Eli awoke in a better mood than usual- in fact, he was in the best mood he'd experienced since Jurassic World went under. Claire was still asleep, and he figured the best thing to do with his newfound cheer would be to share it with her. It would still be an hour or two before she woke up, which gave him plenty of time to make breakfast.
Claire, being an omnivore, would go for just about any kind of breakfast imaginable, with the exception of dead lizards. He put together a decently-sized fruit bowl first. Isla Nublar's tropical climate made it easy for them to grow nearly any sort of fruit, so his creation was brimming with color and variety. He wasn't sure what kind of meat would be most appropriate for the protein-heavy part of her meal. Anything made from a pig might come across as tactless, and they were out of beef. He decided on making her an omelet instead, packing it with greens and a bit of chicken (according to Moonwatcher, chickens could never be sentient because they hadn't gone extinct, which didn't make a lot of sense, but he supposed that if they weren't considered dinosaurs here, that was fine). Once he'd finished the base, he pulled out a waffle iron and the ingredients he'd need for batter, except-
Damn. He'd used the last of the eggs to make the omelet. Well, the corner store wasn't too far away. He could be there and back in minutes.
He snuck out of the hotel suite, closing the door delicately behind him.
***TSJWFKFEW***
Partway down the road, Eli bumped into Iris, who was taking a morning stroll.
"Morning, Iris! Lovely weather, isn't it?"
"It certainly is, Mr. Mills. You seem in a pleasant mood."
"That, I am, Iris. That, I am. This morning has done me well so far. You look lovely, by the way!"
"Why, thank you! And where might you be off to?"
"Just heading to the store to get some eggs."
"Well, I do hope you enjoy yourself. Good day, Mr. Mills."
"And to you as well, Iris."
He zipped into the market and made his purchase. He was just on his way out with a full carton of eggs when he overheard a familiar voice a few aisles over. It was definitely Maisie, and she was with Owen.
"So, if I'm a copy of my mother, does that mean . . . that I'm my own mum?"
"What? No, I don't think that's how it- Wait, is that how it works?" Owen wondered, "You know, I actually have no idea. I guess we'll find out, come Mother's Day."
"If I'm my mum, then I suppose I have two mums and two dads. I always thought I'd grow up without any parents at all, and now I have twice as many as other kids do!"
"Twice as . . . twice as many? Where did you get the idea that you have four parents?"
"Well, I have myself and Claire, and you and Eli."
Eli's heart fluttered until Owen ruined the moment.
"Maisie, Eli Mills isn't your dad."
"Of course he is. He's together with Claire."
Eli bit his lip as Owen sighed from the other side of the barrier.
"Look, Maisie, I know Eli and Claire are together, but that . . . that doesn't change how you're related. Him being with your mom doesn't automatically make him your dad. There's a bond, a special kind of care, that comes with being a parent. It's not just about the connections. It's a relationship."
Eli gulped. Wasn't he at least on his way to becoming a real father? Could he even see himself being a good parent, especially to Maisie? No, that was asinine. She hated him, just like everybody else. Just like Owen and Claire and- Well, not Claire, but she ought to hate him. He was a worthless piece of shit, after all. A worthless piece of shit that couldn't even be there for the person whom he'd watched grow up for however many years. It would have been so much better in the long run if he had been supportive of Maisie for the decade he'd spent by her side, but no. He fucked that up like he fucked up everything else.
Eli didn't hang around to hear the rest of the conversation. He didn't think he could bear it. If Maisie was about to disown him, he might die on the spot. She was such a sweet kid, and if she wanted to consider him a father figure, why shouldn't she be allowed to? Claire had come to love him, so why couldn't anyone else? He tried to do what was best, he tried to avoid hurting anyone, and wouldn't that be enough? What did he ever do that stopped people from trusting-
Oh, right.
As Eli rolled steadily down the road, his mind started racing. That was a dick move on Owen's part, turning Maisie against him like that. He'd tried so hard to make amends, and here was the jealous ex stepping in to unravel his efforts. And he wasn't even telling the truth. Eli would be more than happy to take care of Maisie, because he loved Claire, and Claire loved her daughter, and they'd make amazing parents together, wouldn't they? Even if Eli had wasted most of his time with Maisie, he still knew a great deal about her, and if he was just given a chance- just one more chance- he could be the best father she ever had . . . not that there was much competition on that front. Still, he could just imagine himself sitting with Claire and Maisie, the three of them being a family, all happy and stuff. He could drive Maisie to soccer games- he was part minivan, after all- and play dinosaurs with her- he was part dinosaur, after all- and do all the things that human parents were supposed to do, because, well, he was part human, too. Being a hybrid meant that he was ten times the father he otherwise would have been, which gave him an edge. And to be honest, as shitty of a person as he used to be, he was miles better than Owen, as of this moment. There wasn't much room for Owen's continued presence in this scenario, actually, since he didn't have much of a connection to Maisie, having known her for a year, at most. If he had been one half of a divorced couple, it'd be different, but Claire and Eli had a perfect setup, and he was at risk of being shoved out of the picture entirely. It was just as well. He seemed like he'd be a possessive father, which wouldn't be good for Maisie. She wasn't a commodity. She was a person, and a very special person, at that, who deserved more than what she was getting right now. Eli swore to himself that he'd try his hardest to be there for her, to put all of his doubt and self-loathing aside while she was in his care. She needed a role model, and- HE WAS ABOUT TO SQUISH HER FLAT!
He swerved just in time, dropping his eggs as he took a light tumble. Maisie, whose face was red from crying, whimpered feebly. Eli rolled into a standing position and shook his head.
"I'm sorry, Maisie. I wasn't looking where I was going. Why aren't you back at the grocery store with Owen?"
She coughed, fighting tears, and wiped her eyes with her sleeve.
"He- he said-"
Eli patted her back gently as she ran forward and hugged his wheel.
"It's okay, Maisie. Let it out."
She sobbed.
"We were talking about you, and he said that- that you were probably going to leave my- my mom for some man."
Eli frowned.
"Maisie, I'd never do that. I love your mother very much, and I'm not looking for anyone else."
"That's what I said, but he called you selfish, and said that people like you can't be in a relationship, and- and-"
She wailed.
"I TOLD HIM! I TOLD HIM ABOUT THE WAY I AM, AND HE'S GOING TO TELL MOM, AND SHE WON'T LOVE ME ANYMORE!"
Eli shook his head.
"Maisie, she won't stop loving you just because-"
"WE HAVE TO FIND HER! WE HAVE TO STOP OWEN!"
Eli hummed uncertainly, but nodded when she looked up at him with pleading eyes.
"Hop on. I'm going back to the hotel, anyway."
Maisie scrambled up his shoulder, weeping furiously. He leaned forward and motored towards the hotel. She clung to his scales, tears pouring down her cheeks.
"I'm sorry about your eggs . . ."
"That's okay, Maisie. Family comes first."
She sniffled.
"Does this mean you're my new father?"
"Only if you want me to be, I guess . . ."
She nodded, pressing her cheek against his scales. He smiled.
"Okay. Don't worry, Maisie. We're gonna find your mother before Owen. I promise."
***TSJWFKFEW***
Claire yawned and stretched out like a cat as she stepped into fresh air. Eli was nowhere to be found, which probably meant that he was off grocery shopping. She had been waiting for his return so they could eat together, but he was taking longer than usual, and she was starting to worry about him. Her concern turned to panic when she saw Eli speeding towards her with Maisie on his back, both of them shouting at the top of their lungs. She backed away as they screeched to a halt in front of her. Maisie dropped onto her back and hugged her in a frenzy.
"MummyI'mbisexualpleasedon'thateme!"
She batted her eyes.
"What?"
Maisie sobbed.
"I'm sorry, Mummy! I was going to tell you sooner, but I was so afraid, and if you want to get rid of me, I understand, but-"
Claire waved her paws.
"Maisie, Maisie, Maisie! Hold up, there! I'm not getting rid of you!"
"But you're disappointed in me? . . ."
"No! Never!"
"Are you mad at me? . . ."
Claire laughed.
"Of course not! Maisie, I love you, and nothing is gonna stop me from loving you! But don't scare me like that, okay? I thought something was wrong."
Maisie buried her face in Claire's scales, crying with relief. She patted her uncertainly, turning to Eli for an explanation. He shrugged.
"She got a little spooked, and I figured- Oh."
He noticed Owen running towards them, out of breath. He skidded to a stop, leaning on his knees for support.
"Maisie . . . I didn't mean to . . . say those things . . . I was talking about . . . Eli . . . not you," he panted.
Maisie stared at him, uncertain of how to respond. Slowly, she slipped down from Claire's back and waddled into the hotel. Owen frowned with worry.
"Maisie . . ."
Claire scowled at him.
"What did you do?"
He shook his head.
"It was an accident! I didn't mean to upset her! Please, Claire, tell her I'm sorry."
She sighed.
"Okay, Owen. I'll go find her."
She lumbered away, leaving Owen and Eli alone.
"I'll bet you're loving this."
"Actually, I'm not," Eli replied coldly, "And I'm kind of furious with you, to be honest."
"You have no right to be. Maisie's not your kid."
"I don't care whose kid she is! That was inexcusable! If you want to dunk on me, fine, but don't hurt Maisie!"
"Manipulative bastard. You're trying to take her away from me, just like you took Claire."
Eli growled.
"I didn't 'take' Claire. She decided to leave you, and now she's with me, which was also her decision. We shouldn't even be talking about this. They'll be back soon, and I don't want to start another fight."
"So suddenly, you're the mature one?"
Eli gnashed his teeth.
"Look, I know we have a history, and most of it was my fault, but right now, we need to focus on Maisie."
"Convenient."
"Owen! We're supposed to be adults, here! And I don't care how fake it is, because we both know that we hate each other, and I'm sure we'd like nothing more than to punch each other's lights out, but right now, there's a little girl who needs us to be better than that, so kindly shut the fuck up and swallow your pride for once, okay?"
They fell silent as Maisie reappeared, hiding behind Claire. She peeked through her plates to look at Owen. He waved, and her eyes snapped away.
"Mum says you didn't mean to say the things you said."
"Maisie, I-"
"It's okay, Owen. I feel better now. But I'd like to spend the rest of the day with Mom and D-"
She caught herself.
"With Mom and Eli. Is that okay?"
After a pause, Owen nodded.
"Yeah, that's okay. I'll see you tomorrow, sweetheart."
She didn't reply. Following Claire into the hotel, she held her paw, looking over her shoulder and extending her other hand for Eli's. He looked down at Owen with pity before accepting it, then joined them in the elevator.
Owen watched them go, then turned away in silence.
***TSJWFKFEW***
After the awkwardness that transpired that morning, I wasn't expecting a good day, but as soon as we got going, we forgot all about what had happened with Owen. We decided to take the train to the water park, and it was a pretty decent attraction, I must admit. Eli couldn't go any deeper than the shallow end of the pool, being too heavy for water, but Maisie played with him there, suggesting that they get him floating tires so they could swim together someday. He smiled as she splashed him, failing to splash her back with his clumsy arms. I caught them both by surprise when I sent a small wave their way. Maisie chased me across the pool, catching me in the lazy river. I paddled back to Eli with her perched on my chest, and we went for ice cream, though Eli couldn't have any for himself.
That night, when Maisie was asleep in her room, I sat beside Eli in front of the hotel fireplace, down in the lobby. It wasn't a real fire, but the glowing screen provided a nice atmosphere. After sitting together in silence for a few minutes, Eli shifted a little.
"Claire?"
"Yes?"
"I was just wondering . . ."
"Yes? . . ."
He shook his head.
"It's nothing. Or maybe it's something. I don't know."
"Tell me."
He took a deep breath and looked up at the stars that shone through the glass ceiling.
"I was just wondering if you were maybe not comfortable with . . . with the way that I am . . . you know . . . sexually."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
He gulped.
"Uh, well, you know . . . the thing Moonwatcher told you about me being . . . being attracted to men and women. The same thing Maisie is."
"Bisexual?"
"Yeah, that," he choked, "I know you wouldn't say anything around Maisie, but I don't want you to be uncomfortable."
Gosh, I didn't realize he was so worried about what I'd think. But I was ready to prove that I was no bigot.
"No, I'm not worried about that," I replied breezily, "I know the difference between a bisexual and a cheater."
Yikes, that sounded more know-it-all than I intended it to. I didn't get a chance to dig that hole deeper, thank god, because he started to fidget uncomfortably, and he soon let out a pained laugh.
"Yeah, that's . . . a relief. But I was worried that you might . . . I don't know . . ."
I quirked a brow.
"Look, Eli, your dick is a long hunk of metal, so if I've stuck with you through that, I don't think bisexuality is going to be that big of a deal . . ."
He laughed awkwardly.
"No . . . No, I guess not."
There was a long silence. Eventually, he took a deep breath, letting it out slowly in a pale, nearly transparent cloud of exhaust.
"It's funny . . . As much as I don't . . . fit in, with all of these changes . . . it's . . . Well, I'm equally worried about everything, let's just put it that way."
"Really?"
He shrugged.
"Yeah, well . . . I thought it'd be easier coming to terms with my sexuality, now that I'm a prehistoric cyborg, but I don't feel like any less of a freak, would you believe it . . ."
I placed my paw on his wheel.
"You're not a freak."
"Arguably false, but in any case, I feel that way. Always have, always will.""
"I'm sorry."
He shook his head quickly.
"Don't be, don't be . . . It's not your problem."
I leaned against his side, churring gently.
"If you wanna talk about it, I'm here to listen."
He turned away. I gulped, letting my hand slide down his hubcap.
"But if it's too painful-"
"No, it's not that," he said quietly, "I'm just afraid of losing you."
I reached up and took his paw in mine.
"Hey, you know me better than that. I don't want you to feel like you have to hide anything from me. I love you."
That was the first time I said it on my own, without any restraint whatsoever, and I regretted it immediately. It was more than an offhand remark now. It actually meant something, and my entire future hinged on those words. This wasn't just puppy love, it was LOVE, and maybe he couldn't detect it in my voice, but it was the most serious love I'd felt in a long time, the kind of love that forever is built on. And now he knew that I wanted something more than just a quick fling, more than a trial run, and he could break my heart if he wanted to. Oh, god, why did I put myself on the line like that? We were doing just fine, but now we had to worry about the future, instead of living in the moment. I thought I might have a heart attack right then and there, but surprised as he was by my confession, he wasn't put off by it.
"I . . . Thank you, Claire. I love you, too."
"So, do you wanna talk about your thing, or? . . ."
He nodded slowly.
"I guess so. I just . . . I worry a lot. It's the hiding that really gets to me. I feel like I'm living a lie, only it's a lie by omission. It's like . . . no matter how normal I appear on the surface, there's always going to be this feeling that I'm getting away with something, or- or more like I'm dying to tell someone that the 'me' they see isn't the whole truth, only I know what will happen if I do."
I cocked my head.
"I'm sure you'll meet people who are accepting of-"
"But the people I already know might NOT be. That's the problem. I've been closeted for so long that I've grown attached to people who don't know my secret, and I'm not sure how many of them would stand by me if I told them the truth."
"Your friends love you."
He laughed bitterly.
"That's what I thought too, but reality isn't so kind. When my mother found out-"
He choked. I squeezed his paw.
"Eli . . ."
He sighed.
"No, it's no big deal. It's not what you think it is. She . . . Well, she wasn't . . . Back in college, I had this friend, Adam. We were very close, and sometimes I wondered if . . . Well, there would be these flickers of what I thought might be something more than friendship, but I told myself that I was just misinterpreting his actions because I was afraid he might be hitting on me, and I didn't want to be friends with a . . ."
He winced.
"I was pretty deep in the closet. Anyway, I had thought about men before, but I never let my mind wander too far. I told myself that I was worried about being gay, which is why I dwelled on those thoughts so much . . . I know it doesn't make sense, but at the time, it was easy to believe that my mind went to those places out of panic, not . . . actual attraction. I had to remind myself that I was attracted to girls, so I couldn't be gay, I reasoned. I knew that I was attracted to women for sure, so anything else was just a stray data point, I convinced myself. I don't think it even occurred to me that I might be bisexual. I just . . . didn't think of it as an option. But I must have realized at some point, because I started thinking about it more and more, and when I was with Adam . . ."
He cleared his throat.
"We were studying in his dorm one night. Every so often, there would be these glimmers of . . . Well, in retrospect, it was flirting, but I wrote it off as friendly jokes. But there came a point when the jokes turned serious, and I realized that we were sitting very close to each other, and that my heart was racing, and- I just sort of went for it. Or maybe he did. I don't really remember. But I think we both leaned in, and . . . That was the first time I kissed a man. I remember when we pulled apart, I thought to myself, 'Why are you not afraid? You should be afraid right now.' But I wasn't. And neither was he. We looked into each other's eyes, and for a moment, the world stood still. And then we kissed again. It was still gentle, but not as timid. I remember holding his face, and feeling his hands around my waist . . ."
His eyes were distant.
"And then my mother found out. Actually, I told her. Me and Adam, we'd been together for a while . . . not officially or anything . . . I mean, we were sleeping together, but we hadn't told anyone . . . I was in the kitchen with my mom. We were getting the turkey ready for Thanksgiving. I kept dropping hints about my . . . sexual preference . . . getting bolder and bolder until she realized what I was getting at. I don't even remember what I said. At the time, I wasn't even sure that she had caught on. But over the next few weeks, she kept telling me that I wasn't gay, because she would have known, and I tried to explain to her that I was attracted to men AND women, but she just . . . didn't believe it. It was like I'd told her that I was a wizard or something. She just didn't think it was possible. But I suppose she must have believed me to some extent, because she told me I was being selfish, as if being attracted to men and women meant I couldn't choose . . . and then she started telling me that I was just confused. I guess she was right, in a way. I don't know whether it's harder to be gay or bisexual- maybe it's about the same, but in different ways. At least if I had been gay, I wouldn't have felt like there was an easy way to stay closeted . . . Well, not easy. In theory, I could have married the woman of my dreams and had two point five kids, and no one would be the wiser. But that wouldn't change who I was inside, even if there was no reason for me to tell anyone. It wasn't that I HAD to be with men, obviously, but it felt so wrong to pretend that I was something I'm not. I told myself that I could pass as straight, and maybe that was true, but it just didn't feel honest or affirming. But that was how my mother chose to see it. For years, she quietly neglected to bring up my confession, even when I reminded her of it. There were times when she was passive-aggressive about the whole thing, like when I remarked on how attractive the men and women in movies were, and she'd focus on the main actress, just as though I hadn't mentioned the guys at all . . . But for the most part, it was something she didn't shut down explicitly. Instead, she pretended that it never happened, like it didn't matter that I had come out to her. But it mattered to me. She didn't see the difference, but I . . ."
He swallowed the lump in his throat.
"She remained supportive, just as she had before. It was like nothing had changed, and that was what bothered me. She treated the whole ordeal like a "that didn't happen" moment, but I couldn't forget that it DID happen, because it was still a part of me. My mother loved me, but there was one part of me she didn't love, and from that moment on, her support felt like a sham. I'm still grateful for everything she did for me. It's just that I felt like it was an obligation or a lie, because I wasn't the person she thought I was. I was a disappointment to her, but if I kept up the charade, that one minor glitch wouldn't be a problem for either of us. Only . . . it was."
His throat wobbled.
"It's not easy to hide. Especially when you feel like you shouldn't have to."
I rested my head on his chest.
"I'm sorry."
He stroked my frill.
"Don't be. It's not your fault."
"You shouldn't have to hide who you are."
"Maybe not, but that's life. If I had accepted that sooner, I could have saved myself a great deal of trouble. Adam was the one who gave me . . ."
He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply.
"I'm not saying I regret it, and I'm not blaming him. He didn't know."
"Are you sure?"
That was the wrong thing to say. I wanted to slap myself. I had no reason to compete with some ex-lover, least of all with petty slander.
"I'm sure," Eli whispered, "When he found out, he-"
I waited. He let his arm slip from my head.
"He killed himself. I saw his picture in the newspaper, and . . . My heart stopped. I attended his funeral. I sat in the back, afraid that someone would chase me away, but nobody knew who I was. I overheard two of his relatives gossiping after the service. They said it was a hanging."
I didn't know what to say.
"Eli . . ."
"It's all for the best, I suppose," he finished brusquely, "I'm not sure he'd be happy with how much I've fucked my life over."
"Don't say that . . ." I pleaded.
He frowned bitterly.
"Claire, if things had taken their natural course, I'd be inside the stomachs of two dinosaurs right now. That would have been the end of me."
"But it wasn't."
He curled his tail in front of his legs.
"No, it wasn't. But it could have been, and that's what scares me. I wasted my life. I did it all wrong. But I got a second chance, even though I didn't deserve it. I almost fucked that up, too. More than anything, I want a clean slate, but life just doesn't work that way. Your mistakes follow you wherever you go, and you can't erase the wounds they leave behind."
I stroked his arm.
"But you can try to heal them . . ."
He swallowed.
"I hope so. I just worry that it might be too little, too late . . ."
I shook my head.
"What matters is that you do the best you can. Maybe it's too late for some people, but you still have your friends. You still have me."
"Claire . . ."
He bit his lip and gave me a hug. I squeezed him back. He started shaking, and I felt something wet land on my back. He pulled away, blue streaks cutting down his cheeks.
"Careful, it might be corrosive . . ." he choked.
His eyebrows flipped over, wiping away the fluid with quiet squeaks. He laughed through his tears.
"I'm sorry. This isn't the most dignified way to cry."
I shrugged.
"I think it's cute."
"Well . . . at least it's not oil again."
Although I was gagging on the chemical's scent, I joined him in laughing.
"Eli, you have a beautiful soul."
"So do you, Claire."
"Thank you. And you know I trust you, right?"
"Of course. But I'm worried about Maisie. It took me so long to come to terms with the way I am, and I don't want to pass on that self-loathing to her. I know how it feels to be alone, and-"
I placed my paw on his shoulder.
"And she won't be, because she has you. I know it was hard for you, Eli, but you're not a worse person for it. There's a reason she came to you first. Lord knows, I try my best to be a good mother, but there are some things I can't teach her intuitively. I know we didn't start off as a real family, but right now, I think we're good for each other. We still have to work through our flaws, but that's something we can do together."
He nodded.
"I hope so . . . Claire, I love you."
"I love you, too."
"Like, a lot."
"I know, Eli."
". . . Claire? . . ."
I leaned closer.
"Yes, Eli?"
"Will you- Actually, will you give me a minute? I need to think through how to do this properly."
I kissed his cheek.
"Sure thing. But I think we should be getting to bed soon. I have to visit the lab tomorrow, to help with Gulper."
"Who?"
"Perry's Sister's boyfriend."
"Oh, I see. Do you need me to come, too?"
"Only if you want to. I know you two have a history."
He waved his paw.
"Aw, so does everybody else on this island. I'm good to go."
I grinned.
"Thank you. I appreciate you being there for me."
"No problem. I hate to see you stuck in that place alone. I'm glad we were able to nix your curfew."
"Well, we have Gulper to thank for that. If he hadn't confessed, I'd still be locked up every day. He's a nice guy, even if he did eat a person."
Eli laughed awkwardly.
"Yeah . . . It's great of you to stand by him, in all seriousness. I think you have a chance of reforming him, to be quite honest."
"We'll see."
Eli smiled.
"I'll bet that by the end of the year, you'll even have Henry walking free."
"That, I don't believe," I replied, "But he seems to be a little softer, anyway. I expect him to be the last dinosaur out of there."
"Not the quiet one?"
"I was hoping to get Mr. Jellybean to help me communicate with him tomorrow."
"Clever. Any way I can help?"
I licked his cheek.
"You can help just by being there. I feel better when you're close."
He smiled.
"Me too, Claire. Me too."
***TSJWFKFEW***
Integrating the new dinosaurs into society wasn't exactly easy, and Claire was starting to find that there were far more quirks than she had initially projected. It was increasingly difficult to tell which dinosaurs had started out as humans and which dinosaurs had always been non-human, for one thing. Their looks and their culture were slowly blending into others as they adopted certain mannerisms and ways of speaking by observing the world around them. At first, many of the new dinosaurs had started practicing "Moonwatcherism," but it was growing in popularity among former humans, too. Claire wasn't sure if the reverse- human belief systems gaining traction among dinosaurs- was as common, since dinosaurs wouldn't have had thousands of years of context to understand why the world was organized the way it was, but there were some notable exceptions. Here and there, she saw it happen, like with one of the new brachiosaurs, who was wearing a burqa when they first met.
"Oh, you must be one of the new arrivals," Claire said. "I don't think I've seen you before."
"We got here a few days ago," the brachiosaur replied, "My sister and I-"
She gestured to a much smaller sauropod, who Claire hadn't noticed at first.
"-ended up stepping through a portal by accident, and next thing you know, we have a fundamental understanding of human psychology, just like that."
Claire scanned the smaller dinosaur.
"You two are . . . sisters? . . ."
"Well . . . yes. That doesn't usually change when you gain sentience."
"Oh. I thought you were a brachiosaurus. You must be a . . . I'm sorry, what species are you?"
The sister, while small by sauropod standards, was still taller than Claire. Even so, her proportions didn't match those of her sister, which made it hard to identify what species they belonged to.
"I'm also a brachiosaurus."
"Oh. Are you sure?"
"Yes!"
"But you're positive you didn't become separate species when you changed?"
"We're dinosaur-born dinosaurs."
"Ah. But are you maybe adopted, or-"
The shorter brachio rolled her eyes.
"We aren't metaphorical sisters, or 'linked by a special sister-like bond,' or whatever you're assuming. We're literal siblings who share the same two parents."
"Then why-"
"My sister is a dwarf. Moonwatcher said that she could qualify as a different species if she chooses to call herself that, but we don't exactly subscribe to Moonwatcherism."
". . . Oh."
(Fucking brilliant, Claire. Why don't I ever mind my own business? . . .)
"I didn't mean any offense, it's just-"
"Yeah, yeah. 'Aren't brachiosaurus supposed to be tall?' Heard that one before. Real original."
"I-I'm sorry," I stammered, "I just thought you might be a different-"
"You shouldn't judge people based on their looks. For instance, you don't look like an asshole, but here we are."
"I-"
"Listen, lady, we know how it is with you humans. Whenever you see someone who's a little different, you start thinking of them as a separate species. You force them to breed with similar creatures until you make fancy pets with white fur or funky patterns or curly hair, but you never stop to ask if it's your place to do that. If you wanna play God with animals, fine, but don't treat dinosaurs like some exotic specimens that exist only for your amusement. We're people, not livestock, and we don't need you to categorize us by size or bone structure or skull shape. You humans disgust me! You're so busy trying to diagnose us that you don't listen to our actual experiences. I suppose fossils don't call out your bullshit as much, do they?"
Claire gulped.
"Um, well, what you lack in size, you make up for in spirit? . . ."
The brachio slapped her forehead.
"Great. Now she's being condescending. Listen, lady, I don't 'lack' anything, okay? I'm complete, and I'm more well-rounded than your ignorant ass, so you can piss right off, okay?"
The two sisters turned to leave, affronted.
"This is why you can't trust human-borns. They still treat us like animals."
"Lateral specism is the worst."
Claire sighed. She was still phenomenally prone to saying the wrong thing. These dinosaurs had every right to be angry, she supposed, since she had basically kept their peers in a zoo setting for most of their lives. It would be best to take this as a learning experience and try to do better next time. Hopefully, the next dinosaur integration-slash-interaction wouldn't be as awkward.
Or the next human interaction, for that matter.
Claire winced as Owen came strolling down the road.
"Morning."
"Morning. I'm looking for Mr. Jellybean. Have you seen him?"
"I actually saw him the other day. Quirky dino. He says he's something called 'trains mask'. I don't understand it."
"I need him to communicate with the purple guy."
"Barney?"
"Very funny."
"Naw, I know who you mean. Jelly can handle it. He bashed his head so many times that he got super smart. I'm sure he'll be able to figure this out."
"Um, he's a Stiggy. The hybrid is part Stiggy. That's the main thing."
Owen crossed his arms.
"I think it's kind of racist to assume that all Stiggies speak the same language."
A passing Galli flipped him off.
"It's specist to treat specism like racism, asshole!"
Owen's lips tightened. Claire smirked.
"Sorry, Owen. Looks like you're not qualified to talk about dinosaur issues."
The look on his face was priceless.
Claire: 1
Owen: 0
"Lady, you're not qualified, either!" shouted a distant brachiosaurus.
Okay, maybe it was time to shut up.
***TSJWFKFEW***
"I'm sorry, Claire, but I just can't get him to talk," Mr. Jellybean sighed, "He's making expressive sounds, but that's not quite the same thing as fully-formed saurian words."
I let out a long breath.
"That's okay, Mr. Jellybean. I know you tried."
Eli lowered his head to stare at the caged dinosaur.
"He looks sad. Does he understand us?"
"He always looks sad," I muttered, "But maybe it's just because I keep failing him."
Eli patted my back.
"Don't be so hard on yourself, Claire. Helping dinosaurs is a tall order."
"Yeah, and I'm pretty sure I'm the worst person to be filling it."
Mr. Jellybean's face softened.
"I heard about this morning. Don't let it dishearten you, Claire. We all make mistakes, but as long as you learn from them, you don't have to feel badly for too long."
"I just don't understand why some dinosaurs want ME to help them."
After a pause, he shrugged.
"Well, you're one of the only human-borns we have on our side. We figured you could get the humans to listen, just like you did back home."
"I didn't do a great job of that, either."
"It's not as bad as you think. You personally came back to save us, and even if it didn't work out the way you wanted it to, it's still more than most people would do. You're a powerful ally, and even if you stumble every once in a while, we're glad to have you on our side."
"I feel like a bad person . . ."
"Well, you were raised to be a human, so that's normal. But you can learn to be good, if you learn to be a dinosaur like us."
Eli nodded.
"People can change, Claire. I mean, we're not the same people we used to be, right? . . ."
We all shrieked as Moonwatcher stepped out from behind Eli's wheel.
"Right! And I can prove it! Follow me to my office!"
***TSJWFKFEW***
"The reason we don't notice change is because it happens gradually," Moonwatcher asserted, "Ergo, we can only observe the shift by making a jump in time, or a jump in awareness, to be more precise."
"Huh?"
She tapped her fingers on her desk.
"I know a way to bring your consciousness back to an earlier stage so that you can see the difference for yourself. Elkay did the same thing to the last Claire, and- Well, okay, it ended badly, but on the bright side, you won't be disgusted by your own child! . . . probably."
I blinked.
"Moonwatcher, I don't know what your plan is, but I don't like where this is going. I don't want to mess with my brain chemistry, even if it ends up teaching me a lesson."
"It's perfectly safe! Here, let me practice on Eli."
I raised my paws.
"No, no, n-"
Eli dropped like a rag doll. I gasped and knelt by his side, cradling his head.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck! . . . What did you DO?!"
Before Moonwatcher could answer, Eli groaned. His eyes fluttered open softly. When he saw me, he screamed. I scampered backwards, and Eli tried to do the same, but rolled onto his tail instead. He yowled and looked at his rear, eyes widening, then stumbled into the corner of the room.
"What the hell, what the hell, what the hell . . ."
I raised my paws.
"Eli, calm down. It's okay."
His jaw dropped.
"You can t- Wait a minute. Are you Claire?"
"Yes, Eli. It's me."
His throat wobbled as he let out a confused gurgle.
"Why are we dinosaurs? . . . Why do I have wheels? . . ."
I touched his chest.
"Eli, what's the last thing you remember?"
"What?"
"Before waking up, what were you doing?"
He batted his eyes.
"I was about to meet you at the estate and explain our dinosaur extraction plan."
Ouch. That brought back painful memories.
"'Extraction', huh?" I echoed.
I couldn't help myself.
"Yes. We have a piece of land-"
My quills bristled involuntarily.
"Eli, I know about the auction."
He looked terrified. His nostrils flared with each breath, and his pupils shrunk to pinpoints.
"Don't tell Ben."
I took a deep breath.
"Um, Eli . . . Benjamin Lockwood is dead."
Eli bit his lip.
"Oh, no . . . When? How?"
"Since June of last year."
I made a point of not answering the second question. Eli's forehead bunched up as he processed this information.
"Does this mean I have amnesia? . . ."
Moonwatcher nodded.
"Yup, but it's only temporary."
Eli jumped, noticing her presence for the first time.
"Who's she?"
I shrugged.
"Long story."
Eli caught his breath, but suddenly looked concerned.
"Wait, what happened to Maisie? Do I have to take care of her now?"
"I adopted her. She's with Owen right now."
He hummed.
"So you two got back together, I presume?"
I rubbed my arm.
"Yes . . . For a while. But now we're dating."
Eli blinked.
"We? As in . . . you and me? . . ."
"Yes."
He smiled.
"That's . . . pretty cool! Do we take care of Maisie together? Am I a good dad? Also, why are we dinosaurs? You never answered me, and I feel like that's important . . ."
"It'd take a while to explain."
He chuckled.
"I have time. I mean, if this amnesia thing is only temporary, it might not be worth it, depending on how long it takes me to get back to normal."
Moonwatcher snapped her fingers.
"Less than a day, for sure. You'll get your memories back in chronological order."
Eli nodded.
"Okay, so I'll probably be fine, then. Well . . . mostly. Not gonna lie, I'm kind of freaked out. But it sounds like I'm doing okay. Am I okay? I'm a dinosaur-car . . ."
I stroked his snout.
"Don't get too excited, Eli. I promise, it's not as scary as it sounds. You've just been thrown into this cold turkey, that's all. But I swear, it makes sense, and yes, you're doing okay."
He nodded slowly.
"Yeah, it seems like I have a pretty good life. I mean, we've obviously moved to some tropical island, and we seem to be happy together- Wait, are we happy together?"
"Very."
He breathed a sigh of relief.
"Oh, good. I was afraid that I'd been disappointing you this whole time. Speaking of which, I'm sorry for lying about the dinosaurs. I've probably apologized already, but I don't remember doing it, and it deserves a second apology anyway. I guess if I told you about it, we're all good, right? It's been a few months, at least, and seeing how we're . . . you know . . . um . . . What I'm asking is if we've sorted it out."
"Yes, we have."
He laughed awkwardly.
"Great. I wouldn't want something like that hanging over our heads. Honestly, I'm surprised you wanted to date me, after that. It's the shittiest thing I've ever done."
Moonwatcher pursed her lips.
"Oh, boy. We're in for a ride."
***TSJWFKFEW***
After giving Moonwatcher a stern talking-to, I brought Eli back to our hotel room. He was dazzled by the island. It was kind of charming, watching him gawk at all the strange sights that Isla Nublar had to offer, but I was still upset that Moonwatcher had done this to him. Once his memory came back, I intended to put an end to her nonsense, once and for all. For now, though, I was busy with my poor, naïve boyfriend, who was barely scratching the surface of our troubled past.
I realized that Eli was in a bad way when I turned around and saw him shaking on the couch. He had been quiet for a few minutes, but I didn't think much of it until that moment. He noticed me staring at him, and quickly looked away.
"Eli? . . ." I ventured.
"Y-yes?"
"Are you okay?" I prompted.
He took a deep, but shaky, breath.
"Claire, we seem to have a happy life together."
"We do."
"I know, and I don't want to ruin it, especially if the non-amnesia me had a reason to keep things from you."
"Eli, have you been lying about something?"
He bit his lip and nodded slowly, blue tears piling up at the corners of his eyes.
"Even if I regret telling you later, you deserve to know. I don't think I could live with myself if I continued to lie about it, but . . . Oh, god. I'm going to miss this, even if I have no idea how I got here."
I swallowed.
"Is it really bad enough to tear us apart?"
He nodded.
"I know you love me, but it's . . . Oh, god, it's worse than you can imagine. I'm sorry I kept it a secret for so long. You deserve better."
I rested my paw on his knee.
"Eli, you can tell me anything. We love each other."
He shook his head.
"You won't love me after this . . ."
"Try me."
Tears slipped from his eyes as he took an unsteady breath.
"Claire, Benjamin Lockwood didn't die a natural death . . ."
I blinked.
"Eli."
"Let me finish. The thing is, I kind of-"
I put my finger over his lips.
"Eli. I know about that."
He gulped.
"You do?"
"Yes. And we got through it."
". . . Really?"
"Yes."
He groaned and pulled his knees against his chest.
"Claire, is there anything else I did that . . . I mean . . . Does it get worse?"
I shrugged helplessly.
"Well, there's definitely a lot that happened between us before it got better, but it's all in the past now. I think Moonwatcher wrote some of it down, so if it's easier to read-"
"I don't think anything can make this easier," he whispered.
I licked his cheek.
"I know it's hard, but I promise, nothing that happened between us was enough to keep us apart. Just focus on what's happening right now. We're together, we love each other, and we-"
"Oh my god, I just remembered when you got caught sneaking into the estate! Did I try to . . . Did I try to hurt you after that?"
"Um . . . Not immediately after."
He winced.
"I think I deserved that."
"What?"
"When you broke my glasses."
"Ah. Yeah, you kind of did, at the time, but I wouldn't do it now."
"Oh, good. Because I'm a little angry about it."
He noticed my expression and coughed awkwardly.
"I'm sorry. This stuff is still fresh in my mind, and I can't remember the good parts yet, so it's . . . confusing."
I kissed him gently.
"You were a different person back then. Just wait until your memory's back before judging me, okay?"
He nuzzled my snout.
"Okay. I trust you. This feels right to me."
I smiled, pressing my forehead against his chest.
"Me too."
***TSJWFKFEW***
A half-hour later, Eli spoke again.
"Claire, am I in hell?"
I did a double-take, turning away from a pot of boiling soup.
"I'm sorry. What?"
"I remember dying, and now I have horns. This place is pretty hot. Is this hell?"
"It's Central America . . ."
He hummed.
"I'm not so sure."
I cocked my head.
"Is dating me akin to torture?"
He shook his head.
"No, not at all. Quite the opposite. I have a feeling that this is going to be taken away from me as punishment."
I kissed him on the cheek.
"It's not. This is real. I promise."
He sighed.
"I don't deserve this . . ."
"You're not as bad of a man as you think you are."
"Really?"
"Mhm. We've had a lot of good times. Our whole relationship has been amazing."
He smiled.
"Well, I may not remember it, but I sure do like the idea."
I licked his face. He laughed, then put his arms around me. After a pause, he cocked his head.
"Claire, have we- Um, I mean . . . How far have we gone, with this relationship?"
"Are you asking if we've had sex?"
". . . Yeah."
I giggled.
"We have. Many times. But we have to do it a certain way, or it ends badly."
He raised his eyebrows.
"Oh."
"But it's really great."
He churred happily. I slithered under his chin.
"Do you want me to show you?"
"Aw, man. I'd love to, but is it weird? . . ."
"What's your most recent memory?"
"Being wheeled into the lab . . . Seeing them put a collar on you . . . That whole mess with the gun . . . Calling you a cunt . . ."
"Okay, so maybe don't think about that."
"Sounds good."
I pressed my beak against his lips. He leaned backwards against the couch, moaning softly. I dragged my tongue across his face, and-
"What the fuck?"
I opened my eyes. He was staring at his crotch. I shrugged sheepishly.
"I mean, it works just fine . . ."
He frowned.
"That's so fucking weird."
I grinned.
"Well, on this island, that's the least of your worries."
He chuckled, but suddenly, his face fell.
"Um, Claire. Before we start, I was wondering if you had fully recovered from . . . I mean . . . You know how you have that dinosaur thing? . . ."
"I learned to overcome it. I don't even react to the gun anymore. I've taken control of my impulses, fully."
"How did you do that?"
I ran my paw over his head.
"I think you're gonna like the answer, once you remember it."
"Can't you tell me now?"
I snickered.
"No spoilers."
***TSJWFKFEW***
We didn't really make it through the intercourse. Eli was remembering some of our arguments in the lab, between long stretches of boring nothingness, and neither really helped the mood. Despite this, Eli was very impressed with my performance.
"Holy shit, you know exactly what I like!"
"Yeah, we've been doing this for quite some time now . . ."
He fell backwards onto the bed with wonderment.
"Aw, man, if this is what my life is like, all is forgiven!"
I frowned with displeasure. He gulped.
"No, you're totally right. I was in the wrong, not you. I'm sure it'll be easier to accept that, once I remember how we resolved things . . . though to be honest, I'm kind of falling in love with you right now."
I smiled and rubbed my nose against his.
"Glad to hear it."
He beamed and held me against his chest, sighing with relief.
"Everything is so perfect . . . How did I get this lucky?"
I poked his snout.
"By being good. By improving."
He laughed.
"I didn't know I had it in me. I'm guessing you helped me along, right?"
"I tried, at least."
He licked my cheek excitedly.
"Thank you. I know I didn't deserve another chance, after what happened, but . . . Aw, man. I'm glad I got one. I'd die a million times over, if it meant I'd get to sit here with you, right now."
God, I love Eli.
I chuckled and leaned into his chest.
"You're so sweet . . ."
"I'm glad, because I wasn't very sweet when we first met."
"Well . . ."
"I'll try to make up for it, though. I think the memories are coming back faster, now."
"Good."
After a pause, he bit his lip.
"Oh . . . How many people know I have AIDS?"
"You don't anymore. A bat sneezed on you. You'll see."
"Ah."
For the next hour or so, Eli described his memories, and it was like reliving the past year all over again. It wasn't all bad, but a lot of the early stuff, I'd like to forget.
Eventually, Eli started remembering our relationship, and we finally had something to talk about. He reminded me of moments I had nearly forgotten, and his stories made me smile. He was getting closer and closer to the Eli of this morning, and I couldn't be happier.
When I turned around to see him thrashing around on the floor, however, I dropped what I was doing and ran over to him, cradling his head. His eyes darted back and forth uncertainly.
"Claire, the memories are coming faster. I-"
He dry-heaved, tears brimming in his eyes.
". . . I don't feel so good."
***TSJWFKFEW***
Eli found himself in a dark field. He looked left and right, wondering why the world was so empty.
"Hello? . . ."
The ebony grass blew gently in the wind. Eli took a step forward, and realized that he had a foot instead of a wheel at the end of his leg.
"Claire! Hey, Claire! I'm human again!"
No reply.
"Claire? . . ."
I'm here, Eli . . .
"Claire, I can't see you!"
He felt a hand in his palm. When he looked down, he saw a crystal glove with its fingers laced between his.
"Whoah . . ."
Suddenly, the glass burst into water, spraying his suit. He screamed.
Eli!
"Oh, god, I think I'm gonna throw up!"
Hang on, hang on. Let's get you to the bathroom.
He covered his mouth, cheeks puffing out. As he was led away by a chain around his wrist, he felt his palm graze something familiar.
"No . . ."
He was holding a giant marshmallow. His Adam's apple trembled.
"I know what this is . . ."
Suddenly, the grass twisted into bony, old hands. They grabbed for his face, too weak to hold him back, but dangerous all the same.
"No, no, no!"
Eli, calm down!
Tears trickled down his cheeks.
"Please, no!"
The hands grabbed at his shirt, pulling him down into darkness. He whimpered, then with a terrible cry, swung the marshmallow. As it made contact with the arms, they dissolved into ash. When he looked down, he was holding a clump of feathers.
"No . . ."
Eli, are you okay?
He tried to lift his foot, but it was stuck. The ground was bubbling around him. It was turning into blood.
"NO! . . ."
It frothed and spat at him like lava. He thrashed around in panic. It started pulling him under.
"HELP!"
As it reached his waist, he felt a hand holding his.
Eli, you're okay. Calm down.
"It's gonna pull me under!"
There's nothing there!
It was up to his neck now. He closed his eyes.
"I knew this was coming. Just let me drown."
Eli!
He let go of the hand, but before he was sucked into the whirlpool of blood, he felt someone caressing his chest.
Eli, you're okay. I'm here.
He choked.
"Why? You saw what I did. I'm a monster. I can't help myself."
Yes, you can, Eli. And if you ever feel like you're not strong enough, I'll help you. I love you.
Suddenly, the world changed into a foggy version of the hotel room. Seeing Claire in front of him, Eli breathed a sigh of relief.
"It's okay. I'm back."
"You never left."
He gulped.
"Claire, do you really love me?"
"Of course!" she replied, batting all six eyes, "Why wouldn't I love you?"
He frowned cynically.
"I can think of many, many reasons."
She draped a tentacle over his shoulder.
"Eli, the past is in the past. I don't condone your actions, but I've forgiven you. The only thing that matters is what we do now."
"God, Claire, I'm so sorry . . ."
He leaned forward for a kiss. Claire hummed.
"Eli, why are you sucking on my horn?"
He reached out with his paw. She took it in hers.
"Claire, I can't tell you how much I regret everything I did to you."
"Eli, you don't have to-"
"Is it wrong that we're together? I'm afraid, Claire. I don't want to hurt you again."
"But you wouldn't . . . would you?"
He shook his head.
"Not on purpose, but what if I make a mistake? How do I know you won't leave me then?"
"Eli, I-"
"I just know I'm gonna fuck this up like I fuck up everything. I've already sent you to the hospital."
"That wasn't your fault."
"But it's my fault I stayed with you after that. There's something horribly wrong with me, thinking I can live a happy life. I don't deserve that."
"Eli, you deserve to be happy. You've changed."
"But I shouldn't have been bad in the first place, you know? It's like, if I wasn't decent from the start, nothing else matters. I wish I could just hit reset on everything, but I can't, and sometimes I wonder if the only way out is to die."
He grunted as she flung her arms around his neck.
"Eli, whatever you do, don't die. I know it's not easy, but we can find a way to make this work. I love you, and I am so, so lucky to have you."
"God, me too," he gurgled, "Without you, I'd be mean or dead or something. You make my life worth living. Without you, I wouldn't have a reason to wake up in the morning. Please, don't ever go away, Cl- Clayre. Am I saying that right? I feel like I messed it up. Clur . . . Clar . . . Deedring . . . Clard Reedring . . . Clearing- That's a real word! I did it!"
Claire smiled and kissed his nose.
"That, you did. I'm proud of you."
He fell over her shoulder, moaning happily.
"We fixed everything, didn't we? Now we can get married and buy a house and have kids."
"Um-"
"You have the kids, I'll have the car- Wait, we don't need a car. I forgot."
Claire laughed.
"Eli, I hope you're just super high right now, because I'm not ready for that kind of commitment."
"Thats okay, that's okay . . . New plan: you buy the house and I'll have the kids. Do you think I can get pregnant? Do dinosaurs get pregnant?"
"Cars don't . . ."
Suddenly, Eli's eyes migrated apart.
"Oh my god . . . I am the car . . ."
Claire waved her paw in front of his face.
"Eli? . . ."
"Whoah . . . Claire, I'm, like, a car and a person. I'm two parts of the family, Claire. That's like if your dog was your house. We should live in a dog, Claire."
"I don't think that's a good idea . . ." she giggled.
"Oh, Claire, we're all set! Crap, which one of us is having the kids, again?"
"Neither."
"We'll just make another Maisie, then."
He gasped.
"Wait! . . . TWO Maisie's!"
"Eli . . ."
"No, think about it! If you have two Maisie's, that's twice the normal amount of Maisie per square inch!"
Claire smiled.
"We could always bump it up to three."
Eli's mouth hung open.
"You just blew my mind . . ."
Claire stroked his head, and he stared into the distance.
"Oh my gosh, Claire, we can have SO many Maisie's. If we build a big enough house, we can just keep making Maisie's forever."
"Well, I still need help with the already-existing Maisie."
Eli rolled onto his back.
"Aw, but that one doesn't like me . . ."
"Well . . ."
"I really blew it with her. Can't we just start over?"
"And keep making Maisie's until we find one that likes you?"
Eli considered it, then gulped.
"What if none of the Maisie's like me?"
"As long as you don't lock them in their rooms, I'm sure they'll be fine . . ."
Eli's lip began to quiver.
"Everyone hates me . . ."
"No, they don't."
Tears trickled down his cheeks.
"Claire, you should keep all the Maisie's. I know how much you love her, and I'll clone a billion Maisie's if it'll make you happy."
"One's enough."
"You deserve more, though, Claire. But you can't have any more, because we're always together, and she hates me . . ."
He started bawling.
"I'm ruining your life!"
"Eli, no . . ."
"If I had just stayed dead, you'd be living happily ever after on a Maisie-farm with Owen!"
"Eli, forget Owen. He had his chance, and-"
"But you love him!"
She pinned his snout to the bed with her paw.
"And I love you too, Eli. We belong-"
He shook himself free.
"No, no! You're wrong! Your life would be so much better with Owen, because I wouldn't be in it!"
She grabbed his cheeks and kissed him furiously.
"Don't you say things like that! Don't you ever fucking say things like that . . ."
He choked, eyebrows wiping away his tears.
"I don't understand you, Claire. I don't understand why you love me."
"Why not?"
"Because I don't even love me, and I'm me!"
He blinked.
"Oh, fuck. I forgot my name. Is that normal? . . ."
Claire sighed and laid him down.
"Listen, Eli-"
"Wait! I remember it now!"
"Yes, good. That's good. But you need to get some sleep, okay?"
"Mmm . . ."
She ran her paw down his neck.
"There you go, there you go . . ."
"Will you stay with me, Claire?"
"Of course."
"Forever?"
"Absolutely."
"Good . . . I forgot what I was going to say . . ."
"That's alright."
"You're really pretty . . ."
"Thank you."
"I'm gonna go to bed now."
She kissed his forehead.
"Sweet dreams."
He smiled and nuzzled her chest.
"Goodnight, Claire. I love you."
"I love you, too."
***TSJWFEW***
I was amazed by how much Eli had changed over the past year. Witnessing his transformation in a compressed timeframe made me appreciate just how far he'd come, and although I was unhappy with Moonwatcher's actions . . . Well, I could see why she did what she did, wrong as it was. Memory was, as Moonwatcher said, a kind of time machine, allowing people to call back the way things had been, if perhaps in an unreliable and distorted form. Remembering my past actions conjured up feelings of shame and regret, but in a way, that was a good thing. It meant that I would never be like that past version of myself again, because I had learned and changed and grown as a person. It meant that I was my best self, and that I could be even better. Even if change was gradual, even if looking back hurt sometimes, it was a wonderful thing, in the end. Change had brought me to Maisie, to Eli, and even to Owen, before that whole relationship fell apart. I was better for having evolved in the way I did, and so were my friends and family. Other people could be better, too. That's why I took Eli's advice and returned to the lab to try to reform Henry Wu. He was bitter and condescending and full of himself, but if he decided to make a change, I had no doubt that he'd be another Gunnar, or Wheatley, in a worst-case scenario.
"You're wasting your time, Claire," Wu sneered.
"Well, that's entirely up to you. If you decide that it's worth putting up with us to get out of here, maybe you'll warm up to the idea. We might even be friends, someday."
"Unlikely. You never appreciated my work."
"I think you could do a lot of good here. If you can somehow study these dinosaurs in a non-intrusive way, you could help them adapt to this new world. I'll bet you could make miracles happen in a medical capacity."
"There's no such thing as miracles, just planned occurrences that are too complex for most people to understand. I could blow any project out of the water, obviously, but what's the endgame? What do I get out of this?"
"Freedom, friendship . . . money? . . ."
He scoffed.
"Nice try. You people are always promising fame and glory, but you never let me carry out my operations the way I want to. A year in, and all of a sudden, it's: 'We've cut funding!' or, 'I'm selling your prototype!' or, 'Don't put cat DNA into that pachycephalosaurus, Wu! I have allergies!'"
"Is that a real example? It seems too specific to be made-up."
He lowered his head.
"It's real. All I wanted was to carry out my experiments without interference, but nobody ever gave me that opportunity."
"Well, if you promise not to create hyper-violent militarized dinosaurs anymore, maybe we could find a compromise."
"I don't want a compromise. I want respect."
"Respect is a two-way street. Maybe people would respect your work more if it was used to make something good."
"What, like a regular dinosaur?"
"Like a life-saving dinosaur-drug . . . or a pachycephalosaurus-cat, if that's what you want."
The corners of his mouth twitched.
"Well, it would make them a lot more agile."
I smiled.
"I'm sure there are lots of people looking to adopt that exact dinosaur."
"As a child or as a pet?"
"Child. You could bring so much joy into people's lives, if you thought about what would be best for the world, instead of . . . what you were doing before."
". . . I'll think about it. But it doesn't seem like you actually care about me."
"Well, you did cause two major disasters . . . but nobody's perfect. I'm willing to forgive, if you're willing to do better."
"We'll see. We'll see."
I nodded.
"Thanks, Henry. I hope we can learn to get along, someday."
"Same goes for me," Eli added, "Our friend group could really use a . . . thing-on-the-back-a-saurus."
"Spinosaurus."
"Spineysaurus. Exactly."
Wu slapped his forehead.
Hearing footsteps, I perked up.
"I think we have a visitor!"
I beamed as Maisie came running into the lab. She flung her arms around my neck.
"Mommy . . ."
I nuzzled her gently.
"It's good to see you, too. How was your day?"
"Amazing! Zia and Franklin taught me how to fish!"
"That's great, sweetheart. Did they walk you here?"
"Mhm. They're waiting outside. They said that if you're done work, we can get nachos!"
"Sounds like a plan."
As I leaned in to nuzzle her again, I heard a new voice echo from across the room.
"Maisie? . . ."
Slowly, we all turned to face the cage at the back of the lab. The purple hybrid was staring at us, suddenly alert. His eyes fell on my daughter.
"Maisie, you're here . . ." he whispered.
She started quivering.
"Grandpa? . . ."
I have never smelled so much fear in a room. This changed everything. I found myself incapable of uttering a single word.
And then I remembered Eli.
He was standing there, frozen in place, drenched in a cold sweat. His eyes were fixed ahead. I tried to touch his arm, but he took no notice. Soon, the dinosaur in the cage met his gaze.
"You . . ."
Eli's throat quivered.
"I- I-"
"HE MURDERED ME! GET HIM! GET HIM!"
Eli bolted through the doors, screeching down the hall. I heard him round a corner as I made a dash for him, but remembering Maisie, I spun around. I saw her sitting on the ground, covering her ears and sobbing. Quickly, I nabbed her by the hood of her sweater and draped her over my back, taking her away from the trumpeting dinosaur. He called after her.
"MAISIE! MAISIE! DON'T YOU TAKE HER AWAY FROM ME, YOU MONSTER!"
I didn't turn back. My throat was dry and my heart was pounding.
Things were about to get messy.