A/N: This chapter is set around Season 4. The words I used were evidence, hoodwink, and gardening. It's silly but all in good fun.

Brennan stood with her hands on her hips, surveying their latest crime scene as the FBI's lab techs swept the area for evidence. "Hmm…it would appear that the perpetrator attempted to hoodwink people into thinking that this depression was caused by normal gardening activity. I hypothesize that the suspect removed the soil, interred the remains, and then returned the soil, spreading it over the area around the opening before planting the flowers on top."

"Yeah…" Hodgins nodded as he took some samples of insect larvae from the gaping hole. "...that's the impression I get, too. Unfortunately for whoever the perp was, they chose shade loving annuals to plant in an area that has full sun exposure. That's what alerted the man who takes care of these grounds. I guess when he dug up the dead plants to replace them, he found way more than he bargained for…"

"Wait a minute, Bones…" Booth's pen stopped in mid-air over his notecard. "...did you just use the word 'hoodwink'?"

Her brow furrowed as she thought over his question. "Yes, I suppose so. Why do you ask?"

Trying to suppress his grin, Booth shook his head. "Oh…it's no big deal, I guess. I just never thought I'd hear the word 'hoodwink' used in an actual sentence, that's all…at least not by someone who isn't my grandfather's age…or older…"

Hunkering down to look at the hole containing the remains, Brennan shrugged slightly. "I have a vast vocabulary, Booth, and as a writer, I often experiment with using different words in daily conversations to see how well they'd work between my characters when I write their dialogue." Looking up at him, she grinned. "I assumed, being a college educated man, that you'd know what 'hoodwink' means…but it appears my supposition is incorrect."

"Yes, of course I know what 'hoodwink' means, Bones. That's not the point, okay?" Scowling at her insinuation, he rolled his eyes at her. "Seriously…what's with you and all the big words? Can't you just say what you mean? There's no need to act like some sort of freakish walking dictionary, okay?"

"I did say what I meant…" Standing up, Brennan brushed some soil from her coveralls. "It's not my fault that your vocabulary consists of so few words. There's no need to be offended just because I'm far superior at using the English language than you are."

Exasperated, he crossed his arms over his chest. "Yeah, I guess…but, you know…maybe you should stick to simpler terms that most people understand…you know, like in this case, you could say someone was trying to fool us or trick us…"

"Or that they tried to pull the wool over our eyes.," Hodgins offered hopefully. It was too warm that summer afternoon to sit and listen to his co-workers bicker about word choices. "Or maybe they were simply trying to deceive us, Booth…"

Booth nodded as he pointed towards Hodgins. "There…you see? What's so hard about that? And deceive sounds…official…right?"

Brennan giggled at Booth's annoyance. "Perhaps you'd prefer that I use the term 'hornswoggle' or maybe 'bamboozle' to describe the perpetrator's subterfuge? Or how about 'befuddle' or 'perplex'?

Hodgins nodded as he stowed his samples in his forensics kit. "Befuddle isn't bad…and in my opinion, it does sound better than hoodwink…"

Booth groaned audibly. "Or maybe you could say somebody tried to stump us or they tried to pull a fast one on us…"

Brennan paused, thinking over what Booth had said. "A fast what…"

Booth hesitated for a few seconds. "What?"

"You said 'pull a fast one', but you didn't say what that 'one' was. Is it a wagon? Is it a horse? A tooth?"

"Jesus…" Booth ran a hand over his face. "I don't know what's being pulled, Bones! It's just an idiom…a figure of speech, okay? Anyway, what difference does it make? The point is that using all those weird words just muddles stuff up, okay? There's no reason to use a big, fancy word when a smaller, ordinary one will do, unless you're just trying to show off." Seeing her confusion, he shook his head. "Look, Bones, when I explain something, I usually follow the KISS philosophy. Do you know what that means?" Seeing her blank expression, he continued. "K-I-S-S…it an acronym that stands for 'keep it simple, stupid…"

He knew he'd said the wrong thing as soon as the words left his mouth, and hearing Hodgins' little giggle did nothing to calm his fears. "Um…so…that came out wrong…really wrong…"

"Hmmph!" Brennan was indignant. "So you think that my ability to use a large variety of words makes me seem stupid? Most people think being able to use so many different and complex words correctly is a sign of intellectual superiority."

"I'm sorry, okay?" Booth held up his hands in surrender. "Look…really…that's not what I meant." His mind raced to find an excuse as she glared at him impatiently. "I didn't mean to make it sound like I think you're stupid, Bones, because that's not what I think. I know how smart you are! I get to see that everyday. I'm the stupid one, okay?," he stammered. "I'm a guy who needs things in the simplest terms…I need you to spell things out for me, I guess."

"I see." Biting her lip to keep from laughing out loud, Brennan pointed to the remains. "Well, I'll attempt to simplify the current situation for you. Hopefully, you can follow along with what I'm saying." She exhaled slowly before beginning her explanation in her best 'teacher voice'. "A bad person killed someone and then dug a big hole here in this garden to put the dead person in. The bad person tried to hide the bad thing that had been done by putting pretty flowers on top of the filled in hole to trick the good guys, hoping the good guys wouldn't find the body, but it didn't work out and we found some bones anyway, so now we need to find out who the bad person is, okay? That's our j-o-b."

Booth sighed softly. There was no use being frustrated with her antics, since she'd given him exactly what he'd asked for…and besides, she was simply adorable when she tried to make a joke. "Okay, good…I got that. So…why don't you tell Marcus and the rest of the techs what you need to have taken back to the lab, okay?"

"An excellent suggestion…" She paused suddenly, looking at her partner with a silly grin. "I'm sorry, Booth. I meant to say 'good idea'."

He smiled good naturedly as he put his pen and his notecards in his jacket pocket. "Whatever. Come on…let's get the evidence and get out of here. I need a piece of pie."

Oooooooooo

Several months passed. They'd found the perpetrator who'd buried the body in the garden, and had solved several other crimes as well. Now it was time to enjoy the Christmas holidays.

Brennan was quite pleased with herself as she walked into the Hoover carrying a small gift bag, certain she'd found the perfect gift for Booth. After checking in, she took the elevator up to his office.

Booth was surprised to see her in his doorway. "Hey, Bones. What's up? I thought we were gonna meet at the diner for lunch…"

"We're still going to the diner." She placed the gift bag on his desk with a flourish. "However, I have an early Christmas gift for you." She giggled as he eyed the package suspiciously. "Go ahead…open it."

He pulled out the tissue paper and reached inside. "I don't believe this…a word a day calendar? Really?"

"It's perfect for you, isn't it?," she exclaimed gleefully. "This way you can learn a new word every day next year! It'll help you expand your vocabulary, and you won't be so put off when I use complex words. In fact, there may even be words on the calendar that I don't know, and you can teach them to me."

She was delighted at that prospect, and Booth soon found himself willing to agree with her plan. "Oh, okay. I guess it won't hurt for me to improve my vocabulary, but…here's my question, okay? Are you gonna be mad if I know a word and you don't?"

Hesitating slightly, she arched an eyebrow at him. "Well, considering that the odds of that happening are actually quite miniscule…I don't think so."

"Okay, good." He nodded as he rose from his chair and grabbed his jacket. "I'd hate to see you get all bent out of shape over some silly new word…"

"It's not possible for the human skeleton to 'bend out of shape' without extreme pain, Booth, so I doubt I'd be willing to react like that over learning a new term."

"Right." He chuckled as they walked out of his office. "I'm glad we got that straightened out."

"OH! I get it! That was a joke, correct?" She laughed merrily. "You're contrasting being bent out of shape with being straightened out. It's ironic…" She reached over to pat his shoulder. "You really are very good at using the words you do know, Booth. I can just imagine how much more clever your jokes will be when you have more vocabulary to work with…"

"Yep…that's me…I'm always the clever one, making all those jokes."

He made a mental note as they walked to the elevator. I need to find an idiom a day calendar for Bones, don't I? That way, we'll have more stuff to talk about besides weird words…and besides, maybe then this Pinkie can finally beat that Brain…

If you have time to review, I'd appreciate it. More soon. Laura