Yorkshire, England – Present Day

The sight of Anna rocking Michael twinged John's heart. He watched from the doorway as Anna settled the boy to sleep again and laid him back in his cot. With a swallow, John shifted into the corridor and let out a breath as his phone vibrated in his pocket.

Withdrawing it, John slid his thumb to answer the call and stepped further down the corridor to hear the voice on the other end. "Hello?"

"John, it's Henry."

"I assume you're calling about something less than stellar." John leaned against the wall and adjusted his hold on the phone to rub his fingers on his right leg. "What's going on?"

"We've found some traces of Vera." John held his breath as Talbot continued. "Not enough to satisfy anyone to the point where they'll contribute money or resources but the grapevines I've been squeezing and caring for have her moving through the Continent."

"Making her way here?"

"It's possible." John could almost hear Talbot shrug through the phone. "Most of her network's been broken down through the last year, because of your work, and she's either grasping at straws or she's tying off loose ends to start anew."

"Which do you feel it is?"

"I think she's testing the strings she's strung up." Talbot sighed. "Vera's always been hard to pin down because she's adaptable. She's cunning and devious but she's also smart. She's not going to double down."

"Is that your professional opinion?"

"From what I've studied of her, yes."

John massaged at her eyes and took a breath. "Then, in your opinion, would you think it's possible she'll risk everything to hunt me down?"

"Maybe." Talbot spoke quickly, as if trying to cut off any attempts John might've made to speak to that comment. "You were at her side for awhile so I'll defer to you but over the last years I've tracked her progress and she's careful. I'd suspect her to poison someone before she's toss C4 at them so…"

"And I'm the C4?"

"I think hunting you down, in a display of power, is not her style." Talbot's teeth clacked on the other end of the line. "If she's coming for you, then she's coming at you sideways. Like a velociraptor."

"Did you watch Jurassic Park recently?"

"Some things you keep forever." Talbot sighed, "But your security system is still up and, as far as I can tell, still effective so you'll see her coming."

"Unless she's still got someone keeping eyes out for her in the upper levels." John chewed the inside of his cheek. "Did they ever find the mole in the PM's office?"

"The trial's ongoing and beyond my scope, thank gods." John snorted his agreement there. "But I know that Ms. Smith's a key witness and, when they get to her, she's got damning evidence."

"Are those on trial still in positions where they could pass Vera information?"

"I can look into it." John thought he could hear Talbot making a note. "If you could, please ask Anna who she knew as the mole in her office and I'll make some thread checks of my own. I think I can get a better gauge of the net I may have to close if I know who else I could catch in it."

"Sometimes I wonder if you were a spider in your previous life."

"I should hope I was something as devious as a spider." Talbot paused, "Maybe something like the trickster, Anansi. He would be well worth the effort of having been a spider."

"I'm not sure you get to choose who you were in your previous life."

"If I did, he would be the choice." Talbot sighed, "But, point being, if you can have Ms. Smith tell me who she's testifying against then I can try and see if my conspiracy board links them."

"Are you using red yarn for your spiderweb?"

"Just have her send me the information on this line. It's coded so there won't be a chance of anyone hacking it for information."

"I'd rather she use a carrier pigeon in that case."

"I'll let her decide the form of information sending if she's worried about someone figuring out what she knows."

"I'll have her call you then." John waited a moment, "Anything else?"

"Just keep eyes on your monitors and keep Ms. Smith safe enough for the justice system to try and do a better job with this case than they've done with others in the past."

"Because they've done such a bang up job with those?"

"I'm sure they'll find a way to bugger this one too but I'd rather all of our ducks are in a row so we can take the vindictive pleasure in pointing the finger at them when it all goes tits up." Talbot heaved another sigh, "No rest for the wicked."

"I'll keep that in mind." John hung up and turned back up the corridor to see Anna coming out of her room, pulling the door closed behind her. Pointing at the door, John nodded at it. "He back down?"

"Yeah. A quick feed and a change and he's right asleep again." Anna took in a breath and let it out with a flare of drama. "The exhausting life of a baby."

"He's got to finish fusing bones together. That's a rough business."

"Not as rough as some but rougher than others, sure." Anna bit at her lip and nodded at John. "Who was on the line?"

"Henry." John wagged the phone in his hand a moment before pocketing it again. "He's got possible leads on Vera but he'd like some information from you before he makes any definitive calls about her."

"He wants the information I have?" Anna's face scrunched. "That sounds…"

"If you're hesitant to give it to him because you're leery about who gets the information from him or what he'll do with it, that's up to you." John shrugged, "I'm just passing along a message."

"It's… It's not Henry I don't trust."

"I never thought it was that."

"But…" Anna shook her head, "Henry's tight about his confidences but the moment he's got the information, it's not all his anymore is it?"

"He reports to someone and there are greedy people everywhere, that's true." John opened his hand to Anna. "It's your decision. If you want to share what you know with Henry then you can. If not, don't. At the end of the day he'll have to make do and whatever he does is up to him."

Anna chewed the insides of her cheeks a moment. "Would you give him the information, if you had it?"

"Before, yes." John took a breath, "But now, knowing what I know about how all this went pear shaped… No, I wouldn't."

"Because you don't trust Henry?"

"Because Henry can't offer any guarantees. He's only got himself and then it's out of his hands." John shook his head, "Whatever Henry knows now or can find, maybe it'll be augmented by what you could give him but it could also prove a waste of time and we've dashed our hopes."

"And you don't want that?"

"I believe the best hands for my decisions and my fate are my own and I'll not put that responsibility in anyone else's hands again."

"That doesn't sound like the man who gave over the management of his house and estate to historical societies and a local library system."

"I still manage the estate and I have final say in decisions but delegation is different from handing over control." John beckoned Anna to follow him into the small library that took up what used to be a collection of storage rooms. He moved to a section of shelves and showed her the books. "These are the ledgers from the estate, before we went digital. My father taught me to read them and know them so I could make decisions about how to run this house. They're… not the Bible, necessarily, but they're the guide for how to take ownership of what's given to us to steward and protect."

"And which one of these documents the exploits of the most famous Duke or Reerbourne?" Anna's fingers slipped over the ledgers' bindings.

"He's the one who started this system. It was a wreck before he worked it all over and tried to rein in the mismanagement of his house."

"Is that why he's the most famous of the Reerbournes?"

"It's why I admire him." John took a breath, "He was a man who honored tradition but also realized you can't be trapped in the past."

Anna was quiet a moment, "Says the man who sleeps on a cot."

"That's not being trapped by the past so much as being a recovering victim of it." John bit at his lip. "Wouldn't you say the same?"

"My recovery is about ten pounds and needs someone to change his diaper." Anna faced John, "But I think you're right."

"About tradition?"

"About needing to keep what I know to myself." Anna took a deep breath, "I know who the mole was and I know who I'm testifying against. But I also know that they're connected enough to keep this rigmarole going this long. They've got connections and I think they're stalling."

"They or the investigation?"

"Both." Anna filled her chest, held it, and then released. "I think someone's using a delay tactic and I'm the target."

"Because of what you know?"

"Because of what I can prove." Anna waved a hand in the air. "Without my testimony it's all supposition. They can't prove anything without me. I'm what would allow them to try Vera here instead of having to toss her to whichever country they decide has jurisdiction, which would be a shitshow in and of itself given how many countries she's operated out of and used to her advantage."

"I can't say I'm entirely against the idea of tossing her in a subpar prison and seeing her try to struggle her way out of it."

"She can struggle her way out of a lot of things, regardless of country, but I want to make sure she'd always have someone nipping at her heels so she's got to watch her back no matter where she goes." Anna almost deflated after she finished and sat on the edge of a chair. "I don't want to spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder when I could keep her away with mutually assured destruction."

"She'd always be after you that way."

"But I'd know I had aces in the hole I could use." Anna shrugged, "Isn't that the point of a landmine? You make the cost of trying to achieve the goal more hazardous and therefore not worth the effort of the activity?"

"I think the point of landmines is to blow your enemy to hell but I understand your reference." John took a seat as well. "That being said, I personally think the only way to ensure Vera never comes after you isn't to put her on notice or keep her at bay or even to put her in prison."

"No?"

"No." John shook his head, "I think we need to put her in the ground."

"Without cause that's murder."

"They'd have a hard time finding a jury to convict for that murder."

"But the chance that someone does is always higher when you bet against it." Anna leaned back in her chair. "Do you think you would risk that?"

"It was my job before."

"But now, could you do it?" John did not answer so Anna continued. "After all the work you've put in to try and stop yourself having nightmares or living the life you did before, would you risk your soul to go back to that place and do the kinds of things that would ruin all your hard work?"

"I think your premise is flawed." Anna raised her eyebrows. "You're suggesting that if I killed Vera it'd be out of vengeance or some kind of misplaced point of pride."

"It isn't?"

"No." John gave a little snort. "When I killed Green, self-defense though it was, that was a choice made out of revenge and vengeance. Killing Vera would be part of the job I do."

"But there are emotions that come with that job."

"Yes, but this choice isn't emotional, it's practical."

"You're not a robot John."

"No, I'm a pragmatist and some people need to be put down, not put to the side or in a cage." John ran his tongue over his lips. "I understand if that… If you feel you can't…"

"Can't what?"

"If you can't trust me, knowing what I'd be willing to do." John flexed his jaw, "Knowing what I have done."

Anna took her turn to snort. "If you think telling me that your idea of pragmatism, and by that I mean you being willing to kill Vera so she no longer poses a threat to me, is a turn off then you don't understand me at all."

"No?"

"No." Anna shook her head, "I'm not shocked by what you're telling me, John. And I think you shouldn't act like I don't know who you are."

"I'm not sure you know the kind of man I could become."

"I'm sure I know who that man is better than most." Anna shrugged, "In case you forgot, I saw the man you were in the back of a lorry taking us into Nepal. You even took the time to tell me then, rather frankly, the kind of man you are."

"Were. Or…" John closed his eyes, "The kind of man I was. I don't… I don't want to be that man anymore and I'm afraid that if I let him out again…"

"You're not Mr. Hyde, John."

"But I've the capacity to be."

"Everyone does."

"I'm…" John sighed, "Not everyone's had the chance to be, and I have. The things I've done, the places I went to so I could do those things… Those aren't the actions of a good man. Those are the actions of someone who can do horrible things. Someone willing to do horrible things. Things that leech at the soul."

"That doesn't make you a monster or irredeemable."

"But it does make me dangerous. And if…" John took a breath, "If I could do those horrible things then, what's to say I couldn't do them again? Couldn't do them to you? Or to Michael."

"I say."

"Because you're seeing what you want to see."

"You're right." John's mouth dropped open a little at that. "I am seeing what I want to see and I'm wondering why you're not."

"The things I've done-"

"Saved my life." Anna opened her hands as if putting something on display. "And it'd be poor repayment for your service and sacrifice if I were to try and judge you for those things or think of you in a way other than how I do. Which is positively, by the way."

"That doesn't make me any less of a monster."

"Then accept that you've been a monster and you might have to be one again." Anna took a breath, "I don't regret whatever monster you unleashed to save my life and I'd invite him out again if it keeps Michael safe."

"Anna-"

"John," She cut him off and John found his mouth hanging open again as he stared at her. "I think you need to hear me say something and then process it a moment before you speak again. Can you do that?"

"I don't-"

"Can you hear me out and then speak?" She waited and John nodded. "Good."

Anna took a breath. "First of all, you need to realize that I'm not afraid of the man you became in your past to do horrible things. Maybe I should be and maybe I would be if I hadn't endured with you what we did." She held his gaze and John forced himself not to look away. "But I did endure it. I saw the worst of humanity that I'd ever seen and that gives you a different perspective. One where you realize the moral high ground isn't as stable as you thought when you recognize that someone has to fight in the mud against worse things so you can sit in the ivory towers built on the foundations of their sacrifice and blood."

Anna swallowed, "And that being said, I can't be afraid of that man. I can't be afraid of the man you think you might become or the man you became because I've met him. I saw the horrible things you did to keep me safe. And if I said anything less than that I accept what you did for me then I'd be a hypocrite of the worst sort and I won't be that."

John only nodded and Anna continued. "More to the point, I'm not afraid of you. I might've been, when we first met, but I'm not now. And I wasn't when you left me in Nepal."

Again Anna waited but John did not interrupt her. With another breath she continued, "I'm not afraid of your dark side because I know why you'd unleash your demons or make yourself a monster and I couldn't judge that any more than I could judge you for having those impulses or inclinations." Anna leaned forward, "I may not know exactly why you have them or how you developed them or how you keep them contained but that doesn't matter to me. All I care about, and all that should matter to you, is that I don't fear the how. I couldn't. Not ever."

"Why not?"

"Because I couldn't fear what keeps me safe." Anna risked reaching out a hand and John did not move as it landed on his. "I couldn't fear what I hope to make mine and so I don't."

John studied Anna a moment before he finally spoke, his fingers moving over Anna's skin. "You truly are a woman of unique and incredible talents, aren't you?"

"It's been said." Anna smiled and put her other hand over John's, stopping his efforts, "But I want you to say, right now, that you'll stop being afraid of yourself."

"I can't promise that." John focused on their hands. "Because I am afraid of myself. I'm afraid of nightmares I can't run away from. I'm afraid of what impulses I sometimes have. And I'm afraid that I'll ruin everything I try to build because I can't pull away from the darker parts of myself."

John raised his head to meet Anna's eyes. "Not because I don't want to but because I don't want to lie to you."

"Then promise this," Anna interlaced their fingers together. "That you won't go out of your way to turn on that dark side of yourself to hunt Vera down. That you'll put aside whatever impulses might compel you to revenge."

"Do you think I'd do that?"

"I don't know but, for now, I think you need a guide. The baby steps to help you realized that you're a better person than you think you are." Anna brought their joined hands to her mouth and pressed soft kisses to his fingers. "Can you promise me that you'll stay here, with us, and keep us safe?"

John nodded, "I can promise that."

"Then we've already got the first step accomplished." Anna smiled and lowered their hands. "It's all progress from here."

"I like the sound of that." John took his turn to tug their hands between them so he could kiss the back of Anna's. "And I like having you here. You and Michael."

"Even when he cries at odd hours of the morning?"

"I've got insomnia and night terrors when I don't have nightmares." John shrugged, "I'm usually awake."

"And you don't mind the new security system you had to install or the fact that milk takes up a fourth of your refrigerator?"

"I wasn't using the space." John smiled, "And I like having you both here because… Because it's less lonely."

"I know something about that." Anna swallowed, "And I like being here too. I like learning what it is to not be lonely anymore."

"Maybe we can learn to not be lonely together." John took a deep breath. "And maybe we can learn how to bury our monsters."

"I'd like that." Anna's fingers played over John's hand before tugging on it slightly. John leaned forward to follow the movement but stopped when Anna used the grip to stand up and close the distance between them. When she stopped, standing right in front of him, John raised his head to look into Anna's eyes. "And I'd like this as well."

John struggled to swallow past the dryness in his mouth. "So do I."

"Then let's do it." John went to stand but Anna put her other hand on his chest and stopped his rise. No effort went into her hand on his chest but its very presence kept John in his seat and he struggled to breathe as Anna straddled his thighs. "Like this."

"However you'd like." John ran his tongue over his lips, forcing himself to swallow as his hands settled on Anna's hips. His fingers trembled and his hands shook slightly but he kept them in place as Anna settled in his lap. "I'm yours however you want me."

"And what if I want to know how you want me?" Anna's hands flattened on John's chest and smoothed up his shirt to settle gently at his neck. "I'd hate to think I'm the only one who does the liking around here."

"You're not." John blinked rapidly as Anna's fingers graced up his cheek. "I'm… I'm just afraid."

"I know." Anna nodded and leaned forward to kiss gently on John's cheek. "But, maybe, if you're willing to not be afraid for a bit then we'll find there was nothing for you to be afraid of in the first place."

"And then?" John's hands settled slightly on Anna's hips as her fingers graced the hair at the back of his neck. "What happens tonight? Or tomorrow?"

"We'll be less afraid. And, every day after that," Anna leaned forward to put her forehead to John's, "We'll be less and less afraid until we'll realize we've no reason to be frightened anymore."

"I don't want to be frightened anymore."

"Then don't be." Anna's eyes opened and she pulled back enough to meet John's eyes as her hands shaped around his jaw to keep his face steady. "We don't have to be afraid anymore."

John closed the distance between them and kissed her then. His hands did not shift from her hips and his body kept rather still under her but his lips moved insistently on hers. It was Anna that moved, arching into John's kiss and running her fingers through his hair to hold him closer when John deepened the kiss. And the alteration in her position pressed her against him and John flexed his fingers at her hips to keep her close. Close enough that her breath hitched and she broke the kiss.

They did not speak. Instead Anna rolled her hips again and her breath hitched but the grip of her fingers in his hair did not change. Instead she set a steady roll to her hips and gyrated against him.

John tried not to move. His hands only adjusted to hold Anna more securely to make sure she did not fall back off his knees when she arched to better press the seam of her jeans against him. And he pressed his foot into the floor to try and counter the roll of her hips to better meet her motions.

But it was not enough. The soft huffs of Anna's breaths combine with the frustration carving furrows in her brow had John risking losing his grip on her for a moment. He fumbled between them to unbutton her jeans and slide her zipper down as much as the space between them would allow. It was not enough but with a little finesse, and a disregard to the awkward angle it inflicted on his wrist, for John to rub his fingers against Anna's clit through her knickers.

One of her hands slipped to his shoulder and held there, her fingers curling like claws to ground herself against him as the speed of her hips increased. Anna's other hand speared into the hair at the back of his head and used her grip there to guide their mouths together again. John chased the suggestion of the motion and let his tongue add fuel to the fire as his fingers focused. A moment later, between their kiss, John's fingers, and Anna's intent, she came.

Her cry echoed through the small library and John held to it, his hips bucking of their own accord against the final gyrations of Anna's hips as they slowed. It took a few more moments for them to settle and they broke and joined in a series of sloppy kisses before Anna finally drew back enough to take a few deep breaths. They pressed their chests together until Anna's back arched in the other direction so her forehead could rest against John's shoulder.

The hand he formerly kept at Anna's waist slipped up and ran over Anna's back. Slow motions, gently running in calming gestures finally urged Anna to sit up and let out a breath. She smiled at John, her hand moving from her taloned hold on his shoulder to cup his cheek before she pressed a chaste kiss to his lips.

"That was lovely."

"I thought so." John withdrew his hand, rolling it at the wrist to try and work out the kinks there and prevent another part of his body growing sore and stiff. "And it was my pleasure."

"Was it?"

"Sure." John smiled back at Anna. "I greatly enjoy bring a smile to your face."

"I'm convinced you could do that with far less effort."

"I've found that varying the degree and intensity of effort tends to lend well to bringing about pleasure and satisfaction."

Anna snorted, "Very smooth."

"There are a few people who'd agree with that assessment."

"Beware of the hole you're digging right now." Anna raised a warning finger. "You'll find that suggestive comments like that can get you into trouble."

"What kind of trouble?"

"The kind that leads to you having pleasure too." Anna shifted back off John's lap, removing his hands from her but kissing the backs of them before she did so. "Because I do believe in fair play."

"This isn't about equivalent exchange."

"And yet I want to do it anyway." Anna finished unzipping her jeans and kicked them down her legs before removing her knickers. "You'll want to shift forward a little."

John obeyed immediately. His fingers fumbled and he almost zipped them in his trousers but standing in a crouch allowed him to shove them and his pants to his knees. It only took half a second for Anna to push him back into the chair and retake her position on his thighs as her fingers stroked gently over him.

A shiver passed through John and his hands gripped the arms of the chair as Anna caressed him in her hold. Before he could warn her of possible consequences, Anna rose onto her knees with John's hands flying immediately to her back to hold her steady so she did not fall back off the chair. A moment later, her grip only leaving him at the last possible second, Anna sheathed him.

The position, a new one for them, demanded they both relearn their rhythms. Constraints set by the chair made for unintended obstacles but also proved useful for maintaining speed and angles they both desired. With hands that moved from body to chair and back as they sought support, both sides tried to find the middle ground for their mutual pleasures. And, with fingers and kisses included, they soon reached a speed they both wanted.

John's heels on the floor, one his own and the other a carbon fiber miracle, offered him the leverage he needed to bring his hips together with Anna's as he thrust as deeply into her as their position allowed. The angle ran her clit against him and he maneuvered his hand between them to add pressure and texture to the motion so Anna could rub against him. The slick result ran over John's abdomen and he slipped as his hips bucked harder. But Anna's sounds forced John to refocus past the haze of his own pleasure to help her find hers.

It did not take long. The sensitivity her earlier orgasm provided and the fumbled pressure John's fingers provided allowed Anna to reach the peak she needed. And the constriction of her vaginal muscles around him as she came urged John closer to his own finish.

His forehead pressed to her shoulder and one of his hands held at the small of Anna's back, keeping her close to him, as the rut of his hips lost all finesse and dissolved into frenetic motions. Anna's fingers held tighter to him, her sounds falling in hitches and small rises until John came. The flutter of her muscles around him mixed with the sigh that John released into the fabric at Anna's shoulder but her hand at the back of his neck kept him close to her.

They settled after a moment, both breathing hard, and only released as the tension bled from their muscles. John held to one of Anna's hands as she slid free and dismounted so she could keep herself stable. He rose a moment later, one hand holding his pants and trousers to his thighs as he found a box of tissues he then offered to Anna. She took some for herself and John followed suit to try and clean himself enough to pull his trousers back up.

Disposing of the evidence, John turned back to where Anna buttoned herself back into her jeans. He offered a small smile, suddenly almost self-conscious. "I've… I've never had sex in this room before."

"Neither have I." Anna smiled at John as he grunted a laugh. "But I don't regret it, if you were worried about that."

"No, it's not that. It's…" John rubbed at the back of his head, "It's more that I don't think I'd have done that with anyone else."

"The room or the position or-"

"The conversation." John motioned around them. "To have a conversation about what I feel and then… It's more intimate than I've had with anyone before."

Anna closed the distance between them and took one of John's hands in hers. "For me too."

"I like it." John squeezed Anna's hand. "It makes me less afraid."

Anna only squeezed his hand back.