I did not miss my sister.
She's dull and pretentious. She talks too much about politics and clearly does not like our mother or our father. She drew her wand on my mom! Who does that! Grandpa says Audrey is not a good duelist, mom was not in any danger but still the idea of it makes my blood boil.
I slammed my textbook closed and looked across the table at Angeli Chavez, who snapped to attention at the sudden loud noise, her cherubic face looking at me in shock and mild annoyance. Angeli was quickly becoming my best friend, she was a Seed from Florida, her large family were all No-Majs except for her. She's sweet tempered, speaks two languages and cracked a board over Ethan Greene's head when he called her a racist name. I helped her cover up the crime by dragging the unconscious thirteen year old into a closet and told the professor she had been with me in the library during the actual assault when he came snooping.
We had been inseparable ever since.
"Really Annie?" Angeli said in her sweet way that reminded me of Audrey in a way that I refused to dwell on.
"Sorry." I scuffed my shoes on the floor, listening to the scraping noise and the squeak my shoes made if I pressed hard enough.
Angeli looked at me with a doe-like expression, strands of her dark hair escaping her low ponytail to frame her face.
"Are you alright? You haven't been yourself since you came back from visiting your family."
I looked over towards the restricted section where the books of dark magic were kept for the upper years Defense studies. I asked for permission to go have a look around only to be chased off by the professor I was asking, my insistence that I was studying to be an Auror fell on deaf ears.
"Annie?"
"I'm fine." It didn't even sound convincing to my own ears.
Angeli looked at me with a quizzical expression before changing the subject.
"Oh, I think my younger brother might be a wix."
"Really?" I perked up, "What makes you say that?"
Seeds were interesting to me. Magic was a gift and magic showing up in a family with no known magical bloodline was something that excited my dad. It meant new ideas and more intimate understanding of No-Majs that would help us blend in and hide in the years to come. I would usually tune him out at this point, he would focus on politics a lot after that. Audrey would nod along and pay attention to everything he said on the matter.
Why wouldn't this stop?
"Mom told me that the power went out during the hurricane, but when they opened the fridge after the lights came back on, the vegetables were thawed, the meat had gone bad, but the ice cream was still frozen solid."
"Sounds like magic to me. Which brother?"
"She thinks it was Mateo. He's eight, he was very disappointed about the ice cream while they all sat in the dark for 12 hours."
"Why not Jose?"
"Jose likes vegetables."
"Return him to the hospital." I laughed.
"How's Audrey doing? Is still interning with MACUSA?"
I froze.
"She's fine." My voice was low, my mood shifting from teasing to sour with a speed that was new to me.
"Annie?"
"I SAID SHE'S FINE!"
My voice echoed through the library, earning a chorus of shushes from the library pages and the nearby students.
"Out!" the librarian snapped from her desk, pointing at the door her voice like a baying hound. I rose, making as much of a ruckus with my bag and possessions as I could manage, making sure the chair hit the table when I pushed it in. I could not see, my eyes were blurry with tears of anger or something else as I stormed out of the library. I could hear Angeli behind me, her steps quick and hard on the stone floor as I broke into a run down the stairs for the door that would take me outside.
"Annette!"
I pushed the door open, the cold fall air bit my cheeks and stole my breath away for a moment as the snowflakes fell in my hair and melted on my skin.
I made my way to the courtyard statue of the Ilvermorney founders as I focused on the grove beyond the archway at the entrance. I never made it that far, my knees giving out at the feet of Isolt Sayre and her No-Maj husband, James Steward with a gasping cry as I tried to cry.
The movement next to me was Angeli, who slid on her knees to throw her arms around my shoulders and pull me into a hug as a cry that I had been suppressing for days escaped my throat, echoing among the stones and lost to the rising winds of the mountain. I clutched Angeli's arm and wept in a way I never had before, all gasping cries and the taste of snot from the cold. Angeli's voice was the only thing I could hear between my gasps for air and pained cries.
Angeli rocked me back and forth in a way that was soothing and reminded me so much of my sister I began to bawl all over again.
"I'm here. It's alright. Everything will be okay."
She began to sing something in Spanish, it was soothing like a lullaby.
In the moments that followed, I began to collect myself. My tears stopped and Angeli's voice brought me back to the cold reality that we were sitting on the cold ground when we could have been inside having some hot chocolate.
"Feeling better?"
I nodded. Angeli's arms were still around me, her head pressed against mine until she was sure she could let me go. She did, before standing up and clearing the snow off the statue base with a flick of her wand, inviting me to sit with her. I was in no mood or state to be with other people and complied with her wishes.
"It's Audrey-" And the whole story came unbidden from me with the force of a storm. The fight my sister had had with our parents, the wayward brother I had no memory of that she had stated she was going to find, all while Angeli nodded and rubbed my back in soothing circles with wide eyes with each detail I uttered from the fight.
My mom had gone up to try and talk Audrey down only to have Audrey point her wand in her face and threaten her. That made Angeli gasp.
"I-I don't know what to do!" I sniffled. "This was supposed to be a nice dinner at home and-and…!" I sniffled loudly and could not finish. I wanted to see my sister again. I wanted her to come back and make up with dad, to say that she was wrong! But dad was wrong too. I remembered grabbing his arm as he went towards Audrey, a rage in his eyes I had never seen before at the mention of my mysterious older brother, a man who I had no real memories of. I wanted Audrey back, but I also didn't because it hurt and I was angry and dad said she was wrong to do what she did and-
"I'll be here if you ever want to talk about it," Angeli's voice rang through the chorus of confusion in my mind, bringing me back to reality and moving my attention to all of the snow in my hair. It was too cold to stay out here. I wiped my eyes again, half expecting them to be frozen."You can't control what other people do, but you can control your own response to it. If you want to be angry with your sister, go ahead. When you are ready to forgive her or talk to her again, I'll be with you every step of the way, no matter how long that takes, okay?"
I nodded slowly. "I hate her, but…"
"I know. Families are complicated. It'll all work out, Annie, I promise."
It was easier to focus on my numb fingers as I rolled the snow next to me in a ball. I couldn't feel my fingers any more but it didn't seem to matter.
"Want some hot chocolate?"
"Yes please."
Angeli looped her arm in mine with a smile as she guided me back into the castle.
I was not sure when my anger at Audrey would leave me. If it would be a permanent fixture in my life or if Angeli spoke the truth about maybe being ready to forgive her in time. I knew I would never forget that night, the look on my dad's face or my mom coming back downstairs weak and shaking after what Audrey had done. I knew the anger felt comfortable and safe and maybe that was what I needed after all of this drama.
Oo0Oo0
Author's Note: This is not even a week after the first chapter of One for Sorrow, so Annette's still very raw and very confused about everything. She'll settle on anger for a time, but rage does not burn forever.