Chapter 4: Not Listening to Her

Meredith watched as Lexie and Cristina paced in front of her as she sat on the cold exam room table with an IV in her arm just to hydrate herself. It had been an hour since she had nearly passed out in the hospital cafeteria and a man named Dr. Shepherd had helped her out and called Lexie. It turns out that Dr. Shepherd was the best friend of Dr. Mark Sloan and Dr. Sloan was Lexie's boyfriend. It was a humiliating way to meet her sister's boyfriend, but Meredith knew that was the least of the problems. The biggest problem was her sister and best friend arguing and pacing in front of her as if she couldn't hear them. She could hear and she knew she was a mess, but she was fine. She was trying and now she needed them to stop talking like someone who was going crazy. "Lexie..."

"Derek said she could hardly stand up." Lexie said to Cristina, turning away from Meredith.

"She barely eats anything." Cristina snapped right back.

"I drink coffee." Meredith piped up.

"Or drinks anything." Lexie added.

"Coffee..." Meredith said again.

"I can't believe you thought it was a good idea to leave her alone." Lexie shook her head. "She's obviously not ready for that."

"Can someone take the IV out?" Meredith groaned. They were acting like she wasn't even there and that she wasn't capable of taking care of herself.

"No." Lexie answered her, turning back to Cristina.

"Well look at her...she's not eating, and she's dehydrated. It's been a month and we can't leave her alone if she's going to go off of the deep end." Cristina snapped.

"I'm not going to go off of the deep end." Meredith whispered, looking down at the watch her husband had gotten for her on her last birthday.

"We need to do something." Lexie sighed.

"Take the IV out." Meredith groaned as Lexie paced.

"Maybe she needs to go somewhere." Lexie whispered.

"Go where?" Meredith frowned.

"Where do you suggest she go?" Cristina snapped.

"Well therapy obviously isn't working..."

"Then what the hell are we supposed to do?" Cristina asked as she stepped forward. "She doesn't eat...she doesn't sleep...she sits in my apartment all day reading...she goes on walks but that...we have to fix her!"

"I go to Starbucks." Meredith whispered.

"What about the psych ward?" Lexie whispered.

"What?" Cristina gasped as Meredith's shoulders dropped.

"I don't know what else we can do!"

"You want to have her committed? You want to put her in the hospital, and you think that is going to just miraculously make her better?" Cristina shouted as she pointed at Meredith. "Look at her! How would that possibly help?"

"Stop it!" Owen Hunt opened the door to the exam room, closing it quickly behind him. "Both you just...shut up."

"What?" Cristina put a hand on her hip.

"You heard me. Shut up."

"I don't need to be committed." Meredith looked down at her fingers.

"No...she doesn't. She just needs her friend and sister to be supportive and stop arguing in the middle of the hospital."

"Owen." Lexie shook her head quickly. "Look at her."

"I see her."

"What the hell are we supposed to do?" Lexie asked, looking panicked. "She doesn't sleep...she barely eats..."

"I told you I drink coffee..." Meredith said as she rolled her eyes. "Can you take the IV out Owen?"

"Once it's done." Owen checked the IV bag.

"She's going to need another one." Cristina added.

"We can get her hydrated at home." Owen replied.

"Thank you." Meredith whispered, looking up at Owen as he reached into his pocket.

"Have either of you considered what she wants?" Owen asked Lexie and Cristina.

"She barely talks." Cristina answered.

"She lost her husband."

"We know." Lexie replied calmly.

"Then have some patience and let her grieve."

"I'm fine." Meredith tried to speak up.

"First thing we're going to do is get her home and let her get some sleep." Owen suggested.

"She needs to eat more than chips." Cristina argued.

"One step at a time Cristina."

"Maybe Psych should at least do a consult...see what they think." Lexie suggested.

"You know that Wyatt is better than any of the doctors they have up there."

"Can we just leave?" Meredith asked, pulling at the IV needle on her hand.

"Let's get her home." Owen nodded.

"She needs to eat!" Lexie groaned.

"Then, I'll make her something."

"Owen..." Cristina started.

"No. This is about her...your friend...your sister. Stop thinking about yourself and who's going to stay with her and what you are going to do...think about what is best for her."

"Then let's take her home." Lexie sighed.

"If neither of you can make a decision, I'll stay with her." Owen said, starting to remove the IV from Meredith's arm.
"I'm off...I'll stay with her." Lexie stepped forward. "She can hang out at my place for a change of scenery."

"Okay then."

"I drove here." Meredith spoke up. "I can drive home...I need...I'm out of shampoo..."

"She almost passed out. She's not driving home." Cristina objected.

"I'll drive her home if you or Cristina will drive my car back." Lexie volunteered.

"Is that okay with you Meredith?" Owen asked.

"Yeah." Meredith looked up at the empty IV bag.

"Good."

"Well...I have to go get changed." Lexie walked towards the door. "I'll be right back..."

"Okay." Meredith nodded.

"I'll bring her downstairs to wait for you to pull the car around." Cristina sighed.

"I don't need an escort." Meredith sighed.

"I'll see you downstairs." Lexie opened the door as Derek walked up to the exam room.

"What are you doing here McDreamy?" Cristina looked at him strangely.

"I just wanted to see how she was doing."

"We gave her an IV to get her some fluids." Owen explained. "Cristina...can I talk to you outside."

"I can't really leave her." Cristina said quickly.

"I'm fine." Meredith said quickly, wondering if Cristina would even hear her. It seemed like they just talked over her.

"I'll stay with her." Derek offered, holding the exam room door open.

"Uh...fine." Cristina dropped her arms. She looked at her friend before walking towards the door. "Call me if you need me Mer."

"I will." Meredith stared blankly towards the window. She bit her lip, debating whether or not she was going to lose it yet.

"I got you some chips." Derek held up a small plastic bag as Owen and Cristina left the room and the door shut behind them.

"I'm sorry...I'm just not hungry right now." Meredith whispered.

"For the road." He put them down on the exam table.

"I don't feel sorry for myself. I'm not feeling sorry...I'm not pathetic or...I'm not sitting around and feeling sorry for myself."

"I didn't think you were."

"Hmm." Meredith nodded, looking over at the cotton swabs sitting on the countertop.

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"I'm fantastic."

"And very convincing."

"You think?" Meredith finally looked over at him, revealing the even darker circles around her eyes.

"No. But it was a good try." Derek laughed.

"I want a cheeseburger."

"Joe's."

"I'm sorry?" She breathed.

"Across the street. They have the best burgers."

"I can't remember the last time I had a cheeseburger...I can't eat it though so..."

"You're hungry for it. That's a start." Derek smiled.

"I was hungry for pizza the other day...didn't work so well."

"Mer..." Cristina opened the door to the exam room. "Car's downstairs."

"Okay." Meredith stood, looking away from Derek. She wanted to get home...fall asleep or something.

"She wants a cheeseburger." Derek walked past Cristina. "Take care, Meredith."

"Thanks." Meredith whispered.

"Are you ready to go?" Cristina asked, grabbing Meredith's coat.

"Yeah." She stood slowly.

"Next time you decide to almost pass out...at least do it at home."

"I'll work on that." Meredith rolled her eyes.

"Come on."

"Coming." Meredith reached for her bag as they left the small exam room. It was...she wasn't sure how to explain how she felt. She was angry...down and...she didn't know. Everyone talked as if she wasn't there and since she was struggling, they acted like she was incapable of making choices for herself. A burger sounded good...but she knew she couldn't handle it. It wasn't that she couldn't eat it was that she couldn't handle anything. She needed to snap out of it because she needed Cristina and Lexie to stop acting like she wasn't a human.

Does anyone else think that something is going on here other than grieving? I think Meredith is sick or something...