Oh, god, there she is. What do I say? Just hello? Fuck, my voice is gonna crack if I do. Just think of something. Hurry. Quick.
Okay good start. On topic, sounds like a casual conversation . . .
Fuck, I shouldn't have said that. We're not on a first-name basis.
Double fuck, I shouldn't have said that either. How many Eli's are there in this house, for Christ's sake!
Triple fuck, she already knows that. Why else would I be here? Jesus Christ, this is not going well. Keep it together, keep it together . . .
Fuck, she's gonna think that that was a jab at her.
She remembers me? Jesus Christ, she's good. She's gonna figure it out, isn't she? I'll bet she already knows. She can probably see through me like a window.
Oh, fuck, I sound like a dork. Alright, how do I recover from this?
Yeah, that didn't sound foreboding at all. Good job, Eli. You really nailed it. Useless piece of shit!
She has nice teeth. Was she always this pretty, or did I just not notice it before? Oh, shit, Grady said they split up, didn't he? She might still be single-
Bad idea! Christ, what am I thinking? . . .
Alright, keep her invested. What are some fun facts? Shit, she probably heard this already. She worked at the fucking park, and she's way more "with it" than I am.
Shit, I should be looking at her. What if she sees it in my eyes? What if she realizes that I'm a fraud? AH!
She's just walking past. Fuck. Don't be so jumpy. Calm down. Breathe.
Okay, walk casually.
Too casual! I should have kept my hand up. No, wait, then it feels like a lecture. What's more natural? Shit, she's talking.
Oh, okay. She seems happy enough. She's enjoying the tour, at least. Good. We're doing better. Keep going.
Fuck, I sound so wooden. She can tell that I'm lying, I just know it!
Okay, don't walk into the fossil display by accident. That would be a disaster.
Good. We're doing good. Make her believe it. Emote. There we go.
AH! Okay, don't panic, he's not here for you. We're having a regular meeting, just like we planned. Nobody suspects a thing.
Fuck, they're probably closer with each other than I am with anyone in this mansion. What does that say about my relationships? Nothing. Calm down.
Okay, he's going off on a tangent. Let him explain. Pretend to care. That's it. Good.
Wait, is that her bra? I can totally see the line through her sweater-
FOCUS.
Okay, yeah, he's going on and on about the philosophy of saving extinct creatures, blah, blah, blah . . . Christ, can this be over? She doesn't need to know any of this extra stuff, Ben, so just shut up and let me get this over with!
Fuck, she has nice legs.
AH! Look sad, look sad!
There we go. Reflecting on the past, being pensive and whatnot . . . I'm really nailing this! Good job, me!
Oh, thank god. You're a lifesaver, Iris.
Fuck, now she's gonna start calling me by my first name. Thanks, asshole.
Wait, that's a good thing.
No, don't get attached. You might have to-
No, no, no, no, n-
SHIT! I TOLD YOU TO STAY IN YOUR ROOM, MAISIE! Lousy little twerp . . .
Okay, you've practiced this story a billion times. Don't fuck it up.
Jesus, why do I always sound so awkward? I think she bought it, though. Good.
Oh, great! She's on board. Maybe.
Okay, just lead her upstairs, make small talk-
Wow, I'm surprised that she remembers that. No, fuck, what am I saying? I almost ruined her life that day.
Shit, I still might ruin her life.
Aw, man, after all of that, she considers it a fond memory. No wonder she remembers me. I don't deserve this.
Don't look sad. She'll suspect something.
FUCK. Pretend to be pensive, pretend to be pensive.
Okay, good, I killed two birds with one stone. It feels good to get that apology off my chest. She really deserves better.
And now I'm screwing her over. Great.
Alright, show her the plan. That's what we're here for. No reason to act suspicious.
God, why do I even bother explaining this? She already knows what I'm talking about.
Fuck, am I leaning too close? What if she thinks that I'm flirting with her?
Shit! Don't flatter her like this. It's suspicious, is what it is . . .
Oh. Now she's doing it, too. Is she flirting back?
Wait. I'm not flirting. Christ. What am I doing?
Oh, she's just invested in the dinosaurs. Makes sense. Why would she want someone like me?
Tell her about the raptor. Get it out of the way. Deep breaths.
Wow, I knew Grady wasn't exactly a deep thinker, but even I could have come up with a better name.
Oh, what about "Falcon"? That would be so badass . . .
Okay, here's the hard part. They parted on bad terms, so-
-so they're not an item anymore.
Is she seeing someone else? She must be busy with her Dinosaur Preservation Group or Protection Group or whatever it was called. Fuck, I'd better look it up later. Man, she must be so grateful for what I'm doing- what I'm pretending to do, rather. That gives me an in.
Shit, I shouldn't even be thinking about this.
Still . . .
Okay, okay. Just wait until this is all over. If and when she gets back from the island, I can make a move.
Oh my gosh, I should send a couple of dinosaurs to the new island and bring her there so she can see what they're like in nature!
No, that's too much work. Keep the lie simple, Eli.
Oh, good. She's nodding. She'll convince Grady, no problem. Shit, I'd follow those thighs to a billion burning islands, no problem.
Stay focused.
Okay, everything is going as planned. Even if she doesn't convince Grady, I still have her, which means I can track the raptor. And if she brings her ex to the island, there's always a chance that he'll get eaten.
God, I hope they don't reconnect.
Naw, that's highly unlikely. She's too good for that loser. And he's probably going to die.
Eli Mills, you've done it again!
. . .
Oh, god. This was a mistake.
***TSJWFKFEW***
Okay, I'll just say it. I like being around Eli. Something about him just makes me happy. Maybe it's because he says nice things about me. I mean, I usually hate it when people shower me with compliments, because I know they're just being fake to get a favor out of me, but Eli is so honest about it. I'll be talking about something that's been bugging me, like my ugly feet, and he'll reply with, "Oh, really? I think they're kind of nice." Like, he's genuinely surprised when I talk about how much I hate myself, because . . . well, because from his point of view, it seems like everything I despise about my appearance is actually attractive, and self-evidently so. And when he compliments me, he compliments me right. What do I mean by that? Well, he doesn't try to argue with me or invalidate my feelings. Even if he disagrees with my assessments, he'll actually listen to what I have to say. I often notice that I've been going off on long tangents without realizing it, and that a good five minutes may have passed without Eli getting a word in. More surprising than the fact that he doesn't interrupt me is that he's still listening when I finally decide to end my rant. He looks at me with those big, blue eyes, completely invested in what I'm saying, just as though the menial problems I have mean the world to him. I can tell when people are losing interest in a conversation, and Eli's mind somehow doesn't wander when I'm talking.
I'm not used to being listened to. If it was Owen, he'd probably cut me off to tell me that I'm wrong, or else he'd make a joke to lighten the mood, and if he ever waited for me to finish, he'd reply with, "That's why we need to fix you." Even at the best of times, the only tangible support he can offer is empty platitudes that subtly place the blame on me for being upset. If I struggle with a training exercise, he'll tell me, "Hey, you're still learning. Everyone feels anxious when they're put on the spot." Yeah, thanks Owen. I really needed to hear that my emotions are just some run-of-the-mill reflex instead of a dangerous force that's slowly tearing me apart. And, oh god, the other day, I was telling him how angry I was at Zia for comparing me to a cow, and he said, "She didn't mean to hurt you. I'm sure she was just trying to be funny." I know she was, Owen! I'm not imperceptive, and I can tell when people are aiming for comedy. That doesn't make it hurt any less! And- and- Okay, so this one time, I was struggling with the gun exercise, and I got fed up and started crying, and I was like, "I don't know why I even bother!" and the always-sympathetic Owen replied with, "Because you want to get better." Everything he says is technically true, but he's just so condescending, pretending to be "wise" with his constant positivity. He's trying to be a self-help book, but he just comes off as a complete asshole. It's like he's looking down on me for even feeling these things, like having emotional breaking points makes me less "enlightened" than he is, what with his total lack of compassion. But this shouldn't be some student/master relationship. I'm not his pupil, and I'm not one of his damn animals! I know he's only taking this approach because he doesn't want to hurt my feelings again, but it's still not helping. He's so fake, and he thinks I can't see it, even though it's painfully obvious. He's trying to trick me. But he's underestimated my abilities, which is pretty in-character for him.
Eli, on the other hand, is able to ride that fine line between encouraging and understanding. He never responds by telling me that the problem is my attitude, or that I should just change my outlook, but he still manages to help me find a solution. He's able to say, "Yeah, that sucks," and more importantly, "They shouldn't have done that to you." I've lost count of how many times Owen has refused to take my side, accidentally or not. If someone hurts my feelings or does something incredibly shitty, it's always, "They don't know what they're doing," or, "They meant something else, but it came out wrong." And I know- I KNOW- that my friends don't mean to hurt me. But they do. Sometimes, they just say the wrong thing, and it's an accident, yes, but a harmful accident with consequences. Like, okay, using that cow thing as an example, I told Eli about what Zia had said, and he was like, "That was really rude of her. She should know better. Has she apologized yet?" That last sentence could have come out of Owen, but the subtext was completely different. If it had been Owen, the phrase would have translated to, "I'll bet she's already apologized, and you're just looking for an excuse to be angry," but with Eli, it would be more like, "If she hasn't already apologized, she damn well better!" And yes, she had apologized, and I told him so. He followed up with, "Did she say sorry, or did she actually apologize?" and I said, "She didn't mean it sincerely. She was just brushing me off," and Eli said, "Yeah, I figured. I know being brusque and dismissive is her whole 'thing', but she shouldn't do that to a friend," and I said, "She likes to make fun of me as a joke, and I get that. We insult each other sometimes, and we know it's not real. It can be a good thing, even. It brings us closer together. But lately, I haven't been particularly happy about discovering new reasons to hate myself." And then he gave me this sad look, like he understood exactly what I was talking about, and said, "I don't know Zia very well, but it sounds like she's usually a good friend to you," and I said, "She is," and he said, "She also seems more comfortable with being a dinosaur- or whatever she is- than most of us, so it's possible that she doesn't understand why her comments have started to hurt you all of a sudden. On the other hand, maybe she's trying to hold onto the way things were in an attempt to make you feel better. Either way, she's not doing you any favours. I'm sorry this happened. I hope you two can work this out." Well, long story short, I settled things with Zia, and Eli was happy to hear about it when I told him. He said that we had a good thing going, and that Zia and Franklin and I were like a really unlikely trio that somehow made a lot of sense, which is exactly how I feel. I hadn't been able to put it into words, but . . . Anyway, I left to spend some time with them, and Eli waved goodbye like he was genuinely glad to see that we were getting along again. He was happy because I was happy, and that's why he did everything he could to support me. And yes, I know that if you weren't there, you could read this whole thing as a selfish act, taking into account his recent confession, but here's the thing: he wasn't flirting with me. He was as good as his word, when it came to the whole "not making things weird" deal. How could someone with such a strict adherence to decency ever . . . do what he did?
Remembering what Eli Mills had done to me and my friends in the past always felt like a bucket of cold water being dumped over my head. There was a massive disconnect between those memories and the person I was seeing now. I asked myself which of the two Eli's was the real Eli, and the answer was . . . both. His life had taken a dark turn at some point, and he had become a monster for a stretch of time. He was by no means an innocent soul caught up in some tangle of corruption- he was very much responsible for what he did- but since then, he'd turned over a new leaf, and though his mistakes would follow him like a shadow, he was genuinely trying to be the best man he could be. And sometimes, he didn't have to try. Unlike Owen, who struggled to so much as admit that I could ever be capable of surpassing him in any regard, Eli was overjoyed to witness my successes, because . . . Well, I don't really know why. Because he liked me, I suppose. But shouldn't that also be true for Owen?
I guess the thing that truly separated the two men was the fact that Owen had encased himself in a sturdy layer of pride, and was afraid of what might happen if he showed any sign of vulnerability. Eli, on the other hand, knew that I had no reason to respect him, considering everything he'd done, so he didn't even try to act like he was above me. Instead, he just sort of . . . did the right thing whenever he could. When I needed someone to vent to, he'd be there. And he wouldn't try to "fix" me while I poured my heart out, but I think he ended up doing exactly that, just by being attentive. Even though a lot of my rants didn't have any discernible point of closure, simply recounting what I was pissed off about somehow made me feel better. I guess being heard had the effect of empowering me, as opposed to having to deal with someone who took my words as permission to attempt a solution, just to prove how superior he was. With Eli, I could finally own my emotions without facing judgment. It was amazing.
I trotted up to him one morning, and as always, when he saw me coming, his face lit up like a Christmas Tree. Why didn't Owen ever do that? It was so wonderful to know that another person was happy to see me. It made me feel wanted.
Anyway, I greeted him, and he smiled in that weird closed-mouth-but-still-toothy dinosaur way, and I sat down to have breakfast with him. He seemed humbled by this gesture, as though my continued presence had improved his morning significantly. I suppose that that was fairly likely, since I remained his only close friend after the incident at the manor.
"How's the octane, this morning?" I chirped.
"Definitely not premium, but I'll live."
I placed my chin on my paws.
"Moonwatcher's not putting in the money, huh?"
He shook his head.
"Naw, but it's no big deal. It all tastes like shit anyway."
"Maybe you could look into diesel."
"I know you're joking, but Moonwatcher actually tried that already. It did not end well."
I leaned forward with interest.
"How so?"
He gave a pained smile.
"The stuff was like meth, only it wasn't addictive, and it mostly made me scream at my shadow for two hours. Guy had it coming, though. How about you? Still on a diet of fish heads?"
I snuffed.
"I convinced Moonwatcher to stop feeding me those. I'm not sure why she decided to give me that crap in the first place."
"Sometimes, I wonder if she knows what she's doing."
"Not me."
He raised his eyebrows.
"No?"
"I know she doesn't."
Eli chuckled.
"God, what are we gonna do with our fate in her hands?"
"Probably not try to escape on a hovercraft."
"Yeah, probably not."
"And subsequently crash it."
"Mm-mm."
"And almost get ourselves ki-"
"Yeah, I get the idea," he said, rolling his eyes.
I smiled.
"You ever think of leaving?"
He shrugged.
"Not anymore. I think things are finally turning around . . . Plus Moonwatcher put a tracking device in my tire."
"Ah."
"It's not as bad as Henry's. He got it right in the foot."
"Do you not feel anything in your tires, then?"
"It's a dull sensation, like the skin on your heels, I suppose. But I do feel things. I got a nail in my treads the other day. Hurt like hell."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be. I was swerving to avoid hitting a deer. It was worth a little hole in my tire."
"Mmm. Let me know if you need help getting rid of any roadkill."
He quirked a brow.
"Not getting enough red meat?"
"Maisie hasn't been feeding me rats, lately."
Eli's smile faded. He bit his lip and looked down at his tires.
"Am I . . . Am I causing problems?"
"No, Eli, you're not causing problems."
He twisted his mouth.
"But she's upset because I'm around all the time."
"Well, maybe, but-"
"Claire, if it's too much, I don't have to be here. I don't want to get in the way of-"
"You're not getting in the way, Eli."
He frowned.
"Come on, Claire. I know how she feels about me. And she has every right to. It's not like I've forgotten what happened . . . what I did."
I exhaled, letting my paw slide from the table to my lap.
"She's not happy that I'm spending time with you, but she'll get used to it. She doesn't have to like it, as long as she accepts that it's going to happen."
"It doesn't have to, though: that's my point. Maisie needs you more than I do."
I tapped my curved claws irritably.
"Eli, this isn't a big deal. She can learn to-"
"Claire, I killed her grandfather."
Although he said this relatively calmly, I could see a delicate shudder rippling across his scales. He still had trouble grasping the implications of what he had done, but he was even more uncomfortable letting it stay the elephant in the room. Best to get it out in the open, instead of leaving it un-said.
I took a deep breath.
"I don't think she'll ever forgive you, but that doesn't mean we can't be friends."
He looked away.
"Maisie is a big part of your life now. I don't want to interfere with that."
I scoffed.
"Wish you'd said that instead of challenging Owen to a race way back when."
I winced at his pained expression.
"I'm sorry . . ."
"Jesus Christ, Claire! Don't apologize! You're just stating what happened, and yes, it was a very bad plan."
"Well, it hurt you more than it hurt us."
"If you mean physically, I can't disagree. My arm still doesn't move right. Hope it's not permanent."
"Maybe you should see a doctor."
"Or a mechanic. But that'd cost money, and I'm burning through my savings as is."
I hummed.
"Did Moonwatcher find a way to get your financial stuff from the other world?"
He nodded.
"She's mostly in control of it, of course. I wouldn't complain if it was just me- I've made some bad decisions, and I don't deserve as much as I'm getting- but I have a bad feeling that she's doing the same thing to you and the others, which isn't right."
"Are you still going to try to overthrow her?"
"No, I'm not. I've accepted that she's in charge here, and even if it's not ideal- downright tyrannical, actually- it's just the way things are. No use rocking the boat when I've sailed so far."
I nodded.
"It sucks, though. I know she's taking advantage of us, but we have no choice in the matter. Life wasn't always perfect back home, but at least we weren't constantly being watched by some sinister figure selling our lives as popular media."
"That we know of."
I laughed.
"Yes, that we know of."
My heart sunk when I noticed Moonwatcher standing outside the café. If I had learned anything during my time in this world, it was that her arrival often marked the beginning of a significant downturn in my mood. As she entered the coffee shop, Eli lowered his voice.
"Claire, I'm serious. If me being here is causing any trouble at all-"
"It's not. Don't worry, Eli. We're fine."
He gave me a doubtful look, but faked a smile when Moonwatcher skipped up to us. She grinned.
"Hey, you two! Are you ready for another adventure?"
I lowered my head.
"No . . ."
"Good! Because we're way over-budget, and we have to do a bottle episode to cut corners!"
"A what?" we asked at the same time.
***TSJWFKFEW***
Moonwatcher led us to a room full of junk.
"I need you to sort through this stuff so we can ship it to the new museum we're building in New World City."
"New World City?" I echoed.
"We bought New York," she said with a shrug.
And yet she couldn't afford a cure for my condition. Yikes.
Eli poked a pile of toys with his wheel. Several plastic dinosaurs clattered to the floor, along with a rope.
"So . . . we're just doing chores for you, is that it?"
"Eeyup!" she guffawed, "You three will have plenty to talk about in the meantime, I'm sure."
"Us three?"
She reached behind the doorframe and led Maisie into the room. My heart nearly stopped. Moonwatcher gave a cheerful wave.
"Have fun! See you in three hours."
As she slammed the door shut, I bolted forward.
"Wait, no, no, no!"
She locked us in. I scratched at the metal, but it was no use. She had made up her mind to put us through hell, and there was no getting around it. I sighed and turned to Maisie, who was staring at Eli with terror.
"Sweetheart, you don't have to do anything. You can just sit in the corner and play with these toys, okay?"
I handed her a small triceratops. She glared at me, tossed it to the side, and went to sit in the corner of the room. Eli glanced at me nervously. I met his gaze briefly, then hopped over to her, claws clicking on the concrete. I put my hand on her shoulder. She shrugged it off.
"Maisie, I know this is hard for you, but-"
"I don't want to talk to you."
I bit my lower beak.
"I . . . I know, but-"
"Go away."
I stepped backwards hesitantly.
"Okay, baby, okay. I'll give you some time to think things through. But I want you to know that I love you more than anything in the world, and-"
"If that was true, you'd send him away."
I tried not to notice the smell of fear and despair that wafted off Eli, but he was shaking now, and I feared another emotional breakdown was coming. From any one of us, I mean. I turned away from him and started digging through a pile of trinkets.
"Let's just get this over with."
***TSJWFKFEW***
An hour into our chores, Maisie found some miscellaneous knickknacks to play with. Despite this, she wasn't happy in the slightest. None of us had said a word since we started, but that didn't mean nothing was happening. When you can smell the emotions coming off of people, you realize just how much is going on in their heads. Eli switched between several states of worry, giving off that bitter sadness-smell, and Maisie was absolutely furious. Even as she rummaged through the junk, I could feel her hateful stare burning holes through me. Of all the people who have stopped trusting me over the years, this one instance hit me the hardest. I was supposed to take care of Maisie. Unlike Karen or Zara or even Owen, Maisie wasn't an adult, and thus had a more significant and indispensable dependence on me. She needed me to do more than just help her along. She required my continual presence, my unceasing loyalty. And I had gone off to socialize with the person who killed her grandfather-slash-actual-father-slash-creator. I may be an adult who's perfectly capable of handling herself around former villains, but whether I like it or not, my actions have an effect on my sweet, innocent daughter who wants to know exactly why the fuck I'm betraying her like this. Not in those words exactly, I hope. There was no way I could concisely explain the situation, nor prove to her that Eli was ready to change. I don't think she'd ever believe him, and even if she did, forgiveness was still off the table. And, you know, fair enough. He did make her life significantly worse. On the other hand, whenever she glared at him, he'd turn away and get that sad puppy dog look on his face, then try to hide it when he realized that I was watching him.
God, that face breaks me.
As I righted a large, purple brachiosaurus head next to a cardboard palm tree costume, I noticed that Eli had found a particularly interesting action figure. It was a reddish Rex: exactly the kind of thing Maisie would be interested in. He checked to make sure that no one was watching (I observed him from the corner of my eye), then dropped the toy and kicked it over to Maisie, pretending that his wheel had slipped as he ducked behind a pile of clothing. She lifted the dinosaur in both hands and looked it over. Eli smiled as she started playing with it, and I felt my heart glowing. What a sweet man.
Of course, I soon caught myself. Charmed though I may be by Eli's actions, he still hadn't made up for what he'd done. I had no doubt that he had shifted his alliance, but that didn't mean he was getting off scot-free. He still had a long way to go, and a few kind gestures didn't count as redemption.
"Claire?"
I perked up, glad that Maisie had decided to speak to me again. My joy turned to confusion when she held up a large, red button.
"It says 'DO NOT PRESS'. Do you think it's dangerous?"
I snorted.
"Five bucks says this is another attempt by Moonwatcher to send us on some high-speed adventure."
Suddenly, Moonwatcher burst into the room.
"It isn't! Put that down, Maisie. I forgot it was in here."
I rolled my eyes.
"We're not falling for your tricks, Moonwatcher. We already know that you have a fondness for button-related 'plot points', as you call them, and this is too coincidental to be an accident."
Moonwatcher held up her hands.
"I swear by The Star, I'm not fucking around. Put the button down, Maisie. I'm serious."
"What does it do?" she asked.
"It'll take you far away. Then we won't have a bottle episode, first of all, and we'll have to explain ourselves to- Look, just give me the button."
"Don't give her the button," I cooed, "Just press it so we can get this over with."
Maisie did as she was told, and suddenly, there was a bright flash of light. All four of us were teleported to a small room. Moonwatcher slapped the button out of Maisie's hands.
"You little twerp! You've fucked us over real bad, you know that? Thank god she's not nearby."
"Who?" I asked.
The sound of a lock clicking caught our attention. Moonwatcher's eyes went wide.
"Everyone, stay close to me," she whispered, "We're getting out of here."
Eli, who was forced to crouched because of the low ceiling, dipped his head down uncomfortably. I stood beside him.
"Maisie, get close to m-"
She wasn't in the room.
"Maisie!"
Before Moonwatcher could hold me back, I darted down the hall, following Maisie's smell. It led me downstairs, towards the front door. I saw her waddling forward, holding something in her hand. I peeked over her shoulder and saw a glowing, white rock.
"Maisie, what's that?" I whispered.
She didn't have time to answer me, for the rock began to hum fiercely, and someone rounded the corner.
I am not used to seeing a human reflection in the mirror anymore. I'm even less used to seeing my human form from the outside. But the woman who appeared in front of me could have been my mirror image, except she acted independently from me, and I was currently a dinosaur, so we didn't much look alike. I let out a feeble squeak, and she froze up in response. Moonwatcher came barreling down the hall, then screeched to a stop and covered her mouth.
"Oh my god, it's Bryce Dallas Howard! Rather, it's an entity that is legally distinct from Bryce Dallas Howard, as she has not given her consent to appear in this w- What are you doing?"
Maisie held out the rock, then pulled it back, repeating this action several times over. It hummed with energy when it was close to the woman.
"Wait, is that what I think it is? . . ." Moonwatcher asked.
And then something really weird happened. The woman flung herself in the other direction, became a blur of pastel fur, and crashed through the wall in the form of a giant bat. Moonwatcher blinked.
"Good news! We figured out why you have bat DNA, Claire, and we're also allowed to involve the entity that is legally distinct from Bryce Dallas Howard in the story, because she is now an original character: Bryce-Bat. Who would have thought that renowned actress, Bryce Dallas Howard, was pretending to be someone else the whole time? I guess it makes sense in hindsight."
After a pause, she batted her eyes.
"We should probably go after her."
We darted out of the house. Eli squeezed through the bat-shaped hole with a pained grunt. As we ran after the furry creature, Maisie pulled a small, golden whistle from her back pocket and blew hard. I gave her a questioning look as we ran, but soon found myself knocked off-balance by a massive canine that leapt over my head. The hyena-looking creature pounced, grabbing the bat by the wing and pulling her down from the sky. She hit the ground hard, and tears started pouring out of her eyes as she made a sound not dissimilar to a rubber duck.
"I've got you now, bat! No more running . . ."
"Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak!" cried Bryce Dallas Howard.
"You gave up your right to mercy when you robbed me of my depth perception."
The hound reached up and removed her left eye, which was made of glass. I realized that her fur was parted by thin scars, which seemed to be the exact same size as the bat's claws.
"Hyenadogs are known for holding grudges, and unfortunately for you, I didn't much like having my eye gouged out."
"Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak," said Bryce Dallas Howard.
"I don't care if I look better with one eye!" the hyenadog snapped, "You took something from me, and now it's time to return the favour . . ."
As she prepared to strike, Eli raised a claw to object.
"Um, excuse me? I'm very confused right now. Can someone explain what's going on?"
Moonwatcher sighed hoarsely.
"Stacy the Hyenadog has been searching for the last living Asterparan Bat because she was hired by the dragon from whom I was extracted to carry out a genocide to please a tiger who was also responsible for the massacre of the Stegoceratops under a different name and somehow then decided to become the director of Fallen Kingdom while the bat hid under the alias of Bryce Dallas Howard and was allied to the father of the dragon from whom I was extracted who at the time was posing as Colin Trevorrow in a mutual agreement and was also working for the director of Fallen Kingdom while he tried to destroy our world as a mystery narrator, meaning Bryce-Bat is either a double-agent or wildly incompetent."
Silence. Stacy looked down at the bat, who was still pinned under her foot.
"Well? Which is it?"
"Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak," said Bryce Dallas Howard.
"She says that she didn't know the director of Fallen Kingdom was secretly responsible for at least two genocides, but in hindsight it makes a lot of sense, since she was told by the dragon's father to report any Stegoceratops sightings, which she just assumed was a measure to keep the dragon's story contained, but was actually a command from the director of Fallen Kingdom intended to facilitate ethnic cleansing."
"Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak," added Bryce Dallas Howard.
"She says it was all very confusing and disorganized."
"Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak."
"They paid her in cacti."
After a long pause, Stacy grabbed the bat by the scruff of her neck.
"Well, bats won't exterminate themselves, so-"
Eli rolled forward.
"Wait! . . . Genocide is wrong! . . . Like, very wrong? . . ."
Stacy snorted.
"So is murder, but at least two of you have- YOW!"
The bat chomped down on her toe and fled, hobbling away on a mangled wing. Stacy growled and tore after her, but Maisie suddenly leapt forward and grabbed her leg.
"Wait! Don't hurt the bat! She didn't do anything wrong!"
She shrieked as the hound kicked her away. I ran over to cradle her. She wasn't hurt. Just upset.
"Thanks for your help, little girl, but I'm afraid I have no use for you now. Get in my way again, and you'll lose more than your trust in authority figures."
She bounded away, snarling fiercely. Maisie buried her face in my chest and started weeping.
"This is all my fault!"
"No it isn't, sweetheart."
"She's going to kill her!"
Eli shook his head.
"The bat escaped once before. I'm sure she can handle herself."
"She'll be just fine," I added.
"Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak," agreed Bryce Dallas Howard.
We all jumped.
"What the hell?" Eli barked, "How did you get back here?"
"Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak," said Bryce Dallas Howard.
"She says that she just made a loop around that house over there," Moonwatcher explained.
The bat withdrew her tongue from her nostril and licked her lips, staring vacantly at us. Eli groaned.
"So now we have an angry hound after us."
I shrugged.
"At least she doesn't have depth perception."
"Yeah, well, that didn't stop her from grabbing a bat out of the sky. We're not exactly at an advantage, here."
"Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak," said Bryce Dallas Howard.
"She says her own eyesight is better," Moonwatcher translated.
"Aren't bats supposed to be blind?" Eli asked.
Bryce Dallas Howard's ears folded backwards as she frowned. I winced.
"Eli, bats aren't actually blind. They can see during the day, but they see better at night, when they echolocate to catch bugs or fruit or something."
She let out a high-pitched squeal to demonstrate. Eli tried to cover his ears, but found he couldn't reach.
"AH! I get it! You can stop now!"
She closed her mouth. Suddenly, her fangs seemed a lot less menacing. They poked through her lips like a vampire, but a really cute vampire that was covered in rainbow fur. And speaking of her fur, it was giving off the sweet stink of marzipan, which I've never liked. Beneath it, I could smell flowers and hairspray, with a hint of Hyenadog spit. The bat was marked by light orange cuts where Stacy had mauled her, and while she wasn't injured badly, the lacerations looked like they might sting.
(I could finish the job. She wouldn't suspect a thing.)
Christ! Of all the times for this to flare up!
(She'd taste like candy . . .)
The bat's ears gave a subtle twitch, and she turned to me with an accusatory look. Her ears flattened, and she backed away slowly. I shook my head and turned away.
"Moonwatcher, I'm getting sick. She smells like food, and it's not helping with my impulses. I think I need some time alone."
Eli laughed.
"Is she driving you 'Moonbatty'?"
He winced as he received a cold stare from the bat.
"Sorry. I meant no offense."
"None taken," Moonwatcher squawked obliviously, "But this is a bad time to leave, Claire. We need to get not-actually-Bryce-Dallas-Howard-or-we-could-get-sued back home. We can't just wait around in the middle of the road."
"Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak!"
"She says that she doesn't want to lead Stacy to her house. It'll put her family in danger," Moonwatcher sighed with frustration.
"Then why don't we talk to Captain Stacy?" Eli suggested.
Bryce Dallas Howard narrowed her eyes.
"Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak."
"She says that she doesn't like the 'racist minivan'."
Eli gulped.
"I'm sorry, Miss . . . Bat, but I didn't mean to-"
She leaned forward angrily.
"Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak."
"She says that you may smell like Rafe Spall, but there is a terrible darkness in your heart, and also, you have below-average fuel economy."
Eli bit his lip.
"Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"
She growled.
"Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak."
"Jesus Christ, lady!" Moonwatcher laughed, "She told you to perish, Eli!"
He rolled backwards, giving the bat a defeated look.
"Is there anything . . . else?"
"Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak."
"She says, 'Find me a cactus'."
"Why?"
"Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak."
"She's hungry."
"Then I guess I'm getting you a cactus. Here I go . . ."
He met my gaze as he left, and seemed to be expecting a harsh word from myself as well. I guess he saw some of me in the bat, and I don't blame him. We almost smelled the same, and we would have looked the same if I wasn't a dinosaur . . . and if she wasn't a bat, I suppose. Instead of discouraging him, I gave a cheerful thumbs-up, and the corners of his mouth twitched upwards slightly. It was a start, anyway.
"Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak."
The bat was talking to me now.
"What'd she say?" I asked Moonwatcher.
"She asked if you can kill Captain Stacy."
My jaw dropped.
"WHAT?!"
"Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak."
"She says that she figured you'd wimp out, but it was worth a shot. She can't do it herself, because bats don't kill."
"Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak."
"She says that she might just be thinking of Batman."
"Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak?"
"I don't know, Ms. Howard. I think it depends on the comic you're reading."
Maisie, meanwhile, had inched closer and closer to the furry creature without being noticed. She stared at the rat-like tail that dragged behind her, looking rather confused. The pinkish limb gave a twitch, and brushed up against her leg. The bat wheeled around, fur standing on end. Maisie covered her eyes.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to get you in trouble!"
The bat blinked once, then sniffed her aggressively. Apparently, she decided that Maisie meant her no harm, because she promptly scooped her up and tucked her beneath her body. I moved forward to intervene, but the big furball had decided that Maisie belonged to her- at least temporarily- and sat on her like a hen. Maisie peeked out from her belly-fur.
"Claire? . . ."
"I think she just wants to protect you, sweetheart."
"But she's not my mother!"
"Yeah, well, maybe you'd like her better."
(Fuck, what am I doing? I can't make snippy comments at a child. I'm supposed to be the adult here, not some jealous crank!)
I could tell that I had hurt Maisie, however subtly. It was just another reason for her not to trust me, I suppose. Still, I tiptoed up to the bat and extended my paw. Maisie took it, and I pulled her out, much to the animal's displeasure.
"I'm sorry, but Maisie is coming home with me."
"Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak!"
I turned to Moonwatcher.
"What did she say?"
"Are you sure you want to know? . . ."
"Yes."
"She said that you're not the child's mother."
I frowned.
"You're wrong. Maisie is my daughter, and-"
"No, I'm not."
Those words were like a dagger in my heart. My grip loosened on Maisie, and she slipped out of my arms.
"I don't belong to anyone. I don't have a mother."
I thought my relationship with Maisie had reached a low point when she was depressed and weird and locked away in her room, but whatever emotional damage she had endured back then was a million times easier to accept than the fact that she hated me now. Never in a million years would I have expected to see that level of utter revulsion in her eyes. In a way, I was glad that she at least wasn't wallowing in despair anymore, even if she had replaced that emotion with something worse. She had accepted the fact that I was nothing more than a monster, and she could finally let go of the hope that I'd be cured, which meant that I could do the same.
I started walking away. Moonwatcher cut me off.
"Where are you going?"
"Away."
"Right now? Seriously?"
"Yes. I need to be alone."
(Even though I already am.)
"Well, you'd better come back once we get this all sorted out."
"I will."
"Hurry back. Eli will have found a cactus by now, and once the bat is happy, we can vamoose."
"Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak!"
Moonwatcher folded her hands diplomatically.
"I'm sure she won't find you again. Your evasive manoeuvre seems to have fooled her."
"Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak . . ."
I didn't hear the rest of the conversation. Once I found a quiet place between two houses, I lay on my side and wept.
***TSJWFKFEW***
Maisie found me a few minutes later. I tried to hastily wipe my eyes and steady my breathing, but it was too late to conceal my breakdown. Knowing that she was going to see me cry made me feel even worse, and I felt the tears starting all over again. I have a very clear memory of the first time I saw my own mother cry, and I had hoped to spare Maisie from that confusion and worry. But I suppose I wasn't really her mother, and she was bound to see me break sooner or later. I turned away from her with a gentle moo, but she knelt down beside me and hugged my neck. I rested my chin on her back, letting the tears flow freely. After a few seconds of sobbing, I managed to pull myself together.
"I'm sorry."
Maisie stroked my neck.
"I know. I'm sorry, too."
I shook my head.
"You don't have to be sorry, Maisie. I've failed you. I was supposed to be a good mother, and even though I became a dinosaur, I was given a second chance, but I blew it like the first time. I'm sorry that I couldn't do it right. You deserve better than this."
I stood.
"Let's get you home to Owen, okay? We've been away long enough. Is Eli back with the cactus?"
Maisie nodded.
"Okay. Let's go, then."
She laced her fingers through mine as we walked, and my heart crumbled. There was no going back now, though. What I had done to her was unforgivable. It was bad enough that I had tried to hurt her back when my dinosaur side was out of control, but now I had screwed up even more through sheer carelessness. It was a miracle that I'd lasted this long, even.
I was momentarily distracted from my woes by the sight of our batty friend eating a saguaro. She had a funny way of going about it, let me tell you! She pressed her snout against the body, using her nose as a pincushion, and shot out the needles like she was sneezing. Then, she chewed the de-quilled insides with a fuzzy bat-smile. I approached her with curiosity. Eli saw me coming and shrugged.
"I found it growing nearby. There were others along the way, but I didn't want to steal from someone's back porch."
I nodded, but said nothing. I think he sensed that I was avoiding interaction, and I had a feeling he knew perfectly well why that was. He accepted it, however, and turned away awkwardly.
"Can we go yet?" I asked Moonwatcher.
"Not until the bat's happy. We don't want her to press charges."
"Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak," said Bryce Dallas Howard through a mouthful of cactus chunks.
Moonwatcher filed down her nails casually.
"So, does that mean you're willing to overlook this little kerfuffle?"
"Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak!"
The bat turned to Eli, then out of nowhere, sneezed aggressively. Eli's jaw dropped as he found himself covered in shimmering snot.
"You're clean, Eli," Moonwatcher announced.
"I'm covered in bat boogers!"
"No, I mean, she cured your AIDS. That's what bat snot does."
When he realized that she wasn't joking, Eli shifted uncertainly.
"After so many years of pain and suffering, all it took was a sneeze?"
"Yep."
He lowered his head.
"I'm glad I won't have to worry about it anymore, but the stigma will never go away. I won't be able to forget about the people who turned their backs on me, or how it affected my outlook on life. I guess I'm glad that I found out who my real friends are, though in a way-"
"Just say 'thank you', you dingle!" Moonwatcher groaned.
Eli nodded.
"Thank you, Bat."
"Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak," said Bryce Dallas Howard.
Eli nodded.
"I'm sorry for hurting you. I shouldn't have made that joke."
"Squeal squeak squeak squeak squeak."
"She says that she forgives you, and that you're a lot nicer than she expected, considering how you were in the movie."
Maisie stamped her foot, making us all jump.
"Eli Mills is not a nice person! He's a killer and a complete monster!"
Suddenly, I found myself in an awkward situation. Should I tell Maisie to tone it down and risk losing her trust again, or force Eli to endure her rage? She was only telling the truth, and Eli knew that. I had no doubt that he'd sit there and take it. More often than not, it was his preferred solution. Getting angry was a no-go, and getting upset would seem like an attempt to manipulate whoever was bringing up their grievances. But the dead look he got in his eyes when this happened was concerning. It was as though his past was slowly sucking the life out of him, killing all hope for a happy future. Luckily for me, he actually responded, for once.
"I'm sorry, Maisie."
She growled and hurled a slice of cactus at his wheel.
"That's not good enough! How can you apologize and expect that to be enough?"
"I don't," he insisted, "Nothing I do can change the past, Maisie. All I can offer is the promise that I'll never hurt anyone again."
"Liar!"
"I'm telling the truth."
"You're lying, just like you lied to grandpa!"
"I'm not. Please, Maisie-"
"You told him that you were going to save the dinosaurs, but instead you locked them up in cages!"
"Well, Maisie, if it's any consolation, that didn't end too well for me, either."
"You were going to let them die! If I hadn't let them out, they would have suffocated!"
My blood turned to ice. Maisie had just let slip a sinister scrap of information at the worst possible time. This bombshell was an eventuality, but I had hoped that we could break it to Eli gently. I didn't know how he'd take the news, after all. I hate to admit it, but I expected anger. Instead, he went pale, stumbling backwards before falling onto his rump and letting his wheels splay out in front of him.
"You . . . you let out the dinosaurs."
"And I don't regret it, no matter what anybody says!" Maisie snapped.
Eli gulped, rubbing his arm with a shaky paw.
"You let them out of the garage. It was you?"
"Yes!"
Eli's jaw seemed to be locked in place. He looked as though he might faint. Maisie cocked her head, still frowning.
"What's the matter with him?" she asked me.
Before I could answer, Moonwatcher skipped in front of me.
"Well, Maisie, when you set the dinosaurs free, they-"
In the blink of an eye, Eli was on his wheels again. He reached out and grabbed Moonwatcher by the collar.
"STOP! You are NOT putting that responsibility on a CHILD!"
She swatted him away.
"She'll find out sooner or later . . ."
Eli growled in warning.
"If you breathe a word, I swear to god, I'll-"
He realized that making threats was a bad look. He cleared his throat and backed off.
"I'll be really upset. Please, don't spring this on her right now. She's been through so much already."
Maisie glared at him.
"More lies?"
Eli's face contorted into the sad puppy frown. His eyes darted back and forth as he struggled to find the words to explain the situation to Maisie without revealing too much. Eventually, he gave up, taking the fall in the least graceful manner he possibly could have.
"Yes, Maisie, I'm lying to you. You caught me. I lied to you again, and now it's time to go home."
"Are you going to speak to my mother again?"
He looked at me with sad, sad eyes.
"No, I'm not."
"Good."
She turned to me, and was thrown off by my expression. I think she realized that I was discouraged by her bitterness, but I still reached out and gave her a hug. Moonwatcher rolled her eyes.
"You guys have issues."
Eli snarled, suddenly furious.
"Shut up, Moonwatcher! Nobody likes you!"
"They're not supposed to like me."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean? God, if it's not one thing, it's another! I can't believe we got stuck with some lousy author who can't write for shit and laughs at her own jokes!"
Moonwatcher giggled. After a pause, she shrugged.
"Sorry, you wouldn't get it. It's kind of meta."
Eli tossed his head.
"You're an incompetent phony with the maturity of a child, not even! You're more like a shit-flinging monkey! And I know that because nobody calls themselves 'Moonwatcher' unless they're a filthy ape! You're just someone's pet!"
Moonwatcher hummed.
"Accurate, but may I remind you that my creator is gone, hopef- possibly forever."
"If she's anything like you, I'm glad!"
Eli realized how aggressive his tone was and kicked the ground with frustration.
"I'm sorry! I just- Argh!"
He clenched his teeth and took a few heavy breaths.
"I'm fine. I'm calm. Just get us out of here, please."
Moonwatcher sighed.
"No, you're right, Eli. I'm not a real author. I don't even know how to pronounce 'sake'."
"You literally just did."
"IN A WRITTEN MEDIUM, IT'S LEFT AMBIGUOUS, AND THAT'S THE JOKE! GOD!"
I frowned.
"Aren't we in a television show?"
Moonwatcher screamed, nearly tearing out her hair.
"I DON'T KNOW! NONE OF THIS MAKES ANY SENSE! WE'RE IN A BURRITO OF MEDIUMS, AND NOW BRYCE DALLAS HOWARD IS A FUCKING RODENT!"
The bat, who had been licking between her legs, looked up and glared at her.
"Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak!"
Moonwatcher blinked.
"Marsupial, then?"
"Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak."
"Fine, just . . . flying mammal. Bryce Dallas Howard is a flying mammal. Anything else?"
"Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak."
"She says, 'My butthole tastes like Skittles'. Great. Just great."
Moonwatcher ran her fingers through her hair.
"Well, I guess we'd better be going, then."
The bat flapped her wings in panic.
"Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak!"
"Relax, Stacy will never find you!"
At that very moment, a series of barks echoed through the neighborhood. We all darted behind a nearby house. I peeked around the corner to see where our attackers were lurking. Captain Stacy had brought along two Hyenadog goons to finish the job. One was a yellowish beast with thick hair. The other was a small pup, probably her daughter.
"Doggo, Booboo, flush them out! They can't hide forever!"
The hounds spread out, sniffing the ground with concentration. I backed away hastily, but bumped into Eli, whose alarm began to sound. The siren shrieked over and over again, completely out of control. We tried to shut it off, but even Eli himself didn't know where it was coming from. Finally, I poked his nose. He beeped twice, then fell silent.
"I think I know where they're hiding . . ." Stacy growled.
Eli closed his eyes. Compromising the group's safety was the final straw, and now there was nothing to do but die knowing that he had squashed any chance of an escape. He lowered his head to speak to us.
"Go back to the bat's house. I'll hold them off while you find the magic button."
"Eli, no!"
He frowned.
"Please, Claire, save yourself. It's the only way."
"I hear whispers!" Stacy cooed.
Eli snapped to attention.
"Oh, it's just me, Mr . . . Camberwell?" he said, adopting a British accent, "No bats here."
He turned back to us.
"Run! Now!"
"That accent is very unconvincing, car-boy!" Stacy laughed, "But how about this: I'll give you a thirty second head start. One . . . Two . . . Th-"
Eli, meanwhile, had taken my paw. He gave it a squeeze before zipping out to fight the horrid hounds. In the confusion that followed, I escaped with my crew, but over my shoulder, I could see Eli smashing into the dogs with a fierceness I had never seen before. The first two got knocked out pretty quickly, but Stacy was not prepared to go down easily. She noticed us leaving and made a dash for Maisie, who was lagging behind. Just as her paw was about to grab my poor daughter, Eli lunged forward and clamped his jaws around her wrist. She yowled in pain and smacked Eli aside, crumpling his hood. Steam poured out of his snout, and he fell forward, lying motionless in the middle of the road. I scooped up Maisie in my arms and ran towards the bat-woman's house, hoping that the big, red button would be our salvation. No such luck. Stacy leapt over our heads and cut us off, and when we turned, her thugs had encircled us as well. I held Maisie protectively. If they wanted her, they'd have to pry her from my cold, dead hands. I didn't doubt that they would.
"Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak."
Stacy laughed.
"You should have thought of that before they got involved. We can't trust anyone who helps a bat. They'll be the first to die, and you're going to watch. You can think about what you've done in a remote prison while we wait for you to starve. How long can you go without food? Long enough to make my years of hunting worth the wait, I'm sure . . ."
She prowled towards me.
"You first."
I snapped at her paw, but she took the opportunity to hold my jaws shut.
"Oh, I didn't mean you . . ."
As I struggled to break free, the smallest dog dove in and grabbed Maisie. I screamed and tried to thrash around, but found myself pinned down by two massive paws. I watched helplessly as Maisie was dragged towards the captain.
"MAISIE!"
"MOM!"
Right then, I realized that we were done for. I understood that I was about to watch my own daughter being torn to shreds right in front of my eyes, and that I'd go in much the same way. For once, the thought of violence wasn't appealing to my dinosaur-brain. In fact, that part of me was completely muted. All I felt was an intense wave of horror and nausea, and a bleak helplessness that shook me to the core.
I barely noticed a flicker of yellow out of the corner of my eye.
It came again, closer this time, and I realized that we were not alone.
It ignited a third time, and I caught a glimpse of what was being concealed from view. I thought I was imagining things, but-
"WREEWREEWREE!"
With a shrieking whinny, a yellow dragon appeared from out of nowhere. It clamped its beak around Stacy's arm and bit down hard. Her paw fell away neatly. Maisie took the opportunity to pry herself free from her claws, and we met in a fierce hug. I held her against my shoulder as she sobbed, barely noticing that the fight was coming to an end. The Hyenadog and her cronies yipped in fear as they scrambled away. The dragon watched them go, then turned to us.
"I think we need to have a talk, Moonwatcher."
I expected to see fear in her eyes, what with a giant monster giving her an ice-cold stare and all, but instead, she just scowled at the creature with loathing.
"This isn't all on me, you know. I presume you heard about Cecelia?"
The dragon's ears folded backwards slightly.
"Yes, I have. But there's more bad news. The world these characters left behind is falling into ruin. Whatever you've been doing to fix it, it's not working. I came back so that I could help you. I don't know how long I'll stay, but . . . I can't let your mess unfurl when it's my fault that any of this happened in the first place. I dipped my paws into someone else's story, and now I'm going to pay for it."
"I see," Moonwatcher hissed, "Well, you can try to undo this mess, but I doubt you'll have any luck. You're not exactly known for cleaning up after yourself . . ."
"I plan to remedy that."
The dragon turned to the bat, who had shrunken into a small puff of trembling fur.
"Hi. It's nice to meet you, finally. I loved you in Jurassic World, obviously, and also Pete's Dragon, Spider-Man 3- I mean, I didn't like the movie as a whole, but you were one of the best parts of it . . . also, I'm sorry for partaking in the mass slaughter of your people."
"Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak."
"I was building up to it. But I understand where you're coming from, and I'm sorry it took me this long to say it. You're one of many people I must apologize to, if I can ever bring my wretched self to confront the things I've done."
"Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak."
"Maybe. I'll try my best to be brave. I owe my subjects that much, at least. I've screwed over so many people, and the lessons I learn from these mistakes never seem to stick, but even if it's too late for me, I can still do some good, if I choose to. I promise, by the time the third Jurassic World movie is released, you won't have to worry about any of this."
"Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak," said the bat.
"Thank you. I think it's time to go home, if I can even call it that. Now that Claire's gone, it doesn't quite feel the same. In any case, if there's anything else you want to say, now's the time to do it."
The bat rubbed her chin thoughtfully.
"Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak."
The dragon's eyes went wide.
"Like Skittles? Really?"
Moonwatcher cleared her throat.
"Let's go, gang! With any luck, Elkay's methods will prove effective in restoring balance to our world, though I highly doubt-"
She yelped as the dragon brushed her aside.
"Yeah, yeah. Let's just get a move on. Where's the car?"
I realized that she meant Eli. My heart dropped through my feet, and the feeling only got worse when I turned and saw that he hadn't moved. As the dragon approached his smoking figure, however, he lifted his head slightly, and a wave of relief washed over me. The dragon hooked the triangle on her tail through his lip and towed him down the road. As he rolled past me, he gave a weak smile.
"I dun thenk muh inthuranth wiw covah dith . . ."
I smiled, and I almost pressed my snout against his neck, but I realized that Maisie was still standing next to me, and I stepped back with guilt. As Eli moved past us, she looked down at the ground and rocked back and forth on her feet.
"I guess he really has changed, if he was willing to save me like that."
I lifted my foot tenderly.
"Yeah . . ."
Maisie bit her lip.
"I still don't like him. Is that bad?"
I shook my head.
"No, Maisie, you're not wrong for disliking him. After what he did to you, I can't say that it comes as a surprise . . ."
She laced her fingers though mine and leaned against my shoulder.
"If you like him, I think that's okay, too."
I took a deep breath and started walking down the road, hoping that no one was close enough to hear us.
"I can find other friends. I don't want to make you uncomfortable."
"But you'll be unhappy without him."
"That's not true. I have you, and I have Owen and Zia and Franklin and Gunnar and Iris and-"
"But they're different. Mr. Mills understands you."
I batted my eyes.
"Oh- Well, Owen understands me, too."
She gave me a doubtful look.
". . . Okay, maybe he doesn't fully grasp the- Look, that's not the point. I'm not going to keep seeing Eli if it's putting a strain on our relationship. That's all there is to it."
"You've been happier, ever since you two started spending time together."
"So?"
She poked my upper arm.
"I like it when you're happy. It makes me happy, too."
"But-"
"Please, Claire. I don't want you to be upset. If being around Mr. Mills is good for you, I don't want to stop you from being friends with him."
Somehow, I doubted that her mind could have changed so easily. Whether I liked it or not- and I didn't- I was going to have to choose between Eli and Maisie, and I already knew who would win. If things took a turn for the worse, I'd drop Eli entirely, but if Maisie was willing to let me keep him close for now, I could manage that just fine.
"Alright, sweetie, but tell me if it gets to be too much for you."
"I will."
As we approached the house with a large bat-shaped hole at the front, Bryce Dallas Howard sighed. Her big, batty ears drooped down, and she kicked her feet with indecision.
"Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak."
"You'll probably have to tell them, but I'm sure they'll understand," the dragon said softly.
"Squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak," said Bryce Dallas Howard, gesturing to her body.
"Well, if you don't tell them now, it's only gonna get worse."
She nodded sadly. With a defeated squeak, she marched forward.
"Wait!"
Maisie ran past her, holding the magic rock in her hands. As she approached the house, it glowed white, even though she was moving away from the bat herself.
"Are you sure you're the only bat there is?"
Suddenly, her ears perked up. The dragon smiled.
"Looks like you're not the only one keeping secrets . . ."
Suddenly, Bryce Dallas Howard's bat-face was filled with a joyous grin, and she tumbled into her home like a furry acrobat. A duet of squeaks echoed off nearby houses, which glowed orange under the setting sun. The dragon turned away with a nod.
"Something tells me she's going to be just fine. Now, let's get you home."
I followed the dragon, taking note of Moonwatcher's spiteful glare as I stepped through a newly-formed portal.
***TSJWFKFEW***
Later that night, we received a package from Bryce. It contained hair and feces, but she was basically made of candy, remember, so it was an appropriate gift. I plopped myself down on the couch in the hotel lobby and groaned with exhaustion.
"What and adventure," I muttered.
"Considering we got free cotton candy from Bryce Dallas Howard's neck, I'd say this worked out in our favour," Moonwatcher said with a shrug.
She leaned forward to take a bite out of the pink candy floss, but jumped suddenly.
"WAIT. Bats . . . candy . . . people pretending to be things they're not . . . racism that's never properly addressed . . . It's Halloween, and I forgot to do a spooky short!"
I twisted my beak.
"Does that really matter right now?"
"Of course it does! We need to get you a costume . . . Wait, I know! We have a Cinderella outfit in the storage room, and we also have a prince outfit, but-"
She clicked her tongue and sucked air through her teeth.
"-it would fit Eli, not Owen. Looks like your couple's costume is going to have to be with-"
She trailed off as the dragon gave her a nasty look.
"Actually, Moonwatcher, there's a costume that would fit Owen, since he featured prominently in the Cinderella short."
"Ah. It's a good thing you remembered that."
"Indeed. We wouldn't want to force unnecessary conflict now, would we?"
"No, we would not," Moonwatcher sighed with defeat.
Already, I liked this dragon more than her not-actually-human counterpart. That being said, I trusted neither, considering the newcomer had apparently been an accessory to genocide.
"Why don't you take Maisie Two out for trick or treating?" she suggested.
"Maisie Two? . . ."
"I want to keep things clear. We can call her 'Clone Maisie', if it's easier . . ."
And . . . I totally despised this dragon. That was fast.
"Just 'Maisie' is fine," I said with a hint of venom, "And she doesn't have a costume."
"Yes, I do."
Maisie skipped around the corner wearing foam claws and cardboard horns. It took me a second to realize who she was dressed up as. I circled her, rubbing my chin pensively.
"It's a pretty good likeness, I'd say."
Owen stepped into the room.
"She's a lot cuter than you, truth be told."
Maisie smiled and hugged my chest.
"No one's cuter than my mom."
I smiled and started purring. She stroked my snout.
"Where's your costume?"
"I'm going as a dinosaur, too."
"Oh, come on! That doesn't count."
I rolled my eyes and changed my arms into wings.
"Fine. I'm a bat."
Maisie giggled.
"Do you poop Skittles like Bryce?"
"Certainly not."
"Well, I love you anyway."
I patted her head.
"Good . . . but are you still interested in getting some candy?"
"Yeah!"
"Then follow me!"
I led her to the door, passing the dragon. Before leaving, I gave her a nod.
"Hey. Thanks for saving us. I wasn't expecting a Deus Ex Machina."
"You're using that phrase wrong. It was just a plot convenience . . . Anyway, don't worry about it. It's time to finish what I started."
She pulled a shotgun from behind her back.
"Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to put down Disney. No loose ends. Only closure."
I blinked twice, then turned away. It really wasn't worth questioning.
***TSJWFKFEW***
By the time we returned to the hotel, Maisie had acquired a full bag of candy, though a great deal of it was wrappers. We had had a few treats along the way, which was fine by me, because some of the dinosaur-houses were giving away dead rats. I let Maisie have all the candy, of course. After what we had been through, it was only fair, though I did encourage her to brush her teeth thoroughly. After that, I tucked her in and kissed her forehead. As I shut the door behind me, I sighed wistfully. Was this what it felt like to be a mother? It sure seemed like it, though we certainly weren't a traditional family. Still, I had to wonder if it was possible to keep things just the way they were.
I unlocked the door to my own room and stepped inside. When I saw Owen lying on the bed, I prowled up to him and nudged his cheek. He pushed me away gently.
"Claire . . ."
I ran my paw down his shoulder.
"I missed you, today."
"Mhm."
I licked his ear.
"It's Halloween. I could use a treat . . ."
"So buy some candy. I'm tired."
Ouch.
Yeah, nevermind. Everything was still a mess.