Thanos, Kevin, and Cashew stand on the grassy plains below Angel Island, which is being supported mid-air by the combined forces of Dialga and Palkia. Standing over Spider-Man's body, The Mad Titan asks Cashew, "so, where is Sonic anyway?" He looks to the dirt hole he dug Cashew in earlier and notices a speedy sphere rolling towards it- grass flies and sticks cackle in its wake. As soon as it slows, it drops into the hole and wobbles around.

Sonic The Hedgehog screams, "heads up!" then proceeds to dash to the miniature pit. He then casually gives a thumbs up to Thanos, laughs, and boasts, "hole in one! Ha ha! Anyway, Thanos, we need to discuss buisness."

Thanos clutches his dual gauntlets and replies, "who's we?" Then, Peter Griffin and Ernie the Giant Chicken catch up to Sonic. Peter, carrying the head of Jessie, tosses the spare flesh ball in with her coconspirator.

The hedgehog smiles at the sight of the two animal burglars buried together. He spits on the grave and remarks, "I've had enough of these two-timing hoes cramping my vibes. In fact, everyone's a hoe, including you, Thanos. You're the biggest hoe of them all. But unlike other people in my life, you're capable of changing. The Thanos I knew would let Angel Island sink…"

"and the true Sonic I know would let those punks live, even if their allegiances were soured."

"Well, you should always count on betrayal to ruin your life," Sonic replies while holding his robotic arm in front of Thanos.

The Mad Titan flusters, then sighs. After a second, he boldly announces, "listen to me, then once all of this is over, I'll regrow your arm. Alright?"

Sonic feels a burst of serotonin kick in, one shared with Thanos. In a second, the Eternal flexes his Infinitrix Gauntlet, and Spider-Man's body internally combusts. Cashew sniffs fire and asks, "what's cooking?"

Kevin facepalms as he sees Spider-Man's suit inflate like a balloon. He screams, "Thanos, what did you do?"

The Mad Titan pushes Sonic aside and stalks up to the body. He chuckles, "the kid's a two-timing bitch, as the hedgehog would put it."

Sonic replies, "Thanos is right, anyone who seems suspicious deserves to die. After all, we can resurrect them later, right?"

Thanos mumbles, "yes… all of them". Then he jabs a finger into Spider-Man's tender suit, and a flurry of fire spews out. He immediately jumps back and uses the power of the Infinitrix Gauntlet to channel the flame into a giant ball of fire. Everyone steps back as Thanos screams with every fiber of his soul. Soon, patches of flesh tear off his face, and a stream of blood fuses with the flames. Everyone steps back further as the Master Emerald in his left gauntlet rings a supersonic frequency, and the flame-blood condenses into a viscous red embryo that plops atop Thanos' hand. It slowly forms a fanged jawline, three eyes shaped like a triforce, and a small flap that detects smell. Then a bulge constructs these features together to form a face. Little stubs release from its bottom, forming manipulable limbs. Its eyes finally open and scream at the sight of light. Then, nonchalantly, Thanos grabs the baby and walks towards Team Rocket's grave. He drops the entity in the hole and alerts, "subjects, I have created life." Cashew, Sonic, Kevin, Peter, and Ernie all cautiously approach the entity. Together, they bear witness to a barbaric feat of cannibalism- first, the monster sloths its tiny mouth over the two robbers' hair, leaving behind a noticeable buildup of saliva. Then, the hairs scorch ablaze, and while the fires crackle, the monster jabs its head into Jessie and proceeds to latch onto her tongue before tearing it off and consuming it.

"Dear god, this is worse than that time…" Peter mutters in shock.

Ernie puts his hand onto Peter's shoulder, sighs, then mutters, "not now, Peter… Not now…"

Sonic screams, "what did Spider-Man do to deserve being the surrogate mother of a fucking demon monster?"

Thanos smiles at the adorable sight of his new pet choking on an eyeball. He looks towards everyone, specifically Sonic, and announces, "Parker double-crossed me before you had a chance to neutralize him. He took the Infinitrix Gauntlet and attempted to fight me, but he didn't account for the powers the Phantom Ruby had blessed me with. We battled in hell, and at first he overwhelmed me. For a second, I saw a clear glimpse of the poor child's face, and in his bloodshot eyes I saw a fiery spirit. A bitter blend of angst, betrayal, and confusion. And despite his compromised sanity, I knew he'd be a good host for Sol Crima."

"That's what you're calling it? SoI Crima?"

Thanos nods. He then stares at the grave site and finds nothing but picturesque skulls and a well-fed monster, now a few inches taller than usual. He carries the beast in his hands, yet it squirms around in his grasp. Despite this, he holds on to it with a tenacious grip. Thanos then smiles and quips, "now imagine all the power Sol Crima will have when he's imbued with the Seven Chaos Emeralds, together we can destroy Steven in a snap."

Ernie stares dead-eyed at Thanos and bitches, "hey, why can't you literally snap him out of existence?"

Thanos sighs, "I've tried that, but Steven will always find a way to resurrect himself. His body isn't a weakness- in fact, his consciousness exists in the air as metaphysical waves of pure evil. He's a leech on our thoughts, our cells, and our souls. Sure I can kill the body, but I can't kill thoughts. So we must manipulate them to our liking."

Everyone suddenly felt their stomachs deflate. Thanos coughs a bit, then realizes what he's dreaded: Steven's caught up with them. One by one, everyone drops, and Sol Crima whimpers at Thanos' body. Soon, three alien entities, one blue, one yellow, and one white, phase into the scene, along with a few guards. With their combined forces, these aliens pick up members from the group and phase them away, leaving behind Sol Crima. Alone, the pet sniffs and detects a delectable smell-- a smell his master shared. With nothing better to do, the beast slithers on the ground and follows the stench.

[...]

Bubsy clutched onto his wedding ring. No matter where he wandered into, a part of Sonic will always follow. Hungry, he followed his stomach towards a red barn bordered in police tape. "Fuck the police," the bobcat proclaims, "if I don't eat, they will run out of chalk." He tears through the tape bordering the front of the barnhouse and barges through, finding a tall, tenchcoat-donning inspector talking to a farmer. This farmer shutters in fear of Bubsy's arrival, and instinctively cocks a shotgun in front of the cat's face.

The inspector grumbles in his squeaky voice, "don't shoot, we're currently facing a global chalk shortage, and I already traced 6 bodies this night."

The farmer butts in, "any updates on the blood test?"

Bubsy interrupts the farmer and states, "relax, I'm just an outsider trying to fill my tummy."

The inspector replies, "you're trespassing on active inspecting grounds, give me a reason not to look away from the shotgun-wielding farmer and silence my robotic ears!"

Bubsy screams, "Robotic ears? Oh shit, you must be Inspector Gadget! Should have known from the trenchcoat! Can you Go-Go Gadget me some seared salmon?"

Gadget sighs. He always fears this moment when in public- the moment people recognize what he truly is. The robotic inspector looks up to Bubsy and confesses, "Gadget, in name only. My days of fighting strays like you using my technology are over. I'm old, my parts are decaying, and everyone who's ever called me by my real name has long since passed away. I have nobody to love, and no home to speak of. I'm always on duty… so let this old man spend what little energy he has on finding this blood sample's missing owner."

The farmer feels deeply uncomfortable. He hangs his gun back on the wall and points towards the fridge. He smiles and offers, "eat up." Gadget shivers as he reverts his focus back to his right hand, which acts as a portable blood scanning database.

Bubsy sits down on a creaky wooden chair in the living room and eats a plate consisting of leftover garlic chicken and a half-eaten biscuit. He stabs a knife into the tough chicken and cuts into it, attempting to remain gentle in front of the two strangers. He chews down on the burnt poultry and stares at the wood wall, focusing all his attention on the wavy asymmetrical patterns left behind by a series of axe cuts. Something about it feels calming- the idea that anything we hold true about our world can be constructed by human hands feels comforting to the bobcat. After passing the realms twice and dealing with Lovecraftian horrors, something as simple as a wooden wall felt humbling. And then, just as he swallowed a plump middle section of the breast, blood began oozing from the wall. Bubsy slams his fork on the table, jumps up, and stomps outside the farm, sighing, "thanks for the chicken, and by the way, your wall's leaking… I've had enough of this shit…"

Both humans gasp at the sight of Sol Crima scurrying forward. Gadget screams, "Go Go Gadget extendo grip," and throws his arm at the shotgun on the wall. He retrieves it and shoots the pet square in the eyes, yet the bullets pass through it and onto the wall. Deeming the menace to be immortal, the farmer timidly hides in the living room corner and witnesses the entity crawling up to Gadget and… sniffs his arm? Inspector Gadget lets out a sift of relief and looks at the cutie's face. The entity wags its tail as it molests the top of Gadget's blood sampling device.

Meanwhile, Bubsy breathes in the fresh air and walks into a corn field. He looks at the night sky and sees a shooting star. Deep down, he wishes that things would go back to normal, with Sonic in his arms. But he knows his relationship is permanently tainted. Bubsy slaps a fly hovering over his right shoulder and looks in its direction. He finds John Wick's leather jacket on the ground, drenched in blood. The bobcat barges back into the farmhouse carrying the brown drip and screams, "this jacket belongs to John Wick, my former comrade! Where's the body, Gadget?"

Inspector Gadget replies, "oh, thank the lord you showed up to confirm the body, my blood tracing machine doesn't work like it used to. I'm aging, and everyone around me is-"

Bubsy slaps Gadget in the face with such a velocity that it swung the wedding ring out of his hand. Sol Crima's eyes enlarge and it jumps midair, swallowing the gem. The being knew following the smell was a good idea… and now, imbued with the energy of a Chaos Emerald, the being grows a pair of wings.

Gadget's device dings, and a photo appears on his cellular phone which reveals the blood as belonging to one Darius Emmanual "The Rumble" Grouch III. Gadget remarks, "wait, this photo doesn't match the supposed victim. Perhaps this Rumble wears the same jacket?"

Bubsy screams, "that's bullshit, Gadget, if you look close at the leather you'll find an individualized serial code assigned by the Red Onion Corps., if we trace the code in its secret database then we can confirm this belongs to John."

Gadget pulls up a secret dark web browser and follows Bubsy's instructions. Eventually, he hacks into the secret database and discovers that the jacket was indeed lended to John on behalf of the Red Onions. Gadget remarks, "this bobcat is right! So, my only question is, where's this man's body?"

The monster, now 30% larger in size, sits there with a dumb smirk on their face. Bubsy looks at the monster and remarks, "despite being a Lovecraftian horror, you sure act like a dog."

The farmer has an epiphany. He explains, "wait, you may be onto something, if I know dogs correctly then they can track people based on smell. And this dog is an expert on blood, and it now has wings."

Bubsy intervenes, "great idea. Gadget, offer the entity the blood sample. This beast can take us directly to John's whereabouts."

Gadget Go-Go Gadget spits and replies, "us? I work alone, bobcat."

Bubsy responds, "look, John has been missing for… god damn, it's only been one day!?! Look, if there's any chance John's alive, then we may be able to stop Thanos. I can't think of a better assassin on the market."

Gadget screams, "and I can't think of a more obvious target on the market. Look, how can a mere mortal destroy someone like Thanos? Mere mortals cannot even hunt down a bad cat before he kills an innocent daughter!"

Bubsy facepalms.

Gadget continues, "quit acting like my suffering is a joke. My dog died…"

The bobcat sighs, "you know, John knew a lot about dogs… I'm going to be honest, when I ate that farmer's chicken, I just stood at the wall and marveled at human craft for the first time in eons. After all the shit I've been through these last few years it's hard to act down-to-earth. Yet in the few moments I shared with John, I saw a man who handled this esoteric chaos in a way only a mortal could, and we need that assassin's mindset to help destroy our greatest threat. I'm sorry about your loved ones passing, but I'm ot the right one to talk to about this. Not now." Bubsy pauses to look at his hand and silently mourns the loss of his wedding ring before continuing, "so join me on this quest to save the world… Maybe then can your heart be healed."

Gadget nods in support of Bubsy's monologue. Gadget grabs Wick's jacket and holds it up to Sol Crima, who smiles in eager anticipation. Gadget demands, "alright blood beast, find the source of this blood!" The hound nods, then Gadget and Bubsy ride atop the monster. It crashes out the window and rides the night sky.

The farmer screams, "well fuck me I guess!"