Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight, I just like to hang out in her world.
I stared at the phone after hanging up with Alice. The back of the chair I was standing behind was pulverized. She told me to make sure that Bella was still alive. I left to keep her alive. I left to save her from me. I would only ruin her life if she survived loving me at all. I looked at the message again.'Call her house, make sure she survived. Don't say a word.' If this was a game I would cut ties with that meddling pixie. My existence was agony the moment I made the decision to leave my Bella. Nevertheless I could not continue to subject her to this half life of mine. The danger to her viability was too great. Within days of declaring myself to her she was attacked by a feral miscreant of my own kind. Within weeks of her recovery she was attacked by my own brother. Over something as benign as a papercut. He was forgiven, of course, I could not hold his nature against him after a summer of being desensitised to the potency of human blood. No, I was the one to blame, for allowing myself into her society. I knew very well a monster had no right to position himself next to such a delicate creature. I was meant for the shadows, her brilliant light had no place for me. And now I was to find out if she'd survived. Had she perished without experiencing the life I gave back to her, I would not be long behind her.
I dialed her number and got the answering machine, so I hung up. I tried again with the same results. The third time I called it was Charlie who answered. I held my breath and taped the end button. It was 2:47pm. She should be home from school, what day was it? It took me a moment to recall. I looked around the one room I'd claimed as my own on the 4th floor toward the edge of a Favela. The ladder had broken and it had been abandoned, no human scent was found in this room, it had a cot, a table and a sink that was cracked. The paint was chipped, and from the thoughts around me I gleaned that an old man died a few years ago in this place. It was thought to be haunted. It was fit for my purposes, however. Existing was a daily torment. So much so that I was compelled to exile myself from my loved ones, after my prior failure at tracking the mate of the vile wight who dared to place a hand on Bella. No matter. I'll find her someday, and rip her apart, before she does me. I could no longer subject my family to my anguish, therefore far away as I found myself, is where I would stay. My only measure of time were the sunrises and sets in this bright place. I discovered that I had become so accustomed to the warmth of my Bella, that the heat of the sun brought a measure of comfort to me. I could almost imagine it was her, wrapping me in her warmth. Based on the 7 year old calendar on the wall and the number of times the sun rose, I figured out that it was Saturday. She would be out enjoying the sunshine today, if there was any to be had in Forks. The light glinting in her hair, her face toward the sky. I had no place next to her in the sun. I had no right to stand with her.
At 2:59 I called again. Charlie picked up, and after I heard the breath he took to speak his greeting I hung up. I called again at 3:22 and 3:49. At 4:10 he became irate, so I listened to a fraction of his threat before I hung up again without a word. I waited five minutes and called again, but this time he didn't say a word. He listened to my silence as my hand gripped the phone, because I heard her footsteps on the stairs in the background. I'd listened to her footsteps many times while waiting for her to enter her room. Waiting to be in her presence, to enjoy her shy smiles, to hash out the secrets of her silent mind. My only insight, her melted chocolate eyes, and still her answers were always surprising to me. This moment was the closest to her I had been in seven months. Seven months today.
"I understand that this may be entertaining for you, call to play a joke on the Chief of police. I want you to know that I have resources available to me that will not only identify your phone number, but it will tell me where you live, and who your parents are. You're going to enjoy community service this summer." This time, Charlie ended the call.
His little declaration didn't matter. I heard her movement. I knew she was there. Somewhere her heart was still beating. I stared at the black screen on my phone feeling almost dizzy. She was right there. For those few seconds I was a fragment of her world. Notwithstanding how juvenile it required me to behave to be assured, I knew she was alive. However I was not guaranteed of her health and safety. She was able to walk up the stairs of her own faculty, but I realized I needed to hear her breath. Perhaps I could hear her heartbeat if I listened hard enough, assuming I got her on the phone. I checked the time. It was now 5:01. She always began her dinner process around 5pm, because Charlie worked a twelve hour shift starting at 6am during the week, and Bella was a creature of habit. She could be standing mere feet away from the phone presently, her delicate hand could put the receiver to her ear, I could hear her.
Without thinking I dialed her number again, it rang once, twice, three times, within 3 tenths of a second I considered leaving a message for her but changed my mind. I was about to hang up when I heard the call connect. The quietest intake of breath sent a burst of recognition within me, oh but to breathe her exhale would be heaven. From highest highs to lowest lows, her greeting was agony. "Hello?" her trembling voice was hoarse and weak, breathy and a great effort. I heard her clear her throat and try again with a slightly more clear tone. "Hello." The finality of her tone struck me, as if she had accomplished her ambition of speaking. As if she should be proud for voicing her greeting to some unknown caller. The beauty of her voice marred with some undetermined malady brought me low. I listened to 3 half heartbeats, barely audible over the phone, and ended the call. I stood in the doorway to this forsaken room and allowed myself to feel the pain of experiencing her lovely fragility audibly. So human, so temporary, so precious. Suddenly I wanted nothing more than to listen to her shaking respirations, to feel the heat she put in the air with her presence, to lay my face against her heart and let it's pulse echo within me as if it were my own. It was nearly 9:30 pm in Brazil. Dark enough in the mostly unlit alleys to borrow a car, make it to a wooded area to hunt and make it to the airport. I ran to an area where the houses were more spread apart and a greater wealth was obvious. Where insurance would pay for the damages involved in borrowing a vehicle. I chose a car that was quiet and fast enough to get me to my next destination without being seen. Hunting was vital, it had been three and a half weeks since I was desperate enough to hold my breath and walk or jog at human speed toward a wooded area dense enough to support wildlife. Caiman are plentiful and easily obtained. Five of them were dispatched and I was out of the forest in less than 2 hours.
I arrived at the Airport at 1 am after stealing some clothes from a line, and a backpack and sandals from the trunk of the car I had borrowed. The white shirt sleeves and khaki pants were a little short, but rolling them up made me look like a typical tourist. I put my ragged clothing in the pack and walked to the ticket counter. The 3 am flight to LAX connected in Dallas. When I arrived I would connect again to SeaTac directly. I had two hours before I could begin the next leg of my journey. I still didn't know the details of what was happening, but after my hunt I was thinking calmly and coherently. I felt the pull to be in her presence. The anticipation would have caused my own heart to palpate if I were capable. However, my heartbeat was approximately 7000 miles away, and it was essential that I attend it immediately.
Writing in Edward POV is something that I truly enjoy. His use and knowledge of language is extensive, and I love using unusual or outdated English. You might think its because I'm pretentious, but really I'm just a dork with a thesaurus.
Music this chapter is The Fragile, NIN, and You Are The Reason, Calum Scott.
I'm a huge fan of NIN, but if you don't like the music of any of these artists, please just read the lyrics. I feel they fit the chapters.Trent Reznor is a genius and actually writes beautiful lyrics. There will be future NIN.