Lily opened her eyes just as soon as she could feel things again. As soon as she saw the stony, smooth ceiling, she immediately knew where she was. She had no idea how, but that didn't matter. Only one thing did.
"Pomfrey!" she said as loudly as she could with her crackly voice. "Pomfrey!"
Her body ached, but not from the pain she felt before. It felt more like misuse. She wondered how many days she was sleeping for this time, and whether or not this yearly tradition would continue during her time at Beauxbatons. Hopefully those beds would be just as comfortable.
"Pomfrey!" she said once more.
The curtains were pulled open, and Madame Pomfrey stepped inside, looking relieved.
"You had us worried, Potter," she said, "but-"
"Hermione," Lily said quickly, trying to sit up. "Is Hermione alright?"
Pomfrey's lips became a tight line. Lily felt her heart sink.
"Perhaps this should wait until-"
"Please," Lily said desperately, pulling at her hair. "Is she- she has to be- I can't-"
"Miss Granger will live," Pomfrey said. "Her injuries were more severe than your own, but-"
"Oh, thank Merlin," Lily said, leaning back into her cushions and closing her eyes. "I- Merlin, I almost-"
"If you're feeling up to it, Potter," Pomfrey continued, "I was supposed to bring you to the Headmaster immediately after you woke. I will delay for a few hours, if you would prefer to open your gifts first."
"Gifts?" Lily asked, wondering if she heard correctly, her eyes opening back up.
"Your friends were very worried for your safety, Potter," Pomfrey said, momentarily leaving the curtain. "You had us all worried. Didn't seem to be breathing, and with as pale as you were, and with the lack of flow from your wounds, I worried your blood was drained."
"Really?" Lily said quietly. She looked down at her hands. She felt surprisingly warm all over.
"You've been sleeping for seven days," Pomfrey said. She brought a cart back between the curtains with her.
"You're joking," Lily said.
"Your exams begin tomorrow," Pomfrey said with a small smile. "Granger will be missing them."
"She-" Lily swallowed away the lump in her throat. "She- she didn't- didn't get bit, did she?"
"No, thank Merlin," Pomfrey said. "But, well- I think it's best if the Headmaster tells you the rest."
"I tried to heal her," Lily admitted quietly.
"And it's a good thing you did," Pomfrey said. Lily looked up, surprised to see a smile. "I know I warned you not to, Potter, but if you hadn't, she would have died. You managed to do just enough to keep her stable until we could arrive. You saved her life."
"Where is she?" Lily asked. All she could see was the inside of her curtains and the smile vanishing from Pomfrey's lips.
"Not here, I'm afraid," Pomfrey said. "Nasty business, werewolf injuries. I only had enough on hand to heal yours. Black's lucky he got his in his animagus form. Werewolves can't leave the same sort of injuries on animals, and that's what carried over."
"Peter!" Lily said suddenly. "Did-"
"If you're going to keep asking questions, I'll bring you to Dumbledore," Pomfrey said sternly. "Relax, Potter, and open your gifts. I'll come for you in a few hours. You could use the rest."
Lily stared at the cart as Pomfrey pushed it to be closer to her hands. She was surprised at how large the pile was, surprised at how many cards and packages were piled onto the small cart.
She didn't think this many people cared. She reached for the first one that caught her eye. She'd recognize that scrawl anywhere.
Katie left her a note with a single, ominous phrase: We need to talk. It was written on a pink card with lots of hearts on it. Lily agreed, although it scared her. Katie deserved that much, at least.
Sae got her a new set of Quidditch gloves, which was quite thoughtful; her new ones were wearing thin. She wondered if Beauxbatons had a Quidditch league of their own. She'd have to find some other way to play if they didn't. Perhaps Ron would be- Merlin, she just realized she didn't ask if Ron was okay.
His gift told her he was. He got her a large box of chocolates. For the dementors, it read. She shoved three pieces into her mouth before she moved on. Oh, and just wait until you hear about what happened. You'll think it's wicked.
Neville got her three Concentration Potions. So you can focus during exams. She wondered if those were even allowed, but she supposed it wouldn't matter if she didn't tell anybody she was drinking them. She just hoped Neville didn't brew them himself. The boy was miserable at Potions, even with her notes to help him.
Most of the second and first year Slytherins chipped in to get her a new set of Quidditch robes. Lily supposed that was to go with the gloves Sae got her. It still surprised her. She felt like she'd hardly said a word to any of them, even though Sae and Hermione spent most of their free time talking with and helping them. Lily was just so focused on what she had going on.
On second thought, and glancing at the gloves, Sae probably forced them into it. Bless her.
The one exception to the first years was Penelope Midgen, the only girl she spent any amount of time around. From her, Lily unwrapped a large frame containing a very detailed drawing. Lily had no idea how long Penny was working on it, nor when she even had the time to study the source material.
It was her, sleeping on the couch in the common room, a book laying open on her chest. It wasn't moving (Lily always did that part for her), but it did have the proper runes hidden in the corners. Occasionally, a hazy figure or two would walk through the background, Slytherin students on their way to classes or lunch or wherever. The sleeping Lily paid them no mind, although she'd occasionally scratch at the scar on her forehead, or move slightly to get more comfortable.
Lily brought her trembling hand up to her mouth, trying to hide how wide her smile was. It hurt her face. It felt like she hadn't felt this happy in ages. There was plenty wrong with it, the critical part of her brain told her that much, but she didn't care. She loved it. She'd never seen something so beautiful.
It was going in the treasure box for certain.
Pomfrey knocked on Dumbledore's door. Lily took the moment to compose herself, taking a deep, shaky breath and rubbing at her puffy eyes. She definitely felt like she spent the past two hours crying. She was sure she looked it, too. Everything just felt so unreal. She felt like she shouldn't be here, but that so many people noticed her absence and cared to send her anything was more than she ever would have expected.
The loud talking inside ceased immediately. Pomfrey nodded once to Lily, placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, and then began her journey back downstairs. Lily pushed the door open, taking one last rub at her eyes.
Dumbledore was sitting at his desk, two familiar gentlemen taking up the seats in front of him. Lily continued standing awkwardly in the doorway, not sure if she should come forward. She didn't like the look the Minister was giving her or the men he was sitting near. Dumbledore smiled at her.
"Have a seat, Hazel," he said, gesturing to a third, empty armchair between Sirius Black and Cornelius Fudge. The worst seat of the entire room, actually.
"I should be off, Dumbledore," Fudge said uncomfortably, placing his green bowler hat back on his head. "Lots of paperwork work to do if Black's to be cleared. Still have to arrange for the Wizengamot to convene, and we'll need Crouch to testify, which means his work will need to be paused at such a busy time. Much to do, much to do."
"By all means, take your time," Black said with a tight smile, running a hand through his now much cleaner hair. "What's another decade or two in Azkaban?"
"Now, really, Black," Fudge said, his face turning red, "I've already given you a full apology, what else do you-"
"Twelve years, Minister," Sirius said, voice full of spite. "Twelve years, you lot held me in Azkaban without so much as a peep into if I was guilty. Can you give me those years back with my goddaughter?"
"We'll consider it time served for being an unregistered Animagus," Fudge said, pulling his tie tight around his neck, another hand moving to take his hat from his head. Lily assumed it was a dominance thing, but it made him look like a bald goose. Sirius opened his mouth to further argue, but Dumbledore spoke first.
"I will walk with you, Minister," he said, his eyes twinkling at her. "I will return momentarily, Hazel. Please, do make yourself comfortable."
Lily wasn't sure if she wanted to be left alone with someone she, until very recently, thought wanted her dead, but that seemed to be exactly what Dumbledore intended. He herded Fudge from the room as quickly as he could, leaving both of them only with the sound of the snoring portraits above.
Lily shuffled her feet, hands wringing together, trying her absolute best not to look at Sirius Black. She could almost feel him staring at her. She pretended to be very interested in a silver rod laying on Dumbledore's desk.
"Thanks," Black said after far too long. "I wouldn't be free if it wasn't for you."
"Pettigrew's caught, then?" Lily asked, still not looking at him.
"That friend of yours caught him," Sirius said. "Ron? Stunned him before he got away. I'm told it was a great shot. Would have loved to be there to see it."
"How are we here?" Lily asked.
"Don't right know," Sirius said. "I think Dumbledore will tell you once he gets back. They've been keeping me in an office while they questioned me and Peter. Haven't been given many answers, yet."
Lily hesitated for a moment longer and then finally turned to look at her godfather.
Sirius Black was still looking just as tired, just as haggard, but his hair was well-groomed and lice free now. He shaved all the stubble from his cheeks and someone must have given his teeth a very thorough cleaning, based on how white they now were. Lily wondered why Snape never did the same. His fancy, dark blue robes hung loose on his body, and the haunted look was still in his eyes, but his smile was genuine, and he seemed happy just to be in the same room as her.
"I visited your aunt and uncle before the Weasleys," Sirius said to break the silence.
"What did they say?" Lily asked quietly. This wasn't what she wanted to talk about, but she kept looking at him, even as she began chewing her lip. Lupin wanted her to speak to more people about them. She supposed she could at least try.
"Very little, actually," Sirius said with a laugh. "I couldn't actually approach. Ministry was watching the place. Best I could do was hide in their hedges, trying to listen in. Never heard a peep about you."
Lily wished she wasn't surprised. She wished that the thought didn't hurt her, didn't nearly bring tears to her eyes. But it did. It felt like one final rejection, and it still hurt.
"I suppose you'll be heading back there once term is over," Sirius said. "You won't need to stay away for your protection anymore, now that-"
"I can't go back," Lily said, shaking her head slowly. "They got rid of me two years ago."
"What?" Sirius said. "Why? You were supposed to be-"
"They didn't want me," Lily said with a simple shrug. If Sirius didn't know, she didn't want to break the news to him so soon. "I'm living with- with the Weasleys, now."
"I thought it was just temporary," Sirius said. "I thought- I thought I'd just gotten lucky you were there. You don't know how happy I was to see you."
"You knew it was me?" Lily asked.
Sirius laughed again. "Course I did. Aside from you being in the papers, you look just like your-"
"Don't," Lily said quickly.
"I suppose you would be sick of hearing it," Sirius said with a laugh. "You must hear it ten times a day."
"It's not that," Lily admitted. "I- she- she wouldn't like what I- who I am. I don't deserve to be-"
"Lily?" Sirius interrupted, sounding horrified. "Hazel, Lily loved you, you should have seen how hard she sobbed when she held you the first time, how happy she was, how happy they were. I never saw James cry before you were born, not once, not even at their wedding, but he did then. You were all they ever wanted."
Lily stared down at her feet. Sirius didn't understand, either. None of them ever did.
"That's not what I meant," Lily said. Once, when somebody told her all those things, it would have made her feel better than anything.
But not anymore.
"Then, what?" Sirius asked.
"She was perfect," Lily said in a whisper. "And- and I'm not."
"Hazel, if there's one thing I can assure you of, it's that Lily Evans was not perfect," Sirius said with a smirk. "Sure, all the professors thought she was, but they didn't know her, not really. Lily just knew how to not get caught."
"Really?" Lily asked, finding that very hard to believe.
"Your father and I, we were too stupid, even with the cloak and map," Sirius continued. "We couldn't help ourselves. We'd always do something to give ourselves away. Hell, getting the detentions was half the fun. But your mother? She was always sneaking out, too, but she never got caught."
"She snuck out?" Lily asked, her brow scrunching. "She couldn't have, she-"
"Course she did, that's how she got so far ahead!" Sirius said, laughing loudly. "Most nights, we'd find her in the restricted section, reading everything she could get her hands on."
"She couldn't have," Lily repeated.
"Our first year, we took the rap for her," Sirius said wistfully, a big smile on his face. "James and I, we snuck out because we were bored, and we happened to be nearby when we heard it."
"Heard what?"
"A boom," Sirius said, clapping his hands together to replicate the sound. "It was the first time she ever snuck out, and she got it in her head to try out the first spell she found. It just happened to be-"
"The Blasting Charm," Lily said, a smile coming to her own lips.
"That's the one!" Sirius said. "We didn't have much time, of course, so James and I stayed behind to take the blame, while she ran up to the common room under his cloak."
"You let her use the cloak?" Lily asked.
"James wouldn't have it any other way," Sirius said. "Lily kept our secret, too, even though she had every right not to. Course, it caused plenty of rows over the years, since James didn't know how to give it up. He loved to remind her every week what we did for her. To think, he always wondered why it took so long for her to go out with him."
"Why didn't you two go with her?" Lily asked.
"Because we were stupid!" Sirius said with a mirthful bark. "James thought it would earn him more points with her, even that early he thought he stood a chance, and I wasn't going to just leave him there."
"You said she never got caught," Lily said. "How?"
"Well, she was probably the first student in Hogwarts history to master the Disillusionment Charm by the end of third year," Sirius said. "Supposed to be NEWT level, see, but she was always abnormally brilliant in Charms. You got that, too, if your Patronus is any indication."
"It took four months," Lily admitted. "It's not-"
"Four months?" Sirius, unable to stop another laugh from escaping. "Blimey, Hazel, it took your mother two years of practice, she told us herself in our seventh year."
"Why was she sneaking out?" Lily asked.
"She wanted to explore Hogwarts just as much as we did," Sirius said. "That, and she wanted to learn as many spells as she could just to prove she could."
"Why?" Lily asked again.
"We were right at the peak of the war," Sirius said. "The Muggleborn students couldn't go down a single corridor without getting verbally assaulted or hexed. Not even Dumbledore and McGonagall could crack down on it all. Lily wanted to prove she was better than them, prove that blood didn't matter, and so she put everything into it. The professors had that right about her, at least; she was the brightest witch of our age. And she happened to be just like you."
"I'm nothing like her," Lily said, whispering again.
"Of course, you are!" Sirius said as if it's obvious. "You're just like the both of them!"
"I'm not-"
"You are like them," Sirius said, placing a hand on her knee. "You have your mum's eyes and hair, but your nose is slightly longer, just like your dad's, and you're much taller than Lily was, about your dad's. You carry yourself the same way he did, too, all energy and a need to move. I watched you give some of your speeches at Quidditch practice, you couldn't stop pacing, even when you were directly addressing somebody. He was good at Quidditch, too, although you have him beat by leagues. Don't think I've ever seen somebody fly the way you do."
"I-"
"And you do the same thing he did, whenever he was feeling cocky," Sirius said. "He always used to run a hand through his hair when he was around your mother, or other pretty girls, for that matter, or just plain showing off for anybody."
"So that's it, then?" Lily asked. "I'm just- I'm just them. I'm not me."
"Don't be ridiculous, Hazel," Sirius said with a snort. "I just told you how much better at flying you are, and your dad always favoured his right, while you favour your left. Plus, I said about your dad's. You're taller than he was. Don't know how that happened."
"Petunia was really tall," Lily muttered, her left hand flexing.
"Yes, your dad said she always looked like a vulture," Sirius said, laughing again. "Drove your mother mad, she couldn't stand the thought of her sister hating her."
Lily supposed they had that in common, too, then.
"Course," Sirius said, scratching his nose, "neither of your parents were any good at art. You're brilliant at it, I saw you work over the summer."
"I'm not that great," Lily said.
Sirius laughed again. "Don't sell yourself short! I saw that picture you did of me, laying in the sun at the Burrow. You're really good. Could be a professional, really, most people would kill for a portrait done by The-Girl-Who-Lived."
Lily shuffled her feet nervously. The Weasleys said the same thing. It made her feel good, but she still had that nagging voice in the back of her head telling her she was worthless.
Petunia was wrong, she reminded herself.
"What else did my mum do?" she asked, brushing a lock of hair behind her ear.
"All sorts of things, really," Sirius said. "Once, during our fifth year- and she didn't want to tell us this at all, but we were celebrating finishing school and she had too much to drink- she enchanted some of those Muggle lenses they put on their eyes, made them so that, just by thinking, she could bring up her notes. Used them to cheat on our History of Magic OWLs, the cheeky little minx."
"She cheated?" Lily asked, her mouth hanging open, her inner Hermione escaping.
"Swore up and down it was just the one class," Sirius said quickly. "Binns was teaching even then, and not a one of us could stay awake long enough to do well. We all tried cheating on it, really, some just did it better than others. Merlin, I got caught for mine, had to take a 'T'. Prongs never let that one go."
"What else?" Lily asked.
"Well," Sirius said, sounding relieved she wasn't actually angry, "there was another time, in our fifth year, we ran into her on our way back from- err- alright, I ran into her, I was sneaking out to see Mary MacDonald in the Hospital Wing- long story, don't ask- when I ran into her sneaking about on the sixth floor. I followed her and-"
"Why did you follow her?" Lily asked.
"Thought she might have been sneaking off to meet a bloke," Sirius admitted. "Didn't want Prongs to be upset, but he needed to know it was over if she was, we made him promise he'd stop bothering her if she was involved with somebody else, and then-"
"Was she?" Lily asked awkwardly. "Meeting somebody, I mean."
"No," Sirius said, "but let me finish the story."
"Sorry."
"I followed her back downstairs," Sirius said. "This was well past curfew, but she was a Prefect, and I had James's cloak- he let me borrow it so I could- err- anyway, she kept going downstairs and I started worrying that she was going to meet with Snivellous and-"
"Snape?" Lily said, putting just as much venom into the name as Sirius had.
"How'd you know?" Sirius said, blinking in surprise.
"I called him the same thing," she admitted, smiling slightly when Sirius started laughing.
"Brilliant!" he said, wiping at his eyes. "Lily always told us the name wasn't funny, but James would have loved you coming up with the same thing."
"Why would she have been meeting with him?" Lily asked, thinking back on the memory she saw so long ago.
"They were friends, until our fifth year," Sirius said. "Well, really, Snivellous just happened to follow her around, really, always trailing behind on the edge of her cloak. Grew up in the same area, but when Snivellous refused to give up his Death Eater friends- plus a lot more I'm not getting into right now- she cut him loose."
"So, you thought she was going down to meet him?" Lily asked.
"Right," Sirius said, getting back on topic. "It was after their big row, but Lily was always a kind soul, so none of us thought she'd stay mad forever- we were way off on that one, by the way- but, with the kinds of people Snivellous was hanging around with, it wasn't safe for her to go see him alone. Wasn't safe for Muggleborns to walk around alone at all, matter of fact. That's how they got Mary."
"Sirius-"
"Right, sorry, I'll try to stay on topic. Anyway, I was just thinking of running up to the common room for help- we'd just started the map and had normal routes laid out already, so we'd be able to find her- when she turned off down the second floor."
"Why down there?" Lily asked.
"Asked that same thing myself," Sirius said. "She went down to Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, which- I'm sure you realize- is very unusual."
"Most boys don't know about Moaning Myrtle," Lily said.
"Yes, well," Sirius said with a cheeky smile, "we explored quite a few places we were never supposed to be. Anyway, I thought about just waiting outside, thought she might just want a private bathroom, but then I remembered the Prefects already had one, so I went aside."
"And?"
"And I heard a lot of crying," Sirius said. "Myrtle I knew, but the second, I didn't. I was worried it was Lily, so I called out for her. Didn't think about it, really, I definitely should not have done that, but I was worried."
"Was it her?" Lily asked.
"No," Sirius said. "She went downstairs looking for a first year girl, Ashley Smith. Nobody'd seen her all day, but nobody bothered looking for her, either. Except for your mum, that is. She was always keeping an eye out for the younger students."
"Why was she down there?"
"Because she was a Muggleborn," Sirius said with a dark expression. "Some Slytherin girls attacked her when they saw her go in- she didn't know not to use it, she was just a first year. They messed her up real bad, worse than Mary got, and they chained her to one of the toilets so she couldn't even crawl for help."
"It was really that bad?" Lily asked.
"It was a dark time," Sirius said. "Half of Gryffindor had already decided to sign up with the Ministry once we left school, so we could fight. That was the moment your mother decided to do the same."
"What happened to the girl?" Lily asked.
"I blasted the chain off of her," Sirius said. "Your mother was trying to undo the enchantment, but that was easier. Then, I helped carry her up to the Hospital Wing. Pomfrey gave me a scolding, but she told the both of us that if we'd been even a few minutes later, the girl might not have made it. Lost a leg as it was."
"I hate Hogwarts," Lily said, clenching her hands into fists. Even now, the worst of Slytherin was still up to the same antics.
"I know," Sirius said, placing a hand back on her knee. "I'm sorry for the story taking a turn. I forgot how bad it got until I reached that part."
"What happened to the girl?" Lily asked.
"Lived," Sirius said. "She works in the Ministry, now. Department of Magical Law Enforcement, right under Bones. Her undersecretary, actually. Hard position to get at her age, especially for a Muggleborn, but nobody worked harder for it. She stayed in contact with your mother and I, up until- well- neither of us ever told your father."
"Why?" Lily asked.
"Because James, for all his bluster, hated actually hurting people," Sirius said. "He never used anything worse than a stunner during the war, and we loved him for it. But the two of us? We wanted revenge, and we got it, even if it took three years."
Sirius lapsed into silence, and Lily wasn't about to break it anytime soon. She had a lot to think about.
"Sorry," Sirius said after a long time. "I didn't mean to bring the mood down."
"My mum did like hurting people, then?" Lily asked, another question hanging at her lips.
Like her sister?
"No," Sirius said quickly. "Not at all. Hated it almost as much as your father did, but- well- it was a war, Hazel, and the enemy wanted your mother, and everybody like her, dead. I could tell it always hurt her, but she was willing to do what needed to be done to protect herself and others. Even so, there was nobody with a kinder heart, nobody who was as loving and generous, as Lily Evans."
"But she still lied," Lily said. "Both of them. They lied about me."
"I'm sorry," Sirius said. "I didn't mean to- maybe I said too much."
"No," Lily said, wiping at her face. "I- I'm so sick of everybody keeping things from me- even Lupin said anything about- well- but, you! You didn't. Thanks. It- err- it means a lot to me." She felt awkward saying it, but it was true, and Lupin was always telling her to be more honest with people.
"Well, I'm glad I didn't mess up our first real conversation, then," Sirius said. "I'm sure there'll be plenty more chances for that."
"You mentioned a prophecy," Lily said. "Last night, before- before everything."
"Right," Sirius said, leaning in. "So, there was-"
"I will take it from here, Sirius," Dumbledore said from behind them both. "I'm afraid it is time for you to leave."
"What?" Sirius said as Dumbledore swept across the room to his desk. "I can't just leave, I have to-"
"This is information Hazel must be given," Dumbledore said calmly. "Indeed, she should have been given it long ago, but I didn't not want to burden someone so young with so many troubles. That mistake nearly cost us gravely."
"I'm her godfather," Sirius said, "and-"
"Your guardianship will not be reinstated until the Ministry officially clears you, Sirius," Dumbledore said. "If Hazel wishes to tell you when she next sees you, then she may do so. For now, I think it best if only she hears it."
"That's not-"
"I mean you no offense, Sirius," Dumbledore said. "Believe me. This information does not come lightly, and I do not think it wise for you to know. Not when the Ministry will most assuredly use Veritaserum and a Pensieve to verify your testimony. Not when there will be, most certainly, old enemies attending the proceedings that would very much like to know this very secret."
"Point," Sirius said after a long pause.
"She will be safe now, Sirius," Dumbledore said far more gently. "The dementors are gone. This long, arduous year has, at last, come to an end."
"You'll be fine without me?" Sirius asked, looking straight at her.
"Yes?" Lily said. She wasn't sure if anybody had ever asked that question before. She wasn't used to it.
Sirius stood from his seat reluctantly. "I'll be back, Dumbledore. I missed too much of her life. I won't miss anymore."
"I'm happy to hear it," Dumbledore said. "You will be able to see her just as soon as your trial has concluded. Your carriage is waiting downstairs to take you to the Ministry.
"I'll write you as soon as I get there," Sirius said. He leaned down to look her in the eyes, both hands clasped on her shoulders. Lily sucked in her lip and nodded, feeling odd again. Sirius pulled her close, holding the back of her head with one hand, while she clasped hers behind his back.
She closed her eyes. She didn't know how badly she needed this.
"Your parents would be proud," Sirius said as he held onto her. "Of everything. You have nothing to be worried about anymore, Hazel."
"Lily," Lily said. "I- I go b-by Lily."
It was her mum's name, and now it was hers.
Dumbledore allowed her more than enough time to compose herself once Sirius left. The pressure on her chest was gone, replaced with a warm, fuzzy feeling. Even so, she couldn't stop her hands from shaking, even while the smile wouldn't leave her lips.
"You have questions, undoubtedly," Dumbledore said at last. "We will start with those. You may ask when you are ready."
"Flint and Montague," Lily said quietly. "They tried to- to-"
"They have both been expelled," Dumbledore said plainly, "and are awaiting trial in the Ministry holding cells."
"Good," Lily said, fully meaning it. She wished most of Slytherin was there with them. "Why did they even- why did they do it?"
"Peter bribed them into it," Dumbledore said. "He needed to take you to ensure his own safety, but he was completely incapable of doing so by himself so long as you remained inside of the castle. Of course, had he known Sirius was using the building as his own hiding place, he likely would have chosen a different location."
Lily lapsed back into silence. She didn't want to think about what would have happened if they'd taken her into the Forbidden Forest, or even just hid her in that hidden staircase she never saw on the map.
"Sirius worried you would blame him for it," Dumbledore said. "He was there at the beginning but was too afraid to give away his presence."
"Wasn't his fault," Lily said, wiping at her runny nose.
"Remus tells me you had visions while it was happening," Dumbledore said, eyes keenly observing her.
"I don't know what it was," Lily said quietly. "And, I- I don't remember most of it. Everything was so foggy when I woke up, it just- it slipped away."
"Do your best to explain it, if you would."
"I was in a chair," Lily said. "Talking to Quirrell, with a snake on my lap."
"A snake, you say?"
Lily nodded. "I was laughing at myself. I was happy that- that Pettifrew found me, and was making me pay for- well, I don't know what for."
"I see," Dumbledore said. "And did you say anything else?"
Lily chewed on her lip, trying to remember, squeezing her eyes shut tight as she tried to open the cupboard door. It kept getting stuck on something. She just couldn't pull it free.
"Remus mentioned you said more," Dumbledore said after a long pause. "While you were still lucid, immediately after it happened. He said-"
"Please," Lily said, eyes still shut, shaking her head. "I- I don't want to-"
"Apologies, Lily," Dumbledore said kindly, "but it will do you more good to process the trauma now than later. You have already shut far too many things away, and if we wish to get ahead of these dark times, we need all the information we can get. I need you to remember."
"Please," Lily said one more time.
"Very well," Dumbledore said after a longer pause. "I will make do with what we know. But you will listen to my interpretations, and you will let me know if I am on the right track."
Lily nodded, but kept her eyes closed.
"What you saw was through the eyes of Lord Voldemort," Dumbledore said. "From what Sirius has told me, Voldemort met with Peter through Quirrell a month ago, where Peter was given orders to abduct you and bring you to him."
Lily nodded. That was all she could manage.
"The two of you share a connection, through that scar of yours. I previously feared it may be used two-ways, and it seems that fear has been confirmed. Voldemort could feel your torture through the scar, but he could not see through it, not as you could. He could feel your pain, but only you could see through the eyes of another."
Lily nodded again, feeling sick.
"I do not know if that is only because Voldemort is yet weak, if it will remain that way should he return to power, but it seems my decision to teach you Occlumency has proven the correct one. I must ask you to regularly apply your defenses, so Voldemort cannot use this connection against you."
Lily nodded.
"If you feel the scar burning, if you feel any sorts of emotions that are not your own, I must ask you to immediately alert me through the Weasleys or Sirius."
Lily nodded.
"What about Hermione?" she asked, her voice barely a whisper.
"Miss Granger will be alright," Dumbledore said. "She is still recovering, but her parents have pulled her from Hogwarts early, given the circumstances. You will see her again when you arrive at Beauxbatons. I am told she is desperate to see you again."
"Her parents h-hate me," Lily said.
"I can assure you they do not, Lily," Dumbledore said. "Twice, you have saved their daughter's life. If they hate anybody, it is me, for allowing this to happen. You have my sincerest apologies."
"Hermione really didn't get bit?" Lily asked, remembering the frightening amount of blood.
"She did not," Dumbledore confirmed. "If she had, would you have abandoned her?"
"Never," Lily whispered. She took a deep breath, and then opened her eyes, feeling far more confident.
"You have had an exceptionally difficult year, Lily," Dumbledore said. "I will never be sorry enough. I should have noticed how much pain you were going through."
"You were busy," Lily said with a shrug.
"That is no excuse," Dumbledore said.
"I should have told somebody," Lily said. "I thought I could handle it all, but I couldn't. It's my fault."
"Lily-"
"Sirius said something strange," Lily said, looking for an excuse to avoid her blame. "When we were talking about my parents."
"Did he now?" Dumbledore asked.
Lily nodded. "I was- I was worried about- well-"
"You thought they didn't want you," Dumbledore said, closing his own eyes. "That they wanted a boy, and that is why they told that lie so long ago."
Lily stayed silent. It was true, no matter what anybody said.
That was what she hung onto for so long. It was what she had to believe. There had to be a reason for all her misery.
It couldn't be her fault. Not if Petunia was wrong.
"Sirius said they were happy," she said quietly. "That- that I was- was all they wanted."
"And it is true," Dumbledore said, eyes still closed.
"Then why?" Lily asked, surprised by how much the question still hurt. "Why did they lie about my birthday, of all things? Why did they tell everybody I was a boy? Why?"
"Perhaps I should have told you long ago," Dumbledore said. "Perhaps, if I had, I could have spared you at least a portion of your suffering."
"Sirius said there was a prophecy," Lily said, steeling herself for the disappointment. "But that was all he got around to. What was it?"
Dumbledore remained silent, eyes still closed, for a long while. Lily waited. She waited for Dumbledore to refuse, to send her away. She waited for him to forbid Sirius from telling her.
"'The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches,'" Dumbledore said in a deathly whisper. "'Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies, and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not, and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives. The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies.'"
The room faded back into silence. The portraits above muttered and gabbed amongst themselves in disapproval. Lily heard one admonish Dumbledore for giving such important information to a teenager, but she hardly made out the words from the buzzing in her ears.
"That's it?" Lily asked, a cold fury brewing within her.
"That's it," Dumbledore said calmly.
"They pretended I was a- a boy so I could- so- so he'd try to kill me?"
"I think it best you hear the rest from them," Dumbledore said, standing. Lily didn't ask for an explanation. She continued sitting, grinding her teeth, wondering why she ever hoped to believe Sirius. They didn't care. They didn't care to protect her, to love her, they got themselves killed, they tried to get her killed.
She was right.
Dumbledore returned with a strange, large goblet, placing it gently on the cleared surface of his desk. Lily stared at the strange, multicoloured pedestal, with a silver, shimmering liquid perched deep within the depths. Dumbledore took his seat back at the desk, looking weary.
"This is a Pensieve," he said. "It allows one to view and show one's memories. This particular memory is your father's. I asked to review it shortly before his death, to check for any information that may have been leaked. I never got the chance to return it nor another borrowed item. Will you come with me?"
Lily shrugged. Dumbledore stood and offered her a hand. She took it, and he pulled her out of her own seat.
"After you," Dumbledore said.
"What do I do?" Lily asked.
"Touch the surface of the memory," Dumbledore said, "and allow it to take you. I will accompany you right after. I think it best to save your questions until after it has ended."
Lily nodded, and then prodded the silver surface with her finger. She didn't know what to expect, but what she didn't anticipate in the slightest was a tugging sensation on both body and mind, nor the room swirling around her in dizzying colours.
When it stopped spinning, she was standing in a familiar place. She was in the sitting room of her old home, the one she saw so many times in those old photographs in her album. The pale blue walls, adorned with frame after frame of her parents standing together, smiling widely with both family and friends. The dark couch, perched against the wall. There was a window on the wall she never got to see, looking out into a sleepy, snowy village. There was a cat resting on the sill, black and sleek and dozing away.
Her parents were on the couch, and her heart froze when she saw what her mother was holding. There was a bundle of pink blankets nursing at her breast, a small, scarless face peeking out, with a fuzz of red hair cropping her head.
"You're sure on Hazel?" James said, running a hand through his hair to ruffle it, his face lit up with happiness.
"James, we've had this conversation," Lily said, smiling warmly at her child. "I think it's a lovely name."
"We could have gone with Rose," James said, "Or Tansy, or Poppy, or-"
"Or Chrysanthemum?" Lily said with a laugh. "I told you, I don't give a damn about the tradition, I wanted to name her Hazel."
"But-"
"Oh, stop," Lily said, slapping him lightly on the shoulder. "We said you'd get to name the boys, and I'd get to name the girls. I'm naming her Hazel."
"What is taking Albus so long?" James said, running a hand through his hair again, shaking the foot he had crossed against a knee, one hand draped protectively around his wife's shoulders. Lily leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder.
"Maybe he got lost," Lily said with another laugh.
Right on cue, there came a knock on the door. James hopped up quickly to go answer it. Lily waved her wand with her free hand, pulling a blanket over herself and her feeding daughter to allow them some privacy. Older Hazel just kept staring at her mother. She saw pictures, but she never realized just how alike they looked. The only difference between them was the hair, and that was the same until recently, now that hers had curls to it. Their voices were different, too, but Hazel couldn't bring herself to test it; she was thoroughly unable to find it.
She ran a hand through her hair, staring at it as the curls straightened back to look just like her mother's. She jumped when Dumbledore placed a hand on her shoulder, not realizing he arrived.
"Thank you, James," a slightly younger Dumbledore said as he entered the room. Hazel watched as her father sat back down next to her mother, pulling her tightly to him with an arm back around her. Lily snuggled in, letting the blanket drop once her baby was done.
"She's beautiful," the younger Dumbledore said. "Congratulations to both of you."
"Thanks," James said, smiling stupidly. He wiped a tear from his eye before it could fall, and Hazel swallowed down the lump in her throat.
"What is her name?" Dumbledore asked.
"Hazel," Lily said with a hum, rocking the baby slightly in her arms. "Hazel Lily."
"Next one will be Harry James," James said.
"If you're lucky," Lily said with a snort. "I'm going with Holly."
"I'll get my chance," James said confidently.
"I'm sure you will," Lily said with a cocky smile, exchanging a quick kiss with her husband. Hazel swallowed again, wiping her face with her sleeve.
"Why is it you've called me here?" Dumbledore asked. "I understand you're eager to get back to the Order, but surely you've earned a few weeks with your wife and child?"
"About that," James said, carefully extricating his arm from around Lily so he could lean forward. "Frank and Alice wrote to us a few days ago."
"You've heard, then?" Dumbledore asked.
"About the pregnancy?" Lily said. "Yes, of course. We can't wait for Hazel to have a little friend."
"But that's not at all," James said, running a nervous hand through his hair. "They told us you came to see them as soon as you heard."
"And what did they say?" Dumbledore said carefully, crossing a leg over one knee.
"They said you warned them about a prophecy," Lily said. "You're positive it's not talking about Hazel?"
"No," Dumbledore said. "The prophecy warned of a boy, and while young Hazel may eventually find herself wanting to change, prophecies can be quite rigid. Voldemort will interpret it the same way I have."
"Does he know?" Lily asked. "About the Prophecy? Does Voldemort know?"
"Yes," Dumbledore said. "He knows. It was overheard by Severus Snape. He would have told him by now."
Hazel clenched her fists the same time her father did.
"Snivellus," James said with venom. Lily placed a hand on one of his, her lips forming a tight line.
"He'll be going for them, then?" Lily asked. "The Longbottoms?"
"I'm afraid so," Dumbledore said, sounding equally grave. The two new parents exchanged a look, Lily placing a hand on one of her husband's. James nodded, swallowed, and then turned to face Dumbledore.
"We had a boy, Albus," James said in a trembling voice. "Or, rather, we will have one. In July."
"I'm afraid I don't understand," Dumbledore said.
"We can't let them go through this alone," Lily said. "We've talked it over. We want to help."
Dumbledore glanced at his watch, seemingly nonplussed by the conversation.
"It is currently 10:37, on the 28th of January," Dumbledore said, still not looking at them. "If I'm not mistaken, little Hazel is not even quite a week old."
"Five days, to be exact," Lily said, kissing little Hazel on the head.
"I'm afraid it can't be done," Dumbledore said, snapping his watch closed. "The prophecy is very clear. The child will be born at the end of July."
"Nobody knows Lily was pregnant," James said, clutching her hand. "We went into hiding right at the beginning."
"We only told you and Sirius," Lily said, squeezing his back.
"Not Remus or Peter?"
"No," James said with a thin smile. "I wanted to, but- well-"
"I told him it was a bad idea," Lily said. "I haven't even told Petunia yet."
"We were worried Voldemort would come after us if he knew," James said. "And- well- when the meetings kept leaking, we thought that- err-"
"That news would reach him too quickly," Dumbledore said. "Yes, you told me the same months ago."
"You said the prophecy mentioned the parents would defy him three times," Lily said. "We've done the maths. We apply, too."
"I suppose so," Dumbledore said slowly.
"Nobody's seen us," James reiterated. "Blimey, I haven't even been down to the pub in months. Sirius has been trying to drag me out, but Lily won't- well- err-"
Lily rolled her eyes. "I told you to go with him, you berk. You're the one that insisted on staying with me."
James blushed and ran another hand through his hair. "Yes, well- err- I couldn't just leave you alone, could I?"
"I do not know that I can agree with this," Dumbledore said. "You would be putting yourselves- your daughter - into a terrible amount of danger."
"It wouldn't be for long," James said. "A year, maybe two. We talked it over. It's worth the risk."
"Is it?" Dumbledore said. "How do you expect to keep Voldemort away? He will pay the both of you, Potter and Longbottom, a visit just as soon as the choice is known."
"We'll go under the Fidelius," James said. "Lily can cast it, she already did it for- for Mary. We won't leave. He won't find us, but- but maybe he'll-"
"Maybe he'll waste time looking," Lily said in agreement, squeezing onto her husband's hand.
"Still," Dumbledore said. "Still, I'm not sure if it is worth the risk. There is a spy among us. Who would you use for secret keeper?"
"Sirius will do it," James said, sounding far more confident. "He'd die for us. You know he would."
Dumbledore nodded. "Yes. Yes, he would. You must allow nobody within without my express permission, not even Sirius, and you must tell him not to tell a single soul of your location, not even myself."
"Right," James said, swallowing again. "Right. We'll- we'll do that."
"And you must not speak a word of the prophecy to him," Dumbledore said sternly. "On that matter, I cannot stress enough. I know you trust Sirius, and I do, as well, but there is a spy amongst us. The fewer people that know the details, the better."
"We'll have to tell him something, Albus," Lily said. "We've already told him to come see her."
"You will tell him nothing other than her true birth must remain a secret," Dumbledore said. "Anything more, and I will call the whole thing off. Even her true identity must remain a secret for the time being."
"He's not a spy," James said quietly. "He'd already know of the prophecy if he was."
"No, I do not believe he would," Dumbledore said. "Voldemort will not share this secret with anybody, and Severus would certainly never tell him. Those he would tell would know better than to spread the Dark Lord's secrets."
"Who do you think, then?" Lily asked.
"If I had to guess," Dumbledore said, "no more than Voldemort, Bellatrix, Lucius, and Severus will know of the prophecy. Lucius may tell his wife, but the risk wouldn't be worth it, especially with his own child on the way. Bellatrix would rather die than betray her master's secrets. Severus is eager to please and brag, but if Voldemort commands it, he will say nothing of the details. At best, the other Death Eaters will know that a prophecy will exist, but nothing of what it contains."
"And you're sure of that?" Lily asked.
"It is a guess," Dumbledore said with a shrug. "But mine tend to be right more often than not."
"Do you think we're making a mistake?" James asked with a glance at his daughter.
"No," Dumbledore said. "I think, with the proper precautions taken, what you're doing is the most noble action I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing. You will need to take a family photo now, while she is still young. Make sure you decorate accordingly. It would not do for any signs of the true season to appear."
"We will," Lily said.
"You are sure about this?" Dumbledore said as he stood. "Once this is done, it cannot be taken back easily."
"We're sure, Albus," Lily said, James remaining pale and silent.
"You must summon Sirius immediately," Dumbledore said. "Voldemort's spies are everywhere. If they learn of this deception early, it will all be for naught."
"James?" Lily said, tugging on her despondent husband's arm.
James looked over at his wife, smiling sadly. "Sorry, Lily. Looks like I got to name her after all."
"That is enough," the older Dumbledore said. He yanked on Lily's arm, the room spun, and then they were standing together in his office. Lily could hardly hold herself up and sank right into her chair.
"I don't believe it," she whispered.
"I should have tried harder to dissuade them," Dumbledore said as he sat back in his seat. "But their offer filled my heart with warmth, and I believed, just as they did, that they'd be safe with Sirius."
"They didn't use him," Lily said, shaking her head.
"No, they didn't," Dumbledore said. "And they did not inform me of the switch, or I never would have allowed it."
"Why?" Lily asked.
"It was Sirius's suggestion," Dumbledore said. "He didn't think anybody would suspect Peter of being the secret keeper, and neither of your parents believed him capable of betraying them."
"Why?" Lily asked again.
"They thought it was Remus," Dumbledore said, his voice trembling slightly. "As did I. Voldemort was popular amongst the werewolves, promising them every right and benefit they so desperately wanted. We thought he might have been persuaded, although he would have done so with a heavy heart. None of us suspected the truth."
"I just- I don't understand," Lily said.
"This is why Lucius Malfoy still refers to you as 'Harry,'" Dumbledore said, misunderstanding her. "The ruse was too successful. As I guessed, he was indeed told of the prophecy. He has spread the tale of it since his master's disappearance. He, and the other loyal Death Eaters, still discuss you at their dinners in the shadows. Even now, they still believe the ruse. Voldemort himself believed it, after all, and to acknowledge that he was wrong would mean their death, should he return.
"I thought that, when you arrived at Hogwarts, happy, healthy, and larger than one would expect of a girl just turned eleven, the ruse would have been fully lifted, but the neglect shown by your aunt and uncle resulted in your small stature and only reinforced their own biases. That you have grown so much in so little time should have proven only the strength of your magic, that it would want you to appear as your purest self, as you would have been, given the proper love and nutrition. That your good genes have resulted in your height and athletic talent has only fueled their paranoia. Even so, it should only be a matter of time until-"
"They would have let me die," Lily interrupted. Dumbledore seemed taken aback, as if he never would have expected her spike of anger. She kept drumming her foot against the floor, the tapping rapid and failing to soothe the energy running rampant in her veins.
"No," Dumbledore said at last. "They knew there was a risk, Lily, but they thought it worth potentially saving their friends. They were close with Alice and Frank, and should they have survived, you doubtlessly would have spent many days growing up with Neville as a close companion. Would you have preferred them dying, for him to be sitting in your position, with your own parents alive but tortured into insanity?"
Lily chewed on her lip. She hated the answer her brain wanted to give. She knew that she'd regret it, that if she was just allowed to sit on it, that she would never wish this on Neville. She turned her thoughts to something else, to somebody else that she could hate without guilt, without doubt.
"Snape," she said, voice filled with loathing.
"Severus was not who he is now, Lily," Dumbledore said. "He has come to regret his time serving Lord Voldemort, and he is now wholly on our side."
"He killed my parents," Lily said loudly, her head pounding.
"Voldemort killed your parents, Lily," Dumbledore said. "What Professor Snape did was unforgivable, but he has done his best to atone." Lily doubted that, but she bit back the retort on the tip of her tongue. "He did not believe the prophecy would affect the lives of people he knew, and as soon as the consequences became clear, he turned cloak and worked for me. You will keep his role in all this a-"
"And that makes it alright?" Lily shouted, her hand flexing. She didn't remember standing up. Dumbledore made that same surprised expression again.
"Now, see here, Dumbledore," a snide portrait said from above. "This is why it's so pointless to speak with the troublemakers. This is why corporal punishment never should have been removed from the table. Teenagers aren't capable of empathizing, they understand only violence! You shouldn't be-"
"Yeah, and what do you know?" Lily asked.
"Why, see here!" the long nosed, scrunched face said, a whine in his tone. "This is exactly what I mean, Dumbledore! How you can allow this sort of behaviour in this distinguished office, I'll never-"
"Piss off!" Lily shouted. She grabbed the nearest object from Dumbledore's shelf and tossed it at the portrait. When it hit, it shattered, the shards scattering across the room and causing several other portraits to duck and hide beneath their frames.
"Thank you, Phineas," Dumbledore said, brushing some glass out of his beard calmly. "I will not need your advice on this matter."
"Dumbledore, didn't you see-"
"Lily has every night to be angry," Dumbledore said. "And dare I say, she has every right to smash even more of my belongings, should she desire. I have quite earned it, especially after the year she has had, and Merlin knows that I have far too many things."
"Why is he even here?" Lily said, trying to calm herself down. The painting's comments got to her, even if she wanted to pretend they didn't.
"Phineas is a former headmaster, and therefore-"
"Not him," Lily said far too angrily. "Snape. He's a-"
"Professor Snape, Lily."
"Snivellous," Lily said instead. "He's a Death Eater. Why is he here?"
"Was a Death Eater," Dumbledore corrected. "I give you my full assurances that he is now wholly on the side of the light."
"He tortured me."
"He did no such thing," Dumbledore said calmly. "Learning Occlumency is always an unpleasant experience, Lily. Professor Snape was not looking for any particular memories. He simply viewed what bubbled from the surface, and I assure you they disturbed him greatly. He-"
"Disturbed him?" Lily said with a scoff. "You- you have no idea what I- he-"
"Professor Snape was trying to help you, Lily," Dumbledore said. "I realize it was hard, but-"
"What do you know?" Lily spat. "Did you have your hand held to a burner when you were only seven? Did you spend every day in your own worst nightmare? Did you go to bed, every night, just praying that you wouldn't wake up in the morning?"
"Lily-"
"She tortured me," Lily said, heading straight for the door. "And he made me relive every moment of it. He liked it. He thought I deserved it, that I was- was weak for letting it get to me. He hates me, just because I'm not my mother- because I'm too much like my dad."
"Lily, he did not-"
"He did!" Lily shouted, turning swiftly. "Every single time, all I- I just needed a break, and he- he'd just- he'd mock me, tell me I deserved it! Well, I don't! I don't deserve any of it!"
Dumbledore stared at her calmly, a mist in his eyes. "No, you most certainly do not."
"I'm leaving," Lily said, feeling ashamed of herself all of a sudden. "I shouldn't have thrown your thing. Sorry about that."
"Farewell, Lily," Dumbledore said sadly. "I hope you find more happiness at Beauxbatons than you could here at Hogwarts. And, I hope dearly, that our planned event will not hinder you in any way."
"What do you mean?" Lily asked, her hand on the doorknob. She refused to turn and look at him again. She was starting to feel sick, and she was sure seeing his look of disappointment would push her over the edge.
"Apologies, Lily. I know this will only anger you further, but I have already signed the contracts. I cannot speak a word of it until it is announced to the world at large.
"Fine," Lily said, wrenching the door open. "Keep your secrets."
She slammed the door behind her, wondering how her day, when it started off so well, turned so sour so quickly.