Chapter 19: First Day of Work
Derek Shepherd was excited. Not for himself, but for Meredith. It was her first day of work. He was glad that she was finally doing something for herself. She was doing something that would help her get out of the haze that she was living in. She was definitely better then when he first met her, but she still had a ways to go. Derek really believed that this would help her. Just like everyone else on their first day of work, he could tell she was nervous. He was sitting in the trailer, and Meredith came out of the bedroom three times before finally deciding on an outfit. Now, she was standing in the small bathroom in front of him, fixing her hair and makeup, fiddling with everything in front of her.
Meredith finally decided on a black skirt and a button down top. She looked...great! Still tired and worn out but she definitely looked the part of her new job, and Derek couldn't stop looking at her. He stood up for a moment and poured himself another cup of coffee, trying to tell himself that he needed to stop looking at her like this. It was her first day of work and he just needed to be supportive of her…
"Do you want more coffee?" Derek asked, holding his mug in his hand as he stood next to the bathroom.
"No thank you." Meredith reached for the curling iron, nearly burning her index finger. "Damn it!"
"Careful." Derek tried not to laugh, taking a sip of his coffee.
"This is why I never use these damn things."
"You don't need to do anything else. You look...gorgeous."
"My hair is flat." Meredith ran her fingers through her hair, before turning around and looking at the back of her skirt in the mirror. "Everything is too big."
"No it's not..." Derek breathed, looking down at her ass before he looked back up quickly.
"Yes, it is…"
"It's fine."
"My clothes are too big."
"Meredith..." Derek laughed. "You look great."
"You have to say that..." Meredith replied, reaching for the mascara.
"No I don't."
"Well, either way..."
"What?"
"Nothing." She sighed, staring into the mirror.
"It's okay to be nervous."
"Not nervous." She lied.
"Hmm."
"Will you latch the back of my skirt?" She asked.
"Oh...um...sure."
"It's tricky..." She said as he moved behind her.
"I'll get it." Derek breathed, pulling the skirt together and hooking it and then putting his hand on her waist as he did the zipper. "There..."
"Thanks."
"Yeah..." He pulled his hands away quickly and stepped back into the kitchen, shaking his head.
"When do you get off tonight?"
"Six."
"Okay."
"Do you want to have lunch...with me?"
"Sure..." She said, running her fingers through her hair again, trying to style it. The hospital was so close to the office. It would be nice to have lunch with someone familiar.
"I'll come meet you." He nodded.
"Okay."
"You're going to do great."
"Except I feel like I might hurl." Meredith moved a hand over her stomach.
"Because your nervous." Derek laughed.
"I am not."
"Okay..." He smirked.
"I'm not!" She insisted.
"Okay."
"I'm just...always the same."
"Today is going to be better."
"One would hope."
"I think it will." He smiled.
"Is Cash going to be okay alone?" Meredith asked.
"He'll be fine. Mark is going to come over and let him out."
"I'm pretty sure he passed gas in my bed last night." Meredith winced.
"That's...disgusting." Derek started to laugh, putting down his empty coffee cup.
"I know." She said, messing with her top again.
"Mer...stop."
"What?"
"Look at me."
"What?" Meredith groaned.
"Derek..." Meredith laughed weakly, rolling her eyes as he moved her arms back and forth.
"Why are you shaking me?"
"I'm trying to get you to relax."
"I see." Meredith looked up at him.
"Did it work?"
"A little..."
"Good." Derek breathed.
"You're in a silly mood today."
"I'm fine."
"Okay." She smiled, turning back to the mirror.
"I think." He whispered to himself as he watched her tug on her clothes again.
"Damn it..." She groaned, dropping the brush onto the floor.
"Okay...outside."
"Derek...they could take one look at me this morning and decide they made a huge mistake by hiring a mental mess." Meredith gasped as he unplugged her hair dryer and curling iron.
"You are not mental or a mess." Derek took her hand and let her onto the porch of the trailer.
"Plus...yet again I didn't sleep last night...I'll probably permanently damage someone's speech!"
"I doubt you'll be seeing patients today."
"No but..."
"But what?"
"Oh...I don't know."
"Exactly."
"I could still mess it up." Meredith replied, sitting down on the front porch.
"You won't."
"I just...I don't know." Meredith ran her hands through her hair.
"Don't be so hard on yourself."
"I'm not hard on myself." Meredith explained.
"Thank you." Meredith looked over at him.
"Hmm."
"I should go grab my things." Meredith stood.
"You don't want to be late."
"Probably a bad idea for the first day."
"Yeah." Derek chuckled.
"I'll be back." Meredith replied, walking towards the door of the trailer, leaving him there.
"Okay." He breathed, sitting back in the chair, closing his eyes, and taking a deep breath. This wasn't okay. He wasn't supposed to be looking at her like this. He was her doctor… he was supposed to be helping her. He wasn't supposed to be attracted to her. He ran his hands over his face as he heard noises inside the trailer… then, she came back out with her bag over her shoulder, a smile forced on her face, and he just laughed.
"I'm making an effort!"
"I know." Derek smiled, standing up.
"So stop looking at me like a kid on the first day of school."
"I could grab my camera...get the full experience." He teased.
"I would kill you." She reminded him.
"Good to know."
"Thought so."
"You look nice."
"Yeah." Meredith rolled her eyes.
"You do." Derek breathed.
"My hair is flat, I have split ends, my clothes are..."
"Loose and you look mental?"
"Yeah." She frowned, stepping back as he finished her sentence.
"Your hair looks fine, your clothes fit fine, and you don't look mental."
"You just said I was mental and my clothes were loose!"
"I was predicting what you were going to say."
"I'm going to be late."
"Let's go."
"I can drive myself...you can drive your car."
"Okay..."
"It will look like my Dad is dropping me off…."
"I'll come pick you up for lunch at one."
"Okay." Meredith pulled her keys from her purse.
"Good luck."
"Thanks."
"I'll see you later."
"Yeah..." Meredith backed away, turning when she reached her car.
"Hey..." Derek called.
"Yeah?" Meredith breathed.
"Call me if you need me."
"I'll be fine." She rolled her eyes, before getting into the car.
"I know you will...but what about me?" Derek sighed as she started the car and backed away from the trailer. Today was a big day for her. He was looking forward to lunch with her and hearing how her day was going, but until then he needed to stop thinking about her. He needed to stop thinking about how beautiful she looked dressed for work and how cute she was as she fixed her clothes over and over. Today was her day.