Chapter 2: Seattle and Therapists

Meredith Grey had been in Seattle for a month and two days. It was just as rainy as she remembered, and she hadn't gone outside much. She wasn't depressed...she just felt empty and that meant not leaving the house unless she had to. She went to the store and for a few walks when Cristina was working at the hospital, but she didn't leave much. It was Lexie's idea that she starts seeing a therapist. After much objection, Meredith finally agreed. Lexie had pretty much taken over. She found the therapist and made sure it was one in the hospital so that Meredith could see Lexie on a lunch break. Meredith would have been content going back to Cristina and Owen's apartment, but she was humoring Lexie and maybe it was good for her. Maybe it was good that she started moving forward. She needed to get back to reality and that was something she was struggling with right now.

"It's good to see you again, Meredith." The doctor sat across from her in the brightly lit office.

"Nice to see you too." Meredith smiled weakly.

"How have you been since our last session?"

"I've been fine." Meredith answered. She always used that as a response when people asked how she was doing. She kind of hated the question.

"Have you started looking for a job?" The doctor made a note on Meredith's papers.

"I'm going to start looking this week." Meredith nodded. "I'm a speech therapist."

"I see that on your paperwork."

"There's a lot on my paperwork." Meredith nodded.

"What about your husband? What did he do?"

"An accountant." Meredith's fingers moved along the arm of the couch as she stared down at the paisley fabric.

"You two sound like you were quite the power couple."

"I um...we were normal."

"How did you meet?"

"Grocery store." Meredith answered.

"Tell me about that."

"What about it?" Meredith shrugged. "Frozen food aisle...we don't cook. We didn't cook."

"Was it love at first sight?" The therapist asked.

"No." Meredith swallowed heavily. "Next question."

"Why does that make you uncomfortable?"

"I'm not."

"I see here that you met him in Seattle...why did you move away?"

"He wanted to join his brother out in Maryland. His whole family is there, and they own a business where they are all accountants...busy at tax season and...next question."

"Were you forced into the move?"

"I didn't have a reason to stay here...or at least a good enough one to stay." Meredith shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

"I see."

"What's next?"

"Why don't you tell me what happened to him?" The therapist looked straight at Meredith.

"To Will? You want to know how he..." Meredith stopped.

"Yes."

"How he died..." Meredith pulled at the fabric on the couch as she stared up at the blue fish tank. "He um..."

"Take your time."

"We both had the day off and then I was going to run to the store to get a pizza. He wanted to go fishing." Meredith spoke slowly. "I went and I came back. He wasn't there and then it got dark...it got late, and he wasn't answering his phone, so I called his brother...then his dad..."

"Uh huh..."

"We called the cops...there were divers and that evening a cop came to my door...said they found his um...his..."

"I know this is hard."

"He had gone fishing...taken the boat out and he...they said he had been drinking and must have bent over to do something and he fell in. He drowned." Meredith explained, watching as several fish swam around the tank.

"When was the last time you saw him?"

"Right before I left to go to the store."

"Do you remember what you said to him?"

"I don't know." Meredith shook her head, running her fingers through her long waves. "I don't remember, Dr. Wyatt."

"Did you tell him you loved him?"

"I don't remember."

"What else do you remember?" Dr. Wyatt encouraged.

"I went out to the car...realized I didn't have my keys..."

"And then?"

"I ran back inside and..."

"Hmm?"

"I don't remember." Meredith shrugged.

"Okay." Dr. Wyatt sighed.

"Next..."

"I'm here to listen to you."

"Yeah..." Meredith shifted uncomfortably as she looked away from the fish tank.

"Are you sleeping?"

"Perfectly fine." Meredith lied.

"Are you sure?"

"Have you ever had good apple pie?" Meredith asked as she suddenly looked Dr. Wyatt in the eye.

"Excuse me?"

"I sit in Cristina's apartment all day and I was watching some cooking show the other day and the pie just...it looked good."

"I would like to see you again in a few days."

"That's all?" Meredith frowned.

"Is that a problem?" Dr. Wyatt closed her file.

"No I just...its perfectly fine." Meredith said, reaching for her bag.

"Then I'll see you Thursday."

"Thursday." Meredith stood, feeling emptier than before.

"Take care of yourself."

"I always do." Meredith sighed, walking towards the door.

"You can always call me if you need to speak to me before our next appointment." Dr. Wyatt stood up.

"I have to meet Lexie for lunch." Meredith said, turning and quickly stepping outside of the door. She hated the empty feeling in her stomach, but everyone knew she wasn't much of a talker, so she wasn't sure what they expected. All Meredith knew was that she was going to paint a smile on her face for Lexie. She would tell her sister that therapy was helping even if Lexie knew that was a lie. Lies were all that seemed to help right now.