Reiner Ludwig, District Seven (18)
Khaleesy. The name lifted from my tongue. The woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. The woman who was the greatest motivation for there to be a rest of my life. I still felt the ghost of her on my lips from where she'd kissed me after the Reaping. All the times we dreamed of the day we'd marry and the children we'd raise together. She'd always teased me that one of them would end up in my class someday and she wouldn't be able to help him with his homework behind the teacher's back because she lived with him. What would she do if I died? What would she do if she had to watch it happen?
She wasn't the only one I thought of. While I prepared to kill to get back to her I also thought of the children I taught- the children who would watch me kill. I didn't think she'd have to worry about our child getting to my class. I didn't think I could ever be a teacher again. And every time I killed I thought of Lyte, the boy who would have knitted the ones I wounded back together if he'd been there.
For me the Games wasn't about twenty-four Tributes. It was about six. And after the Bloodbath it was about five. Hunter, the Career denied entrance into the pack. He died on the third day. The Careers denied him entry but he was still the first they targeted when they attacked us. Tillo and Felix, the lovers. Shogo and I awkwardly tried to make normal conversation and pretend we actually had left the room to go "looking for water". It was lovely to see someone with Tillo's history get that chance and to see how she and Felix found love in the Arena like most people never even found in normal lives.
And Shogo, the one in front of me with a trickle of my blood running down his sword. He'd left the alliance days ago. The cannons had sounded and we'd both hoped to see the other in the sky. But time went by until there were no Careers left and no one still hunting except me and him.
I couldn't really say I had a better reason to get home. I wasn't even married to Khaleesy yet. Shogo had held his son and had his life changed. It was selfish for me to keep fighting. I put my own desire to live over the needs of an innocent child. I would make the same decision again but I would still always live with that guilt. I hadn't thought about my training in years. It was just a fun memory of life before my family moved to Seven. When I used it against Shogo I wished I'd never had it. I wished for the tiny ripple of change that would have resounded through my life if all those years ago I hadn't trained to fight in the Games. I wouldn't have won without it but I probably wouldn't have been Reaped if one single thing in my life had turned out differently.
Calvary was the one I fought last. It was unfair that someone who lasted so long against such odds was faced with someone bigger and with training. And she kept coming. With injuries so grievous they made me sick she kept coming. At last I knocked her down and cut off her head. I wondered if it reminded my students of the fairy tales we'd read.
After all that Khaleesy still wanted me. The Capitol wanted us to have our wedding right away. I wanted the same thing. I wanted to lock her in before she could change her mind. Not that it really mattered. I would have let her go no matter how long she'd been with me. I couldn't ask anyone to take on problems as big as mine. But to her it was like the Games never happened. She told me once it was something I hadn't asked for and couldn't be held accountable for. She believed it so hard I started to believe it too. When our firstborn daughter came into the world it was like a new start. We named her Chamomile- "Millie". Chamomile- a lovely white flower that heals the sick.