Mist Hastings, D4
I killed Troy three times. The first time was right after the Bloodbath. I hit him with a stick and tore his throat open with my teeth. I thought he was gone, but he came back the next day. He was the same as ever, his throat whole again. Whole enough for him to talk. I killed him again, with a rock this time. He stayed away for two days that time.
A parachute came down from the sky after that. I shied away from it. The government sent it, just like they sent the people that took Troy and brought him back to life. It was something to kill me. When I finally crept up and opened it, it was just gasoline. There was a note inside, telling me to burn everything down. I had a friend, then. Someone knew how much danger I was in and knew Troy was already trying to find me again. He couldn't find me if he was burned.
I poured the gasoline on the grass and set it all on fire. It spread everywhere in minutes. I heard Troy screaming from every direction at once. I found him after the fire died down. He was covered all over in burns, and it was easy for me to kill him. That time he stayed dead. A loud noise sounded and hovercrafts filled the air. They were coming to get me, and I couldn't get away.
"Mist?"
It was Shelle's voice. I remembered Shelle. Something had been wrong with my brain when I last saw her. I remembered her as a monster, but I could see that wasn't right. I was in an entirely different world, one where things made sense, and I didn't know what to make of it.
"Mist, I know you're very confused right now," Shelle said as I sat up. "You have schizophrenia. Do you know what that is?"
It was like having a real brain for the first time. I did know what that was. Yesterday I hadn't, but now I did. All those things I thought in the Arena weren't true. And that meant-
Oh my god.
"While you recovered, you've been receiving medication. The affects are progressed already because you've been recovering for a week. I know it's hard to accept, but this is normal. Everything you see here is actually here. You're cured."
It wasn't that easy, of course. Immediately after Shelle could see I was able to understand, she waved another woman into the room. I was in obvious need of a psychiatrist, but I had been so unstable they were afraid I would think she was another hallucination. I stared at the new woman in confusion and dread.
"Troy is dead," I said. I didn't remember everything that happened while I was insane, but that part stuck with me.
"Yes, he's dead," the woman said.
"Who did I kill?"
I killed four people in my life. First I killed Troy. Second I killed Mouse Parentii. Third I killed Harmony Calesque. Fourth I killed Dante Efore. I wasn't really myself when I did it, but that didn't stop the guilt. It was what I had to tell myself over and over as I worked with Shelle, my family, and Dr. Matheson. I'd been insane for almost my whole life. It would take long to undo all the damage my mind developed. I was a Victor, though, and I had that much time. Recovery was so hard I sometimes wished I was back the way I was, so far from reality my emotions were barely real. My support network was tireless, though, and we pushed on together. We got to where I started to move toward real recovery, and after that, we'd work on showing me I deserved it.