These are in order of death, so Alexa and Starling are both from the 28th Games.
Starling Heights- District Ten female
So many Tributes were afraid of what they would become, or what their families would think of them if they won. I didn't care what I had to become in order to get back to my brother. And Ellsworth wouldn't think different of me no matter what I did.
My first kill was the boy from Nine. I hadn't made any allies in the Capitol, though I'd tried. No one wanted to ally with a girl who had just about no skills. I managed to convince him in the Arena because I grabbed a backpack in the Bloodbath. He'd grabbed a bottle of iodine and some night vision goggles, two things I desperately needed. Together, we had enough to make it a long way. What he didn't know was that I'd also grabbed a knife at the Bloodbath. As we bent over the backpack I'd just emptied, I stabbed him in the throat. Then I had my things and his, and there was one fewer person to compete with me. I didn't feel good about myself as I walked away from him lying on the grass staining it red. I tried to think of it like Ellsworth would have. Just another number- another person he didn't even know he was supposed to care about.
My second kill was as much luck as anything else. I never would have been able to kill Farlan if he hadn't already been sick. Whatever happened to him would have killed him anyway. I wouldn't even have attacked him, but he came after me. I thought at first he was rabid from the erratic way he was acting, lurching and saying nonsense words. But I'd seen rabies in cows, and this wasn't it. Whatever it was, it left him strong enough to nearly kill me. It was only because he stumbled and couldn't orient himself for a minute that I was able to stab him to death. I didn't wait around to make sure he was dead. I ran as soon as he was down. I didn't hear his cannon until hours later. It made me ill to imagine him slowly bleeding out or slipping into shock. No one deserved that, not even a mad dog.
I hated myself for wishing the Games would be over sooner. I wanted children to die faster, and not even for a noble reason like they had to die anyway and I wanted to get it over with. Every hour that passed, I thought of how much Ellsworth would be melting down back home. He couldn't even bear it if I cut his sandwich vertically instead of diagonally. A change like this would destroy every bit of progress he'd made. He was already lost, and he'd never be the same. It didn't even matter if I got back, and yet I was still trying. I still did horrible things for a future that was already gone.
The last Tribute left with me was Mei. If it had been someone stronger or a Career, if I won, it would be hard-fought and deserved. If it was someone like Sojourner, I could at least have made it easy. Mei was just strong enough to fight and have a chance, and just weak enough that I could kill her. When we met, it wasn't over quickly. It wasn't easy to stab someone to death. It took either a lucky shot, or a whole lot of unlucky ones. I had to hold her down with both my knees on her shoulders, sticking the life out of her while she cried and waved her arms and begged me to stop. It sounded just like how the Careers' victims always did. Unlike them, I didn't feel anything good at all when her head fell back and her open eyes went blank. When I stood, I almost slipped on her blood.
Ellsworth recognized me when I got back. It was more than I expected, since the Capitol had augmented my chest and applied permanent mascara to my eyes, among other things. I was terrified I'd gone through all that and he wouldn't even know me. If that had happened, I probably would have killed myself. But he did, and I clung to that little island or morality in everything I'd done. With my winnings, I could afford to send him to the best doctors in Panem and pay for daily tailored therapy. It would never make him normal, but it could help him live more independently. And for the first time in my life, I could relax a little. Even before the Games, Ellsworth took up my entire life. No one wanted to admit how shattering it was to take care of a disabled person. Even with all the help I could hire, he would always be my burden, though I didn't love him any less for it.
Ellsworth always loved the Games. He didn't understand the violence and evil. He just loved to watch them over and over and memorize everything. He was enthralled when he saw the footage of mine. Like always, he never got bored. Every day for months he watched that tape. I just wished that when I killed someone, he didn't clap.