Chapter 1: Bad Guys Anonymous
"You sure about this, Ralph?" the little girl standing next to him asked as they stepped out of Flynn's arcade into the afternoon sun. She stood so short that the top of her disproportionately large head barely reached Ralph's knee. She wore a mint colored hoodie and a skirt that appeared to be made out of a paper candy cup over a pair of candy-striped stockings. Her hair was licorice black, contrasting her pale features and was held up in a ponytail with a red licorice ribbon along with a dozen or so pieces of hard candy stuck in her locks.
"Not really, Vanellope, so you having doubts isn't exactly helping," Ralph grumpled as he adjusted the strap of the burgundy overalls he now wore over an orange t-shirt, the other, broken strap hanging loosely. He glanced down at stack of fliers he held, quickly reading over the information about the first meeting of Bad Guys Anonymous.
"Don't get me wrong, Ralph, you definitely need something to with your time other than sitting around all day being mopey. And yeah, since we've got here, I've done a few races with Turbo," Vanellope replied, adjusting the stack of fliers she had tucked under her arm, "But the rest of these guys….I just don't trust them. They seen kind of shifty."
"Well, I guess that's why we should be doing this," Ralph replied, "Me and the other guys in my old group used to get that reaction all the time. Do you think I'm shifty?"
"No," Vanellope admitted with a sigh, "I guess you're right."
"I hope so," Ralph stated with a sigh of his own.
"So, where should we put these things?" Vanellope inquired.
"Basically anywhere we can," Ralph answered as he handed her a stapler, "Telephone poles and stuff like that. And try to not put your eye out, okay?"
"You got it!" Vanellope replied before she disappeared in a flash of light blue pixels. Glancing down the street, Ralph smirked as he saw Vanellope reappear and begin securing the fliers to a telephone pole.
Walking down the street, Ralph began using his own stapler to secure the fliers to telephone poles as he went. Turning the corner at the end of the street, he almost bumped into someone, causing Ralph to stop short as a few fliers flew from his hands.
"Whoa there!" the person, a tall blonde woman in a leather jacket said, holding up her hands in an attempt to stop Ralph from knocking her over.
"Geez, sorry, Emma," Ralph apologized as he grabbed a few of the loose fliers out of the air, "Didn't see you there."
"Don't worry about it, Ralph," Emma replied with an amused chuckle, before looking curiously at the fliers fluttering to the ground, "What've you got there?"
"Um…." Ralph replied, freezing in nervousness as he watched Emma stoop down and pick one up.
"Bad Guys Anonymous?" Emma questioned, her eyes narrowing in confusion as she read over the flier before turning her attention to Ralph, "What is this?"
"It's like it says on the flier," Ralph explained awkwardly, "It's a meeting….for bad guys."
"Ralph….you realize they already have their own little club, right?" Emma questioned, quirking an eyebrow at him.
"I….I know," Ralph replied, scratching the back of his head nervously, "But this is….this is different."
"How so?" Emma pressed.
"Well, you see….you saw my movie right?" Ralph questioned.
"Yeah," Emma answered with a nod of her head, trepidation creeping into her features.
"Well, you know that I went to the same thing there," Ralph continued, "With all the other bad guys from the arcade."
"So….you're setting up a support group….for bad guys?" Emma questioned.
"Yeah….I guess I am," Ralph answered.
"Look, I don't want to tell you what to do with your time, Ralph," Emma said with a sigh, "But are you sure this is a good idea?"
"...No, I'm not, and half of it is people keep doubting me on this idea," Ralph answered with a hint of annoyance.
"Well….look, maybe that should tell you something," Emma continued, "I mean….where are you even holding this thing?"
"The Ink and Paint Club," Ralph answered, his awkwardness leaving him.
"The Ink and….Jessica," Emma sighed in annoyance, "Look Ralph, I'm just not sure it's a good idea to gather all these….people in one place."
"What's it to you?" Ralph questioned, slowly growing more irritated.
"I'm the Sheriff remember?" Emma answered, "It's my job to worry about the public safety."
"The public safety?" Ralph asked incredulously, "This is a support group. What exactly do you think we'll be doing?"
"I….I don't know!" Emma replied defensively, "Look, Ralph….I'm just saying….these people…."
"What about these people?" Ralph pressed, his voice on edge.
"They're dangerous, Ralph," Emma insisted, "They….some of them have killed people."
"So have I," Ralph replied coldly.
"What?" Emma questioned in surprised confusion, "Ralph, what are you talking about?"
"In my game," Ralph elaborated, "I don't know how many times I've killed Felix over the years."
"Wha….Ralph that's….that's not the same," Emma tried to argue.
"Isn't it?" Ralph asked, glaring angrily at Emma, "These villains, these people….they didn't ask to be the bad guys, someone made them that way. Made them do the things they did. It's their job, just like it's mine. A job, I might add, none of us asked for."
"Ralph…." Emma tried to say, a sad look on her face.
"Look, I got to get the rest of these fliers put up, so I think I'm going to head out," Ralph stated as he turned away from Emma and began walking down the street, "Besides, I'm sure you're busy protecting the Magic Kingdom from the bad guys. Keep up the good work, Sheriff."
Emma stared at Ralph in speechless shock as he walked away before disappearing around a corner. Emma stood looking after Ralph for a few moments, a look of confusion and hurt on her face. Glancing down, Emma noticed the flier she still held in her hand. Holding it up, she read over again before a resolute expression crossed her face. Dropping the flier onto the ground, Emma turned on her heel and made her way down the street.
As she walked away and the flier fluttered to the ground, a large, toothy grin appeared in the air, along with cloud of purple smoke. Quickly, the smoke condensed into a purple and lavender cat with bright yellow eyes. Grinning broadly, he pinned the flier to the ground before reading it over.
"Well, well, well," the cat muttered to himself, "What do we have here?"
Later,
Night had fallen over the Downtown area of the Magic Kingdom, the darkness kept at bay by the lights coming off of the buildings and streetlamps. While some of the businesses stood out with bright lights and eye catching displays, another was subdued and unassuming. Situated down a back alley, next to a loading dock for another building, was a common metal door. Above the door, there was a simple sign that read "The Ink and Paint Club."
Emma stomped up to the door and knocked hard on it, the pounding of her fist echoing into the room on the other side. After a moment, a panel in the door opened and a pair of dark brown eyes looked out.
"What's the….Oh," a deep voice said from behind the door as the eyes widened in surprise.
"Open the door, Kronk," Emma said, "I need to speak with Jessica."
"I, uh, I don't know who this Kronk you speak of is," the voice replied.
"Kronk, I know you work nights here," Emma stated with an exasperated sigh, "I don't care, now open the door!"
"Uh sure thing, Emma, I mean, boss, I mean, Sheriff!" the voice yelped before the panel slid shut and the door opened, allowing Emma to walk inside, briskly passing the burly man guarding the door and making her way down the hall beyond.
Walking down the hall, Emma came to a red curtain draped over a doorway and pushed her way through it. The room beyond was a stark contrast to what had come before it. The room was a large, tasteful club decorated in a Jazz Age, Art-Deco style, with white plaster walls. One wall was dominated by a large, white bar with racks of alcoholic beverages stacked behind it and a small army of bartenders manning it, including a cartoon octopus who was busy shaking drinks before handing them off to the waiting penguin waiters. The other wall was occupied by a large, raised stage, the center of which extended into the middle of the room, surrounded by dozens of small, circular tables covered in white tablecloths. A jazz band made up of cartoon crows dressed in tuxedos was playing a smooth melody on stage, the bass drum of their drum set reading "Jim and the Crows."
After a quick scan of the room, Emma spotted who she was looking for and made her way over to the bar. She quickly walked up to a pair at the bar, a middle-aged, pudgy man in a black suit and a similarly aged female bartender with curly brown hair. The man looked at Emma with surprise as she approached.
"Sheriff?" the man asked in confusion, "What are you doing here?"
"Am I not welcome here, Eddie?" Emma questioned as she stopped in front of him.
"No, I mean, you are, I just never see you here is all," the man, Eddie, explained.
"Not really my place," Emma stated, "I'm actually here to ask your girlfriend a question."
"Oh, um, sure," the bartender said in surprise, "What can I help you with Sheriff?"
"I need to talk to Jessica, Dolores," Emma explained, "Where is she?"
"I...uh…" Dolores mumbled nervously, glancing over Emma's shoulder.
"It's alright, Dolores," a voice said from behind Emma, "I'm always willing to talk to the clientele."
Turning around, Emma found a woman looking at her from her seat at a table nearby. She was a tall and stunningly beautiful woman with red hair that fell past her shoulders and draped over the left side of her face. She wore a red dress that left very little to the imagination and exposing most of her cream-colored skin. Sitting next to her was a short, white rabbit dressed in red overalls.
"Have a seat, won't you, Emma?" the woman requested, pushing an available chair away from the table with her foot, not looking at the blonde as she spoke.
Emma hesitated for a moment before walking over and sitting at the table, pulling the chair up before resting her crossed arms on the tabletop.
"Evening, Emma," the rabbit greeted with a friendly smile.
"Evening, Roger," Emma answered with a nod, her eye focused on the woman as she finished the martini she had been drinking, "Jessica."
"Can I help you with something, Emma?" the woman, Jessica, asked as she set her glass back down, not meeting Emma's gaze.
"I need to talk to you," Emma stated.
"What about?" Jessica questioned as she absentmindedly played with her glass.
"Ralph," Emma answered.
Jessica froze for a moment, remaining perfectly still before slowly raising her gaze to meet Emma's.
"Roger, can you be a dear and fetch me another drink?" Jessica asked, holding her glass out blindly to Roger, her eyes locked with Emma.
"Uh, sure thing, Jessica," Roger answered, taking the glass while glancing nervously between the two woman as he felt the tension in the air, "One martini, coming up."
"Take your time," Jessica stated as Roger got up and quickly retreated from the table.
The two women stared at each other for a few silent moments, Jessica slightly pushed back from the table with her legs crossed and her hands resting on her knee while Emma was pulled up close, leaning against the table like a predator ready to pounce.
"So, you wanted to talk about Ralph?" Jessica questioned.
"Yep," Emma answered simply.
"I don't really see how I can help you, Emma," Jessica replied, glancing down as she played with her fingernails, "Ralph is a personal friend, but I would presume the person who knows the most about Ralph is Ralph, so maybe you should be talking to him."
"Cut the crap, Jessica," Emma snapped, "You know what I'm actually here about."
"So, you've heard of Ralph's idea?" Jessica questioned, "I knew he was putting the fliers up today but I have to say that I didn't expect for you to show up this quickly."
"Wait, you knew I was going to come here?" Emma questioned in surprise.
"I've known you since I got here, Emma," Jessica replied, leveling her gaze at Emma, "I knew you'd be here the moment I agreed to let Ralph use the back room for his meetings."
"So, you're fine with this….Villains Anonymous?" Emma inquired.
"Bad Guys Anonymous, or Bad Anon for short," Jessica answered pointedly, though her features remained neutral, "If we're going to talk about it, we should talk about it right."
"Don't patronize me, Jessica," Emma said irritatedly.
"What exactly were you planning on doing here, Emma?" Jessica questioned, "Were you going to try and talk me out of this? I'm guessing you already tried to do that with Ralph."
"I just….I just don't understand," Emma admitted, "Why would you want….Don't you see the problem…."
"The problem of what? Having so many villains in one place?" Jessica asked, "You don't come to my club often, do you?"
Emma was about to answer before she realized the question had been rhetorical.
"Look around you, Sheriff," Jessica said as she gestured around the club, "Tell me what you see."
Frowning at Jessica, Emma began looking around, before surprise crossed her face. The club was largely full, but what caught Emma's attention was that most of the patrons were people she recognized as villains. Many were sitting and chatting together, enjoying the drinks the penguin waiters brought to them.
"You let all of them come here?" Emma questioned in surprise, "How long has this been going on?"
"Since I opened," Jessica answered.
"Why?" Emma asked, dumbfounded.
"Why not?" Jessica countered, "Where else would they go? Granny's? Tiana's Place? Fine establishments like those wouldn't want criminals or worse as their clientele, would they? So, they come here, because everyone is welcome at Ink and Paint Club."
"I don't get it, Jessica," Emma said in confusion, "You're a good guy."
"You really don't get it, do you?" Jessica asked rhetorically before leaning forward, "Let me give it to you straight then. There are no good or bad guys here in the Magic Kingdom, at least not based on what they did before they got here. Because they had no choice in that, you see. The writers of the story did. So, I figure, why punish them for crimes they didn't really commit in the first place?"
Emma sat in stunned silence for a moment, mulling over what Jessica had said.
"Basically, it's like I always say," Jessica continued, shrugging her shoulders as she leaned back and crossed her legs again, "We're not bad, we're just drawn that way."
Roger returned with Jessica's drink as Emma continued to think about Jessica's words.
"There you are, sweetheart," Roger said proudly as he handed Jessica the drink, "Just how you like it."
"Thank you, darling," Jessica said as she leaned down and kissed Roger on the head before turning her attention back to Emma, "Is there anything else you'd like to discuss, Sheriff?"
"No….I think that will be enough," Emma replied, shaking her head as she stood up from her seat.
"Well, it was wonderful chatting with you then," Jessica stated, "Hang around if you'd like. It looks like you might need a drink."
Emma nodded absentmindedly before wandering over to the bar and sitting on one of the stools.
"What will it be?" the octopus behind the bar asked.
"Um….nothing right now, thanks," Emma answered, earning a nod from the octopus before he walked away.
Emma fell into her thoughts again as the bartender left, thinking over what Jessica had told her. She was so deep in her thoughts that she didn't notice at first as someone sat down next to her.
"Penny for your thoughts, Swan?" a British-accented voice asked from her side.
Looking up, Emma found a man roughly her own age sitting next to her. He had a lean figure along with short black hair and stubble growing on his chin. He was dressed black clothes that looked like they belonged to a sailor from the eighteenth century and a small earring dangled from one ear. His most distinctive trait, however, was the iron hook he had in place of his left hand.
"Ugh, what do you want, Hook?" Emma questioned with an annoyed tone.
"You seemed a bit perturbed and I wanted to see if I could help," the man, Hook, explained, flashing a charming smile at her.
"Just a little lost in thought is all," Emma elaborated, "Thinking some things over."
"Well, I always find a good drink helps loosen up my thoughts," Hook stated, "Why don't I buy you one?"
"Look, Hook, I don't know what you're…." Emma began to say but paused as she noticed the earnest, friendly smile on his face. After a few more moments of consideration, Emma sighed and nodded, giving Hook a small nod.
"Sure, why not?" Emma stated with a chuckle.
"Excellent," Hook grinned before catching the bartender's attention, "Two of my usual, my eight-legged friend."
"Two rum and coke's coming up!" the octopus called back as he began making the drinks.
"Let me guess, Captain Morgan's?" Emma ventured, quirking an eyebrow at Hook.
"Bacardi, actually," Hook corrected, earning a laugh from Emma as the bartender slid them their drinks, the pirate quickly handing one to the sheriff, "Cheers."
"Cheers," Emma said with a grin before they both to a drink.
From her position at her table, Jessica smiled at the sight before taking a sip of her own drink. As she put it down, another person sat in the chair across from her. Looking up, Jessica's smile grew as she found Persephone seated before her, the goddesses eyes focused on Hook and Emma.
"Seph," Jessica greeted.
"Hey Jess, hey Rog," Seph said absentmindedly, watching the two at the bar for a few more moments before turning her attention towards Jessica, "What's she doing here?"
"She wanted to talk about the little idea you put in Ralph's head," Jessica explained, "I gave her some things to think about and I guess she decided to stick around and have a drink."
"With Hook?" Seph pressed with a grin.
"Evidently," Jessica stated.
"How long has he been barking up that tree?" Seph pondered.
"Since before either of us were here," Jessica answered.
"They're pretty cute together," Seph stated, "So, she wanted to talk to you about Bad Guys Anonymous?"
"She did," Jessica confirmed.
"You convinced her not to worry about it?" Seph asked.
"I convinced her to think about it," Jessica answered, "We'll see what she thinks in the long run. This does mean that word is getting out though."
Reaching under the table, Jessica pulled out a copy of the flier before sliding it across the table to Seph.
"That means you should probably try and get ahead of it, don't you think?" Jess questioned.
"Now's a good a time as ever," Seph agreed with a smile and a nod as she picked up the flier and stood from her chair, "Wish me luck?"
"Like you've ever needed it," Jessica replied with a playful smile before taking another sip of her drink as Seph giggled and ran off.
In another part of the club, a group of people sat around one of the larger tables near the stage. Eight chairs surrounded the table, though two were currently empty. Hades sat next to one of the empty chairs, accompanied by a diverse group of individuals.
One was a beautiful woman in her early middle-ages with jet black hair and even darker eyes. Next to her sat a slightly older, dangerously skinny woman, her hair white on one side and black on the other. Two men sat at the table as well, one of Arabian descent with a pointed black beard and dressed in regal black and crimson robes. The other was a middle aged man with brown hair and dressed in fine clothes, a walking stick leaning against the table to his side. It was the third woman, however who drew the most attention. A tall, rotund woman, she had purple and black skin with short, slicked-back, white hair. Her most noticeable feature however was that past her waist, instead of legs and feet, was a collection of octopus tentacles.
"Where'd your wife run off too, Hades?" the white and black haired woman questioned as she sipped on the drink in her hand.
"Not sure, Cruella" Hades replied, glancing over in the direction she had gone when she left, "But here she comes now."
"Speaking of missing persons, what happened to Hook?" the black haired woman inquired.
"He went to grab a drink at the bar, Regina," Seph explained as she sat down in the empty seat next to Hades.
Looking over at the bar, the Arabian man sighed and rolled his eyes.
"Mercy," he groused, "He's chatting up the Sheriff again."
"Emma's here?" Regina questioned in surprise as he followed the man's gaze.
"Evidently," the other man said with a chuckle as he looked over his shoulder at the bar as well, "That man does not know when to give up."
"Look who's talking, Gold," the octopus woman laughed as the man turned back and shot a glare at her.
Hades chuckled at the interaction before noticing the flier that Seph had laid facedown on the table in front of her.
"What you got there, sweet thing?" Hades questioned.
"Oh this?" Seph questioned with faux innocence as she shrugged, "Nothing."
Quirking an eyebrow at his wife, Hades picked the flier up off the table before lifting it up so he could read it. After scanning his eyes over the document, Hades groaned.
"Is this what you and Ralph were talking about the other night?" Hades asked, earning a smile and a nod from Seph, "Oh, good grief."
"What?" the octopus woman questioned, "What is it?"
"You're not going to like it, Ursula," Hades said wearily as he held the flier out for her to take.
Reaching across the table with one of her tentacles, Ursula grabbed the flier before bringing it over to her, transferring it to her hands as she read.
"Bad Guys Anonymous?" Ursula questioned, a look of disgust on her face.
"Bad Guys what?" Cruella asked in confusion.
"Who's idea was this?" Ursula inquired.
"Wreck-It Ralph's," Hades answered.
"Wreck-It….Let me see that," the Arabian man said as he snatched the flier away from Ursula, and quickly read the flier over before rolling his eyes, "Of all the-"
"Okay, this is getting stupid," Regina declared in frustration, "What does the damn flier say, Jafar?"
"It's an open invitation to the first meeting of Bad Guys Anonymous here at the Club this Tuesday night," Jafar explained, reading the details from the flier.
"What, exactly, is Bad Guys Anonymous?" Gold questioned, leaning an elbow on the table as he spoke.
"It's a support group," Seph spoke up, a hopeful smile on her face as all eyes fell on her.
"A support group for what?" Cruella questioned, arching a delicate eyebrow.
"Bad guys," Seph explained with a shrug, "Villains. You know….you guys."
There was a silent moment as the others stared at Seph.
"Exactly what do we need support for?" Jafar inquired.
"For all the stuff you go through," Seph answered, her smile diminishing, "Being looked down upon and ostracized for basically just doing your job. Jobs you didn't even choose. Didn't any of you watch Ralph's movie?"
The deafening silence that followed answered Seph's question.
"This seems like exactly the type of plan your wife would come up with, Hades," Gold commented.
"Tell me about it," Hades groused, before shying away from Seph as she shot him a withering glare.
"It's a nice gesture, honey, but this is all the support I need," Ursula stated before she drained what remained of her drink from its glass.
"I don't think that's emotionally or physically healthy, Ursula," Seph pointed out.
"Yeah, but it tastes great," Ursula replied with a chuckle.
"But really Seph, how many people do you think are going to show up for this?" Regina questioned.
"Especially when Maleficent catches wind of it," Jafar added.
"She's not going to like it, I can tell you that much," Cruella stated.
"Not that she likes much of anything," Gold said with a snort.
"Well, I know one person who's going," Seph said resolutely, crossing her arms in front of her chest.
"Oh?" Hades asked with a chuckle, "And who's that?"
Seph merely turned her gaze towards Hades. After a few moments, Hades' smile dropped as realization struck him.
"Oh no," Hades began to argue, "Oh no, no, no."
"You have to go," Seph pleaded, clasping her hands in front of her, "Ralph's your friend, and I think it could be really good for you."
"Okay, one, Ralph is more of an acquaintance," Hades replied, holding up his fingers as he counted, "And two, I am perfectly fine, not a care in the world."
Seph's eyes narrowed at Hades, before her expression began excited as she looked past him.
"Oh hey, is that Hercules!?" Seph said with an ecstatic voice.
"WHAT!?" Hades bellowed as he spun around, his flaming hair and skin turning an angry shade of red, burning twice as hot as they had been a moment before. However, all Hades found behind him was the gaping stares of the other club patrons, the music from the band grinding to a halt. Realizing what had happened, Hades slowly relaxed, turning back to blue as rage was replaced by awkwardness on his features. Slowly, Hades turned around, finding Seph smirking triumphantly at him with her arms crossed. Calmly, Hades clasped his hands together and rested them on his lap, his expression changing to one of calm serenity.
"This proves nothing," Hades declared quietly as the band began to play again.
"Mhm," Seph hummed, unconvinced, "You're going."
"I'm not," Hades argued, "There's nothing you can do to-"
"Please, Nightlight?" Seph begged, clasping her hands together again as she stuck her bottom lip out and looked at him with wide, watery eyes, "For me?"
Hades was silent for a few moments, watching his wife as she leaned in closer, her bottom lip starting to tremble.
"Fine!" Hades declared in frustration, "Fine, I'll go to the stupid meeting. Now stop looking at me like that!"
"Yay!" Seph shouted happily as she wrapped her arms around her husband, "I knew I could convince you! As a reward, I'm going to get you your favorite drink! Love you!"
"Love you too," Hades grumbled as Seph skipped away from the table. Turning back to the table, he found his friends all grinning at him. Raising her hand, Ursula made a quick swinging motion with a closed fist while mimicking the sound of a cracking whip with her mouth.
"Oh shut it," Hades growled as he glared at his friends.
"You'll have to tell us what this meeting was like," Cruella stated with a chuckle, "I want to hear all the details."
"I can do you one better," Hades replied, grinning, "You all can come with me, figure out what all this is about together. What do you say?"
There was a pause as the villains silently glanced at one another. Then, all at once, they all began to stand from their seats, offering excuses for turning in for the night. Hades watched them all go, glaring at them as they left before throwing his hands into the air in frustration.
"You guys suck!" Hades declared as his friends abandoned him, before leaning his elbow on the table and resting his chin on his hand, angrily pouting at everyone and everything.
A/N: This chapter was a blast to write. Getting to do all the character interactions was loads of fun, especially with all the villains. I hope you guys enjoyed it as much as I did! As always feedback and critiques are always welcome, so please review! Later!