Chapter 11: What About the Trailer?

"When Charlene...Will's Mom came, she was really upset, hugging the dog… Meredith gave him up. She just gave him up, it was like the last bit of life she had, drifted away." Lexie explained to Derek as Mark rubbed her back. Derek was over watching a movie with them, but Meredith had stayed in the guest room the whole night. "She barely said anything since yesterday."

"That's my fault." Derek sighed, taking a sip of the beer Mark had gotten him earlier in the night.

"How do you figure that?" Mark asked.

"I showed her Cash's picture."

"I just think it's time...for her to go to a hospital." Lexie said, looking scared for her sister.

"No." Derek said quickly, shaking his head.

"She's in bad shape...right Mark?" Lexie frowned.

"I gotta go with Lexie on this."

"She wakes up screaming every night...sweats and all." Lexie shook her head. "It's time to have her committed. Psych will make sure she gets sleep and then she'll be more sensible."

"They'll do it by drugging her out of her mind." Derek argued.

"She's a danger to herself at this point." Mark argued back.

"She's not going to hurt herself."

"But she's making herself sick." Lexie replied.

"I don't disagree that she needs help… However, I don't think having her put in the psych ward is going to do anything positive."

"What else am I supposed to do? Lexie asked.

"Let me help."

"You barely know her." Mark replied, reaching for his beer. "How can you help her?"

"She needs time...some place to clear her head and think."

"She needs sleep and to gain weight." Mark groaned.

"She can do that in the hospital under doctors' supervision." Lexie added.

"We're all doctors." Derek groaned, putting his beer down. "Admitting her to psych is going to do more harm than good."

"Then what the hell do you want her to do?" Mark pointed to Lexie.

"I want to bring her to the trailer."

"The trailer?" Lexie frowned.

"I think being away from everything would help."

"You don't want to send her to a hospital, but you think we should send her alone into the woods?" Lexie looked at him strangely.

"I'd be there." Derek looked towards her bedroom.

"I..." Lexie stopped, looking over at the door and lowering her voice. "She probably won't even agree to that."

"Maybe not." He answered, not wanting to tell them she asked for his help the other day. "Maybe she will."

"If you can convince her that it's a good idea to try...then that's okay." Lexie leaned back into the couch. "She's a grown woman… if that's what she wants to do, okay."

"What if she doesn't?" Derek asked.

"Then we have no choice." Mark answered for her.

"Yeah." Lexie shrugged as she looked over at the door again.

"She can come stay with me...she can have her own space. I'll be around to make sure she's okay."

"Then ask her." Lexie shrugged, reaching for her own drink.

"I will." He sighed, standing up from the sofa and walking down the short hallway. He stood there for a few seconds before knocking.

"Come in." He heard her say over the sound of the television.

"Hey..." Derek breathed, opening the door.

"Hi." She breathed, before looking back to the television. She was watching a Friday night news special on men who stalked young girls.

"Do you want to ...come watch a movie?"

"Not really." Meredith replied. "This is kind of interesting."

"Hmm..."

"I dropped my resume off at that office you told me about." Meredith replied, her hair laying over her shoulder.

"They were looking forward to you coming in." Derek nodded.

"I normally go out but tonight...I'm really into this special."

"I'm sorry about the other day."

"You don't have a reason to be sorry."

"I do..."

"No you don't." Meredith turned the sound down on the television as she adjusted the navy off the shoulder sweatshirt she was wearing.

"Lexie told me about Sylvester."

"Oh." Meredith said, still staring blankly at the television.

"I'm sorry." Derek repeated, moving closer to the bed.

"It's been almost three months... I'm okay."

"That's why I'm here."

"My dogs not dead, so don't worry about it."

"No...not about the dog."

"Then what about." She almost groaned.

"Helping you."

"Ooh..."

"You asked me...You came to me and asked for help."

"Funny how that happens."

"I'm not going to push you into anything. But you asked me for help." Derek sighed, standing next to her bed. "If you want me to...I'll walk away."

"Fine."

"Fine what?"

"Fine help me or whatever."

"Okay." He smiled.

"Will you hand me my lotion?" Meredith pointed to the dresser.

"Yeah." Derek picked up the purple bottle and handed it to her.

"Thanks."

"Yeah."

"Anything else I can get for you?" She looked up at him strangely as she put some lotion in her hands.

"No."

"Okay."

"But you can do something for yourself."

"What?"

"Pack a bag."

"What?" She repeated herself.

"Pack a bag for a few nights."

"I'm going to have a tough time doing what you say if you don't tell me where I'm going." Meredith replied to him and then suddenly her eyes went wide, and she stood right up on the bed. "You said I wouldn't have to be admitted!"

"No...no. You're not going to the hospital."

"Then where am I going?"

"With me."

"Where Derek?"

"I have some land."

"Okay your solution shouldn't be taking me to your land to kill me… I'll be dead and I won't have to deal with my crappy life." Meredith groaned.

"Meredith, I'm not going to kill you." Derek couldn't help but laugh.

"Would you tell me if you were going to kill me?"

"Have you ever heard of do no harm?" He laughed.

"I'll take that as a no."

"Fresh air...and space."

"Fresh air and space?"

"It'll be good for you."

"I'm not in the mood for camping."

"We're not going camping."

"But..." Meredith frowned, looking at him with curious eyes.

"You're a terrible patient." Derek laughed, shaking his head.

"Fine." Meredith groaned. "What do you have in mind...doctor?"

"Some time away from Lexie and Cristina...out in the fresh air. We can get your sleep cycle back on track."

"I don't want to invade your space." Meredith said quickly.

"There's plenty of space."

"In your house?"

"My house...my land...my trailer."

"I...and you think this will help?"

"I wouldn't be doing it if I didn't think it would help."

"Um..." Meredith bit her lip as she looked at the tv to think for a moment. She had gone to Derek for help, and he was here ready to help her. Maybe he was right. Maybe she did need the space. "Okay."

"Take your time and pack your stuff."

"Okay..." Meredith climbed up from the bed.

"I promised to help you and I will." Derek breathed.

"I know." She whispered. He was right. He had promised. "Will you help me grab my things?"

"Sure." He nodded.

"I just... I have a suitcase in the closet."

"I'll get it for you."

"I'm glad you said yes."

"I don't know much of what I am doing right now so...don't be surprised." She replied as tossed a few things into her bag.

"You should probably know that if you hadn't said yes... Lexie and Mark were going to put you in the hospital."

"They...oh."

"So... good choice."

"Seems so." Meredith said quickly as she tossed a few more things into the suitcase.

"I um...if you want, I can give the dog to them while you're with me."

"No..." Meredith shook her head. "That's silly."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah." Meredith nodded. It wasn't that she couldn't look at dogs. It was just that in that moment when he had showed her the picture of Cash, she realized that Sylvester wasn't hers anymore.

"Okay." Derek sighed."

"I..." Meredith felt hot suddenly. She became clammy as she stood for too long.

"Sit down." Derek breathed, holding her arm as he helped her back onto the bed.

"I just get nauseous sometimes." Meredith tried to breathe in and out through her nose.

"It's going to get better."

"No..." She shook her head quickly as she sat on the edge of the bed, her eyes watering.

"I promise you it will." He kneeled in front of her, taking her hands. "I'm going to make sure of it."

"I need it to all to stop. For one minute I need this all to not exist..."

"Well that hasn't worked."

"I did my research."

"Yeah?" She murmured, tears still threatening to fall.

"Yeah." Derek smiled, still holding onto her hands.

"And?"

"You're going to get some sleep."

"Okay..." Meredith nodded.

"Is there anything else you want to pack?"

"Just the stuff on top of the dresser...my sweats."

"I'll grab it."

"Okay." Meredith nodded.

"It's going to be okay." Derek repeated.

"Okay." She said as Derek looked over to find her head down and her hair in her face. She was in a dark place, and it was all very clear right now.

"Meredith." He walked back over and without any hesitance, put his arms around her. "It's going to be okay."

"That's what everybody says...everyone says it."

"I know...I've heard it myself."

"Do you want me to go with you or not?" She pulled away, standing up and swaying a little as she caught her balance.

"I'll let Mark and Lexie know."

"Thank you." She groaned a little, trying to pull herself together. She didn't want anyone to feel sorry for her but escaping sounded like a better idea.

"Don't thank me yet."

"Fine then."

"I'll come in and get your suitcase when you're ready." Derek nodded, going to the door.

"Okay." Meredith breathed.

"Okay." Derek sighed, leaving her bedroom to let her finish packing her things. It was even more clear to him now how much trouble she was in and how hurt she was. He was going to take her out to his land, to the fresh air, and the view. Derek hoped that being out there would help her get her mind off everything get her back to her real self.