Chapter 21: Spending Time Together
Derek Shepherd didn't know what to think. He was confused, that was for sure. As he held a glass of wine in his hand and watched Meredith pet Cash, he didn't know what to do. She still had her work clothes on but had taken off her sweater, she looked amazing. She was relaxed and easy and Derek felt like he was starting to get to know the real Meredith. Regardless, Mark was right, she was a widow, and he couldn't do anything about the way he was feeling. He needed to stop watching her and stop thinking about her.
"Cash..." Meredith giggled, petting the dog behind his ears, before looking over at Derek. "I should get him a collar with dollar signs. Is that cheap?"
"No...that would be cute." Derek laughed, sitting on the sofa.
"Cristina would think it's silly." Meredith whispered as she watched Cash curl up on the floor.
"He needs some new toys."
"I know...my scarf is his new toy."
"Then, you'll need a new scarf too."
"I have plenty of scarves."
"I'll get you a new one." Derek breathed.
"You don't have to...it's my fault for spoiling him."
"Hmm." He smiled, taking a sip of his wine.
"I've been letting him sleep on the bed."
"I'm surprised he hasn't peed on it."
"Maybe that's why it's so warm." Meredith joked, holding the glass close to her.
"Mer...that's gross." Derek laughed.
"He hasn't actually peed." She giggled.
"Do you want more wine?"
"Yes please." She smiled, holding her glass forward.
"There..." Derek smiled, refilling her glass. "I think Cash needs a treat too."
"I'll get it." Meredith stood, walking over to the lower cabinet.
"I've been thinking about something."
"Yeah?" She tossed a bone onto the floor before taking her glass from his hands/
"Maybe you'd want to move into the house...since it's getting colder out."
"Oh..." Meredith looked up at him.
"Just a suggestion." Derek added quickly.
"You're helping me enough...the trailer is just fine."
"If you change your mind..."
"All I need is extra blankets...I can stop and get some after work tomorrow."
"I have plenty in the closet upstairs."
"Cash would enjoy the house."
"I think he likes staying with you."
"He's your dog."
"Who likes you better." Derek laughed.
"He likes you just fine."
"Mark wants to buy him a studded collar...I like the dollar sign idea better."
"I think both are...too much."
"You think so?"
"Possibly."
"Want to take him to the vet with me next week?"
"What day?"
"Wednesday night."
"Yeah." She pushed her hair back.
"So, how was your day?" Derek breathed, putting his wine glass down.
"Busy." She breathed, showing how tired she was. "Busy...lots of kids appointments this afternoon."
"Are you liking it?"
"Yeah..." Meredith nodded.
"Good. That's good."
"Keeps me busy."
"I'm glad you like it."
"The kids are funny."
"Some of them were my patients."
"So they've said."
"Oh?"
"Yeah."
"Good things I hope."
"Good things." She smiled, looking over at him.
"Good." Derek smiled at her.
"I know we're not supposed to discuss them outside of the office...it's confidential but they're really cute."
"They're all really sweet kids."
"Yeah..."
"Yeah." Derek smiled.
"Good distraction."
"Are you feeling better?"
"I feel fine."
"Good."
"Yeah." Meredith nodded, looking down at her glass of wine.
"I'm sorry."
"For what?" She asked, looking up again.
"I don't mean to pry."
"You don't pry nearly as much as everyone else."
"They pry because they care."
"I just wish… they wouldn't."
"Then, I guess my next question is out." Derek chuckled.
"What's your question?" She laughed weakly.
"How's therapy?"
"So, that's the question..." She laughed.
"Yeah..."
"It's uh…I don't know." She shrugged, looking down at the pillow between them.
"It's hard."
"I'm thinking about quitting therapy."
"I...if that's what you want..."
"I just don't know if it helps."
"Give it a little bit more time." Derek breathed.
"I'm tired of being a psychological experiment."
"If you want to quit, I'm not going to try to stop you."
"I know." She replied.
"Just make sure you're sure."
"You probably think I should think about it a little more."
"I'm not going to pry." He smiled.
"Uh huh." She smirked.
"Are you hungry?"
"Um...I could try."
"Okay." Derek smiled, putting his wine glass down and standing up. "I'll get some stuff from the kitchen."
"I really want one of your turkey sandwiches."
"You got it."
"Just sounds...good." Meredith shrugged.
"I'll make it right now."
"I think I get some credit for eating every day."
"Yeah...you're doing good." Derek laughed.
"I am." Meredith breathed.
"Do you want anything with it?
"No." She shook her head as Cash climbed up on her lap.
"One turkey sandwich."
"Any crazy patients today?"
"Just a guy who believed he had a tumor and forced us to spend hours on tests and labs."
"Lovely."
"He kept coming up with new symptoms. We ended up sending him to psych."
"Ironic."
"I'm not worried about you." Derek breathed.
'What?" She looked up and he turned around.
"I'm not worried about you." Derek repeated, finishing making her sandwich
"Oh." Meredith breathed, the dim lights of the trailer shining down on her.
"Sandwich." He handed her the plate.
"Thank you."
"You're welcome."
"Want a bite?" She held up a piece of turkey with a smile on her face.
"No thanks." He laughed, leaning against the wall.
"We could watch a movie tonight."
"That sounds good."
"With Cash?"
"Of course."
"Okay." Meredith smiled weakly.
"You want to pick?"
"What would you prefer?"
"Whatever you want."
"We could watch...The Holiday...or The Hangover..." Meredith said, listing two completely different movies.
"Which one do you want to watch?" Derek asked, sitting down next to her.
"I would never tell Cristina, but The Holiday is one of my favorite movies."
"Then, lets watch that one."
"Alright."
"How's the sandwich?"
"Pretty good."
"That's it? Just pretty good?" He smirked.
"Yeah." Meredith grinned.
"Oh I see..."
"I used to hate turkey sandwiches." Meredith laughed, putting the plate on the side table.
"Until?"
"Until yours...it's the mayo sauce you make I think."
"Hmm..."
"What?"
"Nothing." Derek breathed."
"Do you want to put the dvd in...I'll change into something comfier?"
"Yeah..."
"Okay...I'll be right back."
"Take your time." Derek whispered, taking a deep breath, and running his hand through his hair. Meredith was smiling and laughing. Derek would have been lying if he said he wasn't loving every minute of it. He cared about her, and it was great to see her happy, but he was worried that he was starting to care too much. She couldn't handle much right now, let alone what he was feeling. There was no way that he was going to let her know. At least, not right now.