A/N: Happy Wednesday/Update day! I've lengthened the chapters because I felt I wasn't getting everything in there. This will likely be the norm moving forward, maybe a little longer.
As always, thanks for the reviews, favorites, follows, etc. You guys are the best.
Hope everyone has a great week!
Wednesday, March 11, 2015
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Jacob
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There was only one thing, up to this point, that Jacob enjoyed about being a wolf.
He'd spent most of his life thus far being responsible, punctual, dependable, adaptable, and reasonable . He had to be reasonable. Had to rationalize to stay sane and on top of things. Who he was today was built upon necessity, and those circumstances had molded him into a practical person. Practicality meant that there was little room for emotional whims and reactions. Life consisted of tasks and fulfilling them. For Jacob, there were six main boxes to be checked: water, food, sleep, family, school, and friends. In no particular order. They were all surprisingly demanding.
It was fucking exhausting.
Of course, the wolf brought extra weight to throw on his shoulders. But it also brought him freedom, minuscule as it was. There was a small window of time after he'd shed his clothes and then his human skin, let the power of the wolf engulf him fully, when the world tunneled and there was just him and the forest. Running full tilt with no boundaries, no rules, and no tedious tasks to fret over. For those first moments of his run, the excessive worry and anxiety of his day-to-day life bled away, and he could breathe . Weightless. Easy.
That didn't last, of course. And when it ended there was little reason to exult. The burdensome senses aside, Jacob struggled with the nature of the wolf. Life, he'd thought, was complicated enough. It was hard enough. Now, there was this dual side to himself that he didn't always understand. It was new and confusing. Weird , sometimes. He was used to being level-headed. Reasonable , right? Practical. The wolf shared those traits in that much of what it intended was simple. Protect, provide, pack ; a mantra of the center focus for this creature that wasn't really a creature, and yet… was.
Confusing. All of it.
But the wolf oftentimes made the humans un reasonable. Im practical. Pushed them to one emotional extreme or the other. When they were mad, they were furious . When they were sad, they were morose . The way human-Jacob would handle a situation differed greatly from wolf-Jacob. He'd tried desperately to hold onto himself. To be the balanced voice. The wolf mannerisms that were slowly creeping into their diurnal behavior were uncomfortable and… cringey , even. Constantly seeking physical contact, growling or whining while still in human form, lowering heads in submission. Submitting , in general. Not to avoid a simple playground scuffle, but to recognize dominance , to secede to it, because to do otherwise would end in a real fight, with claws and fangs and hefty consequences. Inhuman, insane things that were arduous to explain to anyone outside the pack. It was hard to cope with.
But the loss of his control was something Jacob almost couldn't stand.
Up to this point, he'd done well to mask it. Had forcefully kept himself within the comfortable realm of his old self; for his family, his friends, but mostly for him. He'd needed this. He'd needed to prove that the wolf would not turn him into something, into some one , he didn't want to be.
Sam Uley took every shred of self-control Jacob had, threw it in the dirt, pissed on it, and lit it on fire.
Jacob's skin was on fire .
The wolf was clawing through his rib cage, battering against his sternum, clattering through his veins like sweltering basalt. He felt too big for his skin. Too much . It was all just too much .
"Calm down!" Billy yelled, but as was customary when these things happened, his voice was muffled. Underwater. Jacob could barely make it out over the pounding of his heart in his ears. "Both of you need to take a walk."
Taking a walk would be the responsible thing to do. Being the bigger man and all that.
Right now, Jacob's temper was shot. Gone. His mind was spaghetti noodles tangled and fried, firing off very poor, very uncharacteristic signals to the rest of his body. He wanted to hurt Sam. Really hurt him.
"You overstepped ," Sam snarled, shoving against the picnic table separating them. " Again ."
As soon as that table hit Jacob's legs – just as good as Sam coming over and throwing a fist – that desire to do violence overtook him. He grabbed the edge, wood bowing under his fingers, picked it up and pushed . They weren't that far apart, so it was a testament to how much force he put behind the motion when the table hit Sam's torso and splintered into pieces. Sam stumbled and nearly fell on his ass, chest and shoulders red and angry, already bleeding from cuts of all sizes. The edge had clipped his chin, too. It was split open and nasty-looking.
The pack was around them but didn't dare intervene. Jacob could feel his power swelling; an achingly cold omnipresence leaking into the air and stretching outward. Embry hit his knees and one of those inhuman sounds erupted from his chest, as if he couldn't help it… as if he were in pain. Jared and Paul were crouched low, eyes down and away, feeling for the first time the intensity of Jacob's wolf – a wolf whose dominance far surpassed their own.
I'm doing this , Jacob thought remorsefully, but it was quiet, buried in the back of his mind beneath an eruption of things he'd done so well to hold back… until now.
"If you weren't so fucking weak , I wouldn't have had to step in." He didn't yell. Didn't have to. Every syllable was punctuated by that odd, shivering distortion he'd accidentally used on Paul. It was flowing freely now, unchecked. Something flickered in the blues of Sam's eyes; doubt, maybe. "Bella pushed Paul too far, and you froze . Some fucking leader. Some fucking Alpha . You talk a big game, Sam. I haven't seen much to back it up."
The wolf consumed whatever doubts Sam had, flashing angrily in his irises. "This is on you . Your idea, your affiliation with the girl that's at the center of all this shit. If you hadn't gotten involved with her, this –"
" – If? If ?" The space his table stunt had put between them closed quickly. Jacob hadn't meant to move. He knew that being so close would only exacerbate his anger, but he couldn't help himself. "How about if you'd listened to me about the vampires, we'd have been finished with this weeks ago?" His hand shot out and shoved Sam back and Jacob continued to advance. "How about if we'd gotten rid of the threat back then, we'd be two or three bodies lighter?" He shoved him again, harder. "Instead, there's a dead girl rotting in Olympic National Forest and in my fucking head , and that's on you . You've had a hard-on for me from the moment I phased into the pack, and you've let this stupid fucking rivalry get in the way of every decision you've made as Alpha since."
It wasn't fair, Jacob knew, to put that girl's death on Sam. He wasn't at fault. Not really. And if Jacob had been thinking more clearly, he'd have freely admitted that Sam was fundamentally committed to the pack and to La Push. It was low to doubt that, especially in front of the other wolves. Especially when Sam was convinced that Jacob was trying to usurp his position. A shining example of why trying to deal with problems while the wolf was raging through their blood was a stupid, stupid thing. He recognized this through the haze and shoved Sam, who had gone a shade or two paler than usual, to put some space between them. Jacob inhaled, heart-pounding, and pressed a fist to his chest. It hurt , trying to pull back from that dark, violent place. He felt like he was being yanked in two different directions, split right down the middle.
Looking up at Sam's face, the regret hit him in full. He knew Sam had been through a lot since phasing. Taking on the responsibility alone. Patrolling, trying to figure things out, simply existing without the pack had to have been terrifying, and lonely. What happened with Emily was a gunshot wound that wouldn't heal; the bullet lodged somewhere between the right ventricle and pulmonary valve of his heart, perfectly placed so that every time his heart beat, the blood that rushed from the pulmonary valve and into his lungs to become oxygenated was tainted with its noxious presence, triumphantly infecting every part of him. Guilt and grief on a cellular level.
Jacob didn't know what Sam was like before he joined the pack, but he'd tried to be gracious about Sam's immediate dislike of him. The competitive undertone in every conversation. The combative tint that colored every interaction. He'd tried, and now he'd failed. Jacob had finally hit Sam somewhere it really hurt by insinuating that any of this was his fault. It was ridiculous and petty, and Jacob felt fucking miserable.
There was a good five paces between them, but Jacob backed up to give them more room. Every eye in the yard was on them. The wolf calmed from a boil to a simmer, and it was shame burning his skin now, rather than rage and a preemptive phase. This was a mess he'd actively participated in, if not created, though, so he ignored them and gave Sam his full attention.
Looked him in the eye even though it was against their silent protocol, even though he knew Sam's wolf would balk at the perceived challenge. Jacob didn't care about the wolf right now. He'd hurt Sam, the man , and whether the guy deserved it or not, Jacob felt obligated to make it right.
"I'm sorry," he said firmly, but genuinely. Sam's wolf did balk. Jacob ignored it. "Blaming you for –" His mouth opened but he couldn't say it again. Couldn't bring the dead girl up in this context, out here in the open now that his head was clearer. Jacob hadn't realized it bothered him so much. He sometimes saw her eyes when he was sleeping, milky and distant and amaurotic, but he'd always had horrible dreams. This was something else. Something deeper. "Blaming you isn't fair," he said instead. "I shouldn't have said that."
Sam studied Jacob's face for a moment, brows furrowed, and it seemed as though there might be an end to this obnoxious infighting. Maybe, Jacob thought, they could handle this. Maybe they could communicate without trying to rip each other apart. Maybe they could hang in long enough to stop phasing; get through this mess together, help each other, and come out intact on the other side.
Something shifted in Sam's face, and Jacob's hopes evaporated. "No," the Alpha said sternly, "you shouldn't have. Just like you shouldn't have allowed her to barge in here like that and expose our secret. Though, I guess since you've already broken that rule yourself, you didn't see –"
From a simmer, back to a boil. Jacob felt his muscles expanding, his joints popping uncomfortably, and turned. Giving Sam his back was both dangerous and insulting to the Alpha.
Jacob didn't care.
Sam's growl chased after him, but he didn't make any moves to follow. "Where the fuck are you going, Black? We're not done."
"Fuck you, Sam."
And just to emphasize that, Jacob kicked an old fender laying innocently by the garage as he passed, and it crumbled against a tree.
Fuck him.
His clothes and skin ripped in unison under the shade of the forest and he took off.
.
Thursday, March 12, 2015
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Leah
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Downstairs, muffled slightly through Leah's bedroom door, Connie Corleone was screaming, asking Carlo why he didn't just bring his whore home for dinner ? Glass was breaking and there was a lot of shouting. Spoiled Guinea brat being repeated over and over with an increasingly derogatory lilt. Inevitably, a door slammed and then was subsequently kicked open, and Leah could picture the scene in her head as Carlo's voice demanded Ga'head, now I'll kill you! and then everything devolved into the sounds of belt leather hitting flesh and Connie wailing and crying. Leah'd seen that movie a thousand times, and now, like every other, she wanted to reach through the television and beat the shit out of Carlo.
She contemplated getting up and going down to finish The Godfather with Harry, who was sprawled on the couch in his boxer shorts, beer in hand, and probably an array of snacks junking up the couch, getting crumbs everywhere. Sue would be pissed in the morning.
Leah pressed the power button on her phone and squinted as the light erupted into the darkness of her bedroom. 2:15 a.m., with an unopened text from Rachel from 1:56.
If you hear from him, please let me know.
She pushed up onto an elbow. Her hair, loose and still slightly damp from the shower, fell over her shoulders, getting in the way of her fingers as she tried to type a reply. Annoyed, Leah sat up fully.
I'm sure he's fine, Rach.
Leah was sure. Physically, at least, Jacob could take care of himself. As for what happened between him and Sam, well… she wasn't as confident in that regard. Leah had known Jacob her whole life and had never seen him so angry. It wasn't like him. And then bringing up that poor girl they'd found in the forest, the vampires, the consequences of their new responsibility… it dawned on her that it might be taking more of a toll than he'd let on. Something else Jacob was good at? Compartmentalizing.
There was a slow roll of thunder and then a sharp flash of lightning through her bedroom window. The moon was in waning gibbous; an eerie, chalky presence behind a blanket of clouds somewhere in the sky. She couldn't see it from her bed. There was only the irregular flash of blue-white light and the dark outline of trees and clouds that disappeared in clips. The wind was picking up, jarring limbs and rustling leaves noisily against the back of the house. Still, Leah recognized the sound of someone climbing the alcove to the left of her window. Rachel and Rebecca had done it a million times. So had Jacob.
He was heavier now, so the step of his bare feet against the shingles was dense. Solid. Leah's room was completely dark except for the light green blip of her laptop charging on her desk and the faraway glow of the air freshener plugged into an outlet in her adjoining bathroom. Even though she knew it was him, even though she knew he'd be appearing in the window, remembering all the talk of vampires and dead bodies, and knowing that one was still out there, hunting even now, had her pulse skittering and her lungs tightening. Lightning flashed, momentarily lighting her room and the windowsill, and then there was nothing.
In the space of a blink, amber and gold eyes were glowing in the blackness.
"Shit," she hissed, fingers reflexively clutching at her chest.
The window creaked open and he slipped inside, quieter than he should have been capable of. "You should keep this locked," was his way of saying hello.
"Yeah," she agreed, trying to slow her breathing.
No one had heard from him since he'd stormed off, leaving an irate Sam behind and the rest of the pack sulking and slinking around their Alpha, trying to stay out of his eyeshot. Jacob didn't return home when everyone left. The rest of the wolves went AWOL, too, once Quil was gone and Sam was sure he wasn't going to run his mouth. Leah strained her eyes to make Jacob out as he approached. He was shirtless. Nothing new. A dark pair of shorts hung off the defined dip of his obliques and it was still kind of nuts, noticing things like that; the wide curve of his shoulders, the bulge of his biceps, the way his traps climbed up the sides of his neck when he was tense. Leah admitted with growing reserve that she was far more attuned to the human anatomy than she used to be.
Odd, really. It wasn't like she was some sixteen-year-old virgin seeing her boyfriend without a shirt for the first time. She'd experienced all those awkward firsts and had long since felt the press of a man over her, inside her , and knew the pooling warmth of lust intimately. At least she thought she had. Things weren't really like that with Sam. It was all smooth sailing and gentleness. Nothing like this. Nothing like the crackling sensation that intensified every time she was around Jacob now; like the residual, burning desire to kiss him again, kiss him more . Deeper. Less testing and more exploration. He sat down on the bed, their shoulders touching, and her skin felt like the severed end of a live wire.
Get it together, she thought, feeling ridiculous.
"Rachel's worried," Leah said in opening, because his sister didn't deserve to be left hanging. "Text her and tell her you're okay."
Jacob took her phone and did as he was told. In the tinted light of the screen, Leah could see his profile a little better. There was a dark spot at his right temple, and his cheekbone was slightly… off. A lump where there shouldn't have been one. Her brows furrowed and her hand moved before she thought better of it, fingers brushing over the scrapes and bumps of his face.
"I guess Sam caught up with you."
"We had another disagreement," he confirmed drily.
"Ready to explain what the hell all that is about?"
He sent the text and Rachel replied almost instantly, both thanking him for letting her know and chastising him for going so long without checking in. Jacob dropped the phone on the mattress and the screen went dark. He was slow answering. Either because he didn't want to, or because he wasn't sure how to. He'd said before that he'd let her know when he figured it out. Leah couldn't fathom what that meant. Why he was struggling so hard to put it into words.
"It's the wolf," he said at length.
"In what sense?"
"Remember I told you about dominance? About the hierarchy?"
Leah nodded.
"Sam was Alpha because he phased first, and the wolves that came after weren't as dominant as him. It put them lower in the hierarchy, so there was no friction between them. He didn't see them as a threat. I phased, and…"
He trailed off, sounding unhappy, so Leah said, "And you were more dominant than him. You should technically be higher up in the hierarchy."
"Yes."
She considered this. Considered Jacob and her ex and their volatile relationship. Sam had never been short-tempered or aggressive, per se. He could be a jerk, sure, but in different ways. He drank too much, sometimes. Got annoyed when he was around someone that was doing better than him. Sam had managed middling grades in school and, once he graduated, went straight to work at Ingle's Towing. He drove a tow truck and did repossessions through a different company when the jobs came through. Sam made decent money – enough to support himself in his own house and have some left over to be comfortable. That didn't stop the bite of jealousy when someone else had their own good fortune.
Paul, for instance, who'd started as an apprentice electrician with Anthony Merrik before he'd graduated high school and, a little over a year later, had earned his certification and was working full time at Merrik's company as a full-fledged electrician, making damn good money. Sam would never say it out loud, but Leah knew it grated on him. Sam, at his core, was a jealous person. Self-consciousness, maybe. A lack of confidence in himself. She didn't know for sure. The wolf, who felt threatened by Jacob's presence, probably amplified feelings that were already there.
Leah reached for him, closed her fingers around the forearm closest to her. "So, why not be Alpha, then? Just end this whole thing?"
"Because I don't want to be. I don't want any of this." He was frustrated, she realized. Wound tight. Despite being here, without provocation, his eyes were still bright with the wolf. Jacob continued, "Sam likes having everyone at his beck and call. Likes the power and the control. I don't care about it. I just want to kill Victoria, get it over with, and move on."
"Do you think it'll end there?"
Jacob's illuminant eyes met hers. "You don't?"
She mulled it over, unwilling to appear as if she thought she had all the answers. This wolf stuff was his lane, not hers. That he'd shared this part of his life with her so openly meant she had a different viewpoint than he did. It didn't mean she knew better.
Carefully, she said, "I think, with this generation, it started with the Cullens. I think Victoria, Laurent, and all the shit they've done started with the Cullens. Bella is tied to the Cullens. Edward is gone right now, but what if he comes back? What if they all come back and they bring their drama and vampire politics back with them? Do you still stop phasing? Trust that they won't break the treaty?"
"I don't trust that, no. I don't trust them. " He let out a slow breath and his shoulder pressed into hers. "I guess I've always thought they'd come back."
"So, what's the deal, then? What's really stopping you?"
Jacob's forearm flexed under her fingers. She couldn't see him very well in the darkness, but she imagined his face was pinched, brows drawn and lips pressed into a thin line. His grumpy face, as Rebecca had always called it. She slid her hand up behind his elbow, linking their arms.
"I don't –" He paused. Sucked air into his lungs and held. "I don't want to be responsible for them." She felt his head shake. "That sounds so fucking selfish, I know. But it's true. I don't wanna take on that extra burden; their safety, watching over everyone. It's too much."
Leah nudged him. "You don't seem too happy with how Sam's running things, though."
"He doesn't listen. Like, yeah, he's the Alpha, but this isn't some kind of wartime dictatorship. Sam's still just a man. One that could do to take others' advice now and again."
"Is it just you that he ignores, or everyone?"
"Started with just me. But then Paul or Jared would go to him with the same thing, and he'd swear they were getting it from me and would shut it down. He can't stand the thought of me being right or the others agreeing with me. I thought he was gonna combust when Embry and I went to Forks without his say so."
"That's when you found the girl?"
"Yeah." His torso expanded as he inhaled deeply and his other hand reached out for her, gripped the end of her tee-shirt in his fist. It occurred to her, suddenly, that all she had on underneath was a pair of underwear. "We followed Bella up to Tassel Creek. Caught the vampire, Laurent's, scent and followed it deeper into the Olympic National Forest."
Leah had been there the night they'd burned Laurent's body in Jacob's backyard. She remembered the smell and the awful hissing and whistling as the fire had slowly eaten away at him. In the shock of the moment, she'd missed a good chunk of the details surrounding how they'd wound up with a dead vampire in their burn pit. She'd helped Jacob wipe away a portion of the blood and guts slowly drying on his skin and it had taken her a few nights of mulling it all over to come to terms with the whole thing. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't imagine what that must have been like. Hunting it. Attacking it. Ripping it apart.
The Council still hadn't come up with a viable way to report the girl's body without drawing suspicion or getting involved.
"You were right last night," Leah said, getting a grip on her thoughts. "What happened to the girl wasn't Sam's fault. It's not yours, either."
He huffed a mirthless laugh. "But that's what it feels like. I do feel responsible. I know there was probably nothing I could have done, but that doesn't change anything." His hand released her shirt and rubbed roughly over his chest. " This is why I don't want to be Alpha. I don't want to have to live with myself if something happens. If Paul or Jared or Embry, or even Sam, got hurt or killed, I'd never forgive myself. I'd never be able to accept it and move on. I struggle enough with that as it is."
"But what happens if you and Sam can't figure this out? Can't learn how to deal with each other?"
"What happens if I do take it? If I decide, alright, I'm gonna be Alpha. You think Sam'll just step down? Move over and let me have it? He's been gearing up for that fight from the beginning. I just keep thinking… what does that mean? What does a fight for Alpha entail? We phase and rip each other to shreds, and whoever's still moving at the end wins? Is it to the death?" That hand was rubbing over his chest, dead center, with more fervor. Leah unhooked their arms and covered that spot with her palm. His heart was pounding. He kept talking. "I don't even know if I'll be able to control myself if that happens. I get to that point and the wolf just… blurs everything out. I feel like I'm underwater. I don't like feeling out of control, Leah. That's what this is like."
Leah pushed up onto her knees and moved closer so that her nose was hovering near his jaw. She still couldn't see him very well. He could see her, though. Leah kept a hand on his chest and brought the other up to run through his hair. This was odd territory for her. She didn't like seeing him so… conflicted. Weighed down. It was her nature, as it was their family's nature, to act when someone they loved was hurting. She wanted to do something. Help him, somehow. But in this business with the wolves, she was completely, infuriatingly, helpless.
Before she could say anything, he shook his head and when the small laugh puffed through his lips, it was a little more genuine than the last. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to dump all this on you. That's not why I came."
"You're not dumping anything on me, Jake." He dropped his forehead to hers and went quiet, done talking about wolves and Alphas and dead people. She fiddled with his hair and wondered aloud, "Why did you come?"
"To apologize. About last night."
Leah snorted. "It was Embry's party, not mine."
"I apologized to him, too. I didn't want to just bail like that. No goodbye or anything. I'm the one that invited you, after all."
"You are. And I had fun." She smiled. "Quil was pretty freaked. You should've seen his face."
"I should probably call him too."
His voice had taken on that gloomy, clouded lilt again, and it tugged at her chest.
"Hey." Leah nudged him until he was looking at her, eyes still glowing dimly. "Don't be so hard on yourself, okay?" She inhaled and it was the air of the room mixed with his breath. "I know this is all… fucked up. There are no good choices. But, I think, eventually, you will have to choose."
"What if I make the wrong choice?"
"You're a good person, Jake. Whatever you decide, I know you'll have your reasons. I trust you. Your family trusts you. Embry and the others trust you. You're gonna have to start trusting yourself."
"You're just biased," he joked, but it fell flat. He must've seen her expression in the dark because he amended with, "Okay, Leah. Okay."
Moments ticked by and they were just there, just breathing, and it was nice. Comfortable. The hand she'd left on his chest moved up and around his head, and she hugged him. It had less to do with the tension between them and more about wanting him to feel better, but when his arms lifted and his hands slid up her hips, around her, to envelop her properly, her innocent intentions were betrayed. He was so warm. The familiarity of the embrace did not lessen the significance of it. She'd hugged him innumerably and still, somehow, this felt like the first. A milestone in this new chapter where they were no longer platonic, where she did things like kissing him and imagined doing it again. Often.
Jacob's face was buried in her neck and when he tilted it, just a little, she pulled back to try and see him. She hadn't made another move after that kiss in his room. They hadn't had the chance to talk about it, or even acknowledge it, really. Too much going on. Too little time spent alone. Part of her had wondered if, despite her second, enunciated peck on the lips before he'd left, the whole thing had been forgotten. By him, not her. No, she couldn't have forgotten it if she'd tried. Jacob was so bogged down with shit lately, though, Leah imagined it hadn't been at the forefront of his mind. That maybe it hadn't been as… momentous for him.
Doubt was a niggling, stupid thing, and Leah was not immune to it, no matter how comfortable with herself she was.
"Can you see me?" he asked quietly.
"No. Just outlines and shadows. And your eyes." She swallowed. "Why?"
"I'd like to kiss you. Just didn't wanna take you off guard."
Well.
"Noted," she whispered.
If he'd been hesitant last time, that was not the case tonight. She was on her knees and already mostly wrapped around him in the aftermath of the hug, but his arms around her waist tightened and pulled her closer, flush against him, and when his lips pressed to hers, it was solid. Sure. A new, greedy part of her was already thinking that the questing innocence of their last intimate encounter wouldn't be enough. She'd decided to wait for him to make the next move. Leah had initiated it. If they were going to see where this went, she refused to do all the groundwork.
Jacob didn't disappoint her, though. He rarely did.
His tongue swept into her mouth and the live wires under her skin crackled and popped around a slow-growing puddle, inching closer and closer. She moved with him and it was simultaneously easy, harmonic, and profoundly intense. Overwhelming. A bone-shaking scintilla of realization, possibility, and want. It was easy to forget the worry – the imprinting, the wolves, the odds of them ruining a lifelong friendship – when his hands and mouth were on her like this. When she could get over the denial and accept that she felt things with him that shamed her previous ideas of affection and desire.
This was what she'd been craving, and still she wanted more. There was a decorum for these things, she thought. A tight pathway of acceptable movement two people progressed down once they made that initial dive. First-month progressions. Second-month progressions. Getting to know you. How did that fit in with someone she'd known forever? Someone she recognized inside and out, even after all the physical changes of the wolf? Leah would know his voice anywhere. Could pick the back of his head out of a lineup a hundred strong. She knew that he rarely ate breakfast, even now, and made up for it with a big lunch. Knew that he'd acquired a taste for mob movies after years of watching them with Harry, but that he was a sucker, like her, for classic horror films. She knew that if someone pulled up his music playlist, they'd think it belonged to eight different people, because he liked a bit of everything, depending on his mood.
Jacob was as known to her as she was to herself. She understood him and loved him, even amid this changing space between them.
So, really, how fast was too fast?
Leah scraped her nails along his scalp and his hands gripped her hips and why? Why had it taken so long for them to do this?
He lifted her, suddenly, but she didn't let go, didn't stop kissing him as he laid her back onto the bed and braced himself over her. The puddle finally hit those live wires; a hot, visceral current that shot from her mouth straight to her toes.
And then he stopped.
"What?" Leah rasped, hands moving down his neck, over his shoulders. She wished, not for the first time that night, that she'd turned on a lamp, that she could see his face. "What's wrong?"
He grunted and pressed another lingering kiss to the corner of her mouth. "Your dad is coming up the stairs."
Leah let her arms fall to the mattress as Jacob sat up. "Of course he is."
The footsteps he'd heard long before she did finally topped the stairs, reaching her ears. She sat up and adjusted the comforter over her bare thighs right before the door opened, yellowish light from the hallway spilling into the room.
"Jacob," Harry greeted fondly. "Funny seeing you here."
"Small world."
Leah rolled her eyes at them both. "Something I can help you with, dad?"
"Just doin' my rounds. You know."
Something thumped down the hall and Leah scowled.
Harry moved closer to the bed, gripped Jacob's chin in his fingers, and moved his head into the light. Jacob was facing Leah, so it was an awkward turn. Harry tsked in disapproval. "Take it you and Alpha didn't quite get it worked out?"
"Not quite."
Sue shuffled into the room, arms folded and curled inward, unsuccessfully warding off the cold in an old tee-shirt and shorts. "Let me see it, sitsqua ." She tilted his face this way and that, studying him clinically with squinted eyes. "I'll grab some peroxide. Stay put."
"It's fine," Jacob protested, pulling away from them. "You don't need to fuss."
"Don't be stubborn. If they get infected –"
" – They'll be gone before morning. Trust me."
Sue's eyes widened a bit. "It works that fast? The healing?"
"So far, yeah."
"Well." Harry sighed and sat down at the edge of the bed, patted his beer belly fondly. His tone was more forlorn when he said, "Apparently Bella informed Charlie of the County's new wolf problem. He and Forks P.D. will be on the hunt. I think the Sheriffs are getting involved, too. I told him I'd help them track. At least I can keep an eye on things that way."
"Be careful," Jacob said, all seriousness. "Victoria is out there. We chased her all the way to the Canadian border last night. She was back by midday today."
Sue shifted from foot to foot, unhappy thinking of vampires so late at night. "She's more careful than the other one, then?"
"And faster."
A howl echoed in the distance in tandem with the first spray of rain on the window, whipped to an angle by the wind. Leah, though she had no idea what the different cadences meant to the wolves' ears, recognized this one. It was the same one she'd heard the last time they were alone in Jacob's bedroom.
On cue, Jacob said, "I've gotta go."
Seth ambled in as Jacob stood.
"Be careful, sweetheart," Sue talked over Seth's sleepy party in Leah's room comment and followed Jacob to the window. "Did you let Rachel and Billy know you're alright? Have you eaten?" Before he could answer her brows pinched and she demanded, "I thought you patrolled until two on weeknights? You have school tomorrow."
Jacob took it all in stride, pulled open the window to let in a gust of misty air. It was cold. Biting. "Texted Rachel as soon as I got here, I ate earlier, and Sam wants us all out while Victoria is nearby." He paused. Hesitated. "She killed someone up near Port Angeles on her way back from Canada. Sam wants us out in force; Forks and La Push."
"Unbelievable," Sue murmured, patting Jacob's arm absently.
Seth squeezed through his parents. "Heading back out there, huh?"
Jacob raised a brow. "Uh. Yeah."
"Can I see?"
Harry snorted and Sue smacked the back of her son's head.
" Ow. What the hell was that for?"
"Watch your mouth," Sue snapped. "And don't just go around asking to see people's… wolf form? Is that – doesn't matter. It's rude."
Jacob was laughing in earnest as he climbed over the sill. He cast Leah one final look, loaded down with things he couldn't say in this crowded moment, and dropped to the roof shingles. "Give me a minute," he called to Seth, and then they were all crowding around the window, even Leah.
She thought Harry had seen them before. Maybe Sue. Still, they watched as Jacob's outline jogged for the trees, triggering the motion-light in the backyard and, after a quick moment, reemerged as an enormous wolf, fur quickly darkened by the rain, but with a clear reddish tint. Russet. His eyes were brighter than she'd ever seen them, like twin flashlights in the night. Another wolf broke the trees and looked between Jacob and the house. Whoever it was made Jacob look that much bigger. Dark gray and white with glowing silver eyes. He saw them in the window and his tail swished back and forth as he yipped and danced for them. It was kind of cute.
"Be careful!" Sue yelled, and the silver wolf yipped one more time before trotting back into the forest.
Jacob tilted his head back, howled, and Leah felt it in her bones.
Answering howls filled the sky. The motion light went off, and they were gone.
"That was… the coolest shit ever ."
Sue cuffed Seth again, pretty features contorted angrily. "What is with you and that mouth lately? Do I need to cram a bar of soap down your throat?"
"I don't think that's the saying," Seth replied primly, which just pissed his mother off more.
Harry snorted. "Boy, you are askin' for it. Go to bed before that hole gets any deeper."
Sue kissed Leah's head, Harry's cheek, and then ushered Seth from the room, nagging him all the way down the hallway.
"So," Harry said at length. "I thought you two weren't dating?"
Leah's eyes darted between Harry's face and the trees. A blush crept up her neck. "We're… not."
"No?"
"Not in such certain terms."
"But it's something."
Leah swallowed and smiled before she could help it, suddenly feeling giddy. "Yeah. I guess it's something."
"I thought so." Harry hummed and patted her shoulder as he turned to leave. "Good."
.
Sunday, March 15, 2015
.
Jacob
.
The week ended and the weekend sped by in fits and starts; chasing Victoria, nearly having her, losing her, and starting all over.
Three days had passed, and Leah was still on his tongue.
Brief reprieves to shower and brush his teeth didn't dull the ghost of her touch, her taste, or her scent that seemed to be permanently burned into his skin. It was hard not to think of her. Harder to keep his thoughts from slipping into the others' heads while phased. He wanted to see her again; wanted to stop by like he had Thursday night, just to say hello. But their nights were filled with the scent of death and a trail of bodies that spanned from Forks to Port Angeles, and all the way to Seattle.
His stomach was growling, and he was trying to remember his last full meal when his nose caught a wisp of Victoria's scent. Near-constant rain had made locating her difficult, but not impossible. The canopy of the forest gave enough shelter; their senses just heightened enough. Jacob followed the faint trail at a trot and slowed as it grew stronger.
" Where are you ?" Paul asked, sensing Jacob's wariness.
" Lake Pleasant. Northernmost point ."
" I'm on my way to you ."
Jacob eased through the area, nose to the ground, ears and eyes up. Alert. There wasn't much in the way of civilization here. A recreation park at the southern base of the lake, the small town of Beaver; a few campgrounds; a few houses. Jacob hadn't expected to find anything this far north. But the lingering scent of rubber, motor oil, and metal mixed with exhaust fumes suggested a car was nearby. Citronella and boat wax and… hamburgers, he thought. Jacob's stomach knotted suddenly, and his legs sped up.
" There's a house," he told the whole pack. " Victoria's here and there's a house. "
" Don't engage alone, Jacob," Sam ordered, but the force of it slid through the bond between them and just… puttered out. " Are you listening to me? Jacob –"
He shut it down. They'd had so many chances. So many encounters where they'd literally had her in their teeth, clothes ripping and her turning in just the right way, catching her footing before they did, and taking advantage of the head start to get away. People were still dying. They'd killed Laurent and it didn't matter. It hadn't stopped anything. Hadn't saved anyone. Jacob was getting really fucking tired of playing catch up with this bitch.
The stench of her led him to the side of a large house right on the lake. There was a boat docked, an old jeep parked in the drive. Windchimes tinkled forcefully with the heavy breeze. Jacob lowered himself and crept through the carefully manicured yard. He eyed the wood bench swing rocking noisily amid a beautifully arranged garden of flowers that were obviously made for Washington weather. Whoever lived here took great care with the landscaping. His gaze swept the rest of the back half of the house and froze on a messy gathering of children's toys; a water table and covered sandbox, small buckets and tools lying haphazardly around it. Balls of all sizes and a plastic baby doll.
Jacob's heart ricocheted. " There are kids here," he hissed through the link.
" Are you sure she's there? " Jared, seeing through his eyes. " Maybe this is a ploy to draw us out ."
It was working, Jacob thought. But no. It wasn't a ploy. Her scent was too strong. Too condensed here in the area around the house for her to have just skirted through. " She's here ."
" Wait, Jacob," Sam ordered again.
His sensitive ears caught movement inside. It was late. Well beyond midnight. He glanced around the yard again and then, unable to idle, slunk to the back porch steps. The door was sliding glass with no curtains. Both useful and dangerous for him. He winced when his claws clicked on the cedar steps and tried to better balance his weight. Turned out, it didn't matter.
The darkness inside didn't hinder his vision, so he saw it the moment Victoria stepped from the shadows of another room, an elderly female struggling in a headlock, crying quietly. There was blood. He could smell it now. Saw it dripping from Victoria's mouth. His lips drew back over his teeth and his head dipped low, but no sound escaped him.
"Here, pretty puppy," Victoria cooed, smiling over red fangs, matching eyes studying him through the glass. "He's a good boy, isn't he? A smart boy. You always seem to find me." The nail of her pointer finger, manicured and painted royal blue, slid over the woman's throat. Her wrinkled skin was soft enough, weak enough, that the gentle pressure drew blood. "I have to admit, this has been fun. You're much more entertaining than the Cullens have been." Her smile twisted into a sneer. "I'm going to kill the girl. Bella. I'm going to drain her so slowly. Make her hurt. Make her beg. Edward hasn't been back, but we live in the age of technology, don't we? I'll just record it and shoot him a text. Easy-peasy."
Part of him wondered if he should phase. Speak with her. Maybe he could explain that Edward bailed and didn't give a shit what was happening to Bella right now. Whatever had been between them was gone, and all of this was for nothing.
Danger, his wolf whispered, and Jacob remained as he was.
"I'll tell you what, wolf." Victoria's head arched and her nose pressed against the woman's face. She inhaled. "Give me the girl. Let me take her. All of this will be over. I'll leave and you'll never see me again. Your home will be safe, and this," she licked the woman from jaw to temple, "can end."
Jacob knew that wasn't an option. He couldn't trade Bella's life for peace; wouldn't trade anyone for anything, because these were people they were talking about, not baseball cards. But there was a fierce, ugly moment where phrases like the greater good appeared at the backs of his eyelids, and both he and the wolf in his chest were horrified that his brain had even manifested such ideas. Greater good or not, that was a rabbit hole he wasn't willing to go down.
Victoria read his silence, his motionlessness, for what it was. "I didn't think you'd go for it, but you deserved the chance to make a choice. Your efforts are… commendable."
Leah's words flittered through his mind: No good choices. You'll have to choose, anyway.
No good choices.
Victoria's smile returned and Jacob's hackles rose. She's going to kill her, his wolf sang through his blood. An urgency gripped him. So did doubt.
No good choices.
Choose, anyway.
He surged forward, suddenly, momentarily taking Victoria off guard. But she was fast. Vampires were, in general, but this was something specific to her. A singular talent. Jacob ducked his head and burst through the sliding glass door. He'd hoped to distract her. Force her attention from the woman in her grip to the wolf coming after her. But Victoria had come here for a reason. She was teaching them a lesson. Flaunting her ability to stay ahead of them in their faces. And even though she did have to give him her full attention, deal with him as he barreled towards her, she took that split second between him hitting the door and reaching her to do what she'd always intended. She curved her fingers under the woman's chin and jerked, snapping her neck and killing her instantly.
Jacob hit Victoria head-on, and they crashed into the dark living room, through the wall at the front of the house and onto the porch, over the railing, and into the yard. His jaws snapped relentlessly, and she just managed to keep out of his grasp until they hit the grass and he landed, luckily, on top of her. His mouth closed over her shoulder and blood sprayed as she let out an ear-piercing shriek of pain and fear. Finally, he thought. Finally . This could end.
In her panic, Victoria did something they hadn't written or warned them about in the old stories. She whipped her head around and bit his fucking neck, and the pain was instantaneous; sharp, vicious, burning. Fire licking through his blood, his muscles, his bones. An awful sound erupted from his throat, but he didn't let go. He held tight even as his body began to shake and his vision blurred; a kaleidoscope of flickering colors and darkness and things he knew had to be in his head. Shuttering images of his mother, his sisters at varying ages, Leah, Harry, Sue, Seth, Billy. The beach and Sol Duc River and dozens of other places throughout his childhood. The sheer quantity of it all was overwhelming. Spinning and one moving over the other until his stomach was sick.
Still, he held on. Had to. If he could just wait for the others to get here. Wait, and they could take care of her. She was right there, in his jaws, writhing and hitting against him with force, but not enough. Not enough.
Victoria knew, he thought, that the venom was affecting him.
She bit him again.
Jacob's jaw slackened at the second onslaught of poison, and it gave her the room she needed. Victoria slipped out from under him, planted her feet, and slammed a fist into his face. The force slung him back into the porch and he crashed through, into the space below. The air left his lungs as the fire consumed him, millions of blisters bursting under his skin. He watched the bright orange of Victoria's head disappear as she fled, leaving him convulsing and yelping in the ruins of a stranger's front porch. A dead stranger.
Jacob felt bile surge up his throat and his vision wobbled, the kaleidoscope whirling at uncomfortable speeds. Dizziness confused his thoughts and then, as suddenly as it all started, the world went black.
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