Sonic slumped on the couch after all the chaos he had just witnessed. He released all his mental torment with a solitary yawn. Frozen, depressed, he slumbers, believing the threat evaporated.
Three minutes. Three years. When you're depressed, it's impossible to tell the difference between the two. And when you're asleep, well, it's more of the same. Our hedgehog remembered strutting around an infinity gauntlet with three stones. The time stone, the reality stone, and the Phantom Ruby. This was more than enough power to resurrect Bubsy, but still, there was a lingering sensation which formed in the hedgehog's mind- the thirst for more… He could "resurrect" people by bringing a duplicate consciousness from another timeline, but there was a deeper desire. And there was only one person in the known multiverse as determined as him: the Mad Titan Thanos. Just the thought of his purple chin triggered intense fear and regret. A phantom pain, bound within metal, haunts Sonic. "Is this what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object? Endless pain and suffering?" Sonic begged the lord. Which one? He crashed.
Well, he wanted to. A roaring storm interrupted Sonic's much needed depression slumber. "Mother fucker," Sonic curses, "what the hell is up with the weather? Must have been Tails doing something stupid with the weather. Damn that two timing bitch!" He ran outside, fists clenched in determination. A large storm formed over Station Square, and in its eye, a giant enclosed sphere dripping a thick translucent liquid blocked the sun. Chaos grows before his very eyes.
"Chaoooooossssssss!" Sonic roared. The eye of the storm stared at the blue blur. "Long time no see… Recognize me?" Sonic quipped. Just like the good old days, he thought. Sonic smiled, standing atop demolished traffic in the middle of the road. He threw a bunch of rings up in the air, and pulled off a light speed dash right into Chaos' leaky eye. Sonic heard Chaos bemoan the pain.
Meanwhile, as Bubsy fell to his "death", he saw Sonic entering the oozy sphere. In his final glimpses of the mortal realm, he realized that Chaos didn't flinch as Sonic pierced into his center. In fact, he let out a moan and cracked a smile.
Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated. From the peak of the building, the mad doctor Doofenshmirtz smiles, cuddling a tiny white chao with blue fur. "You know, if I had a nickel for every time I heard of a hedgehog bastard child, I'd have 2 nickels," Doofensmirtz quipped. "I'd complain, but your father's horny outburst spawned you… and now I will spawn you an army of brothers with my latest invention…" Doofensmirtz rubbed his hands with Evil Hand Soap and laughed maniacally as he watched the video footage of Sonic getting his dick sucked dry by the Sperm Extractinator from within the eye of the storm.
Sonic screamed. As if breathing inside the eldritch horror wasn't scary enough, now he's being sucked dry by the beast he thought was tamed years ago. His limbs, bound by bedrock chains, trapped him in an infinite state of spunk drainage. After 17 minutes and 43 seconds of pure cold succage, Sonic hatched an idea. "As they say, the only way to combat friction is with friction!" Sonic then pulsated his dick so hard it snapped off the grip of the Semen Extractinator. The pushback from such a thrust slammed Sonic to the wall so hard it shattered the bedrock and flung the hedgehog out of the monster's head. Fatigued, dry, and shackled by endless regret, Sonic fell down and smashed his head against a car.
He felt a pain like this once before… three years ago… when he fought the Mad Titan on the remains of Knowhere. He remembered Thanos kneeling down to his bloodied body, how the alien pulled his chin and stared at him right in his eyes. He remembered his monologue. "Your emotions get in your way, Sonic. You have access to infinite power, and what do you do with it? Fuck a bobcat. What a disgusting drive for a being with as much power as you." Thanos took his battleaxe and chopped Sonic's right arm, which donned a half-completed Infinity Gauntlet. "Consider this a draw," Thanos spoke grimly before teleporting to god knows where.