I know my parents are proud this is what I'm doing with my college education-

With This Ring Minus 48 Charisma

Chapter 2

Matthew's eyes roamed everywhere from the floor to the diner's counter and the machinery behind it. He didn't usually have this much trouble on dates. He was supposed to be the heart-breaker, the kind of man any innocent lady's mother would look at and slam the door in his face at first encounter. But Marsha dried his throat out, sent his heart racing and made him want to hold the door and her hand even in public to let everyone know who stole his heart and didn't seem to have plans to cough it up.

Dear God, was that what it meant to fall for someone? Your brain gets rewired? Suddenly, all of Matthew's normal concerns about getting his lady companion away from this crowded location and to the privacy of a hotel bedroom were thrown out the window gladly.

Marsha didn't seem to notice his breakdown, sweet Marsha. She just continued talking about her day at work, sometimes getting a little too loud and faintly blushing when other people cast annoyed looks her way. Other times she curled her wavy black locks as she was in thought about what commentary she could add, and there was no way she could know how such simple acts made him daydream right then and there something...not sexual for a change, rather, he wanted to take her to some abandoned field and stick wildflowers in her hair while she talked forever.

When Hancock read that part of the book, his first thought was surprise Joe and Jane's story ended so...abrupt and unfulfilling. But hey, Matthew and Marsha took their place and Hancock already regretted that purchase and hoped Daisy at least got a laugh out of it.

Did people really change when they found the love of their life? Hancock asked the question mockingly at first, then… Seriously evaluated his own life from the current time to a year back. Suddenly, he bristled as the BS thoughts attacked the in that vulnerable second. Seriously, one second. But he tried to remind himself that Nate wouldn't willingly seek him out if he didn't see something he liked. You know, aside from the fashion sense and stoner past that's actually still going strong. And that thought made him start smiling in spite of a head full of obnoxious thoughts – Nate viewed their relationship similarly to his with Nora. The only proof he had was the ring, and Nate's words should they have another awkward heart to heart chem-influenced.

"Something on your mind?" Nate asked, barely looking over his shoulder while he walked. Holy shit, he knew everything-

Picking up his pace, Hancock was able to be shoulder to shoulder with Nate as the truck stop and the bridge to Sanctuary appeared closer. He caught sight of those eyes he'd often lost himself in, though they weren't sparkling at the moment they betrayed his stoic face. He was clean enough to believe that he wasn't hallucinating concern breaking through.

"There's something I want to try tonight." Hancock probably didn't need to say that looking him right in the eyes while fingers crawled up his arm, but hey it made Nate hold his gaze while he explained a little less teasingly. "If we're not assigned to patrol or night watch, I'll take you up on that offer to watch the stars. You never know when the rain's gonna come back, after all."

Nate suddenly stepped around. Not only freezing Hancock in place because his route was blocked, but also because he took the opportunity to go in right for the kiss. as yet another symbol of how he felt of that idea.

It wasn't Hancock's intention to get carried away, but it was mere seconds before he cast self-consciousness and doubt to the wind in favor of returning it full force. If there was anyone currently walking the perimeter of the truck stop doing some upkeep, they would just have to see a show of the Commonwealth's living savior get his face seemingly mauled by his ghoul lover first thing in the morning.

Unfortunately, the fun was put on hold just when Hancock got a grasp of Nate's hips far too inappropriate for discussion in broad daylight. It took him all his strength not to whine a long string of curses once Nate's lips moved away, opening his eyes and seeing those beautiful brown ones almost look apologetic. But apologies don't mean anything to ignored libido.

"So we're just going to watch the stars?" Nate asked breathlessly, never changing his face.

"I bet you can get up to some sexy adventures just by taking it slow." Hancock said, maintaining eye contact and hoping his more subtle posture change hadn't been detected to fuck this up. "Don't misunderstand; I can't see myself getting tired of you, not when I've finally found someone who gets what being pinned down does to me. I still want the sex, but I think we should..." He trailed off, tongue twisting when Nate moved in closer and did the unthinkable: an embrace.

Hancock's whole body went stiff differently this time, as in his spine must have snapped in half with how rapidly his posture changed. He was immobilized, trapped like a jackass with his hands hovering on the sides of Nate unsure if moving to his hips again would kill the mood.

"Wholesome activity." Nate said delightfully close to his ear, setting Hancock's insides on fire more than radiation at that point. With his chin resting on his shoulder, he could feel the rumble of chuckling. "If I remember correctly, you said back in Third Rail you don't mind wholesome activity. Let's find out how much you can take tonight."

"Whatever you want."

"It's all up to me?" Nate made a hiss-like noise of regret, finally. "John, you can't do this; it'll bring the second apocalypse."

"Maybe so, but we need to be team when outside of gunfights too." Hancock's gaze landed on the ring on his finger, trying so damn hard not to smile excessively. "Now that I've wondered how people in your time survived without fucking out of wedlock, I need answers. You're the only one I want to fill in those blanks."

When Nate pulled himself back slightly, though still close enough to kiss, he was stoic as ever but his eyes were so much more openly affectionate. This son of a bitch looked at him like he was some kind of precious treasure, and that was just inaccurate. But Hancock could live with it, a fact he hoped to convey by letting Nate see him smile not as dreamily as before… But enough to make a point. Before he grabbed hips and pulled him back in for a frantic kiss.

"Do you think we should let them be, or…?" Preston said somewhere nearby, letting uncertainty slip into his voice.

"I can separate them." Sturges replied sounding close to Preston. Plus, he had a particularly matter of fact tone. "Two gardens are flooded, three water pumps are busted and the main generator almost fried that new family. But when all that's taken care of, they'll have...free time."

Hancock wasn't sure if Nate overheard that exchange too, but he every time a vaguely sensible part of him said it was time to reel in his mouth wasn't having any of that. There was no way Preston hadn't passed by the garage on a night Hancock asked Nate to pin him to the floor; he knew their normal.

"You could have anyone." Matthew said through gritting teeth, looking toward the crowd bitterly. "Marsha, I can't give you the life you deserve. I know I feel strongly about you, but what if that changes in a few years? Fuck, maybe even one year. Because I can't be tied down. I need variety." He just kept digging deeper, he knew that. He screamed inside to stop, but no amount shut his face. Not even when Marsha turned away from him and downed her drink like there was no tomorrow.

He could feel his eyes sting a bit, his teeth tear into his own lip and release a drop of blood by the time he was finished with his outburst. The world around him, the fact they were still in a crowded bar didn't process. Because all that mattered to him was doing the talking now, and just hoping with utter desperation he didn't destroy Marsha's image of him. But it was too late, wasn't it? She still wasn't looking his way, she probably wanted to get out of there and mark the time she spent with him as a waste.

"Find a better man." Matthew said, leaning on the counter and massaging his temples. "Find someone who surprises you with flowers when you're sick, pulls you into a dance when your favorite song comes on the radio or… Actually expresses emotion when you're in his arms."

"You are that man." Marsha said passionately, turning on the bar stool eyes blazing.

"If you could line up all my old girlfriends now, they'd agree I'm living trash." Matthew argued-

As thrilling as this new couple's story was, Nate caught him reading alone by the fire with his blank stare particularly piercing. The fact the book didn't land in the flames when Hancock eagerly jumped was downright miraculous.

It wasn't every evening Hancock had Nate behind him, strong hands covering his eyes as he guided him toward the unknown. Hancock was genuinely trying not to let his mind dip and ultimately sink into dirty thoughts. He needed to calm the fuck down if he wanted to not let the opportunity pass him by.

If Nate could use the L word, Hancock should be able to...in theory. But the book didn't provide the information he was searching for, although the non-sexual contact was still worth studying. People in the Pre-War days really got off on being prudish. Don't waste logic on that obvious truth because you'll just cry yourself to sleep in defeat.

"You can give a hint about what you've set up, right?" Hancock asked, making sure to put his eagerness and curiosity in the open. As if being honest with himself would keep his mind in this state and not let in the BS.

Nate just hummed insufferably. It lasted so long that it seemed he was toying with him. But even if Hancock pulled back his hands and turned to examine his face, he would probably find more emotion in a brick wall anyhow.

"Come on, I know all those repairs didn't give enough time to breathe… Let alone set up a cute little scene."

"We're almost there. Try to be a little patient?"

"Nate, would you be patient if you were fucking immortal?"

Nate made a thoughtful noise, but left that topic alone.

Hancock's anticipation made the walk seem like an eternity, but to say that was true would be ridiculous considering it really only lasted two or three minutes. Give or take. While they traveled, Hancock was somewhat distracted at times reaching for his hands and brushing them intimately while bystanders probably felt awkward.

Finally, Nate stopped and reeled his hands away. But he didn't have to tell him to open his eyes; Hancock's eyes flew open and cleared the darkness at unholy speed and he took in the...truck stop.

Not just the truck stop, of course. Nate positioned him at the front door into the store half, not facing the building but rather the watch tower he once threw together that didn't even reach the same height as the roof. But, stay with us, the watch tower had one medium sized uncovered pillow and a tattered blanket folded next to it with two bottles of beer. Not that the Mentat container lying there as well wasn't also a noteworthy addition.

"Approximately two hundred years ago, you could pick up your date in a car and drive until you find countryside… Then watch the stars and lose all track of time enjoying their company." Nate explained with his infinite wisdom. "Other than the potential concussion from hitting your head on the window during backseat sex, there's not many ways it can go wrong."

Hancock had many questions whirling in his mind, every one of them focused on the backseat sex. But as much as he would have liked to keep them around, he threw them aside hoping they'd crash into the BS. He could stay focused… He had to stay focused. He didn't mind the idea of doing non-sexual things with Nate, but doing them often enough and still walking away content would imply there was cause. Like a certain L word. But was it the same? The book hadn't exactly given the revelation he expected; all he learned was that romance novels had the tendency to include so much yet never actually reach the point of what brought the characters together. Even the idealism was shit.

When Nate walked in front of him, seemingly enveloped in the soft moonlight as he offered a hand… It looked like he was inviting him into some form of an afterlife. Lucky for him, Hancock was into it and took the offer. Astronomy, or what the fuck, might become interesting after a lifetime of indifference.

The watch tower being cramped for two was an obvious issue from the start. They didn't have a car, and the only raised terrain close enough also contained a certain Vault. And while Nate and some other poor soul tasked to help with repairs got on the top of the houses to make roofs, too much weight could undo the work. This was the only form of elevation around Sanctuary; they had to make it work...or at least attempt.

The outcome? Well instead of an awkward situation where one might have to sit on the other's lap, Nate seated himself on the platform letting his legs perch on the short wall and dangle over the edge. That was going to tear a goddamn muscle, but Hancock had already been there and done that so he wasn't worried of his own legs upon mimicking his position.

Fortunately, the weather was good. No rain, clouds or sickly green hue. Just a dark void full of twinkling stars to be enjoyed by a couple of freaks. If one were brave enough to write a romance novel nowadays, that would be a great place to start. Here's random two people out of a countless population, they found each other against the odds and you know you're curious enough about other people's private lives so let's delve.

"Fuck, it's been forever since I've seen the stars." Hancock muttered, looking to the sky and ignoring the clicking noise at his side. "I don't think I've even taken a second to go through comparing them to the Commonwealth. Like the Commonwealth's certainly screwed-"

With what could have been the sound of a bone in Nate's wrist getting mangled, the stubborn blockage in the bottle fell to the ground. Hancock's gaze slowly lowered, giving whatever garbage that was a somber look before Nate chugging booze like an addict.

"Well, show him you don't have a sex addiction to go with the chem."

"Unless, when all's said and done, you're too scared to make a move."

"Remember: you're spontaneous and unpredictable. Make Nate remember it, too."

The BS crackled like static and faded out when Hancock did make a move. There was no one around to ponder how effective the move was, but from his point of view an arm around the back would send a message. He remembered the whiplash-inducing marathon of dates between Joe and Jane where each touch was a transition. Hancock couldn't tell if Nate noticed this move, not with his eyes on the sky. So he followed his gaze and tried to relax.

Glimmering stars faintly lit up sections of the darkness. Hancock had his doubts anyone would truly believe him if he admitted he unintentionally held his breath taking it all in. Nate could nod politely if he told him, but it was debatable if even he believed.

"Isn't this the part where you show off what you learned in science class?" Hancock asked with a dash of mischief.

Science class sobered Nate up immediately, or at least that was what it looked like when he set the bottle down and stared beyond the stars into another dimension. Did he even notice Hancock leaning forward, wondering if a finger snap or shout in his ear would pull him back?

"Would you… Would you believe me if I said I've barely retained anything I learned in science class?" Nate finally asked gravely, still staring through the planet.

"Easily."

Nate winced and gradually tore his eyes from the sky to Hancock. His face lightened up on the stoic for a moment of uncertainty. Hancock closed any remaining distance between their sides, finding a resting place for his cheek on Nate's shoulder.

"Just share some of these, and pull some fake science out your ass." Hancock requested, grabbing the nearby Mentat container and swaying it in front of Nate's face.

"Science isn't the conversation route I'm used to on a date." Nate replied promptly and, for his lifeless level, impishly.

"Sounds like someone has more experience than he lets on." Genuine awe slipped into Hancock's voice to fast for him to restrain. "Enlighten me."

"That's classified information." Nate's rapid monotone switch truly helped that statement fuel synth theories-

Hancock let out a sigh. Though his next move of slinging a leg over Nate's and finding a resting spot halfway on his lap before looking right in his eyes and slowly inserting a Mentat in his own mouth hoped to convey he wasn't giving up. He really didn't have to keep his fingertip grazing the edge of his tongue either, but… Well, it was build up for him to lean forward and make contact with Nate's mouth.

He really did want to know just how experienced Nate was with these star-gazing dates, although Hancock's mind did briefly shut off again as Nate's arms encircled his frame and he kissed him back with more passion than his words could pull off.

"Good fucking God!" Someone shrieked nearby.

Hancock and Nate's mouths separated, though they kept their limb entanglement because releasing the other might cause them to fall off the platform. That was a good excuse, right?

"Hush!" Another voice scolded, this one at enough volume to be understood as male. "This is the kind of action you might run into in larger settlements. Don't look like a prude!"

A scan of the path beside the truck stop showed the two interrupting settlers making their way to Sanctuary. The two men looked to be in their mid to late twenties, dressed ill-prepared for a fight like they came from a smaller settlement.

"What?" The louder man huffed, gesturing vaguely beyond the truck stop. "That report over the radio wasn't lying about real shelter. We can sleep without worrying about stray bullets now! Get your priorities in order..."

"Before Nora, my love life really wasn't...there." Nate began with eloquence right out of the damn gate. "I did have four girlfriends in total, but only one relationship lasted longer than a month. And then there was one man who I didn't see often enough to consider him a boyfriend, but if it weren't for him I might not have realized liking men and women has nothing to do with my morality."

"I actually envy that – the four… Maybe-not-really partner count." Hancock cut in, closing the distance again and resting his cheek on his shoulder without subtlety. "I've wasted so many nights for almost every person who's also high out of their mind, and not just because I wasn't feeling a connection. Not just because my dick made them gag before ever we even started. I've had to talk to them again so many times after that, sometimes for business and sometimes for the hell of it."

"At least you had a good conversation starter?" Nate could have dislocated his shoulder if he kept tensing while drawing out those, um, comforting words.

"But the most insane part is: one of those encounters didn't leave me picking myself up from some disgusting floor, dressing fast as fuck and leaving before he woke up. I stayed for… Yeah, the first time. I wanted to be the one of the first things he saw, not because it would amuse me for a second if he yelled and scrambled to the corner." Hancock realized he was getting to talk way longer than he needed. He peeked up at Nate just staring blankly, and he cleared his throat. "To the corner of a garage. The garage right over there, if I recall. Guy could have been your twin. Fucking… Do you know what I mean?"

"I could always say 'you must have had a deeper reason for wanting sex with the same person', but should I? What are you really thinking deep down, John?"

Hancock hoped that when he lowered his gaze to the ring, Nate's eyes followed him there and were able to...walk him through what shenanigans were bouncing off the walls in his mind.

It wasn't often John willingly walked onto any church's property, but tonight he held his tongue on some of his opinions of God versus science. Mainly the one where neither felt like suitable rulers over his life. But they were going with tradition, and so he allowed Nate to sweet talk him into wearing a more formal jacket and pants like his. He just hoped Nate would allow him to be the one to get him out of those clothes when the party was over, yes he thought it. Even if they weren't in God's house any more, the outside area could be considered the holy backyard.

Everyone else drifting to either fill up on desserts or find people from their past to argue pointlessly with meant John had a spare moment with Nate. They were still in the center of the yard, slowly releasing each other after the horrifyingly awkward attempt at slow dancing we don't need to mention until the pastor mails a damage report.

John didn't want to admit it… But the atmosphere was getting to him. It was a great idea to do this at night; Nate's breath-taking brown eyes turned amber even in the candlelight, and that made every second their eyes had contact weaken his knees. Nate looked at him as if he were someone of genuine worth, but while John didn't agree that was a debate for another time. For now, he grabbed Nate's sleeve and added some deep wrinkles and worn spots as he used that alone to balance them while he pressed himself to Nate on the borderline of appropriate public display of affection and let their lips and tongues "talk".

"You wouldn't believe this shit if I told you." Hancock tried to warn him, though he was saying it to Nate's stoic face… During a time Nate's brain was most likely in its prime and he was reading every minor piece of body language and decoding it accurately.

"There he is!" Yet another unfamiliar voice yelled nearby, although the volume didn't cover up this was a woman...possibly on Psycho. "I want that bastard's head, and all his Minutemen weapon stockpile at my feet in one minute or the saddest fucks get a throat carving!"

Hancock and Nate looked down at the leader and at least a dozen other people dressed in typical raider attire and either aiming their guns or reeling back their throwing arm with a grenade seconds away from having the pin pulled.

Even while they were both crouched over the corpse of one of the unfortunately over-confident raiders, Hancock even having to struggle to withdraw his knife from the back of the equally lifeless leader's neck, they couldn't stop stealing glances at both each other and the sky. Hancock didn't know if Nate felt this way, but he was annoyed by the clouds beginning to drift and cover the stars.

Hancock wasn't ready to drag himself to a mattress, tell himself he accomplished what he wanted when in reality he still didn't know what the ring meant for them. Although the Mentats in his system reminded him sentimental conversation wouldn't be the most effective surrounded by blood and death.

The aftermath of the fight didn't seem to slow Nate's brain, however. As if anyone would expect otherwise from him. Though they didn't have their mood lighting, Nate approached and crouched next to him like they were in the most ideal romantic setting from his time. Whatever that was.

"John, it's alright if you can't whip out some wedding vows at a moment's notice."

There was the smallest, most insignificant moment Hancock swore he heard glass breaking as a symbol of his fragile little brain. He looked up at Nate while he aimlessly jiggled the knife stuck in the raider leader's neck, after all there was nothing to salvage this moment.

Hancock couldn't stop himself from shaking his head once, then another for good measure. It would have been so great if he stopped there, let Nate put the pieces together in his head and say what he wanted and needed to. Who did it really benefit, though?

"You deserve to know you're wanted." At the point of no return, Hancock turned to be eye to eye with Nate and let him see every anxious eye flicker or facial malfunction. "But I'm not the kind of guy to get attached from fucking; at least I thought I wasn't. It just had to be for someone who deserves to hear the L word back with some feeling. What we do, it's- It's the best I've ever had, but is that because you're just good at it or… Could I..." And by the end, his words crashed horrifically without earth-shattering revelation.

A crease appeared under Nate's eye, either silent contentment or some combination of booze and chems fucking with his face as well. Hancock… He didn't know what it meant, but anxiety sickness welling in his throat and stomach motivated him to take that as a good sign. Even if it was all in his head, he needed hope somewhere.

"Could I have caught something, but I either didn't know the meaning or couldn't bring myself to say it?" Hancock finished. It was over. He was over. He probably should have kissed Nate with all the unfamiliar emotion blazing off the charts, but honestly he felt ready to vomit any second from leftover worry.

It would have been great if Nate reacted in some way, but the crease left that spot under his eye and his face was right back to unreadable while he rested his chin on his knuckles. Shit, he was increasing the difficulty with a new pose.

"You don't even have to go down the science path." Hancock just kept rambling, conscious of it but unable to hold back. "Every other conversation we have on the road, you drill for the most random thought in my head. Well now I want to know your thoughts. Anything, Nate. Give me some kind of clue about what I'm feeling, and I'll use it. I need so much help, fucking..." Hancock would have likely found more pointless words to avoid guessing a name for his own feelings, but there was a breakthrough out of nowhere.

Well, not a breakthrough so much as timely interruption. Whatever it was, Hancock slowly processed the fact Nate leaned in much closer and pecked his forehead soothingly. Whether or not he intended for soothing would remain a mystery, though Hancock was willing to believe he simply knew him enough that a small gesture like that would make his mind swerve from the previous topic to the next. Hancock quickly lined his mouth up when he reeled back, catching his lips for a more traditional kiss.

They had to be a very normal sight from peeping distance; clothes splattered with other people's blood surrounded by their corpses. If this whole evening hadn't proven romance was dead in the Commonwealth, there you go.

They could have been kissing for seconds, minutes… Hancock anticipated another interruption at any moment. The area might have looked calm, but that had to be an illusion. If someone didn't fire ten missiles at Sanctuary-

Nate was the one to hesitantly break the kiss, although once he reeled back to look at him properly he was surrounded in a soft glow from the stars and had a crease under both eyes. "Even though our relationship reached steps out of order, if I had waited until a night like this to say 'I love you' and offer the ring… I would have prepared you to hear it by sprinkling some hints."

"Hints?" Hancock regretted asking immediately as the dread set in.

"Dates aren't just a chance to be alone with a special someone in peaceful silence. Those gifted with words open up about the moment they realized their feelings, and- Well, what you did."

"You know I've enjoyed every round of sex, but… I've got to stop you there." Hancock corrected him, voice lowering as he leaned closer to his ear. "There's at least four moments I could pick as the one where I realized you matter to me. The whole foundation's not built on sex."

"I...didn't know." A confession which Hancock couldn't help but believe when Nate said it with a small gasp, expressing himself for the first time in...

"And I didn't expect you to think anything else." Hancock confessed as well, casually cycling through examining his fingers and rubbing a tense spot on in his neck. "You have more reasons to avoid sex for fun these days. Even doing it for making kids is a risk. But despite that, you'll find a lot of people would rather show someone how close they are instead of telling. Less chance of getting-"

"LOOKS LIKE A HUMAN FEAST!" A deep and menacing voice thundered nearby, followed up by battle cries of what sounded like either ten or eleven super mutants.

Hancock shut his eyes and inhaled, hoping that after a moment or so everything around him except for Nate and a bottle of beer would be fucking gone.

Chaos broke out as Nate, some of his friends and even people who had only recently arrived in Sanctuary less than two days ago armed themselves and took their attack or defense positions. Hancock somehow didn't get destroyed by the rain of bullets being fired from the super mutant side as he took his time standing and loading his shotgun.

Unprovoked super mutant attacks might call for more attention than most, but Hancock was just going through the motions at that point. The fight probably had a lot of close calls and dramatic moments, but they went right over his head as his body moved purely out of habit. As if it compared to that time on the hotel roof, you know, with having to count each step as to not become a blood smear on the ground.

The world doesn't calm down while you're having a breakthrough, sentimental conversation. It certainly doesn't stop the clouds from finally blocking the view of stars as the battle comes to an end, and there's too many corpses and people around to regain the semi-peaceful atmosphere from before.

Despite the interruptions, Hancock considered this evening a success. He didn't tell Nate everything, but later in the night when they crashed on a mattress in the truck stop he realized his chest wasn't tightening from stress. In the aftermath of speaking a little more personally, of course there were fleeting seconds of embarrassment when he was caught lying awake going over the events and wondering where he'd go from there… Where they were going, to be precise.

"Just don't become comfortable." The BS thoughts griped farther into his mind. "You did have opportunities to say whether or not what you're feeling is love, but the world wasn't what stopped that. It was all you. And if you really were in love with Nate, don't you think you would have blurted it by now? At least by accident. People are dumb when they get high off emotions… Not that you would know anything about that kind of high."

Hancock rolled from his left to right, facing the back of Nate's head while he was in what had to be a deep sleep considering he didn't respond other than shifting slightly when his hand reached out and trailed down his spine. He considered pressing his palm against his back, stir him from his sleep to ask right then and there if their lack of progress tonight was his own fault. He didn't go through with it.

While the BS thoughts continued to complain and tear down any hope he might have built that night, Hancock closed the small distance between them on that mattress by inching toward him with the stealth of a nuke. He didn't know that just having someone sleep next to him could be some kind of event, up until the last year or so. He had been missing out. But since he opened up, he felt like if he were caught nuzzling his shoulder and holding him close by a single arm he wouldn't think it was weird.

What could possibly be weird about their relationship at that point, anyhow?

TBC