A/N: this episode is slightly AU since it doesn't exactly fit into the timeline for Season 1, but Bones' time is fluid at best. The words I used for this chapter were coax, Cantilever, and canoe.

Jack Hodgins had the reputation of being a disagreeable man…and he was proud of it.

Having a hard time getting along with others seemed to be a Hodgins family trait, and being the family's scion, he was no exception to that rule. Both of his parents tended toward grumpiness, as did both sets of grandparents. In fact, one of his grandfathers was a full-fledged, ornery curmudgeon…achieving such an advanced state of crustiness that it often left Hodgins awestruck. "Yeah…he's a sorry old bastard…and someday, if I'm lucky, I might end up being just like him…"

Having just been scolded once again by Dr. Goodman because of his refusal to play nice with others, a surly Hodgins had retreated to his lab, determined not to concern himself with what others thought of him…especially not that jackass who was his boss. Instead, he mumbled curses under his breath as he checked his dishes of slime mold, snapping the thick rubber band around his wrist periodically in an attempt to calm down.

Truth be told, most of the time, Hodgins actually preferred being alone. Probably because he was an only child who'd been sent away to an exclusive prep school for exceptionally brilliant children, he'd never developed the ability to tolerate stupidity in others, and since he found most people to be incredibly stupid, it was mentally exhausting having to deal with those of average intelligence on a daily basis. He simply couldn't handle the inanity. In fact, that was one of the reasons he'd chosen to study entomology…most people didn't like insects or other sorts of creepy crawlers, but he loved them, both because he found them fascinating and also because their presence often served to keep random visitors away from his domain.

The consequence arising from this constant sense of disdain for society was that he only had one real friend…the perpetual oddity also known as Zack Addy. Zack was at least as smart as he was, and while the young man was extremely goofy, he was also a fairly decent companion, always up for watching Firefly reruns or having cockroach races, and sharing an interest in trying to find new ways to blow things up. In some ways, Zack was the younger brother Hodgins had never had, even if the kid was slightly on the weird side. It was also true that Zack never seemed to mind Hodgins' acerbic wit, probably because he didn't have much of a sense of humor of his own nor many other real friends, either.

As he watched his Dermestid beetles, fascinated as they stripped burnt flesh from a bone, Hodgins nodded to himself. Even though he worked with several very intelligent people at the Jeffersonian, he still had trouble relating to most of them…except for Dr. Brennan. She was different from the rest of them in that she didn't expect him to engage in the expected social niceties. All she needed from him was competence in completing his work accurately, and in a timely manner. He admired her incredible intellect as well as her single mindedness in the study of forensics, even if on occasion she became so focused on her work that she sometimes forgot to eat. However, now she had Angela to help remember those pesky details…

Angela… Hodgins sighed softly as he thought about the beautiful artist Brennan had hired to do facial reconstructions for the Medico-Legal lab. It would almost be worth practicing civility if it meant she'd finally begin to take him seriously. As it was, she spent most of their interactions poking fun at his churlishness. In fact, she'd commented recently that the famous grouch on that children's television show should be named Jack instead of Oscar.

In spite of her teasing, Hodgins found her fascinating. In addition to being physically attractive, she was also quite intelligent, but in a different way than Hodgins or Brennan were. She was the consummate computer whiz, inventing several innovative programs to help the team identify crime victims, but she was also an extremely creative thinker, always looking for new ways to combine technology and art. She was definitely a puzzle to be solved…and if she'd give him a chance, he'd enjoy trying to delve into the enigma her personality presented, but she was constantly brushing off his efforts at making small talk. Granted, most people didn't understand his fascination with conspiracy theories, but still…why wouldn't she at least give him a chance?

His musings were interrupted by the chiming of his phone, indicating that he'd missed a call while Dr. Goodman was lecturing him. "Oh great…just what I need…a message from Mom…" He listened sullenly to his voicemail. "Don't forget the Cantilever Company picnic next weekend.," he said in a singsong voice. "Be there at noon. Don't disappoint me again, Son."

Tossing his phone aside, he groaned. "Like there's anyway I could forget about that overdone jamboree, with her calling me five times a day to remind me." He wondered if there was a way he could avoid attending such a stupefyingly dull activity. "But since I skipped the Gala, I probably have to go to the picnic, don't I? Oh well…I can make an appearance and then leave…"

He paused suddenly as he heard Brennan and Angela giggling while they passed by his office. "Or maybe…I can kill two birds with one shiny rock."

He stepped out into the hallway and called to them. "Good morning, ladies…"

Brennan's brow creased in confusion. "Why is it a good morning? It's pouring down rain outside…"

"Never mind, Bren." Turning towards him, Angela offered a flirty grin. "Good morning to you, too, Hodgins." She raised an eyebrow at his appraising smirk. "What's up?"

"Well…" He tried to produce a genuine smile without much success. "...I was wondering if I could coax you two charming scientists into joining me on an outing next Saturday."

Standing with hands on her hips, Angela studied Hodgins with a practiced eye. "What kind of outing?"

He cleared his throat, knowing how ridiculous his proposition would sound, but it was too late to back out now. "Well…see…the Cantilever Group is having its company picnic that day, and I wondered if you'd both like to go with me…you know, as a way to show appreciation for their support of the Jeffersonian…"

Brennan scowled slightly. "I thought that's why we had to go to that gala…"

"That's true, but this will be a more relaxed setting. It'll be a lot more fun…," Hodgins said, hoping he didn't sound desperate.

"Let me guess…" Angela tried to hide her smile at his predicament. "You have to show up for your family's sake…and you want us to go so you'll have someone to talk to…"

"That sounds dreadful." Shaking her head, Brennan held up her hands. "I don't think I can make it…"

Angela turned to her friend in dismay. "Oh, come on, Bren…it'll be fun!"

"What'll be fun?," Booth asked as he walked up to the group.

"Hodgins wants us to go to a company picnic with him." Winking at Booth, Angela nudged Brennan slightly. "Why don't you come, too, Studly? I'm sure Hodgins wouldn't care."

"Nope…of course, I don't care if Booth joins us. The more the merrier…and there'll be free beer and brats…"

"And Brennan's going, too.," Angela quickly added.

"No, I'm not…"

Angela gave her a pointed look. "Yes, you are…"

After glancing at the handsome FBI agent standing next to them, Brennan decided to give in. "Okay…I'll go."

Uncertain about what'd just happened, Booth shrugged. "Well, um…who am I to turn down free beer and brats? Sure, I'll go. What time?"

Pleased that his plan had worked, Hodgins smiled broadly. "Meet me here at the lab at 11:30 next Saturday morning, and you can follow me over to the company's campus."

"Sure." Booth cast a sidelong glance at his partner. "So, um, Bones…want me to pick you up?"

"No, I can get here on my own, Booth. Oh, and since you're here, I have some test results for you to look at…"

Sighing softly at her single-mindedness, Booth nodded. "Fine. Let's go look at test results…"

Oooooooooo

It was a beautiful day for a picnic. The verdant grounds of the Cantilever facility were bathed in brilliant sunshine that afternoon, offering a pleasant backdrop for the scores of employees and their families enjoying the lavishly catered affair. Adults sat in scattered clusters of lawn chairs, laughing and talking together as their children played games on the broad lawns surrounding the gleaming white buildings.

Hodgins had made sure his mother knew he was there, and then he attended to his three guests from the Medico-Legal lab. They appeared to be having a good time, but he still felt somewhat anxious. He hadn't had much time to talk to Angela, and what if they wanted to leave before an opening presented itself? He needed to come up with some sort of reason for them to stay.

Glancing out across the property's placid manmade lake, he noticed some small aluminum boats that had been pulled up onto the shore, and an idea suddenly occurred to him. He walked up to the table where Booth, Brennan, and Angela were sitting. "Hey…why don't we take those canoes for a spin? That'd be fun, right? Maybe we could even have a race to see who can get to the other side faster…"

"Canoe races?" Arching an eyebrow at him, Angela let go a sultry chuckle. "Where I come from we call them 'submarine races'..."

Brennan interrupted her friend with a scoff. "Don't be silly, Angela. That lake is far too shallow to allow a submarine to submerge, let alone race…"

"Come on, Bren…," Angela giggled. "Hasn't anyone ever invited you to go watch the submarine races with them?"

Seeing his partner's confusion, Booth quickly explained. "Bones…'watching the submarine races' is a slang expression for parking in a secluded spot with the intention of making out…"

"Oh…it's an idiomatic expression." She shook her head in annoyance. "Why cloak it in colloquial language? Why not just say 'let's go make out'?"

Shrugging, Booth couldn't hide his smile. "Believe me, I've tried that on occasion, without much success. Hiding the idea in slang seems to work better. I guess it makes it more...inviting...or something." He cleared his throat as he nodded at Hodgins. "I tell you what, Bug Boy…a race sounds like a great idea. Me and Bones will take that red canoe, and you and Angela can have the green one…"

"Oh…" Angela nervously shifted in her seat. "Actually, I don't know how to paddle a canoe…"

Brennan looked at her partner in surprise. "Booth…your body mass combined with mine would be significantly more than that of Hodgins and Angela. They'd have an unfair advantage. Having less mass to move in the canoe means they'd be able to travel at a higher rate of speed…"

"Yeah, but Bones…I'm a lot stronger than Hodgins, so that'll counteract their advantage…"

Angela wasn't sure she liked Booth's tone. "Listen, Hodgins may not be as brawny as you, Studly, but he works out. I'm sure he's strong enough to paddle his own canoe…"

Hodgins glared at the agent standing in front of him. "Besides, I have an advantage of my own. I rowed for Cornell's championship lightweight 4 man team."

Booth tried to hide his grin. "You rowed a boat in a contest? For the lightweight team?"

"Yeah, you know…we raced sculls, and the guys on the crew were all under 160 pounds. Of course, rowing a scull is quite a bit different than paddling a canoe, but I know what I'm doing when it comes to manning a small boat…I'm not like some of the big, ripped, awkward jocks I know, who are so muscled up they can hardly move. They might try to manhandle an oar in hopes of getting somewhere, but without much luck. It takes a lot of endurance and superior intelligence to row competitively. Success lies in finesse, intellectual ability, and oar handling skill, not in brute strength."

"You don't think 'big dumb jocks' can win a canoe race, huh?" Hodgins' snarky comments served to fan Booth's competitive fire. "Fine…put your money where your mouth is, Bug Boy. We're gonna race those canoes across that lake, and the winner has to buy the loser a slice of pie for lunch every day for a week."

"You're on!" Laughing, Hodgins quickly ran down to the lake's shoreline, calling out to his boating partner. "Come on, Angie…sit there in front." Seeing her hesitation as she gingerly stepped into the canoe, he handed her an oar. "Don't worry…I'll tell you what to do with it. Put on one of these life jackets…"

Booth was not to be outdone. He waved to his partner as he jogged down to the shore. "Let's go, Bones…me and you are gonna win ourselves some pie…"

"Booth, you know I don't like cooked fruit…"

"Yeah, but I do." He handed her a life jacket. "Don't forget this." Picking up an oar, Booth got ready to push off from the bank. "Are you ready, Hodgins?"

"Ready. On the count of three: one…two…three!"

The men both pushed off, jumping into the canoes and paddling as fast as they could, each trying to make it across the lake before the other. Brennan had been canoeing in the past, so she was doing a fairly good job of keeping their boat in a straight line. Angela, on the other hand, was having some difficulty.

"Hodgins! I thought you were going to give me directions!," she exclaimed. "What am I supposed to do?"

"Dip the oar in the water and pull it back, okay? Don't go too deep. First one side and then the other. Right…left. Right…left." Hodgins pointed ahead of them. "Hurry up! Go faster! Paddle harder! They're building a lead!"

"Okay! Okay! Take it easy, Hodgins! It's just a silly canoe race…"

"Maybe, but I still want to win! I don't want that muscle bound agent to beat us!"

It seemed that Angela was finally getting the hang of using the paddle, and they were gaining on Booth and Brennan, when suddenly Angela shouted, "Oh no! I dropped my paddle!" She peered over the side of the boat. "Good…it didn't go very far. I'll just reach over and get it…" She leaned over and stretched out her arm. "Almost there..."

Alarmed as the boat pitched to one side, Hodgins yelled, "Angie, wait…don't do tha…"

Hearing a noisy splash behind them, Booth turned to see what had happened. "Uh oh…we need to turn around, Bones! They've capsized their canoe!"

It took a few minutes to get the canoe headed in the right direction, but soon, much to Booth's relief, both Hodgins and Angela were visible, their heads bobbing above the water, buoyed by their life jackets. Angela was facing Hodgins, holding onto the boat with one hand and her other arm draped around Hodgins' neck. He was also holding onto the boat, with an arm wrapped around Angela's waist.

"Are you okay, Angie?," Hodgins whispered, pulling her closer. "You really gave me a scare! I'm glad you were wearing this flotation device."

"I'm fine. I may not be able to paddle a canoe, but I can swim." She sighed as she looked into Hodgins' bright blue eyes. It was so comforting to lean against the rock hard muscles under his tee shirt. "Thanks for rescuing me, Dr. Hodgins…"

"My pleasure, Ms Montenegro. Now we just have to figure out how to get the canoe back to the shore…"

"I think we can wait a minute or two…" Smiling tenderly, Angela gave him a kiss. "Right now, I'm enjoying spending time with you…even if you are all wet…"

"Yeah? Me, too…"

As Booth and Brennan rowed their boat towards the overturned canoe, the anthropologist giggled softly. "I guess you'll have to buy your own pie, Booth. Too bad…I think we probably would've won the race…"

"You're right, Bones. We would've won the race…" Booth grinned as he pointed to the affectionate couple gripping the side of the overturned canoe. "...but it doesn't matter what might've happened with that, right? Anyway, I don't think Hodgins cares about the race results, since it looks like he ended up with the prize he really wanted all along."

Since this is Season 1ish we haven't met Hodgins' brother yet, and he still thinks he's an only child.

If you have time to review, I'd appreciate it. More soon. Laura