Gentle

"Noa?" I heard my husband calling for me. I smiled, looking up from the applesauce tub between my legs. He snickered once he found me on the kitchen island, "What are you doing?"

"I can't sleep," I mumbled, swallowing a spoonful of applesauce. "Plus, the contractions are getting worse."

He yawned, pressing a kiss to my cheek before hopping and sitting next to me. He took the spoon from my fingers, grabbing the tub from between my legs, and jamming the spoon in the sauce. He took a generous bite, turning to sit facing me, "It's two in the morning, come back to bed."

I shook my head, opening my mouth to watch Trevor smile, and shake his head as he fed me a spoonful of applesauce. "I can't," I rubbed at my stomach. "I think it's time."

Trevor choked around the spoon, swallowing quickly before placing the tub of applesauce down between us, "You're in labor?"

"I think I am," I said, grabbing at the jammed spoon and directing it to my mouth. "It was like this with Theo and Ollie," I looked up at him as I scooped more sauce onto the spoon. "Theo was at two in the morning, Ollie was at two in the morning… wouldn't be that much difference that this one would come at two in the morning."

"But, he's early—"

"Theo was thirty-three weeks, Ollie was thirty-five, they can be thirty-four," I smiled, sliding the spoon between my lips.

"How are you so calm? Why aren't you freaking out?" he smirked. I grabbed his hands, placing one against my chest, and the other one to my stomach where I could feel our baby frantically moving about. Trevor gasped, feeling my heart galloping in my chest.

Trevor's hand at my stomach had begun moving about, and before I could comment on how relaxing his touch felt, a contraction hit me. It felt like the tide of the ocean, there was rolling pain radiating through my stomach. My hand flew up to rest atop Trevor's and I could feel my hardened abdomen through our palms. I held my breath, feeling the pain take over, and as I rode the wave of quick pain, I could hear Trevor mumbling reassurances.

I loved being pregnant. I loved all the changes my body went through, Trevor's overprotectiveness, and the kids' curiosity when it came to Mami's ever-growing belly. I'd been pregnant three times now, four if you counted the miscarriage, and every time, I would discover something new that my body was doing.

Trevor, though over-bearing at times, was a beautiful person to have around whilst pregnant. Between him and Alex, I didn't know who was luckiest, Casey or I. We had found out that we would be sharing this journey together and we couldn't have been more ecstatic if we tried, though, she had gone into labor roughly a month ago and now held securely in her hands the beautiful, Joshua Luke Cabot.

Whenever Casey and I got together to fawn over each other's bellies, he would hover around, making sure we weren't bending or straining ourselves. And, when tables were turned and it was Alex around us, we couldn't discern who was worst.

He loved having me pregnant, having enjoyed Theodora's pregnancy to the fullest until I had to go away.

Part of the reason I let him be the way he was when it came to Oliver's and this pregnancy was because I was still feeling a little guilty about him having to miss Theo's birth and first year of life. Trevor would rub at my stomach, massage my back, and allow me to use him as my own pregnancy pillow. Even though I had purchased one during my second pregnancy, the look of offense on his face had me laughing for a week. I still found use for it when he was not around and it came very much handy when it came to breastfeeding.

I breathed out through my nose, opening my eyes as the pain slowly went away, "There you go. How are you feeling?"

I chuckled ruefully, placing the spoon inside the tub of applesauce. "I'm fine, Trev."

He shook his head, "Come on, let's get you changed and ready. We're leaving."

"I guess you're right," I conceded. "What about the kids?"

He hopped off the kitchen island and stood in front of me, pulling me towards him as best as he could in order to carry me to place me on the ground. "I'll call our parents once I have you upstairs and whilst you're getting ready, I'll get the kids ready," he said, moving around me. "I know you don't want anyone in the room once you're giving birth and I know you don't want anyone to see you or our son until we're home. I know the drill," he smirked at me, placing a kiss to my forehead.

"I love it when you listen, it's so… sexy," I chuckled. "And, no touching me either, please."

Trevor smiled apologetically, nodding. He placed a hand to my back and guided me out of the kitchen, allowing me to walk slightly in front of him as we reached the stairs.

During Oliver's delivery, I'd been in so much pain once getting closer to actually giving birth that anytime he touched me I felt myself getting even more irritated with him. At one point, I'd kicked every single person in our room out, and only had allowed Theo and Trevor to stay, but at some point, Sara had came and picked up Theo and taken her out. Ollie's labor had been an excruciating ten-hour long journey, but once I'd held him in my arms, all my tiredness, all the fatigue, all of the soreness had lifted from my body and I just existed in pure bliss.

I had started nesting roughly two weeks prior to this day and in my nesting frenzy, I'd prepared a bag with every necessity Trevor and I might need when this day came. I'd packed lozenges for my dry mouth, lip balm, maternity bras and nursing pads, all the toiletries I would need, and a couple of shorts and camisoles.

Maternity wards tended to be extremely warm to adjust baby to the new outside temperature, but after giving birth, I'd noticed that my body temperature was never the same. My body wouldn't be stable until a couple of months down the road where I knew I would be seeking Trevor's warmth during the mornings. In the same bag, I made sure Trevor had a couple of changes of clothes, snacks, and toiletries as well.

As I listened to Trevor shuffle and shift about our children's room, I could hear a faint conversation. I didn't know if it was his mother or mines, but he sounded somewhat irritated at the constant prodding and questions. I snickered, turning around to grab a couple of hair ties from my bedside table. Just like for Theodora's pregnancy, I'd let my hair grow out for Trevor's satisfaction. He loved seeing my hair cascade down my sides and over my breasts; he enjoyed it, especially when having sex. I quickly showered and slipped on a pair of maternity jeans and a t-shirt. I grabbed my glasses and placed them on my face, quickly reaching up to tie my hair up in a messy bun.

I sighed, placing my hands to my enlarged abdomen, when Trevor stood underneath our door. I winced, feeling the beginnings of another contraction. The wave slowly climbed, my abdomen tightening, and my eyes slipping shut behind my glasses. I heard Trevor call out my name and later felt the warmth of his palm radiating through my shirt. I groaned when the pain rolled off, leaning my forehead into Trevor's lips as he placed them against my forehead.

"That was a long one," he mused. "Thirty-eight seconds."

I breathed out harshly, opening my eyes, and adjusting my glasses on my face, "How long between the first one and this one?"

"Twenty-seven minutes."

I nodded, "Are the kids ready?"

"Yes, let me change and we'll leave."

"Who was on the phone giving you grief?" I giggled, looking up at him as he moved around our room.

"Your mother," I snickered when he shook his head. "I told her that my parents would be by to pick her up and she said that it was going to take her the exact same time to get there by train than waiting for them, so I told her to do what she wanted, but to let one of us know."

I shook my head, "Lord, that woman. Did you get in touch with your siblings?"

Trevor was slipping on his t-shirt when he answered, "Tommy's out of town, but I texted Ramona. Tilly said that she would probably beat us to the hospital since she's right there in Midtown. I haven't called Lex or Sara, we can do that in the car."

I nodded, going to stand. I grabbed the pregnancy pillow from the closet and exited the room, hearing Trevor shout at me to hold on to the railing as I made it downstairs. He would grab the bags and bring them down as well as grab our children. Theo and Ollie had become log sleepers as they aged so waking them up wouldn't be an issue at this hour. On our thirty-minute journey from Jersey City to NYU Langone, I had two more contractions, each of them lasting about twenty-five to thirty seconds. I knew that as soon the contractions started picking up, the chances for our baby to get there were only higher.

Once we got to the hospital, Tilly was already there with Oscar and was grinning at us as she saw us approach at the curb. She reached inside for some of the belongings, handing the bags and Theo to Oscar and her draping Oliver on her shoulder.

"Here," Trevor said, handing her a folder with all the paperwork she would need to check us in. "These are all of Noa's papers. Baby, get out here and I'll be inside as soon as I park."

I shook my head, "No. We'll park and you can escort me inside."

"Now's not the time to be difficult, Noa Elisa."

I shot him a withering look and before I could open my mouth, Tilly spoke, "Now's not the time to be arguing either. I'll make sure they have a room ready for her. How are the contractions?"

Trevor nodded, "Every twenty minutes or so."

I saw as Tilly nodded and turned to walk inside the hospital and Trevor eased up his window. The last thing I wanted to do was fight with him, but I didn't want to be left alone. He coursed through the garage, finding a spot on the same level where the ramp that connected the garage to the hospital was. He got out of the SUV, walked over to my side and helped me out. He reached into the back of the SUV and grabbed my pillow and handed it to me. We were smiling at each other, bracing ourselves for what was about to happen. We were about to welcome another life into our family and with each passing second, it seemed closer and closer to meeting our child.

As soon as we walked in to the labor and delivery floor another wave of pain took over my body, this time extending to my back. I clutched Trevor's hand in mine, sunk my teeth into my bottom lip, and let out an expletive under my breath. The pain wasn't too unbearable compared to what I knew I was about to go through, but it hurt nonetheless. I whimpered, feeling the sensation take over my lower back to the point I could feel myself doubling over. Once the roll tide had ceased, I'd opened my eyes, staring straight into the eyes of my husband.

"Ok?" he asked, raising his brows.

I nodded, taking in a deep breath, "Ok."

"All right, Mama," I heard to my right. "Let's get you in this triage room and see what's going on."

The nurse led us to a triage room that had been on standby thanks to Tilly. They took a vaginal swab to test for amniotic fluid as well as a cervical check to see if I was dilating or effaced. After that, everything progressed rather quickly. I was already along in dilation and was already getting ready for a more permanent room.

I had delivered Oliver in this exact hospital in some other room with beautiful mint and yellow accents yet this one was different. It seemed… soothing to the eye to watch the grey and blue accents on the walls. The room was spacious, housing a big couch underneath the window to the bed's far right. There was an incubator where my child would be once he or she made their debut in the world.

"Epidural?" Autumn, our nurse, asked.

"No," Trevor and I said in unison.

Autumn nodded, "Ok then, change into the gown, and you're free to soak in the tub or walk around. I will be in periodically to put the monitors on you to check for baby's heart rate and your contractions."

In a matter of hours, my room was filled with chatter, and anxious-nervous behavior. My contractions kept pushing themselves closer together and it seemed as if they were lasting forever. I'd hit a latent point where I'd become stagnant and nothing was happening yet at one point in the morning, I'd become exceedingly irritable.

"I don't understand why she's putting herself through that pain," I heard Gigi complain.

I was right at the end of a contraction when I'd had enough. I chanced a glance at Trevor, whose tired eyes conveyed more emotion than anything in the world.

"Guys, I think it's time," he said quietly.

"Noa, you're really kicking us out again?" my sister countered, standing at the foot of my bed.

"She's not kicking you out, I am," Trevor responded. "Come on guys, I don't know how long she's been awake and I would like for her to take a nap before she has to do all this work."

Sara opened her mouth to protest once more when the tide closed on me again. I groaned, clutching at the sheets. My family couldn't understand why on earth had I decided for a complete natural birth. No medications, just me, Trevor, the baby, and the pain, but I'd done it with Theo the very first time, and with Oliver it had been forced since by the time we'd gotten to the hospital it was too late for an epidural and it was time to push. I wanted this course, and Trevor had respected my decision.

I writhed on the bed, releasing a shaky breath, "Get out!"

Those who were sat around the room, lounging around immediately stood on their feet, exiting the room quickly, and those who were preparing to leave did so with more urgency. Tilly and Oscar had Theo and Oliver with them, and Trevor smiled sheepishly as our family exited our room.

"I'm sorry," I heaved, shaking my head on my pillow.

He smirked. "I told them to leave," he said, coming to sit next to my bed. "Do you want a lozenge?"

"Please," I said, licking my lips.

He searched and rummaged through the bag with our belongings, finding what I needed. He took a lozenge out and placed it in my mouth, "Your contractions are getting closer. Are you ready for Maximus?"

I smiled, sucking on the candy in my mouth. "What makes you so sure it'll be Maximus and not Clementine?"

Trevor snickered, pushing away stuck strands of hair from my forehead. "I'd like to think God knows that another girl in my life would be... chaotic. Especially with you as their mother," he smiled beautifully, glancing to my left where the machine monitoring my contractions was. "Plus, you and Theo are a handful, imagine a third one?"

I sighed, feeling the strain from the position they had me in, "But, you've got to admit Clementine Grace is such a beautiful name."

"Maximus Noel will be a complete gentleman, though."

"God," I rolled my eyes, "you're so full of it!"

Trevor chuckled, glancing at the monitor, "Here comes—"

"Jesus," I whispered, feeling the contraction ripple through me. The pains were seemingly getting worst and the worst they got, the longer they got, too.

Trevor pressed a kiss to my sweaty forehead when I suddenly had an urge to poop. I could feel the sudden sinking feeling my stomach had once the contraction ended and I looked up at Trevor, watching the worry slowly dissipate from between his brows. I knew my contractions were bound to get more frequent and seemingly shorter, where I had no other option but to push.

It was exhausting not to have more rest—it was like the longest marathon. If I wanted the contractions to stop, and if I wanted to meet my child, this was the only way, so I had something to look forward to: pushing and meeting my baby.

"It's time," I whispered to Trevor with a smile.

When I got pregnant the first time and people would inquire on whether or not this was my first pregnancy, I'd often hear labor and childbirth being compared to running a marathon. I would argue that labor and childbirth were far more difficult than running a marathon yet a million times more fulfilling once the prize and knowledge of it being completed settled in. Yes, a marathon could be hard, both physically and mentally, but you could train for it, know what to expect, and you could prepare your own system to see how far you'd ran and how much more you had left. With childbirth, you knew when it started, but you didn't know when it would end.

Stories of being in labor for sixteen plus hours and subsequently pushing for an hour to no reprieve scared me then and now, and even after two successful births, it still scared me. They say the first one is the worst, but I was thankful I hadn't known when exactly I had gone into labor. I continued taking painkillers for when my back was being murderous that day and in the end, I had delivered Theodora in the living room of my then home accompanied by a great friend. For me, that had been the hardest part of childbirth: not knowing.

I thrived on knowing and planning for what was to come ahead, I did so every day in my field of work, but the not knowing part scared me the most.

The physical sensations of it were like nothing I had ever experienced before… or after. It was like a band of squeezing pressure that was neither painful nor pleasurable. Even though it hurt—like a burning sensation—I felt such relief when baby was delivered.

Emotionally, it was liberating. To this moment, I had never felt more proud of my body and mind that when delivering my children. We had a quiet, almost pain-free, unmedicated birth and it felt amazing to finally be free of the physical weight of carrying them in my body and the pressure of labor. Releasing my child into the world was like the relief one felt after agonizing over a tough conversation you get to have with someone and then having it go so well.

It'd been all but twenty-one minutes of pushing and setup and when the doctor lowly mentioned something along the lines of tearing, I'd been vocal about not cutting. I'd slowed down and given gentle pushes and with gravity by my side, my kid had been delivered with no tearing. With Oliver's delivery, I'd tear myself down there since everything was happening fairly quickly and the pushing had been a frantic one.

It'd only been three stitches, but the aftermath had been, two more months of no sex and recovery since I wasn't lubricating naturally. I hadn't felt comfortable in giving myself to Trevor when I knew I wasn't ready for him. He'd been most gentlemanly when applying the salve to my vaginal canal and one night, it had happened naturally, and let's just say I hadn't been the one to tap out.

I'd remained in a hospital gown after being helped in being changed into one that wasn't sodden and soiled with every possible bodily fluid of mines. The first two hours after birth was when the baby was most active and we had already breastfed. I was waking up from a nap when I heard Trevor cooing to our newborn, Maximus Noel.

"Max," he breathed out, placing a kiss to our son's forehead. "I just want to say this before you grow up. You are loved. It's easy for me to say now, and I suspect as you get older, it will become a little more awkward, but I plan on still doing it."

My heart soared at the sight of my husband bonding with our newborn with such beautiful and heartfelt words. Before I had the chance to call out for him, he spoke again. "I won't ever tire of telling this to you, your sister, or your brother," he said with a smile, shifting Max in his arms to lay him down the length of his arm. "I am beyond proud of you. I don't want you or your siblings to ever wonder if you're good enough, if you made it, or if I'm proud. Sometimes, I'll be hard on you and your brother, but I would never withhold my approval of you. Sure, at times, you will disappoint me, and I will allow you to know and feel this, but my pride in you will never waver. You'll learn and I will be there to guide you."

I bit my lip, shifting in bed as I felt my skin stick to the sheets below me. I was perspiring profusely and in need of a shower, but I wouldn't disrupt the exchange happening a few feet from me.

He bit his lip, holding his smile before telling him the most beautiful thing I'd ever heard. "I'm going to tell you something my father—your Tito—told me when I was a teenager: you are gifted, but you're not God," Max shifted in his arms, sneezing in the process. "Bless you, baby," he said, before smiling down at him. "Genuine masculinity doesn't strut, it bows. A real man knows that his strength isn't found in his exploits or what he thinks or what he thinks people think of him. The humility will fuel his compassion and will allow him to forgive those who deeply wound him."

I smiled, feeling the tears stream down my face when Max lifted his little arms and began wailing and shifting in Trevor's arms, "Come on, hand him over."

Trevor looked up, using his legs to come to a stand. "I'm giving you to Mami, hold on bud," he said, passing him over.

Once I had Max in my arms, he slid behind me on the bed, having me rest on his chest so that he could be part of the breastfeeding experience as well. I positioned Max for a proper latch and felt sudden relief from my chest. I felt Trevor's lips on my neck and I hummed at the feel of his lips against my searing skin. I turned my head, smiling at him when I leaned forward, placing my lips to his.

"He's beautiful, Noa," Trevor mused. "You did so incredibly good."

"You know, it actually wasn't as painful this time around, though the contractions were a bitch."

Trevor chuckled, "He looks like you."

I shook my head, utilizing my thumb to wipe away at the tear that was threatening to fall down my son's face. "You said that about Oliver, and now look at him," I chuckled, pushing back onto Trevor and forcing him to lay back.

I felt him shrug, "I think our little Max will have a beautiful mixture of the both of us."

"That'd be nice!" I yawned. "Should we let Tilly and Tristan know that they have a godson?"

Trevor pressed his lips against my temple twice, "They're going to want to bust in here and you're exhausted and he's eating… and quite honestly, I don't want to share you just yet."

"They're not coming to see me anyways," I said in jest. "But, I know we agreed to no visitors until we were settled home and we could have the baby shower then," I yawned again, feeling my energy slowly decrease as my son's eyes drooped. "Oh, and thank you for helping me there at the end."

"You were so exhausted, Noa," he said next to my ear. "You are incredible."

"Me and every woman that ever walked this earth," Trevor snickered and I smiled. "I heard you talking to him."

"Hmm."

"I love the love you have for our children, papi."

I could feel Trevor's bashful smile as he spoke, "I'm only trying to be a great father to them. I want them to think of me as someone they can talk to, no matter what problem they think they may have, and I want them to know that I will always be here for them."

"You already are all those things, Trev."

He pressed a kiss to my hair and wrapped his arms around me, helping me support our son as he slowly drifted to sleep. We had finally welcomed our third and most new addition into the Langan bloodline and neither of us could contain the excitement. Being someone's mother was truly my greatest accomplishment, and seeing the look of utter love and fascination in my husband's eyes at the sight of someone he had helped create was something I could never get used to.

I was most definitely looking forward to the coming months of growth and change, yet I would forever bask in this beautiful bliss.

A/N: This was actually going to be the epilogue of The Assistant and then the muse hit and I came up with the current epilogue that I find most fitting, so I saved this one for a rainy day. :)