18 – Please Don't Break It

HALEY

The cornflakes were amazing. The pumpkin juice had never tasted this delicious. She wasn't even bothered by the ignorant first-year who had eaten the last treacle tart. Had the colours always been this vibrant?

"You've been smiling all morning," Hermione remarked.

Haley's smile widened. I like him. She wanted to tell her. Wanted to tell him. Or better yet, everyone. Instead she took another sip of that delicious pumpkin juice. As soon as she had allowed the thought it had unlocked all kinds of feelings inside her.

"Probably because of Malfoy," Fred commented. Haley almost choked on her pumpkin juice. Had George told him? Was he insane? "We've seen him earlier. Limping his way to Madame Pomfrey. Wish we knew what happened to him." He continued with a laugh, elbowing his twin brother.

So, he hadn't tattled after all. But wait, what had he said? She masked her surprise with a cough. Did that mean his leg had gotten worse? She turned toward the Slytherin table without being able to stop herself. She couldn't find him. Was he still in the hospital wing? She schooled her face into a disinterested expression. Hopefully, it was convincing.

"Yeah, well, sadly he seemed much better, when we passed him on the stairs," George added regretfully. One of his brows was lifted pointedly.

"What were you even doing in the hospital wing?" Haley asked, trying to subtly change the topic.

"That my dear –" George sang.

"– Is none of your business," Fred completed, sending her a smirk and whispering something to his brother that made him laugh.

Haley turned to share an eye-roll with Hermione but when her eyes wandered across the hall they stopped at the entrance. Draco Malfoy walked in and her heart leaped in surprise. He looked completely fine, walking on his own two legs and everything. She tried not to look too relieved when she finally met her friend's eyes.

"Um… could you hand me the toast?" She asked, saying the first best thing that came to her mind.

Hermione frowned, pointedly glancing at Haley's plate where two slices of toast were sitting. Untouched.

"Oh." She hadn't even noticed taking the toast.

"You seem… distracted." Her friend commented, studying Haley intently.

"I…" What was she supposed to answer?

"You up for quidditch tonight?" Ron asked from her right. She thanked him silently for the good save. He was a Keeper after all.

"Of course. When does training start again?" She asked.

"After dinner. Only hope, it won't start raining again as soon as we step onto the pitch."

"Yeah," she agreed, looking at the magical ceiling above them. The sky was clear and blue. It seemed like it was going to be sunny today. She had an idea. Wouldn't it be stupid to waste such a perfectly good day?

"I almost forgot. There's something I wanted to do today." She got up.

"What? Where are you going?" Ron called after her.

"See you at practice."

"But Haley, your homework," Hermione joined in.

"That can wait until tomorrow." It was a good thing tomorrow was Sunday.

Before exiting the hall, Haley stopped by the Ravenclaw table, seeking out a certain blonde.

"Hi Luna," she said leaning down so she could whisper in Luna's ear. The girl turned her head, seeming not surprised at all to suddenly find the Gryffindor at her table.

"Hello Haley," the blonde greeted her cheerfully.

"Um, could you tell our friend that I would like to see him? Around noon if that's okay with him?"

Luna nodded earnestly.

"Tell him, I'll wait by the willow."

"I will."

"Thanks Luna," she added with a smile, giving her shoulder a little squeeze.

Luna beamed. "You're welcome."

"I mean it," she added, thinking that she should try to find something nice for the girl during her next Hogsmeade visit.

"Don't worry about it," Luna said in her quiet and dreamy voice. "We're friends, are we not?"

"Of course, we are," she replied warmly. Then she rushed out of the Great Hall, feeling the day couldn't have started any better.

…

Malfoy was already waiting for her by the time she reached the willow tree. He was lazily leaning against it, his legs crossed at the ankles. He was waiting just for her. There was a tingling sensation somewhere in her stomach. She felt the sudden urge to throw herself into his arms. But that would probably cause the boy to have a heart attack since she was still wearing her Invisibility Cloak.

…

DRACO

He wondered if seeing Potter appear out of thin air was something he would ever get used to.

"Hi," she greeted him with a wide smile. "How is your leg? I heard you went to see Madame Pomfrey after all."

Of course that was the first thing she was curious about. He rolled his eyes at the reminder of his embarrassing 'stunt' yesterday.

"All healed up. I told you it was nothing." He wished she would just let it go already.

"But you even went to the hospital wing!" She pressed. "And your hand?" She took a step closer to him, taking the glove off his previously injured hand and holding it up in front of her face as if she could see the traces of his injury.

"Nothing that one of Pomfrey's hexes couldn't fix." He pulled her hand down and let his fingers intertwine with hers. It sent a pleasant shiver across his skin. Something about her was different today. And it wasn't just the fact that she was wearing her hair differently. (There were two braids on both sides of her head, running together in the back in a half-bun.) She almost seemed to glow from inside, a soft content smile adorning her lips. What could have caused that?

…

HALEY

His thumb was drawing half-circles onto the back of her hand, making her skin tingle. This wasn't the first time she was holding his hand but it was the first time it made her feel closer to him somehow. She didn't imagine there were a lot of people he would actually allow to touch him. Let alone, hold his hand. It made her want to hold onto it and never let go.

"So, you're all healed up?" She had to ask again. Just to make sure he really was all right.

"Yes," he drawled with an eye-roll. "I feel like I could fight a dragon."

Haley shuddered. "Believe me, you don't actually want to fight a dragon."

"Whatever. So, was that all you called me here for?" He asked in a bored tone. "Just so you could make sure I was still alive and mother me?"

She shook her head slowly, biting her lips and choosing to ignore the jab. "I thought… since our date last night got cut short… we ought to… use this wonderful day to… continue it."

Malfoy quirked an eyebrow. She wanted to reach out and smooth her finger along it.

"Did you bring your umbrella?" She asked instead.

"It's not an umbrella." He scoffed. "It's a-"

"-time machine, I know," she continued with a chuckle. He rolled his eyes. Oh, she loved teasing him.

"Why do you have to be so…?" He shook his head, unable to finish his sentence.

"So, did you bring the 'time machine' or not?" There was a giddiness bubbling up inside her that was threatening to spill over.

Draco sighed but reached into his shoulder bag and pulled out the enchanted umbrella. After a whispered "Sugar tea," and a flash of light they were transported to a warm September afternoon in Hogsmeade.

Their coats which were much too thick for the warm September air were dropped to the ground, forming a makeshift blanket.

"Are you hungry?" Haley asked, as the boy sat down next to her. "I brought some sandwiches from the kitchens." She unpacked a couple of sandwiches and additional sweet treats Dobby had practically forced onto her from her bag and spread them out in front of them.

Malfoy eyed the snacks sceptically.

"Come on. I'm not trying to turn you into a cat two times in a row. That would be much too predictable." She grabbed a chocolate chip muffin with cherries, bit off a chocolatey chunk and offered it to the boy.

His eyes dramatically widened as he carefully inspected the muffin from all sides.

Haley chuckled at his antics. "Just eat it," she ordered. He did. But not before sighing heavily. Merlin, he was so dramatic. What did she even like about him?

But she did like him. Even when he was being extra annoying. She liked that his hands were always cold and that they became warm when she held them. She liked that he was so easily offended whenever she made fun of him. She liked that she could read the nervousness from his fidgeting hands even when his face was a mask of controlled calmness. She liked that he always drank Earl Grey like some pretentious English gentleman but threw tons of sugar in to make up for the bitter taste. She liked that he was sometimes trying so hard to impress her but ended up doing something embarrassing instead. She liked that it felt as if she was learning something new about the boy she had 'known' for five years each time they spend time together. She liked –

"Is there something on my face?" Draco asked, startling her out of her thoughts.

Haley shook her head with a jerk. "Nothing except your incredibly pointy chin." She answered with a grin, tapping against his chin playfully.

He scowled, narrowing his eyes at her. Then he shuffled around on the coat-blanket, turning his back to her.

Haley laughed. "I can't look at you like that," she protested indignantly.

"I see you got the point," he grumbled pettily. Haley rolled her eyes. She could be childish as well. She scooted over to the boy and wrapped her arms around him from behind. He tensed. But Haley only tightened her grip on him and hooked her chin over his shoulder.

"I was mistaken," she whispered against his ear. "It's not that pointy." His scent surrounded her like a cloud. She took a deep breath, trying to further sink into the smell of mint and lavender. He smelled so good. She leaned forward and kissed his cheek. She just felt so affectionate today. It was only strange that he wasn't responding. At all. Was it too much? She let go of him and scooted over to his side.

"Oh. I was keeping you from eating. Sorry," she said, realising that she had trapped his arms under hers. The way he was clutching the muffin it seemed as if he was trying to squash it. He was just staring in front of him, looking into space.

"Um…" Haley bit her lips uncertainly, waving one hand in front of his face to get his attention.

"Stop that." He frowned, his gaze focusing on her now. "What's… wrong with you? You're usually not this…" he trailed off, a soft pink blush dusting his cheeks. "Well, not like this."

"I just..." The girl shrugged. "I realized something," she replied cryptically.

"So?" He asked, when she didn't clarify what she meant.

Haley pulled at a loose thread on the coat she was kneeling on. "I really like…" she started to say, looking up at the boy who was staring at her expectantly. She grinned. "When you're wearing your hair like this." She nodded at his blond locks that were framing his face softly. Devoid of any gel.

The boy raised an eyebrow, obviously expecting her to go on. But there was nothing else to say. For the moment.

"I see," he said, in a carefully neutral tone. Haley really didn't like that tone. It meant he was erecting a wall between them. She was glad there were still things she disliked about him.

Her eyes fell on the muffin again. "You were supposed to eat that muffin, not kill it," she chided softly.

He followed her gaze. "I wasn't killing it," he said around a scowl, placing the poor, pitiful muffin back with the luckier ones. Oh, he was annoyed with her now. Well, at least he wasn't hiding how he was feeling any more.

"Must have imagined that then." She raised both her eyebrows sceptically.

"Definitely." He growled, his scowl intensifying. Haley chuckled. It looked so silly. She grabbed his face and kissed the scowl away. It was no more than a short peck and when she pulled back she wanted to kiss him again. Or look at him some more. She couldn't decide. She felt like she had never really seen him before.

"What...?" The boy asked, seeming dazed and confused. There was a slight crease between his brows and his lower lip was jutting out, almost pouting. How cute he looked. Haley wanted to eat him. Or shower him with kisses. There was a strange pull in her chest that left her feeling slightly feverish and brought a fresh wave of affection with it. All those new feelings were threatening to burst out of her. What was she supposed to do with them? Her heart was beating madly, as if it was trying to remind her that she was alive. She squeezed her eyes shut and lay back on her coat, trying to calm her racing heart. Perhaps she was going to die.

"Haley?" He called her name in surprise, taking her hand in his. She opened her eyes and smiled. No, she wasn't dying. She was pretty sure dying felt less… happy. She pulled at his hand, making him tumble down next to her.

"What the – are you okay?" He asked worriedly, his face only a few inches away from hers. She squeezed his fingers, suddenly feeling much calmer now. His almost-warm touch was grounding her. She knew what to do now. She leaned up on her elbow, peering down at the boy who was still holding her hand in an awkward angle.

"You're… acting really strange today." He observed, furrowing his brows.

"That's because I… before yesterday I…" She started to say. "I didn't realise."

"Realise… what?" He whispered almost tonelessly. There was something nervous about him, maybe even scared. But there was no reason to be scared. She wanted to take away all of his fears. With a tenderness that made her fingers tremble she brushed a strand of hair out of his eyes. His silvery grey eyes that were so pretty. She still hadn't told him that. It was now or never. With all the Gryffindor courage she owned she took a deep breath, stared right into his eyes and said,

"I didn't realise how much I liked you." She cupped his cheek in her hand. "I really do – I –" She felt his grip on her hand tighten almost painfully. "I like you a lot, Draco."

…

DRACO

Was that the reason for her odd behaviour all day? She liked him? She liked him a lot. He could only stare at her in silent shock. I didn't realise how much I liked you. I like you a lot, Draco. It was as though the words had lifted a weight that had been sitting on his heart. Was it true? She wouldn't joke about something like this, right? But then, the way she had acted all day and yesterday night as well… it all seemed to support the confession. It wasn't even much of a confession. She had hardly declared her undying love to him. But still… it was a start. A step in the right direction. Especially, coming from Potter. He felt a wide smile split his face in two. He wanted to laugh but it sounded a tad like a sob instead. Well, he wasn't going to cry over this. Obviously. He pulled her fully on top of him, hugging her tightly. If one or two tears collected in his eyes he could at least keep her from seeing them like this. But then, he didn't really care either way. This was Haley. And she had said that she liked him. A lot. How is it possible for one person to make me this happy?, he wondered not for the first time.

"I'm so in love with you." He whispered, a part of him wanting her to hear it and another part hoping she wouldn't. But she had to know it already anyway. He felt like his love was painfully obvious in everything he did. Shining through every glance, every word, every touch.

…

HALEY

Pressed against his chest, she could feel the urgent thumping of his heart close to her ear. And then he said it, softly like a caress. "I'm so in love with you."

He was in love with her. Love. Love. Love. The word echoed inside her head, wrapped itself around her heart and squeezed. It seemed as if she was dying after all. But at least she was dying in Draco Malfoy's arms. She wanted to slap herself for thinking something that cheesy. What was wrong with her? She raised her head off Draco's chest and tried to glare at him.

"You simply had to trump my words with such a dramatic declaration, didn't you?"

His eyes widened for a split second, then he realised that she was teasing him.

He rolled his eyes. "I was merely telling the truth," he said defiantly.

"Are you sure?" She asked. "Why is your nose growing then?"

"You're not making any sense." He frowned. Probably didn't know the story of Pinocchio. She kissed his nose playfully. Then his cheek. His other cheek. Before her mouth finally lingered on his lips. He tasted of cherries and chocolate and something else that was entirely him. It felt so good that she was finally able to kiss him without holding a part of herself back. Without questioning her feelings any more and instead showing him how much she cared. This time it was her who was offering a part of herself to him.

…

DRACO

Never before had she kissed him like this. Her kisses were all tenderness and affection. One of her hands was entangled in his hair, caressing his scalp while her other one had found his. She was playing with his fingers and softly running her own along the inside of his hand, making him shiver and his skin prickle pleasantly. He curled his free hand around her back, pulling her closer still until it felt as if she was melting into him. If he had to choose one moment he had to relive again and again until he died he would choose this. Here and now. Kissing this infuriating girl that he had initially despised. And now? Now she meant the world to him.

When she pulled away after what could have been hours, he instantly missed her lips. He opened his eyes slowly, fearing this had been only a dream and he was about to wake up alone in his bed. But she was still there. Softly, smiling at him as if… he was someone special to her. Then he noticed something shiny in front of him.

"The necklace," he whispered, feeling warmth settling in his chest. "You're wearing it." He reached for the little pendant that was dangling on a chain from her neck. The one he had given to her. He hadn't seen her wear it ever since the day he had given it to her.

"Yeah, well. I wanted to." She shrugged, looking to the side. "It just felt… right to wear it."

He smiled softly, letting go of the fairy so that it swung back and forth. "What if someone saw it? Won't they ask questions?" He asked cautiously.

"Probably."

"So…?"

"So, I'll tell them." She had started to drum her fingers on his chest softly. Needless to say it was very distracting.

"Tell who?"

"I…" She bit her lips. Incredibly distracting. "I was thinking… I've been wanting to tell Hermione and Ron."

"About…?" He wasn't sure if the fact that she wanted to tell her friends was a good thing or a bad thing.

"You… and me." She said it like it was something obvious. It was touching that she wanted to tell her friends about him.

"But… they probably won't just accept it, will they?"

Haley sighed in exasperation, resting her chin on her palms. "They'll have to." She narrowed her eyes dangerously. "And if not, well… I can't just not tell them I'm dating you."

"Dating?" He asked, feeling foolish but he needed to make sure. He was actually surprised she hadn't told them already. Didn't those Gryffindors share everything with one another?

She nodded. "I mean, we are… aren't we? You were the one who asked me out, remember?"

He did remember. It seemed like only yesterday but at the same time like a lifetime ago.

"So… is it okay if I tell them?" She asked. "That you're my–" she hesitated. "my boyfriend?" The word boyfriend made something flutter pleasantly in his stomach.

"Sure." He grinned. "Tell them." If that was what she wanted. She could have asked him to dance on top of the Gryffindor table wearing a lion's head and he probably would have agreed. He was so hopelessly gone for her. He only hoped she never found out just how tightly he was wrapped around her little finger.

…

HALEY

"It's a bit weird, though, isn't it?" She asked, feeling his fingers draw circles on her back soothingly.

"Hm?" He sounded slightly distracted.

"You know… considering our history… it seems so… I don't know. Like a bad romance novel." She raised an eyebrow sceptically. "Girl meets boy… both of them can't stand each other… and then… she ends up stealing the boy's heart." Haley chuckled, rolling her eyes at the silliness.

The boy frowned, watching her thoughtfully. "What makes you think you stole my heart?"

She snorted, placing her hand over his heart, feeling the fast and steady thrum of it. "I don't think hearts are meant to beat this fast normally. At this rate, it's going to jump out of your ribcage."

He scowled. "So? That doesn't mean you stole it. I'd never let a Gryffindor steal something from me. Maybe I…" He looked away with a sneer. "let you have it."

She didn't know what to say. Whether to feel offended or touched. A soft ache in her heart told her she was definitely touched. But how did you reply to something like that? She felt teasing him would be too much. Not when he was being this honest. When he was letting her see this vulnerable side of him. Haley reached out and cradled his face in her hand, gently brushing her fingers along his soft skin.

"You'd better not lose it," he mumbled grumpily, his mouth a tight line.

"Or else?" She asked softly, not being able to help herself.

He rolled his eyes in a show of irritation. "I don't know, Potter. Might have to end you."

Despite the harsh words it seemed like there was something else he wasn't saying. She saw it in the way his left hand came up to rest on top of her own, interlacing their fingers over his chest as if he was trying to pull her inside his heart. His eyes, too, were two silver pearls of raw emotion, shimmering with an intensity that seemed both vulnerable and determined at the same time. And in that moment it was almost as if she was hearing the words he was trying to express silently. I'm trusting you with my heart, he was saying. Please don't break it.

"I won't." She said simply, an explosion of prickling feelings spreading through her insides. It felt like a promise. But was it enough? No other words she could think of seemed to fit. Maybe there was something other than words that would help her express how she felt. She let her fingers slowly run down his cheek, brushing across his lips with only her fingertips. The boy's eyes closed, a content sigh escaping his lips. Haley smiled. Then she leaned down and kissed him, silently promising that he could trust her and that there was no reason to worry because she wasn't going to break his heart.

All this time she had been afraid to let herself feel something for him. Because of their past. Because of his house and his family name. Because of all the little fights they had had and the cruelness he was capable of expressing toward others. And toward her as well. She had thought that she could never truly care about him because of all these reasons. But now she understood that there was more to the boy than just his faults. He was also capable of being caring and vulnerable and loving. He wasn't perfect. Far from it. But Haley wasn't perfect either. All she knew was that being with him made her feel happier than she had felt in a long time. If ever. And that was what she wanted to show him.

She had thought that she had to somehow remove the Malfoy of the past from his present more amiable version in order to like him. But perhaps it wasn't right to pick out only the parts she liked and disregard his flaws. Because ultimately the flaws were a part of him, too. And they made him who he was. They made him into Draco.

A boy she cared about. The boy she liked. The boy she felt herself falling in love with.

…

...

Silent tears were rolling down her cheeks. Everything was lost. Back then she had felt so happy. As if nothing could ever take away the incredible feeling of joy. She pulled her legs up on the seat and wrapped her arms around them, trying to hold herself together. She didn't want to feel. She couldn't let herself feel. But the promise. She had broken it, hadn't she? In the end, she had broken his heart. It had been wrong. Hadn't been his fault. She knew that. But she had only done it because of Si-

A fresh wave of tears collected in her eyes, turning her skin into a wet mess. No. She couldn't think about him. It would break her. But wasn't she already broken? How was life so wonderful in one moment and became a heap of shattered glass in the next? She tried to calm herself, keep down the sobs and the tears and control of her heart.

There was a small hand on her shoulder. A barely there presence but still comforting somehow. She didn't even know who the hand belonged to but its subtle gentleness seemed to melt a hole into the ice wall she had constructed around her heart. A heartwrenching sob filled the dark compartment. She couldn't keep away the tears any longer.

…

A/N: I'm sorry? The fluff can't last forever. Or can it...? I really hope this mountain of fluff is going to make up for all the angst that is about to crash in soon. I originally wanted to end this chapter with this line:

"And so the snake fell in love with the lion. What a brave lion. What a thoughtless and stupid snake."

But I figured it would have disrupted the whole flow of the chapter. So, you get it as a sort of outtake :D And earlier in the chapter I first wrote chocolate "ship" muffin, which was stupid of me. But for ending this on such a bittersweet note y'all deserve a laugh :)

Title is inspired by the song "L-O-V-E" as interpreted by Darren Criss (His portrayal of Harry is simply glorious.)

Thank you so much for reading, everyone! Leave me your thoughts 3 (you know since this is my birth month and everything. Just saying :P)