tea set and couch disappeared.

"Oh well, Harry, I tried. As the law requires, your aunt was given two chances to recant her denial of family. Petunia, in the magical world you are no longer legally related to Harry and so this is no longer his residence. We will be heading on out now."

Petunia was shocked. "So… he's no longer going to live here?"

"That's correct. Oh, I did forget to mention that Harry happened to kill a dangerous beast this year that will earn him a small fortune. Enough that you could have easily retired today and live a life of mild luxury. Of course, you are no longer legally entitled to any of those funds, though I know you wouldn't have accepted the money from Harry's hard work anyway. I just wanted you to know so that you weren't afraid for his future financial health as he went off on his own."

Vernon stuttered at that. "Money? Fortune!? But…"

Dumbledore kept talking. "Well, we should be off. I wouldn't worry too much about how you just destroyed all the protections on the house that kept you safe from malicious magic users. It's not like moving would help you that much, nor is there anything you can do, so worrying won't help anything. Off we go, Harry!"

As the door closed, the Dursleys sat in shocked silence.

In Dudley Dursley's room, a forgotten book sat under the bed. Waiting to scream and attack the next person it saw.

Right after the door closed, Harry watched Albus walk to the border of the property. He waited patiently as Albus moved his wand in complex patterns while walking the full perimeter of the property. The whole process took less than five minutes.

Once Albus was done, he beckoned for Harry to follow. The two walked to Mrs. Figg's house in silence.

Once indoors again, Harry turned to Albus. "What did you do to their house?"

"Well, as fun as it is to fill them with paranoia, I don't wish to leave them completely undefended. So, I put a ward down that will convince people that you don't care about what happens to the Dursleys and they don't care about what happens to you. It helps that it is simply reinforcing something that is mostly true. It should work well enough to keep people from attacking them in order to either blackmail you or appease you."

Harry narrowed his eyes as he stared at Albus. "What else does it do?"

"What makes you think it does anything else?"

"Well, you seem a bit too pleased with yourself. Also, you keep whistling nonchalantly every time you stop talking."

Albus chuckled. "Well, I did add a little something to help them get over their obsession with normality."

"Like?"

"Their grass will always be cut to a quarter of an inch shorter than their neighbors. Its growth will be held back until it sprouts up overnight to a quarter of an inch taller than their neighbors. Their house will invoke a sense of being just slightly abnormal. When people look at your aunt and uncle, they will think there is something undefinably slightly weird about them. And their flowers will always rate as second place in their neighborhood competitions."

Harry looked at the man, feeling the familiar sense of shock and surprise that he encountered so many times during this day. Finally, he chuckled. "You can really be a right bastard when you want to be, can't you?"

Albus looked down over the top of his glasses at Harry with a serious expression. The expression stayed for several uncomfortable seconds, and then was broken by a smirk as he placed his hand on Harry's shoulder.

"Harry, as my brother would readily tell you, I have always been a right bastard. Luckily for you, I am YOUR right bastard!"

Without even the slightest sound, Albus twisted and the two disappeared.