Demons (DCAU/Comics)
I sit perched on a roof's ledge just like one of the concrete gargoyles around me. My heart feels as though it has grown just as hard as these gothic statues on either side of me. This last week has been pure hell, competing with the worst day of my life when I lost my parents.
It's tested the very limits of my sanity as I teeter on the edge of a dark void that could swallow me whole if I allow it. If I let that happen, I have no idea what will become of me…or I just don't want to acknowledge the consequences.
Stepping over that line will hurl me down a path that will be irrevocable. There will be no going back after this, no returning to the life that I've always known. Things will never be the same ever again once I unleash the demons that I've worked so hard to keep a tight leash on.
I push those thoughts aside as lightning zigzags unexpectedly across the sky, cracking loudly and nearly shaking the building I'm standing on. The smell of rain fills the night air as raindrops begin to fall but it does little to distract me from my target. Absolutely nothing is going to stop me from doing what I should have done years ago.
I watch as an unmarked black van pulls up in front of the hole-in-the-wall hideout he's recently crawled into. I tracked him here three days ago, but I have yet to act. I've been watching and waiting and brewing…biding my time. What I want to do is warring with what I know is right…what I swore to never do years before.
But things have changed drastically and now I'm here plotting and planning my move.
Every moment of my life is now haunted by that moment when I arrived too late to save him. The sound of the explosion, the heat of the blazing fire, the sense of utter dread and anguish that I felt in that moment assaults me at any given moment of the day or night.
Rage wars with an overwhelming sense of failure that I've felt since the day I lost my parents. I wasn't able to save them then and I wasn't able to save him this time either. It's something that I will carry with me for as long as I draw breath.
Deciding that I've waited long enough, I stand to my full height as I pull a razor-sharp Batarang from my utility belt. It's time to put an end to this once and for all, something that I should have done years ago. If I had, then Jason would still be alive.
"So, how are we going to do this?"
"Leave," I growl as my lips curl into a sneer with the intrusion into my personal business.
"I'm not leaving you to do this by yourself," Diana tells me.
"This is a private matter," I hiss, warning her by my tone that she needs to leave right now or reap the consequences. "It's none of your business."
"You're my friend," she stubbornly continues. "I'm not about to let you do this alone. I will take Joker's life."
"I don't want you here," I cruelly ground out as I finally turn to face her to find her dressed head to toe in black. "Joker is my responsibility, not yours."
"I know you, Bruce," she softly says, her voice barely audible above the rain that is beginning to fall harder now. "You do not kill. Taking a life goes against everything that you have ever believed in. That is why I'm going in there with you. I will do it for you."
I stalk straight towards her with fists clenched tightly at my sides beneath my cape, my rage causing my chest to heave. She doesn't flinch, doesn't even take a step back. She just stands there as I close the distance between us as if riding a swell of fury, carrying me closer to her.
"Go home, Diana," I seethe. "I will kill Joker myself. I don't need your help and I definitely don't need your pity."
"Bruce, I know you want to kill him for what he did to Jason," she calmly replies, reaching out to wrap her hand around my fist hidden beneath my cape. "I'm offering to do it for you, so you won't have to choose between vengeance and what you believe in."
Her words slam into me as sure as her fist, stealing my breath. I can hardly form words as I try to register the sacrifice that she is willing to make for me. "Diana…" I whisper her name, shaking my head as rain drips from cowl.
"I know this is not my business nor is it my city, but I want to take the burden from your shoulders, Bruce," she offers again. "Taking a life will stay with you forever. I don't want you to have to live with that guilt."
Hearing it a second time does nothing to lessen the shock that still roils inside my gut. The truth of her words shines brightly in her sapphire eyes that also reveals a shared anguish and a compassion that I feel deep in my bones. She is the only one I know capable of imparting such intense feelings to me.
My chin falls to my chest as I attempt to control the way my heart is hammering. This woman knows me almost better than I know myself, far more than most. She is part of a rarified inner circle of three that truly understand and know me. It's an extraordinary privilege whether she knows it or not.
I avert my eyes under her penetrating stare despite the fact that the lens of my cowl disguises me. "Things have changed, Diana," I state, regaining my self-control once more. "If I had ended Joker years ago, Jason wouldn't have died."
"No, he wouldn't have, but how do you know that someone else wouldn't have taken his life like Bane or Riddler?" she presses. "In our line of work, our days are unfortunately numbered. The risks we take every time we go out are great. There are no guarantees that any of us will make it home tomorrow.
"The risk wouldn't have been so great if I had permanently taken care of Joker a long time ago," I bite back. "It was naïve and foolish of me to believe that I would never have to take a life someday. It was nothing but wishful thinking on my part."
"Fine," she replies, pulling a wet raven curl from her face. "Then, let's go in there and do this."
"I don't need your help," I snap, my eyes narrowing into thin slits as I glare darkly at her.
"I have to disagree," she unexpectedly tells me.
"I never expected that you would agree," I growl as I turn away from her, determined to follow through with my plans.
"Answer me this and I'll let you go in there alone."
I stop in my tracks, glancing back over my shoulder but not turning around. "Fine," I relent for reasons I can't name.
"If you know this is what you need to do…if this is what you firmly believe that needs to be done, then why didn't you do it three nights ago when you tracked Joker here?"
The question nearly buckles my knees. Damn her.
"If you're so willing to go against something that you've believed in since you lost your parents, why didn't you kill Joker three days ago?" she repeats.
She knows she has me and there's little I can do to counter her logic. Why hadn't I taken Joker's life the moment I tracked him here three days ago? Why I have I spent the last three nights brooding and watching instead of taking the action that I'd planned on taking the moment that I arrived at that warehouse as it exploded into deadly flames?
I just stand there, not moving forward and not turning back. I feel like I'm locked in a blinding fog of rage and anguish that I can't possibly break free from no matter how hard I try. I squeeze my eyes closed as the war that's been storming inside of me intensifies. I know killing Joker can't erase the pain that he has caused, but it will keep anymore people I care about from being hurt or killed.
Losing my parents completely devastated me and forever altered the course of my life. Losing Jason tested my sanity. The thought of losing anyone else nearly takes my legs out from under me. What if Joker ever got his hands on Diana? How would I survive it?
I nearly choke on my breath with the thought as I open my eyes to find Diana standing there before me. Her hands move to cup my face, her gaze tender as she stares at me. "I know you, Bruce…and this is not who you are," she softly reminds me. "You have sworn to never take a life…to never become what killed your parents. That is who you are—noble, altruistic, and honorable. That is why you've been up here on this rooftop instead of taking Joker's life."
I know in my heart that she's right. I haven't taken his life because I know that it's not right. It goes against everything that I've ever believed in…ever fought for or against. I want to tell her that she's right, but I can't make my mouth work, so I just stand there as she wraps her arms around me and pulls me into her warm embrace.
I tentatively lift my arms to slip around her, bringing my cape with me to act like a cocoon around us as the rain continues to fall. "He…he took my son," I choke out the words.
I feel her begin to shake, knowing that she feels and shares my pain. "I'm so sorry," she tearfully replies, pulling back to look into my cowled face. The tears that shine in her eyes mingle with the rain. "I wish I could take your pain away, but this isn't the answer."
"I know," I whisper, drawing a shuddering breath. "I…I just can't do it. A part of me wants to, but I can't do it."
She grasps my face with both of her hands, determination alight in her eyes that almost sparkle in the darkness. "Then let's make him pay for his crimes," she suggests, the corners of her lips quirking. "I'll even be your Robin for the night if you want me to."
I swallow hard, wishing Jason were here. If he can't be here, then Diana is the next best thing at this moment. "Joker is mine," I remind her.
"I'm just the sidekick," she reassures me.
"Then, let's do this," I tell her.
"One more thing," she murmurs, pulling my face down to hers.
Her lips connect with mine in a warm, sweet caress that I feel clear down to my toes. I find myself responding to her kiss, my arms tightening their hold on her as I deepen the intimate contact with her. I savor the taste and the feel of her against my lips, my tongue tangling with hers as she steals my breath.
I gasp softly as I reluctantly break the kiss that I already long for more of. "Let's finish this."
"Right behind you," she says with a grin.
Releasing her, I run towards the edge of the roof, jumping off the edge of it and into the night knowing that she'll follow me. I use my cape to control my descent, landing on the sidewalk with a soft thud. I stalk straight towards the front door of the shack, wasting no time by kicking it in with my boot.
Everyone freezes in stunned disbelief to find me standing there filling the doorway with my imposing presence. Joker throws his head back with a cackle as he stands to his feet, his goons scrambling for their weapons as I enter, Diana following behind me.
"Oh, a new Robin," Joker utters with another bone-chilling cackle. "Can't wait to get my hands on her!"
With a fierce growl, I stalk straight towards him, throwing a fist at a thug on my right and throwing another off my back. I don't have to worry about any more of them getting in my way as Diana skillfully begins the task of rounding up Joker's men.
Joker begins to back away from me, holding his hands up before him. "Now, Bats, don't take it personally," he tells me. "I was just having a little fun."
A growl of fury sticks in my throat as I grab him by the neck. I pin him up against the wall before my fist slams into his face. The desire to beat the life out of this psychotic clown is undeniable and yet I know that I can't become what took my parents from me. I won't be that man.
Joker cackles again as blood drips from his nose. "I guess it's time to pay the piper," he says with a laugh. "Or should I say the Bat?"
My fist slams into his face again, breaking his nose. "You're going to jail."
A choked chortle escapes as blood splatters from his lips. "You know…I'll find…a way out."
"And I'll be there to stop you," I rasp, knocking him out with my fist.
Turning, I find Joker's gang already piled neatly in the corner ready for the police to haul them away, a proud smirk on Diana's face. I feel a small sense of peace knowing Joker is off the streets once more. The pain and anguish are still right there beneath the surface. I know that it will stay with me for a long time, but it feels slightly more manageable especially with her by my side.
The corner of my mouth twitches as I stare at her, momentarily admiring her handiwork. My demons have been locked away once more…at least for the moment…and I know it has everything to do with her. For that alone, I'll be eternally grateful.
"Let's get out of here," I tell her as I walk straight towards the door.
"Right behind you, partner," she murmurs as she follows behind me.
A/N: A little Wonderbat twist on a storyline that desperately needed it. :)