Number One

"Papa, I potty," Theo said from between us.

"Ooh, want me to take her?" I asked Trevor, rubbing on my small bump.

"Ah," he contemplated, looking at our surroundings. We had stopped in front of coffee shop, "No, I'll take her in. Order us something warm?"

I nodded as I followed my husband and daughter inside the coffee shop.

We had decided to take Theo to the park before meeting with the family for lunch nearby. I was pregnant and though barely noticeable, I could feel it, and my feet and stamina were definitely feeling it. With Theo's pregnancy—around this time—I was able to do anything I wanted; yet with this pregnancy I was feeling sluggish by the second. My mother had some myths and old wives tales about the gender of our baby and Trevor, being the man that he was, believed it. I smiled, placing our drink orders. As I went to pay, someone behind me spoke.

"I—I got it," I turned, recognizing the voice. "Nice to see you again, Noa," he said with a smile.

He placed his order just as I gaped at the man in front of me. How long had it been since I'd seen him, let alone exist in the same place together? He chuckled, watching as my face turned from surprise, to confusion, to surprise, to elation.

"Have I left you speechless?" he said with a quirk of his brow.

"Yea—Yea," I said, walking forward to embrace the man. "How are you? Oh my God, how long has it been?"

He squeezed my sides, placing a kiss to my hair. "It's been… quite some time, but I'm good, how are you? You look good."

I rolled my eyes with a smile, shaking my head. "Thank you," I sighed, catching my breath. "I've been good, I've been really good. Busy with life, but I can't complain."

He nodded, biting his lip, "I see that you're married, lucky guy."

"Lucky me," I retorted quickly.

He shrugged, "Trust me when I say, lucky guy. You, Noa Diaz, were always a catch. It's a pity I waited so long to talk to you."

I smiled, leaning my hip against the counter. "You always were the smooth talker…" There was a heavy pause and we looked at each other, smirking. Our eyes danced across each other's face when we broke out in laughter, "How's the stock market these days?"

He chuckled, "You do know I'm not a stockbroker, right?"

I shrugged, "Broker, trader, same difference."

"Still impossible as ever, huh?"

I winked, "You know it!"

We laughed, turning when the barista called out our drinks. He took the drink caddy offered, signaling with his head towards an empty table with four chairs. As we sat, he grabbed his cup, pushing the caddy towards me, "To answer your question, expect a stock market tumble to cloud your retirement years."

"Well, isn't that fucking great," he snickered before breaking out in laughter.

Before he could respond, I heard Theo squeal for me, "Mami!"

I turned my head, smiling at my daughter as she ran towards me. I turned slightly, picking her up and sitting her across my lap, placing multiple kisses to her cheek, "Theo, can you say 'hi' to Mami's friend?"

The girl smiled and turned her head. "Hi," she said, elongating the syllable.

The man across from me smiled, crossing his arms, and placing them on the table, "Hey there little one, what's your name?"

Theo looked up at me and I nodded, watching as she turned once more, "I Theo."

"Theodora," I corrected, placing my lips to her crown.

"Wow, Theodora. What happened to Geraldine, and calling her Gildy?"

I laughed, a full belly roar as I threw my head back, "I actually threw the name out there as kind of a joke, but my husband ended up loving the name."

"Just as much as I love you," I heard Trevor say from besides me.

I smiled up at the man and saw as he extended his hand, "Trevor Langan."

"Brody Johnston," he replied, shaking my husband's hand.

"Bro—Brody, from college?" Trevor replied tensely.

"Ah," Brody replied with a smile. "I hope what you've heard of me is all good."

I could feel my cheeks warm up at the sudden turn of the conversation and I could see Trevor tense besides me. He moved behind me to ease into the chair next to me and I handed him his cup, grabbing Theo's as well and giving it to the girl, "Theo, it's hot, so let's wait a little."

The girl nodded and settled on my lap, "Who would've thought hard ass Noa Diaz would be so maternal."

"Bite me, Johnston."

"There she is!" he laughed, shaking his head.

"So, uh, Brody," Trevor began, clearing his throat. "What—What do you do?"

"I am a stock trader for an investment firm."

"Oh, a Wall Street shark," Trevor smirked.

"You have to be if you want to make it in the business."

"Remember when you sat in my dorm pissed beyond measure because you couldn't figure out the mock portfolio?" I giggled.

Brody rolled his eyes, "Ten minutes, that's all it took and I for sure figured it out then."

I blushed, smirking at what he was hinting, and I shook my head. I could feel Trevor's tension from besides me and I knew I was treading dangerous waters. The conversation flowed through the table; Trevor discussed his firm, Brody discussed his firm and the stock market, and he played with Theo and even bought her some cookies to accompany her hot chocolate. I knew Brody was flirting with me, all in lighthearted fun, and I tried to avoid it at every turn, but I gave in a few times.

We bid our farewell, as the time was approaching to meet with the rest of the family, and as we walked over to the café, I could tell something was bothering him, but couldn't exactly pinpoint what. I decided to let it ride and focus on our prancing daughter a couple of feet in front of us. I leaned to his side, feeling the sudden tightening of his muscles.

"Baby, are you ok? You've been awfully quiet since before we left the coffee shop," I prodded gently.

"I'm fine."

"Are you, really?"

"Not now, Noa."

I hummed, releasing his arm, and pushing forward on my stride. If this is how he wanted to do it, then this was how it would be handled. I knew I was at fault for blatantly condoning the flirtatious vibe between Brody and I, but he could speak to me about it. I knew he had a jealous streak—and so did I—but whenever I had been jealous, I always made it known and would make it known, to whomever it was trying to flirt with my husband that he was taken, and his wife was not putting up with such behavior.

It wasn't that I wanted Trevor to show off and it wasn't that I was purposefully attempting to make him angry, but the flirting had stopped once Trevor had joined the table and drawn the conversation away from our dating life. He was the one that kept bringing up our college years; he was the one that kept fishing for trouble, not the other way around, so in a way, that was I teaching him a lesson. Don't go looking for something that you cannot handle. Brody had been nothing but courteous and respectful, but I also knew what he was capable of, it had been one of the reasons that had drawn me to him.

"What's going on with you and Trevor?" Casey asked from besides me.

I sighed, turning on my chair, "Do you remember Brody Johnston?"

"Wrestling Brody or Soccer Brody?"

I furrowed my brow and shook my head in tandem, "No, Case, eww. Soccer Brody!"

Casey snickered, "I was about to say, Noa, but yes, I remember Soccer Brody. He had half the varsity girl's teams heartbroken."

"Yea, well, we dated for about two years. I…" I sighed, rolling my eyes. "I lost my virginity to him."

Casey widened her eyes, "Noa!"

"I ran into him before meeting you all. He was… friendly and Trevor was not having it."

"Neither would I! The fuck?" she seethed.

"I get it, Jesus, I do…" I huffed, "but he was the one that kept fishing for information—"

"And, you should've stopped him. Brody is an ass-wad, Noa," Casey leaned back on her chair, cupping her forehead.

"I tried, but every time I steered the conversation towards another topic, here came Trevor asking about 'young Noa' and 'has she always been this feisty in a relationship'," I rolled my eyes, mocking his voice.

Casey shook her head. "You know how possessive he is of the people he loves," she sighed, running a hand over her face. "I'm not saying either of you are right, but he's going to be pissed about this for some time if you don't fix it."

"Casey—"

"I know you, Noa. Just as much as I know how Brody was back then. We all knew he was a good guy underneath, but the thing that made him most unattractive was his ability to 'humble-brag' about shit."

I sighed. "I know, I know, and I think in the end that was what made me fall for him," I grunted, reaching for my glass of water and taking a sip. "A little jealousy is good, right?"

Casey snickered, "When it's harmless and with strangers. You're talking about the guy that first bedded you, the one Trevor will always be jealous of because he had you before him."

"That's ridiculous and a little sexist."

"But, not a lie."

"Casey," I shook my head, placing the glass in my hand on the table. "I didn't marry a chauvinist."

"No, you married someone who loves you. Someone who will lay down his life in lieu of yours and his daughter."

I nodded and bit my lip, "God, I hate it when you're right."

He'd opened the door for me and a sleeping Theodora draped over my shoulder. The meeting with the family had gone… okay save for my conversation with Casey. I knew she was right and I needed to make this right with my husband. I wasn't going to allow for us to go to bed like this, him angry with me for Brody's blatant disrespect. It had essentially been my fault and I should have kept the conversation light and not stemmed around my previous relationship with him.

I climbed the stairs slowly and carefully to reach my daughter's room. Once I had her safely in bed, I went to my room and shed my shoes, returning downstairs where I found Trevor in the kitchen chucking back a shot of his preferred whisky. I husked my chuckle and he turned, glaring at me, grabbing the bottle, and pouring more of the amber liquid in the glass. I gave him a moment to find whatever comfort he sought in the liquid.

"Are you ready to tell me what's going on with you or am I better off sleeping down here?" I asked, leaning against the kitchen island.

He scoffed, "I… am not happy with you at the moment."

"I gathered as much. Care to tell me why?"

"Like you don't know," he said, bringing the glass to his mouth and finishing off the liquid poured.

"I… have an idea," I said sighing and crossing my arms. "But, I much rather you tell me what's going on."

He chuckled ruefully, pouring one last glass of the auburn liquid in his glass, "You have some fucking nerve unabashedly flirting in front of your husband."

"That wasn't my intention, Trev."

"Could've fooled me!" he shouted, turning to face me. "How would you feel if I were to flirt in front of you with Miranda—"

"Oh, screw you! That's different and you know it."

"—without any regard—different? Different how?" he chuckled with an amused grin. "Huh? It's the same thing."

I took a step forward; "Don't play me for a fool, Trevor. You know that is different. You were engaged to her and furthermore, she openly stated how much she wanted you back. Brody did no such thing."

"So, what?" he said, spinning around. "Am I supposed to be okay with it because he was just your boyfriend?"

"That's not what I'm saying."

"No?" he asked, furrowing his brow. I could see the anger etched between his brows and I bit my lip. I'd hurt him, unintentionally, but I had nonetheless so I had to make this right. "No? Then what are you saying? Because it sounds to me that you're defending the asshole that disrespected our marriage. Or—Or am I wrong?"

I sighed, looking down at my feet. "You're not wrong," I mumbled lowly.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" I could hear the amusement in his voice. He was enjoying this.

I looked up, forcing myself to give him eye contact, "I said: you're not wrong."

Trevor snorted, turning towards the counter, and slapping the glass on the surface. He grabbed the bottle and poured some of the drink in the glass to quickly chuck it back.

"What do you want me to say, Trev?" I asked, taking several steps forward.

He hummed, holding in his mouth the liquid. "Don't. Just… don't," he warned, pointing at me. "You don't get to play the sympathy card this time."

I scoffed, shaking my head. "Sympathy? Sympathy?" I said, turning around to exit the kitchen.

I heard him growl and before I could cross the threshold, his hand surrounded my elbow. "You don't get to do that either," he husked. "You don't get to stonewall me."

I shook my arm from his hold, pushing past him towards the direction he had came in from. It was I now who needed a drink. Of course I was guilty of stonewalling in our arguments, but getting sympathy? That was a low blow.

Sympathy was a word that he tended to use with his clients. I knew, I'd worked with the man for roughly a year and had been married to him for some months to know that it was a word meant to feel as the tip of a dagger. Trevor was calculated and meticulous, he argued for sport and living, he knew what buttons to push, and when to push them. Arguing was second nature to me, I'd been doing it since I could remember, but arguing with Trevor, if not careful, could lead to dangerous areas that were not meant to be treaded out of spite.

I grabbed the bottle of whisky, pouring the liquid in the same glass he had and I stared at the glass. I knew what I was doing. I couldn't be drinking, I was pregnant after all.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" he seethed.

"Oh," I scoffed. "I don't know. Trying to get some sympathy out of you," I said in a biting tone.

"Fuck you, Noa!"

I smirked, turning my head towards his frame. "You're nothing but a grown ass child," I mocked, leaning my hip on the counter. "Why can't you just tell me what is bothering you?"

He took several steps forward, reaching me quickly. He leaned forward, hovering over me, "If you can't see what's bothering me, what's the point of continuing this argument?"

I took a deep breath in, taking notice of how strongly laced with whisky his breath was. He had refrained from drinking during the family lunch because even in his anger, Trevor wouldn't let me drive knowing I was pregnant yet, in the short time we'd been in our home, he'd drunk enough and now had all the liquid courage he could muster to not let me get away with anything. He was usually more levelheaded and even-tempered than this so I knew for sure that he was beyond livid with me. And, it's not that I wanted to 'win' this argument, or 'get away with it', it's just that I didn't want to argue. I hated arguing with him.

Arguing with Trevor got us nowhere each and every time. Debating on the other hand… or even discussing something would've been more productive than what we were doing.

I sighed, closing my eyes. I heard as the glass slid across the countertop and I knew he had drained the liquid in a gulp when I heard him swallow loudly. I knew he was still hovering over me. He was angry, hurt, and frustrated and as a result he had puffed up. He was already astronomically tall so there truly was no need to get big, but all those feelings carried big energy, there was nothing I could do about it. We needed to get to the root of this. This wasn't because we had run into Brody; there was something else here. I could feel it.

"You were the one that kept fishing for information, Trevor. What did you expect Brody to do?" I asked calmly, opening my eyes.

"Fuck what I expected Brody to do. It's what I expected you to do that you didn't!"

I chuckled in amusement, shaking my head, "So, now I'm supposed to read your mind, too? Jesus, Trev—"

"No. No! Stop," he said, waving his hands in front of me. "I stopped Miranda when she implied whatever the fuck it was that she implied that afternoon at the triplex. I made sure you knew that whatever she was saying, it wasn't flying with me, and it would never fly with me because I was and still am a taken man."

I rolled my eyes dramatically, raising my voice, "You're still bringing that up? IT'S NOT THE SAME!"

He stood straight, leaning forward slightly, "It is the same."

"No. No, it isn't," I renewed with vigor. "Miranda was purposefully trying to bait you to see if in the end I could be hurt by whatever you responded. You fished for that fucking information. You wanted to know about Brody's and I relationship. It was a dick-measuring contest, and you fucking know it. And—" I sighed, running my hands through my hair, "—why are we still talking about something that happened almost three years ago? Can you explain that to me?"

"Because it's relevant—"

"It's not," I quickly added, crossing my arms over my chest. "You're making it relevant, that's different."

We glared at each other as I pondered why he kept bringing up the conversation with Miranda. Was there something he wasn't telling me?

I hadn't been upset or mad that she had showed up at the apartment and try to give that, somewhat, bullshit apology then, what would make him think that bringing it up now would make me upset? And, suddenly everything clicked. I knew why he was mad. I understood now why he was mad. This wasn't about me stopping him or Brody from their one-upmanship when it came to me. This was clearly something else. This was beyond comprehension at this point and if I hadn't been so attuned with him, this would've continued to be an issue.

I smiled, shaking my head. "And, now she finds this funny," he mused. "What's so funny about this situation, Noa?"

I shrugged, biting my lip. Trevor had a possessive streak within him and though he was never blatant about it, I knew it was there. I was his. He was mine. Of course we were our own person, but we both were similar when it came to this. It's the sole reason I had chosen to be Noa Langan, because I belonged to him completely.

"You."

"Me?" I nodded, taking a step forward. "I'm glad you find me hilarious," I looped my arms around his waist, flushing my body against his when he tensed. "Stop. Noa, stop."

I shook my head, looking up at him, "No. You stop. Tell me what this really is about. No more yelling. No more cussing. Be honest with me."

I was looking up at him lovingly and I could tell he was about to relent, "You can't do that, Noa."

I sighed, closing my eyes briefly, "Do what?"

"This!"

I opened my eyes. "What? Hug my husband?" Trevor pushed at my forearms, "Stop, just… talk to me. I know what's bothering you, but I want to hear it from your mouth."

"No, you tell me since you're oh so benevolent…"

I smiled, "You aren't mad because I flirted a little."

"Yes, I am—"

I shook my head, "You're mad because I flirted with the guy who took my virginity—"

"Noa!"

"—you're mad because we still have a good relationship. That's why you're upset."

"Yet, you still did it," he conceded quietly.

"I only wanted you a little bit jealous, not full blown agitated. I'm sorry, Trev," I breathed out, placing my chin on his sternum. He shook his head, unable to look at me. "Hey," I said, shaking him briefly in my arms. "Look at me. You don't get to act like a little kid that's been wronged and ignore me now. Use your words."

He sighed, shaking his head. "I saw it today," I furrowed my brows, giving my head a little shake. "I saw today what my buddies and I used to… gloat about in our college years. A girl—a woman—will always be available to the guy that she lost her virginity to."

"Papi," I mused, shaking my head. "I'm not a girl, I'm your wife. I didn't lose my virginity to Brody, I gave it to him; it was my choice, my decision. I just wanted to be sure that he wasn't just with me because of it. I was almost twenty-one, Trev, when I 'lost' my virginity. I was pretty much tired of not experiencing that in some way. I don't regret having done it, and I wasn't attached to him like some of my friends had been to their boyfriends when they had gone through a similar experience. I left him that year for Christ's sake and moved to another country. I have no feelings for Brody."

"It hurt me," his words haunted me.

"I'm sorry, Trev. I'm so sorry—uhn!" I grunted, feeling some fluttering against my stomach. At twenty-three weeks you could barely tell I was pregnant due to my inverted cervix. I did have somewhat of a… stomach, but not nearly as big as I had been with Theodora at this time. "I'm sorry," I whispered one last time.

I had tipped my chin to glance down our pressed together bellies and he grabbed at my chin, "I'm sorry, too."

I shook my head, "I was the asshole."

He snickered, "So was I, but you're pregnant."

"No excuses."

He smiled beautifully, nodding, "Guess he heard all of that, huh?"

I nodded, "I think we woke him up. He'd stopped moving when I finished eating."

"He?" he said with a smirk, running his hands down my body. I rolled my eyes, "You're finally catching on."

I sighed, reacting to Trevor's touch and suddenly feeling out of breath, "Trevor…"

He hummed, touching me wantonly, "Let's get you off your feet that way I can show you how mine you are."

He spoke lowly against my face and I shuddered, "I'm sorry."

He bit his lip, "I'll make you pay, don't you worry."