Chapter 3: Opening Up
"What am I doing here?" Ralph sighed for what must have been the upteenth time that day. Sitting in one of the metal folding chairs that had been set up in a small circle at the center of the room, he glanced around at his surroundings.
The back room of the Ink and Paint Club seemed to be a sort of storage overflow room, taking in what was rarely used and couldn't fit into the more dedicated storage rooms. The few boxes and crates that called the room home had been pushed into one of the corners to make space for the chairs and a cheap, folding table had been placed against one of the walls, a small collection of snacks laid out on its surface.
Having taken in his surroundings for the tenth time in five minutes, Ralph turned his attention back to himself, picking a bit of lint off of his overalls with one hand while nervously drumming his fingers on his chest with the other one. Every second seemed to last an eternity as Ralph sat alone in the room and for the first time he wished he had a watch so he could actually know what time it was.
Just as Ralph was about to reach his breaking point and call the whole thing off, he heard the sounds of someone approaching the room from down the hall. Sitting up in his chair, Ralph watched the door intently before he saw the shadow of someone standing on the other side through the space under the door. There was a long pause as the person on the other side simply stood there, as if considering their options. Then, with a dramatic sigh, the door was pushed open and Hades stepped into the room.
There was a an awkward, quiet pause as the two regarded each other from across the room, Hades' narrowed, yellow eyes meeting Ralph's wide, brown ones as the god drummed his fingers on the door, his extended arm keeping it propped open. After what seemed like another eternity, Hades stepped forward and let the door swing close behind him.
"Ralph," Hades greeted neutrally, his eyes scanning the room around him.
"Oh, uh, hey Hades," Ralph replied in a nervous, friendly manner, jumping to his feet so quickly that his chair almost toppled over behind him, "Th-Thanks for coming."
"It's not like I had a choice," Hades grumbled as he walked over to the snack table, "After all, it was my wife that planted this stupid idea in your thick skull, so unless I want to sleep on the couch for the rest of eternity, I had to be here."
"Oh," Ralph replied, his shoulders slumping slightly, "Well….thanks all the same, I guess."
"Don't mention it," Hades stated as he picked up a cookie and popped it into his mouth, "But I'll tell you right now, if this turns into some sort of intervention, I'm burning this building to the ground. Understand?"
"Um….okay?" Ralph replied, taken aback slightly by Hades' threat.
"Good," Hades stated before walking over to the chair directly across from Ralph and sat down, prompting Ralph to do the same.
"So," Hades said after a quiet moment, "How does this work?"
"Well, I was going to wait a little before getting started," Ralph replied.
"Hate to break it to you, Ralph," Hades stated as he quirked an eyebrow at the wrecker, "But I know a lot of villains around here and I feel pretty confident in saying that no one else is showing up."
As Hades finished speaking, a knock came from the door before it opened just enough to allow Turbo to stick his head in. Turbo's yellow eyes were wide as they flitted back and forth between Hades and Ralph, who were both looking at him in surprise.
"Um," Turbo said to break the silence, pausing to clear his throat before continuing, "I'm guessing I made it in time for the meeting?"
"Uh….yeah!" Ralph replied, breaking out of his surprise and smiling at Turbo, "Come on in, Turbo. Grab a seat wherever you'd like. We've got snacks and refreshments over on the table too."
"Great," Turbo replied, grabbing a cookie off the table before grabbing a chair.
"I have to say, I'm surprised you came, Turbo," Ralph commented as the smaller villain pulled himself up into the chair.
"Well, I mean, we're from the same movie, got to stick together, right?" Turbo replied with a nervous laugh that caught both Ralph and Hades' attentions.
"Right," Ralph agreed, shooting a glance at Hades, who merely shrugged in reply.
"Also, I was worried that you'd be here all by yourself if I didn't come, but I guess I was wrong," Turbo continued as he turned his attention towards Hades and sneered, "So, I guess what I heard about your wife strong arming you into coming was true."
"Keep talking, short stuff," Hades growled at Turbo, his eyes narrowing as he leaned closer to the racer, the flames on his head growing larger, "See what happens."
"Oh, I think I might like seeing that," Turbo replied as his form began to glitch and shift with red pixels.
"Guys, guys, come on," Ralph pleaded, holding his hands up in a placating gesture, "We're in the backroom of a bar. There's no need for posturing."
Both Hades and Turbo glanced at Ralph before slowly leaning away from one another, still glaring even as the effects of their powers dissipated.
"Thank you," Ralph said with a smirk, "Now, I'm guessing that this will be all we're getting for our first meeting, so-"
Before Ralph could finish, the door swung open for a third time and a man swept dramatically into the room. He was a tall, slim man with black, slicked back hair and a pale complexion. We wore a black and gold tunic with black pants under long green and gold coat that hung to the back of his booted calves. He scanned the room with green eyes, a mischievous smirk on his lips as he did so.
The others openly stared at the man as he observed the room before his eyes finally fell upon them.
"Well, I hope I'm not too late for the meeting," the man commented with a smooth voice and an English accent.
"Loki?" Hades questioned after another long moment of silence, "What the heck are you doing here?"
"This is a meeting for so called bad guys, isn't it?" Loki questioned, quirking an eyebrow at the others, "Do I not qualify?"
"Uh, of course you do," Ralph answered quickly, "Though….you're not from the Magic Kingdom, so I'm confused about how you found out about the meeting."
"Oh, well that's an easy question to answer," a new voice replied, originating right next to Ralph's ear, causing him to jump in surprise, almost falling out of his chair in the process. Looking around, Ralph could not find who had spoken until a wide, sharp-toothed grin suddenly appeared in the air before him. A moment later, a pair of yellow cat's eyes joined the smile, quickly growing into a full fledged cat's head.
"Cheshire," Ralph growled, narrowing his eyes at the cat as its body materialized beneath the head, "I should have guessed you were the one who told him."
"So terribly clever," Cheshire said without a hint of sarcasm as he floated over to Loki, "That's what I like about you, Ralph."
"Look, Loki," Ralph said with a sigh, "You're welcome to be here, you really are, but I don't want any trouble."
"You would me, Ralph," Loki replied, touching his chest in mock hurt, "When have we ever given you any trouble?"
Ralph chose to not dignify that with a response, electing instead to narrow his eyes at Loki as Cheshire draped himself across the villain's shoulders.
"Point taken," Loki stated with an amused grin as he seated himself in one of the empty chairs while absentmindedly stroking Cheshire's fur.
"Look, are we going to get this show on the road or are we going to wait around to see if anyone else shows up?" Hades questioned with a note of impatience.
"No, I think that's just about everyone," Ralph replied with a small nod, "Already a bigger turnout than I was expecting anyways."
"So, how does this work?" Turbo questioned.
"Yes, Ralph, enlighten us," Loki added, his tone mocking.
Ralph paused again to shoot a glare at Loki.
"Alright man, why are you here?" Ralph questioned directly.
"Do you ask everyone who showed up that question?" Loki asked in turn, quirking an eyebrow at the wrecker.
"No, but that's because I already know," Ralph replied before indicating to the other villains with his hands, "Hades is here because his wife made him and Turbo is here because we're from the same movie. As far as I can tell, you're here to rib me, and I'd rather you just leave now if that's the case instead of you forcing me to make you leave later."
"Honestly, you're right, Ralph," Loki stated with a chuckle, "I came here to see what sort of joke this would all be, but in the end, it just seems rather sad. What are you hoping to accomplish here, Ralph?"
"I'm…." Ralph paused, his face flushing from a mixture of anger and embarrassment, "I'm just trying to help people."
"None of these people asked for your help," Loki pointed out, his tone growing cruel, "None of these people wanted your help."
"Sometimes people don't know how to ask for help, even though they need it," Ralph retorted, "I would know."
"You don't know anything," Loki spat, "You're just a fool who stole a stupid idea he saw in a movie."
Ralph's giant hands clenched into fists as he glared at Loki before he moved to stand up.
"Alright, how about you shut up?" Hades spoke up, narrowing his eyes at Loki, an action that caught Ralph completely off guard, "You might like the sound of your own voice, but it's starting to irritate me."
Loki turned to look at Hades, who was ignoring the way Ralph was blinking owlishly at him.
"Excuse me?" Loki questioned as he narrowed his eyes at Hades.
"You heard me," Hades replied, his firm gaze locked with Loki's, "Look, the fact of the matter is that this wasn't Ralph's idea. It was my wife's. And if you're calling this idea stupid, that means you're calling my wife stupid. And if you're doing that, then you and I are going to need to have some words out in the alley."
Loki held Hades' gaze for a few moments before he smirked and shook his head.
"So, it is true what everyone says," Loki stated, "Persephone really does have you wrapped around her finger."
Hades rolled his eyes at the comment.
"Look, either sit down and shut up or get lost," Hades stated as he eased back into his chair, "I want this to be over with as soon as possible, and you jabbering away is just making it take longer."
"Very well," Loki replied with a grin as he turned his attention back to Ralph, "I do have to say, I am rather morbidly curious. Come now, Ralph. Let's see what you have to offer."
Ralph eyed Loki for a moment before sighing.
"Alright, well the first thing we need to do is the Bad Guy Affirmation," Ralph explained.
"What the heck is that?" Hades questioned, quirking an eyebrow at Ralph as he spoke.
"It's sort of the mantra of this whole gathering," Ralph elaborated, "It's all about accepting who you are."
"Well, that sounds positively saccharine," Loki observed with a mocking grin.
"How does it go, Ralph?" Turbo questioned as he shot a quick glare at Loki.
"Well, usually we stand and hold hands," Ralph explained as he stood up, before he glanced around at the dubious expressions staring back at him, "But we can skip that part this time."
Together, the three villains stood from their chairs, each of them eyeing Ralph as they did.
"Okay, so, repeat after me, I guess," Ralph instructed awkwardly before taking a deep, calming and continuing, "I'm bad and that's good."
Ralph paused to allow the others to repeat, listening while Turbo mumbled it and Hades repeated with a sigh. Loki, for his part, merely chuckled and said nothing.
"I'll never be good, and that's not bad," Ralph continued, Hades and Turbo echoing him as he went, "There is no one I'd rather be but me."
A silence fell over the group as they finished, a surprised expression crossing Turbo's face while a thoughtful look spread over Hades' features. Loki, for his part, merely shook his head and chuckled to himself.
"Well, that is quite the adorable little oath you have there, Ralph," Loki commented as he sat back down, "Truly thought provoking."
"Come on, Loki," Hades said with a sigh, taking his seat again as well, "How many times do we have to tell you to keep your mouth shut before we just throw you out of here?"
Loki held his hands up in a placating gesture and said nothing more, though his smug smile remained.
"So, that was pretty interesting, I guess," Hades commented as he turned his attention back towards Ralph.
"What do we do now?" Turbo questioned as he looked to Ralph as well.
"Well, now we usually share stories about how we've been effected by being bad guys and offer advice to one another," Ralph explained before noting the dubious looks he was getting, "I guess I'll go first."
Standing up from his chair again, Ralph gave a quick wave towards the others.
"I'm Ralph," he said, earning silent looks of confusion from the others, "Uh, you're supposed to say, 'Hi, Ralph.'"
"Why?" Turbo questioned in confusion.
"I-It's just how things are done, I don't know," Ralph replied quickly, giving Turbo a helpless shrug. In turn, Turbo looked over at Hades, who sighed and rolled his eyes as he looked.
"Hi, Ralph," Hades said, quickly echoed by Turbo.
"So, I'm not really a movie bad guy," Ralph began, "But I do have the experience of being a video game bad guy. For thirty years, I lived with people who couldn't stand me. I slept in a dump made out of bricks and was thrown off a building into a puddle of mud multiple times a day. I'll admit, it….wasn't great. It was frustrating and….well, it was lonely."
Ralph paused and glanced around at the others to gage their reactions. He was somewhat surprised when he saw that both Turbo and Hades were paying close attention to his words. He even noticed Loki watching him from the corner of his eyes, though the god was doing his best to appear as though he wasn't paying attention.
"It….It got to me, you know?" Ralph continued, feeling slightly more confident than before, "Having my face pushed into the muck day in and day out, all for doing a job that I didn't even want. I got resentful, focused on the negative, and in the end, I did something stupid that almost got a lot of people killed."
"But it wasn't all bad," Turbo spoke up.
"What do you mean?" Ralph questioned as he blinked at Turbo in confusion.
"Well, if none of that had happened, you wouldn't have met Vanellope," Turbo explained, "In the end, you became a better person because of what happened. Seemed like your friends did too. I mean, would you be doing this at all if none of that had happened?"
"I….I suppose not," Ralph replied with a thoughtful shrug, "Guess it's something to think about. Thanks Turbo."
"Hey, I'm just telling you what I see," Turbo said with a shrug, averting his eyes from Ralph.
"Why don't you go next, Turbo?" Ralph suggested as he retook his seat.
"Uh, sure," Turbo replied nervously as he pushed himself out of his chair and onto the floor, "So, I just talk about myself?"
"That's the idea," Ralph replied with a nod of his head.
"Okay," Turbo replied with a nod, "Well, um, I'm Turbo."
"Hi, Turbo," Ralph and Hades replied.
"Well, I guess in a lot of ways, I'm like Ralph," Turbo explained, "I'm a videogame character from around the same time period. Unlike him though, I was the protagonist of my game, and eventually, my game stopped being popular."
"What do you mean?" Hades questioned.
"When my game first came out, it was really popular," Turbo explained, a small smile spreading across his features as he remembered, "Kids had never seen something like it. But, eventually, someone made something better and the kids moved on to that. I….didn't take it well. I was so use to being in the spotlight that when people stopped paying attention to me, it kind of drove me a little….well, a little crazy."
"How crazy is a little crazy?" Loki questioned, causing Turbo to blink in surprise.
"Uh well, I jumped into the new game, looking to get the attention back," Turbo explained, "I kind of overdid it though and everyone thought that both my game and the new one were broken. Both ended up getting unplugged."
"What happened to you?" Hades inquired.
"I managed to escape," Turbo explained, "Eventually, I was able to sneak into another racing game called Sugar Rush. I realized that if I did the same thing as before, I would be caught and the game would be shut down again. So I….inserted myself into the game."
"How did you manage that?" Loki inquired.
"I had already figured out how the code of a game works from my time in my old game," Turbo explained, "My original plan for the first time I did this was to write myself into the game. After that got both games unplugged, I realized that to just do that was too blatant. So, I utilized some code that had been left over from an unfinished character."
"What does that mean?" Loki asked.
"It means that the game developers started to create a character but eventually decided not to finish but left the leftover bits of data in the game," Turbo elaborated.
"This unfinished character would be that King Candy guy, right?" Hades guessed.
"Exactly. I combined my code with his own so that I could take his form as a disguise," Turbo confirmed, "And then, well…."
Turbo paused and looked over at Ralph, who let out a small sigh.
"It's alright, Turbo," Ralph reassured the racer, "I would be a bit of a hypocrite if I got mad at you for telling this story."
"Okay," Turbo replied with a nod of his head before he turned his attention back to Loki and Hades, "After that, I basically removed the real ruler of the game, Vanellope, from the code and made everyone forget about her."
"A cunning plan," Loki commented, "Why did it fail?"
"Bad luck mostly," Turbo answered with a shrug, "I didn't take someone from outside the game wandering in and wrecking everything into account."
"What do you do now?" Ralph questioned.
"Now?" Turbo questioned, hesitating as he thought the question over, "I don't really do much of anything. Sometimes I get to race in Sugar Rush but I don't think that's going to be happening again anytime soon."
"What makes you say that?" Ralph questioned as his brow furrowed in confusion.
"I…." Turbo paused as he thought over his words again, "Maybe this is a bad time to talk about this."
Ralph's expression remained confused and concerned but he nodded and kept from pressing the subject.
"Anyway, I think that's all I really have to share," Turbo stated with a shrug.
"Well, thank you for sharing, Turbo," Ralph stated with a nod before turning his attention towards Hades and Loki, "Who would like to go next?"
There was a long pause as Hades and Loki shared a look. After a moment, Loki smirked and bowed his head towards Hades while motioning for him to go ahead, prompting the god to sigh and roll his eyes before standing up.
"Alright, I guess I'll go," Hades grumbled, "Hi, my name is Hades, Lord of the Underworld."
"Hi, Hades," Ralph, Turbo, and Loki greeted together.
"So, I guess I'll get right into the whole 'origin story' thing," Hades stated as he made air quotes with his fingers, "My mom and dad were Titans, which means they were pretty bad news. Like, my dad ate me right after I was born. Let me tell you, going through puberty in your father's lower intestines is not something you want to experience. Eventually I, along with the rest of my siblings, were cut out when my youngest brother Zeus killed our father.
"Now, you might be thinking, 'Well, Hades, it can't get any worse than that.' Well, you'd be wrong. See after we defeated the rest of the Titans and locked them away, Zeus, my other brother Poseidon, and I drew straws to see who would get to rule what. Straws. How messed up is that? And low and behold, Zeus, the youngest, happens to draw the straw that makes him king of the freaking universe while I get stuck with the Underworld. You know, the place where all the dead people go? It's not exactly a happening place, let me tell you."
"Odin's beard, are you a whiner," Loki groaned, leaning back in his chair as he rolled his eyes.
"Loki," Ralph barked as he glared at the god.
"You got something to say, pal?" Hades inquired as he narrowed his eyes at Loki, "You think you've had it worse than me?"
"I know I have," Loki answered, leaning forward as he gave Hades a mocking grin, "We're similar you and I, which is why I know."
"Why don't I show you some of the ways we're different?" Hades questioned dangerously as the flames covering his body began to turn red.
"Enough, come on guys," Ralph pleaded, holding his hands up to both Hades and Loki, "This isn't a contest."
Hades shot a glare at Ralph but visibly reigned his anger back in, his flames turning back to their normal shade of blue as he retook his seat.
"Good," Ralph commented with a nod before he focused his attention on Loki, "Now, since you seem to be so eager to talk about your experiences, why don't you share now, Loki?"
"Very well," Loki replied, flashing Ralph a smug grin as he rose from his seat, "My name is Loki of Asgard, and I am burdened with glorious purpose."
"Oh please," Hades groaned as he rolled his eyes.
"Hades," Ralph said with an admonishing tone, "Let him speak."
Hades said nothing more, prompting Loki to continue.
"I was born in Jotunheim, the realm of the Frost Giants," Loki continued, "My father was Laufey, King of the Frost Giants."
"So….you're a Frost Giant?" Turbo questioned, his confusion clear on his face.
"I was born on the small side," Loki explained as he looked over at Turbo.
"That's one way to put it," Hades commented with a snort.
"Hades," Ralph said with a warning tone.
"It was my difference to others of my kind that shaped me into what I am today," Loki explained, "My father left me out in the cold to die but instead I was discovered by Odin, Lord of Asgard and Laufey's worst enemy, who decided to take me in and raise me as his own alongside his son, Thor."
"That sounds pretty good for you," Hades observed.
"One would think, and it was certainly an improvement over dying in infancy," Loki agreed, "But that life had its troubles as well."
"What kind of troubles?" Ralph prompted.
"I may have been raised by them but I was never truly an Asgardian," Loki explained, his expression growing pensive, "They were all dull brutes just like the giants they so hated. My skills lay outside of combat."
"So, you never really fit in," Ralph observed.
"No, I suppose I didn't," Loki agreed as he blinked his eyes and gave Ralph a small smile, "And then, there was Thor, the favored son. I may have been raised as a prince just like him but it was clear that I would never rule, despite it being, unknowingly, my birth right."
"So, you rebelled," Hades surmised.
"Precisely," Loki answered with a grin, though it fell from his face as he continued, "Though my plans have always been thwarted by the Odinson. Something I believe you are also familiar with, Hades."
"You got that right," Hades agreed with a snort.
"So, it is as I said, we are more alike than you thought," Loki stated as he retook his seat, turning his attention towards Ralph as he did, "Why, even Ralph and I have a few, basic similarities."
"Like what?" Ralph questioned as he quirked an eyebrow at Loki.
"Well, we've both been vexed by men wielding hammers," Loki explained with a smirk.
"I never really thought of it that way, but I guess you're right," Ralph agree with a chuckle before he patted himself on the leg and looked around at the three villains, "Well, I have to say, this all went a lot better than I expected."
"You know this was kind of fun," Hades agreed with a shrug before eyeing Loki, "Despite the company we had to put up with."
"Indeed," Loki stated as he grinned at Hades, "It was amusing in its own way."
"Well, if you guys liked it, I plan on doing it again next week," Ralph said as he stood up, prompting the others to do the same, "Until then, I guess we're done for tonight, unless you guys have anything else you want to talk about."
"Not particularly," Hades replied, stretching his back and grabbing another cookie off of the table, "The only thing I need right now is a drink. You want one, big guy? I'm buying."
"Sounds good," Ralph agreed with a nod.
"I think I might take you up on that offer as well," Loki stated as he and Hades made their way towards the door leading out the back room.
"That offer wasn't meant for you," Hades grumbled as he narrowed his eyes at Loki.
"You wound me, Hades," Loki said with a mocking tone as he placed his hand against his chest, "And here I thought we were becoming friends."
"When the Underworld freezes over, pal," Hades spat as the two of them exited the room, causing Ralph to smirk and shake his head.
"Uh, Ralph," Turbo spoke up after clearing his throat, bringing Ralph's attention to him, "Can I talk to you about something?"
"Sure, Turbo," Ralph confirmed as he turned towards the racer and quirked an eyebrow, "What's up?"
"Something happened today that I think you would want to know about," Turbo explained, his expression turning nervous, "Something involving Vanellope."
Ralph blinked in surprise for a few seconds before his expression turned serious.
"Tell me everything," he stated solemnly.
A/N: Had a lot of fun writing this one, especially the interactions between the various villains. Hope you guys liked it too! As always, feedback and critiques are always welcome, so please review! Later!