All rights remain to the respective owner, LiaLuvPink19. I am posting the full story for the enjoyment of the viewers…Some content, characters names, and chapter names have been changed. Grammatical errors, if there are any, have been fixed; however I am not a professional. Please, be patient. It may be very porny, angsty, and full of suss. You have been warned. Welcome and hang on tight! Thank you! Enjoy!

Chapter 1: Goodbye Will and Sylvester

"We ask yourselves to wrap your arms around Meredith...Will's loving wife and his parents, Joe and Charlene. Wrap your arms around them and hold them close during this time of need and..." Meredith Grey never wanted to change her name; her husband was okay with that. She hadn't been the wife who wanted to be Mrs. William Collins. She had kept her last name and as she sat under a tent in the rain, staring at her husband's coffin, she thought. Maybe never changing her name was what caused Will to die? Am I being punished? Maybe I just wasn't meant to be a wife? Too many things ran through her head as she looked down at the black dress she was wearing. It was all so quick, it seemed like the only answer she could come up with was that she had done something.

She was the only one not crying. There wasn't a tear sliding down her thin face as she looked back up at the scene. Last Tuesday, the cop showed up at their house to say that Will had drowned. Meredith was numb… She stopped eating or sleeping, but she never cried.

The funeral and burial went quickly. The rain continued but the moment they had arrived at the home… where she lived with her husband, she went right up to her bedroom with their Dog, Sylvester. Sylvester showed tears once he realized that Will would never be home again. She kicked her shoes off and sat on the bed where her husband slept, reaching for his pillow as their dog came and climbed over her legs. "He's not coming home boy..." Meredith pushed her long hair behind her ears, ignoring the sound of her sister and best friend coming into the room. She wasn't ready to talk to anyone and she surely wasn't ready to be persuaded to move to Seattle. She knew that was coming. She swallowed the knot in her throat and rubbed the black and white fur behind her dog's ears. "Sylvester..."

"That was a beautiful service, Mer." Her sister sat down next to her, rubbing her back.

"I just forgot we're...I'm out of hand soap in my bathroom." Meredith said quickly, running her fingers through her dog's fur.

"I'll check the closet." Cristina stood up and disappeared from the room. They were trying to be as supportive as possible and that meant allowing Meredith to grieve in her own way.

"Is everybody eating downstairs?" Meredith and Will's parents had hired a caterer.

"Yeah." Lexie nodded. "They're all here for you."
"I don't want to go down there." Meredith admitted as Cristina came back into the room.

"We brought a plate of food up for you." Cristina pointed to the dresser. "You should eat something."

"I'm full." Meredith whispered. She felt so...different. She couldn't eat. She barely ate something since the day he died. While she had small meals here and there, the lack of sleep and eating was starting to show.

"You need your strength, Mer." Lexie breathed.

"I'm fine." Meredith flipped her hair to the other side.

"No you're not." Cristina groaned.

"I feel nauseous." Meredith said quickly.

"Let's get her in the bathroom." Lexie stood.

"I'm not going to puke yet."

"Just help her take the sweater off." Cristina stood.

"Have you given any more thought to what we talked about earlier?" Lexie asked as they helped Meredith who was staring straight ahead.

"What did we talk about?" Meredith asked quietly. Her mind was elsewhere, and nothing was really sticking. She couldn't remember much or maybe it was selective hearing.

"Coming back to Seattle with us."

"No."

"You can't be alone here…"

"I don't know...Sylvester loves it here and..." Meredith shook her head.

"And you have no friends or family here." Cristina added.

"I have a job."

"You can get another job in Seattle." Lexie handed her a bottle of water.

"Yeah..." Meredith looked down at her hands.

"It's the best thing for you, Mer."

"The best thing...for me right now..." Meredith said weakly as someone knocked on the door.

"Can I come in?" Will's mother opened the door slowly. Her face was tear stained and her clothes were wrinkled.

"Charlene." Meredith whispered, sitting up straight as Sylvester curled closer into her.

"Hi Sylvester." Charlene smiled weakly, patting her son's dog on the head.

"I put the pictures from the memorial on the guest room bed." Meredith whispered as Lexie sat next to her and Cristina sat down on the nearby window seat. "His old Softball Uniform is in the den."

"Thank you." She whimpered.

"You're welcome." Meredith bit her lip, looking down as her eyes burned slightly. She couldn't look at the older woman...not in the eye because they looked...so sad or something. The woman had aged ten years the past few days.

"There is a ton of food downstairs. I wish you'd eat something."

"Yeah you look like you're about to collapse." Cristina stood.

"Meredith can't eat...I've been eating out of mourning." The older woman murmured, wiping away tears. "It's okay to eat dear."

"I'm fine." Meredith said quickly, looking up again and giving everyone a perfect view of how weak she looked.

"Meredith..." Lexie swallowed her own tears as she looked at her sister and the dog yelped.

"Oh Sylvester…" Charlene cried quietly.

"He knows something changed." Lexie said quietly.

"Mrs. Collins, can I get you anything?" Cristina offered.

"No." The woman whimpered, crying again as she pet the dogs soft black and white fur. "Oh Sylvester."

"He um...Will loved him." Meredith whispered, watching as the old woman moved to rest her head on the dog's body. She began to cry again, and Meredith just stared at her weakly, swallowing the knot in her throat again as she watched the pain the woman was carrying. Meredith knew she needed to be strong and that she needed to do something. She needed to help. "You should keep him."

"What?" Mrs. Collins cried.

"You should keep Sylvester." Meredith whispered, a small gasp escaping in her voice but she just took a deep breath to hold it in.

"I don't..."

"He's the last part of Will and...he would want you to have him." Meredith said, feeling ill again.

"Oh...thank you." Will's mom hugged Meredith, crying into her shoulder.

"Mmm...you're welcome." Meredith breathed, staring blankly at the wall as the woman squeezed her.

"I should um...get downstairs and check on my husband."

"Yeah...no I get it." Meredith nodded.

"Come down when you're ready."

"I'll try." Meredith nodded.

"Okay." Mrs. Collins managed the best smile she could, hugging Meredith and patting the dog one more time before she got up and left the bedroom. They could hear her crying as she walked back down the hallway.

"Well..." Meredith slid off the bed, leaning over to kiss Sylvester before walking slowly over to her closet. She ignored the dizzy feeling as she opened the closet doors.

"I can't believe she gave up the dog." Cristina whispered to Lexie.

"It was the right thing." Meredith could hear them speaking as she reached for a few sweaters. "Lexie my suitcase is under the bed."

"Oh..." Lexie hurried and pulled the large black rolling suitcase out from the bed.

"Cristina..." Meredith stumbled slightly into the closet.

"What do you need?"

"A trashcan." She almost whimpered as she shook her head, and her hands shook.

"Are you going to be sick?" Cristina hurried to grab the waste basket in the bedroom.

"Yes." Meredith nodded, sliding onto the floor as her legs collapsed beneath her.

"Meredith!" Lexie rushed to her sister's side.

"I'm going to be sick."

"Trash can." Cristina pulled the trash can up to Meredith.

"She's not okay." Lexie said quickly as Meredith began to get sick into the trashcan.

"No she's not." Cristina sighed.

"I..." Meredith emptied her stomach as Lexie rubbed her back.

"Come home with us." Her sister whispered.

"Okay." Meredith agreed suddenly, leaning into her sister in a way she had never done before. Maybe she was just weak because she didn't have any energy, but Lexie wrapped her arms around her, stroking her hair.

"We'll take care of you."

"He's not coming back…" Meredith whispered and sobbed.

"I'm sorry…."

"Meredith, we'll get you to Seattle and we'll help you get back on track." Cristina said, looking at Lexie with obvious concern in her eyes.

"You're going to be okay."

"Yeah..." Meredith whispered, pushing her hair back.

"We'll get your things together." Lexie nodded.

"When can we leave?" Meredith asked as Sylvester hopped off of the bed and came to rest his head on her lap, obviously looking upset.

"Whenever you're ready."

"Just...soon please." Meredith gasped again, tears still not falling as she pet the dog. She bought him a few years ago with Will on a trip to Connecticut. She remembered the day they had picked him out, fighting over whether or not they wanted to get a boy or a girl.

"Cristina...do you want to take care of the flight? I'll pack enough stuff for a week. We can have the rest shipped."

"Yeah and I'll call Owen and have him clear out the extra room and make a bed." Cristina reached for her phone.

"We're going to take care of everything." Lexie assured her older sister. "Don't worry about a thing."

"I can pack." Meredith said quickly.

"You just rest."

"I can..." Meredith stroked Sylvester's head as Cristina walked out of the room once Owen picked up.

"Is there anything you don't want?" Lexie asked.

"I don't know."

"Okay um...anything that we forget...we can ship or just buy when we get to Seattle." Her sister nodded, started to toss things into the suitcase.

"I have to pack Sylvester's things."

"Are you sure you're up to that?"

"He needs Joe and Charlene...they need him." Meredith's eyes turned red again as she tried to stand.

"We have three seats on a flight first thing in the morning." Cristina came back into the room.

"Thank you." Meredith nodded.

"I'm just glad you're finally coming home."

"I bet." Meredith laughed harshly.

"Even though I'm sure if Hopkins had heard I was here they would have had made me their super star..." Cristina stopped when she saw Lexie glaring at her. "What?"

"We're helping Meredith, not getting jobs. We need to get her ready to leave tomorrow. She needs to try and eat...and sleep." Lexie suggested.

"I am helping."

"I'm going to take a nap." Meredith said quickly, cringing as they even debated for a moment.

"Okay." Lexie answered quickly. "If you need anything, you know where we'll be."

"Leave Sylvester in here." Meredith replied, crawling into the bed.

"Will you eat something when you wake up?"

'We'll talk about that when I wake up." Meredith pulled the blankets over her legs as the dog climbed right next to her.

"Alright." Lexie sighed, gesturing to Cristina for them to leave the bedroom.

"Thank you." Meredith whispered.

"You're welcome."

"Come here Sylvester." Meredith pressed a kiss into her dog's fur as the door closed to the bedroom. The next morning, she would be leaving Maryland, Sylvester, and the life she had once had. The life she had that had ended abruptly when her husband had suddenly died. She wasn't one to cry and right now she didn't feel an urge to cry, but a part of her felt like it was going to come. At some point she would cry, and she wasn't sure she would be able to stop. She was losing control and control was not something Meredith Grey wanted to ever give up. Even if her world was crumbling down on top of her. That was the reason, she needed to leave Maryland quickly. There was nothing left for her.