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Thank you, all of you.
"Arizona, what are you talking about?" Callie asked
Arizona was looking everywhere but Callie; she didn't mean to yell this out, but her emotion got the best of her, and now she was stuck. She knew Callie wasn't going to back down.
"Arizona!" Callie said
"Nothing Callie… it… it's nothing… forget about it," Arizona said dismissively.
"No! It's 'nothing'… you are avoiding the eye contact… it means it's something," Callie insisted.
"No, I am not," Arizona replied louder than usual, making Callie raise her eyebrows. "Believe me …it's nothing."
"Either you think I am stupid, or you think that you are an excellent liar… and let me tell you… It's neither," Callie said firmly. "So, stop avoiding and tell me what you mean by that?"
Arizona let out a defeated sigh. "Callie, can you please let it go"
"You know I won't."
"Fine!" Arizona said, sitting back on the couch. "But before I tell you, please note that I am not complaining; it was a long time ago, and we made up after that" Callie nodded. "Well, it was around your accident."
"The Car Crash?" Callie questioned in shock, "and NOW you are telling me?"
"Do you want me to tell, or do you want to first fight on why I didn't tell you before?"
"Fine! I won't say anything; please continue," Callie pursed her lips.
"When you were unconscious, there was a point where we had to choose between you and the baby. Addison had to deliver the baby soon and save your life or let the baby develop and risk yours."
"That's easy, Sofia," Callie replied quickly.
"I thought that too… no matter how much it hurt me to think that there would have been a world where you were not there… I knew that if I had chosen you over Sofia, you would have never forgiven me, and that's what I told Mark, but he disagreed," Arizona said sadly.
"Mark wanted to save me?" Callie asked, shocked; never in her life would she have guessed that Mark would ever be ready to trade Sofia for anything; she shivered, thinking about what if they had chosen Callie and there was no Sofia in their life. The mere thought of that made Callie tear up.
"Umm… yeah… we argued… I knew that if we lost Sofia, you wouldn't ever be the same… All you ever wanted… more than anything was a baby; if she didn't survive, you wouldn't have survived either. we said some stuff… I told him it's you and me and our life together, and he is… umm… basically a sperm donor…." Arizona said, looking at her hand in her lap.
"And he told me that's it's, not a big deal and if the baby didn't survive… umm you and … ahem… he will screw again and have another baby," Arizona replied in almost a whisper while Callie's eyes widened in shock "… it pissed me off… as if my existence doesn't matter… as if I would stand on sidelines and let you two… to have a baby again… and..." Arizona halted in between; she didn't want to tell this last part. She might have told Callie if Mark was still alive and would've secretly enjoyed Callie ripping Mark a new one. But now, he is not among them, and she didn't want to taint his memory.
"What? He said something even more horrible than what you just told me," Callie asked, still in shock.
"Well… yeah… but it doesn't matter now, Callie, it was a long time and …" Arizona tried to avoid telling the next piece of information.
"Arizona… finish the story," Callie said firmly.
Arizona gave another defeated sigh; there was no way Callie was letting this go without listening to the whole story.
"Umm... he…he then proceeded to say that you and the baby were his family and that you are the mother, and he is the father and…and…." Arizona took a shaky breath and Callie's heart rate increased "… I am not anything… I am nothing" She finishes with tearful eyes.
Callie clasped the hand on her mouth; she wasn't expecting this. She expected some idiotic comment from Mark, but that was Mark being Mark. But this? This is way beyond her imagination. Now she understood what Arizona meant when she said that she always had to prove that she was Sofia's mother. She also understood the implication of what her lawyers said during the custody hearing; the person who was never supposed to say all this, the person who should have fought with the world to support her wife, the mother of her child, the person who should be the first one to say that Arizona is, by all means, the mother of Sofia; did the complete opposite of what she should have. After the Custody battle, Callie felt embarrassed to stay in that hospital because she had just lost custody of the child she gave birth to. But today, she was even more ashamed of her contribution to Arizona's grief and insecurity.
Callie stood there just like that without saying anything, with one hand covering her mouth and another on her chest. Arizona, since then, had sat down on the couch, unable to stand due to the weight of her emotions.
After a few moments, Callie went to sit in front of Arizona; she took Arizona's hands, which were covering her face, planted a kiss on both of them, and then took her face between her palms. She lifted her face to meet her eyes. Both women had the same devastation and tears in their eyes.
"I am sorry," Callie said in a whisper.
"Why are YOU saying sorry, Callie" Arizona said with a sad smile. "You didn't say all those things… and Mark later apologized too"
"I am not apologizing for Mark… I am apologizing for my part in your heartache" Arizona looked at Callie, confused. "I am apologizing for letting anyone, and I mean anyone… including me, Mark or... or my lawyer, tell you that you are not Sofia's mother," Callie said apologetically.
"Callie… you don't," Arizona said, shaking her head.
"Let me say it, Arizona… you have the biggest heart, and you forgave all of us for treating you so awfully… especially me… but let me apologize so that I can feel a little bit less guilty." Callie pleaded, and Arizona nodded slightly.
"I am sorry for whatever my Lawyer said during the hearing; I am sorry for letting her say that you were anything but an excellent mother… sorry for ever implying that Sofia is mine and not yours… The truth couldn't be far from this. Sofia is your as much as she is mine, if not more…, and I don't want you to change that court order… I don't want you to be in any situation where anybody can question or challenge you… If something happens to me, there shouldn't be a single soul on this planet who can take Sofia away from you… If I am not…." Callie was interpreted by the set of pink lips pressed against her. Arizona pulled Callie into a passionate kiss.
"Aren't we done with the apologies?" Arizona said, breaking the kiss and pulling Callie to her lap, "didn't we say that all in the past is forgiven, and all we need to focus upon is the now and the future?"
Callie leaned in and captured Arizona's lips again "we did… but there is this one thing that I can never apologize enough for. And no matter how many times you say that it's okay and you have moved on from that incident. I know it still stings, and it breaks my heart to see that I am the reason for that wound."
"Why are you taking the blame on yourself… you weren't the only one," Arizona replied, caressing Callie's face lovingly.
"Because mine is what matters," Callie replied sadly. "There will always be people who will say one thing or other either to our daughter for having two moms, to us for being gay, or to you about Sofia… but people don't matter… I, you, and Sofia matter, and the people in our lives matter, and these people shouldn't be the one who breaks our heart… these people should be the one who shields us when the world outside attacks us… your parents are those shields; our friends are the ones who make us feel secure and normal…. And…" Callie swallowed a lump. "I should have been that shield for you… and I failed you miserably."
"And I should have been the person who would never break your trust and betray our marriage, but yet here we are," Arizona replied calmly. "We are human, Calliope; we are bound to make mistakes and learn from them. We can't stop making mistakes, but we can ensure never to repeat them."
"I won't say that it doesn't hurt when someone says that Sofia isn't mine… because it does, and it brings back all the memories. But believe me, Callie, I don't blame you OR Mark anymore for that… yes it completely shattered me when I heard from the biological parents of Sofia, the two people who had the right to write me off of Sofia's life… and yes, I have had many nightmares where you or Mark threw me out of her life" Arizona said avoiding eye contact, uncomfortable with her vulnerability " But believe me when I say that I have no grudges against you or him… it's just today touched a nerve, and I lost it"
Callie smiled slightly and kissed Arizona's cheek, nose, forehead, and lips before getting up and removing Arizona's prosthetics; she then pulled her down to lie on the sofa. She held Arizona tightly, whose head was on Callie's chest.
"I love you… you know that?" Callie whispered, "So…so much
She felt Arizona smile against the crook of her neck. "I do know that… and I love you too… more than anything..."
Callie took a deep breath, pulled Arizona impossibly close, and both women drifted off to sleep as the exhaustion of the whole day consumed them.
…
The next day they were woken by their bundle of energy, who found her moms sleeping on the sofa instead of their bed.
"Mami, Mama," Sofia called out for her mother.
"Uh! Sofia, what are you doing up so early?" Callie mumbled sleepily.
"It's eight already, Mami… and I am hungry," Sofia replied,
"it's 8?" Callie exclaimed loudly. "Sweetie, wake up," she added, shaking Arizona lightly, who was still halfway lying on top of Callie.
"Umm mm," Arizona mumbled Incoherently.
"Arizona, wake up," Callie said softly, running her hands in Arizona's hair.
"Don't wanna, boobs so good," Arizona replied, nuzzling her face further into Callie's chest.
"Arizona!" Callie shrieked, "Sofia is here" She whispered the last part making Arizona open her eyes.
"What? Where? why?" Arizona said, looking around "why are we on the couch?"
Callie laughed wholeheartedly. "We slept here last night… with you pretty much on top of me," Callie said, gesturing at their position on the sofa.
"Oh!" Arizona said, smiling "no wonder I slept so well." Making Callie chuckle.
The trio sat at the table for breakfast which Callie cooked. Sofia chattered around about many things while Arizona tried to keep up with her fast-changing topic. On the other hand, Callie was sitting quietly and was not getting involved in the conversation, nor was she listening to Sofia's chatter.
"Callie," Arizona said, putting her hand over Callie's, bringing her out of her thoughts, "you, okay?"
"Huh!" Callie said, looking up for the first time since they sat at the table.
"Where are you? You look like you are miles away?" Arizona asked, sounding concerned
"Oh, it…. It's nothing" Callie looked at Arizona and pleaded with her eyes not to say anything, not in front of Sofia. Arizona understood and didn't push the subject.
After some time, when Callie went to take a shower, Arizona made a call and started to get ready.
"Hey," Callie said, coming out of the bathroom, "are you going somewhere," She asked, looking at Arizona, all dressed up to go out.
"Umm... yeah… I just got a call for … umm... the clinic, and they need me for some signature…So… I'll be back in a few hours," Arizona said, avoiding Callie's gaze. Fortunately, Callie looked for clothes to wear to see Arizona's flustered expression.
"Oh, okay… come soon… I'll miss you," she said, smiling and kissing Arizona's cheek.
…
When Arizona first entered the lobby, she walked with determination; she walked tall with confidence and purpose; she got on the elevator and pressed the button for the 11th floor. Getting out on the desired floor, she reached room 1104 and knocked on the door. All through the elevator ride, she kept thinking and repeating all the things she needed to say, but now she felt like her brain had gone to shutdown mode, and the sensible, coherent thoughts went off her mind. The door swung open, revealing an almost bald man in a grey suit.
"Dr. Robbins… please come in," Carlos said, gesturing to Arizona in the room.
"Thank you, Mr. Torres," Arizona replied politely.
"Please, Dr. Robbins… we can forgo the formalities. It's Carlos to you."
"Well, in that case, please call me Arizona."
"Of course, Arizona... please come and have a seat" Carlos gestured towards the couch and took the seat opposite her. He picked up the phone and ordered a coffee for them.
"How can I help you, Arizona?" Carlos asked after a while.
"Well, I came here to talk to Mrs. Torres… to be honest," Arizona replied, and Carlos frowned his eyebrows in confusion. "I mean mainly with her… but with your permission, of course."
"Of course, dear… you don't need to take my permission for that… and I guess I know what your topic id discussion would be, "Carlos said with a gentle smile.
Arizona smiled back and nodded. "She has gone to the spa downstairs… but would be back in a few minutes," Carlos said, glancing at his watch. "Till then, tell me about your clinic."
They talked for another 15 minutes when they heard the door knock indicating Lucia's arrival. Carlos got up to open it and greeted Lucia with a kiss. "Come on in, dear…someone is here to meet you," Carlos said.
Lucia entered the room, and as soon as her eyes fell on Arizona, her smile faltered. "What is she doing here?" Lucia asked, looking at Carlos.
"Darling… please be nice and listen to what Arizona has to say," Carlos tried to reason out.
"I have nothing to say to her," Lucia said in a huff, and before Carlos could say anything further, she went out to the balcony of their hotel room.
Carlos was about to go behind his wife when Arizona got up and gestured towards the balcony. "Can I?" Arizona asked.
Carlos hesitated. First, he didn't want Arizona to get subjected to Lucia's wrath, but on the other hand, he tried to solve this issue but failed, and Arizona was his last hope. If anything was going to get through, Lucia's thick mindset was Arizona's assertion; after all, he had first-hand experience of it.
He nodded his head and escorted Arizona to the balcony. Once Arizona stepped out, he stayed back and let them talk.
Arizona strolled towards Lucia, who was staring at the city view.
"Mrs. Torres?" Arizona said. Lucia didn't reply, nor did she turn around. She maintained her posture and kept staring at the buildings in front of her.
Arizona cleared he throat and straightened her spine. "Mrs. Torres, I came here to talk to you, and I am not leaving until I do," Arizona said with determination.
Lucia turned around in a huff; she glared at Arizona, "I have nothing to say to the person who is part of my daughter's sinful life… There is nothing you can say that will change my mind."
Arizona took a heavy breath; she was ready for this bashing but still, it irked her a little. She hoped Lucia would see past her belief system and accept Callie. So, lashing out at Lucia was not an option. She took a brief pause, aligned her thoughts, and took a few steps towards where Lucia was standing, looking out of the balcony again. She leaned on the railing with her back towards the view.
"My brother was the first person I told about being gay. I was so scared when I went to his room to tell him… I wasn't even scared to tell my parents, but I was afraid to tell him because I knew that if he rejected me for this…. I won't be able to bear it…. The opinion of the people you love the most has the power to make you or break you, and I knew that his rejection would destroy me. But he supported me and accepted me wholeheartedly because that's what a family is supposed to do. Family supports you, loves you unconditionally, they catch you when you fall and push you to fly high." Lucia didn't say a word the whole time, but Arizona knew she was listening intently.
"Calliope loves you, she loves her family, and it pains me to see the hurt on her face, which she tries to hide. The pain she feels pains me too. I love your daughter more than anything and anyone in this world… isn't it enough? Shouldn't it make you happy that your daughter is loved? Isn't your daughter in a happy and loving relationship and has a wonderful daughter of her own? Isn't this what all parents want…for their kids to be happy?"
Lucia turned slowly toward Arizona. She had a mixture of resentment and desperation on her face. "Of course, I want her to be happy… she is my daughter, for god's sake… All I ever want is her happiness… but her joy is as important as other things I want from her… I want her to be virtuous… in this life and the afterlife.
"And she is," Arizona replied with conviction, "Mrs. Torres… your daughter is a virtuous woman… she is smart, intelligent, and religious… she is kind and loving and faithful, and she is dutiful towards all her responsibility… she is a great mother and amazing human, and she helps people… isn't helping people is serving GOD? You Daughter is virtuous."
"But she is a sinner," Lucia said with a sob. "I won't see her in Heaven, and knowing that breaks my heart."
Arizona took a long, deep breath; she was tired of repeatedly listening to the same line. She wanted to shout at Lucia for being so narrow-minded, but then the face of Callie from the morning came to her mind, and she knew that she would have to give all she had to make Lucia understand and hope to God she does. Arizona took a few moments before speaking.
"You know I have a whole family of veterans; My Grandfather was in the Navy, my father was a Marine, while my brother was in Army. He was two years older than me; he was my rock, my best friend… my partner in crime. One day I was home on vacation; my dad and mother were watching a movie and laughing when a knock came on the door. I went to open it and what I saw; I wasn't prepared for it. Two Army soldiers were standing at my door with grim expressions." Arizona's voice started to get heavier with every word.
"Being an Army brat, I knew what it meant. I have seen that before in my family, but still, I wasn't prepared. I wasn't prepared to live in a world where my brother was not there to support me, to hold my hand when I fall." Arizona's eyes were brimming with tears. "My life shattered that day; my parent's life shattered that day… the pain was so much that it felt like it was burning my lungs every time I breathed." Arizona cleared her throat and took a few moments to gather herself.
"For my Parents and me… This was hell… for them losing their 26 years old son… was hell…." Arizona said, enunciating each word, "I was lost in the woods, and my parents had no idea that I was alive or not… they thought they lost their other child too…. They were in hell… You think that they care about what will happen in the afterlife when the worst that could happen has already happened here?"Arizona paused to let her words sink in.
"You are afraid of not seeing your daughter in heaven? A place that may or may not be there, and you are willing to abandon your child for that?"
Lucia finally turned toward Arizona and said, "Are you trying to say that what's written in the bible about heaven and hell is not true?"
Arizona shook her head vigorously. "I am not trying to say anything against the bible or any religion for that matter… My personal opinion doesn't matter right now…. All I am saying is all we know with certainty is the Present… this moment right now. We can ONLY imagine what it would be like after death. Are you willing to sacrifice and suffer today for the possibility of a better afterlife… if there is any?"
"Your daughter is amazing… she is kind and helps people… she takes so many pro bono cases to treat the poor… don't you think it counts for something? How can you, me, or anybody be the judge of what is right or wrong in God's eye?... Do you really think God will discount all of her good deeds and would punish her for loving a woman? Would all the wishes and blessings she gets when she makes someone walk or move their hand not account for anything?"
Lucia had no reply; her beliefs and faith were deeply rooted in her, but Arizona's words were cutting through these roots, and her mind was in a dilemma.
When Arizona got no reply from Lucia, she spoke again, "Mrs. Torres's life is too short to spend in so much resentment… I will marry your daughter again someday, so I am not going anywhere. Sofia and Callie are two amazing people, and Callie loves you so much… so now… it's for you to decide whether you want to spend your life resenting your daughter and miss out on your grandchild growing into a wonderful person, or you want to be a part of their life where you can be her favorite Abuela. If you want to hate anyone, hate me; I can take it but don't hate your daughter. Because it would be your loss, and now You've to decide whether I am worth the loss that big?"
Lucia took a deep breath, and her eyes were brimming with tears; it looked like she wanted to say something but couldn't. Arizona disappointingly hung her head and turned towards the balcony door, but just before she was about to open it, she turned around one last time and said, "You say that you are afraid that you won't see Calliope in Heaven… I am sorry, but with all the hate and abandonment you have subjected your daughter to… are you sure YOU will be there?" with that Arizona left front, leaving Lucia shocked and wondering.
"Thank you for giving me time to talk to her, Carlos," Arizona said, picking up her bag.
"Mention Not Arizona," Carlos said, getting up from the couch. "Any luck?" He asked, gesturing towards the balcony.
Arizona pursed her lips and shrugged. "I tried my best… I hope she comes around… for Calliope."
"I hope so too."
…
It was around noon when Arizona entered Callie's house. "Hey, how was work?" Callie asked, greeting Arizona with a kiss
"It was fine… I gave my best shot and hope she comes around," Arizona said, sounding lost.
"Who comes around?" Callie asked in confusion " I thought you went to sign some documents."
"Oh… ahem yeah… umm… There was also a mother who came in for treatment… umm… so her child… I mean girl… she … I am talking about her," Arizona responded, stuttering.
"Arizona?" Callie said, holding Arizona's hand, "are you okay? I have never seen you so nervous."
Arizona gathered herself and gave Callie the best smile she could muster. "Yeah… I am fine… just tired."
Thankfully Callie bought it. "Oh, oh-kay…. You go rest… I'll finish up the lunch here."
Arizona didn't need to tell twice. She turned around and went to lie on the couch; the encounter with Lucia was emotionally exhausting. Arizona was finally feeling the full effect of it, and before she knew it, she was asleep. Callie woke her up in 1 hour for lunch.
There wasn't much communication over the lunch table, a little chit-chat here and there, after which Arizona left for her house.
…
The next day Callie had a relaxed day at the hospital, a few consultations, and minor surgeries, and she was off by 5. She got home switched on the music, and started cooking dinner for her and Sofia. It was a weekday, and Arizona was staying at her place, which Callie found ridiculous because they had recently spent almost every night together. She wanted to ask Arizona to move in but knew that Arizona would think it was too soon, so she decided to keep her mouth shut. She didn't want to spook her and take any steps back in their relationship. They were committed and loved each other; for now, it was enough. She was swinging her hips and shoulder on "Havana oh na na" when she heard the knock on the door. Wondering who it can be at this hour, she opens the door. She wasn't expecting any of the people standing in front of her.
"Ari… Dad… Mom?" Callie mumbled in shock.
A/N: Hey all
I know it's been long, and I am sorry for the delay. I hope to find time now… it has been a hectic few months.
I would like to say that there might be some things in this chapter that some people might have found offensive. I had no intention to disrespect any religion; what I wrote is my opinion and the necessity of this story.
If anyone you felt offended, I am genuinely sorry.
I hope you like what I presented to you today…
Let me hear it in reviews...
Stay Safe
Love
~RT