MINISTRY OF MAGIC UNDER FIRE AFTER WORKER BREAKS OLDEST LAW.
Department of Magical Law Enforcement's Division of Improper Use of Magic Concludes Investigation On Ministry Worker.
This exclusive Me, Myself and I exposé brings all you rabid readers the horrifying truths and unbelievable details that have been revealed by an investigation conducted by The Officers of Improper Use of Magic [IUM]. This investigation was launched when on the first of September, a flying Ford Anglia was spotted by no less than THIRTY Muggles and then proceeded to crash into the Whomping Willow on Hogwarts grounds. Shockingly enough the flying car in question was driven by our own Boy-Who-Lived Henry Potter and his best friend Ronald Weasel, now you may ask yourselves the very questions that I asked myself when I first heard about this;
HOW DID TWO TWELVE-YEAR-OLDS MANAGE TO STEAL AND FLY A CAR?
WHERE WERE THEIR PARENTS?
WHERE DID THEY ACQUIRE A FLYING CAR?
WHY DID THEY DO IT?
I, Rita Skeeter have the scoop.
This investigation was undertaken by IUM Representative; Lord Dion LeClair, the young half-English half-French Wizard, who has been making leaps in our Ministry and the IUM Division after being transferred here to be with his family. Working under the instruction of Amelia Bones, Head of The Department of Magical Law Enforcement, [DMLE]. Lord LeClair was paired with co-workers and friends Lord Corban Yaxley, newly appointed Head Auror, and Lord Lucius Malfoy, Magical Law Consultant, to discover what happened that fateful day. This case started on tough grounds when the Ford Anglia, after hitting the Whomping Willow, then ejecting the two reckless twelve years and their luggage out on the grass, fled into the Forbidden Forest. Our investigators tried to start with interviews of the boys as the guilty parties, but it turns out they were blocked at every turn by none other than Headmaster Albus Dumbledore. "They crashed on Hogwarts property and they are Hogwarts students, therefore it is a Hogwarts matter. Their Head of House, Professor Minerva McGonagall has already seen to their punishment." Dumbledore told them before rudely kicking them out without even trying to help the investigation, shockingly so, it was revealed that their punishment was a solo detention. Ask yourselves why does Dumbledore believe he can ignore the law of co-operation during law investigations? Is it because of his status as current Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot and Supreme Mugwump for the International Confederation of Wizards? Or is it because it involved his precious Boy-Who-Lived? Regardless of their titles, these Wizards need to follow our laws, our determined investigators were refused to be cowered, and returned with higher authority backup, Madame Amelia Bones and Minister Cornelius Fudge. Dumbledore was unable to send them away again without being charged with Obstruction of Justice, although he tried very hard to convince them it was unnecessary to 'grill' second years, who in his own words. "Simply made a mistake."
But readers! I reveal what no-one else can as the interviews commenced, the young boys claim that the Platform Nine and Three Quarters would not them through as their defence, despite that no evidence was recovered by the team of tampering to the barrier. Does this mean our own Boy-Who-Lived is lying about why they did it? His Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor Gilderoy Lockhart was eager to comment. "I believe Henry is very threatened by my fame, why just weeks before, I met him in Flourish and Blotts at my signing of Magical Me! I don't think it is chance that this happened shortly after. I mean to steal his best friends Fathers car just to make an entrance, that screams looking for attention." Yes my beloved fans, you read that correctly. According to Professor Lockhart, many of the Gryffindors talked about it loudly, and the illegally charmed flying car was owned by non-other than Head of Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Arthur Weasel.
SHOCK!
HORROR!
The Misuse of Muggle Artifacts, like Improper Use of Magic, is a division inside the DMLE, reporting for the Law and Justice. Arthur Weasel is known for his strong defence of Muggles, just at the start of this year, he put forth a controversial by-law, The Muggle Protection Act. This bylaw is designed to protect Muggles from potentially harmful Magical or Magically charmed Artifacts entering their world from ours. On the outside, this law seems straightforward and with good intentions to protect us from being discovered, but hidden within this law, are small print conditions. The Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office was given rights to conduct their own searches inside anyone's home that they believe may be hiding such objects without actual evidence. Many Lords of Ancient and Noble households are crying harassment and slander of their names, with a few being searched frequently and thoroughly, whilst other families haven't even made it onto lists for searches let alone actually been searched. In March Arthur Weasel had made a statement to the press in response to these claims. "We are not biased or cruel in our searches. My teams conduct such searchers with honour and pride for the Ministry. We want to protect Muggles, who have no idea of our world, from being in danger from us. We are being just and firm in our beliefs, and we have certainly not targeted or avoided anyone to 'harass or slander' their names. We have our reasons and evidence for each search. The most important thing to remember is if you don't have anything to hide, these searches aren't a problem and are over in short minutes. Why create a fuss when you have done nothing wrong?"
These strong words are looked back on with scorn and as a joke by the Magical world now. Many calling for his resignation and for justice to be served, when asked if the punishment would occur Albus Dumbledore once again stepped forward defending Mr Weasel.
"I do not believe Arthur should be punished as by standard laws, he did not charm the car with the intention of it being seen in the Muggle world, nor is he the one who flew it over London. He can not be sent to Azkaban like some common criminal or Death Eater!" Why does Dumbledore want to control this investigation? From the interviews, all the way to the charges filed and now the sentencing. I found myself asking again if Dumbledore believes himself above the law? Does Mr Weasel believe the same?
"I don't care who you are, you cannot ignore our laws and get away with it. Our laws are there for a reason if we ignore someone enchanting a car does that mean we should ignore an assault or even then a murder. No. The laws are not free to interpret." Madam Amelia Bones spoke to the press just yesterday as part of their release of information on this case. Each of the three investigators had their own thoughts on the blatant disregard of the law.
"Arthur Weasley should be held accountable for the actions that resulted in this incident. I am disgusted with what has happened." Lord LeClair stated. "The law clearly states that in the instance of breaking the statue of secrecy that a large fine, removal of family titles linked to the Wizengamot and loss of Ministry jobs are the punishments for first-time offenders. Second offenders go to Azkaban. Arthur is a Ministry worker! He knows our laws!"
"Weasel has brought the Ministry into disrepute with his actions." Lord Malfoy responded when asked. "He is clearly unfit to draw up our laws and his ridiculous Muggle Protection Act should be scrapped immediately! They are investigating Ancient and Noble Houses, going as far as harassing certain ones, yet one of their own is actually one needing investigating!"
"What the most incomprehensible part for me, is that our own Chief of Wizengamot, who presides over our laws and trials, believes Mr Weasel should be allowed off free and clear." Lord Yaxley followed his partner's statements with his own. "How can someone who is meant to enforce our laws and guide our world, want someone who risked it, to get away?"
Unfortunately, I was unable to get a comment from Arthur and Ronald Weasel about their actions, although when visiting his old wonky home, Mrs Molly Weasel threatened to set the family ghoul on me. James, Lily and Henry Potter refused to comment on the advice of their Lawyer, who I discovered was none other than Albus Dumbledore's best friend, Elphias Doge.
I ask you, readers of Me, Myself and I what is happening with our world when a Ministry worker breaks their written laws, the Boy-Who-Lived shows disregard for the world he saved, and then our Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot thinks they should get away with it? If it was a member of a family that Mr Weasel harassed under the name of his law, would Dumbledore still be protesting against the ruling of the law? Should we really let Henry Potter and Ronald Weasel get away with a mere wand to the hand?
The Quibbler arrived on the seventh of December during breakfast as the Head of Houses walked around getting lists of which students were staying for Christmas and which were going home. Harry grinned as he read over the article aloud to his friends, the rest of the school reading copies that had sent by parents, guardians or siblings. With an article of such stature, everyone was reading it despite many believing The Quibbler was a joke before this.
"I can't believe it's printed already. Mother mentioned in her last letter that Aunt Rita was still working on her sources." Hermione asked confused.
"According to the note that came with my Quibbler, her and Uncle Xeno decided to wrap it up cleanly and get the article out before another paper or magazine covered it." Harry shrugged handing the note over as he bit into the crispy bacon he was holding.
"Fair enough. Although no-one has the sources she has, it wouldn't be as dramatic if someone else released any details now the case is officially closed" Draco muttered as he snickered at his Father's quotes.
"Freddie and Georgie are actually in contact with Aunt Rita now giving her more information on the Potter's and Weasley's, so when the time is right she can strike with everything," Harry said nonchalantly before continuing with a dark chuckle.
"The Weasleys and The Potters will never recover from what they have planned." Hermione cackled much like Muggle fairytale witches.
"Good." Blaise declared firmly. A loud cough pulled them out of their conversation and together they turned to see Severus standing behind Harry holding out two forms.
"I can't wait to go home this Yule." Harry sighed happily as he took the leaving form and wrote his name and Hermione's on it, before handing it back to a distracted Severus who had been pulled into a conversation by few older students about them staying.
"After everything happening this year already we need to relax and let out our stress." Hermione agreed.
"And hopefully Father will have a plan to move forward with for when we come back," Harry muttered, knowing he wouldn't truly be able to relax over the break if he had to spend the entire time worrying about the blasted Diary.
"I am sure he will. Although you did lose it, so logically it should be up to you to strategize a plan." Hermione teased, only for Harry to send a stinging hex at her in retaliation.
"Can you two not even get through a single breakfast without tormenting each other?" Severus sighed in exasperation as he sent up a shield wordlessly to protect Harry from whatever his sister had tried to send back.
"Where's the fun in that?" the twins chorused looking at their Uncle with wide green eyes and an innocent expression.
"Menaces, the both of you, can't figure out how your Father hasn't been driven back into his insanity by the two of you," Severus muttered as he walked away shaking his head to collect more forms.
"Charming." Hermione snickered.
"Thanks for that." Harry snorted at the same time.
"Speaking of Menaces," Hermione spoke, a sadistic grin growing on her face before nodding her head towards the Gryffindor table. Spinning around Harry couldn't help but chuckle, Henry Potter and Ronald Weasley were sitting alone at the end of the long rectangular table. Everyone had moved away giving them a wide berth once they had read or listened to someone read the article. But the dark bags under their eyes from no sleep and the shakes in their hands as they drank gave Harry a perverse pleasure to watch. It filled him with warmth and vindication that his soulmate and twin brother cared about him enough to curse them so badly, and to not let it up yet, on their own brother. Everyone in the Great Hall seemed to be taking turns between laughing at the angry second years and muttering to their friends about the article, shooting them and the Headmaster glares.
"I am going to miss Freddie." Harry sighed as he smiled dopily at his soulmate who sent a conspirative wink when his friends weren't looking. The Potter's and the Weasley's were having a huge Christmas party together, most likely at Potter Manor, Fred had been complaining about it to Harry at length because he hadn't been able to get out of it. Apparently, it was some big event that everyone had to attend, although Fred, George and Ginny had been preparing many of their best pranks to go off for the entirety of the holidays.
"Just remember, it's only two weeks." Luna smiled softly, as she placed her hand on his arm. Harry smiled at his dreamy friend, he couldn't be more grateful he had her, she always understood the sappier side of everyone. And would never use it against them, just gave support for as long as needed before moving on.
"Oh the photo Aunt Rita got of the everyone is hilarious." Pansy snickered, both Mr and Mrs Weasley and Mr and Mrs Potter stood red-faced and shamed behind the metal chairs their sons sat in during the interviews. Rita Skeeter was the Queen of drama, reporting and photos for a reason. Many of Rita's "victims" tried to say everything she wrote was embellished fiction, that she used a poisonous Quick-Quote Quills, misinterpreting the facts and misquoting people to make a good story. But that was not the case, she just knew how to present the story to the readers, how to make even boring stories into intriguing gossip, leaving them to want more. She was sneaky and underhanded, using an illegal bug Animagus form to stalk those that would not give information willingly, but never had she strayed from the truth or dishonoured true reporting facts. Although Harry could freely admit it would be torture to her target, she knew how to spin a tale to make the Wizarding World turn against them when she wanted.
"Oh, Oh, look" Daphne started excitedly as she dropped the braid she had been working on.
"Dumbledore got sent a copy of The Quibbler!" Everyone, within earshot, snapped their heads up to look at their Headmaster reading the article, hands clenched tightly on the magazine.
Albus could feel the colour leaving his face the longer he continued to read, his blue eyes flashing with anger, lips pulled in a deep frown. Finally, he couldn't take anymore and slammed the magazine on the table, causing many of his Professors to jump and send startled looks towards him. Damn that Rita Skeeter, this would be a pain to try and clean up, oh how he wished he could just take care of her, but unfortunately, with Voldemort still inactive, he had no-one to blame it on. Thankfully his lieutenants Minerva and Lily had noticed the article over at the Gryffindor table and was currently rounding up all the copies they could, loudly declaring Rita a lying gossiper writing for a rag. It was then he heard the last thing he needed to hear after the morning he was already having.
"Dumblefucks gotten a howler!" Marcus Flint chortled loudly from Slytherin with a large demented smirk etched on his troll-like face.
"Detention Mr Flint! And 100 points from Slytherin!" Lily screeched causing students from all over to flinch, her voice was like a wand on a chalkboard. But it was too late, Marcus' words had done their damage, everyone had turned to look at the eagle owl carrying a smoking red envelope. Who dared to send him a howler? He, who defeated Grindelwald, and ran their world from behind the scenes. Who led them away from the Dark and kept them safe. He who was the only one Voldemort feared. Right as the howler dropped in front of him another three flew in to join it, he waved his hand sharply wandlessly and wordlessly dismantling the howler charms and rendering all of them into normal letters. Albus looked up upon hearing the students all muttering to find them staring at him, quickly he grabbed the letters and fled with Professor McGonagall and Professor Evans on his heels.
"You slimy snakes! You did this!" Henry Potter yelled, waving The Quibbler in the air as he stormed over to the Slytherin table, Ronald right behind him.
"I have no idea what you are talking about Potter," Harry smirked and held back a chuckle, the two annoyances actually looked worse closer up, Neville's description of the effects didn't do the curse justice.
"Your Death Eaters Fathers are behind this! Trying to get my Father charged!" Ronald shouted, sending spittle flying.
"He did something illegal Weasel, you don't think your family is above the law do you?" Draco drawled tauntingly.
"Like you can talk." Henry snorted.
"Our Fathers didn't work for He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, then claimed Imperius and used bribes to stay out of Azkaban." Ronald continued.
"Well, we all know that your Father won't be able to afford to that at any rate." Hermione mocked. Ronald let out a loud roar of anger as he launched himself at Hermione only to have a hand grasp his collar and yank him causing him to fly backwards violently.
"How undignified Weasley, attacking a girl, with your fists no less." Severus tutted.
"She started it!" Henry shouted in his friend's defence.
"20 points from Gryffindor and Detention. Tonight. For both of you." Severus smirked.
"What?!" They both screeched.
"Do you want to lose more points?" Severus asked with a raised eyebrow, both boys glared before turning around and leaving, stomping and loudly declaring Mr and Mrs Potter wouldn't stand for it. They didn't get far before they rudely bumped into a group of students, this bump caused Lee Jordan to drop his pet tarantula with a cry. Looking down Ronald went ghost white, looking much like Sir Nick he let out a loud high scream in terror before sprinting out of the Great Hall with Henry chasing after him. Lee snorted and shared a wink with Fred and George before picking his pet spider back up and walking away.
"Severus, what was that about?" A familiar gruff voice asked bemusedly.
"Wolf." Severus acknowledged with his patented sneer, holding back a sigh when the man just smiled and tilted his head in question. Since starting at Hogwarts Remus had felt himself change in the most magical ways, almost everyone was entirely accepting of his 'furry problem'. Severus still called him Wolf as he did after their fifth year, but it was more playful, less spiteful, almost banter.
"Your precious Gryffindors were taunting my snakes, when they returned in kind, Weasley launched himself at Miss Riddle and tried to punch her like a common Muggle." Severus recounted with a sneer.
"He punched you, Miss Riddle?!" Remus asked shocked as he moved to check her over.
"He tried Professor Lupin, but Professor Snape grabbed him," Hermione whispered shakily, wringing her hands as she averted her gaze to the table nervously. Remus sighed and shook his head.
"Disgusting behaviour. I don't know what went so awry with those boy's." Remus muttered as he placed his hand on her shoulder in support. Severus snorted but otherwise kept his scathing replies to himself, something that did not go unnoticed.
"I will make sure they show up for their detentions tonight," Remus said with a sigh, Severus nodded in thanks before spinning around and stalking out.
"Well, I will take my leave, and I shall see you all in History of Magic first class, don't be late." Remus smiled and waved as he started to walk away.
"Professor Lupin! Wait!" Harry called out, packing up his bag and saying a hurried goodbye to his sister and friends before rushing after the man.
"Yes, Mr Riddle?" Remus asked kindly as the young second year fell into step beside him.
"I had some questions about last class I wanted to ask."
"Of course, we can talk while I set up," Remus replied, opening the door to his classroom and motioning Harry in first, before following him. With a silent wish of his wand, Remus had the chalkboard clear of what Harry could only assume was an outline for an older year groups homework for the weekend. Another flick had the topic of that morning's class; Medieval Assembly of European Wizards, they had started it in their last class and were set for another three lessons on it.
"What was your question?" Remus asked as he perched himself on the edge of his solid mahogany desk.
"I had a few." Harry started politely sitting down at the student desk closest to his Professor.
"We talked about when the Assembly gave their first Bravery Against Fantastic Beasts award in 1290 to Barry Winkle for taking out a group of Quintaped's, saving his six-year-old granddaughters life. But when was the Assembly actually founded?" Remus grinned at the inquisitive expression, so reminiscent of himself at that age, it always filled him happiness when a student came to him wanting to learn more.
"We are actually covering that in today's lesson." Remus chuckled.
"It will be how we link up to our next subject after this, covering The International Warlock Convention of 1289 correctly and not boring you and your classmates to death. But in September of 1289, The International Warlock Convention worked together with a subcommittee of Sardinian Sorcerers to form the Medieval Assembly of European Wizards. The last lesson was more of me getting an idea of how much had been taken in during Binns classes at the start of the year on this topic, it was not as much as it should've been. Today I will be starting with basics of the Assembly." Harry nodded thoughtfully, absently taking notes, the man's rough voice easy to listen to and tone free of condensation or arrogance.
"Should I wait to ask more? You might cover it if you are going to start from the easy stuff" Harry asked with a head tilt and shrug.
"You can, you are welcome to stay after and ask then if I didn't cover them, but I do mind helping you first, even if I do repeat it later." Remus chuckled.
"I can wait." Harry smiled, Remus was easy to talk to, he felt a connection with the werewolf, it would be only too easy to bond with the man, despite the years apart.
"We have fifteen minutes before the first bell goes, would you like a hot chocolate or tea?" Remus asked with a smirk as he called in a Hogwarts staff elf.
"Is iced pumpkin juice okay?" Harry asked, grinning when Remus placed their order.
"So are you enjoying your second year at Hogwarts?" Remus asked as their drinks popped into existence next them.
"The classes are better, more exciting, we are doing more practical work now. Although the whole Chamber thing is a bit of a storm on the Quidditch pitch, I mean all the houses are looking at us Slytherins as if we are behind it. And the rules and restrictions are getting worse as the year goes on."
"Yes, I can't imagine how it would feel to be against the entire school like that. But I am here for support, Professor's Sprout and Flitwick will also listen to you if someone tries anything.
"Not McGonagall?" Harry asked teasingly.
"I don't like to speak ill of colleagues, let alone to a student. But Minerva is quite biased, I fear she would not listen and reverse it onto you or your housemates. Even the stuff she let me and my friends get away with school, I look back horrified, we got worse as we grew up because we never got punished, and it could've ended worse than it did for us. I don't intend to let that happen under my watch." Harry stared in shock, he never thought Remus would open up like that, he had heard, of course, the story of the whomping willow and how his uncle Severus almost died at a transformed Remus' hands. Sirius, Remus, James and Peter were treated like they had just put a sticking charm on someone's shoes, and Severus was at fault for listening to them. They should never have gotten away with it. They needed to remove Dumbledore and McGonagall so each student would be treated fairly and punished justly.
I can't believe how long this chapter took me. I was just getting nowhere. I hope you are all still with me and I promise I will not just disappear, I will always be writing, even it takes me ages to get it done. I refuse to put out something I am not happy with. I do apologize, and hope you enjoy this chapter.