A/N: So, it is Mercedes' birthday today. What better way to celebrate than with angst on the last hour of the day!
Garland Moon 1180:
Night of the Thirtieth of the Garland Moon:
Byleth stared at her bandage right hand. Since it was expected for there to be a large number of wounded knights to be returning soon, she didn't get the full treatment that she needed. That was fine to her and she actually had been expecting that. Her actions throughout the battle had been idiotic and she believed that she needed to suffer more consequences for them. At least her botched spell didn't leave her feeling like her skin was on fire, though she knew she wouldn't be able to assist in healing because of it.
"Are you okay?" Dimitri asked and she tore her eyes away from her hand to look at him. Ever since he found her on the battlefield, he had been stuck to her, and she had been dependent on him because of it. She had been unable to walk back to camp on her own, so he carried her back and though he did not know it, he had been helping to keep her mentally stable as she was sure she would given in to all her negative thoughts if he left her. She was afraid to discover what kind of mess she will be like once they separate for the night.
She clenched her fist as best as she could and winced because of it. The burn wasn't as severe as before, but it was still painful. "I will be fine," she answered, and he didn't seem too pleased. "I'm a lot better than before." He gave her a little nod at that.
In all honesty she knew full well that she should be unconscious. Not only was her tolerance to pain unbelievable but she was staying awake out of sheer stubbornness. Sothis had fallen asleep not long after Byleth had parted with Catherine on the battlefield and she wondered if maybe three-time rewinds was also Sothis' limit as well. Before Byleth would allow herself to rest she needed to make sure her students were okay and because she also knew that if she were to suddenly collapse it would upset them.
She felt Dimitri grab her left hand, while staring at her. Her left hand still had a bit of numbness to it, so she wouldn't be able to rely on it for at least another day. She leaned against him as they walked, as her answer to his unspoken question. Having him carrying her would be great but she was sure if he did that she would finally give in and sleep. Besides they were in camp, she was sure the knights would question such an action; speaking of which she stood straight and pulled her hand away, he did not question her actions so she was sure he understood.
It took a lot of effort for her, but they finally arrived at the students' camp section, which was just on the opposite end of where the knights' medic tent was. Sylvain and Felix sat quietly in the middle of the camp, where the fire will be built soon and Dedue stood a bit away, leaning against a tree and fiddling with his axe. The girls and Ashe were nowhere to be seen but as they passed by the girls' tent, they could hear crying and she hoped that Ashe was in her shared tent.
When she attempted to break away from Dimitri to enter the girls' tent, he panicked and grabbed her arm a bit too tightly. Large, blue eyes stared into hers and she was helpless to his gaze for a moment. Giving him a small smile, she lightly gripped his hand and nudged her head towards the girls' tent. Slowly he came to his senses and looked away slightly, before releasing her hand and giving her a small nod. She watched him walk over to Dedue for a moment before she entered.
The girls were sitting in the middle of their tent trying to comfort a crying Mercedes. Annette's eyes were red with tear stains down her cheeks, she hugged her best friend as she offered words of comfort. Ingrid hovered close, though her body was stiff as she offered some of her own words of support, but hers were a lot less impactful thanks to her lack of confidence when she spoke. The knight in training was the first to notice the professor and moved out of the way so that the newcomer could sit next to Mercedes.
"It is okay," Byleth said as softly as she could. Lightly she rested one of her hands on Mercedes' shoulder and the other on her lower back. Briefly Mercedes ceased her crying to look at Byleth. "Everything will be okay. The battle is over."
Violently, Mercedes shook her head and went back to crying into her hands. Byleth looked at her other students, seeking answers but neither of them said anything and looked away. Putting a bit more pressure on the healer, Byleth hoped she would get Mercedes to look at her again.
"What is wrong? Won't you please tell me?" Mercedes didn't answer and her body shook as a powerful sob broke through her. She leaned forward to hide herself a bit more and Byleth feared she made a mistake, but she didn't give up. "Please Mercedes."
The soft-spoken woman's trembling stopped but she did not move, at least not right away. Slowly she sat up and looked at the tent's entrance. Tears were still streaming down her face, but she wasn't sobbing at the very least. She tried to start speaking but her voice was gone. She took a deep breath and a sob nearly escaped her upon an exhale.
"I…I couldn't save someone!" She finally admitted and broke down crying again. All the other women shared looks. Annette went back to hugging Mercedes and offering words of comfort. Sweet words that were most likely true but Byleth knew from experience that they were not the words that Mercedes didn't want to hear at that moment.
Placing a hand on one of Annette's, Byleth got the younger woman to say no more. The professor maneuvered herself so that she was in front of Mercedes and Ingrid took over her old spot. Mercedes stared at Byleth was such sorrow in her eyes that Byleth realized that she had failed to help another student.
"Forgive me Mercedes." The sobs turned into snivels as Mercedes looked at her professor. "I'm sorry that I didn't teach you the most important lesson about being a healer." Byleth held Mercedes' hands and rubbed her knuckles. All the women looked at the professor. "This may sound cruel, but you can't save everyone."
Both Ingrid and Annette shouted at her, but she didn't pay any attention to them and instead focused on Mercedes, who began to cry again. That was such a painful lesson that Byleth had learned all her own and she was so ashamed of herself for not preparing Mercedes to learn it. She was a horrible professor.
"Forgive me for failing you." Mercedes said nothing and just continued to cry some more. "I should have taught you that beforehand."
"Professor!" Annette shouted. "How can you say such a thing?" Tears were now beginning to form at the corner of her eyes, but Byleth didn't give the mage too much attention.
"Just as you have learned the lesson in a painful manner, I was the same, and yet I failed to prepare you for it." Mercedes' sobs became quiet hiccups so Byleth continued, "I learned the lesson, when I failed to save a man that was like a father to me." She had to take a deep breath. She tried so hard to forget Muharib's death, it was too painful but if she had remembered, she could have spared Mercedes.
Gasps escaped the other women but none of them registered to Byleth. She opened her mouth to speak several times, but she could never find her voice. The memory of Muharib dying before her and she not having enough magic to save him; no, she could have saved him and all she needed to do was being willing to sacrifice herself. He died because she was weak! Because she was a coward!
The memory of Muharib beginning to speak his final words, words that long since stopped reaching her, played before her eyes. The memory was interrupted as she was pressed against someone and it took her a few seconds to register that it was Mercedes, soon Ingrid and Annette joined in for a group hug. It was only then that she had realized that her vision had blurred with the tears that she would never be able to shed as she clung to Mercedes.
No one said anything and that was just fine. After a minute or so Byleth pulled back and she stared at Mercedes for a few more seconds. Eventually nods were exchanged and Bylethe left the women, knowing that at least she managed to help Mercedes a little.
Outside the girls' tent was Dimitri and he quickly latched onto her, and she barely acknowledged him with a small bob of her head. She was sure the hug had helped the girls and she felt something from it as well but digging up an old wound wasn't too pleasant for her. Muharib mouthing his final words flashed before her mind again and she tried to push it away by squeezing her eyes shut.
A light touch from Dimitri broke her out of the memory and she looked at him. There was such concern in his eyes that she felt the same little warmth that the hug had given her. She patted his hand and gave him a small smile, as her silent way of telling him that she would be okay.
She glanced around the little area, Dedue had joined Sylvain and Felix but he still kept his distance and Ashe was still nowhere to be seen. She glanced at her tent hoping that he was in there. Right when she was about to make her way over to it, Sylvain spoke up.
"Looking for Ashe?" he asked but he didn't look at her. He continued to stare down at his hands, even when she answered him. "I…I do not know what to say to him…" He buried his face into his hands. "He must be suffering so much right now and there is nothing I can do for him."
She walked over to Sylvain and rested a hand on his shoulder, but he didn't react. Just as she had no words for Ashe on the battlefield, she had no words for him. It was just another painful reminder of how useless she was.
"He is at the lake," Felix spoke so quietly that she nearly missed it. She glanced at him, but he didn't look at her. "You can help him," he spoke again with eyes still locked on the ground, "I know you can."
Wordlessly, she gave him a nod. She had her doubts that she could actually help Ashe, but he needed someone, and she would step into that roll. With a final glance at everyone she began to leave, only to quickly discover that Dimitri was following her.
"I…I wish to help Ashe," he said when she first glanced at him. Having him there would be a great comfort as she was sure he would do a much better job at consoling Ashe than her; after all, he was always able to do a marvelous job at making her feel better by simply being there. "I…I have some idea what he must be feeling…" As he spoke again his gaze began to drift away. She grabbed his hand and gave it a light squeeze; his gaze returned to her but that was about it. They walked the rest of the way to the lake holding hands.
The lake wasn't that far from the camp, in fact a few knights' tents were near it. Sitting on the lake's edge away from the tents was Ashe. He was staring at his reflection with hollow eyes, he didn't react at all when Dimitri or Byleth sat on either side of him.
Byleth stared at Ashe for a few seconds but he still didn't move. She glanced at Dimitri, who looked back with her seeking the same answers as she was. She reached out to touch Ashe but stopped herself. Unable to pull her hand back it hovered over his back.
"Ashe," she called his name so softly and she finally got a reaction, a tiny one but one nonetheless, he flinched at the sound of her voice. Dimitri also called for him, but he didn't really react at that.
The archer pulled his knees closer to him, but his gaze remained locked on the lake. Finally, she placed her hand on his back and he buried his face into his knees. A few seconds passed before she called his name again and a few more seconds later before he slowly showed his face again and she could see that he had started to cry.
"I…I do not understand why," he finally said, and he continued to refuse to look at either her or Dimitri. "Why did he do such a thing?" He pressed his knees further against him. "Why didn't he tell me anything? Why?"
She had asked herself those same questions but as an outsider she had no answers. She was sure it had something to do with that Christophe person, but she had no idea who he was, and she knew asking Ashe about him at the time would just be cruel. With nothing to say she just rubbed his back and stared at the lake. The sunset was reflecting off the lake, on any other occasion she would have thought it to be a beautiful sight, but on that day, it just felt like a slap to the face.
"If he hated the church so much then why did he send me to Garreg Mach? Why send me to his enemy?"
"He must have not wanted you to get caught up in his own personal vendetta," Dimitri answered before she could think of anything to say. Ashe finally tore his eyes away from the lake to look at the prince.
"But why!" Dimitri flinched at the unexpected, loud outburst. "Why send me to Garreg Mach?" Dimitri looked to her for support. "Why did he keep me in the dark?"
"To protect you," she said, and it was her turn to have Ashe face her. She was now able to see all the emotions in his eyes, there were so many, but she didn't see any darkness and she was relieved. "Your safety must have been his priority."
A scowl formed on his lips as his gaze drifted downwards. "But…but I…" His voice began to wavier.
"Lord Lonato wanted to protect you. He sent you to Garreg Mach so that the church wouldn't hold any suspicions against you." She would take that secret of the archbishop's plans to her grave. She was sure that that had to be Lord Lonato's reasoning because surely the lord had to see how futile his endeavor was. Even if the ambush had been a success and he had won the battle, he would still have no hope of winning the war, specially if the church had called upon the Kingdom for support.
"Lonato…" The tears started to fall freely, and she pulled Ashe in for a hug. He was stiff at first but then he squeezed her so tightly that it knocked the wind out of her, but she did nothing as he really began to cry. While she patted his head, she looked at Dimitri, who was staring at the lake with an unreadable expression.
It wasn't until the sun had set that Ashe finally stopped crying. The front of her tunic was soaked but she didn't care and assured him of that. It took a little coaxing, but she managed to get him to agree to returning to camp with her.
When they returned to camp, they discovered that everyone was sitting around the campfire. Mercedes had seemed to have stopped crying but Byleth knew that it was only temporary. Everyone looked at them, but no one had the heart to say a greeting.
She helped Ashe to sit next to Ingrid, who started to speak to him softly. He didn't say anything, but she didn't stop talking to him about little things, like the warmth of the fire and such. Byleth realized that she didn't give Ingrid enough credit, the young woman had enough confidence in trying to take charge and help Ashe recover, something Byleth couldn't say about herself. After a minute or so Felix joined them by sitting on the other side of Ashe. He said nothing but Byleth knew his presence was enough to offer some comfort.
Suddenly the stillness of their camp was disturbed by an angry shout as a knight stormed his way over, followed by another one, failing to restrain the first. All eyes flew to the knights, but he didn't care. As soon as his eyes landed on Ashe, he became even more belligerent and Byleth instantly stood in his way.
"Sir Knight, I'm going to ask you to please lower your voice," she said as calmly as she could as she continued to stand in the knight's path as he tried to move around her.
"Get out of my way!" the knight shouted as he shoved her out of his way and Dimitri got involved as he grabbed her arm so that she would tumble too far. He now stood in the knight's way but was far more aggressive about it than her.
"Sir Knight, is there something we can do for you?" Dimitri asked politely but there was an edge to his voice that had the other knight flinching a little. The loud knight glared at Dimitri, but he did not touch the royal.
"Yeah," the knight growled out as he pushed away the other knight. "Hand over the traitorous brat!"
All of the students stood on guard. Felix and Ingrid stood in front of Ashe while Dedue stood behind him. Sylvain stood up from his spot, but he didn't move. Annette and Mercedes moved to Ashe's side. Dimitri glared dangerously at the man before him, who seemed to be too caught up in his anger to notice the shift in the air.
Once again Byleth stood in the man's path. "I am going to need you to leave," she said in a surprisingly calm voice. Sothis would have been proud of her, if the girl had been awake to see the event.
"Shut up! Don't think you are some saint!" The knight tried to swipe at her, but she easily stepped back to avoid it. Dimitri moved forward to grab the man, but she stopped him by grabbing his arm and when he had calmed down some she let go of his hand. "I will deal with your disloyal ass later!" Once again Dimitri moved for the man but was stopped when she held up a hand. She never took her eyes off the man as she stood in between the knight and Dimitri.
"Leave," was all she said but there was a sharp edge to her voice.
"I will not take orders from scum like you!"
Once again Dimitri tried to lunge at the man, but she stopped him. The man continued to shout insult after insult and would constantly shove the other knight away. Clutching her fists tightly, she said nothing and just watched as the knight continued to make a fool of himself.
"Hand over that bastard child!" the knight screamed right into her face. Gritting her teeth, she had to physically hold back Dimitri by placing a hand on his chest. "He will pay for his father's sins!"
She finally had enough and punched the man as hard as she could with her burnt hand. Her hand cried out in pain, but she didn't care as she glared daggers at the knight, who was lying on the ground trying to figure out what just happened. Shouts of her name and title filled the campsite but she could not hear them over the sound of the blood rushing in her ears.
"You bitch!" The knight quickly got onto his feet and was about to rush at her, but Dimitri pulled her behind him and was prepared to take the hit instead. Before the blow could land a new shout filled the area, halting everyone.
"What is going on here?" Catherine's loud voice rang out in the little area. She and two other knights soon joined everyone.
"I punched a knight," Byleth said and folded her arms across her chest.
"Wha?" Dimitri blurted out as he looked at her for a second before quickly turning to address Catherine. "That is not entirely true!"
"She punched me right in the face!" The belligerent knight shouted as he messaged his injured cheek. She couldn't help but think that she didn't punch him hard enough.
"Only because you threatened her and Ashe!" Sylvain shouted and the other students either nodded or voiced their agreements.
Catherine was silent as she looked at everyone and Byleth refused to make eye contact. Eventually her eyes landed on the other knight, who had been the area. When that knight confirmed what Sylvain said to be true, she sighed.
"You two," she started by directing it towards the two knights, "return to your tents. I will deal with you later." The aggressive knight tried to object but a glare from Catherine silenced him. With some insistence from the quiet knight the two left.
Catherine than turned her sights on to Byleth, who was now looking at her. She let out another large sigh, as she shook her head. The women stared down each other and Byleth made it clear that she wasn't going to be the one to speak first.
"Why did you do that?" the knight captain finally asked.
"He threatened one of my students," Byleth said with no emotion. She believed the knight should be grateful that she just didn't run her blade through him. Her eyes widen in surprise at how violent her own thoughts were.
"I get that but," Catherine paused to sigh again, "you should know better." Byleth just shrugged her shoulders and Catherine groaned as she pinched the bridge of her nose. "You do realize that you need to be punished, right?"
"That is not fair!" Dimitri butted in before Byleth could say anything. "He stormed his way into our area and started causing problems. By-I mean Professor only acted in defense of one of her students!"
"I understand that but-"
"She should not be punished!"
"Dimitri," Byleth said and she gave him a small glare as a warning. He pressed his lips together but backed down; she then turned her sights onto Catherine. "I will accept whatever punishment you decide."
Sighing yet again, the older woman scratched the back of her head, loosening up her ponytail in the process. She gave Byleth a long, hard look. Slowly her gaze drifted away with a slight shake of her head.
"I'll let Lady Rhea decide your actual punishment but for tonight you will go without dinner."
"Sir Catherine, please reconsider!" Dimitri once again butted in before Byleth could say anything. He ignored his professor's warning glare. "By-I mean Professor is injured and going without eating will only slow her recovering process."
Catherine pressed her lips together. "Dimitri," Byleth said but he didn't back down, so she then shouted his name and he flinched a little. She stepped forward and nodded at Catherine. "I accept my punishment."
"But-" She gave Dimitri an even more intense glare and he went silent.
"I punched a knight." He scowled a little, but he said nothing. "I'm being let off easy." For now, at least but she got the feeling that the archbishop wasn't going to give her much of a punishment either.
She looked towards the knights' camp. The two knights were long gone, and she was glad for that. She then turned her sights on Catherine, who seemed to be trying really hard to keep her expression neutral.
"That knight," she paused to look back at the knights' camp, "he lost someone in the battle, didn't he?"
There was a bit of a silence before Catherine spoke. "Yes, he lost his best friend." Still looking at the knights' side of the camp, Byleth nodded. She accepted that she was deserving of his backlash. If she had been more level head, thought things through, then maybe that knight's friend wouldn't have had to die.
"It's my fault for all the casualties." Dimitri opened his mouth to protest but she silenced him with a raise of her hand. "If any of the other knights have problems, I will be willing to listening to them. But Ashe is innocent in all of this!" Her eyes narrowed on Catherine, who nodded. "Have your knights direct their anger at me."
"That is-" Dimitri tried to speak again but she wouldn't have it and just talked over him.
"Dinner is ready isn't it?" Byleth asked the knights and didn't even spare Dimitri a glance.
There was a bit of a pause from Catherine again before she answered. "Yes, we came to inform you of that." Seemed a little excessive for the commander, herself, to come but Byleth decided to not comment on it; she was already giving Catherine enough problems.
None of the students moved and just continued to watch the knights. It was the professor's turn to sigh. She gestured for them to leave but they all remained stubbornly in place. She couldn't blame them for doing so, she was sure they were worried about other knights' outburst and of course their silent protest against her not eating.
"You all need to eat!" They just looked at her. "You all just fought a hard battle." She held up a hand to silence Dimitri's obvious rebuttal. "Please eat."
A silence settled over everyone and she was at a loss of what to do. Suddenly, Felix got up and began to walk towards the knights' side of camp. Everyone watched him but none followed so he stopped right when he passed Byleth.
"We should not let food go to waste," he said as she glared at her, though his glare lacked any real intensity, and she wondered if it was just permanently etched into his face. After saying his peace, he began to walk away, and she just couldn't understand why he hand to be so difficult, but she was grateful, nonetheless. She wondered if he remembered the story, she told him and the others when they were kids about the time that she went two days without food because of terrible planning and luck.
It took a few moments but eventually the others began to follow. Dimitri remained stubbornly behind and by extension Dedue as well. Dimitri wouldn't look at her and was too busy scowling down at the ground. She placed a hand on his shoulder and he slightly flinched at her touch, but he did not look at her.
"Will you help Ashe get dinner?" He sighed but nodded. It was a few more seconds before he finally gave in and left and so did Dedue.
Soon it was just her and the knights. Catherine opened her mouth to say something but a second later she closed it with a shake of her head. Clasping a hand on Byleth's shoulder Catherine left without saying anything.
Now alone, the former mercenary stared at the little campsite. She recalled the last time she went camping with her friends and it was during the Wyvern Moon in 1174. It was fun until the ambush, she wondered if she was allowed to have fun camping trips with her friends; well ones were Claude wasn't around.
Her gaze drifted over to her tent. She need sleep, Sothis had already drifted off long ago, and yet she couldn't bring herself to do so. Taking a deep breath, she began to walk away from the camp. She knew it was foolish, her students would clearly be expecting her when they returned with their food, but she didn't want to be there. She didn't want to be reminded right away that she had failed them all.
Still close enough to camp that she could hear if there was an emergency, she rested against a tree. She rested her head in her knees as she tried to block everything out. While she managed to succeed with the outside world, her mind was another failure. Her thoughts continued to race, with all possible changes she could have done and how everything could have turned out differently.
Her head snapped up when she heard her name being called. Standing before her was Dimitri with a bowl and bread in hand. With wide eyes she looked around and discovered that there was no one else around but him. With no real thoughts in her head she just stared at him until he sat down next to her.
"Here," he said as she handed her the bowl. She stared at it before looking up at him.
"Did they give you extra?" she asked, already knowing the answer.
He looked forward. "Yes." He was still a terrible liar. She pushed the food back towards him and he frowned.
"I'm not allowed to have dinner, remember?"
"That is not fair." She didn't say anything as she was now looking forward, while he looked at her. "Well if you will not eat than neither will I!"
"There are starving people in the world, you know?" From her periphery she could see him flinch. That was something she had often heard parents tell their kids to get them to eat, people that never had to worry about where they would get their next meal. She wondered if hearing such a thing had an impact on the kids, but she at least knew it would have one on Dimitri; he was such a kind soul. "Are you just going to waste food while someone will go to bed hungry tonight?"
Silently, he picked up his meal and ate it. It was a simple meal of bread and a soup of some kind. It was not a meal fit for a prince or good enough to replace the energy lost from the battle, but it would be easy on the stomach and that was the import part. She watched as he dutifully ate all of it, not allowing for a single bite to remain. She felt bad for guilting him into eating but he needed to eat.
The silence continued, long after his meal was finished. She had wanted to remain sitting up, doing whatever they were doing, but eventually she was losing out to her exhaustion and was leaning against him for support. Earlier sleep was escaping her but, in his presence, she felt at peace and found herself drifting off.
"By," he called for her softly and she hummed just as softly. She felt him shift around but she didn't move. "Oh, I apologize. Please sleep." Reluctantly, she sat up and slightly shook her head. His little frown didn't go unnoticed, but she decided to ignore it. Despite how at peace she was, she knew she shouldn't be doing that. The battle might be over but there were still knights on patrol and it could be dangerous if they were discovered in such a situation. Besides, she couldn't go to sleep not until Ashe did. At the thought of Ashe, she started to feel guilty for not being at camp.
The silence returned. She stared up at him and he stared down at her or more accurately he was looking through her. Seconds ticked by and he finally closed his eyes. With a deep breath, he opened his eyes again and instead of looking at her, he looked at her bandaged hand that he was now gently holding.
The silence stretched on until he finally looked into her eyes. "By," he called so softly that her name was nearly lost to the winds. He gave her hand a small squeeze, careful to not hurt her "Can you please promise me to not do something so reckless?" She could tell that the promise had nothing to do with her interaction with the knight. She pressed her lips together. "If…If I lost you…I…please promise me that you will be more careful." It was a reasonable request, one her father had constantly requested of her, but it wasn't one she was sure she could keep; she had yet to do so with any of her father's. That day might have been loaded with terrible decisions on her part, but she still stood by her decision to go into battle alone to kill the mage.
"Please By!" The desperation in his voice had been too much and she found herself agreeing to a promise she knew full well that she would not be able to keep.
Byleth awoke in a cold sweat. She sat up in her bedroll, desperately trying to forget her dream and failing miserably. The images of Dedue and Ashe lying in pools of their own blood, just would not leave her. She curled herself into a ball hopelessly trying to think of anything that could erase those images, but her mind just wouldn't allow it.
The stillness of the night was interrupted by a muffled cry. Slowly she unraveled herself to look over at Ashe, who was tossing and turning in his bedroll. Under normal circumstances she was to share her tent with Ingrid but given everything she chose to share it with Ashe because she was sure he would suffer from nightmares. Even though he was suffering it did bring her a great comfort to see that he was alive.
Careful to not make too much sound she made her way over to him. Channeling a small bit of magic into her hand, she placed it on Ashe's head until he stopped tossing and turning. After that she ran her hand through his hair still channeling the little bit of magic and whispered comforting words that she was sure that he couldn't hear but they made her feel better.
Everything was working fine, and Ashe had seemed to settle into a more peaceful sleep. She continued with her actions until she felt an intense jolt of pain shoot up her arm, reminding her of the botched spell that she hadn't recovered from yet. Her teeth dug into her lower lip to prevent herself from screaming out. She remained hunched over until the pain dissipated and slowly, she sat up. She was pleased to see that she hadn't awoken Ashe.
After she was sure that he was free from his nightmare, she left the tent knowing she was not going to be able to fall back asleep. It was still dark out and she guessed that it was close to two in the morning. Even if the nightmare hadn't woken her up, she would have done so soon anyway. There was a time when the mask assailants would ambush her around that time and now, she had just started to naturally awake around that time because of them.
She stood outside of her tent and took a deep breath. The cool summer air did little to calm her nerves. She glanced at the tent next to hers, it was Dimitri's and Dedue's and she wanted to peak inside, to have a visual confirmation that Dedue was alive and hopefully well. As much as she wanted to do so she decided against it as she knew it wouldn't be proper.
She was about to sit near the remains of the campfire but stopped when she heard a feint cry. She glanced back at her tent thinking that it was Ashe but as she got closer to hers, she realized that the crying was coming from Dimitri's tent. Throwing her earlier hesitation aside, she peaked her head into the boy's tent. Dedue was by Dimitri's side, who was clearing having an intense nightmare. Seeing Dedue, alive, had been another great relief. When Dedue noticed her, he gave her a pleading look.
Swiftly she made her way over to the other side of Dimitri. He was drenched in sweat, mumbling incoherent words, and held his beadroll in a death grip that was starting to tear, every time he tossed. She called for him softly and she even shook him, but he wasn't going to awake that easily.
She glanced at Dedue, who was watching her carefully. "Oak, I will take care of this," she said, and he gave her a nod, "can you please watch Ashe for me?" He was hesitant to leave but he did after giving her another nod.
She wasn't too worried about Ashe, she did leave him in a decent sleep, but after seeing Dimitri she did want someone to at least check on him. Given past experiences she was sure Dimitri would feel ashamed after waking up and he would prefer Dedue to not be there and see him like that. She wondered in the four years that they were separated did he suffer his nightmares all alone. She hoped that wasn't the case, but she didn't have that much faith in that regard.
She felt the painful jolt run down her arm again, but she ignored it as she continued to channel magic into her hand that she ran through Dimitri's hair. The jolt soon gave away to an intense burning sensation beneath the skin of her arm but despite her body screaming its protest she continued to cast the light Faith spell. Soon she was drenched in sweat and was breathing heavy, but she had succeeded in being able to calm Dimitri some.
Now past the difficult part she ceased casting her spell for her own sake. She knew that he would awaken soon and so she continued to run her fingers through his hair. Quietly, she whispered words of assurance that she was there, and that she wasn't going anywhere, in preparation for when he would finally open his eyes.
Slowly he opened his eyes and his gaze settled on her for a moment. She smiled down at him, when she saw his gaze focusing and wasn't surprised when he turned away from her. Just as when he was younger he didn't ty to stop her from touching him and so she continued to run her fingers through his hair and hum some tavern song she had long forgotten where she heard it or what it was about.
Eventually, he accepted reality and turned to look up at her. Tears were still clinging to the corner of his eyes, but she knew not to try and wipe them away as he would have a violent reaction. She continued to do what she was doing, until most of the tension left him.
"Do you think you will be able to fall back asleep?" she asked, and he simply shook his head no. "Then do you want to join me for some star gazing?" Still not saying anything he just continued to look at her. "We can do something else if you want." He shook his head no.
A silence settled over them and she was fine with that. In the past he would often take some time before he would speak or do anything, and she had no intention of rushing him. She just continued to run her fingers through his hair and hum her little tune.
"I am sorry that I awoke you," he said so quietly as his voice was horse and she simply shook her head.
"I was already awake." He continued to look at her and did nothing else. "Do you still have those nightmares often?" He turned his head away from her. "I am always awake at this time. You can come and visit me if a nightmare awakes you." He turned his head back to look at her. She can see the little response in his eyes and so she smiled softly at him. "You will not be a bother to me. You will never be."
She sat straight and stretched her back. The burning sensation was still there but it had diminished greatly. When she felt the last bit of tension leave her back, she smiled down at him. "Get up and let's go outside." He did not move. "I think a change of scenery will help." She nudged him a little when he still didn't move. Reluctantly, he nodded and began to get up.
As soon as he was out of his bedroll, he latched onto her, by holding her hand a little too tightly. It intensified the pain in her arm more, but she said nothing as she realized that she should have expected that, as in the past he would often hold her in a bone crushing hugs. She did get him to hold her left hand, instead, the numbness in it meant he could hold it even tighter.
"Where is Dedue?" Dimitri asked when they were out of the tent.
"I asked him to watch Ashe for me." He nodded at that and went back to being quiet.
She guided him to sit near the firepit and he did like an obedient, little child. Since they were going to stay awake for the rest of the night, she decided to light the campfire, but he wouldn't let go of her hand to do so. She didn't want to use magic to light the fire as her body was still very much angry at her and so she gave up on the fire. As she looked at the dead firepit she realized that maybe it would be best to not have a fire going. He still hadn't told her what happened during the Tragedy but from the little she caught of his cries during his nightmares, fire had been involved somehow so starting one was probably not going to be a good thing.
The darkness wasn't too bad thanks to the bright moon and the cool summer night wasn't bad either, so they didn't really need a fire. As she was about to sit down, Dimitri maneuvered himself so that he would be on her right side. She didn't understand why until she discovered that it allowed him to hold her left hand as well as wrap an arm around her and keep her as close to him without actually having her siting on his lap. After every nightmare he had when they were children he needed to have physical contact with her, she didn't understand why then but now she believed it's because he needed physical confirmation that she was there and she would gladly give it to him.
Leaning against him she pointed out star constellations that Claude had taught her, or at least what she was sure were the ones he told her. Dimitri was quiet the entire time, but she could tell that he was listening with the slight bob of his head every now and then. She was doing all this to help him feel better, but she found out that it was also having a positive impact on her as well. Her earlier anxiety was a thing of the past.
She had no idea how much time passed, it could have been an hour or even just a few minutes, but Dedue had eventually emerged from her tent with Ashe in tow. They slowly shuffled their way over to the two sitting. Ashe was constantly looking at his feet while Dedue just looked at her. She patted the spot next to her, awkwardly with her right hand, and Ashe sat down next to her but Dedue remained standing.
"Oak, if you wish to go to bed you can. I can handle everything," she said that but had her doubts but those she would keep to herself. He shook his head. She wondered if he had a nightmare as well, but she knew that he would never tell her if he did. He was like her, suffering in silence. "Join us then."
A few seconds did pass before he finally decided to sit next to Dimitri. Once Dedue sat down, Dimitri released her hand, but he still had his arm wrapped around her. The boys were dead silent so Byleth went back to talk about the stars as it was the only thing she could think to do. To her surprise, Dedue had chimed in with a few Duscarian constellations and both Dimitri and Ashe took an interest, though they never spoke. Unfortunately, Dedue went silent when a knight, on patrol, passed by and spoke no more after that.
The group settled into a new silence as she tried to figure out how to break it. Any topics she tried to bring up would only have her talking to herself and she made for a poor conversation partner. She didn't have to struggling alone for long as the girls emerged from their tent to join them. None of them looked like they were getting sleep, well good sleep at least, and Byleth felt guilty for not checking on the rest of her students. Ingrid went to check on Sylvain and Felix after a gesture from Byleth, and now all the students were sitting outside.
A fire was started at the suggestion of Dimitri and Byleth hoped that was a sign that he was doing better. The light of the fire didn't bring the comfort she was hoping for, it just illuminated all the sorrow on her students' faces. She knew a distraction was needed but she didn't know what, and she was sure talking about the starts wasn't going to work. She wished that Sothis was awake to help.
She watched the fire dance, hoping for an idea to strike her. When no idea came, she looked up at the stars and even she didn't want to talk about them. She didn't know if the clear night sky was a blessing or just an insult at how the world was at peace while she and her students were not.
Her gaze dropped to her students and all of them seemed to be lost in their own little world. Hearing a little hiccup, she turned to look at Ashe and discovered that he was holding back his tears. She patted his head but that only seemed to make it harder for him. She needed a distraction and quick and luckily, he gave her an idea, though she had her doubts about being able to pull it off.
She looked back at the fire and remembered back to the one time she camped with Dimitri and Felix. They had been excited about telling stories around the campfire. A story seemed like a good distraction, but she had no confidence in telling one. Glancing at Ashe and Ingrid she wondered if she could read one of the books, she was sure one of them had to have brought; but then again she didn't think anyone was in the mood to hear a story about knights.
If Sothis was awake, Byleth was sure the mysterious girl could tell an interesting story. Byleth realized she could always tell everyone about Sothis as she was sure that would catch their attention. Though she would probably come off as insane to them and her students didn't need another thing to worry about.
She wished Claude was there, he seemed to have no problem telling her stories. All his stories were so farfetched that she still wasn't sure if they were real or not. She would be inclined to believe that he made them up if she didn't have her own fair share of tall tales. Her eyes widen and she finally discovered what to tell them about.
"Would you guys like to hear a story?" she asked a little too excitedly. Everyone was looking at her, but she didn't see any visible interest from anyone, but she just chalked that up to the all the gloom they felt. "My tale may sound absurd, but I assure you that it is one hundred percent true." Now the more curious students were clearly interested.
Her gaze drifted upwards as she recalled the memory. "It happened on a night just like this." She looked back down at everyone and now more people were curious. "I was comfortably asleep, when suddenly I felt a call. I bolted upright in my bedroll in a fright and yet nothing seemed amiss. My father was sound asleep, so I just thought I had imagined it and right when I was about to drift off back to sleep, I felt the call again."
"W-what kind of call was it?" Annette asked as she looked at her professor with large, curious eyes. At least she knew one person was listening to her.
"It was a cry for help." Annette gasped. "But I didn't know at that moment. Still believing that I might just be imagining everything I decided to not wake my father, but I did grab my sword and dagger just to be on the safe side." When she mentioned her weapons, she had spiked even more of her students' interest. "I stood outside my tent wondering what to do. I had no idea what the call was, who was calling me, or where they were calling me from. I didn't even have an idea as to why I was the only one feeling it. Just as I was about to alert," she paused as she felt a sudden pang in her chest at the memory of Muharib, "the mercenary on guard duty, it was then that I had felt the most intense call yet. I began to run towards the lake, because I suddenly just knew that was where the call was coming from."
Annette was on the edge of her seat and though Byleth didn't think it would take all that much to interest her, it was still a nice ego boost to the inexperience storyteller. "I ran straight to the lake and I discovered a," she took a little pause to catch her breath and she discovered that everyone was now watching her carefully. Now that she thought about it, Claude often got her with dramatic pauses. "There was a massive battle going on with about a dozen or so masked people," at the mention of the mask people she saw her friends stiffen but she assured them that she was okay with a little smile, "against a massive, turtle creature."
"A turtle?" Annette gave her a suspicious look and she nodded.
"This wasn't just your run of the mill massive turtle though. It was as big as a house," she could tell that her noble bred students were having a hard time comprehending the beast's size. "It was the size of Garrge Mach's dining hall, if not bigger!" That helped and now Sylvain was watching her with a newfound sparkle in his eyes.
"So, there I was, standing at the forest's edge watching this battle play out before my eyes and I still had no idea who or what was calling me. But based on my past experiences, I knew the mask people were not to be trusted. So, I had two options before me. I could run back to my camp and alert my father and the other mercenaries about what was going on or I could do what my stupid fifteen-year-old self did."
"No," gasped Mercedes and she nodded yes.
"Yes, I choose to join the battle, on the side of the monster turtle."
"By no!" Ingrid shouted.
The professor smiled when she saw Felix snort a little. "I was way in over my head. Powerful spells were being flung around, arrows flew swiftly through the air, and those were nothing compared to the powerful blows that the beast was capable of. And then there was I, just a girl who was decent with a sword and had yet to learn how to cast a spell properly."
"By, you did not!" Sylvain asked.
She gave him a firm nod. "I did." His eyes widen. "Like a fool I rushed in and casted a fire spell that couldn't even light some dead grass on fire." The expressions Annette were making were amusing. "I had the element of surprise and I threw it away in a foolish move that I should have known better." Mercedes was covering her mouth and Annette now clinging to her best friend. "My first opponent was a hulking man that could give Raphael a run for his money and I was easily overwhelmed." Ashe and Dimitri were really into her story now and for that she was glad.
"When I thought I was going to meet my end a commanding voice called to me, ordering me to move and I did just that and right in time to narrowly avoid a powerful jet of water that not only took out my opponent but several other people as well."
"Who did the voice belong too?" Annette asked and Byleth just gave her a knowing look, which an impatient Annette did not appreciate.
"From there I got my act together as I realized that I would not be able to turn back anymore. I was now committed to that fight. I would like to say I was a terrifying force in the battle, but I did very little. I still managed to take out a few people that night, at least." They were watching her so intensely and she wondered if she shouldn't have glossed over the battle so quickly, but she honestly couldn't really remember that part to well.
"With the final person defeated it was just me and the turtle beast left. As I was cleaning myself off the voice called out to me again." Annette's eyes light up. "The voice belonged to the beast!"
"What?" Annette yelled loudly and Byleth glanced behind her, hoping that not too many knights were disturbed by the outburst, and lucky for them, none were. "It talked?" Annette still hadn't realized to lower her volume, so Mercedes had to gently reminder her to do so.
"Yes, the turtle creature spoke to me. He thanked me for helping him and told me that his name was Indech."
"Wait," Mercedes interrupted, "you met a strange creature that shared its name with one of the four saints?"
"Yeah," she answered hesitantly. She just stared at Mercedes until something clicked. In Sreng, she and Claude were following a trail of Saint Macuil and they discovered another talking beast. A beast that also called her Sothis. What did that all mean? What was Sothis' connection to them? How where the saints involved? She wasn't sure if she wanted to fall into some church conspiracy. She would like to keep her church involvement to a minimum as possible.
"By?" Dimitri called for her and with a light touch on her shoulder she jolted out of her thoughts. His hands slide down her side to intertwined with hers and she didn't really pay it too much attention. She looked at all of her students, who were looking at her.
"I have proof that that had happened." Their looks of concern were replaced with curious ones. She pulled out her necklace and held it up high for all to see. "The beast imbued my necklace with some of his power as thanks for helping him."
Gasps rang out amongst the students. Byleth let everyone pass around her necklace when it got to Sylvain, he asked for Annette to blast him with a fireball, which the mage was more than happy to do so. She was a bit worried, but she was happy to discover that the enchantment just didn't work only on her.
As everyone commented on the necklace or tired it out for themselves, Byleth leaned on Dimitri, who had yet to move. He did look at her when she nudged him to do so. His eyes were clear, and she had hoped that her story had helped to distract him from his nightmare, even if it was just for a moment.
"You once asked me, 'how you were supposed to know that I was okay'." He hummed and that was his response. "Well I want you to rest easy as your necklace helped to save my life several times." Instead of the smile she was hoping for, he gave her a small frown.
"I did not do anything. And it was the creature's power that saved you not the necklace I gave you nor me," he said as his gaze drifted back over to everyone.
"That is not true," She tugged on his arm so that he would look at her again. "I was only able to get that enhancement because of the necklace you gave me. I am only able to be by your side right now because of you! So, thank you!" His eyes had widened for a moment before settling into a fond look.
She smiled up at him and he pulled her closer to him so that he could kiss her forehead. She stared at him, not sure what to make of all that but the warmth that spread from her chest was greatly welcomed. He continued to stare at her with a look as if she was his everything, a look she was lost too and that was okay with her.
A/N: Everyone else had to pretend that like they were not witnessing two idiot lovebirds being stupidly romantic.
I will admit that I don't know where the ending came from but don't get used to it. The angst isn't over yet!
I knew the post battle part was going to be long, but I did not think it was going to be this long. I originally had planned for this chapter to end further along but the post battle had other ideas.
As for my other story I have an idea of what I want to do with it (amazing how not wanting to working on homework can give such great inspiration), but I decided that I won't work on it until I'm done with school. Which will just be a few more weeks to go!